#Larian

[mintharabaenrelore]

The Larian Advent Calendar is the best thing that's ever happened to me. BEHOLD!

"CHAPTER IV

BEARER OF A SOLEMN WARNING

They landed in a dim-lit hall, where a girl of ten stood standing; soaked in the blood of the assassin sent to kill her in the landing. A wicked smile crossed her face, twisted and serene, and in return, Minthara’s grin grew reflecting what she’d seen.

“A fine death", purred Minthara at what her younger self had done; her eyes gleaming with memories of early battles she had won. And that one time that her mother tried to kill her in the dark. When she first felt something within her igniting like a spark.

The owlbear’s grumble filled the air at an octave deemed concerning. As if to say, perhaps Minthara missed points in lessons she should be learning. “Look on this and change your ways,” Fredrik warbled, feathers ruffled. “Murder poisons all within, and soon your heart will buckle.”

The ghost was sure his warning struck, conveyed in solemn swell, and her nodding smile assured him that she’d understood it well. Yet all she caught were frantic clucks, the words lost in a crack; for her potion of animal speaking lay stashed in her other slacks."

Larian, I love you. Minthara fans, this is a good day!

[gothicspork]

Three dads wishing their daughter good luck at her Catholic school final exams.

[wetsocksinbed]

Baldurs Gate 3 is so wild when you realise how vastly different the game is depending on if you choose Tav or Dark Urge

Dark Urge Playthrough: you’re the child of Bhaal, but unlike the Bhaalspawn, you are created solely by Bhaal himself. The first true child of Bhaal. The daughter of one of your father’s previous Bhaalspawn turns on you, attacks you and tries to kill you. In your dying state, she infects you with a parasite so that you’ll die an incredibly humiliating death, and become her slave.

By some miracle you end up on the same nautiloud ship as a Sharron Cleric who happens to to be carrying a gith artefact that contains Baldur himself. Baldur, who was made a mind flayer and is now calling himself the Emperor, realises there’s an incredibly powerful Bhaalspawn on the ship, and that he can use them to his advantage. The power you have will help him destroy Gortash. Of course he picks you, it makes so much sense.

On your way to Baldurs Gate you find out through an unsent letter that you used to be into Gortash. When you get to Baldurs Gate, the man you used to fuck turns out to be an absolute loser and with horror you realise he is still into you. It’s okay though, he’s very easy to kill.

You end up facing off against Orin, your niece, and kill her. Your father appears to you and offers you the chance to become his Slayer. On the high chance you turn him down, he murders you in front of your loved ones, and leaves you to rot.

Then Jergal, the actual Lord of the End of Everything, the original God of Death, who was the very being that turned you father into a God all that time ago, who’s been in your camp for weeks pretending to be this undead scribe called Withers, appears next to your corpse and brings you back to life, basically adopts you, states that he will protect you from Bhaal, and announces that as long as he lives, you will never die. You’re essentially immortal.

Tav Playthrough: you’re a random nobody that was unlucky enough to get kidnapped by Mind Flayers. The Emperor must pick one of the many idiots on the ship to be his pawn. He sees Tav and thinks “ugh, yeah this one will do”.

[kawareo]

Fun stuff happening over on twitter.com

[depressedandasian]

"Shadowheart and Astarion would talk shit about other people together."

Shadowheart would talk shit about Astarion to that man's face.

[gunpowdercarousel]

Larian patch notes are always the weirdest thing because there's always some shit in there like "if you marry auntie ethel after becoming a lycanthrope, your loyal companion ketheric thorm will no longer dab uncontrollably at the wedding"

and it's like ??????????????????????????? that was a thing you could do???????

[passionesolja]

Ascended!Astarion Stans being mad because Larian is making him potentially cringe in the Patch 7 update need to stop reading the fanfic. Ascended!Astarion has always been cringe. He becomes a 10 Charisma mf who thinks he has 26 Charisma. Him being like “I’m the Sun King” is exactly what he’d say. Sorry that Larian isn’t feeding into y’all kinks or whatever but the man is cringe. Unless you thirsty for Ascended!Astarion, every time he speaks he’s cringe and embarrassing. Like he turns all brand new the second he becomes ascended. I think they should make him more socially unaware and cringe tbh. Ya man is embarrassing I’m sorry but even him saying “on your knees” is cringey bc why tf this dude with 8 Strength and 10 Charisma acting like this lmaooo

[artschoolglasses]

Lae'zel's Christmas Gift 💚

[dmbakura]

abdirak if he slayed

[superectojazzmage]

Typical day in Baldur's Gate 3 camps

Dark Urge: *jizzes in his pants at the thought of killing people and than breaks down cry-laughing while putting a gun in his mouth and yelling that he's really gonna do it this time*

Lae'Zel: Oh my Vlaakith, I NEED to fuck this guy.

Shadowheart: Typical. I don't know why I bother with you pitiful- HOLY SHIT THE DOG JUST DID A ROLL, SOMEONE GET ME THE CAMERA

Karlach: I burned it by touching it and than accidentally crushed it with my huge muscles, soldier. Sorry.

Gale: *choking to death on a magic pendant he tried to eat*

Wyll: Does anyone care about Gale dying?

Astarion: *painting his nails* No.

Halsin: I'LL SAVE YOU, GALE. *turns into a bear and runs away to kill goblin children*

Minsc: I'LL SAVE YOU, GALE. *throws Boo at Astarion's face*

Minthara: I'm hotter than all of you, have I mentioned that?

Emperor: You know who's REALLY hot? You if you become a mind flayer. Use the tadpole. Please. I'm begging you, just a little. Use the tadpole. Please, for the love of Ao, use it.

Withers: Doust any of thoust hath games on yon phones?

Jaheira:

[galdinamary]

Astarion as Tarot card - XII - 'The hanged man'

[ifallfox]

Astarion lunae lumen

Bg3 fanart

For full resolution and extra content please check my DeviantArt

[erionmakuo]

Halsin! The man, the bear, the legend

[forystr]

something fun and a bit different!

[nobigneil]

[bhaalspawnshitposting]

TO ALL THE SAVE SCUMMERS:

It looks like the patch notes mention that saving on a dice roll screen will preserve that dice roll, so keep in mind to try to save BEFORE entering the roll screen!!