schumachbae

[crunchycrystals]

watching the "ian misses the old smosh" sketch and killing everyone in the comments with my mind

[tinykonig]

𝔠'𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔪𝔢

könig has really pretty hands... you think he deserves to know {reader has a major hand kink- don't we all-, könig has a praise kink and is absolutely obsessed with reader. this is very obviously nsfw 18+ only please and thank you ~this will also be cross-posted to ao3} intentionally lower-case

he is just so intrinsically captivating- everything about him. you never stop noticing him.

the second he walked into base, your throat ran dry when you realized the sheer size of the man. he could swallow you whole. you wanted him to.

you don't wanna say you had ulterior motives when you befriended him- you truly like the guy. he's funny and extremely sweet, and hanging around könig had other benefits. no one dared to mess with you when he was around. the usual chatter of men hitting you up or questioning your position melted into peaceful quiet and the soft sound of könig's voice.

like right now.

"did you hear me?" his voice comes from the edge of your mattress where he has perched himself, undoing the laces on his boots.

you are sitting at the chair to your desk and watching his long, strong fingers work around the dark strings to loosen them from the complicated knots. his hood was flipped back over his helmet revealing his concerned expression

your head snaps up, "no, sorry, big guy. zoned out," you respond, and you hope to god it sounds casual.

"oh, okay." he says awkwardly, pausing his movements to look at your face- slightly rosy and pupils blown- but if he notices he doesn't say anything. "i said i got something for you while i was gone."

your face brightens and you grin at him, his expression quickly mimicking your newly excited one.

he reaches into a pocket on his vest and pulls out something small, then he encases it in his large fist and holds it out in your direction.

“i actually made it,” he clarifies, chuckling at you as you begin to make grabby hands towards him, like an excited child.

you have to hold back a gasp when both of his hands wrap around your much smaller ones. it felt like pure electricity surging from his palms straight to your core.

he drops the object in your open hand and draws away, suddenly looking shy again.

it’s a tiny wooden figurine of your favorite animal. incredibly detailed and tiny and you turn in over in your hands in awe. a lump takes root in the base of your throat. könig never fails to take you by surprise with his thoughtfulness.

“könig i love it,” you whisper, not quite trusting your voice not to break at a normal volume, “it’s so fucking cute.”

“you like it?” you can hear the smile in his voice as he fully takes off his helmet and hood and sets it on your nightstand. he must have worked on taking off his boots fully along with his tac vest because they are now sitting in a neat pile beside the foot of your bed, left now in only his long sleeve black shirt and combat pants. he is visibly more relaxed now as he leans against the headboard.

“of course i do. how did you even make it? its so detailed.”

you love the proud grin that adorns his face.

“i was on night watch. cut out a chunk of wood from the windowsill, and carved using one of my knives. it took like 8 hours.”

you find an empty space on your desk and set the figurine there, shaking your head in disbelief as you turn to look at könig again.

“i accidentally cut my finger when i was carving the eyes,” he said, holding out a hand to you and showing you a superficial nick on his ring finger.

you scoot your chair closer to the bed so you can take his hand into yours and examine the tiny cut. you pout up at him and coo, “awww~ poor baby,”

and then without thinking you raised the finger to your lips and press a soft kiss to the cut. könig’s eyes are open wide and his breathing picked up considerably.

“all better now, right?” you ask teasingly, gaining confidence based off his reaction.

you carded your fingers through his and wait for his response. he surrenders his other hand into your lap as well, almost like he was in a trance

“yes,” he answers breathily.

you hum in response, still toying with the hand you hold in your possession. his hands were warm, you trace some of the scars that litter on his knuckles.

“sorry,” you mumble out the apology, “your hands are just really pretty.” you feel a little embarrassed, but not enough to let go of his hands.

könig makes a noise like he was stifling a cough and shakes his head, “ don’t apologize.” it sounds like a plead, and he makes no moves to remove his hands from your possession.

you make eye contact and recognize the want that pools in his light eyes. you are sure he sees it mirrored in yours as well. it gives you the courage to continue on the precarious path you found yourself walking.

“very pretty hands,” you murmur, “and they are so big,” holding his hand up to yours to display the ridiculous difference in size. he groans ever so lightly, his eyes now hooded under your gaze.

you knew he would never make the first move. it had to be you, and it had to be now.

“i think about your hands a lot, könig.”

your confession hangs in the air like a raincloud before a storm. filled with the promise of something more.

“tell me,” he whimpers lightly, tightening his grip on your hands for the first time this entire time you were holding them.

this is gonna be fun, you thought, grinning while you maneuvered yourself to sit on top of his thighs. you see his adam’s apple bop as he gulps in surprise.

you are still toying with his hands when you glance up at his eyes, “i think about how they would feel when they touch me,” you whisper, knowing he could hear you. he is hanging on to every word.

“touch you…” he breathes in deep, “where?”

you bring his hands under your loose t-shirt and rest them on the bare skin of your waist, keeping your hands on top of his- like you were scared he would move if you didn’t.

“here, for starters,” you respond, and you laugh a little when he presses his fingers into your skin there harder.

“are you ticklish?” he asks, smiling softly.

“just a bit,” you say, moving your hands to bring your shirt up over your head and you throw it on the floor next to the bed, messily in contrast to his perfectly folded pile of gear.

he is trying not to stare, and he is failing miserably. his hands seem to move of their own accord as they trail up your body to your bra-covered breasts.

“mmm,” you hum contentedly, “yes, i think about them touching there too,” reaching up to gently rake your fingers through his slightly shaggy hair. “although im not usually wearing this when i imagine it.”

“can i take it off?” he asks, doe eyes looking to yours for explicit permission.

now you stroke his cheekbone, along a very faint and fading scar. you grant him a nod.

quicker than you expected, he was sliding the straps down your arms and the back was unhooked. you were suddenly feeling extremely exposed, given he was still fully dressed. you tug twice on the front of his own shirt and he pauses his movements on your body to reach for his own shirt.

his torso is so long and sculpted, littered with raised pink scars, a few deeper white ones too that had healed for longer. the freckles on his face continued down his chest and arms you note, extremely pleased with that fact. he was so, so pretty. you wonder if he knows.

while you admire him, he raises his hands back to your now bare breasts and softly cups them. his touch is so gentle, and you can see in his eyes an expression of pure awe and trust.

tentatively you arch into his touch, just to have him press into your skin more. he comes out of his trance and desperation starts to take over. he tweaks a nipple between his two fingers and you moan at the unexpectedness of the action.

“that feels good, könig,” you whimper out, and he does it again. it’s so lovely to see him gain confidence from your words and your reactions. you decide to test something else out, “thats my good boy.”

the reaction is immediate. one of his arms moves to hook around your middle and pull you fully flush to his hips. you gasp at the feeling of him hot and hard under your clothed center.

“can i put my mouth on you?” he asks, and his voice still sounds so innocent and unsure but theres a hint of need creeping in as well.

“you can do anything you want,” you answer, loosing all composure and control you previously had.

he keeps his one hand on your waist, the other playing with your nipple. he brings his mouth to the other one, and you throw your head back and groan at how warm and wet it feels. he gently rolls his tongue around the nipple, biting lightly every few seconds. you’ve never felt so close to cumming from nipple play before, but with könig? everything was heightened.

you grip his hair harder and pull his mouth off you, looking into his eyes and breathily saying, “i haven’t told you where i think about your hands being the most.”

he groans. it’s a sinfully wonderful little noise.

“please,” he chokes out, “please, please tell me,”

you conjure up all the confidence left in your body under his gaze, and stand up and unbutton your pants. his eyes are heavy on your body as you slide them down your legs, and it’s like he cant help himself when he reaches out and runs his hands up and down one of your thighs.

“so soft,” he says, in complete reverence.

you almost feel bad for him when you see how painfully hard he is in his pants. you wonder for a second if his hands were so big, how big could he be there, too…

before sitting back down in his lap, you reach for his own pants to let him know that you wanted those off as well. he obeys you so easily, so eagerly.

he almost looks like he’s been hypnotized when you take your seat back on his lap, less barriers separating you two now. you are sure he can feel how wet you are, its soaked through your thin panties.

he just whimpers, and waits. waiting for you to tell him, like he so kindly asked you to.

so you do.

you grab one of his hands again, and he watches intently as you bring two of his long, thick fingers into your mouth. his jaw goes slack as you slide your tongue over his digits, coating them with your saliva. he lightly thrusts up, like he can’t control himself but he’s trying.

you hum again and release his fingers from your mouth and guide them down to your heat hovering over his clothed dick.

when he slipped past the band of your panties, he broke free of his trance. feeling your wet, throbbing pussy broke something in him and he was on a mission to make you feel as good as he possibly can. he slid his fingers back and forth over your clit and drank in your moans as his kissed you for the first time.

you whisper praises against his mouth, telling him how good he was doing. “better than i could have ever imagined,” you manage to breath out as he strokes you towards your orgasm just by massaging your clit.

every word you said went straight to his core, and it was a need- an absolutely feral need- to feel you cum on his hand.

“inside me,” you moan out, “please, put them inside me.”

his chest and face are burning red with want, and you start to feel bad that you’re the only one being pleasured as he slips two fingers into your pussy. through a bubbling moan in your chest you manage to ask him, “can i touch you, too?”

he looks at you like you just gave him his own personal star from the sky, “god, please” he says, his accent growing even thicker in want.

you pull him out of his boxers and gasp. if you thought his hands were big- this was just unfair. his cock stands tall against his stomach, pale pink and leaking. he is the most beautiful man in your universe, and you tell him.

he moans at your words and bucks his hips into the air. having mercy on him you wrap your hand around him. he rewards you by stroking the spongy part inside you with his two fingers. you start to roll your hips into his hand, and that spurs him on even further.

“c’mon, use me,” he mutters into your ear, “use my hand to make yourself cum. please, i need it so bad.”

you were already embarrassingly close, and his desperate words brought your orgasm crashing over you. your hand strokes his harder and you vaguely register his free hand grabbing your throat to pull your forehead to rest against his as he cums all over your hand and his stomach. you ride out your release on his hand until you can’t take it anymore and stop your movements.

the only sound in the room is heavy breathing. you whine as he removes his hand from you, which makes him chuckle a little. you open your eyes to meet his and he looks so blissful.

you smile back at him tiredly, “later, i’ll have to tell you about how i think about your mouth,” and he laughs his regular, loud laugh that you love. he pulls you into his chest to lay down fully.

“yes, i think you should.” he agrees.

[ghostbite0]

How did everyone else find out about the baby situation? Did the blood demon art (...I'm assuming that's what it was; on second thought I can't remember if you specifically said that's what happened) take a while to set in and they were already back at HQ, or did the kakushi find them and bring them back?

Also what were the other hashira's initial reactions?

thats still to be determined-- i have yet to really iron that part out. i was thinking the three had JUST returned from their mission when the blood demon art took effect

Alternatively, the three are hit with the blood demon art, and Sanemi and Giyuu's crows go to get help. Since Gyomei is closeby, he is the first to find the three. After reeling over these three tiny babies, he takes them back to the headquarters, where they inevitably face the rest of the Hashira!

what were their reactions...? great question!

Hashira Reactions:

Shinobu: she couldn't help but giggle at their situation, but she quickly looked them over and ensured they were healthy physically. after they found some fitting clothes, she began to endlessly tease the boys-- particularly Giyuu, because, of course, she would tease Giyuu. she kept joking about how cute they were and how they should leave them like that, which was followed by Sanemi trying to throw something at her but failing miserably. Giyuu reluctantly lets her hold him, and then it turns into Giyuu not letting anyone aside from his closest friend, except for Gyomei. Gyomei's wonderful. Rengoku, too.

Tengen: similarly, Tengen cracked up. at first he was more confused and taken aback than anything, but once he knew for certain they were okay, he began joking around alongside Shinobu. he vocally brainstormed what kind of outfits to put them in, resulting in all three babies shrieking/whining at him. he claims Sanemi right off the bat and learns the baby is super ticklish. He spends a good chunk of the interaction tickling the little guy whenever Sanemi gets frustrated or angry. at one point, Sanemi pulled on his hair, so he tickled Sanemi nonstop until the baby could babble strings of reluctant apologies

Gyomei: he's really conflicted due to his backstory revolving young children, but his caregiver instincts take over, and he fawns over them. being the one to find the babies, he's the first to hold and comfort them, so of course, being as paternal as he is, he gets attached. once he took them back to the other Hashira and explained the situation, Shinobu began checking their vitals and what not, and he would continuously pipe up to ask how they were. this was soon followed by him bringing up how they needed to get the babies fed and taken care of-- which, again, had all three in distress/embarrassed

Rengoku: His big brother instincts go CRAZY. Similar to Gyomei, he automatically begins fussing over them and asking a lot of questions to make sure they're alright—though Rengoku asks the babies directly: "Are you okay?" "How old are you?" "Which demon did this to you?" "Are you hungry?" "What kind of food do you guys eat?" "Or are you still nursing?"... that sort of thing!

Muichiro: oh he thinks the situation is hilarious. he's completely monotone and stoic during the first encounter, but the second he's with the three babies, he's teasing them. he talks to the babies as normal and will just calmly ask, "Do you need a nap?" and says things like, "You're fussing an awful lot. Maybe you need a bottle."

he's basically a little shit. however, he does ease up later when he realizes Obanai, in particular, is having a really hard time, and his soft spot for him becomes evident. Obanai always looked out for him, so he wants to look out for Obanai! he becomes his main target in the teasing but is also obviously Muichiro's favorite. Muichiro will ruthlessly tease Sanemi, though. he thinks its funny

Mitsuri: she was in TEARS the second she saw the babies, and Tengen had to hold her back from rushing over and scooping them up. she thinks they're adorable and is already scheming with Tengen on how to dress them up, and what to buy them, and what not! once she was given the okay, she darted over and fussed over the three like they were actual babies-- only to be mortified when she was informed they all maintained their memories. she was flustered for a while, but once Obanai began to get really distressed, she jumped back into action. she would end up cradling him and kissing his little head until he calmed down, and of course, everyone just gave them knowing stares. Obanai was very embarrassed. Mitsuri interpreted this as Obanai getting fussy again, so she just returned to snuggling him.

feel free to ask more questions or send in hcs and what not! i love this au oh so very much...

[smilingangel582]

Yo yo... ik I don't take requests and all... but I have my reasons... im really sorry! I just have a lot on my plate! But writing is all I need and I would like to write as much as I want! That's all, thank you 👉 👈

Anyway! Wind breaker is the new hot topic for me! Idk about u guys but im loving the mc

Haruka sakura! Love his name, style, antics, and cuteness overload when he gets flustered and shy!

Possible lers! Suo, Umemiya, Togame!

I want more of these guys srsly!

Ok, so warning spoilers alert! Anime and manga

Sakura's Dilema!?

Sakura ate Kotoha's omelette rice as usual. She would smile fondly at him throughout and began her unusual newspaper routine about town.

"...so that's what granny sato said..."

Sakura licking his fingers clean shrugged, "Hm, good..."

Somewhat a little impressed, "Your improving. You don't get flustered anymore when someone compliment you?"

Sakura scoff, "That's a hundred years ago... im not that weak"

She smiled warmly, a hand resting under her chin as he looked at Sakura, "Well i guess everyone should compliment you more now, if that's the case..."

A small heat crept up to his cheeks, Kotoha giggled teasingly, "Ah ha! There's that cute blush we all like..."

"S-shut up! So you guys are praising me because you like to see me reaction??" He snapped, getting flustered.

She grinned looking sideways, "Maybe? Or maybe not but... granny said its adorable... and so do I" winking back Sakura gritted his teeth, a shade of red growing uncontrollably on his face.

She chuckles, thinking, "Maybe I should stop teasing him..." Then she speaks with a calmer tone to relax Sakura's tensed embarassment.

"Oh, Sakura... I almost forgot..."

Looking up from his plate, his face back to his normal colour gradually, "Yh what?"

"Ume told me the shishitoren buddies are coming over at Furin high..."

Almost choking on the eggs, Sakura looked up with a surprised frown, standing up with a daring grumble, "Huh? Why? Are they here to pick a fight?"

Kotoha sighs, "No, that's not it... its-"

He cuts in, "Maybe they wanna fight me again! Hah! I'll show them!" He quickly stuffed his mouth with the final bits of rice and eggs, but deliberately ignoring his veggies and sets out.

Kotoha was too surprised to protest as she couldn't even finish, as the bell tinkled upon his leave, "E-eh? Sakura! Hold up! That isn't what I... meant..." she murmured the last part as he was already gone, smiling confusedly, she sigh again, "That idiot..."

Meanwhile, Sakura hurrying towards the school began to notice a large crowd of bofurin and shishitoren looking at each other. Suspecting it's a fight, Sakura lets out a growl, "Oi! Do u wanna fight?"

The others stared, and half of shishitoren lunged towards him. But not in the way he expected. They crowded him like a flock of fan boys.

"That's the first year that beat our second in command!"

"Wow! He's got a funny but cool look!"

"Is he strong? I can feel it!"

So many ushering and laughter comes from the usually wild shishitorens. Sakura gets flustered and shocked. "H-hey, what's going on?"

"Sakura-san, didn't kotaha-san tell ya?" Nirei finally steps forward, smiling as he helped him out from the crowd, "Shishitoren are here on Umemiya-san's orders for a casual get-together..."

Silent, Sakura stared, "Eh... rly? That's it?"

He nods now, grabbing his hand, "Come, they are all at the auditorium!"

Past the hallways, Sakura could tell the room is less tensed than it should be if it's back those days. There... he can see Togame, Toyama, Umemiya and Suo standing in one pack -oh and Sugishita glaring at Sakura.

Sakura smirks, "Well well... I thought it was a battle but its just a silly tea party..."

Togame played along, feigning meance, "Oh? would you have preferred us thrashing your butt, Sakura?"

Eyeing him challengingly, "Ah... the second in command himself, Togame, wants to lose again..."

The older guy steps in with his geta clattering on the ground. He has a much mellower appearance in contrast to Sakura's first impression of him. Sakura says he prefers the other and colder Togame, but... who knows what a tsundere actually says and means?

Togame clapped him in the back, "So, Sakura... how have you been?"

"Hmph! Mr. Sloth himself... what a surprise"

Togame smiles, genuinely happy, as he continues this banter, "Well, you are still that brat who almost got pummeled by me,"

Sakura scoffs, "As if! I never lose..."

"Togame and Sakura have history to share..." Umemiya grins gleefully, and Toyama has his arms around Umemiya, very buddy-like and close as expected. Its ironic to how things used to be. There's more liveliness and strength in Shidhitori.

Everyone had a harmonious atomosphere compared to how they met the first day. Even Sako has a reserved but amiable relationship with Hiragi. Sakura felt somewhat... relieved...

Suo mentions slyly as he crept behind Sakura, "Well, Togame-san? Want to have another fun fight with our grade captain?"

Sakura's ears turn red as he snaps at Suo, "Oi, don't push it..." however he looks at Togame expectantly, "Well, I don't mind a bit of fighting and all..."

Nirei squeaked, "B-but... Sakura..."

"Dont worry, Nirei... look, " Suo pats his back with assurance. They both watched Togame smile more openly, not in the prior meancing grin, "Yaa... It's been too long, Othello-kun. I hope you learnt something from me that time..."

"Oh? You mean other than how I punched you?" Sakura provoked, which Togame narrowed his eyes playfully, "Don't get cocky..."

Toyama brightened up, "Ne,ne Ume-chan, are they gonna fight?"

Umemiya sighs but not in dismay, "Seriously... alright, I suppose, but don't go too far, or else Hiragi needs another stock of gas-kun ten"

"Oi!"

Soon, Togame was in his usual stance. Instead of glaring, he was looking forward to it. Nirei grabbed his notebook, and began scribbling on a new page.

Suo asked, "Are you gathering information on Togame?"

Nirei grins, sticking his tongue as he concentrated, "Not quite... It's for Sakura-san as he told me to write down his flaws so he can improve himself, I want to know what's his weak points are, too, anyway..."

Suo gives a brief laugh, "Other than the fact that he's so easily red when someone compliments him?"

Nirei conceded with a chuckle, "Well, yh that too... but something else..."

Togame lunged just the moment Sakura moved. It expected that Togame strives for grappling more and he's more intent on grabbing Sakura instead of punching him

"Ugh, I hate this fighting style!" Sakura sneered as he dodged perfectly. Regardless, their hits are serious despite the playful nature. Sakura could feel Togame grab his shoulders to push him down, but he's too flexible as Sakura slips away.

"Whew close!" Toyama mentioned and Umeniya agreed with a smile.

Sakura managed to dodge and yet...

"Gotcha..." Togame slipped under his arm to judo flip him from behind. Sakura felt the force as he made contact on the ground, yet Togame carefully made it less forceful and used his hand to protect the back of his head. Nevertheless Sakura twisted himself to avoid being pinned down. Instead, he spun himself with his leg wrapping around his opponents waist now switching sides.

Togame slipped a bit but latched on to his waist a bit unexpectedly.

The touch caught Sakura off guard despite it being an obvious grapple. Surprising everyone, Sakura stumbled down on his knees.

This was noted by the shishitoren second in command. Then, getting an idea, Togame slowly poked his waist while using his body weight to pin the shorter guy down, "Hm... interesting discovery..."

"H-hey! Wait! Dohont doho that!" Sakura flinched now, arcing his back as Togame's touch became gentler and swift around his sides, a light giggle slipping out of Sakura's grinding teeth.

"Oh my, is the little delinquent a bit sensitive?" Suo teased from the background, beating Togame from saying a similar phrase.

Sakura gets flustered again, now trying so hard to keep his laughter under control. Togame's nimble fingers began to crawl up his stomach, which made Sakura shriek and quickly scramble away from him, "Ack... NOHO?!"

A frivolous yet sinister grin was plastered on Togame's face. He raised his hands, tauntingly wiggling his fingers, "Uh oh, someone's in trouble... too bad I found out this weakness first..."

Nirei, mildly shocked, immediately began jotting down notes, giving a serious nod to himself, "Intriguing indeed, but a guy like Sakura is bound to be ticklish..."

Nirei flinched when Sakura yelled. Snapping his head with an aghast look, "Huh? Whohoho's sihihide ahahahahare youhuhu ohohohon, boke?"

"Now now, you can't even keep your giggles to yourself, Sakura..." Suo snickered.

"Y-YOHohou bahahastard!" He raised a hand to try and punch Togame and use a leg to kick his face.

Togame took this chance to lunge forward, dodging them effectively. Like the tackle from last time during the fight, Togame pushed himself forward towards Sakura's midriff. He managed to use his strength to get him down again, "You shouldn't let your guard down... even at friendly spars"

"Ah!" Sakura yelped, trying to turn on his stomach to escape, as this is no longer fighting but play fighting, "S-shit!"

Togame instantly grabbed his shoulders to stop him, "Uh uh uh~ Sakura... where do you think you're going...?" He dug his nimble fingers into Sakura's sides, suddenly eliciting a squeal and contagious giggles that sounded so unlikely of the tough Sakura. It went crescendo to decrescando at each sensitive spot he targeted.

"EEEh! DohoHOHOho noHOHOt! HahAHAHAHa, thiHIHIHIHIs iHIsn't fahAHAHAHAHAIR!"

"Who said fighting is about fair play?" Togame snickered mercilessly, almost like an evil older brother, "You of all people should know that, little Othello. Plus, it's cute when you lose control..." That earned a beet red blush from the victim as he kicked and thrashed, not even coordinating his defences.

Toyama and Umemiya grinned at this, and the others watched how their bonding went on through this 'spar' session.

Still the leader of Furin sigh, "Honestly it's dangerous if anyone finds out about his weakness..."

Toyama laughed, "Yes! Isn't he like strong as you? It's crazy how he's trying to fight back like this..."

Nirei chuckles, "I never expected this side of him, its... surprisingly cute"

"You mean unsurprisingly Nirei-kun," Suo winked, now pointing towards the fight with a gleeful look. Sugishitha, who's been eye rolling as he watered the plants, took multiple glances back at the little one-sided tickle fight.

Sakura tried to kick him (half-heartedly) but instead felt a suddenly electric tingle spread down and up his leg as Togame sqeezed his knee -whether it is accidental or intentionally was unknown.

Shocked beyond anything...

His laugh kicked a knotch as Togame began to tickle under his knee, unable to use his hands as they uselessly failed. They just hit the wooden floor instead, "AHAHA! NOHOT THEHEHERE! DAHAHAMN IT!"

Togame laughed at that, not stopping as Sakura couldn't place his attacks properly, "Oho? I should've gone for the knees before... It's funny how you got restrained by a mere touch there,"

"AHAHA BAHAHASTARD! NOHO WAY I'M LOHOSING!"

"Then... what about... heeere?"

Togame used his bodyweight to pin his shins and then squeezed his upper thigh. This made Sakura go wild, "GAH! N-NOO! HAHA SHIT! YOU AHAHAHASS!"

Seeing him slightly going red, Togame decide to give him a break. But... just a break.

Just five seconds at least... Togame thought menacingly.

5...

"Haah haaa..."

4...

"J-jeeheeez, thehehe heheck?" 3...

Togame got ready as he cracked his fingers. 2...

"U-uh eek!"

1...

Sakura's voice hit an octave as he let out a startled shrill when Togame pounced forward to get his ribs, a giggly reaction that melted his heart. It's not as strong as his knees and thighs, at least.

Suo has his usual smile, which stretched widely as he said mysteriously, "I wonder if I can get a turn?"

Nirei gulped, inwardly thinking he should never leave Sakura alone from now on-

"NOOO! HAHAHA, P-PLEHEHEASE NOHOT THEHERE! I TAHAHAKE IT BAHAHAHACK! AHAHA YOHOHOU'RE AHAHA DEHEHEMON!" A surprised squeal from Sakura made Nirei look in bewilderment. Where was Togame tickling to make the tough and cold Sakura to actually beg for mercy?

"Ahhh~ found it... your actually weak in the armpits? How predictable, its so adorable" Togame is, as Nirei will note down, the possible second worst tickle monster... first place being Suo.

Suo chuckles, "You say it's the worst but he's ticklish everywhere"

Togame laughed, still tickling Sakura, "Oh yh... it doesn't matter... his knees are as bad as here..."

Sakura kicked and thrashed weakly, now cackling like a mad man, closing his arms, "NAHAHAA! Y-yohOHOHOU AHAHAHAASS! LEHEHEHehet gOHOHOHo!"

"Mmmm~ nope..."

Panicking instantly, Sakura let out a flustered cry, "FIHIHINEHEHE! FINE! I GIVE UHUHUP!"

His voice raised another octave at the end, and Togame chuckled with amusement, letting his hands leave his armpits, "You are so ticklish there, who would've guessed..." he added with a pinch yo his thighs, making the other squeak weakly jolting, "aaaand there too..."

"It's good enough, that he's a tsundere, but being ticklish one is better," Suo proudly stated.

"Q-Quhuhuiet y-yohou dihihick!"

Evidently, Sakura is catching his breath, still pink in his face, sweating as if he had an actual one-sided 'battle' of blood-lust.

Nirei hummed in consideration as he looked at his notebook, "Hmm, so being ticklish is Sakura's weak point eh? Even I could win against him,"

"Shaddap!" Sakura managed to choke out angrily.

Umemiya gives a laugh, scratching the back of his head, "Oh, I doubt you can cuz Sakura will knock you out cold before you could try. He's a proud guy after all..."

"Oi! Quit talking like I'm not here, dumbass"

Sugishita sneered, clenching the water kettle tightly, "That's Umemiya-san to you, weaksauce!"

Getting up on his elbows, Sakura growl, back to his old self, with remarkable stamina, "Ah? Do you wanna pick a fight mop-head? Cuz I'm game..."

"Ma ma..." Suo stepped in between them, elegantly skimming his eyes over the taller guy, "Sugishita-kun, do you want to upset Umemiya-san?"

The tall guy turned to a radiant happy Umemiya and huffed angrily as he backed away easily. Now Suo turned to Sakura with a much eerie smile, "And Sakura-kun, do you want round two?" He mischievously wiggled his finger, "Instead of Togame, I can step in for him?"

Fear struck him, he blushed, yelling as he swatted those fingers, "H-hohow dare you threaten me! Ugh, whatever... fine, I won't pick a fight with him"

Suo heard Togame speak with amusement from the corner, hands restinf behind his back, "and here I thought you were looking forward for round 2 Sakura..."

"W-why would I?"

Suo answers this time, leaning forward towards his ear, "You never resisted... now did you?"

Sakura instantly turned red, eyes widened with surprise, his golden and black eyes dilating like a cats pupil, "H-huh? I was too concentrated! T-to even fight back!"

"Mmm~" everyone hummed teasingly, not believing him obviously.

This time Toyama grinned childishly, nudging Sakura playfully, "So then, does that mean you admit that you are weak to tickling then?"

"Ah? N-no I didn't say that-!"

"Theeeen, you pretended not to fight back and let me tickle ya?" Togame added... the two shishitoren leaders were putting Sakura in a helpless position.

Silent... Sakura looked away, Suo added, "Quite the bind your in, Sakura-kun"

Debating on what was more embarassing... either he should say that he liked being tickled and pretended not to fight or say he's too ticklish to handle it and fight back.

Sakura fumed for good five seconds before replying with a mutter, "U-ugh fine fine, fine! I'm weak to it so I cant fight back! Happy?"

Everyone grinned fondly, Sakura covered his face, both in shyness and rage.

"Good boy!!" Umemiya ruffled his hair, now making Sakura snap and growl like a little savage puppy.

In a corner with Suo, Nirei, however, chuckled to himself, "I bet he doesn't mind it much..."

Suo grinned, looking at the scene with a glimmering passion, "You guessed it... he's our fearless, cute, tough tsundere grade captain... Sakura-kun"

[svgvru]

. . . more biblically accurate gojo rambles! "i'm in love with a little blue frog."

𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 . . . he loves teasing you with them. he's always been insecure about them. his parents would never directly degrade him, but he could tell. they didn't like the way he looked. i mean—who would? three sets of eyes was not normal by any means, it was confusing for his parents considering he had curse-like features. my, my, the drama that occured. regardless, he never made friends. his face, paired with his immense power, made it nearly impossible for anyone to like him—truly like him. so he hid his face as best he could. bandanas, glasses, his hair, anything he could do to hide them.

and then he joined this choatic team which was led by yaga. suguru, you, him, and shoko. an unstoppable squad of the best new generation sorcerers. he was skeptical, then he got comfortable.

hed play with his glasses and accidentally flick them off his face, his bottom pair if eyes would squint at the sudden exposure to light as he searched for his glasses. he only paused when he realized the three of you were staring at him. specifically, his eyes. "ah shit—!" satoru desperately searched for his glasses before you calmly handed them to him. "you didn't see anything!" satoru huffs and crosses his arms, worried he's lost his first and only friends. the silence was deafening, more like, anxiety inducing for satoru—until you spoke.

"you're so pretty, 'toru!" you comment and smile. huh? did his crush just call him pretty? with a gasp from shoko and suguru simultaneously, they both leap and ask. "wait—do you actually have six eyes?" satoru's surprised at your interest, taking a step back.

"can we see?"

"that's fucking cool!"

"they look like baby eyes, awww, oh my god!"

"why didn't we notice this before??"

"wait . . . THAT'S WHY YOUVE BEEN SO BITCHY OVER YOUR STUPID SUNGLASSES?" suguru shouts, his eye twitching as he recalls all of satoru's bitchiness over touching his glasses. "huh? yea . . . wait—y'all aren't weirded out?" you frown. "no?" you sound offended as you answer. "they look fucking cool, move your hair." you stand up and smile, pushing up his fluffy pale hair to see his whole face. "you're so pretty . . . " you mumble, locking eyes with his big set and smile.

ever since then, gojo's been getting quite comfortable not hiding himself (utahime and nanami almost ruined it though). maybe even perhaps too comfortable?

when he finally snagged your heart, you'd go on dates and occasionally sleep in eachother's rooms. the bad thing about that, is satoru is a living nightlight. if he doesn't go to sleep before you, there's six blue beams shining either in your face—or the back of your head. its mostly to annoy you, but—sometimes he just likes looking at you. one thing he does do constantly to irritate you? is manipulate the way his eyes move.

once he gained full control . . . it was over. one thing he does, is frog blink. he mostly does it to catch you off gaurd or distract you. for example, if you're in an argument . . . he will purposefully make his eyes blink at different times to throw you off. and it works, a lot. sometimes you laugh, sometimes you just get really confused, but eitherway your reaction is funny and there's no longer an argument!

it is really adorable when he cries though. his little eyes close in cresents and under them are bright red. they make smaller tears that join up with the big tears . . . and awwww. it was even cuter when he was a baby! tears rolling down his chubby with that cute little baby pout.

don't even get me started if the two of you are able to have a biological child! if his baby has his six little blue eyes? he'll cry—for a multitude of reasons . . .

number one: they look just like they're daddy!

number two: they might have to face what they're daddy went through.

and number three: those six-eyes on a baby look so cute!

because of his upbringing, he will never—and i mean never, fail to shower his kid with love. on their first day of kindergarten he kissed every single eye like you did for him and sent them off with an "daddy love's you." even if non-sorcerers can't see it, when they gets older . . . others will be able to see them. so he drenches them in love, gives them tips to maintain each eye, tells them how to hide them if they really want to. he's literally such a great dad, you love him sm.

bc ppl wanted more, i gave them more! tell me if you want more scenarios with six-eyes gojo or anything like that!

[ghcstao3]

By God, would it be possible for us to get more of soap and his tinder adventure with ghost.

I beg you from the bottom of my heart to grace the world with more because this is simply the best thing on earth.

Please please please.

(hope it’s still okay i’m using your ask for this haha)

not sure why it took me so long but finally! more of the tinder adventure :) this may go on ao3 later but i haven’t decided yet

tinder roulette

2.9k words

-

Tinder, in Soap’s opinion, is more of a fun pastime than anything else.

Of course, that isn’t to say he hasn’t used it for its intended purposes—hookups, if anyone is to be honest, it really isn’t a dating app—but it’s long since lost its novelty and has instead become something solely built for Soap’s entertainment.

And Gaz’s, too, apparently.

“I can’t believe how many men on here actually use those stupid fishing pictures on their profiles.”

Gaz has been hoarding Soap’s phone for the better part of an hour, now, liberally swiping left and right on others’ accounts as per routine when neither of them have anything to do. Only this time he’s essentially just been swiping left for a variety of reasons that are mostly beyond Soap.

“I don’t like how he’s holding his phone.”

“Then swipe left,” is usually Soap’s unhelpful and unheeded input.

“Already did,” is what Gaz will say.

Soap sighs as Gaz continues browsing. Normally it’s more fun for Soap than what it’s been that day, but something about the current selection feels… lacklustre. There hasn’t been much of anything funny or fascinating to pique his interest, so Gaz’s say has remained precedent.

It usually does. Just more so today, which Soap is completely fine with—at most he might chat with someone that matches with him (or, again, Gaz might chat with someone under the guise of being John, 28), and otherwise he’ll do absolutely nothing.

Until he hears Gaz suck in a sharp breath beside him. Which could be either a very good or very bad sign.

But by the way Gaz tenses, finger hovering over the screen like he’s afraid he’ll be electrocuted if he does anything, Soap takes it as a very bad thing.

Soap finally looks back at the screen after having been off in his own head for the past fifteen minutes.

At first glance, there isn’t anything that Soap sees that makes him think Gaz’s reaction was warranted. Then, and unfortunately, he starts connecting the different things he’s seeing across the profile—the glaring Simon, 32, the cheesy bio classified underneath it.

And the photos. God, the photos. Soap would hate himself for his immediate recognition coming from a set of bare, scarred and broad shoulders if he didn’t have the excuse of being familiar with the identifiable tattoo that stretches up Simon, 32’s forearm.

Gaz turns to Soap. “You don’t think…?”

“If I’m being honest, Gaz,” Soap says slowly, “I dinnae want to think about this at all.”

Gaz’s thumb inches closer to the screen, and Soap’s heart stops when he sees the hint of a mischievous grin begin to form on his fellow sergeant’s face.

“So then you wouldn’t mind if I…?”

“Gaz,” Soap warns.

“What? It’s probably just an old profile like yours. And besides,” Gaz huffs, and Soap really does not like where this is going, “aren’t you at least a little curious to see what happens? Given your…”

Soap scoffs. “No, because nothing will happen. So hand over my—“

He makes to grab for his phone but is unsuccessful when Gaz, with stupidly lightning reflexes, stretches his arm out of Soap’s reach, and, very much to Soap’s dismay, presses down his thumb and swipes right on their lieutenant’s profile.

“See? What’s the worst that could—oh.”

It’s glaring, that horrible, awful, eyesore of a pop-up that reads It’s a match!

Soap thinks he might die. This is when and where he lays to rest permanently. Because what the fuck?

Gaz winces, sheepishly handing the phone back to Soap. “That is… this is a good thing, innit? Means he likes you back, right? Right?”

Soap doesn’t take it right away, instead shrinking in on himself, desperately scrubbing at his face with the heels of his palms as if it’d erase the last minute of his life. As if it’d erase his entire existence. Because even if they matched—a fact in and of itself that Soap is still having a tough time processing—Soap will eventually have to face Ghost knowing that they had, whether or not the man has checked his own notifications, and that idea alone is mortifying.

Soap is going to kill Gaz.

“This is what I get for not listening to my Mam about goin’ to mass,” Soap groans, plucking the phone from Gaz’s hold. The first picture on Ghost’s profile stares back at him—a goddamn mirror selfie angled in a way that hides his face, but definitely not the definition of his arms thanks to lighting and a muscle tee Soap would have never thought his lieutenant to own—and he doesn’t so much as hesitate to exit out of the notification so he can forget this all happened as soon as possible.

Which would be never, in all honesty, but Soap’s an optimist.

Most days.

“You think I could get a transfer before I have to see him again?”

Gaz quirks an eyebrow. “A transfer by this afternoon? Ain’t gonna happen, mate. Not even the higher-ups could manage that.”

Soap frowns. “This after—what are you talking about?”

Gaz makes an affronted sound. “What am I…? Training, you idiot,” he snaps, smacking Soap upside the head. “You’re on duty with him later. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“‘Course not.” Soap pauses. He tries to smile but all that forms is a grimace. “If I asked you to fill in for me…“

“Absolutely not,” Gaz says. “You’re facing this yourself, mate. Today. And then maybe after you and Ghost can snog, or something.”

Soap jabs his elbow into Gaz’s side. “You act like this isn’t your fault.”

“But it’s a yes to the snogging?”

As much as Soap might like to entertain the thought any other time, he just groans as he stands from the ratty couch kept in the common room with nothing more than the intention to hide away until facing his inevitable doom.

It’s great, the things he’s feeling at the moment. So great.

And of course that feeling stays all throughout what seems like no time at all before Soap is procrastinating his way to training, an extra weight on his shoulders and far too many thoughts swirling around his head that all cease the second he makes eye contact with Ghost.

A pissy Ghost.

“You’re late,” the lieutenant says.

“Sorry, sir,” Soap mutters. He keeps his gaze anywhere but on Ghost. “Got… caught up.”

Ghost grunts. “Right.”

The silence that follows is characteristic on Ghost’s end. Soap, however, can’t bring himself to say anything without the fear of it somehow leading to asking Ghost if he’s been on his phone at all since that morning without reason to justify the question.

But obviously Ghost picks up on his nerves, and given the man’s irritatingly blunt nature, it’s no surprise he’s confronting Soap about it the moment the recruits are busy and out of earshot.

“You tense, sergeant?” Ghost says. Never a question with him; always an accusation.

“No,” Soap lies. He can’t look over to his colleague without that stupid picture appearing in his mind. “Just…”

“Tense?” Ghost repeats.

Soap sighs. Concedes, “Aye. Tense.”

When Ghost says nothing, Soap finally risks a glance at his lieutenant only to be met with Ghost’s own gaze—too intense, too piercing. Soap hadn’t known brown eyes could look so cold until Ghost.

Soap can’t help but feel as if Ghost already knows. Because in all honesty, he probably does, and there had never been any use in trying to maintain what little remains of Soap’s own dignity.

If he had had any to begin with.

Ghost tilts his head. Scrutinizes Soap further with those eternally analytic pupils of his. “And for what reason, sergeant?”

Soap is going to throttle his superior officer. He’s going to wring the man’s neck, get discharged, and never have to worry about this ever again. Because Ghost is taunting him, clearly, and how unfair is that?

“I think you know, sir,” Soap grumbles through grit teeth, because he supposes he may as well face this head-on now as much as he fears the moment it’s said aloud.

But to his surprise, Ghost actually falls back just a bit, shifting his weight between feet in that awkward, stilted way he rarely does.

Like a kid caught with their hand shoved in the cookie jar.

“Well, don’t dwell on it too much, Johnny,” Ghost finally says—the words are quieter, softer this time. “Was an accident.”

Soap curses the crumbling feeling of hope in his chest that maybe, best case scenario, this whole incident would lead to a confession. But of course not—Ghost swiping right on Soap was an accident.

“Ah. Well.” Soap clears his throat, shying away from what’s become a much kinder gaze, “So was—for me too. Gaz had my phone.”

Ghost hums. Some look glasses over his eyes before he turns from Soap and marches away to continue barking orders at the rookies. Soap doesn’t know if it’s any better than having them both linger in a suffocating awkwardness.

An accident. Right. Why did Soap think it could ever be anything else?

The remainder of training is torturous, with the way Ghost doesn’t utter a word to Soap beyond anything work-related, or some professional-opinion bullshit—all the while was an accident rattles around Soap’s head as the day progresses at a snail’s pace.

He can’t decide if it all being an accident makes the situation any better. He can’t decide on a lot of things today.

And clearly, for Ghost, it doesn’t matter either way.

Soap is going to kill someone. He just hasn’t figured out who yet.

*

“He said it was an accident.”

Gaz hardly looks up from his tray as Soap slumps into a seat across from him. The mess hall is filled with the hushed buzz of chatter, sporadic and spaced out about the room. The open, public environment is the only reason he feels safe enough talking about it—it’s the only place he isn’t concerned about having Ghost suddenly appear in that eerie, ghostlike way of his.

“Told me not to worry about it,” Soap continues, “as if he hadn’t been making me more worried with his weird interrogation.”

“Remind me why you like him like him again,” Gaz mutters before shoving another forkful of food in his mouth. He chews and swallows unreasonably quickly. “Starting to seem like you don’t actually have feelings for him, mate.”

Soap huffs. “Only because it’s obvious the bastard doesnae feel the same. What’s the point, Gaz?”

Gaz stares at him. Blinks once, twice. “I don’t know,” he says. “You tell me.”

Soap groans loudly, sinking low in his seat. He wishes just one person could give him a straight answer to resolve this entire thing. A be-all-end-all solution to put him out of his misery—because even if Ghost says it was an accident, it still happened, and it still means Ghost is active on his own Tinder to some horrifying-to-think-about extent.

And Soap is horrified to think about it. Not to mention terribly conscious of the fact.

“That’s not even the worst part,” Soap grouses. Admits, “I just told him it was a mistake for me too.”

Soap has endured many looks from many people, and he doesn’t think anything compares to the incredulity on Gaz’s face at that moment.

“You know, I felt bad for getting you into this up until you said that,” Gaz tells him. “But hearing that shit is just unbelievable. You hear yourself, right?”

“Every fucking day,” Soap sighs. He buries his face in his hands, shoulders bunched as he grumbles nonsense into his palms. “What do I even do now?”

“Nothing,” Gaz says, then pauses, shrugs his shoulders. “Or tell him the truth. Maybe he also lied.”

Soap frowns, brows furrowing deeply behind the cover of his hands. The idea never occurred to him, because what would be the likelihood of Ghost ever lying about something as trivial as this? Near zero, Soap would think.

But the idea gives him just a piece of that crumbling hope back. And so does the tone of Gaz’s voice that hints he may know more about something than he lets on.

He always seems to. Soap doesn’t know whether or not he should be thankful.

Before he can decide, however, Gaz is continuing with his ever-so-sage counselling, “If you’re going with the latter, you’d better start looking for him now. ‘Cause if he was lying, he will be avoiding you at all costs.”

Soap huffs, finally letting his arms drop back to his sides as he begins to get up. Once standing, he says to Gaz, “I hate that you’re right.”

Gaz snorts. “Usually am.”

Despite his eye roll, Soap does plan on heeding his advice instead of arguing that no, Gaz is definitely not usually right. Because he isn’t. So what if he’s just on the nose today?

Soap sets off on his search.

*

It takes well over an hour to locate Ghost, after checking all of his usual spots and hiding places several times over, and asking just about everyone he saw if they knew about the lieutenant’s whereabouts.

The answer, of course, is always no idea, but it was worth a shot anyway—only considering he still manages to find Ghost on his own in the end.

Elusive bastard. Soap thinks if the disappearing act is kept up, he might start to be inclined to agree that Gaz was onto something about Ghost’s own dishonesty.

Maybe it’s a little unethical to be confronting him right out of the showers, though.

It’s a surprise Ghost doesn’t appear to be immediately alerted of Soap’s presence with the loud thud of the door swinging shut, his back remaining turned to Soap all the while the sergeant works up the courage to clear his throat.

And maybe admire the planes of his lieutenant’s back just a moment. He’s pulled on everything but a shirt already—even one of his gaiters has made it on before the hoodie that lies in a heap on a bench beside him as he dries his hair.

Again, though, Soap is more focused on the muscles that had him recognizing Ghost in those photos earlier that day.

“Can I help you, Soap?” Ghost grunts. He drops the towel he’d been using for his hair next to the hoodie he shortly pulls over his head—Soap is only allowed a brief glimpse at damp, tousled, blond hair before a hood is obscuring it.

Soap isn’t sure why he thought Ghost hadn’t noticed him enter.

“You lied to me before,” Soap says. He may as well bite the bullet now—to drag this out any longer than a day seems childish, really. He’s old enough to know that, but stupid enough to have let Gaz have access to his phone, and to still have a Tinder account in the first place.

Ghost tenses. His back stays to Soap as he freezes, and just barely Soap is able to make out the sharp intake of breath.

“Thought I told you not to dwell.”

Soap shrugs, though Ghost can’t see it. “You tell me a lot of things, sir.”

Ghost seems to consider this in the minute rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathes, in the echo of a distant, residual dripping and an overhead fan.

He finally ducks his head, the sound of fabric shifting as he shoves his hands deep into his hoodie pockets. “Maybe I did lie. Maybe I didn’t. S’pose it doesn’t matter either way, does it, Johnny?”

“Why not?” Soap cocks his head. “I mean, Gaz did have my phone, but he had a point about getting my head out of my arse.”

Ghost turns, then, eyes narrowed at Soap with something akin to skepticism. “And what point is that?”

And for what reason, sergeant?

“That I needed to grow a pair and tell you how I feel,” Soap confesses. “To just use this whole thing as an excuse to do that.”

Ghost blinks, those stupidly brown doe eyes of his widening. “Is that what this is?”

Soap chews the inside of his cheek. “If you were lying.” He attempts something playful, but it falls flat. Meek.

There’s still so much distance between them. Too much. And with the way Soap’s heart currently swells with hope, he’s praying that changes soon.

He just has to wait on Ghost.

“I didn’t think anything would happen,” Ghost says.

“Neither did Gaz,” Soap replies. “But I could forgive him.”

“Only if I was lying?”

Soap nods.

“Then you’re a better friend than I’d be, Johnny.”

It’s enough of a confession for Soap. It’s likely the closest thing he’d ever get to one from Ghost.

And that’s alright. Because it’s the best thing to be getting out of what (admittedly) mild fiasco he’d gotten into.

“I’m only so willing because it ended me here,” Soap says. He stalls a moment, almost unashamed in the way he properly looks Ghost over. “And I’d really like to compare those pictures to real life, if I’m honest.”

Ghost huffs. He grabs his towel and slings it over his shoulder before he’s moving toward the exit just behind Soap. Soap’s heart jumps as he gets closer, closing that distance, until Ghost is leaning down to Soap’s ear and murmuring, “I can make that happen.”

The lieutenant teases Soap’s hand, pretending to grab at it but stopping at a mere brush of fingers before he disappears out the door and leaves Soap to stand alone, dumbfounded.

But only for a moment. Because goddamnit if he isn’t immediately trailing Ghost to his quarters after that.

-

(taglist!! i didn’t forget i swear: @sketchscientist @crazy-phan-girl13 @crazies-unanimous @hanniballecterkinnie @lunainlove @lucibell-writes )

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

HELLO!

do you have any tlb headcannons for dates (both in canon and irl)?

what dates the characters would go on, I mean.

what would they do on their dates?

How often would they HAVE dates?

I can totally imagine Jack taking Alan on a date to a fancy restaurant while the latter complains the whole time. I can also totally imagine Edwin and Robin having little picnic dates at Sutton.

I know you have a hc about them going on a triple date, but I NEEED to know more of your thoughts. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee!

🙏 🙏 🙏

oh absolutely I do

immediately you’re so right about the restaurant thing. both modern and canon jack gets his way w going to some place expensive as Fuck like once every three months and is SO patronising about it (they pretend it’s a very long, laborious business meeting in canon to explain away why they’re passionately bickering over desert. jack is alarmingly good at switching from insulting alans intelligence and bloodline to his ideas about maximising profit without missing a beat when a waiter walks by). alan grumbles the whole time but it doesn’t stop him ordering the most expensive thing on the menu even if he isn’t 100% sure what it actually is, because hey, HE isn’t paying. he also enjoys getting dirty looks from everyone around him for doing something egregious (he picked up the wrong spoon or something) and jack finds watching it very entertaining (attractive)

in modern and canon they also go to the theatre pretty regularly, courtesy of jacks bank account and my theatre kid need to project. les mis is the staple in modern but they both prefer plays over musicals and just go and see whatever violet points them to. alan likes shakespeare (particularly the tragedies) and jack will watch pretty much anything (he likes to watch alans reactions when they see something he‘s already been to because he’s whipped)

oh robin and edwin little picnic dates is so real and true aswell, they’re basically that one maurice scene. edwin prefers the privacy of going out to sutton where it can just be the two of them though sometimes they’ll go out to london parks to. in modern they regularly go on little coffee shop dates even when they’re married (and still call them dates) because robin loves it very vocally and edwin loves it very quietly. they don’t really do restaurants because they’re overstimulating as Shit, and prefer quietly spending time together in more private settings.

modern museum dates to but its basically just parallel play <3 robin vanishes to the art sections and edwin is off in the history and science and they reconvene at the cafe to take turns yapping about what they saw. edwin retains some of what robin tells him, nothing so positive can be said for the reverse but edwin just likes having someone to talk at

violet and maud drag each other around london 24/7, going to whatever new oddity or show they can find. they do ANYTHING new, they just love exploring and spending that time together. they also do picnic dates that are a touch more extravagant than robin and edwin, and last a lot longer. in modern aquarium dates are very important and maud has a tendency to wander off if you don’t keep an eye on her

the triple date thing is Thee silliest shit in my head. it’s violets idea and she - alongside maud - are so enthusiastic that it’s impossible to say no. it’s usually in bars/sometimes restaurants and, as edwin points out, there’s very little difference between it and them just going out normally (“it is the THOUGHT behind it Edwin. The INTENT”). it’s just incredibly funny for them to see how the waitstaff interpret this very chaotic group who claim to all be on dates (people regularly assume violet and alan are dating, that’s the most common one. someone said something about robin and jack once and they haven’t lived it down).

[akutasoda]

HEY HI HELLO!!

May I request a fic (or headcanons if you want^^) with Ranpo and s/o that is sometimes taking his sweets or even stealing 'em? (To eat it ofcc) I thought that his reaction might be kinda funny because cmonn we all know Ranpo🥲

Anyways how are youuu, doing good?

(I think its my shortest ever request I have written for you woahh)

sweet tooth

synopsis - you both had quite the sweet tooth, maybe you couldn't help but steal a few sweets from him

includes - ranpo

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight crack, more fluff, wc - 1.1k

a/n: HIII! im doing well! hope you're doing well as well? hmm pretty sure this is the shortes but it's still an absolutely amazing idea

ranpo knew you had a sweet tooth like him, afterall it was one of your qualities he admired. initially, he always noted on the sweets you would often bring into the office or buy when out and about with him. as that way he could buy them as gifts for you when you started feeling down or unwell.

and it went both ways. the both of you could recite the others favourite sweets for each mood perfectly. so it was safe to say most of the time both sweet stocks never were empty - including the pile of sweets that were dedicated to sharing because that way it discouraged stealing from each other.

but sometimes exceptions happen. and one of those exceptions could involve you underestimating how much you had leftover in your pile. so it did come as a shock when you realised you had none left and ranpo could practically feel your dejection from his side of the agency.

he wasn't that bothered at skipping work for a quick snack run so he offered to run down to the local store and buy some to tide you over intil the end of the day - plus he could get some for him. and so you let him.

but for some reason it felt like he was taking longer than usual and your sweet tooth was all you could focus on. and as you glanced over at your lover empty desk all you could wonder was, he wouldn't mind right? surely he could sympathise with your situation and you were sure he'd do the same.

ranpo returned fairly quickly afterwards and immediately made his way to your desk. he set down a rather impressive bag filled with all your favourites and you thanked him and gave him a quick peck to his cheek before he retreated to his own desk with an equally impressive bag of goodies.

but ever since he sat down he couldn't helo but feel something was off, like something had happened while he was gone but quickly dismissed it as he thought that whatever it was most likely was insignificant and wouldn't be a major issue.

and days soon began passing as normal. everyday was practically the same routine with a few changes each time but nothing too taxing. but ranpo had developed a sort of itch in the back of his mind, something that started bothering him. and that was due to the fact that most tiimes he left his desk, he felt as if something went missing or something disappeared from his locker.

his conclusion came to something to do with you, but he didn't think it was and you always said you had no clue. but really you were feigning innocence. ever since you took one sweet from ranpo, you had started building a habit of nabbing one or two everytime you walked past his locker or desk that wasn't occupied.

you really meant nothing by it, it's just that your sweet tooth demanded you satisfy it. and if you were being honest you really thought he would've caught you by now so a part of it was wondering how far could you go before he caught you. and unsurprisingly it didn't take much longer.

ranpo had now knew that someone was taking his sweets and he really didn't have to think hard to pin it down to one person. you were the only one who had a sweet tooth that rivaled his and you knew the combination to his secret stash. but he felt so betrayed and he thought a suiting comeback would be to catch you in the act, rather than just mentioning it.

and so he plotted his attack. he started by waltzing toward your desk and acting as he normally did. dramatically expressing his boredom and whining about the amount of paperwork he had stacked on his desk while you continued yours but still paying full attention to his words. he eventually stopped slumping on your desk and got up telling you he was going to cure his boredom.

you waited a while, to make sure he was truly gone before you even looked in the direction of his desk. you could only sigh to yourself and think of what a distrustful habit you had picked up. but even that couldn't stop you from getting up and going along with your habits. but what you didn't know was that ranpo was ready and waiting by the door.

he was going to catch you this time. he waited until you reached his desk and began looking before he jumped out. he attracted the attention of many agency members and nearly gave you a heart attack. you knew you were going to never hear the end of this.

he marched over to you and whined about how betrayed he was, how deeply distraught he had become eith this information. you apologized profusely, saying it was only meant to be a one off but you just couldn't help yourself. but he only huffed at your answer and pushed you back to your desk.

you could only sigh yourself as you sat down and watched him sit at his desk, before looking back at you and sticking his tongue out. you then proceeded to grab something under your desk before walking back over to his desk and hiding it behind your back.

but as you reached his desk he swung round in his chair to face the other way. now you had to hold back your laughter. so instead you sighed pulling out the item behind your back and saying how you were going to hand him it as an apology but now you might keep it for yourself.

this caught ranpo's attention back and he glanced out the corner of his eye. turns out during your break you had went down to a favourite balery of his and brought their new limited item to hand him after work. but now you were using it as a barganing chip.

he swing all the way back around and tried snatching it off you but you pulled it away and told him the only way he could get it was to accept your apology.

he really couldn't be mad at you for long, especially with such an apology gift waiting for him. so he accepted it and received the second part of his reward. he thanked you and started scolding you saying next time he wont forgive you. you justt laughed and said you'd keep that in mind but the both of you knew the other would forgive for something like this.

[thetomorrowshow]

Whumptober 24 - Radiation Posioning

title: all days come down to one clear pane

fandom: hermitcraft

cw: hospital setting, possibly terminal illness

~

“Well, hey there, Bdubs,” Beef greets cheerfully, tightening the ties on his apron. “Here for another round of TCG?”

Bdubs doesn’t respond right away. He stares at Beef for a long moment, standing several feet away, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Hey, Beef?” he says eventually.

There’s something . . . something not quite right about the look in Bdubs’s big eyes. A dull, unfocused quality, like he isn’t all there.

“Yeah?”

“Did we eat something funny, last night?” asks Bdubs. “Because I’ve been feeling . . . not good.”

The NHO had grabbed dinner together the night before, and while it had been fairly cheap, greasy food, Beef’s been feeling all right. Out of all of them, Bdubs has one of the strongest stomachs. It would be weird for him to have a reaction, out of all of them.

“How so?”

Bdubs’s dull eyes dart from right to left. “I threw up,” he says. “Twice.”

Beef hums. “Well, I’ve been feeling fine. Did you ask Etho and Doc?”

“No.”

“Are you feeling sick any other way?”

Bdubs considers that question, his head tilting slightly to the side. “I’m . . . my body hurts,” he says, after a moment of consideration. “Like, aches. Is that normal?”

“It sounds like it could be a flu,” Beef says, taking a subtle step back. “Maybe you should go lie down.”

“I just had the flu a couple weeks ago,” Bdubs argues. “I feel . . . I dunno. I haven’t been feeling great all day, I’ve been kind of sick, but I was okay last night—”

His words speed up, voice louder and louder as he speaks, and one hand snakes out of his pocket and up to his hair, where it starts pulling. Beef grimaces—they’ve been trying to break Bdubs of his hair-pulling habit for years, but it always creeps back. Before he can mention it, though, his hand comes away.

With a tuft of hair.

Bdubs—

He wasn’t pulling too hard, was he? He just kind of pulled a little bit. He shouldn’t have been able to pull out a whole tuft of his own hair, like a dog blowing out its coat.

Bdubs doesn’t seem to notice. He lets the hair fall to the ground, runs his hand over his head. There’s some other thin patches, Beef notices, and that worries him just as much as the bandage wrapped around Bdubs’s hand.

Why is it bandaged?

“—been weird,” Bdubs says, “and I don’t like it.”

“Why don’t you lie down,” Beef suggests again. He forces his voice to be as calm as possible. He doesn’t want to freak out Bdubs, as strangely as he’s acting. “You can use my bed. I’ll bring you something to drink, okay?”

Bdubs frowns, but nods his agreement. He heads off in the direction of Beef’s bed, his bandaged hand still buried in his hair.

Beef watches him go for a moment, then pulls out his communicator.

There’s something very, very wrong about Bdubs. He’s going to need some help.

-

“When did this start?” Doc asks, examining Bdubs’s hand.

It looks bad. It looks really bad, from Beef’s point of view.

His left hand, now bereft of wrappings, doesn’t quite look like a hand. Well, it’s the right shape and everything, but his skin is just . . . wrong. Peeled-away and reddened, the fresh skin under the peeled back of his hand bubbly with blisters. The skin around the patch is discolored, several shades lighter than Bdubs’s usual pigment.

Bdubs shrugs. “I dunno. Um, it’s been kinda getting worse all week.”

“And you didn’t say something?” Doc says, shocked.

“I thought it would get better!”

“Goodness, Bdubs,” Xisuma says. “You can’t dig into a radiation site and expect to just get better.”

“When did you first enter the site, again?”

Bdubs’s face scrunches up; his eyes still hold that glassy look to them. “Um . . . two weeks ago? I haven’t been back since, promise.”

Two weeks ago.

Beef doesn’t know much about radiation poisoning, but if Bdubs made contact with it two weeks ago, how is it that only now he’s realized something’s wrong?

“We’ll have to take him off-world,” Xisuma’s murmuring. “Get him a proper doctor.”

Doc, usually quite defensive of his doctorate, doesn’t argue. He just drags a suitcase out from under Bdubs’s bed and cracks it open, dumping out whatever he finds within. Then he takes it over to Bdubs’s wardrobe, starts throwing random articles of clothing into it.

“I’ll come with,” Beef volunteers, and Xisuma nods gratefully toward him.

Then, because Beef is not just going to come with for the day, he leaves as well, donning a pair of elytra and flying back to his own base.

By the way Doc was packing, he thought that this was going to be a long stay.

Beef will stay with him. And then he’ll bring Bdubs home, and everything will be okay.

-

Bdubs gets sick on day two of his hospital stay.

The staff hadn’t quite known what to do with him—they’d never had a patient with ARS, and they’d had to call in a specialist from another world. That specialist had taken one look at the hospital room—Bdubs on the bed, Beef sitting beside him, Doc pressed against the window and Xisuma taking the forefront—and had immediately ushered them all out.

“His immune system is destroyed right now,” she’d scolded, sending them to the room next door to don protective gowns and masks and gloves. “We can’t risk him getting sick.”

Bdubs had watched them go, uncharacteristically quiet.

The doctor was right. His immune system was destroyed. He wakes up with a chest cough on the second day, and by that afternoon his temperature has climbed to feverish heights.

Beef doesn’t know what to do. He isn’t sick—he quarantined for twenty-four hours and tested negative for every illness in the book, just to be able to sit with Bdubs. He’d expected it to be pretty chill—maybe he could get some drawing done, talk with his friend about any remaining plans for what was left of the season.

Now he sits further away than he would have liked, over in the seat by the window, watching as Bdubs’s chest rises and falls weakly under his hospital gown.

They’re going to intubate him soon if he doesn’t start getting more oxygen. Whatever this bug is has ravaged his lungs in the brief time he’s been ill with it, making his body even weaker and more susceptible to the radiation devastating his cells from the inside.

He doesn’t even look like himself. Bdubs’s hair is more patchy than before, what remains limp and unbrushed. His face is scruffy, bags under his eyes oily, his closed eyes fluttering now and then. The hospital gown fits loosely around him, his entire collarbone showing in an unwelcome display of vulnerability. His right arm is hooked up to a pouch of fluids and pain medication, the occasional click from the IV stand breaking the silence.

He doesn’t look a thing like how Bdubs is supposed to look. It’s like the life has been drained out of him as steadily as the IV drips into his bloodstream.

“Zedaph’s going to be jealous,” Beef says after a long moment, trying anything to make the scene less wrong.

The only sign that Bdubs has heard him is a tiny cough.

“I think he was, like, looking for radiation. And you found it on accident. He’ll probably do a Zedvancement on you when you get back.”

That gets a huff of a laugh. Bdubs doesn’t open his eyes.

Beef bites his lip. “Doing any better than this morning?”

Bdubs’s throat works. “A bit,” he rasps, voice barely there. This triggers a couple more coughs, his frame shaking.

They’re probably going to intubate him. They don’t want to, afraid that he’ll struggle to get off oxygen if they put him on it, but this is only the first day of illness and they’re already discussing it. Unless he gets better overnight, Bdubs is going to end up with a tube down his throat.

He looks so weak.

They’ve determined that he came in contact with the radioactive material about twenty-five days ago. He’s moving out of what they called the ‘latent period’, and the loss of hair means that he’s had higher exposure than they would have liked.

They said that his chance of survival is around 50%.

That is way, way too low. Probably lower with the illness that he’s caught. Beef sat in the window seat for about an hour as Bdubs napped and calculated possible percentages—with a mean of 50, if one assumed that each illness was one standard deviation below the mean, and say the standard deviation was 12—maybe even bigger—

Well, with that model, Bdubs’s chance of survival is 38%.

And with each passing hour, Beef can’t help but think that Bdubs’s score gets lower and lower.

-

They do end up intubating him. It helps him get through the cold that’s ravaging his system, but he’s too weak to get off supplemental oxygen afterwards. Beef is the only Hermit allowed to visit, and only dressed to the nines in PPE.

“You’ll be back in business in no time,” Scar says over a video call. Scar in particular is banned from visiting, even just to drop something off. “You’ve been lotioning your nose? That cannula will give you nosebleeds like nothing before!”

“Yeah,” Bdubs manages. “And then they don’t stop bleeding.”

His blood isn’t clotting very well. He’s had three nosebleeds so far, and every one of them has been an emergency.

The specialist doesn’t say it, but if he keeps bleeding, Bdubs’s chances of survival will keep dropping.

“When are you coming back?” asks Scar. Bdubs shrugs. His arm is getting tired of holding up the communicator, Beef can tell.

“Dunno. When the radiation runs out. And then I have to do . . . more things.”

“Bone marrow transfusions, blood transfusions,” Beef calls. He hears Scar make a humming sound.

“Sounds fun.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if you need anything, let us know, okay? I’ve still got some cookies around somewhere—”

“Not Elven Surprise—”

“Oh, no, no, no, that probably wouldn’t be very nice at all! But I’ll see what I can do.”

Bdubs nods, clearly worn out, and Beef stands, taking the communicator from him and leaving the room.

He glances back into the room as he closes the door. Bdubs’s eyes are already closed, his head slumped on his shoulder.

Once he’s in the hall, Beef looks down at the screen. Scar’s face is staring up at him, naked concern painted all over it.

“He doesn’t look so good,” Scar says.

Beef shrugs. “He’s right on track for recovery.”

It’s what he’s told everybody who tried to come visit, or called. He told Ren that the doctor said it’ll be a long time, but he should be okay. He told Etho that they put him on oxygen as a caution, not a necesity. He told Doc that Bdubs spent all afternoon chattering about his next build.

He smiled and lied through his teeth to everyone, and he can and will do it again.

But Scar sighs. “I can take the truth, Beef.”

And Beef breaks down.

“He couldn’t afford to get sick,” he chokes out, his throat suddenly thick, tears already spilling from his eyes. “I—sorry, man, I don’t usually—but—before he got sick, he only had, like, a fifty percent chance—and now it’s worse—”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.”

“He might not make it,” Beef says, ugly and raw and heartbreaking. “I don’t know what—I don’t know what to tell everyone, it shouldn’t be me here, it should be Etho or Pungence or—”

“Nobody could do it better than you,” Scar tells him. “You’ve got this, dude. We’re all here for you.”

Logically, Beef knows that’s true.

But he’s the only one here. He only sees the others briefly, when they stop by to drop off food or clothes—and even then, he doesn’t talk to them. He sees them from the opposite end of the hallway (he sometimes helps Bdubs into a wheelchair and pushes him to the door of his room just to wave at their friends, at Ren and Pearl and Xisuma or whoever else stopped by) or waves to them from the window, and that’s it.

“What do I do?” he whispers after a long moment. He grabs a tissue from the nearby nurse’s station (and the nurse gives him a sympathetic half-smile), uses it to dab at his eyes.

“Just keep trying, man. I know Bdubs appreciates it. We all do.” Scar sighs, an edge of laughter to the sound. “If I could hug you right now, I would.”

Beef chuckles wetly. “Then I’d have to put on all new plastic. Thanks, but no thanks.”

Scar smiles. “Yeah. An imaginary one, then.”

Even imaginary, Beef supposes, Scar hugs are the best.

-

“You’ll pull through,” Beef whispers, Bdubs’s limp hand held in his own.

He doesn’t know if he’s talking to his friend or to himself.

Bdubs has barely been conscious for the past three days. Beef has ignored every buzz of his communicator since he first took a turn for the worse, ever since he came down with another fever.

“We’ve already done two months. We can’t just give up now.”

He’s been awake for going on forty-eight hours now, but he can’t sleep.

He can’t leave Bdubs.

He doesn’t get that choice, though, as just a half hour later, Bdubs’s heart monitor starts beeping incessantly, and then there’s people flooding the room and Beef is escorted out.

Then he sits on the tile floor of the hallway and sobs into his knees.

-

Intubation doesn’t look good on Bdubs a second time.

-

Every single day is a fight.

Beef starts being honest with Xisuma, trusting him to spread the word around Hermitcraft. Bdubs isn’t doing well, but the doctors are hopeful. He got sick again. They have to take treatment slower. He’s off oxygen during the day. He’s back on it. He can’t keep food down. He was able to take a short walk today. He loves the potted plant. His scans aren’t looking good. They’re adjusting the treatment plan. He wants pictures of everyone’s builds. He slept all day. He still can’t keep food down. They’re bringing in a therapist to talk to them both.

It’s after the last message that Xisuma again suggests they take turns staying with Bdubs. Beef is resistant to the idea at first, but Bdubs’s doctor says it would be fine with proper PPE, so he relents.

He doesn’t really sleep, the nights he spends away. It isn’t right to be on Hermitcraft, his bedroom devoid of the clicking of the IV and the clunking of the heart monitor.

“We’ve got it,” Xisuma reassures him. “Rest.”

But Beef can’t do anything without thinking of Bdubs and how he isn’t here, so he continues to assume the main responsibility of being there for him, through the ups and downs and fights that follow.

Right up to the end.

-

“That’s the last one?”

Those are the first words out of Bdubs’s mouth when he wakes up, mumbled and half-formed, his eyes not even quite open.

“The last round of conditioning,” Beef reassures him, squeezing his arm. “Then you have the transplant next week.”

“Then we go home.”

“Then we stay a couple more weeks to make sure it works.”

“And then.” “And then we go home, yep.”

A smile quirks Bdubs’s lips. “I miss it.”

“I know, bud.”

It’s been eight months.

Eight of the most touch-and-go, harrowing months that Beef has ever endured.

“You can keep sleeping,” Beef says, releasing his grip to just pat Bdubs’s arm. “Etho’s not taking my place for another couple hours.”

It’s almost over. Just the bone marrow transplant, then an observation period, then home. Six months of recovery from the radiation poisoning, then two months of conditioning to prepare his body to receive the bone marrow transplant.

Then now.

Then home.

The doctor had been nothing short of jubilant when it became clear that Bdubs was going to pull through. She had repeatedly told Bdubs how proud she was, how he withstood the odds and came out on the other side.

It was a 25% chance of survival, in the most dire moments. Despite a couple of scares early on, everything went as well as could be hoped for—the medication, the skin graft, the conditioning. It was terrifying, and still is (there are still far too many things that can go wrong), but Beef doesn’t shoulder the weight of it alone anymore. Over the past months, every other Hermit (bar Scar) has sat with Bdubs for at least a day. When no one could take his place, they brought him food and games and called to share stories.

Beef just sat with his friend whenever he could, as he had from day one.

Just as he is now, his hand still resting on Bdubs’s arm.

Beef smiles.

Bdubs, already asleep, snores.

Just a few more weeks. Then home.

[chaifootsteps]

"They're demons, it's Hell" was pretty much where my enjoyment from the show stemmed, back when all the characters were kind of shitty and terrible except maybe a glimmer of Moxxie's moral rejection of hurting a family (something that really doesn't jive after Exes and Ooohs). This is what made Stolas and Stella's dynamic so entertaining; Stolas was an absolute shit for cheating on his wife, estranging his daughter, and coercing Blitzo into their arrangement despite Blitzo's clear disdain for him. His song in Loo Loo Land suggested he must have been long lived and Octavia was to be his heir after what could have been a millennia of existence, he was a depraved noble looking for something exciting after his zest of life got dulled. Then you have Stella, scorned and furious that he cheated and slept with an IMP of all things with no propriety at all, publicly embarrassing her when Blitzo jumped from the window to her tea party. Her reaction was to call a hit on him! While he was sitting at the same table, perfectly capable of hearing her call the hit and not caring! Like it was a normal reaction! I thought that was NORMAL for higher class demons, that they were vile and did terrible things because they were demons! And that's what made it funny! It's not that the mantra is what's wrong with the show, it's that for being a show about Hell its real squirmy about just accepting the Always Sunny option of 'everyone is terrible and that's funny' philosophy, in a setting that is literally a place of eternal punishment and sin!

This. 100%.

The premise of Helluva Boss was that it was a funny show about morally bankrupt shitheads in Hell and the little slivers of goodness and humanity that occasionally shown through; Blitzo's love for Loona and his employees, Stolas's love for his daughter.

A big part of the problem, I think, is that Vivzie absolutely cannot stand the idea that anyone might dislike her favorite characters for any reason. Stolas can't be a hilariously terrible person, he can't even be a bad person who decides to be better, because that would mean people might criticize him and Vivzie can't allow that. Stella can't have nuance because then people might take her side over Stolas's, and Vivzie also can't allow that.

The show was fine, the mantra was fine, the problem is Vivzie.

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Szayel and mayuri (seperately ) with a reader who is as weird or weirder then them?

Fluff plz

A fun request. As we had spoken about, I made some changes to be a little more specific then just general headcanons so I hope you enjoy. Buckle up everyone this is a longer post.

Szayelaporro

Szayelaporro is a wild card on a good day, willing to do anything to achieve his goal it's a wonder that the other espada put up with him 

Then you came along, somehow just as weird and a times more concerning just for a very different reason 

Eating hallows is nothing new for an arrancar in fact it's incredibly common but a soul reaper or human doing that is...well unexpected to put it simply 

That's how Sazyelaporro had found you, a simple soul wandering around having come across what was left of a hollow your first thought was to bite

He finds it truly fascinating and wants nothing more in that moment then to learn how your mind works and oh it's nearly love at first sight

Szayelaporro is quick to rush over to you and then more or less demands that you come back with him 

This is not a question or a request yet you answer like its one and that just makes him more curious

" Why though?"  What do you mean why, because I said you would.  " Yes, but why do you need something from me? Will I get anything from coming with you?" Maybe. I haven't decided yet. " Okay!" 

So he brings you back with him and you become a companion

Working with him is an experience that's for sure, he's willing to give in to anything you want, be it an odd experiment solely because it sounds cool or having a bite of one of his fraccions

The latter request honestly got him a little worried but he still let you do it because why not, he also wanted to know what would happen if you ate one 

It was not pleasant tasting and it made you a bit sick 

He laughed at your suffering but still took care of you 

You get to be around for all his tests and such and truly having such an open and curious mind just makes him more excited for experiment time 

A truly reckless couple but man is he devoted to you and anything you want to know he will get answers for

Mayuri

You met thanks to Urahara who, like he had with Mayuri, brought you into the Research and Development Institute as a set of extra hands

What a bad idea that was, in some ways you were worse then Mayuri in other ways you where a delight to keep around

Urahara found it funny you both hated him so much and that seemed like the thing that made you get along

When Mayuri took over after Urahara left the weird not quite friendship continued and grew

He knew you were useful to keep around for as annoying as he thinks you can be Mayuri can admit you're helpful

Everything was fine until he started to learn more about you

Working with you means he has to learn some of your habits and well they are interesting to say the least

Constantly wanting to eat or lick things you should not, poking at already cut open experiments or wanting to mix things you think look nice

Not to mention how often you crouch beside him and just stare until he gives you some kind of reaction

It was annoying yes, hard to deal with but he found it almost unbearable when you weren't around

The weird looks and odd questions mixed with whatever action you choose to take that day become apart of his routine so when a day is missed or you just disappear on some random trip he's left more annoyed than normal

You became a constant he wanted to keep around for more than just scientific reasons for a while he claims the only reason is to make Nemu more productive

Perhaps because of how odd you are Nemu sees you as something akin to a mother, bing far nicer than Mayuri and with how often you both work together she gets attached and Mayuri will use that to keep you around more

Call him out on it, back him into a corner with a bright grin on your face and he'll start to crack, first anger then acceptance if you make it clear you like him

From then on the soul society must deal with the worst couple around, you two fit together great but no ones happy about it

With his love of morbid experiments and your encouragement and equally as morbid curiosities you two are a dangerous but somehow functional pair

And that's a wrap! Here I am once more finding out that writing for Szayelaporro is oddly easy. He's just fun whether he's mean or sweet he's just fun. So I hope this is what you wanted and thank you to everyone who's been waiting for me to upload again! I've got some stuff I've been working on so please look forward to that as well! ~ Lilly

[thebunniesgrim]

helluva boss’ humor really trips me up sometimes  

(long post like really long post i go off)

Because sometimes it plays with hell's society and makes funny jokes like the HR joke in Spring Broken. One thing that sticks out like a sore thumb is when it makes jokes or points fun at prudes in the universe. Which btw I don’t think this bad or anything it’s just something that pulled me personally out of the show. It’s still funny at the end of the day but!  

Like the normalcy of death, swearing, sex, innuendos and all that. like jokes that would make you or me pause for a second wouldn’t be such a deal to them and vice versa is funny. Honestly the M&M’s being in a loving relationship in hell as a joke is funny  

But the thing that trips me up is the way some demons in universe react to the jokes doesn’t make any since. I understand their reaction is a joke, but why did they have that reaction anyway? for example  

In the LooLoo Land episode a good joke was when Octavia said she was going to be sick then Moxxie panics going through different medications and pulls out a bunch of syringes full of morphine just to casually throw them into a baby stroller when Octavia says she wasn’t really sick. Hilarious and it shows the human and demon side of moxxie love it. Although in the same episode Blizto says he isn't a day hooker and the lady walking by judges him and he calls her a prude. Funny yes! But why does she care like girl he has a whole gun and that’s what you choose to be concerned about? Ok. I understand her being shocked is the joke but why is she? In a place where being a hooker is possibly the most normal thing to them as being lawyer is to you or me. Why such a strong reaction?  

(Stolas has green screen arms lol)

Even the newest Mammon ep in Fizz’s “two weeks' notice or whatever it's called” song when he say “spending life bent over with your fist in my ‘A’” and the crowed is like shocked or put off by it like sure maybe they just weren't expecting it but he literally says bent over and even shakes his little imp ass at them while setting up the joke. It could have also been that they were surprised he censored himself. I don’t know, do you know?  

Also, I must say hell born demons don’t have to be always ok with sex jokes. A little verity never hurts anybody. just Like Moxxie not very violent or having his limits is fine and also Striker being uncomfortable or not liking that everyone makes sex jokes at his expense is kind of funny it's of the same caliber of funny that the M&M’s gimmick has. I also think he doesn’t like the sex jokes because he doesn’t have control of the situation (or Stolas, Moxxie, and Fizz just aren't his type who knows lol) he was more than ready to diddle Biltzo’s holes if it meant he’d join Striker. Also, he didn’t seem to mind the other imps fawning over him even if he did kick that one girl in the face. Kind of like a you can look but don’t touch kind of thing. He likes or deals with the jokes until he can't control the situation and it's like come one dude, I'm trying to kill you cower before me plz :( you feel me? Like that makes since because it can be explained away with, their character but seeing as it’s not a social norm so when others who we don’t know and are supposed to show the status quo do it, it’s a little bit weird you know?  

This also applies to Helluva Boss in general not just jokes. It’s honestly hard to tell what's allowed in hell and what isn't sometimes even for jokes because you know how a lot of people were weirded out at the kid being at the clown pageant and everyone is like “dude its hell they don’t have the same type of morals as we do” but also have people in the show react to sex or taboo stuff like it's weird you know? Like yes, I expect hypocrisy in the world of hell like a whole “rules for thee but for me” kind of thing. It is hard to stay true to that when the rules aren’t enforced?  because one second, you’ll have Loona and Blizto making fun of Moxxie for being “fat”, but you also want me to care when Mammon calls Fizz fat. I'm supposed to take Loona beating up Blizto as a joke but once Stella raises a hand to Stolas, I'm supposed to be like oh no abuse! 

Speaking of abuse. Mammon is just Blitzo cranked up to eleven. They are practically the same character given what the show tells us. What Blitzo does to Moxxie is the same thing Mammon does to fizz only cranked up to nine. Mammon says things that make Fizz worry I.e. “ready to reclaim your win another year... I saw your competition and it's pretty stiff, right? You are going to have try extra hard” remember in “The Harvest Moon Festival” ep where Blizto says “now just remember your rep with the in laws is on the line here so, no pressure at all you totally will not make an ass of yourself in front of everyone important in your life” he totally did that on purpose. How about when Mammon calls Fizz a “a bit chungo”? blitzo in seeing stars “you know it wouldn’t kill ya to put a salad in your body every now and then” and he says it meaner. He even encourages Loona to also call moxxie fat so while it’s still Loona doing it Blizto not telling her to chill out or something and there by condoning it, but he has the nerve to clutch his stupid little pearls (also blitzo isn't Wareing his mom little necklace thing in ep) when Mammon does the same thing.

The fuck is that face for you slimy little bitch?  

Mammon says sexually charged stuff to Fizz that is very obviously making him uncomfortable but disregards it like its nothing? “The more they’ll want a piece of you they can home and fuck! Don’t you want that Fizzy? to be fucked?” Then Fizz said no, and he disregarded it. Blizto in Murder Family, Harvest Moon, Truth seekers, Ex's and Ohs when he makes a big deal about someone having sex with both Moxxie and Millie and then making a big deal at the fact that he, Moxxie and Millie have had sex with the same person also maybe Ozzie's when he says he watches the M&M get it on but it's hard to gaze if Moxxie’s reaction was surprise, disgust or both. Mammon calls Fizz a “a stupid little [HONK]” Blizto calls Moxxie “a fucking disgrace” in Unhappy Campers but to be fair I make it an active effort to forget that ep is canon so. Mammon puts Fizz in a situation he can't handle, which leads to a panic attack. Blizo in the first ep Murder Family where Moxxie doesn’t want to kill Martha because he doesn’t want to kill a mother and ruin a family and is openly hesitant and uncomfortable about it causing him to have a small panic and mess up the mission at first. Mammon tells fizz to get his shit together with the underlying threat of firing, terminating, or worse. Murder family Blitzo says “But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife”. Both BLizto and Mammon treat Fizz and Moxxie all buddy buddy when they do stuff, they want but when they don’t comply or might not do something they don’t like they get mean or aggressive. They only main differences is that Moxxie can talk back to Blizto in a way and fizz can't. Also, Fizz actually quits, and escapes his horrible boss.  

I know that the pilot isn't cannon but it’s the blueprint of the characters and Blizto being abusive to moxxie sexually and verbally being a constant throughout the pilot and the canonized show is just... icky 

The show will tell me that imps and hellhounds are at the bottom of society but also have them stand up to the deadly sins like it no big deal. Loona tried to fight Beelzebub, Crimson tried to bribe and blackmail Asmodeus, Fizz stands up Mammon (as he should but Mammon could have literally tuned him into a smoothie) like the deadly sins are the next things to gods and these low-level nobodies are trying to square up. Not only does it make the deadly sins look like total wusses, but it also makes hellhounds and imps look more powerful than they are. Striker saying royals' step all over imps and treat them horribly and other than stella literally throwing Pringles and referring to him as “this one”

but Stolas literally uses Pringles as like a phone stand in Seeing Stars so.... 

The only ones who we’ve seem treat the imps like that on a regular basis are other non-royal hell born demons like the twins in Mammons ep. The lady and her kid in the doctor's office in western energy, the hellhound bodyguards in The Circus and even other imps like how Millies family treat Moxxie because he’s traditionally strong, or how striker thinks that he and blizto are far better then they’re own kind. Sure, the imps are butlers, purse accessories, and work on farms to feed the other rings. Other than the farm thing other demons do too from what we’ve seen. Also, from what we have seen, the royals are so detached from imps it seems like Strikers’ biggest problem is other demons themselves. The only royal we see talk down to imps is Stolas. Stella, Andrealphus, Paimon, never says much about them or even addresses them in any kind of way that’s outright negative, it’s more or less just plain indifference. I mean even the 7 deadly sins (that we’ve met so far) don’t say anything about imps in a derogatory way mammon doesn’t, Bee calls Blitzo “Imp boy” but not in a mean way, and Asmodeus call Moxxie “little imp” which seems more teasing than mean.  

Ok look if I'm to take the hell hierarchy seriously then please play by your rules. I-ok so like are the sins a force to be reckoned with or not? Because they just seem like regular demons but bigger. You're telling me the second blizto get nabbed by the DORK agents Stolas is out here cracking necks and summoning himself in blood to save him 

But nothing was done to save fizz?  

“It was hostage situation” ok and? Asmodeus is a sin he could have pulled a Stolas and posseted one of Crimsons goons and shot or incomposite striker and crimson. You have almost infante power and you can't save your boyfriend and work colleague? And if demons can't be possessed then send Stolas in exchange for the crystal. Crimson doesn’t know about Stolas, and it would surprise him stolas can turn into his big bird form in hell and did in Seeing Stars. ALSO why is everyone just standing up to and trying to pick fights with the Sins? Like guys I get it I really do but please realistically you're going to get smooshed like bug 

I'm constantly being told that Stolas and Blitzo can't be together while Beelzebub and Asmodeus can be with Vortex and Fizz. With no real in show reason as to why? You can address its hypocrisy all you want but you still never gave a reason as to why one is ok and other isn't. Stolas is Royality and can't date outside his rank? And the 7 deadly sins are of a different rank than him so it's different. How so? Why does Asmodeus need it to keep him and fizz a secret? if a god was dating a regular person, what could you possibly do about it? Also, if Asmodeus needs to keep his relationship a secret, then why doesn’t Beelzebub? If it because Beelzebub’s relationship corresponds to her sin how so? How is dating someone not of your rank gluttonous or indulgent? Unless Bee is a serial dater, and I don’t think she is how so? Also, Asmodeus dating Fizz does correspond to his sin he’s the over seer of lust and lust doesn’t stop at rank or class. If them being romantic is the problem, then they could lie and tell everyone that him and fizz are just fuck buddies or they're in an open relationship where they are ok with each other sleeping around but they don’t do it. They’re already business partners; it wouldn’t be a stretch if the literal ruler of lust would want to sleep with someone regardless of their rank and whether or not they work for them. Plus, they do openly say they are fucking each other while Ozzie's workers are near so them having sex isn't the problem.  

Ok so like ya’ll know the live action Grinch movie? And you know that one part where the grinch is the holiday chair mister and the who's are giving him a bunch of food even after he's full and his face is full of food, but they keep shoving more in his mouth? Yeah, that is what watching helluva boss is like sometimes you know?   

It's like a barrage of information or nothing 

Anyways  

this show is ride and then some lol granted this doesn’t really make or break the show for me honestly, it's just that the more the show tells me one thing it’ll go through hell (heh) to make it, so it doesn’t matter anymore, and it only brings up more questions. Like if something isn't allowed then make it so don’t just tell me oh that’s not allowed but is but it’s a problem but I'm not going to tell you why or what the problem is just trust me look at the cute couples don’t look anywhere else don’t worry about it  

I know you’re probably asking yo why are you questioning it I'm just a confused fan and I want the show I like to make since is that such a tall order? 

[sunnyupsidedown]

Thoughts On: The Sunshine Court

by Nora Sakavic [goodreads]

Aka, if I didn't put myself on a social media blackout, these would have been my live tweets. Spoilers below.

Gosh. What if Jeremy starts to hate Kevin for not doing 'enough' to help Jean. That’d probably hurt him so bad lmao Though I don't really thing Jeremy gives off those vibes. He's too sunny.

Also, now I’m thinking of Jeremy being a very normal kid with a normal background completely unprepared to help someone with absolutely massive amounts of trauma. Like. This kid being like, look at my normal jock life and then suddenly is exposed to the dark underbelly of organized crime.

Like. With Andrew and Neil, Neil was already familiar and Andrew at least is familiar with how bad law enforcement is so it’s all a non-issue. Jeremy though… what’s his story???

Jean over here probably texting with T9 on a flip phone

Which fox uses T9, which one taps the number until it gets to the letter they want, and which one has a phone with a keyboard?

Have I mentioned that I love Renee? I feel like she’s often seen as an uwu good girl Christian. But like. She’s so badass. I think she said it herself that she’s a bad person doing her best to be good and you really get that with the “smile that doesn’t reach her eyes”. Fucking love her.

Okay the uni president thing is actually kind of funny. Because I work in an athletic department and it reminds me of when the president requested access to the team practice schedules so I was in charge of setting up an account in our messaging app with the instructions to grant him access but with absolutely no power to do anything else

Do you think Renee will put "Destabilized Evermore leading to its eventual downfall" on her resume when she applies to the Peace Corps? I know this is not how it works but....

We’re going to see the reaction to Riko’s death from Jean’s POV!!! I wrote a ficlet about this!! It’s gonna be so cool to see what really happens!!

Wtf Jean’s 19?!?!

I'm saying this like everything that happened to him wouldn't have been just as horrifying if he were Kevin's age. But like. WTF??? He's Neil's age!!

LMAO everyone wants to choke Kevin out

“You were injured in a scrimmage” DAMN. I did not expect that from Abby. She's so done with Jean's evasions

I was being kind of mean to Kevin earlier and now I’m going to cry. He was just doing his best too :( what can you do when you’ve been raised in the system?

Kevin, Neil, and Jean are in the idiot exy trio

It’s so fascinating to know that this was the version where Jean lived because you can see the parts where his life could have ended. Like if Abby left the pills. If Jean made it back to Evermore. If Wymack didn’t threaten Tetsuji.

The way that they’re (Neil is) playing 5D exy mafia chess is so extra 😭

Everyone really looking to Neil for their courage. Neil was brave so I can be brave (or at least follow him). What would Neil do?

Do you think the other exy coaches know exy was built on blood? Or at least that Evermore was?

Jean and Kevin in the corner at the party full of Ravens: They don’t know the extent of Riko’s violence

I’m starting to realize that Jean is a lover... [Redacted: This is getting it's own post because I have feelings about this.]

JEREMY!! HELLO!! I DON'T KNOW YOU. ARE YOU DEPRESSING TOO?

Jeremy is so normal. This is going to be so good. He’s literally going to be like “why did you say it like that? You know that’s fucked up right?” Call it like it is my dude!!

How the hell did they get the seniors on board with a smaller line up? They’re giving up a chance at a championship run... Ah.

Oh. He’s rich?? Jeremy is rich? With a butler? Is he secretly going to be tied to the west coast mafia? And taking Jean on will create a bond between east and west?

OH HE’S POLITICIAN RICH. Damn. You know there's blood money somewhere

Are you telling me that the sunshine court is a nickname between Kevin and Jean (and maybe some others? I don't remember if it was ever mentioned in the other books) for USC? And it’s typically called the Gold Court? Cause if so, they’re soooo starved

Do you think Jean knows (or remembers) how to use money? Since he’s been locked up in the Nest for so long? How many social norms has he forgotten? How awkward is he going to be relearning them?

Oh god. Jean found out from Jeremy! Holy shit I was not expecting that. Damn. Also. He's alone :(

Renee and Jean 😭

I’m so glad they talked about redshirting. I was SO confused why they could go five years when the rule is 5 years to compete 4 seasons.

Radiology equipment in their exy stadium?? Man I forget how rich some schools are

Watch Jean break out in hives the moment he gets on clothes that are outside the monochrome color scheme

Oooo Jeremy, show me your spine. I want to see him mad. I want to see him lose control.

And then I forgot I was taking notes because I was too absorbed. When is the next book supposed to come out again?

[party-gilmore]

absolutely wild learning about my austistic leanings later in life because like

my parents just thought i was “eccentric” and found me rather entertaining, weirdness and all (plus their own probably undiagnosed AuDHD making their benchmark for normal skewed anyway) and my mon specifically was always so “mever change for anyone just be you�� from a very young age so i just…

never experienced the concept of masking i guess?

Not as masking, I mean.

i would read accounts from autistic people talking about their experiences and struggles and pressure to conform and masking and the mental effects thereof and i would feel empathy because i “went through similar issues” but i th

i thought i was just being bullied for being Weird. just in general. like kids do. that this was a case of “well this sounds a lot like what i go through, but im not actually autistic so it probably isnt my place to join the conversation.”

it just never clicked that, “um. hi. these are the exact same behaviors you do. and there were moments in your life that almost led you to masking. because thats what it would’ve been. masking. but your dumb ass thought it wouldve just been ‘changing how you act and who you are in order to be bullied less’ which okay TECHNICALLY yes that is an accurate if watered down description of masking too, but.

Then you refused to on principle, because bullying is bad and fuck you and got angry about it to the point of overcompensating and INCREASING your Behaviors (tm) until you completely skipped over one of the key experiences that wouldve helped you identify with other people on the spectrum later in life.”

I just rolled through life like a steamroller of righteous, spiteful confidence that my preferences and actions were nobody’s business but my own and vice versa unless they clearly and directly affected others - so much so that I never actually set any kind of benchmark pattern for the way (NT) people around me act.

So I never had a benchmark for masking.

like im going back through all my memories of friendships that soured because i took everything at face value instead of trying to read deeper into cues. because I would always just say what i wanted people to know, straight up. like if i wanted attention i would ask for it if i wanted them to know i was hurt i would tell them. That made so much sense to me i assumed that was the norm. Because clearly. Thats logical. and obvious. So certainly other people are doing the same.

I got blinsided a LOT by the games my school friends and later some early adult friends played, yeah, but AGAIN (see: steamroller of self confidence) I simply assumed that was THEIR problem, not mine, and just… grieved the friendship and hoped for their sake they’d eventually sort their shit out 🤣

I literally thought they were the ones having difficulty with social contracts and cues and relationships.

Then over the past couple years the more I see accounts from other people in the AuDHD spectrum, like “yeah neurotypicals actually [thing i had been assuming was just an asshole trait for years without questioning it], heres what they really mean and a good script for responding” and “its funny how i [exact behavior i did for years] and no one realized i was austistic till later” im like… 🙃

And the last kicker was the post about food touching with the tag response “sometimes masking your autistic traits ends up more autistic than the unmasked trait” and my gut reactions were, in order:

…why would you bother to mask that, why is the way you eat anyone elses business?

i mean i guess it would ease up the pressure a bit, i got bullied for that too, i can see how maybe you wouldnt want to have to put… up with…

…

oHHHH SHIT IS THAT WHAT IT WOULDVE BEEN. IF I HADNT BEEN SO ANGRY ABOUT BEING ASKED TO CHANGE. IT WOULDVE BEEN MASKING. IF I’D KNOWN WHAT THAT WAS. THIS WHOLE TIME.

its just… its just been a series of months of me shaking my head and realizing my entire life has been that meme like “Am I having difficulties connecting socially??? No, it is everyone else who is wrong.”

🤣 girl help

[prettyboykatsuki]

ohhHh hi it is specialgradefckr from the other day! asking on anon because my main blog is in a completely unrelated fandom that i've totally lost the love for lmao.

honestly it was such a mood seeing your reaction bc YES. it was weird!! it was DIFFERENT! it was Some Kinda Mood going on in that fic!!!

sometimes you just. get a neat little idea. a little corner with all these nooks and crannies to mess around in. you light up and you just GO. and what comes out of it seems kinda weird, definitely not what you'd normally write but GUESS WHAT!!

this world has a place for funny little fics! weird stuff!! what is the POINT of being a writer if you are not making your dolls take off their clothes and smash after a suicide attempt and discussions of sexual slavery???

i actually came across your work wayyyy back when i first got into jjk. i read "How To Be A Dog" and i still don't know what to say about it.

the best way to describe my feelings towards that fic is that it's like i got there late to the party. there's some meat left on the bones i haven't eaten. i don't think i've gotten everything out of it.

for example, i had to re-read some sections over again to fully parse what was going on with the reader's curse (i think it was a snake and i am saying that from memory, scout's honor). and the fic spends a lot of time in gojo's POV, which I very much enjoyed!

but most fanfics, especially reader-inserts, stick to the reader POV and are written to be much more immediately digestible than other forms of fiction. you know the characters, you know the setting, let's get to the MEAT of it.

but your fic was like, the type where you really need to Pay Attention to each and every line, because each line does contribute something distinct to the characters or tone. it was so DENSE and i was NOT prepared to run into that while cheerfully looking for noncon gojo/reader porn skjfhglhdsg.

it's rare to find a fic that goes that hard. like if you want your fic to be That Deep you gotta commit to it, you know? and you don't have to do that for a fic to be good or enjoyable, you just do it For The Art, because you see what the fic could be and you want it to be that way. kudos to you.

it was an amazing work of fiction. maybe one day i will have the attention span to read the whole thing and actually feel like i'm understanding everything and the fic will stop haunting me whenever i think about it

anyways apologies for rambling in your inbox, i do hope you don't think i'm too weird lmao i just really like writing and fics. thank you for sharing yours <3

SDFKJSDJKFSDKJ i agree!!

i think like. i love the genre of absurd stuff so much in my media consumption but ive always had a hard time finding space for it in fanfiction. so writing that gojo dark comedy fic was an attempt to make some room for it and try my hand out and it ended up being a person favorite piece despite how insane it is

so i was really happy hearing other people enjoyed it and were rececptive to it bc really whats the point if you can't go and write something completely insane just for shits and giggles you know. sometimes u get a neat little idea and u just gotta go ham on it i agree

ALSO AAAAA !! A HTBAD READER IN THE WILD.... htbad is like. genuinely my magnum opus at least to me. its one of those things where i dont think im ever going to fully recover from it so when people tell me they've read it i automatically feel super emotional.

it is . super high praise to hear that you feel like you get something from it every time you read the fic. im not much of a planner but i really did pour my soul into each and every line of that thing so it means the world that it comes through!!

CHEERFULLY LOOKING FOR GOJO NONCON JHHDSJFKSD WELL YES ... i understand though i think that fic tends to jumpscare ppl in a similar way all the time since its extremely heavy tonally. it was definitely a fic i wrote For The Art if nothing else and definitely a fic i incidentally poured a lot into it. it genuinely always means the world to me to hear good things about it and im so so so elated to hear you talk so highly about it.

THANK YOU FOR READING. AND FOR LEAVING ME SUCH A KIND MESSAGE. i was basically dead on my feet last night trying to do anything but i was extremely happy seeinf this before bed. i hope today is kind to u

[little-cereal-draws]

My critique on the new spiderverse movie

It was good. I enjoyed it. But I do have a few things I would have done differently.

The most impressive thing in my opinion was the art. It was gorgeous, that goes without saying. The different styles, the textures, the lighting, every single little thing. I loved Gwen’s universe especially; how they water colored/blended the background during the emotional parts and how she was always the opposite color from the environment while her dad blended in. All the beautiful little tricks they did to help develop the characters like that. And then putting her mask motif behind her or having the background run like there was real water on it was so cool. I could watch it over and over without the sound and never get bored. It’s a visual feast.

I loved the extreme wide shots too. When Miles and Gwen are looking at the skyline, when Miles and his dad are talking by the portal rubble in the beginning, etc. When in the middle of a conversation, the characters are tiny little specks, and you can stop and appreciate the setting. Movies don’t normally do that in the middle of scenes; I liked it.

Or when they paneled it like a comic so you can see what multiple characters are doing at once. I don’t think it was as successful during the fight scenes because there was so much going on that I had no idea what was happening. But it worked very well in the slower scenes and really highlighted those emotional beats. Like when Gwen is unpacking a bag on her bed while talking with her dad at the beginning. They split the screen so you could see a full body shot on her dad but get a close up on her reactions at the same time. That was genius.

The acting was also phenomenal. All the dialogue sounded so natural and conversational. The emotional scenes were emotional and the funny scenes were funny. Everybody served. I loved the little background comments characters would make during conversations; it sounded very realistic. I would love to see more animated movies like that.

The writing… was good. I felt like for the most part it was really strong but this is where I start having problems. I felt that most of the movie was good but the pacing in Miles' arc felt weird. After his mom gave him that speech about loving himself and not letting people make him feel like he doesn’t belong, I was like 'ok that’s what he’s going to learn in this story, that’s the moral.' But he seemed to instantly get it and not have any problems until way later. Like it could’ve been easy to start having him feel intimidated by all the other spider-people or doubt himself after seeing Gwen doing all these cool things without him. He would feel bad for a while but ultimately realize that he is special/important/loved when fighting Miguel on the train and have the confidence to tell his parents he’s spiderman after. Instead, he was confident through the whole thing, was mildly jealous of the other spidermen, had a very brief crisis of faith after the Miguel fight, but seemed to get over it really quickly when he talked with his mom? Like he was telling her how strong he was but I felt like it didn’t mean very much because even though we saw him beat up all these people, it never felt to me like he felt weak. He never doubted himself, he just did it.

But I can’t judge his arc in its entirety because it’s not finished yet. I wasn’t expecting a cliffhanger and I don’t really like it. I was excited to see him fight Spot and save his dad but it never came. I was hoping that he would tell his parents he’s spiderman, they wouldn’t believe him, he would save them from Spot with help from his new friends, him and Gwen would show Miguel it’s ok if not everything follows canon, and Miles' parents would accept him, the end. That’s what I was expecting. Instead, they started another plot line with evil Miles? Like… I’m not opposed to that, I think it’s a really interesting idea, but I don’t know how it ties into the main plot. Maybe this is what causes Miles to have a crisis of faith in the next movie? idk, we'll just have to wait and see.

The next thing is the villains. I loved Spot, he was the perfect counter to the spidermans' mid-battle banter. His introduction was so funny, his powers are really cool, and his design is unsettling; the perfect villian formula. But the one thing I wished they expanded on was his backstory. He explained how his whole life was ripped apart by Miles but it felt like a very typical villain backstory to me. I wish that we, and Miles, got to see it rather than just get told it. Like in the first movie, we saw Kingpins' family and how much he cared about them and it gave a clear motive to his actions. I want to actually see the repercussions of Miles' actions because just being told. It gives a reason for Spot's actions but it's super easy to forget and think he's being evil for the sake of being evil. I don't know where they would have included that in the movie though so maybe I'm being too harsh. Also why is he going after Miles? Peter B and Gwen were also there for the bagel incident. Until I see how Miles specifically screwed over his life, I feel like his backstory could be fleshed out a bit more.

Now I want to talk about Miles' fight with Miguel on the train. This is no fault of either of their characters or the writing in that scene, but I missed a lot of what they were saying. The battle was so fast (jumping on cars, swinging underground, flying, flashing colors, different art styles, etc) and there were so many different characters on screen that I was focusing so hard on what I was seeing that I missed most of what they were saying. This might just be a me thing, I asked my sister and she said she understood that whole scene perfectly, but I would have changed that sequence. Either slow down the chaos of the fight a bit or have the big emotional confrontation before or after the fight. It's not a major problem with the movie and probably my autism causing problems but that was an important story beat that I missed because it was a bit too busy.

The last thing I want to say is my reaction is probably affected by the fact that I went in with a bias/expectations. I know I'm seeing this movie way late and I've done my best to not spoil it for myself but you know how the internet is. I knew who Pavitr and Hobie were, I knew everyone was obsessed with them and Miguel, I knew there was an evil Miles, I knew Spot was the big bad, I knew that his dad being a police captain was a big deal. So I expected to walk out of that theater completely obsessed with a new character and immediately go home and reblog everything about them like everyone else was. That didn't happen. Pavitr and Hobie had way less screentime than I expected and Miguel... was ok. They were all really good characters with amazing designs but I didn't find myself particularly drawn to any of them. I think expecting my reaction to this movie to be as extreme as other people's was a mistake and contributed to my lack of enthusiasm leaving the theater.

It was still really good, and I definitely enjoyed it, it just didn't change my brain chemistry like I thought it would. I laughed (I laughed so much), I gasped, I felt scared, I loved the art and the blend of different mediums. I know for sure I'm watching it at least one more time, probably more, there are just a few things I would have done a bit differently. Amazing movie, very glad I watched it.