#not a drawing

[postit-mikus]

what pen do you use? looks very soft /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\ or the sticky paper might just be of good quality

i use these pens:

paper is just post it brand sticky notes

[storm3326]

may I present logan with dog ears.

[goayda]

[mlkshakehotdogs]

i feel represented by gman

[dewwshi]

TRANSFEM DRIZZT MASTERPOST

breaking my usual “only art posts” rule on this blog to write a dissertation on a thought that has been on my mind since literally homeland. LISTEN. i'm gonna proselytize i’m honestly shocked i haven't seen anyone else say this before. i think drizzt do'urden is transfeminine coded, specifically trans lesbian coded. and i have EVIDENCE. (WALL OF TEXT UNDER CUT)

for the record i'm gonna use he/him pronouns for drizzt in this largely because that's what he uses in canon but i feel like he would for sure switch to she/her or something if he did transition. but i feel weird talking abt characters with pronouns other than canon ones

i'm transmasc so for transparency when i speak abt transfem experiences it's from what i have heard and learned from transfems and take all generalizations with a grain of salt blah blah blah nuance vanilla extract be normal please

also i'm currently only on spine of the world. i have no idea what happens in later parts of the series so my evidence is only from books i’ve read + be forgiving if you know smth i don't + try not to spoil too much thank you BUT ALSO I WANNA KNOW what people think on this sooo yea tell me :heart:

OKAY NOW after all those qualifiers. i'm sorting my evidence into a couple categories:

character evidence (about how being a girl would fit into drizzt’s narrative)

relationship evidence (about how drizzt’s relationships are enhanced by/contribute to his girlitude)

and miscellaneous meta stuff & wording evidence (aka wishful thinking)

CHARACTER/NARRATIVE EVIDENCE

firstly. we MUST discuss the backstory. the childhood trauma.

drizzt's primary backstory, i.e. his childhood in and abandonment of menzoberranzan society, places him in the position of someone who is “too soft” and “too weak” for their society and thus becomes ostracized and outcast. this is a REALLY transfem coded position to be in.

in our world transfem kids get ostracized for not being masculine enough and for being a “sissy.” the situation is obviously pretty different in matriarchal menzoberranzan (“girliness”/femininity is not considered a flaw there the way it is in prevailing attitudes in our world) but the parallel still holds

i'm sure everyone remembers the “you’re a dancer” scene. despite excelling in combat, drizzt (at least pre-melee-magthere) is considered too weak and soft for menzoberranzan even by zaknafein, again framing him as being (by surface standards) more traditionally "feminine" than the rest of menzo men

and YES "you're a dancer" is a complicated scene with a lot of emotional shit going on for both characters but my point is specifically that drizzt's alienation from his society REALLY resembles the alienation that a lot of transfem children experience

for the record he is also very autistic. 100% autistic i’m on that wagon all the way. just to put it on the table

but anyway the queer coding is extremely strong here. the other way you could read the “dancer” gncness drizzt exhibits is as gay coding (many of the same tropes and narratives apply to young gay boys as do to young transfems). i have a couple reasons i prefer the transfem reading though

gayness is not treated the same in menzo. bg3 confirms romantic relationships between women are standard fare in menzoberranzan; my hc is that the same is true among men

that's an explanation from the world's perspective though, not from a meta/writing perspective. to me drizzt's infatuation with women (We'll Get To That) makes him read more like a transbian than a gay man though

anyway back on topic. something the books (the ones i’ve read so far at least) don't really talk about but SHOULD is the relationship with gender (and women specifically) that drizzt would have been left with from his upbringing.

menzoberranzan culture holds that women are above men and that men are inherently worse. you can't just forget something like that after living in a place where that's simply a fact of life for 30 years. lots could be said on that and i think it must have had an effect on how drizzt views women

however to focus on the trans thing let's state the obvious: menzoberranzan gender roles are RIPE for transmisogyny. it’s a society of terfs. the gender roles are SO defined and SO exclusive that an assumed boy even trying on feminine clothing would probably get physically abused. not so different from parts of our world shrugs forever but for a different reason like i mentioned; it's not “girl shit is gross what are you, gay?” it's “how dare you, a filthy man, attempt to partake of womanhood, which you would sully with your very touch” AND AGAIN. THAT SOUNDS LIKE TERF RHETORIC DOESN'T IT?

i think drizzt would have been left with a deep-rooted sense of shame and self-consciousness about gender (as he was about basically all parts of his identity for the record) and i specifically think that a clear parallel can be drawn between those feelings and the transmisogynistic ideas common in our world, in particular the idea that trans women “steal/appropriate womanhood.” in menzoberranzan’s case the idea is more like that “womanhood is a privilege to which men (who are lesser) have no claim.” 

drizzt seems to generally feel like he doesn't deserve to have things he wants, he doesn't deserve to be happy etc etc. and i think it would make peeeerfect sense for that to extend to gender. that he has to learn that he can and is allowed to express his gender freely

then there's the graduation ceremony.

in a journal entry in spine of the world drizzt says the reason he was so uncomfortable with the melee-magthere graduation ceremony was because 1. he didn't wanna do drugs and 2. because Casual Sex Is Bad And You Should Be In Love Before You Do Sex (he's so. repressed. beautiful stupid baby) and while i for sure think those ARE both PARTS of his discomfort, i think i have a bit of extra sauce to add.

consider: the graduation ceremony's purpose (in addition to being a fun light-hearted celebration by drow standards) is to enforce a specific social/sexual gender role onto the young graduates of melee-magthere (clearly the most desirable sexual partners for noble drow women).

that gender role is specifically placed in opposition to womanhood. there's matrons, and then there's patrons, just like the surface world has husbands and wives

i’m thinking that while drizzt is and is written as being HEAVILY attracted to women (again We Will Discuss This), “pretty lady's boytoy” isn't a gender role he's comfortable inhabiting, and so he felt reflexively bad being forced into it.

of course the social role of men in menzoberranzan isn't a nice position to be in even at the best of times but i don't think that was what was on his mind at the time!! what if part of the reason he was so instinctively against partaking was because he rejected the gendered social role placed on him in that moment, a reminder that melee-magthere, and the kind of warrior role he'd been trained for, is for boys alone?

leading from that. in siege of darkness drizzt imagines what catti-brie’s life would have been like in menzoberranzan if she was drow. consider how easily he chooses to imagine her going to melee-magthere instead of arach-tinilith even though the former is boys only. this is SOME kind of gender fuckery for sure. i'm thinking some part of him feels that melee-magthere (and the kind of combat training taught there, which drizzt excels at) isn’t or shouldn’t be for men exclusively. he enjoys being a warrior and he's good at it, but, for him, that warrior role is DISTINCT from a masculine gender, even though in menzoberranzan it wasn't distinct at all.

i find that drizzt being transfeminine boosts the hell out of all of his other “fuck you"s to menzoberranzan society

not only is he an insult to the way of lolth by rejecting it in favour of empathy, but he's going in the face of the entire gender system of menzoberranzan. just totally blasts it. i feel like it adds a whole new layer to his rejection of the lolthite way of life

of course that's an argument you could make of any queer reading of drizzt as a character but i feel like it hits hardest with SPECIFICALLY transfem drizzt. one brave tgirl's Exodus From Terflandia.

but even then when he does come to the surface, he finds himself alone and apart from society. 

in the early books’ world there is no place in surface faerûn society for a drow, it is designed to exclude him the exact same way existing binary cisnormative gender structures are designed to exclude queer people.

drizzt has to start off on the complete fringes of society and then carve a place and home for himself with like-minded people who love him and who he loves. that's exactly what queer people have to do too. is leaving the underdark a metaphor for coming out??? i guess so.

CAN WE TALK about the shit with the mask of disguise in the halfling's gem? THAT SHIT IS TRANS AS HELL!!! again autism coding runs parallel hand in hand here but like.

“you have the choice to suppress who you are in order to fit into wider society. now will you do that, or will you live as someone visibly outside the norms? is it enough to know no matter what, you will still have your loved ones who accept you no matter who you turn out to be, to know that you will be happier if you let yourself express your true self?”

THAT'S THE QUEEREST SHIT EVER.

also drizzt's fixation on personal freedom makes a lot of sense (a lot more sense than it does as in-canon imho) if you read him as trans. in menzoberranzan he would never have had the freedom to do with his body and presentation what he wants.

being able to be the person he wants to be seems to be a central concern in his mind, for himself. he doesn't just have an “i don't want to kill and torture people” objection to menzo culture, but an “i want to be able to choose the life and identity that i want for myself” objection

as it stands in canon the reason why he's so fixated on this isn't clear (so far at least). it makes more sense if he is transfem, and growing up in a system where he was actively prevented from pursuing his own tgirl happiness left him very invested in standing against that

on a meta level the “freedom is the most important thing ever” thing kinda is weird to me (it's very “can you tell the author is american”) BUT it becomes a lot BETTER if reinterpreted as “my old government wanted me dead for being transgender, so i think everyone can do whatever they want forever”

some of the general stuff about drizzt's queercoding in this section is pretty general but i veeery much think specifically transfem drizzt makes the most sense and adds the most to his character and story. and that's what the post is about. so yeah

RELATIONSHIP EVIDENCE

this section is abt drizzt's relationships! wahoo

1. CATTI-BRIE

ok so there’s a lot to say about catti-brie and why i consider their relationship a lesbian one and how i think drizzt's attraction to and love for women reads as extremely trans lesbian in nature.

bringing back that thing about shame from earlier. drizzt has, as he has in all things, a tendency to be ashamed of and suppress his own emotions in terms of romance.

the way he thinks about his attraction to catti-brie reads a lot like the way a transfem with a lot of internalized transmisogyny and lesbophobia might feel abt her attraction to women:

he acts guilty and embarrassed and tries to keep it a secret, to avoid talking about it, to avoid expressing his wants in any way at all

he's also afraid of being punished for it. think back to his stuff about women in menzo. he feels like he's not allowed to feel this way about women OR - HEAR ME OUT - HIMSELF. to me, a fear that he is encroaching on womanhood (both as a participant and as an enjoyer) is a very natural source for that shame

note that it’s specifically when she isn’t looking. ashamed!

drizzt in that excerpt assumes that bruenor would berate him even though he SHOULD KNOW bruenor trusts and likes him enough to fully give them his blessing. also drizzt blushes immediately after this and acts all flustered about it. ashamed!

in siege of darkness (during the "but for now, friends" scene) drizzt does tell catti that he’s in love with her- and follows it up immediately with “it’s no big deal, don’t even worry about it, i can totally just repress it forever if you’re not comfortable with it” (GUT WRENCHING SCENE THAT THREW ME OUT TO THE CURB BTW. AUGH). it's a COPE. he's terrified of being punished or rejected or ridiculed. i think all of those fears tie deeply and specifically into gender- his own, and hers too.

lesbian culture is known for a level of near-rhapsodic adoration for women and i see that in drizzt. the way he talks and thinks about catti-brie is insanely sapphic. basically every time he thinks about her he’s thinking shit like “god she’s the most beautiful and the best and i would die for her and there’s nobody in the world like her” this is truly a kind of infatuation lesbians are famous for. 

are there men who think about women like this? yes of course. is it a cornerstone of wlw culture to a degree that casts even the most cisgender of those men as almost gender non-conforming? i would say yes.

he spends so much of this scene fawning over her that i don’t even know which parts of it to include

i could keep going but listen the point i’m trying to illustrate is that he’s fucking SMITTEN with her okay? and it's EVIDENCE he is a woman i swear to god this is facts and logic and makes sense THIS IS LESBIAN BEHAVIOUR!!!!

AND THE SLOW BURN. the slow burn is lesbian coded as well. wlw stories are LEGENDARY for the extended periods of mutual pining that they often feature. pining is basically a classic feature of lesbian romance.

catti-brie and drizzt spent SIX FUCKING YEARS on the sea sprite together in the time skip between siege of darkness and passage to dawn, the ENTIRETY of which drizzt spent HOPELESSLY IN LOVE with her, and they did NOTHING together. if pining was a song these motherfuckers would have gone triple platinum. and that? oh BABY, is it yuri to me

i could make a whole other post exclusively about a lesbian reading of catti-brie and her relationship with wulfgar being comphet. honestly i could make a lot of posts about catti-brie she's insanely interesting and i have SOOO many thoughts about her. but suffice it to say: i think she’s gay as hell

for the record you may be thinking “okay he’s just in love with catti that’s why he’s like that” true but he is also fascinated with and identifies himself with a lot of the women he meets on the surface. and of course there is The Guenhwyvar Thing

2. THE GUENHWYVAR THING

let's discuss The Guenhwyvar Thing

you guys remember the fucking poem from homeland? about how beautiful and incredible guen is? literally the first time i saw that i was like “this is the most tgirl shit i've ever seen.”

are you guys seeing this??? “you, girl panther, are how i feel inside, i wish i could be you for realsies." reflection from mulan core. on all levels except physical i am a giant female panther

the fact that drizzt is so utterly enamoured with, again, a Female magical panther reads as extremely transfem coded to me. i truly feel like guenhwyvar's gender is a core facet of why drizzt adores her so much.

drizzt's relationship with guenhwyvar is – and was from the beginning – a place where he could freely admire and relate to femininity without shame.

guen’s femininity (by virtue of its animalness and magicalness) is very different from the femininity of menzoberranzan’s matron mothers. drizzt grew up in with an exclusive and abusive femininity that left him as an outsider, always unable to partake of or even genuinely admire womanhood. but he always wanted to and, when he gets the chance, he does. HARD.

i maintain a headcanon that if drizzt were to play dnd with the companions of the hall, he would play a conspicuously female druid every single time and never explain why it had to be a woman. but i know. I Know Why it has to be a woman.

3. ARTEMIS

god the queer reading here is sooo potent. here's my thoughts

artemis and drizzt’s struggle (at least as far as i've read) is one of a person who pursues happiness even under the risk of being outcast or hurt by society, and a person who has suppressed the need for happiness to secure survival. this can be easily expanded to a queer context:

artemis is closeted or stealth, dismissive of his own queerness. he sees an out and proud drizzt, publically living as a queer person, pursuing queer happiness. (not that drizzt is actually out and proud as a tgirl BUT HE HAS THAT ENERGY! LIFE COULD BE DREAM)

in other words artemis sees drizzt living a life that he (artemis) subconsciously decided long ago was impossible, unattainable, something he had to give up to survive. a kind of life that he hates his own desire to have. he hates drizzt for being happy in a way he wants but has decided he cannot have and thus nobody should even try for. he envies him.

you may be thinking “that sounds a lot like the dynamic drizzt and artemis already have in canon” EXACTLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

i really enjoy transmasc artemis who's been stealth since age 10 but i'll admit i'm not as dedicated to that headcanon as i am to transfem drizzt. idk where he's getting that beard from. maybe the crime guilds of calimport have access to magic hrt

bet when you started reading this post you weren't expecting kalvin garrah artemis entreri

anyway the point is that artemis’ redemption arc is the journey from he/him transmasc to he/they transmasc. DOESN'T HE JUST HAVE HE/THEY ENERGY?

MISCELLANEOUS EVIDENCE

this section deals a few other little random things that don't mean much but boy do they add spice to my life

UNICORN SYMBOLISM. drizzt's ranger symbol is a unicorn. a symbol of mielikki of course but also perhaps the most feminine of all mythological creatures and he chose it specifically to represent himself as well. and as a ranger/ nature guardian drizzt occupies a very typically feminine role. like who speaks to animals often? disney princesses do. my girl drizzt is a disney princess deep in his heart and i know this to be true.

now last but not least these ones… these are clearly unintended from salvatore’s pov but i find them FASCINATING

supposed to be a reference to his age i think BUT STILL HOLY SHIT? HE SAYS THAT. DRIZZT HIMSELF OBJECTS TO BEING CALLED A MAN. I'M DOING A LITTLE HAPPY DANCE THIS IS THE GOLD STANDARD FOR TGIRL HEADCANON EVIDENCE

let’s parse this okay because it’s pretty weird and confusing wording. the hag says it is “not for any man; it’s for two and only two” and those two are catti-brie and drizzt, implying NEITHER of them is a man.

the second half conspicuously shifts from “man” to “male,” again avoiding calling drizzt a man and implying he may be male (biologically), but he ISN’T a man. it’s also kind of tacked on to the end, to single drizzt out. almost like the hag was like “shit they’re not going to figure out who the other not-man is so let me add this second thing to it”

and yes of course the author-intent reason it’s phrased like that probably has to do with the word “man” which is sometimes used in these books to mean “human” HOWEVER given that everyone there immediately assumed “no man” referred to catti-brie (who IS human but NOT a man in the gender sense) supports the reading that it does mean gender

IN CONCLUSION

i think drizzt do'urden is a tgirl. i’m just about 100% certain this was not RAS' intent but nonetheless i think a reading of drizzt as transfem based on the evidence present in the books both makes sense and adds a lot to his character AND the other characters AND the story and themes. basically he’s a girl. thanks for readingg

[dr-fancy-pants]

Just saw this as the spotlight posts on my blog and if I ever get known only for drawing Royai hugs and soft touches then my purpose in life is found.

Or something like that.

I will do it again 🤓🫡

[onyxissad]

THE NEW FLESH

[sillypikmin]

i am here to ask ... the Ultimate question ....

[oocooartistry]

Achilles, Near Invincible

I wrote a poem guys! For context, I've been thinking a lot lately about how strange it is the Achilles is only known for his heel. When I first read the Iliad I was shocked to discover he was basically the main character. His death wasn't even in the book, although a majority of it was centered on whether he would go to war knowing he was destined to die there.

Anyway, all of that inspired me to write this poem. I'm not much of a writer so apologies if it's bad. I've titled this "Achilles, Near Invincible"

Achilles near invincible, his skin of iron wrought. Resolve like stone could not be moved tho wind and fire taunt.

Achilles near invincible, his body river touched. Immortal through a mother's love, bar where she held him up.

Hold fast, strong Achilles, when soilders entreat you. Achilles near invincible, in Troy you may die.

Hold back, fierce Achilles, your weaknesses few. But should you march to battle, the arrow will fly.

Achilles near invincible, nay, he would never die. Unless he stay in battle bleak despite his wounded pride.

Achilles near invincible, could not be made to fight. The words of friends could not convince, he turned away his sight.

Fight not, brave Achilles, tho friends all but beg you. Achilles near invincible, the fates have made their plan.

Stand down, bright Achilles, your weaknesses few. You're doomed if you fight here, please leave if you can.

Achilles near invincible, until that fateful day. Patroclus, upon the earth, found slain in his array.

Achilles near invincible took up his fallen spear. In rage earned retribution sweet, and knew his end was near.

Oh woe, brave Achilles, his vengeance seen through. Achilles near invincible, his soul need now depart.

Find rest, dear Achilles, your weaknesses two. The first of those was in your heel. The second, in your heart.

[makkeoneoneo]

ok, nobody gaf, but im playing death note spiraling trap rn. ive got four hours left and im only on floor four. my ass is SO getting blown up!!!

[postit-mikus]

happy birthday to miku!! please enjoy miku on this day!

[margaritaduck]

[mothies-sketchies]

I knit a blanket :)

Kinda looks like cherry cheesecake

[ask-badlydrawnfugo]

(sorry for lack of posts recently!! I’m gonna try to catch up with asks today)

[itbemydrawlings]

Get sick + Lose your mind = Perry the Platypus