#like. i know what bullying an autistic person looks like. i was child abused like that. and this is it

[diamondrib]

people have got to quit bullying autistic people even if the autistic person thinks it's a joke or laughs along/lives with it bc they don't understand what you're doing or feel like they deserve better. why are there still so many middle school mean kids in real adult life

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

hi bread, I received an ask from someone who thinks that because they’ve been called the r slur for being autistic, that they can say it even though they’re not ID.

i am LSN autistic and don’t have ID so I answered the ask to the best of my ability but I don’t want to speak over anyone or accidentally spread untrue info. I know you don’t have ID, but I respect your posts and advocating for people with ID, so would you be okay with me sharing the post with you, and if you want you can provide your insight. you don’t have to at all, i just wanted to ask because I don’t want to misrepresent the issue.

thank you.

would prefer not be sent that post (upset me & often lead to harassment) but here some things can say or send:

this only post that can find right now that explain why not but there a lot just tumblr search system suck. if anyone have posts written by ppl w ID about why not that want share please feel free

some off top of head thoughts from listening to people w ID & in general disability/ID history:

(you = general you / people like person you talking about)

r slur come from old medical term for intellectual disability. “mental [version of r slur that end in -tion].” n version that end in -d shortened from it.

come from medical term for ID. not autism. not ADHD. not general any neurodivergence.

r slur & mental r word been used historically AND NOW to deny rights of people w ID. it been used for eugenics. think that word been watered down nowadays but by eugenics am meaning literal eugenic policies n direct actions. it been used for dehumanize people w ID, for deny rights n dignity, for deny education, for deny services n help, for forced sterilization, for involuntary institutionalized in abusive institutions with horrific abuse & neglect to point of barely alive or straight up death, for basically murder even.

in fact, word still in laws. many them old laws but still in affect n can be (& is) used any time to deny rights of people with ID.

while it really unfortunate n bad that be bullied n be called that word. as someone who been bullied with that slur, am sorry but that simply not on same level as this systemic level of abuse behind this word.

when be called r slur when not have ID, is comparing you to people with ID. is say you near/just as bad as them.

can’t reclaim something that never about you in first place.

especially when people most affected by slur (aka people with ID) want it disappear forever.

plus. many people without ID’s idea of “reclaim” that slur is just. use as insult. use as deprecation, use as self deprecation, use as poke fun of self. wow look am nearly as bad as people with ID.

while all not even bother learn what ID is n history behind people with ID n advocate for people with ID. (does person you talk about even know what it is. that it is intellectual functioning + adaptive functioning + symptom before technically 18 but usually before child. that it not same as dyslexia dyscalculia dysgraphia. do they say “intellectual disabilities” “an intellectual disability.” do they know what ID look like. do they know what severe profound ID look like. can they name one person with ID. just one. by name.)

disability’s not like gender sexuality. disability’s not like queerness. some experience may overlap but most things, can’t just copy paste because simply not same.

why you wanna say slur so bad. why you wanna collect slurs like it cool rocks so bad.

wow. you so cool n edgy n original (sarcasm)

if want able say & “reclaim” “fun” slur so bad. then also have hundreds (n thousands bc people with ID existed before it documented by modern western doctors) years of oppression & abuse & life lost that come with it. have the mistreatment n abuse that people with ID experience now—n. if that’s case. would be extremely lucky if even able make this far n be able to sit here use your communication privilege to talk about how want “reclaim” a fucking slur. because. did i mention people with ID are treated horribly.

denied education denied communication denied autonomy denied life changing therapies & help & aides. denied personhood.

still. today.

think that’s all

(tone = not mad at asker. just wish people dare think about anything other than themselves. just tired of this same old thing. am tired. my friends with ID double that. triple that. unspeakable amounts. but yeah am mad.)

[onlyplatonicirl]

boom explosion. guess what its been 2 years since i came into your ask box to bother you about blogverse!!! as usual its the roleplayer behind the first lorelcest kid Oleander, Mercury, and most importantly to me, Bv!Shandyo

genuine apologies if you dont enjoy these! thats pretty fair and i get that it didnt affect everyone else as strongly as it did me, i just feel like its important that you know how much youve affected my life positively.

so, i was a bullied, neglected kid with unsupervised internet acess when blogverse happened (still a kid just less, woo!) and blogverse, especially your blog was probably the only part of the internet that i genuinely believed changed me for the better.

the sense of belonging, escapism, and the opportunity to create a character and show them to others like me was incredibly beneficial for me as a person and an artist in the long run, and to this day making OCs, writing, and especially drawing are passions that i consider deeply important to me- passions that blogverse and its community didnt exactly start, but they played a big role in fostering it. i know you just accidentally one day made an entire community that lasted two months but i cannot stress to you enough that it changed my life and i cant thank you & queenie (unsure if they still go by that, sorry) enough for it.

I also majorly admired you (and many others in a lot of the communities you associated with, but especially you) greatly as a person, artist & writer!!! you were my art goal and while that's changed as ive grown, striving towards this goal nurtured a hobby that i now know was/is a special interest to me.

while probably seeming like minor interactions with some kid who didnt know how to write a consistent character to you, to me your patience, kindness & continual creation of art genuinely helped me retreat from my abusive home life, gain a sense of belonging as a bullied autistic child, get better at art n writing, & grow as a person. i still lurk in communities like blogverse, but bv was my first and forever will be cherished in my memory.

so yeah. the things you do affect people whether you think so or not, and while i dont majorly interact with your content anymore, i hope youre well n you keep being great. :)

I want you to know that I’m at a friend’s house right now and she’s cooking herself dinner. I’m reading this paragraph and I literally start tearing up in front of her and she asks me what’s wrong 😭😭😭

Legitimately I feel like I have somehow won at life, like I won a lottery, because I don’t possibly know what I did to deserve messages like this and it makes me feel so amazing to know that I have positively effected the life of another person. That’s all I can hope for in life, and I can feel how much heart went into this letter so I’m trying to respond in turn

Even though at the time of all of this I had just around turned 18 years old, I was still very much a kid who was also trying to escape from a less-than-ideal home life. I never expected an audience when writing tcoti, it was purely my own self-indulgent passion project with my own hyper-specific headcanons. The fact that other people resonated with it so much and it created so many other inspirations as completely unexpected and absolutely baffling to me. I could have never seen it coming in a million years. It changed MY life for the better to know a my own silly utmv ideas literally inspired like. Countless others

I’m also going to share this post with Queenie, because they NEED to see this. Blogverse was her passionate project and I think to know you were as touched by it as she was and loved the writing is amazing. Also I’m showing Slime. @cosmic-chronologer look at this post with your eyes. I didn’t contribute with the writing as much as I should have because of how busy I was, and the real masterminds behind the project go to Slime Queenie and Achro. I hope they see this message!!!!

Thank you for telling me about the positive impact me and the others have had on you, it genuinely makes me so happy to hear. I’m SO happy you’re still continuing to create!! Most of my utmv friends back from then have left the fandom obv but I’m still in contact with most of them :) it means so much to me that you told me, because otherwise I would have never known how you feel!!!!!

I wish you have been well all these years. I loved all the ship kids you made :))))))

[ruthlesslistener]

Wow I'm new here, what happened with you and the hk fandom on Tumblr?? You are so cool what ...;;;.;.; You don't have to answer this of course, I'm just curious :(

Oh it really wasn't the HK fandom in general, more a few select people I think- probably 2-3 at most. Basically, I got semi-popular in the HK fandom for both ficwriting and my frequent headcanons/lore analysis essays, or at least popular enough for people to start thinking of me as such. Around the summer of 2023 or so, I got an ask that had something to do with the concept of Ghost as an adult trapped in a child's body which I said was kinda weird and sus, bc at the time the only exposure I had to the concept was from shitty porn art; pretty much everyone I spoke to previously worked off the concept of Ghost being mentally a child, in a child's body. Well, whoever sent that anon got really upset at me for 'labeling them a pedophile'- even though I didn't say that, I just thought it was fuckin weird- and the whole thing, as you imagine, quickly dissolved into a shitshow that I honestly still really don't understand.

I'd get constant anon messages from this one person about how I ruined their life and opened them up to bullying and harassment because people looked up to me, and even if it was never my intention, it was still my fault bc I was popular and needed to know that I had power over what other people thought/needed to be held accountable for that power. I also got anons from a supposedly different person who said that they hated how I conflated my headcanons with canon and how I came off as a really rude, pushy person, which only got worse bc, well, I have a pretty shitty temper and a bad habit of not letting things go- which resulted in said people claiming that I had a victim complex, and, when I apologized for that and explained that the reason why I tend to be so defensive was bc I grew up in an abusive home, told me that I was just as awful as my father. I turned off anon asks for like, 6 months and then when I reopened them I instantly got a message from them talking about how awful I was and how I was just another popular kid who wanted to tear people apart for clout.

As you can imagine, that really upset me, bc I'm an autistic introvert with paranoia issues who has basically no concept of what people think of me, nor any desire to become popular; social status doesn't mean shit, I don't want people to look at me just my posts, etc etc. I just come onto my tumblr blog to infodump, and my interactions with fandom are more about me just releasing stuff into the wild to categorize them, hopefully gain some fun interaction with like-minded people (I don't know how to initiate conversations and one-on-one DMs often scare me). I'm also one of those autistics who struggle hard with using tone tags/hates misinformation and will try to correct it en loop without realizing people are saying shit just to provoke me (the sharks are smooth thing is something i hate SO MUCH because its NOT TRUE and i DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SAYING LIES IS FUNNY) and me growing up socially isolated in an environment where anything and everything seemed to provoke a screaming match kinda didn't help with figuring out how to diffuse situations. So from my pov, I fucked up and said something out of ignorance, got defensive, realized I got defensive and was being an ass and apologized, but it just didn't stop. Highly triggering, pretty upsetting scenario. Doesn't help that the concept of 'adult mind trapped in infant body' is one of the very few horror things that give me the ick due to aforementioned abuse reasons, so I couldn't exactly pretend to be sympathetic towards that headcanon either

(and yes, me pointing this out resulted in them claiming that i was using my disability as an excuse, rather than pointing out the legitimate role it had in me not knowing what the fuck i was doing wrong in the situation)

It hasn't killed my love for the game or my desire to write fic for it (I've just been obsessed with Destiny/my Destiny ocs since I started playing DnDestiny with friends, but even though it's on the backburner for now I can still feel the special interest there, lurking underneath), but it's fullheartedly destroyed my desire to write/post longform essays, headcanons, or lore explanations, because I just feel like I'm coming off as an insufferable know-it-all who's trying to correct everyone in my path. I came pretty damn close to just deleting my blog bc the thought of being a popular blogger with unknown influence on other people's behavior gave me panic attacks- and am honestly still pretty tempted sometimes- but the amount of TERFs I would have to block and tags I would have to filter is what kept me from doing it. I just stick to Discord for my infodumps now, pretty much.

So yeah, that's what happened. Again, logically I know that it was probably only a few people at most, but bc it was on anon, I couldn't tell. You'll probably be able to find the whole fiasco on my blog somewhere if you look, I didn't delete it because I didn't want to seem like I was trying to cover up how much of an ass I was being. Judge it for yourself as you will.

[mysterybooks-world]

Guys, I have a great story idea

do you know Frowny Fox from GameToons?

Frowny Fox is a rejected toy of Playtime Co. and a rejected member of the Smiling Critters.

my idea is

( I reincarnated to Frowny Fox )

Listen to my idea

y/n was a teenager and a fan of Games & fan story

y/n You like video games & played (poppy playtime) before & And watch The GameToons channel.

When y/n died. they reincarnated to Frowny Fox

They were pleased Because Frowny Fox was their favorite character

My idea is to summarize the story.

After you realize that you Die and become Frowny Fox

y/n Decisions to live a happy and adventurous life

first: You tried to find out if there was a guide and Find a screen

shows you your level and your advantages

Kind of reminds you of undertale

secondly: Fix your body.

You search for a laboratory & you Find the materials to Fix Yourbody.

And you have found a shoulder bag

thirdly: Look for Frowny Fox project ownership papers And destroy the backup copy

Even if you were a rejected toy It is better to be completely free From the factory and CEO

you expected it to be difficult, But you found it easy surprisingly.

You said to yourself: Okay makes sense After all I know the law of the universe GameToons

Fourthly: Find a way out of the factory After you left a message to Hoppy Hopscotch the only and true friend to Frowny Fox

fifthly: What is your goal?

Simply You help people of all ages: like

Abuse Children

Fix parents' relationship with their children however if the parents Don't change

y/n uses the phone to call the authorities and says they are an unknown person who would like to report an Abuse Child.

After the intervention of the authorities

y/n helps find a new family for Children.

Children who are bullied or do not have self-confidence or Autistic children.

teenagers & Adults who find difficulty in their lives

People who Face Trauma & Losing someone dear to them & Mourning

y/n as Frowny Fox you listen to their stories and Help them

After you left the factory

your level up And you earned it new power

Like your bag

y/n appearance changed a little

Imagine with me a Frowny Fox wears glasses

(A note I am a person who wears glasses and I like my character to have glasses So I make y/n a person who wore glasses before they died)

or

(I want his hair to be fluffy and soft)

Imagine this scene with me:

Frowny Fox sings at a music festival With a teenage band

Like this scene (Let It Rain | MLP: Equestria Girls)

Imagine a smoke coming out of the mouth of Frowny Fox And drying up people like Sunset Shimmer

(This is the color of the gas)

You have to admit that this is a fitting (Let It Rain | MLP)song for Frowny Fox

I have other songs that suit the story scenes, I imagine it such as:

(“Gonna Be My Day” My Little Pony: A New Generation) (Good Vibes | MLP: Equestria Girls ) (Run to Break Free | MLP: Equestria Girls) (Equestria Girls Season 2 | 'Find the Magic' Music Video) (Play (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) (Applause - Lady Gaga (Lyrics)) (Top Of The World From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile ) (Rip Up The Recipe From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile ) (Carried Away From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile) (Take A Look At Us Now From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile) (Running Out Of Time - The Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) (Keep the beat The - Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) (Tough crowd - Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) ("Wake Up" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Flying Solo" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Finally Free" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Bright" | Julie and the Phantoms) (Stand Tall" Julie and the Phantoms) (Touch The Sky (Brave) Cover) (Lena Hall - The Magic Inside (I Am Just a Pony) (Aviators Remix)) (Who I Am - Lyrics | Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy) (Weightless - Lyrics | Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy) ("Float" from Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast) (I'll Save You - Jordan Sweeto) (Anna Blue- Where Do I Go?) (Wildside (From "Adventures in Babysitting") ( Theme Song Zendaya - Keep It Undercover) (This Is Me From "Camp Rock") (Victorious Karaoke | Freak the Freak Out) (The Greatest Showman | "Never Enough") (The Greatest Showman Cast - The Greatest Show) (The Greatest Showman | "From Now On") (Will Smith - Friend Like Me from Aladdin) (Adam Friedman - Glorious (lyrics)) (When Can I See You Again - Owl City) (Owl City, Carly Rae Jepsen - Good Time) (Post Malone, Swae Lee - Sunflower) (Song of the Sea | Lullaby) (Bubble OST Florence Mok) ((bubble) theme song Smooth but only the Bubble and Humming sounds 🎶ONE HOUR🎶) (What Else Can I Do? From "Encanto") (Lundh & Jon Becker - Tonight) (Rival & Cadmium - Seasons) (Rival & Arc North - Starlight) (Rival & Cadmium - Fight For Me) (Arensky x Marin Hoxha x Jon Becker - My Gaming Life) (Dominick Soth - Chasing) (Unknown Brain & Spce CadeX - Holding You) (Real Hypha - Getaway)

Yes, I know it's a long list of songs, Anyway

I came up with this idea after watching: REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER

My brain said to me: Do you remember fan Stories of reborn as UnderTale characters

reborn as Sans or Frisk or Undyne Or any other characters

My brain: Why don't you write a story like this About a reader reborn as Frowny Fox?

This is a thought that buzzed in my head like a bee

There are many ideas for story chapters.

Anyway

After Frowny Fox became famous.

The evil CEO ordered To catch that toy

The evil CEO asked how this happened and how Frowny Fox escaped from his factory

Evil CEO: Oh if I knew this would happen and mumbles

Wilson: sir

Evil CEO: What do you want

Wilson: I checked the cameras Like what you asked about Frowny Fox

Evil CEO: Did you find something?

Wilson: Seemingly Frowny Fox went to a laboratory. then he went to Records.

Wilson: I went to check the Records room.

Wilson: I discovered that he took The original papers of the Frowny Fox project ownership papers And he destroyed the backup copy But he left something out

Evil CEO: Let me see

It was a USB With files

The files were How to fix & update: the reject toys and the forgotten toys And a hair growth formula file for the CEO.

while the USB contains a film of Smiling Critters.

The movie is about There is an evil character Take control of CatNap It makes him create nightmares for children

In this adventure with Smiling Critters With children who save CatNap from the control of the evil one.

Do you remember his episode:

CATNAP is NOT a MONSTER… (Cartoon Animation)

the Scene: (2:25/8:30)

They said: the tape got all warped

so Frowny Fox make Cartoon movie.

With this movie, the people might give CatNap another chance To buy him

There is a file on how to fix CatNap gas problem.

And there too Cartoon episodes about Poppy Playtime toys

Do you remember the episode:

THE FORGOTTEN TOYS… (Cartoon Animation) The REJECT Toys… (Cartoon Animation)

y/n felt sorry for toys In the factory So y/n decided to make ever toys feel loved

Before y/n escaped from the factory, y/n did some research About toys And their problems

After y/n found problems with them and Writ a book of solutions How to fix them & update toys

the a reason that y/n made a Cartoon of Poppy Playtime toys

This is the best promotional method for the reject toys and the forgotten toys

Children will love their stories So it makes sense they will buy toys.

There is a blueprint to build it Repair machine for toys

if there was a toy It was made in bad condition like

LEGEND of KILLY WILLY… (Cartoon Animation) the Scene: 2:20/11:09 The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation) the Scene: 0:10/8:33

so y/n explained in a message

Instead of throwing them in the incinerator

Why not fix them?

the machine is called (fixesyl)

Any damaged or bad-looking toy will be repaired by (fixesyl) machine

And finally there was an envelope letter for the CEO

it says:

((If you are reading this, This means you know I'm not in your factory

I don't mind you making Frowny Fox toys But no more evil things

I wanted to know what idiot had thought of making me smell like a wet fox

this is not fair Why do the Smiling Critters have the smell of flowers or fruits while I smell like wet fox

Why didn't they give me a berry scent or Spring rain

And don't worry I will send you the second season of Cartoon Poppy Playtime toys.

After showing the First season the episodes.

And trust me when I tell you, you couldn't find me or catch me however I wouldn't mind being your business partner.

I know what you're thinking right now

I the CEO work with a reject critter, and will Maybe not reject toy anymore.

I will find a way to keep in touch with you.

I have a lot of ideas for you.

I confirm my ideas make you rich dozens of times.

But ask yourself, do you really want me to be your enemy?

So in your opinion:

A: Make me a partner does not care about his share of the profit of the business. just wants you to stop Hurt toys and people

or

B: If you think the Prototype or Player Or any other toys was worst enemys, wait and see what I capabilities of.

We both know the answer to the question

I know you will make the right choice.

note: I made a hair growth formula for you

From your friend And your future partner Frowny Fox))

Let's say Things are getting better improvement In the factory

Some were Confused & doubtful, Others were surprised But some were happy about the change

especially reject toys and forgotten toys They were really happy about the change For example CatNap is Glad he's back in the TV show With his comrades, He does not know the reason for the change But he likes it.

There were a lot of rumors about the CEO's New business partner, No one knows who they are.

And a lot of drama.

Anyway I will do something evil in my au

Do you want to know what it is?

I make the Evil CEO's relationship with Frowny Fox like a parent a With their child relationship

I can imagine the CEO As a member Of the Bad Parents Club Consisting of

(Mommy Long Legs & Daddy Long Legs)( Boxy Boo parents) (BUNZO parents) (the PROTOTYPE)

I know what you're thinking: the PROTOTYPE is not a Parent But if you saw episode:

PJ PUGAPILLAR's DARK SECRET… (Cartoon Animation)

(the Scene: 1:00/8:20)

of course the Evil CEO will deny this And he still says the evilboss only cares about money.

while Frowny Fox grin and gives him knowledge looks.

In part of the story events.

there is evil oc

An evil person Trick the CEO To have him sign the papers handing over ownership of the factory

After he kicked the CEO out of the factory.

the evil oc found a way to conquer ever toys

using Minimize gun it made big toys very small and made them lose their abilities

even The Prototype Defeated

all toys became his prisoner

he Lock them up like this cages

the Image from: The LOOKIES Get REVENGE! (Cartoon Animation)

While giving his evil speech in front of toys cages And the terrible things he will do to them But he was interrupted by one of Co-Workers.

Sir, there is a Missing toy

Evil OC: WHAT, How did this happen?

And what is the name of this toy?

the Worker: Frowny Fox one of the Smiling Critters, We couldn't find him Because he is not in the factory, sir

Hoppy Hopscotch raised her ear When she heard her friend's name

Smiling Critters know who he is Frowny Fox but Other toys do not know him

Evil OC: What that is impossible, these toys do not leave this factory, but live in it.

Wilson: you see sir, the situation With Frowny Fox is different

Evil OC: How so

Wilson: Explain the situation that Frowny Fox was The newest Smiling Critter is invented but he was rejected.

But that won't stop Frowny Fox from move forward.

And explain the rest

the Evil OC and toys were shocked When they knew that Frowny Fox was the business partner with the CEO.

the Evil OC: ordered them to catch him.

Then the Evil OC went to a meeting room With some of Workers.

Hoppy Hopscotch: Don't worry I'm sure Frowny Fox will save us.

Player: Does anyone else know who Frowny Fox is

Poppy: CatNap do know him

CatNap: Yes I know him And true I feel regret When I knew The person who Fix my reputation I treated him badly.

DogDay: no we all did treated him badly will except Hoppy

KickinChicken: we kinda ,played rough with him

Hoppy Hopscotch Shouted: you played rough with him.

you guys bully him and Didn't give him a chance Because he was different from us.

and CatNap do you remember that day When you bring Frowny Fox

The reason Frowny Fox attacked Bubba & DogDay because of they hurt him first. You didn't ask what happened And you attack him without giving him a chance to Explains the situation

The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation)(the Scene: 7:44/8:33)

What about that another time when DogDay & KickinChicke threw Frowny Fox away in the incinerator

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER (the Scene:0:55/8:17)

DogDay: It was an accident

KickinChicken: Yes, and don't forget that you were pulling His hand too And then we loss of balance Then he fell in the incinerator Then he came back in big monster and tried to kill us.

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER (the Scene: 7:12/8:17)

Bubba Bubbaphant: Since that day we have not seen him again

Mommy LL: Why am I not surprised

Boxy Boo: Wow, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't save you

Lovey Dovey: And here I thought I had a personal problem with my Twin sister

sir poops a lot:This is not acceptable to forgive you After what you did to him

Me and my comrades know how he feels Because we were rejected toys too And we were going to stay like that But thanks to Frowny Fox. he gave us another chance to be on store shelves.

Then they started quarreling with each other

Poppy: That's enough, everyone. Listen. We have to work together if you want to get out And return to our natural sizes & And regain are Our strength

Huggy: She's right, We need a plan,

while the CEO meet Frowny Fox by coincidence

the CEO immediately hugged him, And how happy he is that he found him.

Frowny Fox: What is happening In factory.

the CEO Explain how a "Evil OC" Trick him to Sign in a contract that Handing over ownership of the factory to them

to make it short: Everyone was saved and the Ownership of the factory was returned to the CEO

From that day on, some things changed in the factory

Thanks to Frowny Fox They have a Peace Treaty between Toys and Humans

But some details have not changed in the factory's life

Such as chasing or intimidating.

y/n remembers episode of:(BABY LONG LEGS Wants to Be HUMAN)

(The Scene: 3:56/11:22)& (11:15/11:22)

if Baby Long Legs can transform into a human Then back to being his toy self again

What if there was a way to help those who were transformed into toys

So y/n as Frowny Fox With some of the scientists of PlayCo.

Frowny Fox created a device Makes toys who were human Or an animal can be transformed back to themselves

the device design It could be bracelets & a Hair clip & a badge or a necklace & a ring & a watch

with this device They can turn to human self Then back to being toy self again.

So I will ask you what you think of my au idea

Of course, someone will ask if I wrote the first Chapter

Unfortunately, no Because I was busy drawing Frowny Fox

I try to improve my drawing.

But if I find some time I might be able to wrote the first Chapter

Okay, why do I feel if I opened my page the next day There would be many of you?

[9mysterybook6]

Guys, I have a great story idea

do you know Frowny Fox from GameToons?

Frowny Fox is a rejected toy of Playtime Co. and a rejected member of the Smiling Critters.

my idea is

( I reincarnated to Frowny Fox )

Listen to my idea

y/n was a teenager and a fan of Games & fan story

y/n You like video games & played (poppy playtime) before & And watch The GameToons channel.

When y/n died. they reincarnated to Frowny Fox

They were pleased Because Frowny Fox was their favorite character

My idea is to summarize the story.

After you realize that you Die and become Frowny Fox

y/n Decisions to live a happy and adventurous life

first: You tried to find out if there was a guide and Find a screen

shows you your level and your advantages

Kind of reminds you of undertale

secondly: Fix your body.

You search for a laboratory & you Find the materials to Fix Yourbody.

And you have found a shoulder bag

thirdly: Look for Frowny Fox project ownership papers And destroy the backup copy

Even if you were a rejected toy It is better to be completely free From the factory and CEO

you expected it to be difficult, But you found it easy surprisingly.

You said to yourself: Okay makes sense After all I know the law of the universe GameToons

Fourthly: Find a way out of the factory After you left a message to Hoppy Hopscotch the only and true friend to Frowny Fox

fifthly: What is your goal?

Simply You help people of all ages: like

Abuse Children

Fix parents' relationship with their children however if the parents Don't change

y/n uses the phone to call the authorities and says they are an unknown person who would like to report an Abuse Child.

After the intervention of the authorities

y/n helps find a new family for Children.

Children who are bullied or do not have self-confidence or Autistic children.

teenagers & Adults who find difficulty in their lives

People who Face Trauma & Losing someone dear to them & Mourning

y/n as Frowny Fox you listen to their stories and Help them

After you left the factory

your level up And you earned it new power

Like your bag

y/n appearance changed a little

Imagine with me a Frowny Fox wears glasses

(A note I am a person who wears glasses and I like my character to have glasses So I make y/n a person who wore glasses before they died)

OR

(I want his hair to be fluffy and soft)

Imagine this scene with me:

Frowny Fox sings at a music festival With a teenage band

Like this scene (Let It Rain | MLP: Equestria Girls)

Imagine a smoke coming out of the mouth of Frowny Fox And drying up people like Sunset Shimmer

(This is the color of the gas)

You have to admit that this is a fitting (Let It Rain | MLP)song for Frowny Fox

I have other songs that suit the story scenes, I imagine it such as:

(“Gonna Be My Day” My Little Pony: A New Generation) (Good Vibes | MLP: Equestria Girls ) (Run to Break Free | MLP: Equestria Girls) (Equestria Girls Season 2 | 'Find the Magic' Music Video) (Play (Original Broadway Cast Recording)) (Applause - Lady Gaga (Lyrics)) (Top Of The World From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile ) (Rip Up The Recipe From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile ) (Carried Away From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile) (Take A Look At Us Now From the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile) (Running Out Of Time - The Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) (Keep the beat The - Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) (Tough crowd - Motion Picture Soundtrack Vivo) ("Wake Up" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Flying Solo" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Finally Free" Clip | Julie and the Phantoms) ("Bright" | Julie and the Phantoms) (Stand Tall" Julie and the Phantoms) (Touch The Sky (Brave) Cover) (Lena Hall - The Magic Inside (I Am Just a Pony) (Aviators Remix)) (Who I Am - Lyrics | Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy) (Weightless - Lyrics | Tinkerbell and the Pirate Fairy) ("Float" from Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast) (I'll Save You - Jordan Sweeto) (Anna Blue- Where Do I Go?) (Wildside (From "Adventures in Babysitting") ( Theme Song Zendaya - Keep It Undercover) (This Is Me From "Camp Rock") (Victorious Karaoke | Freak the Freak Out) (The Greatest Showman | "Never Enough") (The Greatest Showman Cast - The Greatest Show) (The Greatest Showman | "From Now On") (Will Smith - Friend Like Me from Aladdin) (Adam Friedman - Glorious (lyrics)) (When Can I See You Again - Owl City) (Owl City, Carly Rae Jepsen - Good Time) (Post Malone, Swae Lee - Sunflower) (Song of the Sea | Lullaby) (Bubble OST Florence Mok) ((bubble) theme song Smooth but only the Bubble and Humming sounds 🎶ONE HOUR🎶) (What Else Can I Do? From "Encanto") (Lundh & Jon Becker - Tonight) (Rival & Cadmium - Seasons) (Rival & Arc North - Starlight) (Rival & Cadmium - Fight For Me) (Arensky x Marin Hoxha x Jon Becker - My Gaming Life) (Dominick Soth - Chasing) (Unknown Brain & Spce CadeX - Holding You) (Real Hypha - Getaway)

Yes, I know it's a long list of songs, Anyway

I came up with this idea after watching: REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER

My brain said to me: Do you remember fan Stories of reborn as UnderTale characters

reborn as Sans or Frisk or Undyne Or any other characters

My brain: Why don't you write a story like this About a reader reborn as Frowny Fox?

This is a thought that buzzed in my head like a bee

There are many ideas for story chapters.

Anyway

After Frowny Fox became famous.

The evil CEO ordered To catch that toy

The evil CEO asked how this happened and how Frowny Fox escaped from his factory

Evil CEO: Oh if I knew this would happen and mumbles

Wilson: sir

Evil CEO: What do you want

Wilson: I checked the cameras Like what you asked about Frowny Fox

Evil CEO: Did you find something?

Wilson: Seemingly Frowny Fox went to a laboratory. then he went to Records.

Wilson: I went to check the Records room.

Wilson: I discovered that he took The original papers of the Frowny Fox project ownership papers And he destroyed the backup copy But he left something out

Evil CEO: Let me see

It was a USB With files

The files were How to fix & update: the reject toys and the forgotten toys And a hair growth formula file for the CEO.

while the USB contains a film of Smiling Critters.

The movie is about There is an evil character Take control of CatNap It makes him create nightmares for children

In this adventure with Smiling Critters With children who save CatNap from the control of the evil one.

Do you remember his episode:

CATNAP is NOT a MONSTER… (Cartoon Animation)

the Scene: (2:25/8:30)

They said: the tape got all warped

so Frowny Fox make Cartoon movie.

With this movie, the people might give CatNap another chance To buy him

There is a file on how to fix CatNap gas problem.

And there too Cartoon episodes about Poppy Playtime toys

Do you remember the episode:

THE FORGOTTEN TOYS… (Cartoon Animation) The REJECT Toys… (Cartoon Animation)

y/n felt sorry for toys In the factory So y/n decided to make ever toys feel loved

Before y/n escaped from the factory, y/n did some research About toys And their problems

After y/n found problems with them and Writ a book of solutions How to fix them & update toys

the a reason that y/n made a Cartoon of Poppy Playtime toys

This is the best promotional method for the reject toys and the forgotten toys

Children will love their stories So it makes sense they will buy toys.

There is a blueprint to build it Repair machine for toys

if there was a toy It was made in bad condition like

LEGEND of KILLY WILLY… (Cartoon Animation) the Scene: 2:20/11:09 The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation) the Scene: 0:10/8:33

so y/n explained in a message

Instead of throwing them in the incinerator

Why not fix them?

the machine is called (fixesyl)

Any damaged or bad-looking toy will be repaired by (fixesyl) machine

And finally there was an envelope letter for the CEO

it says:

((If you are reading this, This means you know I'm not in your factory

I don't mind you making Frowny Fox toys But no more evil things

I wanted to know what idiot had thought of making me smell like a wet fox

this is not fair Why do the Smiling Critters have the smell of flowers or fruits while I smell like wet fox

Why didn't they give me a berry scent or Spring rain

And don't worry I will send you the second season of Cartoon Poppy Playtime toys.

After showing the First season the episodes.

And trust me when I tell you, you couldn't find me or catch me however I wouldn't mind being your business partner.

I know what you're thinking right now

I the CEO work with a reject critter, and will Maybe not reject toy anymore.

I will find a way to keep in touch with you.

I have a lot of ideas for you.

I confirm my ideas make you rich dozens of times.

But ask yourself, do you really want me to be your enemy?

So in your opinion:

A: Make me a partner does not care about his share of the profit of the business. just wants you to stop Hurt toys and people

or

B: If you think the Prototype or Player Or any other toys was worst enemys, wait and see what I capabilities of.

We both know the answer to the question

I know you will make the right choice.

note: I made a hair growth formula for you

From your friend And your future partner Frowny Fox))

Let's say Things are getting better improvement In the factory

Some were Confused & doubtful, Others were surprised But some were happy about the change

especially reject toys and forgotten toys They were really happy about the change For example CatNap is Glad he's back in the TV show With his comrades, He does not know the reason for the change But he likes it.

There were a lot of rumors about the CEO's New business partner, No one knows who they are.

And a lot of drama.

Anyway I will do something evil in my au

Do you want to know what it is?

I make the Evil CEO's relationship with Frowny Fox like a parent a With their child relationship

I can imagine the CEO As a member Of the Bad Parents Club Consisting of

(Mommy Long Legs & Daddy Long Legs)( Boxy Boo parents) (BUNZO parents) (the PROTOTYPE)

I know what you're thinking: the PROTOTYPE is not a Parent But if you saw episode:

PJ PUGAPILLAR's DARK SECRET… (Cartoon Animation)

(the Scene: 1:00/8:20)

of course the Evil CEO will deny this And he still says the evilboss only cares about money.

while Frowny Fox grin and gives him knowledge looks.

In part of the story events.

there is evil oc

An evil person Trick the CEO To have him sign the papers handing over ownership of the factory

After he kicked the CEO out of the factory.

the evil oc found a way to conquer ever toys

using Minimize gun it made big toys very small and made them lose their abilities

even The Prototype Defeated

all toys became his prisoner

he Lock them up like this cages

the Image from: The LOOKIES Get REVENGE! (Cartoon Animation)

While giving his evil speech in front of toys cages And the terrible things he will do to them But he was interrupted by one of Co-Workers.

Sir, there is a Missing toy

Evil OC: WHAT, How did this happen?

And what is the name of this toy?

the Worker: Frowny Fox one of the Smiling Critters, We couldn't find him Because he is not in the factory, sir

Hoppy Hopscotch raised her ear When she heard her friend's name

Smiling Critters know who he is Frowny Fox but Other toys do not know him

Evil OC: What that is impossible, these toys do not leave this factory, but live in it.

Wilson: you see sir, the situation With Frowny Fox is different

Evil OC: How so

Wilson: Explain the situation that Frowny Fox was The newest Smiling Critter is invented but he was rejected.

But that won't stop Frowny Fox from move forward.

And explain the rest

the Evil OC and toys were shocked When they knew that Frowny Fox was the business partner with the CEO.

the Evil OC: ordered them to catch him.

Then the Evil OC went to a meeting room With some of Workers.

Hoppy Hopscotch: Don't worry I'm sure Frowny Fox will save us.

Player: Does anyone else know who Frowny Fox is

Poppy: CatNap do know him

CatNap: Yes I know him And true I feel regret When I knew The person who Fix my reputation I treated him badly.

DogDay: no we all did treated him badly will except Hoppy

KickinChicken: we kinda ,played rough with him

Hoppy Hopscotch Shouted: you played rough with him.

you guys bully him and Didn't give him a chance Because he was different from us.

and CatNap do you remember that day When you bring Frowny Fox

The reason Frowny Fox attacked Bubba & DogDay because of they hurt him first. You didn't ask what happened And you attack him without giving him a chance to Explains the situation

The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation)(the Scene: 7:44/8:33)

What about that another time when DogDay & KickinChicke threw Frowny Fox away in the incinerator

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER (the Scene:0:55/8:17)

DogDay: It was an accident

KickinChicken: Yes, and don't forget that you were pulling His hand too And then we loss of balance Then he fell in the incinerator Then he came back in big monster and tried to kill us.

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER (the Scene: 7:12/8:17)

Bubba Bubbaphant: Since that day we have not seen him again

Mommy LL: Why am I not surprised

Boxy Boo: Wow, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't save you

Lovey Dovey: And here I thought I had a personal problem with my Twin sister

sir poops a lot:This is not acceptable to forgive you After what you did to him

Me and my comrades know how he feels Because we were rejected toys too And we were going to stay like that But thanks to Frowny Fox. he gave us another chance to be on store shelves.

Then they started quarreling with each other

Poppy: That's enough, everyone. Listen. We have to work together if you want to get out And return to our natural sizes & And regain are Our strength

Huggy: She's right, We need a plan,

while the CEO meet Frowny Fox by coincidence

the CEO immediately hugged him, And how happy he is that he found him.

Frowny Fox: What is happening In factory.

the CEO Explain how a "Evil OC" Trick him to Sign in a contract that Handing over ownership of the factory to them

to make it short: Everyone was saved and the Ownership of the factory was returned to the CEO

From that day on, some things changed in the factory

Thanks to Frowny Fox They have a Peace Treaty between Toys and Humans

But some details have not changed in the factory's life

Such as chasing or intimidating.

y/n remembers episode of:(BABY LONG LEGS Wants to Be HUMAN)

(The Scene: 3:56/11:22)& (11:15/11:22)

if Baby Long Legs can transform into a human Then back to being his toy self again

What if there was a way to help those who were transformed into toys

So y/n as Frowny Fox With some of the scientists of PlayCo.

Frowny Fox created a device Makes toys who were human Or an animal can be transformed back to themselves

the device design It could be bracelets & a Hair clip & a badge or a necklace & a ring & a watch

with this device They can turn to human self Then back to being toy self again.

So I will ask you what you think of my au idea

Of course, someone will ask if I wrote the first Chapter

Unfortunately, no Because I was busy drawing Frowny Fox

I try to improve my drawing.

But if I find some time I might be able to wrote the first Chapter

Okay, why do I feel if I opened my page the next day There would be many of you?

[existentialsophism]

Ok so I’m gonna post this here bc my mom is giving me the silent treatment and it might hit (maybe idk it’s very long)

Neurodivergent Ramblings

I had so much shit as a kid like being told I was off topic and absent minded and wandering around the classroom and yet somehow nobody had me evaluated for anything???? You have a master’s in child development and you never saw this coming??? You fucking moron!!! I lost friends and my grades failed because of that. I had to figure out why I was so weird on my own while I was being constantly bullied and manipulated for being different. I learned to hate myself before I even learned how to socialize. I wasn’t physically abused but the mental strain of masking and trying to pay attention in classes was so draining I almost killed myself several times once I got to college. It’s made me wonder if life is even worth living. And now I find something that works and I’m not even guaranteed that I’ll be able to continue because I’m not a cishet upper middle class white boy who will perfectly slot into the diagnostic criteria. That and all my shit overlaps and is impossible to separate. And now that I know shit is wrong with me I can’t even fucking access the shit that makes it better. Oh you mean I need someone to professionally tell me I can’t focus in class?? I FUCKING KNEW THAT HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM YOU ASSHOLES?????? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE RESOURCES THAT I CAN’T EVEN USE BECAUSE A DOCTOR DIDN’T CERTIFY THAT I’M NOT LYING ABOUT BEING DISTRESSED BY THIS????? DO I FUCKING LOOK DISTRESSED ENOUGH TO YOU??? I’M FUCKING CRYING OVER THIS AND YOU THINK I’M LYING OR SOMETHING???? I get not distributing stimulants without a diagnosis, I get it. But if the thing helps, and you’re a doctor who can control its dispersal, why don’t you just do it anyway??? I’m not even guaranteed a diagnosis because even though I have all of the symptoms it’s apparently not good enough for a self-assessment which doesn’t take into account the fact I also have autism and those two overlap/cancel each other out, which means I’m not guaranteed to get the shit I know would allow me to function like a normal fucking person.

No wonder I’ve never been able to relax, that’s an adhd thing. Even during sex or something I can’t relax, every single action is intentional because I have 15 separate thoughts at once about whether or not I’m doing enough or what I could do to make the other girl feel good too or whatever. I hate it. I want to just turn my brain off and be puppy, but I can’t. I have the autistic inability to turn my brain off and the adhd inability to relax. And it’s exhausting. I get headaches a lot from the sheer mental effort it takes to be alive. I’ve been awake for an hour and I think I’ve done more thinking than the average person does in their whole week. How lovely it would be for my mind to be quiet. Or even just for me to be able to control it. I can’t control my own mind so I try to control everything else in my life and get distressed when I can’t. I usually try to channel it into helping my friends and the people I love but I’m bad at that so it doesn’t even work.

I never really struggled academically as a kid because class wasn’t that challenging and I was privileged enough to have had a really strong foundation. That allowed me to look like I was actually able to hang in school when really I was just good at taking tests and not much else. I constantly forgot homework and materials for class even with my mom reminding me and half packing all of my stuff for me, I’d forget about projects until the night before, I’d have trouble with little details in later math classes which resulted in me not doing as well as I could have, it’s all shit that is part of adhd that not a single person thought to tie back to it. Because apparently you can only have adhd if you’re struggling in school or some shit. The autistic ability to control my actions didn’t help either since I could just mask everything “abnormal” about myself for my own mental and physical safety, which further contributed to everyone around me thinking nothing was wrong, and now everyone thinks I’m just trying to be trendy or label totally normal neurotypical experiences. Somehow they think that my suffering is just for attention or something?? Why would I choose to be like this? I hate it! It’s a disability! Why would I choose to be disabled?? I don’t get why neurotypical people think they can bully kids for being weird and then tell them everything they’ve been bullied for their entire life is normal actually. Why am I being gaslit by the entire world?

[autisticlee]

Do you have any traumatic memories that you remember from being a autistic child in school?

sorry this took so long to respond to. had it in my drafts while trying to dive into the depths of my brain to pull out specific examples so I can reply with more than just "all the bullying, teasing, harssment, misunderstandings, being forced to talk when I couldn't, adults being unhelpful and punishing me for being bullied, fake friends abusing/manipulating me, and more, was all traumatizing." fished out as many specific memories as i can....

then the tumblr app crashed and I lost everything as soon as I finished writing all the details!!! 5 hours of work gone without warning. so had to do it again 😭😭😭😭 but with less details this time because i'm TIRED and cant be bothered or remember everything I typed the first time. i'm not fixing grammar and typos this time either 😭 I wrote a proper essay last time. this time just thought chaos.

disclaimer: i'm writing this to the best of my memory. memory is bad and fuzzy and plagued with dissociation so some things might be remembered a little wrong, a bit exaggerated, or missing some pieces. I tried my best!

also, some things might be just general bullying and not specifically because i'm autistic, but I attribute all bullying to being autistic, and all experiences are enhanced by being autistic, both good and bad. plus not able to speak, ask for help, advocate for yourself, and getting ignored or punished by every adult for being a victim is probably a direct result of being autistic and seen as top different to be treated correctly.

3rd grade (age 8) had a teacher that was funny and liked making students laugh. used me as butt of her joke once day, mocking and making fun of me for not being able to talk. whole class copied her. my once favorite teacher suddenly betrayed me. sent me into a meltdown where I lost control of muscles and fell off chair to the ground and sobbed under my desk. teacher told me to stop because it's just a funny joke. sent me to the principal because I didn't stop crying.

I think 7th grade (age 12) my teacher made it his personal mission to make me talk to him. all the kids told him I dont talk but he still wasted so much time trying to make me do it. he decided I was being rude and offensive to him specifically and took it way too personally that I didn't talk to him. once day he started keeping me in the class from lunch break. trying to force me to talk to him and saying I can't go until I speak to him. sat way too close and tried to force me to make eye contact. I tried to write on a paper and he didn't even read it. he just ripped it and said I will use my words. finally he gave up and let me go to lunch. but lunch ended and I had to go back to class as soon as I got to the cafeteria so I got no food that day. don't remember how many times ge did it but ot was more than once

always got sat next to girl who absolutely hated me. made rude comments every chance she got. would glare at me in the most evil way constantly like she wanted to rip my face off. don't know what her problem was or what she wanted but made me extremely uncomfortable. look at her from corner of my eye and she was doing it even when I ws ignorkng her. if I looked towards her she'd do it even more intensely and say a rude comment. didn't know what her problem was. she seemed to hate me so much. she creeped me out. teachers for some reason always sat me next to either her or the loudest most annoying kids and other bullies. they didn't care if it made school harder for me. also teachers always made us change seats every month and that was too much for my autistic brain that hates changes. I didn't get a choice. was very hard to deal with.

in kindergarten (about age 5) i had the best seat. I was in the corner away from most of the kids, only one kid was in front of me at my table, and I sat next to a support pole that helped me block out some sensory input by blocking some of the room lights and half the classroom. some girl one day decided she wanted my seat and threw a fit. the teacher asked me if I wanted to move and I said NO. I kept saying no. I refused. when I got up and came back the teacher was moving my stuff and the girl was in my seat! I was moved to the table with the loudest and most hyper annoying kids. seated in the middle of the table so I was surrounded by them. I was so unhappy and overstimulated but the teacher didn't care. the other girl got what she wanted but I couldn't get what I needed.

many many times when making new friends, their other friends would pull them away, shove me to the ground, and tell them they're not allowed to talk to me. but my "friend" still said i'm their friend, yet didn't tell their friends to back off. they never fought against it. but when away from their friends woukd tell me we are friends and want to talk to me and play with me. so got mixed signals of being told by my new friend to follow, but getting yelled at by their friends and pushed away. they would tell teachers on me that I was following and stalking them and i'd get screamed at. was so confused because i'm told to make friends by teachers but then told to stop making friends.....???

2nd grade (age 7) one example of last one. teacher lectured me about needing to talk to kids and make friends. teacher asked one girl to let me be her friend. she let me eat lunch with her. tried to get me to play at recess with her and her friends but they didn't let me. she apologized but said we are still friends but cant play together. didn't defend me or leave her friends to play with me. still tried to be her friend though. later that week her best friend came back after being sick for a few days. the best friend was upset about me and told her friend to stop talking to me. so she told me we can't be friends anymore but I still tried. so they started lying saying shes going to a different school next year. (which was like 10 months away?) I didn't give up so they told teacher. teacher yelled at me. was confused because teacher said week before to make friends with her and now saying can't be friends with her! because she's moving away and womt be here nect year. why was everyone else allowed to be friends with her until then except me? except this girl stayed at that school for the next 6 years. she never left. years later she reached out to me again saying we were very good friends the whole time through school....but this is the only memory I have of her...????? she ignored me after that. we weren't good friends at all.

many times kids convinced me to do bad things with them in order to be their friend. naive and lonely self did it. it didn't make them be my friends. it just got me in trouble but they get away with it and we're never punished like I was! one example: crawling under bathroom stalls and locking all the doors then crawling back out. some even told on me and denied they did anything.

1st grade (age 6) we were just learning to dead but sometimes were allowed to follow along in a text book the teacher read to us. once I missed the page number and looked at the kid next to me but couldn't see the have number because his arm blocked it. do I tried to flip through the pages quietly to find the page. the teacher stopped reading, yelled at me for "playing around" and took the book saying I can't have a book anymore. I put my head down in tears and she yelled at me to look at her the whole time. after that if we were allowed to have the books and I got one she always took it away from me.....I couldn't explain my situation because I couldn't talk 

3rd grade (age 8) had a substitute teacher one day. she was very mean and strict and grumpy. seemed like she hated children. made everyone read from text book one by one going in order. at my turn kids said I don't read and they always skip me but she said I have to. spent way too long yelling at me to read and lecturing me and said we won't move on until I read and if not then everyone gets punished so kids started yelling at me to just read. I finally managed to but could only get out a whisper. whole class was very silent and sub stopped harassing me. as soon as I finished she's like "well if you aren't going to read then we will skip you" ignoring the fact I read and she even listened???? I was confused. other kids were confused. she told kid after me to read and he started the next paragraph but she stopped him and told him to read mine. he said I already did but she said do it again anyway. I struggled painfully to speak and read out loud and fought with my dyslexia all for nothing!!!  

don't remember when this was but I was pretty young so between 5-7 probably. in gym class we had to line up alphabetical order then were split in half and had to line up at the walls on either side for attendance and for the teacher to explain what we were doing and stuff like that. I was at the end of my line. the kid next to me was very annoying and nasty and loved to harass me. he'd get in my face, scoot as close to me as he could, poke me and breathe on me and touch me and say weird things. I wasn't able to talk so couldn't ask for help. i'd scoot away little at a time and try to ignore the kid but he only got worse. when I scooted too far away out of my line, the teacher yelled at me. not him. only me. he lied once that I made him scoot down the wall put of line so he never got in trouble every time after. only I did. the teacher never cared the kid was bothering and harassing me and didn't even hide that he was doing it. only I got yelled at for being harassed by this little menace

3rd grade again, in art class we have a clay ceramics day. we had to make turtles. art was my favorite class and only thing I was good at. only time kids complimented me. my turtle came out perfect. I was so proud. teacher wanted us to go show her when we finished so she could make sure we did it right and mark a grade for it. while waiting on line a kid came up and said my turtle was really good. I smiled at him as a thank you and then he intentionally slapped it out of my hands and onto the floor flat as a pancake. I was shocked and stared at it. no one noticed him do it and thought I dropped it. I panic scraped it off the floor and tried to fix it but I couldn't. there was no time to start over. the teacher came up to me and asked to see it....told me I did it wrong and didn't follow directions and gave a bad grade.....😭😭😭 but I wasn't able to tell her what happened! 

i think it was the same kid as above. for a while after snack time every day when i'd try to throw my trash away, he sat in front of the trashcan and would wait until I threw away my trash to get up and get in my face or shove me and act like I ran into him or was in his place and he'd yell at me stuff like "go away freak! dont touch me!" I was confused why I wasn't sowed to throw my trash away and started storing it under my desk and waited until later.....

being forced to perform in the school play and basically begging many times to be able to work behind the scenes and help out with things, but being disliked so much that I was forced to perform on the stage under bright hot lights and wear heavy itchy costume and even had to wear makeup that irritated my skin. had to stand on stage and move around and kept feeling hot and nauseous but wasn't allowed to sit or take a break. had to remember all the directions and be able to pay attention to what everyone else was doing to be know the queue to do my job. had to do this for audience watching and didn't want t be perceived. the stage was small and all 60 kids had to be on the stage at once at some points. I kept getting yelled at and laughed at for not saying the lines I was given or not speaking loud enough if I wa able to whisper something out, until they finally gave it to another person and made me a background filler. it didn't make sense to me why I was singled out when the other 2 quiet and awkward (and obviously autistic) kids were allowed to be the stage helpers. I guess I was autistic-ing the wrong way? there was a girl who also didnt talk ever and people often compared me to her but she wasn't forced on stage or harassed to talk all the time. don't know why it was only me.

freshman year high school (age 14) I thought I made a friend. a girl in my class kept talking to me and didn't seem to care that I didn't answer back most of the time. everyone bullied her and thought she was weird and I felt bad because i'm treated the same way so I was nice to her despite her being a bit odd and trying to convince me to do bad things with her (drinking, drugs, smoking, partying). at the end if the school year we even skipper the last peprally together because we hate how loud they are. I tried to help her out and be friendly. I let her ramble for an hour straight about her favorite manga I knew nothing about. I thought we were friends, but she didnt give me a way to keep in touch over sunmer. summer went by and the next school year started. I saw her in the hall and said hi! how was your summer? and she ignored me. figured she didn't hear. went up beside her and waved and said hi again. she turned towards me and screamed as loud as she could GET AWAY FROM ME. whole hallway stopped and got quiet. everyone stared at me like I hurt her. she and her friends walked away quickly and everyone asked what I did to her. I still to this day don't have an answer to that....never spoke to her again. ignored her existence after that.

from kindergarten to 8th grade I had a total of 4 "friends" but 2 of them were actually abusive bullies. 1 was an absolute demon. very manipulative, abusive, gaslighting, lying, etc. she got the other one to join in and harass and torment me too by threatening their friendship if she didnt join in. they would torture me then would be nice the next day and apologize or act like nothing happened. a lot of stuff happend out of school and I can't remember what happened where so I won't get into soecifics becuase it was like 10 years of this and its too much and the memory has been eroded by time and dissociation, but it was a whole mess at all times with these two, but especially worse of the two. could never win and she always tried to make my life miserable in any way she could but then would pull me back in by being the nicest person ever and repeat the cycle. the other one copied her and did the same thing, but not as intense. I cried st school most days because of them. no one cared though. they never got in trouble for anything. one started a fist fight with me once. another time she clawed my arms and face up with her long sharp nails that she admitted to growing out specifically to attack me with. I fought back both times. I got in trouble for it. she got away with her lies. everyone insisted she was so sweet and innocent and perfect and I was the problem, but she was a demon who ruined my childhood. I had no other choices but befriend some if my bullies because every adult in my life lectired and screamed at me to make friends at school, when i'm in a class of 40-50 of the same kids for 10 years straight and they all hate, avoid, and/and bully me.

the other friend I had stopped being my friend because of my horrible bully friend. I befriended a mod who had no friends and wasn't liked because at first I felt bad for him. then I realized he reminded me of my cousin who just moved away. this cousin was like my twin brother and the best friend I ever had to this day. I decided this kid was his replacement.  a few years go by and he suddenly stops talking to me and starts ignoring me. I figured it's because he's now popular and has friends. found out years later from a girl from my class that everyone knew I "had a crush on him" except me lmao. my bully friend told him and the whole class I guess I "liked" him and he didn't like it so started avoiding me. I lost my cousin replacement because that girl was jealous because SHE was the one that liked him! growing up autistic AND aroace in this situation was a confusing revelation......

I think freshman year (age 14) I had the flu really bad. I get more sick than the average person for some reason. parents forced me to go to school sick. felt so bad I had to put my head down for it to be bearable. the teacher who was lecturing hated that and kept yelling at me to stop "sleeping" but I was too sick to sleep. gave up after a while and kept my head down and ignored him. he came over and slammed my desk and it was loud and hurt. he and the other teacher in the room escorted me out to the hall. they accused me of being on drugs and tried to get me to admit to it. I kept denying so they took me to the counselor. for the next couple hours I was interrogated and not believed. they asked what "drugs" I took and I assumed they meant medicine for my flu since it was obvious I was sick with how mamy tissues i used and my constant coughing/asthma attacks but they didn't notice I guess and that wasn't good enough and kept trying to play the good guys who wanted to help if I admit to taking illegal drugs and tried to make me confess. after letting me "think about it" for an hour and I still denied when they came back they called my mom and told her to come in to tall about my drug use and she came in and told them i'm sick and took me home.

one year in high school when I had to ride the bus home from school, i'd sit in the front to try avoiding the loud chaos in the back and middle. buses were nightmares for my autism after a day of school being a nightmare. I wanted to sit alone so i put my bag and feet up on the seat. some gross creepy kid decided he wanted to sit with me to harass me. he would throw my stuff on another seat or the floor and grab my legs and move them either to the floor or put them in his lap. i'd try to scoot away from him but was always pressed against the window. he'd get as close to me as he could, put his arm around me, touch me without consent, and even tried to kiss my face. i'd push him and kick him and he didn't give up. I looked at the bus driver with pleading eyes of "help me" while pushing this freak away and driver just laughed. this went on for a while before the kid finally got bored and gave up. the driver happened to be my grandpa's best friend so he had the audacity to be offended I wouldn't talk to him. why would I talk to someone that wouldn't help me get that weirdo off me 🙄

freshman year (age 14) I had a study hall. one day some big creepy guy decided to sit next to me. me moved my stuff off the chair and desk without asking. I just wanted to do homework and take a nap. he insited on talking to me. told me he was 19, 20 in a few months and is still in high school because he was held back 2 years. I tried to ignore him but he wouldn't leave me alone. he insisted on asking me questions. normal ones at first. like name, age, favorite class, favorite color. I decided to answer a few to see if he'd leave since ignoring didn't work. after a few answers he took put a notebook and pen and started writing down my answers. that made me super uncomfortable. so I stopped answering. his questions got more personal like siblings and their names? where do I live/address? phone number? and he'd try to guess my answers and observe my face to see if he was right and make up his own answers for me. because I refused to give anything more. his questions got more invasive. he asked if I have my "v card" but I was confused. he eventually said it means am I a virgin. that made me extremely uncomfortable. he continues, asks bra size. asks what kind of underwear I wear. when I didn't answer that he said he'd just figure it out himself and stuck his disgusting hand up my skirt! I got up immediately and tried to get my sruff so I could sit somewhere else but the teacher yelled at me to sit down. dropped my stuff and went to try to tell the teacher. he told me ignore the guy and go sit back down. asked if I can go to the bathroom and he said no. so I was stuck with that creep. the teacher supervising tbe study hall was also tbe same one yelling at me for "sleeping" in his class and accusing me of using drugs because I was very sick.

(I had 21 befroe the app crashed so i'm missing a couple stories but cannot remember which ones 😭 I hate the tumblr app. it's so broken)

that's all I can remember for now. digging these up was exhausting and took way too long. Hopefully this is what you wanted anon!

I know to neurotypicals and maybe even ND allistics, possibly other autistic people as well, most of these might seem dumb and not trauma worthy at all. but when you are struggling with no help or support at all, don't know what's going on ever, can't speak to advocate for yourself, aren't ever believed or listened to when you try, etc. all these things piling up daily, one after another, becomes an ongoing trauma experience that causes life-long cptsd 😭

[fictionaladoptionpolls]

Maria Ushiromiya

Age: 9

Home: Unknown (Umineko: When They Cry)

Blood type: O

Likes: Witchcraft, Beatrice, stuffed animals

Dislikes: School, lying, Mother

Title: Witch of Origins

Maria is a lonely kid. Her father left her mom before she was born, and her mom never forgave Maria for it. Mama Ushiromiya sometimes gives Maria stuff to shut her up, and sometimes verbally and physically abuses her. Also, other kids bully her at school, partly because of how weird and immature she acts, which is in turn partially caused by how she has no friends to socialize with. It’s a vicious cycle.

This loneliness also causes other eccentricities. Let’s start with the fact that, thanks to her lacking a dad and a conversation with a priest, Maria thinks that she’s a child of God like Jesus was. She’s also interested in the occult, which lead to her learning to read English at a high school level, but also made her tendency to drown reality in fantasy way worse. She also repeats words, is tricked into helping the murderer (there’s a murderer on the island BTW), and while Maria blames her mom’s abuse on an evil witch possessing her, she fears that her mom actually wishes Maria was never born, which…yeah, kid needs therapy.

Let’s look for some positives! Um…she’s a smart cookie. Maria is bad at studying things she doesn’t care about and really doesn’t care about school, but she’s good at puzzles, English, and everything occult-adjacent. Her “uu” verbal tic is apparently supposed to be a spell for happiness, which is cute. And she actually has magic powers! I will not elaborate further.

What does Tumblr think about Maria?

Her plush lion is her best friend and she loves dark magic pls give her a home.

any time they describe one of maria's personality traits in ep1 it's just a symptom of autism. she reads very heavily as autistic, she's the autism, and it's the little details that sell it. it's very important for me. [...] i also only really like the original ryukishi sprites for her, because the others tend to make her look like she's crazy and evil when in reality she's just infodumping about her hyperfixation which is magic and witches, and she's just smug about it because she knows more than battler and the others. it's endearing and funny. she's very daughter. i love her so much. [...] she's really cute when she shows off her vast knowledge. she's like "wow guys you think i'm dumbass child? actually guess what i read THE BIBLE" as she proceeds to explain what this intricate magic circle means. which is the funniest thing but is also very interesting because the bible plays into her character in important ways. how anyone hates her is beyond me.

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko Ch1. Replay 4

The fact she calls out to her mom when she is the one person who isn't gonna figure out a calm way to deal with this hurts, ouch. Even amongst all the hatred she has for her mom she still trusts her.

This line always stuck with me because of how insane it reads on the outside. She's 9! A whole 9! She's an infant what do you mean old! I guess it shows her toxic environment meant she was never allowed to act like a child and is bitter about it.

Hurts to read this. Clearly, they want to stop Rosa's abuse but don't know how. It's easy to judge them as cowards but realistically what can they do? Yell at Rosa who will then take it out on Maria more?

Honestly living on that island seems like abuser heaven so at least Jessica's parents aren't the worst, comparatively speaking. She has very limited contact with the outside world and every exit is very tightly controlled.

Setting up the "who gave Maria the umbrella" mystery I see Kanon!

It's really hard to not read Maria as autistic me, with her taking orders very literally, her word repetition, and her hyper fixation on magic stuff. Just makes the way Rosa blames her for getting bullied and not having friends even more horrific.

Kumasawa laughing at the prank she helped pull, lol

idk battler It could be the worst day of my life but if I'm getting a 5-star meal I'm mowing that down happily

It's a bit sad how clearly Battler holds Kyrie in high regard and obviously does kind of consider her family even if he denies it considering that Kyrie fucking hates him

I am using the Umineko Project version of Umineko, and you know, the console sprites for Umineko are a lot more varied than the 07th mod would led you to believe (not that I am criticizing them, I am sure there were technical reasons as to why they had to be removed) there are some with Eva holding her unfolded fan that I didn't screen earlier too)

Nanjo going along with the script and getting jumped on by everyone lol

Wow, way to talk about your child Rosa

Oh here is the portrait I was talking about earlier, also everyone's tune immediately flip flops about the letter when they realized its beneficial to getting money lmfao

It's kinda cute how much Jessica tries to prove she really is the one who hates her parents the most when she probably has the best relationship with her parents out of the cousins

Yeah yaeh you are so mature and understanding than your cousins George, not like you are the one most willing to cut off your parents when their money or status obsession gets in the way of your goals or anything

Doesn't work as well for a game where the opponent isn't really trying to win and doesn't always do the most logical moves, does it?

Kyrie's correct though, if they had simply asked her on her terms who Beatrice is from the start (Something along the lines of who was Beatrice possessing) she probably would have answered!

Well, it's more like she realized you were the best one to get the information she wanted, but you do love her too much to consider that.

He's so fucking scared of Kyrie and he should be, to be honest! Though it's partly your fault she's like this.

This is also probably R07's way of telling you to look at the heart and not just the murder mystery!

Obviously, Natsuhi doesn't believe this because she knows Kinzo is dead, though I wonder if she thinks this was s will he left to the servants or something?

i wanna punt this man

I think Natsuhi and Jessica is probably the only parent/child relationship in the game that probably would heal itself with time... they both understand what is going wrong but aren't sure how to fix it, and I think with Jessica going out of her parent's house soon she probably would have been able to understand her mother more and makeup once they saw each other again... it makes me a bit sad to think about how the tragedy made it impossible for that to happen.

I'm already crying fuck. They are both extending their hand to the other. They are making steps towards repairing their relationship! And it's all getting destroyed!

I wonder how many times conversations like this happened in reality. Genji trying to convince Yasu to allow themselves to live their life normally but Yasu thinking that they aren't worthy of that, and feeling deeply guilty when they did interact with others...

I wonder if George has ever really tried to engage with Shannon's own interests, knowledge, and likes, instead of just assuming because she is a servant that everything he tells her is new and exciting to her

[acertainmoshke]

🧥 🍎 and 🌙 for the October ask game!

Ooh these are some good ones, thank you! I'll start with Cold Iron for this ask. And under a cut because, predictably, this got long.

🍎 apple: let’s talk about friendship in your wip. do you have any favorite friend/platonic dynamics? any friendships gone sour?

You know that scene in Leverage where Parker and Elliot are trapped in an ice cave having a deep conversation about how they have a darkness Hardison doesn't share because of who they are, what they've been through, and the things they have to be willing to do? That's basically Shakatra and Doug. By the time they meet, both are considerably more likely to kill casually and, while not exactly enjoying it, both understand it as a necessity so their better friends can be safe. Shaka introduces him to the idea of wandering deep into a rain-dripping forest and screaming at the top of your lungs, and Doug takes them to seedy bars to chill for once. Both of them are usually the most dangerous person in the room (Doug is human so of the two, Shaka is much more of a danger but compared to other humans Doug is awful fast and mean). They can both be kind of dicks in a very much not joking way, but it's refreshing that neither of them is bothered by the general grumbling, complaining, and insulting.

There WILL be some friendship drama but I'm not nearly far enough to know what it is yet.

🌙 moon: do any of your OCs have dark backstories or secrets they’re trying to keep?

Oof, does Shaka ever. This is actually my really self-indulgent darkness hit here. Not only were they an unwanted changeling child (in the early 1900's!), but their mother determined that rather than abandon them to die it was better to punish them for the loss of her real daughter. So they were abused and bullied throughout childhood, struggled as an autistic inhuman kid in school, got beat up by older brothers until they were old enough to strike back. But they stayed, even after they met Kris and understood that leaving was an option, they stayed because of their baby brother Richard. He was the only one who actually liked them, and they took care of him and protected him back.

What they're trying to hide is that they killed him.

They didn't, of course. Probably. If I really want to go dark I'll make it accidentally their fault, but as of right now what happened was he accidentally fell off the fire escape in a fight with his mother, and Shaka wasn't fast enough to save him. Both of them fell 7 stories. They weren't human, they survived with only bruises (and the general idea that they were unkillable and should test that theory as much as possible). He...did not. They ran away after that, and as of book 1 it's the only thing they haven't been fully honest with Kris about.

In later stories, they are also trying to hide who they were back at the beginning of the series as they learn to be less violent and have more compassion, they don't want to admit who they used to be.

🧥 warm coat: share a happy or fuzzy scene from your wip!

There haven't been a lot of these so far, but I'll do my best...

Ok, there haven't been any so I'm just going to write something. This takes place towards the end of the first book.

It was good to be home, but the platform seemed smaller than before. I took the stairs two at a time and spun on my bare feet at the bottom, letting my body fly into the nearest wall. The air stirred slightly and I raised my hand instinctively to catch the box of cigarettes. Kris, holding Jack on one hip, winked at me. I flicked the first one and the end sputtered into glowing life. I let myself take a long, comfortingly familiar, drag on it before flicking another one to life and placing it carefully between his lips, on the side away from where Jack snored against his shoulder. Maggie looked around and dropped Cassie's hand. Cassie, released, swayed until she almost collapsed, stumbled, and blinked up at the flickering lights. Maggie adjusted her glasses. "Think we could get some fire or something in here?" I went to share a glance with Kris, something like We've never needed one before, but he was already moving. There was a pile of paper bags in one corner with paper wrappings flung on top from all our diner meals. There may have been a trash can at the bottom of the pile at one point, but it was impossible to tell anymore. He tossed several into a small mound in a more central part of the platform, under a light. And then he threw his cigarette in the middle. Maybe it was the oil that soaked through the paper in big greasy stains, but it worked surprisingly well. Soon the fire flickered up almost to my eye level, the smoke drifting lazily up the stairs and down the street. "I'm really tired," Cassie said, yawning. She was leaning against the grubby tiled wall, in stark contrast to her blue silk gown, and tugging idly at one dark pigtail. We settled the kids into our old nook. They had enough room to burrow under the blankets until both vanished entirely. There wouldn't be room for two kids and three adults, but that was a problem for future us. The fire blazed. Warmth crept into my fingers and toes for what felt like the first time in my life. I lay my head on Kris' shoulder and he didn't pull away. He was huddling into the circle of heat and turning to ask Maggie if she wanted to try our diner tomorrow, which was definitely better than the one we met her in. I still didn't understand why this made her laugh, but things were good again and we were home and safe and actually warm and for just this moment that was all that mattered.

Tag list: @pga-books

[evergreenssystem]

It kind of bothers us to see people treat those who insist OSDID is a trauma disorder as "terfs" or to see those who insist it is not as naysayers because, and we mean this as honestly and as kindly as possible, no one fucking cares about this sort of discourse in real life.

I don't mean that medically or professionally people don't care, but rather that a diagnosis exists so that someone can receive the help and resources they need, and the only reason they would need those is if they were struggling. Many self-proclaimed endogenic systems insist they do not have trauma, therefore have no need for a diagnosis or resources given to those with severe trauma.

As a community, we know science, especially mental science, has ethics it is required to follow, which is why to test exactly how, why, and what is needed to form a dissociative disorder is unethical. That being said, there are plenty of RAMCOA/programmed systems who will sit and tell you and while there aren't papers posted on it, it is widely known, especially in Christian nationalist and human trafficking organizations, how to induce OSDID and various (mostly cluster B) personality disorders.

Hell, even someone who has never done the research but wants to start a cult can just make a system (in our experience)

Now, if we are to look at OSDID as a complex disorder stemming from PTSD (post traumatic Stress disorder), then the idea that being "mixed origin" due to experiencing stress makes no sense. Stress is inherently traumatic, though in varying amounts for different people. Autistics tend to have lower stress thresholds.

Also, many people devalue their trauma. They act like because it wasn't dramatic or fancy enough, that because it wasn't a cult or witnessing a body, it isn't "enough." This couldn't be further from the truth.

A list of things that could cause any number of traumagenic disorders:

Spanking

Employing the false parenting method of leaving a child to cry in their crib so that they will "learn." (they are incapable of such, as they are a child)

Forcing a child to spend long, unwilling periods of time by themselves

Forcing a child to sit in silence puncuated by meditative or "worship" procedures as a punishment (the Mormon church does this often)

Having an inconsistent and often negative view on a child's consistent actions (being kind one day and miserable the next etc etc)

Repeated bullying

Emotional and/or physical abuse from a person in power of the child (parents, teachers, lawmakers, other students)

Gaslighting

Enforcing body dysmorphia

A child growing up in a home where the parents hate each other and do not try to hide it or do anything about it

Religious abuse/harassment (things along the line of "if you don't follow our very vague and impossible idea of perfection, you will burn or suffer forever")

Medical neglect

Emotional neglect

Physical neglect

Sexual harrassment

Sexual assault

Rape/CSA/CSEM

Torture

Witnessing death

Cannibalism

Being forced to engage in and/or cover up a murder

Literally anything cults do

There is no precedent for how severe the trauma has to be as long as it is trauma and repeated. You will notice how a good portion of these are usually started in infancy, before memories may even form. This is often why many systems don't remember or cannot access those memories. No matter what type of amnesia, if the brain was never able to remember its trauma from the metaphorical get-go, it is unlikely it would gain the ability to do so.

If you experience plurality or dissociation, speaking to an informed trauma specialist, or even a close friend who may deal with the same thing and is educated about what is going on may help. Personally, I don't care if someone identifies as endogenic or multigenic or whatever label people come up with to excuse their trauma. One of the symptoms of this disorder is denial. I don't even encourage trying to find out the specifics of one's trauma without a strong support system. I do think self-diagnosis is a valuable tool, but like any form of diagnosis, it is designed to figure out what the problem is, so that it can be easier to manage. I also think it's unfair to call those who believe the current research on the disorder "TERFs" or "sysmeds," as being trans has no link to childhood trauma or any significant research to back up what "causes" it.

For context, the gender dysphoria argument was created sometime in the early stages of trans medicine so that doctors could determine which patients would do anything for SRS/HRT, so that they could make their prices unreasonable.

[talisidekick]

I don't think I've ever said this here but:

All my life I was called slurs like "queer", "fag", "faggot", and "tranny" despite staunchly saying I was straight and a boy and had people call me a "bitch", "prissy", "pussy", "girl", etc to insult my gender and insult my person. I'd try to be adversarial when insulted because that was the expectation: for young boys to fight. Of course, that never was my nature, so I couldn't back it up and always got the living crap beaten out of me at least once a week in highschool and it would still happen even if I backed off from the start. It was the same constant insults during the assaults too, I'm not a man, I'm a girl. I was beaten sensless in the woods behind the school by bullies I didn't recognise, left to bleed out unattended after getting hit in the face with a baseball bat, thrown off a second story balcony, kicked down a full flight of stairs so I'd roll down them and lay unconcious at the bottom (and no one stopped to help), ambushed and chased down the street getting shot at by stale paintballs (so they wouldn't explode and hurt more), had some bullies chase after me as I went home with a rope saying they were going to hang me, and had someone pin me to a desk and sexually assault me with a screwdriver just to name a few incidents. By far, not my worst, but up there. The reason? Everyone assumed I was gay and no one wanted to help me, not even the adults.

The comical part of this is the moment that I turned around to the world and said: "You know what? I agree. I am, as you put it, a "tranny fag bitch". I'm a transgender woman, I like women, enbies, and just one man in all of human existance, and I am tired about keeping that quiet and lying that that I never was this way." They turned around on me and went "You're the manliest man, everyone can tell you're a man, you'll never change that!" because the truth never mattered. They never cared if I was gay or trans or secretly a girl, I just didn't conform to their world view and because of that they wanted me dead. They legitimately tried to kill me, and let me die, because of percieved non-conformity.

They didn't teach about queer people in highschool when I went, and a part of the student body tried to openlyhurt and on occasion kill me and the rest of the student body and teacher staff stood by, watched, or pretended not to see because they felt weird about stepping in to help a POTENTIAL queer kid. I didn't conform in their eyes, and that was enough. That's all that mattered.

I see the world today, the slow walk back of progress for womens rights to bodily agency, bodily autonomy being questioned, queer protections and trans acceptance being systematically destroyed, etc. and all I can see is ... elementary school through highschool. All I can remember is the smell of iron, of my own blood, their enraged faces, their laughter at the suffering they cause. And I am beyond terrified.

They claim it's for protection of children, but I grew up living in that kind of "protection", watching it, being a victim of it. It's not protecting your kids, it's legitimizing violence and exonerating people of any age to violate other children on grounds of non-conformity. Your child will get accused of being some form of queer and abused because your kid might be a little different. Because I had ADHD, OCD, and right now, I'm looking to get confirmation I'm autistic, and they started calling me these things when I was 7 years old. I did things differently, in a way that worked for me, and that was enough to abuse me for something I never fully realized or admitted to until I was 26 years old.

It's not about protecting kids when they try to criminalize queer people, queer culture, and their access to healthcare. It's about causing harm for being different, and it won't matter if your kid is cisgender if they're suspected of being transgender. All they're doing is making convenient ammunition to target whomever they please.

If you want to know why I fight for acceptance and equality, that's why. I already know how this turns out, and it's safe for no one.

[anjukurada-fanfic-rec-blog]

I want to try and make this short, because I know that I'll go on and on for paragraphs, and I know that can be annoying... NOTE: I failed...

I am so grateful for the Good Omens series and its Queer, Gender, and Neurodiverse representation. I am a 32 year old Autistic, ADHD, Bisexual and Gender fluid individual who spent my entire life being mocked, bullied, degraded, threatened, abused and beaten simply for EXISTING. As a child, there was really very little Queer representation, and even fewer instances of Gender diverse representation. What little we had was used either as a gag/joke to poke fun at the community like "look how crazy and strange and flamboyant these people are! Haha, how strange!", or it was to fetishize and oversexualize the community. Or to demonize us. It wasn't until my late 20s when I started seeing legit, honest, normal representation for the queer community, and even then, still very little having to do with Gender diversity that wasn't mocking... Forget about seeing Neurodiverse characters that WEREN'T either the butt of a joke, used as some fucked up plot point to excuse their shit behaviour, or portrayed as some struggling genious because apparently THEY are the only ones worth making stories about...

Now, I could go on and on about all of the different Queer and Gender diverse things in Good Omens that really stood out to me and called out to me and made me happy, but there are THOUSANDS of posts everywhere pinpointing every single point that I would personally make, and I just don't have the energy to copy everything that they have said. The range of diversity, the lack of oversexualization and fetishization, the fact that queer relationships are seen as perfectly normal and AREN'T used as some center-of-attention plot point as if to say "Look, we have gays! Look how inclusive we are!" Even though part of the story focused on Nina and Maggie, it wasn't a focus on them having a same-sex attraction, and just a focus on them being 2 people who have feelings for each other. Gender queer people are just treated like anyone else, and there isn't a whole lot of focus put on them BEING DIFFERENT, and that is EXTREMELY amazing to me. Good Omens treats Queer people as just normal, every day people, no questions asked, and THAT'S WHAT WE WANT!

I will also note that I absolutely adore Crowley as being rather Gender Fluid and just not giving a shit, because that's what I aspire to be. I wish I had that demon's confidence!

All that being said, I want to focus a bit on something that truly helped me and made me feel valid and that has helped me accept my own quirks, and that is the Neurodiverse representation of the main characters. Before anyone comes at me, I am aware that they are not human and do not suffer from human neurological disorders, but that does not stop them from PRESENTING with certain aspects of said disorders, and that's what matters to me.

Being both Autistic and ADHD, I experience a pretty solid mix of both Aziraphale's and Crowley's quirks. These are things that I have been severely bullied for, mocked relentlessly, called horrible things for. And it has scarred me, and it has changed the way I hold myself on a daily basis. I have learned to Mask from a very young age to help protect myself from all of that, but even then, it never truly saved me. Only in the last few years have I actively been trying to accept my quirks for what they are, after YEARS of my husband telling me it was okay to Unmask, to speak the way I want, to make my "odd noises", to openly stim because he loves SEEING my emotions. It wasn't until I noticed my son (now 6) stimming and showing signs of neurodivergence that I started doing the same, because I want him to see that it is okay and normal and acceptable to do so.

Neil says here that he didn't look at Good Omens as being a theraputic tool, and I'm certain that a lot of people could tell him their stories of how his show has healed them or helped them cope with life. And I just want to add mine to the mix...

The way that Crowley and Aziraphale act is very identical to the way that I act, unmasked.

All of Crowley's vocal stims, the squeaks, grunts, whines, drawn out words, just the noises he makes instead of/before saying something is EXACTLY what I do, and it is something I have been SEVERELY bullied for. Called slow, the r-slur, stupid. I've been told that the sounds I make are annoying, "why do you keep making those sounds when you talk?", telling me I need to shut up, be quiet. The exaggerated facial expressions that he makes (that even some of the fandom makes fun of him for) are similar to what I do because I do not focus on "keeping my face straight" when talking, thinking, or working. I've been bullied for "making stupid faces" for years, and as an adult, I am always overly concious of how my face is moving when talking to others, even though I can't help it. The way he walks, the way he sits, the way he thinks and processes, and I swear to goodness he has Auditory Processing issues which I can truly relate to, lol.

All of Aziraphales small squeaks, the way he fumbles his words when he is nervous, the way he speaks with his whole body. His hand waving/hand flapping when he is excited,the way he just NEEDS TO RELEASE THAT HAPPY ENERGY. Even when he's anxious, the way he fidgets with his ring, wrings his hands, fidgets with his clothes. The way he wiggles, the way be bounces on his feet, his facial expressions. The amount of times I have been bullied, degraded, ATTACKED for these things would shock you... Good lord, the way he reacts when things do not go his way, when his plans are ruined. His very rigid Black/White, Right/Wrong thinking and near inability to see or comprehend the shades of grey. The way his desire for Justice and equality battles with his Black/White thinking and how hard it is to cope with that, especially in the beginning.

I suffered all my life because of the things that these characters do. The voices of those people, those mocking, degrading, threatening words still eat at me, and I am still afraid to unmask in most situations. But recently... Recently, I've noticed a very important change. When I catch myself vocal stimming, when I catch myself losing my train of thought due to the thousands of rampant thoughts in my head, when I catch myself being very bodily stimmy and fidgety, or just being strange, and those voices start to invade my mind, I've realized that those voices are more often being drowned out by mental clips from the show of either Zira or Crowley doing the exact same thing. My mind will give me a clip the pertains to what I've caught myself doing, as if to say "Look, he does it, too." When I catch myself making those whining, drawn out noises when trying to answer a question, I rarely get self-counscious anymore. Now, I tell myself that I am being rather Crowley-esque today, and I can smile about it. When I get embarrassed by my bodily stims when explaining something I'm very passionate about, and I feel myself start to shut down and stop, I remember how animated Aziraphale is when he is excited, and I remind myself that he does it, too, and it's acceptable for him, so it is for me as well.

And then to see the fandom accept these things, cherish these things, it makes me so happy.

So, I know that wasn't the intention, and I know that Neil didn't create this show to be theraputic, but I think that it is very important to know the impact that his work has on different people who views it. It is helping to undo a whole lifetime of pain and fear and trauma centered around the way I act, and it is allowing me to show my own Neurodivergent child that it is okay to do it as well. I don't believe he'll read this, but if he does, I just want to thank Neil (and Terry) from the bottom of my heart for creating this show and giving so many people a safe place to feel accepted and validated.

As a mental health provider working with Gender Diverse teens and adults, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Good Omens TV series. It's more meaningful than just representation, although that alone has made such a difference. The varied ways all of the characters interface with gender presentation and identity have proven to be such a useful tool to help people talk about and explore what these things mean to them, and to find their way to a more comfortable and authentic understanding of themselves.

It's effective in a way reality isn't, because it's so openly permissive of experimentation and change. So many of my clients feel enormous pressure to "get it right" the first time when trying out new gender expressions. Whether it be a name, pronouns, clothing style, haircut, etc. so many folks are too intimidated to make any moves toward their own comfort for fear they'll "get it wrong" and be seen as somehow less valid if they decide it didn't work for them as well as they initially thought. I love how all of the eldrich beings - but especially Crowley - make changes to their presentation over time or between earth and their respective head offices. And no-one bats an eye. No one even comments on it, they just automatically accept roll with it. That is so monumental and permission-granting for my clients!

So thank you, so very much!!

…also… as a fan and a therapist I would give anything for the opportunity to do couples counseling for Aziraphale and Crowley! This isn't a request or anything, it obviously doesn't fit in-universe. I just giggle every time it crosses my mind.

Much love to you for all your work! (I also adore your novels and short stories. )

I’m so glad. I hadn’t thought of Good Omens as a therapeutic tool.

[proendovents]

I can't tell if I'm a system or not. I have very little memory of my childhood and life in general, but I don't think I have any amnesia because I would notice if I was just somewhere and I didn't remember the last few minutes/hours/however long it would be, and people would point it out if I just completely changed how I was acting all the time. I have these fake personalities/things that I know aren't really normal but I don't think they could be alters, I still have a lot of control over myself and I'm still conscious and stuff but it's not really me, my thoughts don't exactly feel like me or when they do they way I'm acting doesn't go with it but nobody notices the difference so idk. And most systems I see are bodily adults and I'm not (I don't like sharing my age online even on anon but under 16) and I wouldn't say my parents are bad just weren't prepared for the idea of their child being autistic or trans or anything else I am and I don't know if my childhood would be considered traumatic or not partly because I don't fucking remember most of it so how can I know if I can't remember it and also I do know I was bullied and excluded a lot (like especially from year 3-7 then I started being homeschooled and am still preparing to go back to regular school because my parents can't teach while working full time and knowing nothing about the subjects they need to teach) and a lot of things autism related but not actual abuse from my parents which I know is where most childdhood trauma is supposed to come from right. I think that's why I never tried to look into it but now with finding out more about endo systems AAAHHHHHhh. Idk I'm just trying to fucking live.

And even tho I don't think I have amnesia I do have some level of memory issues like I can't remember if something was a week ago or two weeks ago and sometimes will think of something that happened a few hours ago as a few minutes ago but then I remember a lot of what's in between that like I remember the last few days/hours but that event was still a few minutes ago in my head a few hours later or a month ago in my head only a week later idk if that makes any sense

sorry for the lack of punctuation/grammar I just needed to ramble

It sounds very confusing, I’m sorry this’s happening!

[chartreuseschaos]

Dear Dad

Thanks to you I have no idea what it feels like to have a father, because you decided to leave when I was a baby. My mom cut your face out of all the pictures so I had no idea what you looked like for a long time. When I was a little older, you'd try to visit, but my mom forced me to hide in the hallway with her and pretend no one was home. My mom tried to instill fear, she said that you were abusive and unreliable because of your mental illnesses. I remember visiting you in prison once as a child, I think that might have been the first time I ever saw you actually, I said bye daddy as I left because I felt forced to do so, but I think it made you happy at least. Around my early-mid teens you were suddenly there, in the flesh, visiting me, giving me gifts, but it all felt empty and surreal because you were a stranger to me. Having my mom go from forbidding me to even see your face, to nonchalantly have you over for a visit is extremely confusing. Within that time period, I really wanted to go see Rammstein in concert but my mom didn't have money for the trip, so she told me to ask you, I told her I didn't want to do that, but she insisted it would be okay, so I did and we did have that trip, but low and behold years later you used it as excuse to get mad at me over, insisting that I was a leech, when it wasn't even my idea. You also got mad at me for never visiting you, and on my 18th birthday you send me a petty card expressing this, which I happened to read out loud to the family, as we do, do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me that day? I spend my entire birthday crying in my bed, boiling with mindnumbing rage. One father's day a couple years ago, I tried to find you a present in the store and planned to visit you, to try and rectify our relationship. I walked through the aisles at least 3 times and realized I had no idea what you liked, and decided not to go through with my plans at all. Sometimes I do wish I could just talk to you. I could explain that I am autistic and struggle interpersonally, communicatively, and emotionally, and that I wasn't nearly as self aware as a teen as I am now. Despite my own shortcomings, it was still really unfair of your to expect me to just treat you like my dad when you never showed me what a father was supposed to be. It was unrealistic of you to assume that we could begin any type of relationship, without you apologizing and explaining first. You don't even know that I am a different gender than you thought. I don't know how you will react to any part of me, because I don't know you, and that's what scares me, not your mental illnesses. In fact I think we have some of them in common and it would be nice to talk about them. I can understand how frustrating this whole situation must be for you, but I do think you made a lot of poor and unfair choices. You can't just leave your child alone for 14 years and then return as if nothing happened. I was overwhelmed and disoriented. I didn't know what I was supposed to do in this situation. Not to mention the other stuff I was dealing with. Depression, bullying, high levels of stress, an unstable and unsafe home environment which yes, you did contribute to, by bashing our window in once, because I quote, you wanted to sleep over, you know we have a doorbell right? And yeah, my mom had tons more of those types of boyfriends over weekly. I was, and still am deeply traumatized by all of what has happened to me, stuff which I would be too long and too gruesome to get into right now. I grew detached from reality, and parts of me that were supposed to form just didn't, like my ability to form attachments to other people, my emotional capacity, my trust. I am a hollow broken shell of a person, and you had a part in that too. So congratulations to you, happy Father's Day.