#like yes there's all a lot of meta nuance here

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the choose violence ask game!!

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

for the choose violence ask game!

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

i've decided i'm really picking violence with my answer this time: sunshine Robin Jason Todd. like the whole fanon that runs with him just being a bundle of joy and the sweetest boy ever who likes to read and is a nerd and an angel. really any version of Jaybin where Jason is a happy-go-lucky character because. that's just? not canon?

don't get me wrong Jason is certainly more nuanced in his Robin years than "the angry one" and he does have happy moments. but this whole "Robin is magic" has really gotten away from us. firstly, i'm begging fans to understand: Jason is not the only Robin who has said this. Tim has *also* said being Robin gives him magic. it's not unique to Jason, it's simply the function of the Robin mantle no matter who is in it. it can't be used to characterize Jason bc it's not unique to him. and his other happier moments were either 1, Pre-Crisis, where he had a different backstory and none of it is canon or 2, comics that were more light-hearted in general so his personality was shaped to match the tone. in all of his Batman and Detective Comics appearances, he's much more grounded and nuanced. he *has* happy moments they're certainly important to him. he is a smart kid with a book-reading hobby and a kindness to him. but he's not a sunshine "Robin is magic" boy. he is driven by his anger, even as Robin. he has violent reactions repeatedly and he's not the best at coping with his emotions because *he's a teenage boy*. a teenage boy who grew up on the streets and had to virtually raise himself. it makes him hardened and on edge most of the time. it makes him reactionary.

and trying to call every instance where Jason was angry as Robin bad writing just... gets rid of his whole Robin era tbh. there are a lot of sides to him as Robin and one of those sides is very angry violence. and his writers can be blamed for that- they didn't like him and wanted him dead and it was very clear. but at the same time, it's still consistent characterization. so i've really disliked the new wave of fanon that won't let Jason have *any* flaws as Robin bc god forbid you acknowledge the violent things he's done bc they you're making him the "angry Robin" and that's bad now, to fanon. he was a flawed Robin. they were *all* flawed Robins. trying to cleanse his Robin years just makes him more boring, imo.

[al-the-remix]

New ask game! Please recommend at least three of your favorite BuckTommy fic authors, artists, meta writers, gif makers, or edit makers. Maybe sing their praises a bit if you'd like. And if you want to, send this to a few other people and spread the good vibes 🥰

@thatmexisaurusrex thanks for the ask!

BuckTommy Fan Work Recs

Fic Authors:

(obviously this isn't a comprehensive list, but a collection of fics I've read recently and really enjoyed)

all the vices i can't give up by @starryeyedjanai - this one is so fun and hot, I love sexting/identity porn fics so obviously I clicked right away. I also really enjoy this author's Buck pov; just funny, horny, zero impulse control Evan Buckly and his dick pics against the world.

one way trip to the sun by @newtkelly - this fic felt like a special treat crafted specifically for me. Zombies are my all time favourite movie monster and I'm a big George Romero junkie so finding a bucktommy/dawn of the dead mashup was like striking gold. I also just really loved this version of Tommy and also the narrative structure of the fic. Some really cool stuff done here.

You’ve Got Me Up in a Frenzy by @emphasisonthehomo - Trans!Tommy. Trans!Tommy with bottom surgery, how I love you so. This is so sweet and hot and nuanced and also fun. 10/10.

bright as the morning, soft as the rain. series by @milominderbindered - these were some of the first buck/tommy fics I read and I really loved this version of an alternate first meeting. Buck and Tommy's dynamic here is so cute and fun and flirty, I enjoyed reading Buck's slower realization here that, yes, this man in flirting with him, and oh boy is he into it. Also, there's just something about this version of tommy that really gets me, it's like I can see through the screen how much of an absolute catch he is.

1-800-DAYBREAK by @epiphainie - (ngl I love all your fics) but this one especially. I just really enjoyed seeing a younger Tommy and Buck here where their dynamic is flipped--Tommy being the one unsure of himself and Buck reassuring him that what he wants is okay-- it was also very hot and sweet. I'm a big sucker for phone sex operator fics, so this just reeled me right in instantly.

Goon by @alchemistc - I did not foresee my venture outside of hrpf to end up with me reading hrpf... This has everything I love about the genre and it's best tropes: hotel escapades, and locker room intimacy, and the hero worship to sexuality realization pipeline (...and Sidney Crosby haunting the narrative). Looking forward to seeing how it ends!

Paint Me in Neon and Make Me Glow by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels - Fun, sexy, caring, D/s kink-discovery. I love how out of his mind horny Buck is for Tommy in this, and for being watched, and specifically getting watched WITH Tommy. I loved every section of this fic and how the author kept upping the stakes as they built towards the climax (ha) of the fic, which I wont spoil but you should definitely got find out for yourself.

take guesses on exits, one has to be right series by @queermccoy - The trucker!Tommy / lot lizard!Buck AU I didn't know I needed but am now eagerly awaiting the next instalment of. This was surprisingly cute and as well as scorchingly hot.

bottom tommy pleasures series by winterbucky (WinterLadyy) (if anyone knows their tumblr @ i'll tag them) - Just what it says on the tin! Bottom!Tommy I love you 😌

Artists:

@kinardsboy - Their art is always so fun and cute! I love all the buck/tommy memes they make.

@blue-arts-stuff - Their art is both sweet and also manages to hit me in the feels every time.

@lazybakerart - All of their art is beautiful, but I especially love what they've done for the @kinley-cafe!

(And of course Kinley Cafe itself for doing an amazing job spreading positivity and engagement within the fandom.)

Gif Makers/Editors:

@lengthofropes - their gifs are all so gorgeous, I don't understand how they manage half the stuff they do, but I love staring at it an inch away from my face like brightly coloured visual candy.

@sunglassesmish - my Tommy Kinard / LFJ gif dealer and has provided me with enough images of the man to construct a 3D model in my mind to rotate while painting.

@xofemeraldstars - I always look forward to their daily kinley posts! My obsession is being enabled and i'm okay with that.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Hi. I really enjoy your analysis and I was wondering if you could explain why Wally is so mean to Bart? Maybe mean is too strong but as you read Impulse it gets hard to read sometimes because it comes off as just bullying and not just 90s sitcom teasing.

Hello!

The most direct answer for why Wally is the way he is with Bart is simultaneously simple and complex with nuance that any reader of Wally's run should have been able to catch onto pretty easily.

And no, the answer isn't just "he's a jerk" even though yes, he is a jerk (Bart is too) but there's more to it.

1.) He was a little incredibly jealous of Don and Dawn for existing and he felt like their existence threatened his status with his Uncle Barry. We all know blood =/= family in this circle, but to Wally it meant MORE to him.

It's also important to note that Wally and Barry's relationship is unique in the greater examples of DC as Wally refers to Barry thoroughly as his uncle, and their tether together was through marriage (Iris). Even so, Wally was as close to Barry as a son, and the feelings they had were mutual. Wally was not just assigning himself a position within Barry's life erroneously, he is family. Period.

The Flash (1987) #109

Wally knows that Barry had kids (Iris told him and Bart had to come from somewhere) but when Jenni shows up we finally see his true introspection and rumbling thoughts about the situation of them - that he is jealous of them even though he's learned that Barry dies when they are young and didn't even get to have a relationship with him.

The Flash (1987) #114

Later, Wally finally gets to meet Don and Dawn in the future and things are tense between all of them at first. Wally is self conscious of his thoughts concerning them, that he is jealous, and there is some mutual jealousy between all three because the Tornado Twins, while Barry's children, grew up without him when Wally did.

Wally got to have a father/child relationship with Barry and they didn't.

The Flash (1987) #114

The Twins let this go and Wally does partially but there are other instances where Wally persists there is a rivalry between them later. For Wally the biodetermination is very much a part of his insecurities in this situation.

(also this is a side note they are not the catalyst or inspiration to the Legion of Super-Heroes but they do need to die to make way for a future to have it, Wally doesn't know this and probably just assumes they were)

The Flash (1987) #148

Wally continues to be jealous but he's emotionally intelligent enough to know it's not appropriate. It never was, now or otherwise.

So Wally's jealously and deep desire to be as close to Barry as possible manifested in some redirected tension onto Bart who is blood related to Barry.

2.) Bart reminds him of himself when he was kid, and he is ashamed of how he was.

This point is something Wally admits directly as a reason why he is so short with him.

The Flash (1987) #92

It's also extremely necessary to remember that Wally grew up with Rudy West as a father who was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. This is where we get meta about Wally and this is more speculation because we don't have Wally on panel saying this but; Bart reminding him of himself as a kid very easily could remind Wally of that house, that relationship, that abuse and it sets him on edge. This is something that is common among trauma survivors.

3.) Wally is young, insecure, traumatized, stressed, and Bart is a lot.

Wally here is in his early 20s, and while he was shown to be in therapy in a previous issue, he still has years of trauma built up to deal with - and not all of it is due to being raised in an incredibly abusive household with Rudy West.

When Wally gets stressed, he lashes out and gets short, Bart in particular in his introductory comics stressed him out on top of the stress he was already experiencing with Kobra.

Bart in his earlier comics was utterly feral - his own high energy and inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality led to some stressful situations between him and Wally. Wally is just not equipped with the tools to deal with Bart, mostly PATIENCE, so it led to mutual aggravation.

Bart pushes, Wally pushes, Bart pushes back and it's a pretty solid circle between them.

4.) He is in fact a jerk, and it's the result of the sum of his trauma and personality. Regardless of his status as a hero, regardless that Bart and him do have good moments.

The later issues of Impulse show this very clearly.

Impulse (1995) #82

Some people prefer to interpret Wally and Bart's relationship as sibling-like where the older sibling teases the younger one - and if you do prefer this relationship between them there is nothing stopping you from doing so, but there is more nuance behind Wally's shortness with Bart and it makes him 1000% more interesting of a character.

Impulse (1995) #84

Bart calls Wally out on his behavior in one of the last few issues of his series where it ties everything together with their relationship - Bart identifies that Wally's past is what drives him to behave the ways he does with him, and it is bringing up the past and reminding Wally that he is being a scroach that he finally talks to Bart.

It was a major step in their relationship, but unfortunately, as any Bart reader knows, it did not stay this good because of the next point.

5.) Conflicting personalities add more depth to stories and generally make a story better. Bart having a grating personality and a tough relationship with the current Flash of the time was the story the writers WANTED to tell and keep intact well into Teen Titans.

Wally doesn't KNOW Bart, not really, and he never really learns enough about him due to his chronic absences in his life - so he never got to SEE him in any real depth other than during the brief moments their comics intersected. He only sees him the way he thinks he is, not the way he ACTUALLY is.

Teen Titans (2003) #1

stfu wally

Having a beloved hero figure in a story simply not believe in one of the protagonists offers a growth subplot for the writer to focus on. Unfortunately, for Bart and Wally, it was a subplot that lasted a very very long time. This conflict between them could have ended with Impulse #84 but Geoff didn't want it to, so it didn't.

So that's the general reason why Wally is the way he is. He's not a villain to Bart and they DO get along plenty of times - but at the end of the day he was also a jerk to him (Max was too but we're not getting into that right now).

[writing-for-life]

The Portrayal of Womanhood in A Game of You

I’ll be honest with you: Writing about The Sandman with a focus on (queer) women surely feels different in light of the recent allegations.

This meta has been languishing in my drafts for a long time, and since I’m currently clearing the pile, I will still publish it. Mostly because these views are mine and not someone else’s. And also because they’re critical to a degree. However, if you feel that these are topics that you currently find hard to engage with, this is the exit sign (I totally get it).

With that out of the road, let’s talk about the women of A Game of You (and why it was always one of my least favourite arcs, despite the fact that my literary and thematic preferences should have made it one of my favourite ones)…

Gender roles are a central theme in A Game of You. Before the arc even moves into these themes on a deeper level, we already get this:

Barbie tells Wanda that she wasn’t allowed to read comics when she was a young girl. And that immediately struck a chord with me upon my first reading as a teenager: I was allowed to read comics, but I still remember getting the side-eye, especially from boys. Somehow, you didn’t belong to their club (even if you arguably knew more about Batman than they did 🤣). The reason Barbie gives us is that reading comics supposedly rendered her “unladylike” (yes, comics were considered “boyish”, at least when I was a teenager, and this is exactly the time we’re talking about here). But it’s not just about how a girl is supposed to act—it’s also about actively excluding her from something that’s only for men/boys. And while the topic of, “What’s a girl supposed (and allowed!) to be like?” isn’t something either particularly dwell on in that moment, Wanda faces the struggle of having to define and fight for her womanhood daily: As a trans woman, she feels resistance on a constant basis. When she talks about Weirdzos from the Hyperman comics, this is actually a nod to DC’s Bizarro, who could be described as Superman’s shadow (there’s a whole story why they were called Weirdzos instead of Bizarros in The Sandman, but that’d lead too far here. You’ll probably find it on Google).

Close enough to the “real thing”, but always “slightly off”

And Wanda carries the shadow of her biology. All the time. There’s no escape for her, no respite, no true support.

We also see this in a scene with Hazel, one of Wanda's neighbours who lives in a lesbian relationship with her girlfriend Foxglove. Hazel noticed that Wanda has "a thingie." Despite the fact that a lot of “weird” things are happening in those panels, part of that is definitely that Wanda has not fully (in Hazel’s eyes) transitioned:

What is she, exactly (not who)?

And that question gets answered very painfully when Wanda, Hazel, Foxglove, and Thessaly come together to free Barbie from being trapped in the Dreaming. Thessaly is sure she can defeat the Cuckoo that holds Barbie captive. However, she needs menstrual blood to perform a ritual that will allow them to traverse the Moon Road into the Dreaming. During this process, Thessaly insensitively refers to Wanda as a man and prevents her from joining the journey with Foxglove and Hazel (and no, this isn’t about “Thessaly the TERF”—I already made my position on that clear and think that whole discussion needs a lot more nuance than fandom is often willing to engage in).

Maiden, Mother and Crone

Thessaly's statement, "This isn’t your route. It can’t be," further highlights the discrimination Wanda faces on a daily basis. She “isn’t” seen as a woman now, and she “can’t” ever be, even if she had reassignment surgery—Wanda would still be seen as a man by the ancient powers that be.

Wanda's struggle, more than any other character's, highlights the ongoing conflict between self-identity and societal perception of women. And that’s unfortunately still a struggle most women face. But Wanda’s character is particularly poignant because she is repeatedly forced to reaffirm her sense of self, only to be torn down again and again. Even Barbie, who always supports her and would probably never knowingly hurt her, says this when Wanda reveals her childhood name:

“Alvin? That's your real name?"

Please imagine what it must feel like if even the ones closest to you refer to your dead name as your “real�� name, even if it’s without malicious intent (of course Barbie makes good on that later, but…).

Wanda can never truly find comfort in anyone. She is constantly confronted with the disparity between her self-perception and how the world views her. Ultimately, Wanda's exclusion from entering the Dreaming (and there’s more symbolism in that than you can shake a stick at—not just because she’s denied her womanhood, but also because she is denied entering a place of hope and possibility, and not least because she is denied being capable and having agency: Thessaly repeatedly acknowledges Wanda is important, and that she needs her help. But that’s on her terms, not Wanda’s) leads to her tragic death: The storm caused by drawing down the moon destroys the apartment where Wanda remains to watch over Barbie’s body.

And that’s why Wanda’s arc in the comics will always stay problematic to me (I don’t know how optimistic I can be for the TV series, because we’ve already seen her headstone in BTS shots, even if her overall arc seems to have changed): Dream grants Barbie a boon, which she uses to save the women in the Dreaming, but Wanda is not among them. There is no saving her—not in this world, not in any other.

Wanda's conservative parents bury her with her deadname Alvin Mann (and her second name adds insult to injury, because it is the German spelling of “man”, as in “male”. And again, I’m somewhat glad they have changed this for the series, as seen on said headstone, because I never got why choosing that name was necessary in the first place. Or let’s say: I get it, but I don’t think it was needed and was layered on too thick. Sometimes subtle does it, sorry).

Why is Wanda so consistently shamed, while Hazel and Foxglove's lesbian relationship is regarded not a big deal (I’m obviously not insinuating it should be, see my disclaimer at the bottom of this post)? Although I have to admit there are things about that one that always rubbed me up the wrong way, too: The dumbing down of Hazel (honestly, most of us were not that clueless about reproduction in the 80s and 90s, lesbians or otherwise), the play on butch/femme stereotypes to then clumsily try to turn them on their heads (which did not work for me), the still somewhat male gaze applied to Foxglove (she didn’t have to sleep naked with her tits on display, did she?), the implication that all women somehow end up as mothers (if they don’t end up dead), even if just “accidentally”… There’s a whole lot to be said about the topic of motherhood, and how it gets instrumentalised in several Sandman arcs, but maybe that’s for another time...

To explore that question, I want to have a closer look at Barbie, who is a (in my view, often clumsy) stand-in for the gender-identity of many (CIS) women.

A quick throwback to The Doll’s House

The first signs of Barbie's identity crisis don't appear in A Game of You, but rather in The Doll's House. She is introduced as one half of “Ken-Barbie”: They finish each other's sentences, Barbie lacks a distinct personality and is completely overshadowed by being a “traditional wife” (maybe not the type of trad wife we think about today, and yet…). The fact that she and Ken share names with plastic dolls underscores the artificial nature of their identities and their relationship.

Barbie's dream-life always felt more authentic and meaningful to her than her waking reality—that’s why she is only a shell of herself when she can’t dream (after the vortex interlude with Rose Walker). She is passive, conforms to her father's expectations of being "ladylike" and adheres to “good” CIS- and heteronormative behaviour. And then, after her divorce, she feels uprooted, shows little motivation and relies on Wanda for support. Freeing herself from her shackles could have been a story of reclaiming her power without the layer of implied loneliness (I’ll get to that). Instead, she needs to suffer for a bit…

Barbie being trapped in her dream world also traps her in a state of passivity: Dreams are not real. You can make them real, but that’s not what she does—they are a maladjusted escape for her. And yet (or maybe rather “because”), instead of directly confronting and fighting the Cuckoo, Barbie smashes the Porpentine (much to the Cuckoo's delight).

Upon waking…

Upon waking, Barbie's personality hasn't changed much from the woman we first met. When she goes to Wanda’s funeral, she struggles to defend Wanda from her transphobic aunt despite trying.

However, she engages in a small but significant act of rebellion by crossing out "Alvin" on Wanda's headstone with her favourite lipstick and writes her real name instead.

Barbie then recalls a dream she had while traveling to Wanda's funeral. In this dream, she sees Wanda not as she was in life, but as an idealised version of herself—soft, more curved, and wearing a pink dress. Death stands beside Wanda, symbolising that she is recognised for who she truly is.

And I get it: The idea was to say, “She was always a woman, even to the cosmic powers that be. Eat that, Thessaly and everyone else.” But there’s also the part of me that wants to say, “You know what? She was good the way she was. Perfect in her imperfection. We didn’t need to affirm her womanhood by showing her as a stereotypical woman.” The use of “perfect” and “drop-dead gorgeous” always really rubbed me up the wrong way in relation to the way she was portrayed in that panel. Because it portrays a stereotypical woman: That’s what you look like if you need to/want to pass. And this applies, sadly enough, to all women in one way or another, no matter what gender we were assigned at birth. But if that scene holds meaning to people, I also get it. My more critical take on it is maybe down to my own history (again: disclaimer at the bottom of this post).

Simultaneously, the destruction of the Land in the Dreaming grants Barbie a newfound independence. She is now alone, without her best friend or the friends of her dreams, but these losses have given her freedom. And for a moment, loneliness becomes the ultimate resolution to Barbie's identity conflict. And I found that idea horrible, I’ll be brutally honest with you:

On the final page of A Game of You, Barbie is shown alone, waiting for a bus to an unknown destination. She reflects on her dream of Wanda, where she had the chance to say goodbye to her past life. For a moment, she stands rigidly still, and that moment feels… really long? Separated from her past and facing an uncertain future, she is free from anyone's expectations or desires. And maybe, in that simplicity, she finds freedom.

And maybe, A Game of You challenges the idea that we have full control over our identities. Our self-perception and how others perceive us are always influenced by external factors. And somewhat, I could never quite shake the feeling the story equates the removal of the ties that bind us (in this case: relationships) and/or death with freedom: Wanda only fully realises her identity in death, and Barbie feels most liberated when she is free from past entanglements and future obligations. Whether that notion is truly rejected in the end is probably down to the reader: Barbie turns and runs towards her bus, heading into a future that, while uncertain, maybe also holds a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, none of the women of The Sandman get off particularly well in that department, and that is a common theme…

Disclaimer: I write this as a CIS bisexual woman in her 40s who has been in relationships with both women and men for 30+ years. Two of them led to marriage/civil partnership: One with a CIS woman, also bi (we were together for 10 years, 3 of them in a CP), one with my now husband (CIS straight man, married for 10 years, together longer, and we have a kid together). I don’t need to tell you this, but I am because I think it is important to disclose my own bias and experiences as a queer woman in the 90s, which include coming out, experiencing bi-erasure and misogyny from both inside and outside the LGBTQ+ community. As such, they will definitely colour the way I read and interpret A Game of You.

[shiki-aki]

Any ShikiAki doujinshi recc? I've only read the tentacle one

THE FACT THAT I INSTANTLY KNEW WHICH DJ YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID "the tentacle one" LMAOOOO I LOVE THAT ONE IT'S REALLY HOT and Shiki is just so dom in it...

ohhh but this is a really fun question, thanks for asking! I do have some personal favorite Shikiaki doujinshi, but if you have time and are really hungry for content, I also recommend checking out all the Shikiaki doujinshi here: https://myreadingmanga.info/togainu-no-chi-dj/

Anyway I do have a few that I love to reread (and I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to gush about them lol) so I'll list them here. They're not in any particular order (except for the first one which definitely takes the spot as my favorite).

Ragdoll

(I recommend you actually read this doujinshi first before reading my thoughts here because I end up spoilering it oops, SORRY HAHA. I just have so many thoughts on this doujinshi and I love talking about it!)

This is my all-time favorite Shikiaki doujinshi because it's the one that really made me take a closer look at Shikiaki and search for the nuances in Shiki's route, back when I first finished Shiki's route. I think this artist truly understood the Shikiaki dynamic and the themes in Shiki's route, and it shows in their writing. Like I can't stress how important this doujinshi is to me lol, if it wasn't for this I would have likely just dropped Shikiaki as a ship and moved on, because yes on a surface level, Shikiaki does seem very shallow; I won't deny that, but when you dig deeper, you'll find that there's so many layers to the ship? I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but hey, that's what my meta is for lmao, so that I can actually explain my thought process behind why this ship is actually quite complex.

The artist nailed it in exploring the "possession" theme in the Shikiaki dynamic and how Shiki hides his true feelings for Akira behind framing it as Akira being his possession, but Shiki is also obsessed with who Akira is as a person and values him for the traits he has. Essentially it plays with the theme of Shiki objectifying, but also humanizing Akira at the same time, and like... the contradiction is just amazing because like I said in my meta, it adds nuance and depth to characters when they act in seemingly contradictory ways.

But the doujinshi doesn't just stop there; it also touches upon Akira's characterization and the theme of him obeying his own will, which I think is important when it comes to wanting to understand ED1. It's not that Akira follows his abuser because he's in love with Shiki; he follows Shiki out of his own free will, because Shiki was the only one to truly accept him and see him for who he is, and that's why Akira will accept Shiki for who he is, even if Shiki is in a catatonic state. Also this doujinshi opened my eyes to seeing how Shiki was the one to "bring back Akira's will to live," which is definitely a point I harp on a lot in my meta lolll.

This doujinshi also made me understand Akira's character arc, with Akira appreciating the beauty of nature for what it is in ED1, and how he wants Shiki to do the same. It shows the duality between them: neither Shiki nor Akira appreciated life for what it is, or even the fact of living. Shiki was too hellbent on his goal and pursued it in a self-destructive manner, while Akira viewed life as meaningless and didn't see a reason to pursue anything in life. So at the end of their character arcs, both Akira AND Shiki need to realize the importance of living in the moment so they can finally have a fulfilling life together.

tldr: this doujinshi changed my life and it's the reason why I'm stuck in Shikiaki hell

2. Amber Sunlight Lit Up the Jade Dewdrops

(GOD THE COVER ART IS JUST GORGEOUS)

This doujinshi is drawn by the same artist who did "Ragdoll," so you already know it's gonna be good lol. I love the angst in this, but also the soft fluff. Again this artist understands the Shikiaki dynamic really well and what their brand of subtle intimacy would look like. I do think Shiki is slightly OOC here, but only because the scenario itself falls into OOC territory (Shiki catching a cold lol). Otherwise I think the artist did extremely well in still executing the idea they wanted to draw while keeping Shiki's and Akira's characterizations intact.

3. Babelist

I love this ED2 doujinshi because of how possessive Shiki is lmao, like straight up, this is what I reread whenever I want to see Shiki acting super unhinged and possessive. It's just a really good portrayal of Shiki and Akira's dynamic in ED2, with Akira being loyal to Shiki (but also trying to maintain an air of professionalism between them despite their private, intimate relationship) and Shiki giving absolutely zero fucks and just wanting to show off to everyone in the army how Akira is his lmao.

4. A3

This is the first Shikiaki doujinshi I ever read and I'm glad it was my first because it's definitely unique. It essentially weaves all 3 Akiras from the EDs together into one universe and shows what kind of dynamic Shiki has with each Akira. What I adore about this doujinshi is how it shows that, despite how different in personality each Akira is, Shiki loves all of them in the end because they're still Akira. The line at the end of the doujinshi, "You're all mine. However, the one who was captured is..." just straight up makes my heart quiver because of how Shiki-esque it is. It may look like Shiki is the one in control of the relationship because he's the dom and he "owns" Akira, but his heart was captured by Akira and he's chained by the feelings he has for Akira. Essentially just a subtle but very elegant way of showing how Akira has power over Shiki, too.

5. Inushiki

Drawn by the same artist who did "A3," this is such a heartwarming, wholesome, and fluffy doujinshi. I definitely like to reread it a lot because it's one of the few Shikiaki doujinshi that isn't downright angsty lol, it's just so domestic and cute. Also Shiki with dog ears and a tail is just... mwah. He's gorgeous <3. And of course it isn't Shiki if he's not possessive (and horny) as fuck lmao. This is the one doujinshi that I so desperately wish there was a sequel of because it's just so adorable it makes me roll around in bed T_T.

6. Lost End

This one is more on the smutty side, but the art is really good! This artist is quite well known for their TnC doujinshi (they don't only draw Shikiaki but other ships as well so yeah a bit of fun for everybody xD). My favorite part is the ending though... definitely love to see Shiki and Akira having a soft moment together (and Akira wanting to touch Shiki is just. adorable). I don't know, I just really like Shiki being soft and affectionate with Akira after he wakes up in ED1 (*¯︶¯*).

7. Evil Lova

I think you might enjoy this one in particular as it focuses on Shiki and Akira's domestic fluffy life after Shiki wakes up. It's quite short but it still shows Akira taking care of Shiki and worrying over him lol.

8. Insert

This is a direct continuation of "Evil Lova" but instead of Akira taking care of Shiki, it's Shiki being pissed that Akira is babying him, so Shiki decides to turn the tables and take care of Akira instead xD. Again it's short but it's still super fun and sweet to read about. I definitely like to headcanon that Shiki would be annoyed at Akira coddling him after he wakes up in ED1, but he understands that it's Akira's form of affection lol.

9. Black Milk

This one is a unique spin on the Dog!Akira from the Arbitro end, where Shiki manages to whisk Akira away from the Palace lmao. It leans on the smutty side but I like how the artist showed Shiki's discomfort with Akira being physically affectionate with him. Kinda emphasizes Shiki's tsundere side and how he's not used to being kissed or touched so affectionately, but he lets Akira touch him anyway <3 (and Akira remembering Shiki's name is just. aww).

10. Mill Milk

This is a direct continuation of "Black Milk." Again, leans on the smutty side, but also some humorous moments here and there lol. I really like Akira licking Shiki like a dog and Shiki allowing him to, tbh I feel like it's something we wouldn't really see in Shiki's canon route/EDs, but I totally vibe with it lol. Plus it leans into the "dog" aspect for Akira and Shiki's route is the one where the master/pet dynamic is heavily explored. (also the nipple sucking is. excellent.)

AAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG WOW I didn't mean to go on a tangent and rec so many doujinshi lmao but I hope you enjoy reading them!!! and thank you again for the ask :3 sorry I have so many Shikiaki thoughts lol

[starlight-bread-blog]

Why Lokius Should Have Been Canon

This is a sort of combo of two metas that didn't quite get point my across. Some parts will be copied directly, but there's a lot of original content. I will discuss the ship between Loki and Mobius, their place in the show, and the MCU at large. My focus for this meta won't be parallels or motifs, because these things border on well-written friendships. But there will be some of that.

Romance in the MCU

There are a lot of straight couples in the MCU. (Almost) Every main hero is in some heterosexual relationship, Loki included.

(That's not all, not remotely).

But in the LGBTQ+ department... uh.. I think it was mentioned that Valkyrie had a girlfriend... uh... America Chavez had a pride pin... and Loki:

One line. Queer experiences are never a focal point of a show/movie the same way heterosexual experiences are. And that needs to change.

Romance In the Show

Wrong, toxic, or unsuccessfu romantic love is a recurring theme in the show.

Sylki

Sylki was an icky relationship right off the bat. They are the same person. I can't find the post at the moment, but someone has pointed out in their post that them being the same person is referenced in every episode in season 1 (edit: here it is), which is when the romance took place. This made their romance uncomfortable for many viewers.

(Some consider Sylki a toxic relationship, but for this post, the topic is too large to handle with the nuance I'd like to handle it with).

When he's drunk, Loki compares love to a dagger, stating that it hurts you, but when you try to find strength in it, it's not real.

Which is exactly what happens. Sylvie pushes Loki into a portal and they never get back together.

The Love Triangle

In 02×03, Ravonna Renslayer is infatuated with Victor Timely, but he leaves her behind and betrays her when Miss Minutes told him to. One episode later, we discover that they were indeed an item, and established the TVA together. He Who Remains deleted her memories and they never rekindle their love.

Later in the episode, is the best example of "wrong" romance in the show. Miss Minutes, the AI clock, confesses her love to Viktor Timely. He, obviously, freaks out and shuts her off. Nothing ever comes of this.

Brad and Dox

This one is small, but a big indication to romance being a theme. In 02×01, we're shown this:

The gap in the age of the actors is uncomfortable, and a character in universe has this reaction to it. It is never mentioned again.

So what does all of this leave us with? Not much. None of this properly ties to the finale, or anything really. If I were to write the show I would cut a lot of this out, since it serves no purpose. But it does make you keep romance and its shortcomings in mind. The writers want it to be there, in the back of your head.

Loki and Mobius

Finally! I got to talk about them. The two people in question. First things first, who are they, together? They became really supportive, close friends.

Fans even drew parallels to Chaos & Order, which is a very important theme in Loki. But I'm not here to unpack them. These things don't necessarily make them in love. So what does make them in love? I'll present you my evidence, and you ask yourself,

Would it be valid to suggest romantic implications if a man and a women are:

1) Extremely thouchy with each other.

2) Riding on a tandem bike together.

3) Willing to suffer a fate worst than death for another.

4) Falling on each other after that^

5) Literally the Interrupted Declaration of Love trope. (Ex)

6) Being framed in a circle.

7) Waiting & giving permission to attack.

8) Fixing themselvs before seeing the other.

Of course yes. Maybe you think some of these are a strech, but ultimately, people would point out romantic connotations across the board. And I'm here, pointing them out right now. Some scenes between Loki and Mobius have romantic implications.

Conclusion

Loki is a queer protagonist in the MCU, a universe that lacks representation of queer experiences. His show constantlty reminded us of romance, sometimes for seemigly no reason. In the second season, they wrote him and his best friend with romantic implications. And then, nothing. It should not have been nothing. Lokius should have been canon.

[incarnadinedreams]

Hot Take Time #2309209 (edit: actually this isn't a hot take it's lukewarm at best. it's a room temperature take) but I really don't understand the argument "mo dao and gui dao are different and therefore everything WWX does is completely fine!"

Like, yes, it's a difference that plays into the public discourse vs. real truth themes of the novel to a degree, and I of course absolutely appreciate all the explanations and meta around the nuances and differences. But like. What he actually does with it is... still not good whether it's mo dao or gui dao? And there are many very significant reasons that gui dao is still not great? (Which I won't get into here because there are other people far more qualified with cultural/genre knowledge who have written about it way better than I ever could anyway)

Like y'know. The several hundred people he tortured to death, the thousands of desecrated graves, the mini-harem of pet zombie girls he kept after the war for purely entertainment purposes...? Like, those behaviors aren't inherent to the method (well, except the method sort of uniquely facilitating the keeping of pet ghosts), but they're not... good...? (Note: 'morally good' is completely different than 'fun & sexy, having a great time torture-bonding with shidi, etc'.)

I just cannot agree that keeping a little harem of pet ghost girls nor anything that happened with the Wens is being "gentle with the dead, empathetic and respectful". Even WWX thinks his past self was kinda cringe with it and went way too far!

I do think there's meant to be a significant amount of ambiguity about what elements of his downward spiral are caused by the corrosive nature of his method vs. the trauma of the Burial Mounds and his own, internal, homebrewed mental crisis. The alcoholism, rapidly shifting moods, anger and inability to control his temper, before and after the war. How much of it is Wei Wuxian and how much of it is the impact of the resentful energy he's using, and the use/proximity of the Yin Hu Fu?

I do think there's a reason why there's just as much brutality carried out by characters using orthodox cultivation methods. But in the end, his behavior was a problem, and the novel hints that the methods were impacting his mental state, and it was overlooked because of his usefulness to the war effort, but it did significantly damage his credibility leading up to the parts where he is in the right, which is also part of the point of the story. And you know. The subject of Jiang Cheng's whole 'the flower that blooms alone' monologue in the cave.

Anyway. 'He's using gui dao not mo dao and there's a difference' is super not the same thing as 'Wei Wuxian is morally justified in every action'?

Anyway this book is a lot more fun to me when you approach it from 'look what absolutely insane things these boys will do when they go absolutely feral for each other, it's so cool' with a side of 'look how fucked up he is now, that's hot' and not, like, trying to somehow figure out how to make pet ghost girls into a moral ideal.

So much of the story, for me, is about what desperate, wild lengths a person will go to for survival and revenge when pushed, and then what do you do after? When the danger is past and the revenge is done, what then? How do you come back from that?

[toastofthetrashfire]

My Top Shows 2023

Doing this at the last minute but here goes--the top 10 shows I watched in 2023!

*Note: I rate my shows on a letter scale cause I don't like narrowing it down to a specific number. (S-standout As-Strong Bs-Fine Cs-There's some problems Ds-ooof)

1. Oh No! Here Comes Trouble

This one instantly became an all time favorite. It covers themes about grief and loss in a deeply empathetic and humanizing way along side the supernatural elements. I don't know if it's because I've experienced loss myself or because it's a universal experience, but I love shows like this that help you understand what it means to grieve and heal in a familiar yet new light. It reminded me a lot of Natsume Yuujinchou (another favorite) in that respect.

Aside from the larger themes, you have a distinct directing style, quirky sense of humor, well-rounded cast of characters, and excellent acting (the lead actor was also in Your Name Engraved Herein and he's just as standout here). In addition to all that, the show gives us a main trio of characters whose strengths are deliberately not their wits. This is used for humor but also to make more meaningful points about connection, empathy, and different ways of thinking (yes, I headcanon the main trio as neurodivergent).

Rating: S+

2. The Eighth Sense

This show! Another piece that is deeply rooted in exploring trauma and loss. This time within the framework of a romance. I'm usually pretty hesitant with stories that bring disability into romance, especially mental illness. There's a tendency to lean into the idea that love cures all and other not so great tropes. The Eighth Sense does a great job balancing that line, giving us romantic beats without wading into them uncritically. In the end, healing and love are things we choose not something guaranteed, but there's still an immense hope in that. I'm an giant sucker for shows that tackle both queer and crip experiences with nuance and grace, and the Eighth Sense hit that mark for me (so much so it even had me writing a little meta). On top of that it has beautiful cinematography and visual choices.

Rating: S

3. Moonlight Chicken

A beautiful show all around! P'Aof constantly knocks it out of the park with every show he directs, but I felt particularly strong about Moonlight Chicken. I adore the way it centers on themes of home and community. It even inspired some meta and a bit of personal reflection for me on what it means to choose home as someone who is queer and disabled. The show gives us the messiness that comes with navigating new and old relationships and somehow also the simplicity of it all. And of course, the show includes a Deaf character and handles his story with nuance and clear care.

Rating: S

4. Shadow

Singto, Fluke, and Fiat in a queer horror show--sign me up! It wasn't as scary as I expected, more psychological (which is good because I am so picky about what types of horror are too much for me vs what I enjoy). I loved the way the show played with time and reality and drew upon various religious practices to create a unique atmosphere. I also adored the attention to small details that make the piece ripe for analysis. I will probably be eyeing clocks and tech in many shows to come. It's also a show that is bringing up themes about queerness, mental illness, domestic violence, and historical trauma. I'm continually drawn to pieces that are queer and crip, so I suppose it's no surprise that this one drew me in too.

I know this show was divisive, about as many people thought it stuck the landing as didn't. I happen to land in the former category. I adore media that makes me stop and think, and given the amount of meta the show had/has me writing, I'd say it well and truly tickled my brain. The show didn't always go where I most wanted or expected but I think that challenged me even more to really think about what the show might be trying to do (my thoughts on that here, spoilers though).

Rating: S

5. Our Dining Table

Japan does a lot of things well, but I'm particularly fond of their slice-of-life. Our Dining Table fits right in there with food and found family at the center. It's warm and cute, but has a depth beyond it's soft exterior, delving into loss, loneliness, and what it means to be fully seen by those around us. All of this tied up in a queer bow. It was easily the show I was most excited to watch each week when it was airing.

Rating: S

6. Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Another one I fell in love with this year! While it has plenty of tropes, cutting through the core of all of this is the growing friendship between the main trio, especially between Li Lian Hua and Fang Duo Bing. Their relationship and personal growth as characters was really beautiful to watch, on top of it just being a fun show with a great balance of humor and drama. Plus Fang Duo Bing's mom 😍

Rating: S

7. One Room Angel

Another solid entry out of Japan. As much as I love Japan's bright slice-of-life offerings like Our Dining Table, they also excel at stories that don't shy away from heavy or complex emotional themes. And I'm noticing as I tackle this post that I really resonate with heavy themes. One Room Angel has it's lighter moments and own quirky humor. But it also tackles depression and suicide as it explores the journey of finding enough connection and meaning in life to keep moving forward.

Rating: S

8. I Feel You Linger in the Air

I Feel You Linger in the Air was such a beautiful show! I'm so happy we got a historical thai bl this year and that it was so so lovely. I really liked last year's To Sir With Love but it does have it's Lakorn/soap style that is a bit more of an obstacle for me. IFYLITA certainly has it's drama, but it feels more tightly drawn. Throw in a little time travel and beautiful love scenes and it was a delight to watch.

Rating: S

9. My Beautiful Man S2, Eternal

When I watched the first season of My Beautiful Man I liked it but wasn't exactly sold. I read a bit of meta from the community which changed my tune a bit. But it wasn't until watching season 2 and Eternal that something really clicked. I immediately went back and watched season 1 after finishing the film and oh boy did I fall in love. Not only do S2 and Eternal give us great character growth and forward motion to Hira and Kiyoi's relationship, and they feel like a natural expansion of the first season in the best way possible. What can I say, I love the whole series!

Rating: A+

10. Kiseki: Dear to Me

Kiseki: Dear to Me feels like an outlier to me. It's hard for me to put my finger on just what made it click for me, but I was so into it when it was airing. I recognize that plot wise this show is a bit of a mess, but at the same time it hit something just right in my brain. Perhaps it was the emotional intimacy the actors portrayed? They did a fantastic job drawing me in. Apart from that I couldn't take my eyes off of Ai Di's impeccable fashion choices, and the many many cameos were quite fun.

Rating: A+ YMMV

A few close contenders:

My School President (S) *split airing 22' and 23'

Tokyo in April Is... (A+)

Laws of Attraction (A)

Bed Friend (A)

The End of the World with You (A)

Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend (A)

If it's with You (A)

Our Dating Sim (A)

Love Tractor (A)

The Warp Effect (A) *split airing 22' and 23'

The New Employee (A) *split airing 22' and 23'

La Pluie (A-)

Midnight Museum (A-)

[mswyrr]

lucy gray baird's philosophy

I want to "yes, and" this great meta post by @burst-of-iridescent​. Specifically this part:

by the end of the book, coriolanus gives in fully to dr gaul’s way of thinking simply because it excuses him from accepting blame for his actions. if he killed sejanus, it’s because he had no choice. if he betrayed lucy gray, it’s because she would’ve betrayed him first. coriolanus refuses to believe in the goodness of humanity because that would have meant accepting the goodness that existed within him, and with that came the potential for making a different, better choice - potential that he knew, deep down, he had wasted. attributing his crimes to an innate evil that no one can overcome means that he can’t be held accountable, because it’s out of his control.

This got me thinking about how much Lucy Gray's worldview rejects of this way of thinking (and of a Calvinist*/ableist "some people are just born evil" pov people try to impose on the text, which people think is condemning him but actually... accidentally agrees with him that he was born evil and therefore can't help it??????). The book begins with several quotes chosen by the author, but I believe the one that represents Lucy Gray's worldview is Rousseau, who believed people were born with fundamental goodness.

Here's a source on him:

(Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)

And here's the quote Collins opens with:

“Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains.” — Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract, 1762

That's Lucy Gray's pov she's come to through living and reflecting as an artist; someone can disagree with it (of course, all of these questions are open for endless debate; they have been debated endlessly!) however, it's important to respect that is where she's coming from, not being foolish or naive. It is a worthy pov that should be respected, even if you disagree. And that she came to this pov through a hard life and from much thinking and she expresses it beautifully in her art.

Here's the key exchange from the book, after Coriolanus has taken on the idea that people are just awful and her articulating her philosophy in response:

(Ballad, 495)

She's not naive. She recognizes the nuance that Rousseau does, that society shapes us. And Panem is pretty clearly a society led by people applying all the pressures they can think of on people toward evil. (And, after his heel turn, Coriolanus' is going to innovate some new pressures...) Clearly there are situations and circumstances that form us before we have much say in it, but that's not the same as being born evil.

The difference between inherent goodness and a corrupt society is, for Lucy Gray, a lot of hard work. It's a struggle. This repudiates both the version of "born evil" Coriolanus himself takes on, which relieves him of responsibility, and the self-righteous, Calvinist and/or ableist pov people keep arguing for, which makes "normal" people feel like they can be sure they're good (and ignore how we are all complicit in evil to some degree or another) because they have a "good" normal brain or they were just born so pure as a soul predestined for heaven. No, for her, everyone has to do the work. To her it's everyone's "life's challenge to try and stay on the right side of that line."

Even more pointedly, the love song she wrote him before his betrayal, "Pure as the Driven Snow," articulates her philosophy in the opening lines:

(Ballad, 481)

Again, we have her personal focus on the work of "staying on the right side" of good and evil after being born good into evil circumstances. She knows it hurts; she's led a hard life herself. "It's rough as a bair" to do that work, it's "like walkin' through fire." But it is doable.

Lucy Gray meant it as a love song but IMO "Pure as the Driven Snow" ends up a lament for the boy Coriolanus was and her love that he betrayed when he betrayed himself. And it is a direct rejection of his excuses, it is inadvertently reading him for filth for the lies he tells himself that all the world is the Games arena, all people are selfish and bad, and he isn't to blame for what he's done because he just wants to come out on top/be the victor of this "natural" "war of all against all" that is Gaul's philosophy (related to the Hobbes quote Collins begins with; I wrote a meta on that here) that he adopts.

I see her demeaned as a foolish girl who just "like bad boys" and I get so frustrated. I also get frustrated by the view that she must not have ever been sincere in loving or trusting him because IF SHE WAS then she would be a fool and his betrayal would somehow be her fault. And she'd reject the idea that she's "good" just because she's so pure or that anyone can claim we're good without doing a lot of hard work.

(Ballad, 482)

She is so thoughtful and interesting as a character. And she didn't just "like bad boys" - Coriolanus showed only his good side to her until the very end, once he'd decided to kill that part of himself. She had no way of knowing. Sometimes you trust someone and they betray you, it doesn't make you wrong, the shame is all theirs.

*Strict Calvinist predestination is some people are just predetermined to be bound for heaven and some for hell, some people are just born good and others are born bad. A lot of people in fandom seem to love Calvinism idk why. The ableism bit of this should be self-evident: there is no such thing as a "bad" brain type completely incapable of morality or a "good" brain and neurodivergence is not the source of all evil!

[mamuzzy]

— BLACK & WHITE MENTALITY —

Me, as someone with a Borderline Personality Disorder (and probably other I'm still figuring out), am I truly convinced that I’m a very logical person. The logic doesn’t have to make sense to other people, it is enough for me that I know, that there is a logic and deep thought behind everything I say or think. The problem starts when people opposing my logic, and no matter how I try to make my point visible, I will look like this in the end:

It is also a problem in general with Cluster B type personality disorders, because by our logic, we can explain EVERYTHING, why don’t we have to take responsibility for certain things we do or have done. Or worse, we want to take responsibility AND explain, and people will accuse us of wanting to find excuses and we will never meet with understanding.

Ordo can pretty much explain why he usually choose violence to solve imminent problems and not exactly taking responsibility for hurting people. Like punching Maze in the face TWICE it's not overreacting from his part, it's the stupid Alpha's fault that he is stubborn, obviously and nothing else works. /sarcasm

(more under the cut)

Finding patterns is an ability that is actually very great when I write metas or stories. I see patterns everywhere. In real life? Not so great. Because while people are showing mostly predictable behaviour patterns and we learn to understand the logical steps between how something comes from where (yes, even emotions can be explained logically), we can’t always keep one thing in mind: VARIABLES.

Like… what do you mean that my usual very kind and patient friend said something hurtful and they didn’t have patience for me like usual??? What do you mean that they have shitty day so they entire behaviour pattern changes according to their mood??? What do you mean that they won’t show the same shitty-day patterns on the next shitty day??? How am I supposed to prepare for my friend’s shitty days???? Kind is kind, shitty is shitty, friend cannot be both! Right? RIGHT…? … … Right…?

Imagine that person with personality disorder is like working with CONDITIONALS in the programming language. IF you do [something] then it’s either [this] OR [that]. There is no third options and you have choose.

THIS or THAT. ALWAYS or NEVER. ALL or NOTHING.

Always the extremes. Black and white mentality is a cognitive distortion, it means that we are having trouble seeing the world as it is: constantly changing, constantly evolving, devolving, always in the move. It has to be static, IT HAS TO BE SAFE AND PREDICTABLE.

Finding the middle ground is especially hard for us, and when I met a certain quote in the books, I kind of felt understood here.

There are lot of instances where the narrative says, you are either friends of the Nulls they would die for or an enemy they didn’t kill yet. It sounds dramatic but it actually FEELS this dramatic too.

Let’s break this in the language of PD.

You are…

A friend I would die for

An enemy I didn’t have to kill yet

If you feel like that there should be more nuanced options between the two, then you feel it right. Because in real life, your relationship with people are also nuanced. You have acquaintances. You have close friends. You have not so close-friends. You have co-workers you share a lunch but not personal informations. You have neighbors occasionally borrow sugar from, and you have neighbors you only say hello at the stairs, and you have neighbors you gossip with. You have close family members and family members we only love from distance and then you have family members you avoid like a plague. You have co-workers you hate. You hate that cashier because of their vibes, but you like the other one, but overall, you don’t speak a word to each other.

Now the real world equivalent of the Null’s mindset would be

A person I would die for

People I literally don’t give a single shit about

And then Ruusan comes into the picture. Ordo and the Nulls suddenly can’t place her everywhere between the two option. They don’t like this person, but this person actually never hurt them personally. They have to force themselves to break the computer code based of rigid conditionals to create new options to label her. Nulls, and especially Ordo can’t stand her, because he is jealous, he feels threatened by her presence, and Ordo is terribly afraid that she makes him less valuable in Kal’s eyes because she is Kal’s biological daughter. Also because with this black & white mentality usually comes pragmatism too, he is not convinced that Ruu is not here for golddigging. Her presence simply makes them angry and irritated and they can’t deal with these feelings.

Brain: BASH HER SKULL WITH A ROCK!!! Ordo: No. Brain: BUT SHE THREATENS YOUR LIFE! Ordo: I’m not in danger. I’m just angry. I have to remind myself that is not the same. I want to bash her skull with a rock, but I know that I may be overreacting. Brain: IT WILL MAKE YOU SAFE! Ordo: You are not helping here, brain, shut up.

Ruusan is not an enemy, therefore Ordo can’t dispose of her (and now that would actually be a threat to his relationship with Kal). But Ruusan is not a friend either because he doesn’t like her at all. Ordo doesn’t like Ruusan but he has to tolerate her presence. Ordo has to learn how to live with people under one roof he doesn’t like.

“KAL SKIRATA IS TRAUMATIZING HIS BABYBABU CHILDREN BY SURROUNDING THEM WITH PEOPLE THAT CAUSED HARM INCLUDING RUUSAN AND OTHER MANDO TRAINERS AND-“

In real life, you have to share workspace with co-workers you don’t like. If you are living in an apartment complex, you have to tolerate your annoying neighbours without bashing their skull with a rock. Sometimes even with family members if you don’t have the means to move out from home. Technically, you can kill people you don’t like, you have two hands to do it. But morally and socially is not acceptable to solve conflicts like this. When you are part of a 10+ people team, it is inevitable that there are people you won’t get along. Most people can just shake of this with ease and don’t take it personal that someone doesn’t like them.

But a person with personality disorders feels intense feelings. There is no such thing as feeling slightly irritated by the presence of the not-liked co-worker. That person will cause us so much stress and hateful thoughts and extreme emotions, that after pro-longed exposure for these, we’ll get exhausted, overstressed, and we eventually leave the job, because we can’t handle it anymore, and with this, we risk our financial safety too with it, our health and social relationships too.

I will write about this Black & White mentality more later in the topic of Favorite Person. ^^

Black and White mentality can be the easiest way to solve our problems, dilemmas, finding the easiest answers to questions, but always keep that in mind and remember:

[fumifooms]

You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.

[king-paimon]

I've read up on your blog through a lot of Houseki no Kuni's manga. I liked your analysis though I gotta say come the last chapters, specifically since chapter 95, I didn't always agree with them.

I didn't need the end to be happy sunshine and rainbows, or the opposite, for Phos to go all revenge monster on the gems either. But at the end there, I felt like we all just accepted everything Ichikawa threw at us with no criticism, all that torture flattening the narrative's nuance, and if I didn't like it, I was seeing it through the wrong angle.

I know you don't act like that, which I appreciate. Throught all your reviews, you expressed understanding on why so many people disliked the story. Thank you for that, thank you for not being judgemental. And I'm glad you enjoyed the ride.

I just couldn't help but feel like so many story threads were left lose, and so many complete 180°s were thrown that didn't match the story or it's characters. Some people described it as a self-sabotaged narrative, and I see it. It wasn't enough to give me catharsis - especially with the character set up as the villain getting everything he wanted.

I guess I just had higher standards, which the story didn't meet. That is not a bad thing, after all.

I think my biggest gripe is with how Cairngorm's character was handled, and I'd like to include this here. The ambiguity of their predatory relationship was in poor taste, and remained unaddressed. I can see why so many of my friends left the series when that plot point happened. They deserved better.

Hi @intoxtinction! Thank you for sending me this message and sorry that it took me so long to finally respond. Real life has been kicking my butt and free time to do anything on here is a rarity. But I still wanted to write a response to you because I really loved your response! And yes, I saw the comment you left on my last HnK meta post. You're good; don't worry about it!

Thank you again for your kind words. I'm glad that you like my posts, even if they sometimes become long, nonsensical rambles and especially if you don't agree with some of my points! I love that. Whenever I wrote my posts, I always try to keep an open mind and take into account that all fans are different and would have different views when it comes to works works like HnK. As far as I can see, HnK is one of those works that is supposed to draw up conversations because it's not a simple, straight forward story with clear distinction between black/white moral characters. Everyone who reads it is going to view the events in the story differently based on their own beliefs and even if everyone's views conflict with one another, I think it's fascinating and even wonderful. So even if I may not agree with some fans when it comes to certain aspects of HnK, I never hold it against them. I don't want to demonize anyone for how they interpret the story, at least not too harshly anyways. I know when I'm biased, but I don't let that stop me from at least trying to understand where other fans are coming from. HnK was such a fascinatingly complex and unconventional story, and the fact that it can spur many views and feelings from people is one of the reasons whyI liked the series.

With that being said, however, I also think it's important to be open to properly critique our favorite works. HnK is not immune from these critiques, because for as much as I enjoyed following the story over the past couple of years, there are many aspects in the overall story that were far from satisfying. So many loose ends, incomplete character arches, and questionable story decisions... After being away from the story for some time now, it's become more apparent that there were many aspects to the HnK that has me question Haruko Ichikawa's story telling abilities. Don't get me wrong, she's shown to be a very fascinating storyteller and I overall liked what she created. But when it comes to the incomplete story threads for all of the other characters besides Phos, I can't tell if some of Ms. Ichikawa's decisions were intentionally left up for interpretation or if their stories were just not important to complete since at the end of the day, HnK is about Phos's story. One of these decisions I question the most about is Cairngorm's story arch, so I couldn't agree more with you, @intoxtinction. Cairngorm was done dirty in so many ways and they deserved a more satisfying ending to their story.

I was planning on writing two last posts that would be focusing on these topics. But because life has been kicking my butt too much lately, I don't know when they will be out, if at all at this point. But if I'm able to complete them, I hope you'll get the chance to read them and share your own thought. And again, it's totally fine if you don't agree with my points; I'd still love to read them!

[tonyglowheart]

in the great tradition of making up an argument in my head and writing about and publishing it a la the great philosophers of old except also this does come from posts I've seen around too lmao, I am back here today with a very correct opinion on Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao.

So. a couple of types of opinions I've seen in old meta posts give this impression that people are treating the "Yan Wushi believes humans are inherently evil"/"Shen Qiao believes humans are inherently good" as, like... fixed worldview/viewpoints that these respective characters have.

I simply do not think this is so. And I think it not only does a huge disservice to the characters and MengXiShi's writing, but imo it also affects the way you interpret the characters if you think that they respectively hold such fixed rules about the world as their viewpoint.

Like just on a general level, to ascribe so black-and-white, simplified, fixed worldview to these characters doesn't sit right with me because these kinds of rigid worldviews are very immature type of worldviews. To reference to Kohlberg's stages of moral development, to have such fixed "good"/"bad" views is a very conventional-stage way of thinking, and textual interpretations aside I think it'd be very foolish to have such a rigid, unnuanced worldview.

But beyond that, I just don't think the interpretation that either of them holds such rigid unnuanced worldview uncritically bears out in the text.

The biggest/easiest chunk of text to reference here is Chap 46, where SQ flashes back on something his Master Qi Fengge taught him:

“Because ‘tip of sword pointing upward’ is just a vague description. There’s no established rule defining whether one should point it up by an inch or two. Ah-qiao, rigidly adhering to the rules will only limit your own thoughts and visions, and this is true for learning martial arts as well as for conducting yourself.”

“There are many people in this world —— some of them are good, and some of them are bad. But there are even more who can’t be simply classified as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. They may not think in the same way you think, or walk the same path you walk. Just like the case with Yu Ai and Yuan Ying —— even the same set of sword arts looks slightly different in different people’s hands. Don’t deny others just because they are different from you. Like how the ocean is capable of holding water from thousands of rivers, a person should be forgiving and tolerant to diversity, and it is the same for practicing martial arts. People who are narrow-minded can only achieve so much. Even if they do reach the summit, they cannot stay there for long.”

(QQ ch46, snowycodex tl, emphasis added)

I like this chapter since I think this helps sum up a lot of transferable concepts that imo we see bear out in SQ's conduct and worldview.

So I think, rather than saying "he believes that humans are inherently good," a more accurate way to describe it is "he believes in the inherent goodness (the possibility of inherent goodness) in all people." Which isn't to say that there aren't "bad" people in the world - he killed Huo Xijing for example, and doesn't express any regret about it. But that he believes in the ability of people to do good/be good, even if that doesn't bear out all of the time. It's a very optimistic sort of view on the potential of humanity.

Yan Wushi on the other hand, yes he has declared "you're too naive SQ, humans are evil by nature," etc but this happens by way of him making certain points to SQ, not as part of a philosophical discourse where we might see the full nuances of each's philosophy argued out, so I think to see it as a fixed "rule" he has for the world is shortsighted (and also ascribes a shortsightedness to him that I just don't think he has. He sees SQ as a curiosity sure but not like an aberration against a fixed worldview. He's amused when SQ chooses kindness, not perplexed).

So I think a more useful interpretation of YWS's worldview is more along the lines of, like, averages. In that instead of seeing YWS as "he believes all people are Evil by nature," it's more like, statistically speaking he believes that humans can/will be led astray by a variety of factors, and that even the most "good" person can have "evil" actions teased out of them if they are pushed enough - the exact experiment he is running with SQ. To me, this idea that like, in his experience humans are more statistically likely to act out of selfish/self-preserving/"evil" intentions than altruistic ones in the longterm, works a lot better for interpreting his character and making him a good foil for SQ. He's the pessimism on "human nature" to SQ's optimism - the "even if you have a close relationship, if you get in the way of self-preservation then people can be pushed to the point of valuing the self over you."

But yeah, the tl;dr of it all is, I don't think Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao are the "humans are inherently evil/good" characters, it's more, Shen Qiao is the "humans are capable of doing good/being kind and I choose to believe in that," and Yan Wushi is the "if you push someone enough they will abandon altruism, everyone has a bottom line including you" (though I think he underestimates how much hope SQ can find in the little kindnesses in the world lol, cuz like in Chap46 we see him close to some sort of abyss of despair but is QUICKLY brought back up by encountering Shiwu. But I think per the rule of statistical averages, SQ is very much a Kindness Georg so that's why I don't think he rocks YWS's worldview - he still has a place in the bell curve he's just way far out on the narrow end lmao).

But anyway, this complexity is what makes them (1) interesting characters, and (2) good foils for each other. Thanks for coming to my TED talk lmao

[writing-for-life]

I was spam-liked by a certain someone last night and freaked out a bit (he reblogged some of my art-posts before and totally destroyed my notes with it, but metas feel so much more personal because they’re my thoughts that I sometimes truly agonise over, and it often feels a bit vulnerable).

I tried to tell myself it was just the infamous “Gaiman-slip-of-the-finger”, but since it happened thrice, I just had to go to bed because my heart couldn’t take it anymore 🤣

This morning, I woke up to over 400 new notes on those metas, and even while I’m writing this, they come in thick and fast. That hardly ever happens to me because metas mostly based on the comics usually only get engagement over time and never that extreme in the space of a few hours (my blog, while not tiny, is fairly small in the grand scheme of things and doesn’t get the engagement that shipper blogs get, for obvious reasons). I’ve got a lot of new followers since last night (I’m so glad you’re here, I’ll say hello to you separately). I even got a notification that one of my metas has been queued for a Blaze by someone??? Thank you whoever you are, and that you’re willing to spend money on my ramblings (people do that? I’m amazed). Are people checking NG’s likes? Is there some secret NG algorithm? Who knows…

All of that’s to say: I’m a bit overwhelmed because it makes me a tad self-conscious. And considering the often unhinged other posts you get from me, I just feel like: 😬😳

But there’s also the part of me that feels fairly strongly about those metas, since all three of them talk about hope and graceful endings in Sandman-canon in a roundabout way. And that is so important to me, you can’t even imagine how important, because the subtlety, subtext, nuance and yes, hope in this beautiful work so often get lost and dismissed.

So while these likes definitely don’t mean he shares my views, they still make me so happy. And a bit overwhelmed: If you’re waiting for answers to comments and reblogs, give me some time because my notes are a mess and I need to find the red thread again…

[agentravensong]

hello, fellow hatchetfield fans! here are my stray nerdy prudes must die thoughts, which i'm going to try to keep brief (she said, before spending an hour writing this)

the production level of the show as a whole really blew me away. the lighting; demon!max's costume and makeup; even the way it was shot and edited felt even more electric than past shows

this is the only one of the full-length hatchetfield musicals to have one consistent antagonist throughout (black friday has linda but half the leads don't know about her at all until the climax, plus there's wilbur and wiggly). and i gotta say, max's actor really killed it. hilarious, terrifying, and even with moments of nuance. he repeatedly stole the show.

some of the songs are already stuck in my head. off the top of my head i can't think of any that stood out in a bad/unmemorable way (though i could just be forgetting them, lol). ruth's song in particular i think is gonna really stick with me once i listen to it a few more times.

and i love the way the "i'm not a loser" motif gets used throughout the show. the closest any of the songs got me to having the visceral reaction i have to "did you know that i wanted to live with you" in "not your seed" and the bridge + ending of "let it out" ("i've never been happy...") was when richie sings that line right before... well.

speaking of richie: as a paul stan, what this show proved to me more than anything is that when jon matteson plays a sympathetic lead (or side character - hi daniel/stopwatch), he will always break my heart. he's just. really good.

thinking about how in the last of the originally planned 3 hatchetfield shows, initially conceptualized as the first, jon's character is the first one to sing, whereas in the first of those shows, conceptualized as the last, the whole crux of the musical is him refusing to sing, the audience essentially waiting for the moment he breaks and does it. thinking about how the opening of npmd tells us richie is going to die, already dying, already dead, while the opening number of tgwdlm tells us paul is the target, the Doomed Hero, the "star of the show" "destined to go viral" [read: get infected], whose story is going to be told, already written.

thinking about how singing dooms paul, and how richie singing "i'm not a loser", reigniting max's ire, is the final nail in his coffin.

...i'm normal.

there's a lot of meta jokes and nods of that sort throughout the show. maybe a few too many? like, at a certain point, as a fan, i do feel like i'm being pandered to a bit.

i liked the lords in black's scene, it was a lot of fun! it's always great to see jon get to let loose with crazy characters, and the others were great too. but i do wonder how it plays for people who haven't been following nightmare time stuff. like, i get that in one world this was our introduction to these characters, but even in that world, i wonder if including all five of them with their specific names and allusions to their individual deals is a bit too much for what the plot of this show needs. there's something to be said for not showing all your cards right away.

on the other hand, i feel like the paulkins coffee scene actually fully earned its inclusion: because when pete comes in asking for his hot chocolate, it reads differently when we're coming at it from having followed his perspective up to this point versus having been following paul in tgwdlm, in a way that strengthens both scenes. it's a nice reminder that emma and paul can be... rude, i guess. assholes, even (she really didn't need to spit in it). that idea of perspectives affecting how we categorize people arguably even plays into the themes of this show! how about that.

ah, yes, Themes. there are Themes to be drawn out of this show about the experience of high school, especially in an intertextual comparison to how tom and becky talk about their time in high school in black friday. something about how the two of them see it as this idealistic time they want to go back to, whereas the teens (the nerds/outcasts) in npmd sing that they'll "still despise it when [they're] gone". something about how in ruth's solo number, the fantasy future she imagines for herself (even in the context of it being a performance for an audience of no one) is of a standard, arguably dreary, middle-aged existence. there's definitely stuff there to be dissected.

and also there's arguably a theme of continuing cycles of cruelty, brought into focus by the ending, but also implied with the way the adults failed the kids (see max referencing his dad belittling him).

...but also, i feel like they could have done more with that.

that's my one big thing with this show, and it could very easily just be that the genre of this show isn't as much my jam, but i'll say it anyway: i wanted more from the characters, and more emotional weight in regards to certain things.

like, between this and tgwdlm, i think tgwdlm is still the better written show. there's just, a subtly to the characters there, a grounded human-ness, that i didn't quite get from all of the teens here.

as much as i clearly have a soft spot for richie, that's mostly on jon; as written, there really isn't much there, beyond "anime nerd" and "generally nice kid who wants to be liked". the scene right before he dies is comedic in how obvious it's setting things up, but its obvious-ness also makes it feel kind of cheap in terms of pulling on the heartstrings. similarly, ruth is initially just a gimmick (though hers at least ties into a deeper insecurity) and only gets her real moment of depth right before she dies. neither of them feel like they have much affect / haunting presence on the surviving teens once they're dead, past the initial shock of the reveals of their deaths.

and steph and pete are good, but... idk. i wanted a bit more from each of them. if they got to have a talk like paul and emma before "join us and die" - not even for the sake of the romance, but just for the sake of giving us more on each of them outside of their basic stereotypes and the romance - that would've helped, i think.

grace was great, though, no qualms. initially there was a part of me that was disappointed that the stereotype max was pushing on her about her being secretly repressed and horny was in fact true, but the way it gets used makes up for it, and in between max's death and when that specific thing comes up again in the climax, she gets to do a lot with the two conflicting sides of her personality, wanting to be good but having a capacity and arguable instinct for scheming and ruthlessness.

(also, as i mentioned earlier, max has a surprising amount going on, especially once you get into the Implications)

it could just be that i see those depths in the tgwdlm cast because i've had more time to chew on that cast, and that in time i'll see these teens in the same light. but i don't think it's just that.

i think part of it is how there are so many jokes about the teens being nerdy prudes (really, mostly just nerds). and like, that's part of the point, obviously, that they were being forced into those boxes and that they were still people with the potential to be more. but... i don't know if the show does enough to really make that point. again, richie doesn't really get to be more (and it's not for lack of time - there's a good amount of show before max comes back as the demon and kills for the first time).

in tgwdlm, the mains are all arguably based on stock characters, but they have more depth through their relationships. look at ted, the stock asshole sleazeball, who's shown to feel genuine remorse when he loses people he loves, in a way that contextualizes his bitterness. and there's a lot less highlighting of the stockness of them in their show than there is of the teens in npmd.

and the thing is, i think the cast of npmd at their foundations are more likable than the cast of tgwdlm (see the earlier point about emma and paul being assholes at times). they had a lot of potential. but i don't think enough of it is realized for the majority of them. the edges the tgwdlm cast has are part of what makes them compelling, and it's something the teens (minus grace) are largely missing.

the thing is, i know the fandom is going to see that potential and run with it. i know that they're gonna develop the teens' characterizations and relationships. i know they'll get into the trauma and the implications from everything that happened to them in the show. i know they'll get into... pete's survivor's guilt, and steph losing her dad(!!!), and what richie and ruth could have been, and all that. i know that they'll fill in the gaps. because that's what fans do. i guess i just wish there weren't so many gaps to fill. or, that the gaps wouldn't take so much effort from them to fill.

again, i acknowledge, maybe i'm expecting too much from the genre of show this is. it doesn't need to have A Point, i guess, it can just be fun, a comedic horror slasher in musical form. and it is fun, a lot of fun! ...but, tgwdlm was also a lot of fun. not as bombastic, for sure, but i'd say just as humorous. and it was also incredibly tightly written, and satisfying, with strong character arcs for multiple leads. it had commentary on musicals, on what makes a protagonist and what it means to be one, on conformity and institutions of authority, on romance even (you could do a very interesting aromantic reading of this show, trust me). and with a show that's titled nerdy prudes must die, that is About high school, there's, similarly, a lot you can do. and there's a fair amount of seeds planted there. but i don't think it all quite coheres. and it could've, if they really wanted it to.

...i did not keep that brief. ah well. i might disagree with half of this by the time i wake up tomorrow, i just needed to get it out of me. tl;dr, in my opinion, this show is stronger than black friday, but tgwdlm is still my favorite. all the cast and crew put a lot of love into this production and it really shows. i had a great time! :D but i'm always going to overanalyze things i care about as much as i care about the hatchetfield universe, and hence, here we are.

[archivedjuice]

Thanks for the rec list! If I have the brainspace while doing college work, I'll have a look :)

Unsure if you're interested in any sort of chatter about the show (critical perspetive obv) as I know it'd just be tiring to get bogged down in complaints? If that's so, instead of starting that conversation, is there anything about any of the comics you'd want to spotlight? I've seen a couple characters I'm unfamiliar with that I'm curious about.

i'm going to be so for real i do not remember much about the show anymore; i recently got into supernatural which has fifteen seasons, 20+ books, an anime, and a lot of behind the scenes and crew content so the show's been almost entirely pushed out of my head minus how it directly affects the comics, to make room for the new interest as well as what i'm still interested in re: comics. if i talk about daredevil it's entirely from the perspective of the comics, a limited perspective at that because ive been fixated on a character with like fifty issues for almost two years.

but YES okay. i'm mainly spotlighting characters here since i mentioned mike murdock in my last post, but i'm named after sam chung aka blindspot, who is soule's original character who first appeared in his v5 run (2017). my mutual @faacethefacts is quite literally sam chung central and my favourite interpretation of his character exists in their psyche.

jumping all the way back to v1, something i remember really enjoying were the reoccurring background characters in ann nocenti's run; @murdockmeta and i were talking about it the other day and he said, "nocenti's characterization feels so authentic [...] nocenti reminds the reader that karen and foggy and the people of hell's kitchen are just as important to matt as his internal struggles. it makes him feel much more human rather than just a dichotomy [relating to miller]."

all of david mack's runs changed my perspective of comics as an art form which was a pretty low bar to reach as a first-time comic reader (who had only read post-mcu stuff) but that made his stuff all the more important to me. his character maya lopez aka echo recently got a live action adaption and while i thought it was promising that disney finally reached their own lowest fucking bar and starred a deaf actress in a show about a deaf character, i've found that disney's interpretation of echo's abilities horribly and purposely misunderstands her character and her identity as keetoowah. they tied her abilities to her native american identity, which is something mack explicitly did not do when writing her character; her abilities are her aid as a deaf person !! they're part of her conflict as a weapon !! her cherokee identity should be a fact about her, explored but not tied to the mysticism of that fictional world !! either way, do not watch the show, read the comics <3

god okay. bendis introduces a lot of his own ocs because that's kind of his thing but my favourites were milla donovan and agent del toro. they fell into the wrong hands after he stopped writing for daredevil—milla was fridged (if you know how to look at it, it can be a really good tragedy) and they whitewashed del toro in their racist the hand plotline—but their existence was super important to me and i'm just terribly fond of them :') matt's relationship with ben urich throughout v2 is also something i hold close to my heart because 1) bendis specifically does really well with writing relationships and people, and the nuance of it intrigues me; i could write meta about it if i got back into writing comic meta again, and 2) that's the last we see of them until the most recent run (word-of-mouth, btw. i haven't read v8 yet).

KIRSTEN IS MY GIRL!! she's like so important to me. i'm imprinted on her. if i was on tumblr in 2012, and she as a character existed, i'd fight tooth and nail to have her on my kin list and make sure no one else did. she unfortunately succumbed to the whitewashing demon of daredevil past but that's okay because to me, she is living her best life after [v5 spoilers tbh].

my relationship with elektra can simply be described as that of something akin to a strike. i refuse to read anything of modern daredevil if she's in the title. she has her own fucking title !! we're regressing and it makes me feel a little bit more insane every time i remember that zdarsky stuffed her into the daredevil suit and gave her ableist and infantilising lines for matt. either way i implore you to read nothing about her in the daredevil title past 2018 and to make sure you check out her actual title. amen.

also, simply, matt and foggy's relationship. and not so simply, i miss you karen you deserved better.