#like. i am BARELY paraphrasing

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

there's a lot of different reasons i love overture, but honestly i think my favourite has to be the fact that this entire story, desire is the only one trying to save the universe, all their other siblings are being totally useless, but unfortunately they're stuck in a time loop of watching dream argue with himself about pronouns

[technicalthinker]

rewatching doma arc and it has it's fair share of problems with the story overall like I get it but the fact remains that the arc gave yami yugi, jonouchi and kaiba all each a villain counterpart to have a homoerotic storyline with. completely uncalled for but they keep bringing it up throughout the season unprompted.

[belovedblabber]

Listen, I love movie! Aragorn, I really do. But book! Aragron wins out for me by virtue of being objectively more of a fucking weirdo

[crunchycrystals]

watching the "ian misses the old smosh" sketch and killing everyone in the comments with my mind

[knight-intraining]

You know now that I've graduated and am a teacher myself. There are definitely a couple of professors that I want to email and be like dude, what the fuck was that?

[rackartyg]

therapist: how are you doing?

me: worse

her: what are you doing to feel not-even-worse?

me: this and this and that

her: hmm yes those are all the correct things

me: i still feel bad though

her: sometimes that’s just how it be

[songofwizardry]

r/ukvisa is a treasure trove of useful info and experience and has saved me so many times by digging up home office policies buried on the website that could get a visa rejected but boy does it not take a lot for several people on that sub to throw disabled people/"illegal" immigrants/asylum seekers/the entire concept of taxation and socialised healthcare/etc under the bus

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

HERE IS WHY VIKTOR WALKED AWAY FROM JAYCE AFTER HE SAVED HIM AND WHY WE DIDN'T GET A DRAWN OUT DIVORCE!

(spoilers. Duh.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

short answer: It's because Viktor's dead.

Long answer:

So Arcane is all about people changing right? The first season was rife with the idea that if you want to become who you're meant to be you have to kill off your old self. (I'm paraphrasing here, and poorly, just REMEBER jinx's arc throughout the first SZN ok, powder had to die for jinx to live.)

In the show so far, we know arcane takes the idea of this change and charcter "death" very seriously. Ergo in that opening scene of s2e1 when Jayce sees Viktor crushed under the rubble and barely breathing Viktor is, for all the show's intents and purposes, dead.

This is where you may be shouting, NO BUT JAYCE RESSURECTED HIM! and listen I agree with you, Jayce physically resurrected Viktor, yes, but what came out of that cocoon is not Viktor. Lemme explain.

Arcane doesn't do ressurection, period, the show is about dying and changing, nobody stays the same, and if you die you come back different, unrecognizable even. (Jinx, Silco, Vander as Warwick) Singed is the only character who tries to keep things the same, preserve them, and those thing he has preserved have either been changed spectacularly anyway (jinx, Warwick/Vander) or they are Inert (Rio).

So when Jayce lays Viktor down on the lab table and he's all rekt, he is dead, like even if he's breathing Viktor is functionally dead, with no magical or medical intervention he will die/has died. (I have a bone to pick here a bit with the fact that Jayce didn't take him to a hospital. Maybe it was because of the glowy appendages but I doubt it. Which leads me to assume that Viktor's injuries were beyond medical treatment meaning, once again, that he's basically dead. )

Ergo when Jayce explicitly goes against Viktor's wishes to destroy the hexcore and instead fuses it into Viktor. What comes out of that cocoon isn't Viktor anymore.

Viktor says it himself when he walks out of the cocoon he asks " what am I?" And he says something like " I died/I should be dead." While it's subtle I think we, the audience, are meant to take this very LITTERALLY.

Even while Jayce is exclaiming that he" is alive" Viktor is very sure that he isn't, that he's dead and changed. (Hella bummed he didn't get a pretty arc for this change but I guess theyre counting S1 as his arc? Anyway)

There is very important moment I want to draw your attention to here, when Jayce embraces Viktor, in joy, and Viktor slowly returns the embrace one armed and leans into Jayce, he doesn't close his eyes. (I know this sounds crazy bare with me) What I'm positing here is that this is the first inkling that Viktor is gone because he doesn't accept what Jayce is telling/giving him.

Essentially in that reunion scene, imma call it a reunion, Jayce is giving Viktor everything he wanted, their dream, their partnership, Jayce's love and attention. (don't argue with me on this Viktor is s1 wanted both even it was unsaid) And Viktor refuses all of it, he doesn't accept Jayce's affection, he doesn't close his eyes when they embrace! closing his eyes, sinking into that hug would have been acceptance, it would have been the moment that Viktor, actual Viktor, had been waiting for. (and boy had he been waiting).

But what walked/crawled/clawed their way out of that cocoon isn't Viktor. Instead it's Viktor's body and whatever impression of Viktor, or maybe parts of his soul, he gave up/lost to the Hexcore.

I think the hexcore has, very litterally, become Viktor, like Jayce basically sacrificed Viktor's body to give the thing life and now it's wearing Viktor's face and has these remnants of his memories. I believe this because it also has Skye's voice!

The hexcore didn't have a voice before, it was like a weird murmuring hum, and Viktor couldn't understand it. But now whatever parts are left of Viktor and Skye have amalgamated into the hexcore and their good intentions/idealism are functioning to guide this newly born hexcore/machine herald. (That would explain why it leaves Jayce, it has the memories of Viktor's love but not the actual emotion, it would explain why it returns to the undercity, because it has memories of that place as "home" from both Vik and Skye, and it would also explain why the MH will eventually wear a mask, because it's not Viktor, it just has his face.)

So it makes sense when the machine herald leaves Jayce after that confession and offer, because it's not Viktor anymore. Viktor is dead and Jayce failed to save him.

Anyway, hope that cleared it up for you, of course THIS IS JUST A THEORY! AN ARCANE THEORY (I couldn't help myself)

A/N, this explanation isnt meant to, like, invalidate any complaints that the Divorce arc was too rushed/fast/thrown aside. Because in a lot of ways I think it was!

This also isn't to say that this explanation I give above is the perferred way to tell Viktor's story! Because I don't think it was! In many ways by killing Viktor and making him like, the human conduit for the hexcore, they have taken away 99% of Viktor's autonomy as a character. His choices are no longer his own, his actions are tainted by this corrupting force, he (if he is even alive) no longer is himself. This victimizes Viktor in a way I don't love but also draws away from his very valid and real pain and anger.

In the machine herald lore in LoL we have these ideas of transhumanism, self reinvention, and at its core, a guy who, pushed to his limits, turned his back on Pilotover and let his own hubris lead him to committing atrocious acts.

In LoL, Viktor becomes a monster, he chooses to be the machine herald, he meticulously replaces/removes parts of himself so he can become closer and closer to what he views as the " perfect machine". His glorious evolution surrounds this idea, that humanity is inherently weak and that the only way to overcome that weakness is to surrender to the machine, to evolve.

Arcane Viktor is not getting this Arc, whatever way they try to twist the magic they gave him he's not going to get this level of revenge or autonomy, he just isn't. His purpose is likely not going to be anywhere near as strong because like I said up top Viktor's a dead man. And he isn't getting to make choices anymore.

I'll end this post here before it gets unbearably long but feel free to pop off in the reblogs, tags, and comments lads!

Love Arcane too bits and can't wait for Act 2! JAYVIK NATION RISE!

[doublel27]

I thought joong was straight? He is quite into dunk lips but beyond that i thought straight. I don't even read him as bi?

Look, I neither actually know nor care what Joong’s sexual orientation is. That’s between him and whomever he chooses to tell. And most of my Joong knowledge is adjacent to my knowledge of FKT, AouBoom, EarthMix and DaouOffroad because he’s close with all of them. I more know of him then know him, so I could be missing stuff.

I would say, in regards to your ask, Joong doesn’t appear to have the painful knowing that often comes along with growing up queer in a society that doesn’t want you to be that a lot of other queer people use as a tell to identify each other. The thing that makes us, as queer folx, hesitate or get shy when it comes to things straight people wouldn’t think twice of. And while I do use that in my analysis sometimes, I also know members of Gen Z across the world actively work to resist that shyness and that shame that comes with internalized homophobia and honestly the real-world consequences that can come from being proudly out.

What I do know is he is 1000% into the fanservice portion of his job. Now either it’s his job and he’s having the best time being gay for pay, its his job and he’s excellent at pretending to have the best time pretending to be gay, or he is just shamelessly queer and has said fuck the knowing.

This man is out here yelling into full concert audiences “where is my teerak” and when the audience yells back saying SHHH! he didn’t ask for them, he asked for Teerak! He’s hugging and kissing Dunk at every opportunity and posting various shots of Dunk’s bare waist in crop tops during this THK filming area. He strikes me as the kind of man who reads the RPF about himself. In The Heart Killers book fair panel this past week, he talked about his love of reading BL novels and imaging himself and Dunk in the lead roles. Take that for what you will.

He also expressly stated in an interview alongside Dunk this week that he insisted on being paired with a partner the same height as him. Specifically stating, he thinks it’s a stereotype that one member of an imagined pair/branded couple is always bigger than the other and he didn’t want to lean into it. He wanted to go against that narrative.

As @firstkanaphans and @respectthepetty pointed out, he has a shit ton of queer friends and has close relationships with the members of GMM that are most likely to be clocked as queer (whether they are or not is also not expressly public knowledge and some folx that people clock as gay are straight because femme isn’t exclusive to gay men) Which again, either he’s the most down for the cause straight dude that exists or he’s also queer. My stance is considering he and Daou talk about how close they were to starving trying to make their first shot at being idols happen, I hope they’re having the best time in Thai BL fanservice land being shameless and getting that money.

To end, let me paraphrase my beloved Kit Harrington: to believe you can tell the level of queerness someone embodies just by looking at them or listening to their voice or looking at their hobbies, you’ve missed the entire part of Heartstopper.

Which is why I keep all my speculating to mostly private convos and tumblr where I can pretend celebrities don’t live because we’re all mostly anonymous on here and this site is hell to search. Don’t @ folx on Twitter or on their IGs or their TikToks. Don’t try and out people with YouTube videos. Let the Schrödinger’s Gays enjoy their boxes.

I know I have other anons (I see you. I am maybe coming soon) but this required less work on my end to compile my answers.

[mullty]

-Spoilers for Call of Duty Black Ops 6 Ahead.-

Bro I literally teared up. I am honestly only playing for the character that is Frank Woods. I grew up with Alex Mason and his story and recently I've gotten back into it as an adult. I love the arc we have sort've been on with Alex and Frank. They are so special to me and I could go on forever about them- but enough about me-

So Far there are two moments that I've just loved and been incredibly sad at. The shorter one, that you will probably barely notice, is when we are back at the mansion-manor?, home? house?-

We, as Case, are next to my new favorite person maybe ever Felix. The rest are near a fire they have and before Adler radios in with bad news, you hear the end of a funny memory Frank is sharing with the team.

So far, I have felt that even though we have the same Frank Woods, he is a very obviously subdued version of him. It's felt like... I don't know. Do you know when you're pretending you are normal and cracking jokes but you're so exhausted and you'd rather not say anything but you don't want anyone to ask you anything. I do think he's like making an effort but this whole situation starts off with Adler who we later learn is the one being blamed for Frank's "Condition" and the deaths of Alex Mason and Jason Hudson. I wouldn't want to be reminded of that dang mission ever in my life but suddenly Adler is back into the mix and suddenly it's all about Panama and Mason and who Frank once was- and I think it's a lot for him. He's older. He can't fight. He can't move as he once did. Now, he has people he is mentoring. He's staying back while they go. He had built a wall around these people because this isn't forever and he didn't owe them a sob story. Anyway- so yeah it's a big deal that he's sharing a story with them because it's a story about Alex. It's not confirmed but all we hear is something in the realm of (I'm paraphrasing)

"Yeah, we are in D.C. now- Not Alaska." Which prompts a laugh from the people there.

Now. Let's put on our thinking caps on and try to remember who in the game is canonically Alaskan.

ALEX MASON. HE'S TELLING THEM ABOUT ALEX AND A FUNNY STORY ABOUT HIM. BECAUSE FRANK KNEW HIM. FRANK KNEW HIM AND KNEW ALL SIDES OF HIM and Alex wasn't just some coworker that survived getting brainwashed and was basically the best soldier there ever was.

Alex was his best friend. They mention it multiple times in the story.

Frank lost his Best Friend. Most of all, he feels it was his fault because he pulled the trigger.

He let his walls down and he's letting these people in to know someone so important to him.

The next moment is when we go up to talk to him and ask how he's doing. I think there is a visible change in him. He feels lighter.

He talks about enjoying the "thing they have going on." They don't take orders from anyone and they're kind of their own paramilitary group in a way. No hidden agendas just stopping the bad guys. and Case responds with, "You don't have to go back to Langley."

And why would he want to go back there let's be honest.

And THEN HE RESPONDS WITH "I haven't told anyone this but with Mason gone, I wanna look after his boy... Bring him up."

And what had me in this scene isn't that he is going to raise David, We know he ends up doing that.

BUT how much Frank has come to terms with letting go.

Frank obviously to some degree enjoyed his job. I don't know how long he did it for but, he is still involved back at the C.I.A so we can see that he didn't want to be left out completely.

And he gets a taste of that back.

He has found something that works for him and allows him to continue on this path. But. BUT.

"With Mason gone, I wanna look after his boy."

He's going to leave it behind for David and Alex.

He's not going to leave David alone. ALEX WENT BACK TO THAT LIFE despite having PROMISED his son that he was done. because of frank. Frank needed him and Alex saved him.

A lot of fans point at Frank and Alex and say Gay lovers.

and like yeah what about it.

But also I think what the writers are going for is the most devasting option is that these guys are Best Friends and that's so much worse.

Idk if any of ya'll ever had a best friend, but there are moments when you question if God made them just for you.

Because the closeness you feel in your soul and the Love that is the same Love and Loyalty you reserve only for Family outpours to them as well. And they aren't family but they're someone who knows the most inner parts of you. A best friend is someone who loves you back just the same.

I honestly believe that there was nothing Frank could've ever done that would've turned Alex away from him. Frank was blinded by revenge and accidentally killed an innocent girl, but Alex remained by his side.

It just killed me because Frank could've kept going, Idk if he retires after COD 6 something tells me he does, but he doesn't.

David needs him. He needs to keep Alex's memory alive and I personally headcannon that Frank mentions Alex all the time. Like it's rare if you don't hear about Frank's best friend Alex in a whole week because that was Frank's best friend and he was a Badass.

Anyways there might've been more for me to say but it's late .

(Excuse typos and anytime I type in caps it's because I'm yelling.)

[crimeronan]

Darius is so fucking funny in that fic, PLEASE. I am OBSESSED with Hunter being like, "Hey, can you fuck off and die? I'm nine years old," and Darius trying not to lose his shit over it. 10/10 no notes. I can DEFINITELY see how Hunter ended up so much more ornery in this AU than he is in the canon.

LMAO. i'm so glad you guys are enjoying the darius content. he's a shithead but he is, like, trying. in the most aggrieved and put-upon way possible.

also i would like people who haven't read it yet to know that this is like. barely paraphrasing:

there's a LOT packed in here about everything that caused hunter to become the way he is ten years down the line.... most of it is Deeply Tragique, but. him being such a bitch simply because darius is a bitch & hunter likes him so much.... Eternally Hilarious. i do love it forever. thank you.

[autistic-crunchwrap]

I watched all of The Bear Season 3 and I have so many thoughts... SPOILERS BELOW

TL;WR: It was not all bad... There were high points and low points for sure, and I did enjoy the high points! but the stress and chaos this season brought was not worth the few and far between moments of goodness we saw.

First, the good:

Liza Colón-Zayas. Oh my god. A true standout, as always. If her episode doesn’t win her an Emmy, I will be fucking furious. Ayo also deserves an Emmy for directing that episode. Every second of the episode was beautiful and moving and added significantly to the overall plot and character development of the show (as every episode of a 10-episode season show should… but more on that later)

Abby Elliot, I love you. I am a Nat Berzatto stan through and through. Ice Chips was my favorite episode of the season. AE’s chemistry with Jamie Lee Curtis is unmatched. I was so genuinely touched by this episode. This episode was family therapy for me, I think. Thank you Abby Elliot, very cool.

Richie gets some great family time with his daughter and Tiff this season, and it’s genuinely so good to see him continue to grow and support his family even when it’s really hard for him. I see how hard he’s trying and I love him for it.

Ted Fak gave some really great energy that really worked this season. Him and Neil were consistently funny and entertaining to watch. I enjoyed their bit about haunting that came up several times throughout the season

JOHN FUCKING CENA being a Fak was an INSANE choice but I loved it. This show has gone off the rails and goddamn it I need more John Cena immediately

Joel McHale is back and as bitchy as ever! I love the havoc he wreaks on Carmy. His line from episode 10, “I don’t think about you” (paraphrasing, I’m not going back to watch it for the exact quote) made me gasp watching it. If Carmy wasn't such a prick, I would feel bad, but Season 3 Carmy deserves the shit Chef David deals him.

Olivia Coleman. That is all.

"You can go fuck" is my favorite Bear quote, especially when Nat says it

Always happy to see Will Poulter as Luca. His lil mullet is adorable and I love him. I hope he and Syd connect even more in Season 4

Pete asking Syd if different foods make different levels of noise was the funniest bit the whole season. Protect Pete at all costs.

Now for the bad…

Where’s the fucking character development??? Carmy and Syd in particular felt very stuck this season. The whole season is very stuck in the past and pays a lot of lip service to 'working through your shit'... but no one ever works through their shit this season (save for Richie, sort of) and it annoyed the hell out of me.

The whole first episode felt like a waste of time. Almost no narrative development, 20+ minutes of montage and fancy shots of cooking? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the food porn in The Bear. I live for that shit. But the narrative went NO WHERE in Episode 1 because of how much fancy cooking footage was there instead. Gurl, get on with it. I’m bored.

There are several secrets being kept this season. Syd being offered another (possibly better) position and never talking to Carmy about it, Cicero not telling Carmy that he's now broke and can't help pay for the restaurant anymore, and the details of the restaurant review being kept a secret from the audience (and the characters) for most of the season. And like, we just never really get any payoff from it?? We barely see the restaurant review at the end, Syd doesn't tell Carmy about the other job, and Cicero doesn't tell Carmy about being broke. We ended the season where we started. Re: a waste of time!

Another waste of time was the slight of hand/magic trick theme thing they tried to do but didn't fully develop. I was confused as to what the point of all that was, but it was never fully resolved. Don't give me that 'to be continued' shit because you didn't tie up your loose ends this season. I know bad writing when I see it.

Cicero was especially difficult to watch this season. More antagonistic than usual (which, fair, The Bear is a very expensive shitshow) but it makes a big deal about saying he wishes he would've shown up for the Berzatto kids more, but for what purpose? He says this twice, only for it to be revealed to the audience that he's basically lying to Carmy about having money. Bad writing makes this character more scummy than I think he needs to be.

The Claire subplot went absolutely nowhere this season. I think the only time we actually see Claire in present day (and not just in Carmy's blue-tinted 'Supercut' by Lorde memories of her...) is when Neil and Ted Fak are fucking with her at work about Carmy. She was a major trigger point for Carmy this season, but he never does anything to make amends to her, which I found strange considering there's a WHOLE EPISODE about Carmy "considering apologizing." Shut the fuck up. Apologize to her or don't, but she is not haunting you, Carmen. Goddamn.

Speaking of Carmy never apologizing, this season is SO full of callbacks to previous seasons and makes such specific references that the audience is expected to remember, but there are giant plot holes and references that are all but forgotten. The "I'm sorry" sign that Carmy taught Syd to do on the line when they're upset at each other is never brought up once this season, which feels lazy. Carmy did that sign when he was being an asshole last season, and it felt like that was missing. Also, some of the motifs this season just didn't make sense to me.

Finally, Carmen Berzattto is a grade-A asshole the whole season. Like, just a massive prick with no character development, no arc, no interest in healing or working through his shit or connecting with other human beings in really anyway, and honestly? He was antagonistic and demanding and harsh in a way we've never see him before, and I don't think it was for the better. I understand that it's because he's lost this humility and is turning into Chef David, which is the worst thing in the world to Carmy, but he shows 0 remorse for being an asshole this season. Him 'not being able to say sorry' isn't a good enough excuse for how truly grating his character was the entire season. I didn't enjoy watching him on screen. My favorite moments this season were the ones where Carmy was no where to be found. I loved Carmy in Seasons 1 and 2, but I wanted nothing to do with him this season. That's just bad writing.

PHEW, that was a lot! Okay my loves, thanks for sticking through all that. Please let me know your thoughts and hot takes too!! Anyway, stan Natalie Berzatto, and pick up some fucking C-folds, yeah?

[just-orbiting-you]

hi:) totally agree with your post. I guess I don’t understand why Tae posts what he does, when he does. It always seems semi calculated. He can’t *not* know that a lot of his fans are tkkrs. He even reposted something on his IG from a massive tkkr account, like? And it just always seems to divert the tkkrs attention back to him and jk in very calculated ways. Posting a travel pic and long caption just before the jikook travel show teaser is pretty on the nose lol. but I don’t understand, also he gets to have his nice time with his (was?) girlfriend and then also feeds the tkkrs(& of course gets jm hate in the process) the best of both worlds for him? strange.

hey anon!

i've had feelings about this for a long time. and i think you're exactly right: he has to be aware of his fan-base's preferences. of course this is just a theoretical idea but i think the conversation is worth having.

and going back to in the soop one, when he is talking to jungkook, tae says that he wants to know army loves him, he craves it (paraphrase). i would like to hazard a guess that he has searched for what will give him the exact attention he wants, and that is posting about jungkook.

i thought the shirtless facetime call pic was weird to post to back in december, with the caption "hyung is going in first, go safely tomorrow." jimin went too, you know, but no post for him. and taehyung playing the hyung card feels abnormal; i have not really witnessed that as a part of their dynamic. all of this to almost drift the conversation away from jikook enlisting together.

and OH MY GOD. the caption over jungkook's face today that says "so pretty i could die." that is like a t@ekook victory for them, but to me it screams fan service-y vibes. jikook are as close as they are and they're not running around instagram posting like that. sometimes other members would make comments on posts hyping each other up, but not to that degree. on a picture where you can barely see his face wearing a neon tracksuit, he's so pretty. good god. it just feels overly exaggerated for fan reaction.

with how he posts about jungkook, it just feels like 🙋‍♂️im here too!! 🙋‍♂️. i travel with jungkook too!! 🙋‍♂️ look at us.🙋‍♂️ im his hyung too!🙋‍♂️

and its kinda sad. because i think jungkook has made it clear who he chooses and i think it is purely incidental from him since he has other interests at heart.

and yeah, a lot of tae's behavior i am deeming as attention seeking jimin does the same in his lives, on his instagram, in regular conversation in other videos specifically about jungkook. BUT. the catch is, that there's a similar amount of video evidence that jungkook does the exact same thing about jimin. there's the reciprocation in jikook that t@ekook just do not have. point blank. which in itself, debunks the whole ship.

so the evidence is piling up around tae that he has a flippant, spontaneous, almost irresponsible facade, but actually could be choosing to purposefully attract attention to himself for his own benefit through the use of his younger bandmate. again, a theoretical, but thanks for joining in on my thoughts.

[bekaroth-reads]

Ascended Astarion x Tav/ reader

Major spoilers ahead!!

[Well, sort of. A bit of an AU for the scene where Astarion turns Tav into his spawn. Sort of where even though Astarion chose to do the ascension ritual, glimmers of his long lost morality claw their way through. Could also be seen as an extension of the actual scene, like after it fades to black or whatever. Just as long as Tav is still alive and he is making them not so. Full discloser, I was watching the 1992 Dracula when I thought of this and sorta, kinda, allota, repurposed/paraphrased some lines from a scene from there. As per usual, I am using you and they pronouns for Tav.]

This was selfish. He knew this was selfish. And, yet, he did not care.

There had been very rare a time that he was never being selfish in one way or another, at least in his mind’s eye. Though the truth of the matter was not so black and white as he was telling himself these nights, once again he did not care. As far as Astarion could understand, after suffering for centuries that this new existence was his reward, his purpose even. After the turmoil, torture, the violations that Cazador had put him through, he had survived- overcame.

Enduring all of the painful pressure of his previous existence, Astarion emerged the brightest diamond glittering in the night. After scraping by in the in the dirt of his own grave, he was now ascending beyond anyone’s comprehension. Though he already thought himself all-powerful from the moment the ritual was finished, there was the pleasant surprise of feeling that power growing day by day.

The hunger for that power and more increased at the same pace if not faster, however. And, while at one point, a young, pale elf would have sworn off the process entirely, the newly matured vampire knew there was one certain way to assure his continued power- spawn.

Though there was still a part of his old self that felt bile rise in his throat at the very thought, as far as Astarion was concerned that old self was truly dead and gone, buried in that graveyard just outside of the city, and who he was now just happened to share a name with the poor sod. Besides, it wasn’t like he was a total monster. Even if he was, nothing he ever did could be worse than what Cazador put him though; he was convinced of that if nothing else.

The thing that seemed to give him pause. Astarion knew in his soul, in the heart of his long-dead, black heart, who he wanted- no- needed to be his first. It couldn’t be anyone else but his dear Tav.

He had been more than patient with you as he let you be sure that all the others in your sordid, little party were actually well off, or rather, as well off as some of them could be. But, he was ready for the next step, and you were willing.

While Astarion was more than proud of his work done freeing himself, he knew that you had aided him greatly. And, something else that he was certain of was that you were his, and he could not bare to lose you. The more mortal you were, the more of a risk there was of that happening. There certainly were plenty of things that could kill, or rather re-kill vampires, however they were fewer a father between. Besides, you would have him there every step of the way. One of the greatest ways to keep you safe was to never take his eyes off of you.

And yet…

Could he really risk putting you through anything remotely akin to what he had gone through?

Once he entered his new, lavish bedchamber, seeing you waiting for him like your whole world started and stopped with his very presence alone, he quickly decided he could. It wouldn’t truly be like what transpired between Cazador and himself. How could it be? Here you were, so ready, so willing. He wasn’t binding you to himself because he wanted to enslave you, not truly. Astarion simply could not think of a life with out his Tav; not any more. He was doing this because he…

This was no time for all of this… this… simply just all of this to be bogging down his mind as well as the mood. He banished the thoughts at least for the moment with a sly grin and hungry eyes as he sauntered over to the place where he had you kneeling before him. He pushed you down as a playful threat and means to lean himself over you. There were words, both of your usual banter, a playful nip or two around your body and then the air filled with the electrifying tension of bracing for what you both knew what was going to happen next.

There was another bite, this time a deep piercing of the skin at your neck. Astarion lingered, indulged in the first gush of your last production of mortal blood for longer than he planned to before sitting up just enough to look you in the eyes again.

“You have given me everything. Thank you.” He almost sang in a sigh before returning to his sanguine ambrosia from where he had opened your veins and punctured your flesh.

As he drank, it became more and more evident that you were fading, the loosening of your hold on him, the stilling of the fingers tracing the scars on his back being a clear signaling…

The scars on his back.

Something that no matter how he might try to distance himself from his old life, no matter how he tried to see them as a symbol of his newly found power, he still couldn’t block out how and why those runes were carved there. And, as if from those runes an elf, a poor young thing that was giving no choice centuries ago cried out in terror, in pain at the sight of himself, no, the monster perusing him now wearing his skin and damning another as he was once damned.

“No!” Astarion cried as he forced himself away from your neck, “I cannot do this to you!” He held your face gently, more gently and less possessively than he had in a long while and whispered, “Not to you, Tav.”

“Please. Do it Astarion. Make me yours. Forever yours.” You pleaded, words fumbling out of your mouth in your delirium, but all of the genuinely earnest.

“To do this is to curse you. Curse you as he cursed me.” Even in raw emotional outbursts, Astarion still couldn’t stand to spit out Cazador’s name, not even once more. “Curse you with me. I-“ Astarion was going to continue the thought, but couldn’t bring himself to. There were still many of his thoughts that he had not and perhaps never would verbally utter to another soul; not even to you.

His eyes soften in a way that you had never seen them before; there were so many emotions swirling behind them. The one that you saw surface the most even in your half-dead haze was guilt. A guilt that seemed to be battling against the animalistic hunger that he had been parading the rest of the night.

“I love you too much to damn you.” He was on the verge of tears, as if part of him didn’t want to fully go though with it anymore, and yet knew it could only fight the rest of him for a few moments more.

It was all the assurance you needed, however. The fact that he loved you was often displayed, but seldom spoken directly. And, if he did indeed love you enough to say so, to give pause no matter what every fiber of his being was telling him to do on the chance that you might regret asking him to embrace you into the life of a vampire spawn, then you knew that he loved you enough- that you loved him enough- that you both would need eternity to even begin showing the extent of it.

“Please.” You whimpered out, and it seemed like all you were feeling was portrayed in the single word as Astarion looked as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders and the tension on his brow eased. There was a gentle kiss to the wrist that he had bitten earlier tonight.

As soft as it started, his teeth were quick to follow them once the coppery taste of your blood reawakened the more feral side of him. He did not bite your wrist again, simply used his teeth to scrape off some dried blood while his fangs decorated your skin with welts. One more kiss goodbye to your pulse, and he moved to your neck once more.

“As you wish, pet.” Astarion purred and imbibed once more until you were limp in his arms.

Asterion knew that when you woke again, you would have many questions. One that he would deny even knowing about was his show of weakness tonight. If he was going to procure and rule his domain there was no room for frivolities. Well, there would certainly be plenty of frivolities as he so desired and deserved, but the gentler feelings of life were not among them.

Then again, looking at your still, serine form waiting to start its new un-life, forevermore his, Astarion supposed that there might be a few times where he could make the exception; but only for you. Only for sweet, little Tav. His Tav.

[90shaladriel]

A Lord and His Build - Chapter 17 (Completed)

Chapter 17 - Epilogue (Completed Fic!)

Rating: Mature

Words: 8k

Summary: Our hero's journey comes to an end but the paths go ever winding.

CW: References to birth and half-maia Celebrian 🤭

Thank you once again to the title art by @klynnvakarian!

Well this is the final chapter and instead of a snippet I just wanted to leave a comment on my overall thoughts on writing this fic.

Well, I can’t believe I actually did it! This is my first ever fic and it has turned into my longest after almost two years. While there are elements of this story I could imagine continuing, I felt that I wanted a solid conclusion and this was a sort of novel length point to end it. It was important to me that Ereddâz's journey had a satisfying ending for him. If you couldn’t tell, there’s elements of this character that are deeply personal to me and only became more so as the fic went on. I am grateful to have met this character and gone on this journey with him and at times it was very cathartic to some personal things I had going on. I hope I was true to the character though.

I truly had a great time writing this fic. It was a joy for me and I did feel proud of a lot of what I have written. Sometimes I think certain parts could’ve been better or I had other ideas that would’ve been cool but ended up on the cutting room floor so to speak. But overall this was such a memorable experience.

I’ll never forget the support and pseudo beta reading by my friends in the Saurondriel and Haladriel discords. In fact it was encouragement from one of those discords that I decided to actually put myself out there and write my first ever fan fic with zero experience in a community that I barely knew. That person said something like “your voice matters and we can use your contribution to the fandom” (paraphrasing). I can’t describe how encouraging those words were to read to get over the initial anxiety I had about writing this story.

Since most of the communities I was in were mostly focused on the Haladriel romance or even the smut side of things I did feel a bit on the outside having a very subtle Haladriel element while focusing on this Rings of Power AU story about Orc civilians. I think those fears disappeared after I started writing it for myself in a way AND then I continued getting all those lovely comments and kudos from all you readers here and on ao3. THANK YOU, your interest and appreciation definitely motivated me to come this far and finish it. Let me know what you think. Any constructive criticism is also appreciated!

[ckret2]

I don't know all that much about "bill is from Flatland (1884)" theory or the book Flatland at all other than that it's public domain and thus possible to get an explicit connection from an IP rights perspective, how likely do you think it is for Book of Bill to confirm vs refute it

The theory comes from this quote on the Bill Cipher AMA:

Which is, of course, the author of Flatland. And then Journal 3 features a page on Exwhylia—a dimension SO similar to Flatland that Ford's description of it is literally just a condensed & paraphrased version of the canonical description of Flatland—and then he says Bill isn't from this dimension, but is probably from a similar one.

So we have Bill himself namedropping the author, and Journal 3 describing a place so similar that it's obvious Alex read Flatland cover to cover.

So I wouldn't call it a "theory" so much as I would call it "technically barely not canon."

My personal expectation is that, if the book does describe Bill's home world in depth, it won't be precisely identical to THE Flatland, but like, it will basically be the same. In the same way that 1960s TV show Batman and 2000s movie Batman aren't THE SAME Batman, but they're obviously both Batman. It'll be impossible to say "oh yeah Bill's from the novel" but it'll probably be possible to say "this is a Gravity Falls version of the same place."

Maybe the shapes will be illustrated with eyes in their centers like Bill rather than in their corners like Flatland canon, maybe Alex will drop the Victorian-era vibes and give the dimension a more modern feel, maybe it'll keep the shape hierarchy but super simplify the details, maybe they completely scrap the whole "every thousand years a sphere tries to tell them about the third dimension" plot while still keeping the overall oppressive atmosphere—whatever. I just don't expect the book to say "I am from Flatland like in Flatland (1884) by Edwin Abbott Abbott" but likely say "I am from Flatland" (or just leave out the name of the dimension so we can draw our own conclusions).

Based on what we know about Bill's canon backstory, the way plain old vanilla Flatland would mesh with elements of Bill's character, and the fact that everything we currently know about his backstory thus far, although very slight, doesn't contradict Flatland? I'm calling Occam's Razor and expecting Alex to stick pretty close to the original for any details he ends up sharing.