#like. her parents were not abusive but they were definitely emotionally neglectful

[lighthouseas]

begging people to understand that "mike is not being abused by ted and karen" and "ted and karen are not good parents towards mike and this is something that we are supposed to take notice of throughout the show" are two statements that can and should coexist

[aihaloos]

This is true... except I actually do have a "bunk bed" with a desk underneath! Mine has a staircase on the side (they also act as cupboards!) instead of a ladder and (unfortunately) no curtains. There's also a bed drawer on the bottom of the staircase, so when I have a friend around we use that one. Said staircase can also be used as a bookshelf, and OH BOY was I a huge bookworm. It was always filled with books and little things I often put.

I still use the room, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else

(By the way did I mention that my desk has flower-and-butterfly-shaped lights that don't glare at your face. Yeah.

(The roof scales thing is my house-themed closet))

I am currently trying to procure a lava lamp.

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking pictures of my sister's house and not deleting them?

I (25f) and my adopted sister L (also 25) have grown up together since we were babies and are extremely close. I truly love her and want the best for her.

She has been married for 5 years to D (25m). They dated since they were 18 and got married at 20. I never had an issue with him except at times I thought he was immature. They have a kid together who is adorable and about to turn 3.

However, as they have been married i have an issue with him. I don't hate anyone, but he is highest on my shit list. Not an exhaustive list but he has (and I want to make this clear THESE ARE THINGS I HAVE WITNESSED I AM NOT LISTING THINGS SHE ONLY HAS TOLD ME ABOUT):

Whenever they argue yells at her. Even in front of guests (ahem me). She'll yell back and then he gets upset she is "raising her voice" at him, when he started it.

He won't let her get a job. He has canceled her applications for jobs before. She has sold some stuff online until he sold the materials she used to make things. Her only "income" is if he decides to give her an allowance and transfer money from his account to hers (please note they have BOTH their names on the accounts but one is considered hers one his). If she takes money from his account he gets mad. Bills, groceries, etc. Come from "her" account

Was always sweet but now uses her as jokes to his friends. Demeans her in front of them.

They move a state over after they got married, almost 5 hours away. Doable in one day, but many don't like to do it. Since being married, she has effectively not seen any of her friends except when they come into town to visit. I have went to visit her and one of her friends did, that friend confided they did not feel comfortable or welcome. That doesn't bother me cause personally I don't give a shit what D thinks and am there for my sister and nephew. But I have overheard D talk bad about all her friends, even me, snd encourage her not to talk to them.

The two friends she has made in the area D has told her to drop because they are "bad influences". The worst thing one has done was medical Marijuana that was prescribed to them. Not sure how they are bad except they've encouraged her to get a job and be more independent

D decided to get a cat, which my sister has a known allergy to. She didn't want the cat, but D brought it home. It has absolutely zero training and has destroyed their home. It pees everywhere, including my nephew's bed. It hates absolutely everyone except D, even attacking my sister for sitting on the couch next to D. D refuses to get rid of the thing even though it has scratched my sister and nephew multiple times and my nephew is afraid of it

Of course, there's more, but those are all things I have witnessed. The last part is what prompted me to take pictures of the bed that was peed on, the scratches on the kid and my sister. My sister showed me texts of her begging D to get rid of the cat and to me it seemed he threatened her, so I took a picture of that.

I personally believe D is an abusive prick. Definitely financially and emotionally, but not physically unless you consider neglect or him keeping the cat. He has never once hit my nephew or my sister that I have seen, and she has never stated he has. My sister has talked about leaving but then goes back to him, and I know on the outside it seems clear to me what to do but I know there is a cycle of abuse. When she is ready to leave him, she knows she can come to me and our parents.

However, D found out I took the photos. He called me drunk and extremely irate, but he didn't explicitly threaten me. It was implied. He called me an asshole, which is what made me think of this. He told me to delete the photos and that upon me doing so, he will get couples therapy.

On one hand I know they need therapy. On the other, what's to prove he will do this after I do that? My sister is begging me to delete the photos because she believes if they have therapy things will improve.

To be specific: D wants to be there when I delete them and make sure they are gone and to me that just proves how bad of a person he is because he doesn't want any evidence of any wrongdoing. My sister has sent me multiple texts and I know she has been trying to make a way for things in case it does go south, but she is afraid the inlaws will attempt for custody because apparently the inlaws have a bit of money and know the judge in our area. I dont want these photos to be used against her either...

AITA for not deleting them?

What are these acronyms?

[kandyzee]

I am both a mickey and Monica fan but this comparison doesn't hit the way they want it to.

Mickeys situation is much different. He was put in prison and yev went to live with his mother. Leaving yevgeny wasn't something he planned rather it was something he allowed to happen when the opportunity presented itself. Given that he was forced into making him, never truly consented to becoming a father and would likely not have been able to separate yev from his trauma leaving yev was the best thing for everyone and he was within his right to choose that. I also wanna mention that he was still getting money for svet while he was in prison and only gave up rights when svetlana had a job, home and would be able to support herself and yev.

First monica has six children, not 1, and we don't know how they were all conceived. We are told she's forced into keeping fiona and Carl, but other than that rape is hardly even alluded to in relationship to the others. ( I'm not saying it's not a valid assumption, but it's not definitely the case like with mickey.) So straight away Monica's impact is greater, meaning she's obviously gonna get more criticism.

Second, monica comes and goes. She didn't just leave she gave her children false hope time and time again. If she had fiona and never came back, u could say she's like mickey, but she didn't. The effect that has on children is completely different from basically never having a dad to begin with. With yev, he was so small. He didn't have time to create a strong bond with his dad, so when he lost him, the loss wasn't as bad. Monica is the complete opposite. She showers her children with love, seemingly building that parental relationship just to pull it away.

Okay next, mickey leaves yev with Svetlana and monica leaves them with Frank(and later fiona.) Leaving ur child with a woman you know is ridiculously capable and has a good thing going is not the same as leaving multiple kids with a hardly functioning alcoholic druggie. Not only does she leave them with Frank she continues to leave them even when she knows fiona(a children to young woman) is the person really looking after them. Svetlana is not physically abusive Frank is. Svetlana is not an alcoholic or addicted to drugs. She has a job and overall is a responsible adult.

Okay I think the last thing I wanna talk about is how this creator says monica is a "deadbeat" where as mickey "abandoned and neglected". Yes I know technically they are practically the same thing but the choice of language definitely makes monica seem better. If anything I think the two descriptions should be switched. Monica is abusive, as much as I love her character the way she treats her kids emotionally is abusive.

I don't want to overly defend mickeys parenting because it was not perfect but he never did anything to purposely hurt yev or do something that will have a life time effect on him(other than leaving ofc.) You can not say the same for Monica. I think the best way to get my point across is just to list things monica did to her kids that mickey didn't.

Took her underage child to a gay club and told him to sleep with grown men.

Slit her wrists at thanksgiving.

Drugged two of her children.

Physically fighting her kids dad in front of them.

Comes back into their life and says she wants to take her youngest child.

I know lots of what monica does isn't intentional, and Frank is to blame for a lot of her actions. That doesn't feel needed to get into, tho. Monica is in an abusive relationship, whereas mickey doesn't, and that makes her motivations different.

Anyway, mickey will never be as bad of a parent as monica. Their situations are not comparable.

[brucewaynehater101]

almost every post/fic about Tim's parents(bio, adoptive, parental figures) almost always focuses on his fathers, whether it was in hcs, fics or discussions, but never his mother(s) (sans your acc and a few others), like Tim(especially in the 90s) LOVES his mother, like ALOT, I *need* more Janet Drake & Tim Drake interactions, I *need*more Dana Winter(s?) & Tim Drake interactions.

Part of the reason for this, I personally think, is because they got so little screen time (panel time?).

Janet had maybe five instances (not counting times she was mentioned). Let me know if I missed any or got any of these wrong:

The scence where Tim saw The Graysons

A hallucination/dream when Tim had the Clench

When Janet died

An alternative reality Janet

I think I remember a scene where Tim was walking down the road with her?

Anyways, that's so few in comparison to Tim overall or even Jack and Dana.

Dana was essential for Tim (and Tim and Jack's relationship). She doesn't get talked about as much either.

The Drakes also get a ton of hate and are made into absolute monsters by the fandom. I'm all for AUs, but the relationship is a bit more complex than Tim's parents being assholes. They definitely were emotionally neglectful, but they loved and cared about him. I'm not saying their neglect should be excused or ignored, but they didn't hate their son (although I'd argue Jack was emotionally abusive as well).

Regardless, my main point is that Janet's personality wasn't really built due to her lack of screen time. This is why fanon runs with the cold, powerful Drake CEO Janet hc. I like the hc, but she was shown as caring and affectionate to Tim in the comics.

I definitely prefer Janet over Jack, and I'd be down to for more fanon material containing Dana.

Also, yes. I kind of don't see much material (myself included) chatting about the positive effects of more canon Janet. There's not much about her hugging him, being affectionate, and caring. It'd be cool to see more work focused on how much his mom loved Tim and how Tim misses her so much (also, Christmas Eve angst due to her funeral).

Hmm... This fic has excellent characterization and focus of both Janet and Dana. While it doesn't primarily focus on them, it does bring up Tim's grief with them. This is a "Tim Joins the Batfam late and was never Robin" AU. I highly recommend you check it out (content warning it gets dark):

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Fandom lore from back in the day

The fandom during the years the show was on was booming with constant content being churned out, especially fanfics. Most of the BTR fanfic community knew each other and formed collective headcanons and lore that were then spread and picked up by the rest of the fandom (ie tumblr). I had only just recently discovered online fandom spaces at the time, so I didn't contribute fanfics or anything (which is good because I was young, and they would have been terrible), but I did absorb a good deal that stuck with me. Thought it might be fun to share. A lot of this might still apply today but truth be told, I don't really know much about the current fandom headcanons. I'm still learning things as I continue to interact with people on here! Also! Idk if anyone currently in the fandom was around during Miss Fenway's reign, but she was the Queen of the BTR fandom and most "famous" of the fanfic community. A lot of the headcanons adopted by the fandom started with her and were quickly picked up by others.

Kendall • Pretty much unanimous agreement that his father was a deadbeat who had walked out on the family very shortly after Katie was born. This explains why there is ZERO mention of him in the show, no family pictures in the background that hint at a father still being in their lives, etc. He caused them a lot of pain, so they erased any trace of him. • Some people took a little bit of a kinder approach to him, where he was a genuinely loving dad when Kendall was very young, but then things unraveled, and he ended up leaving. • He was big into hockey, which sparked Kendall's love for the sport. • Lots of sad fanfics involving Little Kendall dealing with his parents deteriorating marriage and being forced to "take charge" once his dad left. • Also agreement that he likely dealt with a decent amount of anxiety and very clear abandonment issues, along with a hero complex. • Naturally, Kendall was very often the focus of intensely angsty fics. He was always being pushed to the limit, ignoring his own issues, sacrificing himself, etc until he reached his breaking point.

Logan • Prior to the airing of Big Time Moms, it was generally headcanoned that Logan's mother had died when he was very young, and he was being raised by his father. • It was also headcanoned (in the fanfic-sphere at least) that Logan's dad was an awful person. Don't ask me how this came to be because I don't actually know. All I remember is discovering fanfiction, reading fic after fic of Logan's dad being horrible, and going, "Huh, I guess that's a thing." • Logan's dad ranged anywhere from being a raging workaholic who totally ignored & neglected Logan to being outright abusive. • The main reason Logan threw himself so hard into school and being "smart" was so his father would notice him. It did not work. • Because of this, the fandom headcanoned that Logan was pretty much "adopted" into the Knight family from the moment he befriended Kendall. Mrs. Knight is the one who raised him and gave him love, and so he and Kendall grew up as brothers. (Several fanfics even had Logan be officially adopted into the Knight family at some point) • If there was an award for most tortured character in BTR fanfiction, Logan would have won hands down during the 2009-2013 fanfic era. This guy was put through the wringer! He was always experiencing trauma. When he wasn't being emotionally scarred by his dad, he was dying tragically or losing an arm in a shark attack or getting brain damage or being kidnapped. Logan suffered constantly lol the poor guy.

Carlos • He likely got the best, most lighthearted side of fandom headcanons and probably suffered the least in fics. Largely because he's Carlos, and nobody wants to hurt Carlos. • From a big, loud, happy family. Definitely the healthiest, most stable upbringing of all the boys. • Babied and loved so so much by his parents. • People had different ideas regarding the actual makeup of his immediate family, but most people headcanoned him as the oldest and only boy, with 3 or 4 much younger sisters. • His father was often written as having a special bond with Logan. I remember a trend in fics where Logan called Mr. Garcia "papa" and looked to him as the main father figure in his life. • It's still assumed that Carlos has a serious case of ADHD, right? Because that was a given back in the day. James • Honestly, I remember the least amount of James lore. Let's see... • Only child • Uses his superficial exterior to hide the fact he's deeply insecure • Actually feels everything so deeply that he has to pretend he doesn't care to avoid getting hurt. This was used to many fic writer's advantage. • Loved by his parents, but they don't show it well, and he grew up feeling disconnected from them. And that's about all I've got!

I should dig back through my old list of bookmarked fanfics at some point and make a post of the ones that were my favorites.

[achaotichuman]

Y'all, I have a question. Is it stated literally anywhere in the books as to why Lucien is the Lady of Autumn's favorite son?

We know he's the child she always wanted to have with her lover, but is that really it? I know there may be something about him being the kindest, but surely if the Lady of Autumn had been only showing such deep love, affection and blatant favoritism towards Lucien, then obviously he is going to be the kindest, and obviously his other brothers are going to be bitter and jealous. Afterall no one is born bitter, and no one is born kind either.

If anything, it just looks like the Lady of Autumn uses Lucien as her vision of what her life could have turned out to be, in a similar manner to how some parents live vicariously through their children.

I know it's not entirely the Lady of Autumn's fault, this is her coping mechanism for being in such an abusive household. But it would definitely contribute to the emotional neglect of Lucien's other brothers.

Also, another thing I just thought of, is it not possible that Lucien is not Helion's only son out of the seven brothers? Afterall, the Lady of Autumn had been having an affair with Helion all throughout her son's lives, so it's not unlikely that Lucien isn't the only Heir of Day, but that's just a random theory I thought of.

Really, is there anything in the books that says or implies another reason as to why the Lady of Autumn favors Lucien? Because I don't think there is. Which, if Lucien being the Lady of Autumn's favorite was a determining factor in him not being corrupted by Beron's abuse, suddenly the other brothers don't look nearly as irredeemably evil as we were led to believe.

I think this all revolves around the idea that you have to be born from a good person to be a good person. We see that a lot in Sjm's books, where someone is just naturally good/evil because of their heritage. And people born from bad people have to 'redeem' or otherwise pay in some way just because of who they came from. Or what they had to do to survive living in an abusive household.

Could just be poor writing, but I need to know other opinions on this. Why does Lucien deserve to be the favorite, and therefore the only inherently 'good brother'? Just because he was born from Helion?

Obviously, this is centering around them all as children, or when they were young, Lucien as he is in the present only deserves all the nice things. But I think it's a character point that needs to be focused on, especially if Lucien being the LOA's favorite gained him favor within the Court, or otherwise special treatment, even just emotionally, that his brother's never got.

[siriusremusblack]

My Marauders Ranking. Best to WORST.

Alright. Since, I asked y’all to rank the Marauders a while ago I will do so as well now!

Alright at number one we have Remus. He’s similar to Severus in the way that he was poor, an outcast, and he was a Halfblood. Joined a group of people (that weren’t the best influencers) to feel accepted and appreciated. Wanted. All that stuff. He actually got that but was too much of a coward to speak his mind about the bullying he didn’t agree with supposedly. Though I do understand that point since like Sev he was poor, a Halfblood and pretty much friendless without the Marauders so he was probably scared they’d bully him to if he “betrayed” James.

At number two we got Sirius. Sirius seems like an immature idiotic dude. He seems easily manipulated and like someone that trusts people blindly. I dunno. That’s just the vibes I got from him. He also has similarities to Severus. For instance both were friends to one of Harry’s parents and both helped out Harry in their own way. Two sides of the same coin I suppose. But Sirius was definitely an idiot unlike Severus- (at least in my opinion) he almost killed Sev. Maybe he didn’t realize Sev could probably die or maybe he did. But either way he’s an idiot because he obviously didn’t think of the consequences of his actions and expected his friend who he used for this terrible act to be fine with it. Like what??? Where is this man’s braincells???

At number three we have Peter. I don’t particularly like him. He was a coward and he betrayed his friends. He didn’t really care for them not like how the Marauders fandom portrays him anyways. Maybe he did care but. He cared more about power, authority and control more. He joined James and the others for what could be offered to him. Once he met someone stronger than James he left, betrayed them and got James killed. That isn’t a friend I would want around me. He’s that toxic ‘friend’ that stays in the friend group and the group chats collecting information on everyone there to give to your ex’s or ex friends or bullies for money or whatever. A fake.

In last place. We have James. I said before Sirius seemed like someone easy to manipulate. Who else would do something like that besides James? It’s not stated in canon that James manipulated Sirius and the others HOWEVER. If we look at each of their situations- it’s pretty much likely he did. But that’s only by my interpretation of what I saw. Now, another reason why he’s at the bottom of the list. He bullied multiple students including Severus. Made a map to stalk people (mainly Severus), harassed, S*xually assaulted/harassed another student (Severus), attempted to blackmail Lily to date him, threatened others, lied to his wife, went out of the house to hangout with his friends instead of being smart and staying home and helping to take care of Harry until Dumbledore took away his invisibility cloak, etc etc. This man is not a good guy in any way. I’m just going to say this now. If he didn’t die. If Lily didn’t die. If they were together and took care of Harry for those ten years before he went to Hogwarts. James would be a horrible father. Neglectful. Maybe even physically abusive. Neglectful is very much implied with how he left Lily to take care of Harry while he snuck out to hangout with Sirius and likely the others as well while in hiding. Abusive is implied from his actions towards others and even how he treated Lily before they dated. Threatening to continue the bullying on her best friend unless she dated him. That’s emotionally manipulative. Manipulative in general. Blackmail. Toxic, controlling and downright abusive. So I’m sorry to say to any James stans or kins but he’s not a good guy in the slightest. Lily and James likely would’ve gotten a divorce later down the line if they had survived because of James. He put his family in danger by leaving when they were supposed to be in hiding, he didn’t stop bullying and harassing people only got better at hiding, he was lying to his wife, his past actions he had zero remorse for- Lily would’ve found out eventually. I doubt she’d want to stay with him after finding that out.

[sapphic-agent]

Can you please get into how much the fandom demonizes Rei? Like, I’m not disagreeing that she wasn’t the best mother. But people really turn this woman (who is financially, socially, AND emotionally dependent on her husband and Clan!) into some abusive mother who WANTED to burn Shoto’s face! When it’s obvious that she was begging her mother to take her away from the house because she was too stressed out from Endeavor’s influence and Touya’s death!

I don’t know, I just think she’s not a perfect mother, but nobody can be a perfect mother. She clearly did her best with what she had, and who would’ve believed her if she said Endeavor was an abusive husband and father? The police? Other heroes? No! I bet Endeavor would’ve claimed that SHE was the terrible parent and that she was suffering from PPSD (which, she probably was, four kids, two of which were born when Endeavor started getting obsessed with overcoming All Might? She definitely had that) and she would’ve ended up in the hospital no matter what.

Let's talk about it😈

So I was actually skimming through the manga where Shoto mentions this. He says that his mother was pushed and pushed by Endeavor until she just broke. And I love this because Shoto understands that his mom was in a shitty situation and never intended to hurt him. Unlike this shitty fandom, he's aware enough to see who was the abuser and who was the one who made a mistake.

Let's go over Rei's past for a minute. She:

Grew up in an environment that was at the best neglectful and at the worst abusive

Was sold like an object (and yes this is canon, the Himura Clan canonically sells their children it was a forced marriage, not an arranged marriage)

Married Endeavor and had Touya at 18

Already, she was dealt a shitty hand. Endeavor is also four years older than her, so he was 22 while she was only barely an adult. Even outside her being bought by him, there's a huge power imbalance here. Even if he was polite and nice in the beginning, she was at a major disadvantage in their "relationship."

One of my gripes with Horikoshi and the later parts of the manga is the retcon of the Todoroki past. How Shoto tells the story and how it's portrayed later are very different.

In Shoto's version, Endeavor hit Rei for defending him from Endeavor. In the Touya flashback, she tripped. In Shoto's version, Endeavor only saw his children as means to an end. In the Touya flashback, he's portrayed as caring about them. In Shoto's version, there's a menacing and villainous aura surrounding Endeavor. In the Touya flashback he's portrayed normally.

And this is done to make Endeavor look more sympathetic. Which is bad not only because he was an abuser who doesn't deserve sympathy, it also antagonizes Touya and Rei in the process.

(People could argue that Shoto's love for his mother and young age make him an unreliable narrator. But to me this is dismissing the victim. Shoto might have been young, but he recalls enough to tell it in excruciating detail. It was a huge part of his life and writing it off like that does him a disservice)

So there are two instances specifically that people demonize Rei for.

1. Shoto's Burn

Now this is the one that is her responsibility. My thing is though... No one ever said it wasn't? Least of all Rei herself. Once she saw Shoto again, she immediately apologized. During the event itself, she realized what she did and broke down and tried to fix it. She also spent 10 years in asylum paying for what she did (which is more consequence than Endeavor faced btw).

The thing no one seems to acknowledge about this is that this didn't come from nowhere. She didn't do what she did out of cruelty or hatred towards her son. She did it because Endeavor had abused her to the point of insanity. To the point where even seeing them in her kids' faces caused her to have a complete mental breakdown. Which is understandable due to the physical, verbal, financial, and sexual abuse he was putting her through.

You know, there's an irl story like this. A woman was suffering from severe PPD and other mental issues after having four kids I think it was. Doctors and everyone repeatedly told her husband that she souldn't have more kids. He didn't listen (I'm not sure if SA was involved here but I'm inclined to believe it was) and they continued to have more. Eventually one day she snapped and killed her children.

PPD is seriously dangerous when it's left untreated, even worse when that isn't the only thing going on. Rei was no doubt suffering from the ramifications of that, but on top of everything else Endeavor out her through I can't believe she didn't break earlier.

2. Touya's Situation

It baffles that people find it in themselves to blame Rei but feel sympathy towards Endeavor over Touya.

Because on top of every instance of abuse I mentioned above, Rei was also taking care of four kids completely by herself. That would be hard even without her own and Touya's mental issues.

From the manga panel I provided, she was the only one between her and Endeavor taking Touya's mental well-being seriously. She knew how having more kids would affect him and she was right. She was the one who had to deal with Touya lashing out when Endeavor ignored him (which also contributed to her breaking down and burning Shoto due to Touya emulating Endeavor).

Rei is a character who's been judged so unfairly. Partly because Endeavor fanboys, partly because Dabi/Shoto fangirls, and completely because of the misogyny that runs rampant in this fandom. She deserved so much better.

I have a fic giving Rei the justice she deserves if anyone's interested. It features my OC who happens to be Rei's quirkless younger sister. Give it a read if you want

[tevanbuckley]

#how do you hate bucktommy so much that you've looped back around to defending the buckley parents?

they're really reaching now, aren't they? like this is so insane to me. absolutely wild to hate a character so much that they defend actually canonically neglectful parents who had a superiority complex about *checks notes* their daughter being in an abusive marriage for years, instead of, you know, doing anything to actually help her while she was suffering.

all Tommy has done is grow as a person, off screen, over the course of ~a decade (which is a more than reasonable timeline to go from being scared in the closet and staying quiet to protect himself, to being more out and proud and comfortable), and been really good to Buck. but no, he's definitely worse than the people who were so caught up in their own grief that they emotionally neglected their children for decades, and now act all high and mighty any time Buck or Maddie struggles with literally anything.

It’s crazy, I don’t get the need to prove b*ddie is perfect above all else to the point you end up twisting yourself into this big a knot

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

I have mostly only seen Baghra hate in Darkling apologia circles so this makes me curious. What is your overall opinion of Baghra? Especially her morality.

I like Baghra! I think she’s a really interesting character that just isn’t fleshed out very much and suffers for it. I think book one specifically just feels like LB wasn’t really thinking about her as a character as opposed to a plot device.

My general interpretation of her is that she’s probably supremely depressed by TGT era, given how inactive she is. And I mean she literally kills herself in R&R. There seems to be a huge discrepancy between the values she raised Aleksander with and what she believes in the present. I suspect the shadow fold may have something to do with that? Or again just depression. We don’t know why she stopped using her own power aside from the vague implication that it’s to protect her son’s identity, but I think it ends up painting a larger picture of someone who’s just lost interest in everything. And we do see a hint of what an entirely different person she was in the Demon in the Wood era.

I don’t have particular opinions on her morality tbqh. She seems like she never really got past the formative experience of being neglected by her father and hated by her mother and then everything that happened with her sister. Like no shit she’s not particularly emotionally well adjusted.

She seems to have had a child more out of a desire for companionship than like any particular maternal instinct. There’s mention of her trying to have thee most powerful kid ever but I suspect it’s more because she wanted to ensure immortality again more for companion ship rather than actually caring about the power itself. And with their isolated fear filled lifestyle early on, like even if she *was* the most competent parent ever (which. we have established that she was not) you wouldn’t have gotten the best results.

I feel like Darkling stans do act insane about her. Like I remember seeing conversations about aww poor Aleksander he must have felt so betrayed when Alina sided with his *abuser.* Like fuck off sjfhf it’s obviously a way more complicated dynamic than that. And I’d argue that multiple centuries in, there actually isn’t a power differential between them anymore.

But it seems like the boundaries were bad! That she almost definitely set him up for his megalomaniacal tendencies! And also that she imparted her own fears of vulnerability to him. Like I do think that with her own history of being so neglected she overcompensated by raising her son to the idea that he’s above all reproach (but her own lol) and that other people’s lives simply do not have as much worth. (The same kind of elevation and isolation that he tries to pull with Alina)

So yeah idk I think the fact that Aleksander is such a piece of work falls directly at her feet but also like. it’s understandable?

[pynkhues]

Heyy! Would you mind if i asked u to explain to what extent is lestat and his mother’s relationship incestuous? I havent read the books but i keep seeing everyone talk about lestat’s fucked up relationship with his mother altho they never talk about specifics and i’d like to know bcs i love lestat and i wanna know everything about him!!! And i also i dont trust just anyone to know bcs some people on twt just lie about having read the books😭 so yeah i trust you lol i hope it’s okay Thank you!!

Hey! Of course! It's - - mm, kind of a how long's a piece of string question to ask how incestuous they are, because on the one hand, very, haha, and on the other hand, it's more complicated than something like, say, Jaime and Cersei? I think what Anne was interested in exploring between them was an already unclear identity dynamic born out of isolation and trauma - mother-son, lovers, and avatar - and then reversing the parent-child with maker-fledgling.

In that sense, context is pretty important. To give you the short version, Gabrielle is an Italian woman (her gender identity is totally up for discussion, but I'm going to use she/her pronouns here just because Anne does) who's both highly educated and pretty independent for her time. She's an avid reader, well-travelled and wealthy, when her family marries her off to a French aristocrat from the Auvergne countryside. The Marquis - as his name implies - is titled, which means something in this era, but he's otherwise totally destitute, and also very abusive. Gabrielle is - in this sense - the total embodiment of a gothic heroine where she's isolated in a foreign country with a cruel man who basically bleeds her dry financially.

She has eight children to him, only three of whom survive childhood (and I tend to think this feeds into Gabrielle's complex relationship with her own body). Lestat's the youngest, and is pretty much immediately Gabrielle's favourite although she struggles to show this. We don't know how much Gabrielle's detachment from her children and her unwillingness to show affection stems from the years married to the Marquis, how much she's divorced herself from her body and role as mother as a result, and how much is just her, but it definitely shapes how Lestat receives love (which absolutely feeds into his relationship with both Louis and Nicki). He's desperate for Gabrielle's attention, and she loves him but neglects him to the point where she doesn't even teach him how to read, despite literature being her only solace in the Marquis' house.

Gabrielle and Lestat basically become emotionally enmeshed at this point, especially as Lestat's brothers follow in their father's footsteps and become further vectors of his abuse, and that enmeshment leads first to emotional incest and then a physical attraction that's acted on at least in kissing if not more (it's ambiguous). Their sense of intimacy is in a lot of ways perverted through trauma, but Gabrielle's really unclear with boundaries with Lestat which also leads beyond emotional incest to a sort of identity bleed. As I mentioned above, she also sees Lestat as avatar - he's her masculine self, she literally calls him her phallus in the book - which as a parent, is manifest of her own abuse of him. She, in those moments, can and would deny him his own personhood and independence and see him only as an extension of herself.

There's a reading there that that's reflective of Gabrielle being either non-binary or a trans man (and a number of parallels that Claudia and Gabrielle were both turned in the wrong bodies - Claudia as a child, Gabrielle as a woman), something amplified by the fact that she predominantly wears men's clothing after she's turned into a vampire. I can and do overall agree with both those readings, but I think it's also reflective of Gabrielle recognising Lestat has social power that she never will and that dressing as a man gives her greater freedom and mobility in an era where women had little.

Their relationship actually becomes a bit less incestuous when they're less isolated in Paris and Lestat starts whatever weird psychosexual thing he has going on with Armand, haha, and Gabrielle tries to help Nicki adjust to a vampire life he's never going to adjust to. She and Lestat have a pretty loving departure from one another where she goes to travel the world again, and they spend a long time out of touch as a result because Lestat can't communicate with her as his fledgling (and still can't read or write). They only actually reunite when she realises Lestat's in danger while on tour towards the end of TVL, and then teams up with Louis to try and save him from Akasha.

So yeah! It's a really complicated relationship and in a lot of ways I think goes beyond just incest and feeds into trauma and abuse as something that perverts family dynamics, but also has profound impact on personal identity. She's kind of the worst in a lot of ways, but I honestly love Gabrielle as a character and she's often really fun (her and Armand hating each other's guts is very funny) and I can't wait to see her on screen. There's a reason she's the character Sam and Jacob are both the most excited about, but I do think she's probably going to be a very polarising character for audiences.

[gunnerkriggcritical]

This is definitely reading too much into Tony and Tom so feel free to disagree... BUT I've been thinking about it a lot and I gotta ramble a bit.

Tony is portrayed as a very stoic man, who deeply loves his wife and daughter(s, because sometimes he has two). Whether or not he actually IS, is up for debate, but there's no doubt that's how Tom wants to PORTRAY him.

There's a bit in the Mind Cage that I think is supposed to show this. Idra says that Annie is "spoiled" because her dad *wasn't* there to "set her straight"--and Jones and Anja both semi-agree! (What the fuck Anja!) Parents aren't supposed to "set you straight", they're supposed to teach you how to be a functional human being *before* you fuck up so bad you need to be set straight. Of course Annie was unruly and headstrong--a child who grew up playing with ghosts in the hospital would have a hard time adjusting to a regular school, even with an alive mom and present dad. But she didn't have that. So, she was allowed to run wild, and then when Tony returned, he had to "set her straight"... by immediately humiliating her in front of her friends (the people who were ACTUALLY THERE FOR HER AFTER HER MOM DIED), and he was just casually cruel in a way he didn't have to be.

But anyway. It brings to mind the stereotype of the stoic British father, who is silent and stern and stone faced, but still have love for their kids, and show it through actions the kids are meant to interpret, rather than words that the kids can understand. These dads don't cuddle their kids or call them poppet, but they will bandage their foot (stoically, with their face away from their child) while their kid gently tugs on their shirt. They'll sternly say "wipe off that makeup!" in front of your peers and embarrass you, but that's because he was taken off guard and he feels bad about it :( But they love you, don't you know that? You don't need to hear it, just feel it. And an apology is ridiculous, you already know they feel bad, don't you?

(And I don't care he has his mind cage on around Annie, he can and does say sentences to her. Or he could have said something to the Annie he opened up to! He doesn't have to cry, just fucking say "I'm sorry"!!! Dude!!!)

Tom has never seemed to care about whether people think his characters are good people. Like, he didn't make a chapter explaining how Zimmy and Gamma's relationship is Good, Actually--he just said "they're happy together and their feelings are requited and that's all there is to it". And he didn't feel the need to defend Paz and Kat's relationship, either; they were just two girls who were in a regular high school romance. They just are, and if people raise criticisms, founded or unfounded, he goes "eh, whatevs, it's my comic" and let's it roll off his back. But Tony? Tony gets a whole chapter where his abuse victim stands up and says "I don't care if he continues to neglect and abuse me, because I will always stay by his side and enable his mental dysfunction, rather than setting boundaries."

And I'm just stuck with "why". Why is Tom so protective of the fan's perception of Tony, rather than Annie or Zimmy or Kat?

And the answer I came to is... I wonder if Tony based off of Tom's dad? I don't think it's an exact one to one, because Tony is a fictional character and is exaggerated in ways real life people can never be (like, there's aspects of autism alluded to in Mind Cage, but it's not... realistic). But I wonder if Tom also had a relationship like "my dad only seems emotionally distant, but he actually loves his kid(s) a lot, he just has trouble showing it".

Tom (as far as we know) was never a high school girl in a relationship with another girl, nor was he tormented by hallucinations of monsters that could only be dispelled by his lover/friend/therapist/emotional crutch, and he was also (hopefully) not in a sexually/romantically charged relationship with an immeasurable age gap (ex Jones and Eglamore, Ysengrin/Jerrick and Annie). So if people complain, it's whatever to him. But, if Tony was based on his dad, then it's understandable why people pointing out the faults of Tony hit a bit closer to home for him.

But also maybe I'm wrong. I don't know Tom nor his family, nor do I really want to. This specific thing just stuck out to me because one of the things I always admired about Tom was how much he said "I don't care what the fans say, this is my comic and my characters, and you guys can take it or leave it". But then the Mind Cage seems like the complete opposite of that philosophy, where he makes all the characters spell out why Tony is a good dad. So it got stuck in my craw a bit, why there was this 180.

But I also could be wrong! We'll probably never know.

All so true! Thanks for this thoughtful ask. I think there actually was some point where Tom said outright that Tony is based off either his dad or himself? Even if not, I think you’re probably right on the money. Everything makes perfect sense if the author sees Tony as less of a character and more of an avatar of a real person he knows.

[falcqns]

i should go home (but i'm fighting that right now)

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Tim Bradford x Lucy Chen

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Tim isn’t okay with Lucy going undercover, but he’s good at hiding it. Or so he thinks.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: set during s3e06: Revelations, Tim Bradford is a simp for Lucy Chen, references to s2e11: Day of Death, mention of childhood abuse and neglect, hints to Tim being a Dom and Lucy being a Sub, angst, fluff, angst with a happy ending, undercover, rookie year, friends to lovers, tagging @natashasera

don’t forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

It wasn’t a secret to anyone in Mid Wilshire that Tim was protective of his rookies, but everyone also knew that he was more protective of Lucy than he had been of any other rookie he’d trained. Tim knew that everyone was aware, that Nyla was aware, which is what made it so much more aggravating that she’s letting her go undercover, and not letting him have a say in it at all. It wasn’t that Lucy wouldn’t be good at UC work, because she would. She would be the best at it, but he couldn’t lose her. Not only just in the way he lost Isabel, but he couldn’t lose her at all. He’d gotten a taste of a life without Lucy Chen and he knew now that a life without Lucy Chen is not a life worth living. 

Tim stood at the door of the roll call room, fuming so hard he was shocked he didn’t have smoke coming out of his ears. He wanted to shut this entire thing down. He was shocked that Grey even approved Lucy going under without his permission. Normally, Tim would have to approve something like this, and had he be given the opportunity to approve or deny her going on this op, he would have said no so quickly. But, he wasn’t the option, so all he could really do was announce his anger and disagreement with this and hope that she would pull out on her own. But knowing Lucy, she wouldn’t.

Tim had just enough self control to wait until the briefing was finished, but he did give Lucy a look that he hope portrayed just how angry he was when she was instructed to stand up so everyone could get a good look at her. 

People starting filtering out of the room, and Tim immediately stalked up to Nyla, and got in her face. 

“The hell are you doing?” He asked. “You can’t pit an untrained probationary officer against one of the most dangerous crime syndicates in California.” 

Nyla rolled her eyes, smirking slightly before responding. “I don’t want to hear it Tim,” She said, furrowing her brows at Tim and gesturing to Lucy. “She volunteered. Plus, Grey authorized it, and we have some of the best operational expertise she could ask for.”

Tim then ignored Nyla, turning to his rookie. “They know the gladiator cage you’re walking into.” He stated. “That’s not volunteering. That’s being used.” He stated, before walking out of the room, and heading back to his shop, anger flooding every inch of his body. 

He then spent the rest of the day trying to get the look on Lucy’s face out of his mind. He had been harsh with his words to her. And while he still stood behind what he said, it didn’t stop the guilt that he was feeling after seeing the hurt look on her face. She had been clearly seeking out his approval, like she always did, and he just tore her down instead. That was something he did at the start of her rookie year, but stopped when he had realized that she wasn’t driven by tough love, she was driven by praise and acceptance.

He knew that her thriving off of praise and acceptance was a reflection on her childhood, where she probably didn’t get that as much as she should have, if at all. From his one and only interaction with her parents, the day after he’d pulled her from the barrel, he knew that while Lucy’s parents never physically abused her, they definitely were neglectful at best, and mentally and emotionally abused her her entire life. 

Tim knew that, and Tim still acted like he did earlier. He still didn’t approve of her doing undercover work, but he could have at least tried to be supportive, and offer to help her in anyway possible. He could have been open with her, and told her his fears, and explained that he didn’t want her going undercover because he didn’t think she could handle it, it was because he didn’t want to lose her. He didn’t want to go days without talking to her, without hearing her cheerful voice, without seeing her beautiful face. He had 13 days left with her, and he didn’t want to spend those last 13 days without her. He wanted her by his side, where she was the safest, until her last day as his rookie was over, and he could ask her to be by his side like she belonged, forever. 

So while he wasn’t happy in the slightest that he was not given a choice when it came to his rookie going undercover, he accepted it, and then found himself on a rooftop with Nolan, watching the op go down. He put up with the conversation with Nolan, but kept his eyes on the nondescript van where he knew Lucy was. He saw Zhang step out, followed by Harper, holding a rifle. Lucy made her way out of the van. She looked scared, but Tim knew that when Lucy was scared on the job, she didn’t let it show on her face, which meant she was in character. 

Tim let out the breath that he was holding as he watched the op unfold. While he couldn’t hear what was happening, he was able to deduce what was happening through the body language of everyone involved. Suddenly, one of Salonga’s men pulled out a radio, and said something. Seconds later, another car pulled up, prompting Tim to pull out his own radio.

“We’ve got another guest at the party,” he said, a hint of anxiety in his voice that he wasn’t even trying to hide anymore. “Standby for rescue.” He put his radio back, and continued to watch the buy. 

As he did, he wanted nothing more than to pull Lucy out. He knew that she was strong, but the side of him that wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her by his side so nothing could hurt her wanted her out of that dangerous situation. But, he knew if he did that, she was going to be even more angry with him, and at the very best would cause her to resent him for the rest of her rookie year, and at the very worst would cause her to request a transfer and he would never see her again. His heart couldn’t handle that, not seeing her ever again, so he wouldn’t pull her out. She needed to see this through, and if anything went wrong, he would be there, protecting her in a heartbeat. 

He watched with bated breath as Lucy willingly got into the car with Salonga, his anxiety for her turning into anger. He knew that Nyla had grilled her about not going to a secondary location, and while yes, she technically wasn’t leaving the location, she was in a closed vehicle that they could only monitor the audio. Anything could be happening visually and they would have no clue what was happening until it was too late. 

When Lucy stepped out of the car a few minutes later, he let out the breath he had been holding. The next few moments flew by in a blur of seeing the money, being told to move in, and running up to Chen, placing her hands behind her back and cuffing her. 

As he started to lead her to their shop, number 7-a-19. He helped her into the back of the shop, watching as she looked him in the eyes for the first time since he had berated her in front of Zhang and Harper. “You did good,” He said simply. He wanted to wait until they were alone to have a proper conversation, not only about how proud he was of her, but also about how stupid of a decision it was (in his opinion) to get into Salonga’s car. He shut the door, rounded the car, shut the other back door, and hopped in the front. He got in the front, pulling out of the parking garage, and heading toward the station. 

Once they were on the freeway, Tim fished out the handcuff key from his belt, and handed it to Lucy. 

“I’m still mad at you,” Lucy said, accepting the key, and un-cuffing herself.

Tim nodded in understanding. “I know,” he said. “I’m mad at you too.” 

Lucy laughed. “For what?!”

Tim looked at her in the rearview mirror. “Where should I start? Going behind your training officers back, volunteering for an undercover op without approval from said training officer, getting into Salonga’s car where we couldn’t monitor everything happening.” He listed. “Not to mention, had Grey not told me, I highly doubt you would have on your own accord.” 

“I didn’t come to you before volunteering for two reasons.” Lucy snapped. “1, there was no time, it was a heat of the moment decision because we were in danger, and 2, because I knew you wouldn’t approve.”

Now it was Tim’s turn to laugh. “Damn right. You are MY rookie, and that means that you are MY responsibility. You’re damn right I wouldn’t have approved of you going undercover. You are not experienced, you’re still a rookie for gods sakes! There shouldn’t have been an opportunity for you to be even exposed to undercover work.” He said loudly.

Tim immediately regretted his words and tone when he hear Lucy sniffle from the back seat. 

“S-So you don’t think I’m good enough for undercover work.” She stated. “Really loving the support from my TO right now. I thought you would have been proud of me.” 

Tim sighed, and pulled the shop over. He got out of the shop, and opened up the backseat, letting Lucy out. She didn’t make eye contact with him, and slapped the cuffs and key in his hand. 

“Get in the front seat.” He said. 

“Why?” Lucy challenged. 

Tim rolled his eyes, exasperated with her attitude. “Get in the car, Boot.” He snapped, getting back in the drivers seat. 

“Its shop, not a fucking car!” Lucy yelled at him as she walked (more like stomped) around the car. 

Tim ran a hand over his face, and sighed, before turning to Lucy when he heard the passenger door slam. 

“Okay first of all, stop with the attitude.” He said, and Lucy’s mouth dropped open. 

“I do not ha-“ She started, but then Tim grasped her chin, and looked into her eyes. 

“You do. You have an attitude right now, and I’m sick of it. I know you just went through a very stressful situation, that you’re tired, and angry, but I need you to stop acting like Lucy, and start acting like Officer Chen, got it?” He said, sternly, and Lucy nodded, eyes wide. Tim swallowed, trying not to think too much about how easily she submitted to him.

“Yes, I am mad at you. For all the reasons I mentioned. My anger is valid and justified. I know that, and I know for a fact that you know that. I am angry that you did this without coming to me first, but it is not because I think that you can’t handle it, or that you’re not strong enough for undercover work. It’s because I already lost someone important to me to undercover work and I am not willing to risk that with you, okay?” He said, and Lucy nodded, gulping, tears starting to form in her eyes. 

“You did great. You did better than I was expecting you to, but that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it.” He expressed. “We can talk more about that later, but right now I need you to tell me what you need to recover from the op. You are not yourself, because regular Lucy would not yell, stomp, or swear at me like you did. So, lets get back to the station, so you can be debriefed and I can drive you home. Can we do that?” He asked, and Lucy nodded, her body starting to relax in Tim’s hold. “Good girl.” 

“‘m sorry,” Lucy whispered as Tim released her cheek. “‘m sorry I yelled at you.” Her tears spilled over and began running down her cheeks, and Tim wasted no time in wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to his chest. 

“Its okay.” He whispered. “I’m not mad anymore, okay?” He reassured, and Lucy nodded, still sobbing. “And for the record, I am proud of you. I’ve never been prouder of a rookie than I am of you. So I want you to get the doubt of my pride in you out of your head. Me being proud of you and me being angry with the way things went down are not related.” He reassured her. 

“O-Okay.” She stuttered. Tim nodded, pressed a small kiss to the top of her head, and then removed his arm, and was about to grab onto the steering wheel when Lucy grabbed it, and gripped it tightly. Tim smiled, but let her hold on to his arm as he drove. 

They made it back to the station a while later, and Lucy was immediately pulled away by Nyla for their debrief, but not before Tim told her to change out immediately after and wait at his truck. Tim was also pulled into his own debrief, as he was just surveillance and wasn’t able to know the intimate details of the operation against Salonga. He also had a rather uncomfortable conversation with Grey about why he had interrupted the briefing and spoke to his rookie like that, where he explained his reasonings, and got off rather easily, as Grey understood where he was coming from but insisted that next time he needs to speak to his rookie with the respect and kindness that she had more than earned. 

He changed out, and met Lucy by his truck, where she was standing, looking around nervously. 

“Hey,” he said, with a smile on his face to let her know he really wasn’t mad anymore. “How are you feeling?” 

Lucy shrugged, a small, unsure smile on her face. “Im good. Tired.” She said, as Tim walked closer. 

“I can imagine.” He said. He put his bag down at his feet, and tucked his hands into his pants. “Look, I know that I was out of line earlier today, during the briefing.” He began. “I was scared for you, and angry that had I not gone to see Grey on my own accord, theres a high likely hood I would have been kept in the dark about it, but I had no right to yell at you and talk to you the way that I did. You deserved to have to support throughout your first undercover operation, and I should have put my personal issues with undercover work aside and helped you. So, I’m sorry.” 

“Wow,” Lucy said, her eyebrows raising. “An I’m sorry? From Tim Bradford? That was not what I was expecting at all.” She said, and Tim furrowed his own brows in confusion. 

“What were you expecting me to say?” 

Lucy looked him in the eyes. “I was honestly expecting you to say that while I did good today you stand by what you said this morning and that I shouldn’t be doing undercover work at all, much less while I’m still a rookie.” 

Tim sighed, looked down, and moved closer to Lucy. “That’s not what I think, or what I meant by my little speech in the car earlier. I was just struggling with my own shit, but I now realize that I shouldn’t let my own trauma trigger yours, and it wasn’t okay for me to grab your face like that, or speak to you like I did.” 

“And by realizing, you mean Grey yelled at you?” She joked, and Tim nodded with a sheepish smile. “Thats what I thought. And about the grabbing my face, I actually liked that. It helped me focus, and helped ground me.” She explained. 

Tim moved even closer to her, brushing a stray hair out her face as he cupped her face. “Really?” He asked. “You liked it?” He asked in a slightly joking tone, and smiled even bigger when he saw her become slightly flustered. Suddenly, the confession that he was saving for after her last shift as a rookie was on the tip of his tongue, and he did nothing to stop it. 

“Do you want to know the real reason I didn’t want you going undercover?” He asked, and Lucy immediately nodded. “The reason I didn’t want you doing this is because I’m just overprotective of my rookies. I was upset because you mean more to me than any of those other rookies ever did. I trained them, they graduated to P2 or washed out, and I moved on to the next rookie. Until you walked into the room, and I was assigned as your training officer. Most rookies would have just followed orders and let me die or ran for the hills if I got shot on their second ever shift. But, not you. You stayed, disobeyed me but pulled me from danger, and thats when I knew that training you was going to be different. But, it wasn’t until I came in to work on December 9th, 2019, that I realized that I was in love with you.” He admitted, his voice shaking slightly, but determined to get this out before he lost the confidence. He saw Lucy’s eyebrows raise slightly, her lips drop one, and tears rim her eyes once more.

“W-What?” Lucy stuttered, swallowing hard. “You’re in love with me?” She asked. 

At first, Tim wasn’t sure whether she was happy or sad about that, but then he looked deep into her eyes, and behind her beautiful brown eyes, he saw happiness. He saw hope, and most importantly, he saw the love she had for him. And that happiness, hope, and love gave him the boost do not answer her with words, but instead, answer her by leaning in, and pressing his lips to hers, hoping he was able to convey the love he had in his heart, body and mind for Lucy through the kiss. 

Lucy melted into his body, and he held her as close as he could, knowing for the first time since he pulled her from that barrel that she was safe, fully safe, and that she would be by his side, forever, just like he wanted. 

[thestupidhelmet]

A(nother) Difference Between That '70s Show and That '90s Show.

I've written about depth of characterization before, but I realized today by looking at the T7S circle .gifs by @tht70sblog that the life issues the T9S kids face (save Oz) are nowhere on the same level as those from T7S (S1-S5, at least). This might add to the Disney show feeling people have expressed about T9S.

T7S has very realistic parental neglect and abuse issues and the emotional effects of that childhood wounding. Parents who don't set proper boundaries with their kid, which creates a different cluster of emotional wounding that affects the kid's worldview and behavior. And gives specific details (or the whys) to make all this characterization abundantly clear.

The threat of homelessness at seventeen (several times) and fears of a bleak future. Significant betrayal in teen relationships. A son whose more sensitive nature doesn't fit with his father's idea of masculinity, which has a breadth of consequences (some good, some damaging). A pregnancy scare for a high school sophomore. Teen girls whose gender expression and interests don't fit stereotypes.

The list goes on.

This depth, seriousness, and kind of issues facing the characters of T7S resonates very much with my time as a teenager in high school (long after the '70s 😅). For instance: a friend with an emotionally and physically abusive mother who kicked her out of home in the middle of the night (not for the first time), and that friend showing up at my home for shelter.

That's only one specific example with the most basic of details (because privacy 😁), but T7S reflects so much of my serious teen experiences in its stories (not necessarily autobiographically but in spirit). Also the fun and great times (and burns, which we didn't call burns) during those years, too -- just like the T7S characters. It was a mixture. Both harrowing in a lot of ways and fulfilling.

T9S isn't there. Maybe it won't ever be because it's not the same show as T7S and isn't intended to go that deeply or realistically into teen life.

But T7S does while still capturing the humor that exists during all the crap teens have to go through or get themselves into.

That being said, the T9S teens are a little younger than the T7S teens (talking about the characters, not actors). Leia fretting over having a first kiss with Jay is sweet, and it's definitely a dilemma fifteen-year-olds have.

But when I was fifteen, friends were often fretting about a lot more than a kiss. Jackie and Kelso's sexual relationship when she's a sophomore and he's a junior is closer to my specific experience (with a few first kisses sprinkled in).

I find myself and parts of my life in T7S. I connect to the characters, their connections to one another, and what they go through.

I love Red and Kitty in T9S and enjoy the teens' antics and personalities. Even if the show remains more surface with its depiction of teen life in the '90s, I hope it goes deeper with the characters and builds the connections / friendships among them so we understand*why* they care about one another and hang out (with Leia and Gwen's friendship as the exception since that gets good development in S1).

Give me a "Class Picture" (T7S, S4) type of flashback like how Fez became part of the group that shows why Oz chose the other T9S kids as friends and vice versa. Right now, I have no idea.

Gwen's brother, Nate, is Jay's best friend. Nate is dating Nikki, and Leia is Gwen and Nate's neighbor during the summer. That explains the *why* of their interactions. It doesn't explain or illustrate the deeper connections among them, however. With sixteen episodes for S2, I hope the writers use that space for episodes like T7S's "Hyde Moves In," "Sleepover," "Cat Fight Club," "Grandma's Dead," "Eric's False Alarm," "The Pill," and so on that showcase and develop the relationships among the characters.

---

Side note: If I knew had to add a *read more (under the cut)* on mobile, I would. 🫣

[gaysforbyler]

Rant post because you guys are my only friends, which is kind of embarrassing but the truth. You don’t need to read it i just wanted to get it out.

I hate complaining about my parents bc they’re actually the best parents in the world, but i think I’ve been trying so hard to put them in this perfect little box that i completely ignore how much they’ve fucked me up. So many adults in my life have bullied (emotionally abused?) me because of a mental disorder I have, and I’ve always left my parents off of that list because it really wasn’t that bad with them. They might have made a few offhanded comments, but it was definitely not on the same level at all. I would never classify them as abusive in any sense, but in doing so I ignore the fact that they hurt me in general. My dad just stood there while the “trusted” adults in my life made fun of me in front of dozens of people over and over again, and he did nothing to stop them. That hurts more than anything.

When i was thirteen my worst abuser came into my life. She was my coach, like most of the others, but i was old enough to where my parents didn’t have to watch over me. I went to practice alone, and she tormented me. She pulled me aside in front of my entire team, and scolded me for being disrespectful to her. She said that my actions were not the result of any mental disorder, because she was a psychologist and she would know best. (I wasn’t diagnosed with anything at the time. I thought i was fucking insane. I’m now diagnosed with selective mutism.) She threatened to kick me off the team if i didn’t fix it. I was scared shitless that she would go through with it, because I didn’t know how my parents would react. I thought they would blame me like they had before, so i spent the next year hiding what she did (and continued to do). I was so scared to go to practice that i nearly passed out every week when the time came around. Idk, i just feel like i should have been able to trust someone

I didn’t get diagnosed until i was fourteen. I wouldn’t have gotten diagnosed at all if my cousin hadn’t been diagnosed at the age of nine. It was too late for me. I watched her get better while I made no progress myself. In the past five years, I have only spent two in therapy, because they were too busy to find me a therapist. I can’t make friends, i can’t keep friends, i can’t get a job, i have breakdowns every time i go to the store, I’m wasting my entire life being scared of every human interaction, all because no one cared enough to figure out what the hell was wrong me. I’m never getting better. This is the rest of my life.

And i know i secluded myself from the age of eight. I used to spend all of my time alone as a kid, because it’s how i felt safest. I pushed my family away. But i still feel emotionally neglected. I can’t remember the last time i went to my parents with a problem. I don’t know if i ever have. Maybe that’s because of the anxiety, but i still feel like that’s their fault. I was a child. They could have pushed more, or done literally anything to research what was going on with me. That was their job, and now I’m facing the consequences