#like. I think that was the weirdest part???

[undead-discourse]

It’s the alienation that does it for me, and that doesn’t ever go away. Even among other aroace people who are sex/romance-favorable, even when we’re discussing a character who’s like us both in canon, I still don’t get to feel included because I am aroace and sex/romance-repulsed. That sense of being alone in a room doesn’t go away, even and especially when you’re in as close company as you could possibly ever get. We are still too Weird even among the Weirdest fandoms known for accepting people no matter how Weird they are, even when they’re trying as hard as they can to give a space to aroace people. We’re just that incompatible with the rest of the world. We don’t get to feel included in larger society, we don’t get to feel included in niche internet communities, and we even still don’t get to feel included in spaces revolving around being aroace. We don’t even get any escapism. I think feeling like a spectator is just part of it.

“Good representation” isn’t the key to feeling seen or included in fandom spaces for people like me. Other people have gotten to see themselves in Alastor, portray what their own relationships might look like, feel seen or heard or bond with other people similar to them they might’ve thought just didn’t exist, just like I do right now. Other people got to learn they aren’t alone, even if those communities are so so so niche, there is a community there for them— people out there who not only are just like they are, but who enjoys similar things to them and they can get along really well with. They aren’t entirely alone anymore, and they get to enjoy their own experiences through Alastor. Which I greatly respect, that’s beautiful and I’m happy for them. But I know I will never get to experience that the way they do, and it is heartbreaking to watch.

I learned that not only will good aroace representation never give me that sense of belonging or community like everyone else gets to experience, that there isn’t a magic little character that’ll fix everything and give me that connection to other people, but I’ve also learned that fandom spaces are just inherently not designed to include me, even and especially when there is that aroace character in the mix. I really am going into the kitchen and being shocked when there is food there. I will never feel like more than a spectator or an outsider listening in on a conversation I have no right being a part of, standing on the outside of people laughing and enjoying themselves and considering if I should just leave yet and if anyone would really notice, and I shouldn’t get my hopes up too high just because he’s written to be like me. Alastor (or anyone else for that matter) being aroace in canon won’t bring into existence a community that just doesn’t exist. I’m looking for a unicorn trying to feel included, even in a space as catered to me as I could possibly ever get. Being aroace and feeling like an alien are the same thing to me. And no matter how long I keep searching and searching and searching and finding nothing, it will never take me off of a planet I do not belong to. That’s what I’ve gotten out of Alastor being aroace.

It’s crazy how many people just don’t understand why a lot of aro and or ace people don’t like that Alaster gets shipped. It’s not that hard to understand we don’t have a lot to let ourselves lose. I mean can you name 10 asexual characters? 5? Can you name two aro characters. There’s the guy from Archie who they made have a sex scene in a movie version. There’s a few books. I think a background character in Heartstopper? Do you see the theme here??? You’re all queer people, do you not get it? How it feels to have nothing? Is it so wrong to be upset that there’s finally an outwardly aroace person in popular media and instead of people embracing that they’re fighting on the internet about why it’s ok to ignore it? And I will never in my fucking life have anything against the people who are aro and or ace and portray him in THEIR experiences, even if it is a romance or sex favorable experience, but it is obvious that way too many of you guys are allo and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t even like him as a character that much, he isn’t even made by an aroace artist. The show isn’t even that fucking good, I just want to keep someone like me for once in my life. If there were a million other aroace characters I wouldn’t care, but it just hurts seeing erasure coming from my own community. It just sucks, man, I don’t know. It just sucks

[alastair-1205]

Time for my weekly insane about Geo thoughts. I cannot imagine how terrified he must still be of Cole leaving him. Like yea he did the whole lying about his powers thing already, but it goes deeper than that insecurity from being thrown into the land of lost things.

He must have spent years hearing about this other, amazing, powerful family that Cole once had and that he missed deeply, and of course Geo knows Cole loves him, but he's sure that if it came down to it that Cole wouldn't actually choose him. But he can take some selfish comfort knowing that this old family isn't in the picture anymore. He feels like an asshole, but he's felt worse so...

But then this family come back and brings those world ending levels of responsibility that Geo had only heard of with them. Cole is dragged away by that and Geo is far from thinking it's a good idea to insist he stays, but now Cole knows he's been lying about his powers, and now they can all leave the land of lost things so Cole doesn't have a moral obligation there either. And of course Cole loves Geo and their kids and the family they've made, but in the face of the end of the world, he can't stay, and in the face of the ninja coming back, he may not ever return.

But that doesn't happen. Sure some shit goes down and Bonzel may be missing (she's not dead. She can't be. Just missing in a place someone can find her one day.) But Geo isn't alone in that. Silver linings.

But then the other thing about Geo that I'm not normal about rn is how weird it must feel for him to interact with the rest of the ninja.

Like Cole obviously has this dynamic and relationship that's older than Spitz and Fritz and had been born from blood and trials and heartbreak and Geo and the Finders are just. There. On the outskirts of that but never being integrated the way people like Sora and Arin are (Geo cannot fucking escape feeling like an outsider within already established groups damn).

And like of course the ninja have been kind to him, but there's a disconnect there. Cole is the only connection between his two families and if he isn't there, that fact becomes pretty obvious pretty quick. They've truama bonded a bit, but in a group as traumatized as the ninja that doesn't mean as much as it maybe should lol.

I was honestly just thinking about that part in DR season 2 where Lloyd was injured and Geo was just there. Like it was almost funny and the fact that it was funny is kinda sad. Like he's trying to help, clearly he cares, and they aren't telling him to leave either, but he's put of place. Wanting to help but not being close enough to do so in a way that matters, but also not detached enough to just walk away. The weirdest sort of limbo. But he loves Cole and Cole loves him and he hasn't left yet so maybe they'll figure something out.

[arrowfleur]

✩‧₊˚ Redacted HC’s ✩‧

I’ve been pretty shit at writing and posting this past year, which is crappy because I enjoy it so I wanted to do something that was less pressure than writing fics but could still make people happy. I’ve put every main redacted couple - plus a few extras - on a spin wheel and will be writing a long list of HC’s each day depending on who I get :)

Anyways, Part 1: Lasko and Dear

Dear loves thrifting but they didn’t want to take Lasko with them at first in case he found something they wanted, before they did. Now they borrow each others clothes so it wouldn’t matter anyway.

When they eventually took him he spent the entire time trying to find things they liked.

Dear has two toned hair

Lasko has never stopped thinking that dear is the coolest person to ever walk the earth, ever.

Sometimes dear wears colour contacts for fun

Both of them have a pocket watch on a chain

For their first anniversary Dear bought Lasko a locket, with a picture of the entire Damn Squad in it.

He added a photo of them to the other side

Dear has pet rats, they take such good care of them and their cage is huge

Lasko was slightly weary at first but he warmed up to them pretty well

Dear is very good at fixing things.

One of the first times they went to his apartment, his Ac broke. Dear just calmly listened to his apologetic rant about it before asking where the toolbox was.

Dear has tattoos behind their ears

Lasko is very good at saving but he’s not tight and always tries to pay for the whole table.

Very rarely has he succeeded

Dear has a collection of paper boy hats.

Lasko wears earmuffs when it’s cold because he always gets earaches

Dear has curled their hair with coke cans before

They love old black and white movies

Lasko likes really crappy b-movies

Can’t be let down if you know it’s going to be bad before it starts

Dear can keep up very well with Damien’s academic discussions and sometimes debates him just for the sake of it. Damien enjoys the challenge.

Dear is not the biggest Christmas enjoyer but this year they’re looking forward to it.

Lasko has booked a couple of Christmas markets for them

Dear HATES the idea of a cruise. Not because of the ocean but because they can’t get off the boat once it sets off.

Lasko always takes those little pots of jam and the little shampoo/conditioner bottles whenever he goes to a hotel

Neither of them can ice skate well whatsoever

Lasko has and will continue to use those little penguins meant for children. Dear finds it fucking hilarious all while they’re clinging to the side of the rink themselves

They share grandpa jumpers

When they first started dating, dear would pretend to forget their lanyard so that lasko would have to go down and let them in.

They both wear lots of rings and love playing with each others hands

Lasko used to wear those fake glasses from Claire’s

Dear is so casually flirty with Lasko that he thought it was just their personality at first

That’s why they eventually just had to go into his office and straight up ask him out

Dear kisses Lasko’s nose often, especially when they’re saying goodbye to each other or he’s severely overthinking

Dear really enjoys those mugs that change colour when you put hot water in them

Lasko has an entire cupboard dedicated to board games

Dear was delighted

Dear reads random niche comics and webtoons

And they have a lot of figurines

Lasko is an unsweetened oat milk enjoyer!!

Dear inhales food like it’s nobody’s business

It doesn’t last five minutes on their plate

They also never get indigestion

Their go-to cocktail is an old fashioned

Lasko hates it

Dear will simply repeat what Lasko says in a teasing tone to fluster him

Or they’ll just randomly start acting like the weirdest story is sexy.

‘And then he, he told me they’d have to charge me more for these stupid tires that I didn’t even ask for!’

‘ and what did you say? 😏

‘Well I- I told him,

‘ did you stick up for yourself? 😏😏

‘ well I told him I wasn’t going to pay for it’

*dear looking him up and down’

‘Good job, I don’t like it when other play dirty with you’

And they’re making out, Lasko doesn’t know how they do it they just have a way. It literally doesn’t even make sense.

Lasko’s hair grows incredibly quick. He shaves ALOT.

His skins is also so beautiful, it’s so soft and clear and glowy.

Dear has acne scars and they do little skincare nights together but Lasko thinks they’re HOT AS FUCK

Okay that’s all, also my proof that I got these guys first

[lightbluedevil]

I saw someone saying that Xue Yang taking care of Xiao Xingchen’s dead body was crazy and like what

Washing and changing dead people into clean clothes is a normal thing to do and it’s done to basically everyone when they die (and I think we have as people distanced ourselves from death way too much but that’s another topic)

I would’ve been so much more pissed at him if he just left Xxc in a really bloody state for all those years

Sometimes I think that when hating on Xue Yang people choose the weirdest parts to hate about, there’s so many reasons, how is that the part you’re focusing on?

[maniatown]

Hi again. I'm not sure if anyone will see this, or care, but here's an explanation of all the references and metaphors in this:

The first two stanzas are pretty straightforward, retelling Noelle's story of finding the secret door in the ice palace maze, except there's an emphasis on the innate, intuitive nature of the discovery - oh, and it's in the second person. I wonder who's talking to her!

The rest of the poem turns to instructions.

"Whispering static sounds" are a reference to the "garbage noise" with which Gaster is associated. “Not walking the middle road" I took from the first ruins puzzle in Undertale-not that I think it has anything to do with Deltarune, I just liked the phrasing.

"And rip apart the seams of dreams/and shift the tide of data streams" - the imagery becomes more destructive, suggesting that Noelle, or the player, needs to take the game apart to see what makes it tick. The "dreams" refer to dark worlds, since that's how Noelle sees them, but I also wanted to suggest questioning the reality of the light world in classic neo-platonic jrpg fashion (an early draft of this part had a line about "the eggshell of the world cracking"...this was I started watching rgu lol).

"The weirdest route" is... a bit cheeky, I admit. But it goes back to what I said about breaking the game - Snowgrave is part of it, too, and I had the theory that it was necessary to get the true ending of the game in the back of my mind while I was writing this.

The shadows growing refers to Don't Forget, and the key only being found when Noelle "can't see" is meant to be similar to a lot of things in chapter 1 - like the first puzzle, where the eyes have to be blinded by darkness.

Finally, the speaker reveals himself in the last line - but is it Dess? Or Gaster? OoOoh...

A poem about ice_palace_glaceir. Transcript below:

There is a door beyond these walls

And you know that, because it calls

To you. No need to think or guess—

Your fingers know which keys to press,

And if you listen, if you trust,

They lead you through, then up, at last,

And though the door has long been shut,

You’ll find the key. Just hear your gut,

And let it lead you out of bounds,

To where the whispered static sounds.

And never walk the middle road—

Look in between the lines of code

And rip apart the seams of dreams,

And shift the tides of data streams.

Search in and out, and never doubt—

The right way is the WEIRDEST ROUTE.

The one nobody thinks to go,

Where with each step, the shadows grow.

There, at the end, once you can’t see,

You’ll find the key—and with it, ME.

[foxgloveinspace]

I finally watched dune part 2.

I have some oddly mixed feelings about but I think I liked it???

(I put all my thoughts in the tags for some reason and I’m not rewriting them)

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

[myokk]

💘

[redbootsindoriath]

Apparently in my absence this post had its 1000-notes-iversary.

This time we get to see the culprit responsible for ruining our heroes' lives as well.

I've really missed you guys, by the way. I know I've said that already, but I'm serious. Once or twice this year I've been right on the brink of coming back but schedule stuff always keeps me from letting myself commit to that again, and that in turn has kept me from posting anything at all. But I've been in an unexpected drawing mood lately and so if I can get enough stuff to set up a queue we might pretend I'm back for a month or so sometime this year. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see. No promises though. That's why I'm hiding this paragraph under the cut.

Transcription:

[Beren:] "Uhhh...barkeep...I think he's had enough now..." [Tolkien:] "No, I don't think he has...!"

[bacchuschucklefuck]

In the vein of your class swap au, I have a crack au where the Bad Kids eventually end up having all the classes between the six of them, and essentially become a self-contained powerhouse. They all start with their canon Junior classes, but eventually-

Riz, in his goal of being the most perceptive person ever, takes to Ranger. It also helps with his long range guns, which he and Gorgug start personalising in semi-illegal ways

Adaine goes for Monk. It’s difficult, because Monk and Wizard aren’t that compatible, but Adaine has the know-how and innate anger to take it on

Kristin looks into the background of her nature/solar Godesses, and takes some levels of Druid to help with interpreting the symbolism and imagery, and eventually uses the spells similar to clerical. Doesn’t use beast forms often, but finds them especially useful when Kristin’s dex or athletics would fail

Not sure how Sorcerer would play into it. Maybe Fig, with already high charisma, would accidentally fall into it, and just decides to keep it because she realises it’s the class they’re missing

this is awesome I love the idea of coming into dnd with the mentality of ash ketchum

[raggydraws]

When you watch a dungeon cooking show and your first thought to make some lil' guys...

Say hello to Elleroy Kits (Left, any pronouns) and Wittlebea Guyz (Right, They/She). One talks way to much and the other listens, can you tell who??

Anyways, Elleroy and Wittlebea are a party of two so far who mostly study the medicinal properties of the plants/monsters in the first coupe of floors. They'll occasionally take jobs from the half-foot guild to make more research money but for most part just do their own thing.

I have not read the manga nor am i caught up on the anime (I'm at the red dragon) so pls no spoilers!

[crescentfool]

some screenshots from the september 20th p3 reload trailer!

[ghostwaffleheimer]

I think Gakuen Handsome is the best anime I have ever seen, the likes of which no anime could ever reach. My Hero Academia could never hope to have writing so good, and as good as Jujutsu Kaisen and Chainsaw Man are in terms of art and animation, there is something Gakuen Handsome has that they don't. The characters are more interesting than Naruto's, and it is miles more romantic than Junjou Romantica with how it really touches your heart. The plot twist is gripping and will keep you on the edge of your seat! The comedy is even on par with Ghost Stories and dare I say it Pop Team Epic!! You guys should all go watch Gakuen Handsome today right now!!! In my opinion it's too short!!!!

[swordbreakerz]

Being aromantic and finding that out in ur 20s is soooooooo funny bc I met the 3 people I consider my soulmates (one of whom is now my qpp) in october of 2016, and both before and after this i dated a few people but as i grew closer and closer w this group and also came into my gender and sexuality over the yrs, id sometimes wonder why i didnt crave romantic fulfillment anymore, and not fantasize about having a long term bf or anything. It didn't really worry me? Like, I wasn't concerned about it, but I would go like huh wonder what's up w that. Oh well not my problem!, every now and then

And then thru making friends w a bunch of arospec folks I was finally like oohhhhhhhh it's because my emotional fulfillment needs are already met and these people and our friendship is an intrinsic part of my being and i love them more than i can ever hope to describe. Got it!

[cosmogyros]

I met up with a friend yesterday. By the end of our time together (about three hours), as usual, I had a lot of mucus build-up in my nose and throat. As usual, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to intensely blow my nose for several minutes and try to get rid of it all.

It was still so bad when I got home in the evening that I couldn't sing. It's still so bad today, 24 fucking hours later, that I can't even record a voice message to a friend. I keep having to violently clear my throat and blow my nose (all in vain, it barely makes a difference), and finding myself unconsciously grinding my teeth because I have so much tension in my entire head from struggling to breathe.

I wish I knew what my problem was. I wish even one of the numerous doctors I've consulted about this problem over the years had even pretended to take me seriously instead of just saying "Hmmm" while nodding very solemnly and then basically saying the doctor equivalent of "You get mucus build-up and develop breathing issues... specifically after hanging out with other people and talking to them for a couple of hours? Sorry but that sounds like bullshit, I can't help you."

I'm so tired of having a mysteriously dysfunctional respiratory system :( Wtf is my problem. I'll never be able to be a real singer at this rate.

[katsy-kitty]

ok I'm gonna be vulnerable for a moment

I'm prescribed Xanax* and while I know it can cause amnesia when taken in too large amounts, what happened yesterday is a bit different

I took one pill in the late evening because I'd only slept for less than 3 hours the night before and wanted to fall sleep earlier and also was feeling anxious. I waited for some time and decided it hadn't done that much of a difference, so I took two more. So, three pills in total - not that much.

Well... I don't really remember going to bed, but:

I woke up in my bed fully clothed - not bad; I sometimes do that even when sober

I left the computer, music, the TV, and the bathroom light on - not THAT hard to imagine; has happened before when sober

I apparently forgot to take my daily evening medication, which is a bit of shame because it improves my sleep quality and also should be taken daily

THERE'S A WHOLE HUGE 1KG PACK OF SALT ON MY DESK IN THE LIVING ROOM

MY BRA IS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTERTOP

THE MILK WAS OUT OF THE FRIDGE EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN USE IT (also it was my last one and I doubt it's still good so RIP milk...)

I HAD SOME DRY, USED TEA IN A TEA INFUSER AND NOW IT'S JUST FUCKING ALL OVER THE DISH DRYER AND THE COUNTERTOP FOR SOME REASON

THE MICROWAVE DOOR WAS OPEN BUT I DON'T REMEMBER MICROWAVING ANYTHING (I WOULD have noticed because the light is on in the microwave when the door's open and I have a long corridor leading to the kitchen with the microwave at the end of it - that's how I noticed IN THE MORNING WHEN IT WAS LIGHT, so at night it would be extra visible)

I'd opened a pack of crisps, left one on the countertop and just left the rest OPEN on the countertop without eating almost any of it (I know this one doesn't seem that bad, but I'd never leave crisps wide open because they get stale)

THE SCARY PART: I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT HAPPENING

THANKFULLY, when I checked in the morning, I DIDN'T MAKE ANY TUMBLR POSTS WHILE BEING A ZOMBIE (so all the deranged posts from yesterday are just me)

1.5 year ago, when I was doing reeeaaally badly, I took way more and then went to a birthday party of a person close to me, where I met some of his friends whom I'd only heard about before and had been excited to meet, AND I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THAT PARTY OR THE PEOPLE I MET EVEN THOUGH I ACTED AND TALKED NORMALLY AND IT WASN'T APPARENT TO ANYONE THAT I WAS FUNCTIONALLY A FUCKING ZOMBIE. And I cannot ever recover these memories afaik. Do you know how fucking scary it is to not remember what you did the night before? What if I did something reprehensible? What if I was outside and broke the law and got arrested? What if I did something extremely reckless? I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON I WAS WHEN THIS WAS HAPPENING. I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS MYSELF AND HAD MY NORMAL VALUES AND OPINIONS OR IF I TURN INTO A DIFFERENT KIND OF PERSON. All I know, because someone close to me has told me, is that I am meaner and more egocentric. I DON'T WANT TO BE MEAN

btw for anyone wondering: amnesia IS a legitimate side effect of Xanax and not something specific to me. I'm not sure if all leaflets list it (I'm not in the US), but you can check Wikipedia for more info

*generic Xanax, to be exact, which is the same in effect btw

PS. I don't abuse Xanax anymore and even when I did, it didn't ever any feel-good effects for me; I only used it to numb myself / make myself go to sleep. I don't even see why people use it recreationally (apparently) because if I wasn't extremely anxious, like having a panic attack, it wasn't very helpful or pleasant to take.

All of the above doesn't mean that I am against Xanax. I think it's a great medicine for panic attacks because it (a) works, (b) acts extremely fast for something that's a pill ingested through the mouth.

But it's extremely important that people don't abuse it, and that's why doctors should be responsible when prescribing it and inform patients of the side effects and the harms of abusing it.

Xanax is also very addictive and the addiction is hard to break (not from personal experience this time). And abusing it can lead to long-lasting (I'm not saying "permanent") cognitive impairment even once you've stopped taking it.