#thought it was funnier than just putting their names over the people

[margaritaduck]

[froggiewrites]

Ties That Bind (2)

Pairing: Zoro x Reader

SFW

Summary: You have spent your entire life preparing to meet your soulmate. Even with the words inked on your skin, you could never have imagined how badly your other half would hurt you, nor how much you'd want him anyway. Content: GN!Reader, Angst, Soulmate AU, Imprisonment, Medieval AU, Yearning, Unwanted Soulmates, Eventual Happy Ending, Starvation, Isolation Word Count: 4.1k

You think it might have been a month. You have no way to tell other than the meals that are brought to your cell, and you know that those are inconsistent. You thought you had just truly lost track of time until one delivery was accompanied by apologies for the long wait and warning for an even longer one.

“Wartime rationing, you understand,” the soldier had said. And you do. A kingdom would never prioritize feeding its prisoners over its free people, let alone a prisoner of war. You’re at the bottom of every list, and your current bearings truly reflect that. You get a meager meal of rye bread and thick porridge semi-regularly, with some water to accompany it. Once, on a particularly good day, the porridge was replaced with a rabbit stew and the water with beer. It was one of the worst drinks you had ever tasted, but it almost made you feel full for once. On another occasion you were snuck a small bruised apple by one of the soldiers on watch. You don’t know what compelled him to do it, but the sweetness on your tongue almost made you weep.

The Commander’s visits have continued on a semi-regular basis. Not every day, but many of them. Enough that you wanted to ask him what the hell was keeping him off of the battlefield, how he had time to come mock a prisoner when there was a war to be won (or lost, hopefully). But you maintained your silence, and he kept coming. Never as kind or as warm as the first night, of course. Even the begrudging respect of the first day seems distant. He doesn’t speak much, lacking a conversation partner, but he loves to come and stare. You feel like you’re being stripped down to the bone, pulled apart and judged on a scale you couldn’t possibly begin to understand.

One visit makes things a little more clear. “They’re going to kill you if you don’t have anything useful to say, you know.” It’s almost cute, the concern on his face.

It quickly melts when you snort at the idea. So he wants you to talk? Give up your comrades to save your own skin? Ridiculous. If you were the kind of person to do that, they wouldn’t have promoted you. You wouldn’t have killed in the name of a kingdom that you had such little loyalty for.

“You don’t care if you die?” He sounds upset, which is even funnier than the thought that you would care. A month ago he wanted to kill you himself, and now that you’re content to let such a thing happen he’s displeased? Ridiculous. Maybe he’s just upset he won’t be able to do it himself, or that his work saving you will go to waste. Maybe he just doesn’t want to see a fellow soldier die in such a dishonorable way. Executions have never sat well with you either, after all. There’s not much glory to be found dying on the battlefield, but there’s none to be had dying on a stage.

You shake your head at him, shrugging once again. He scoffs at you, continuing. “It doesn’t even have to be particularly important. I’ll take anything.”

Oh, he really is invested in the puzzle you’ve become, isn’t he? You almost feel guilty, knowing he’s never going to solve it. Never going to figure out what pulls him to you, never going to understand why the sight of you behind bars pulls at him. Maybe you’ll haunt him the rest of his life anyway, despite your best efforts. You put your palms up, an attempt to calm him a bit. You tap your lips before you press your finger to them, indicating your lack of communication with him is going to be a permanent issue. He growls, and you can’t tell if it’s directed at you or just general frustration. He storms out, his boots pounding against the rough stone beneath him.

He’s back the next day, and the day after that, but he doesn’t ask you again.

He always makes a snarky comment or two, dripping with disdain, but he hardly goes beyond that. Maybe he feels it isn’t right to kick you while you're down, or maybe he feels a bit of guilt over the clear strain your injuries have brought. Today is the same as any other.

"Still keeping up the silent act?" His tone is neutral, but his eyes betray him. Every time he enters this room, he's a little more upset, a little more unsettled. He doesn't understand why he's so invested in you. You can see slight bags under his eyes; your attempts to spare him are making him lose sleep. You can't bring yourself to feel much sympathy. He has no idea the amount of pain you're saving him from.

You shake your head, giving him the same thin smile you’ve given him every time he’s come to see you. You can’t bring yourself to outright ignore him after the kindness he’s shown you, but you remain steadfast in your goal. You will die before he hears a word from you. 

He lets out a frustrated growl, and you can see his nails digging into his hand. You’re wearing on his patience. He takes a deep breath in an attempt to compose himself, but it shakes on his exhale. His teeth are pressing together, turning his usually impassive expression into a grimace. “You really aren’t making this easy.”

There’s a fire under the words, smoldering rage building at your rejection. You wonder why he’s trying so hard; is his soul crying out for yours? Does your silence hurt him nearly as badly as his words hurt you? Is he normally this determined with their prisoners, or is he frustrated at his pull to you?

Your hands brush against your ribs, where you know your words lie. They seem to warm a little whenever he speaks, your body begging you to continue walking fate’s path, to speak your words, whatever they are. But you are determined to keep his body blank, scarred only by the battles he seems to adore.

His eyes catch the movement, lingering for a moment. He seems to soften for a moment, something almost resembling concern flashing through his eyes before the annoyance returns. “Stop touching your wounds. It makes it worse.” His tone is stern. A command from a man so accustomed to giving them.

It sets your teeth on edge, receiving commands from an enemy soldier. Especially the one who did this to you. Wasn’t this the point? To hurt you? No matter his kindness after, he still inflicted the wound. Who is he to tell you how to handle it?

Your hunger, lack of sleep, and screaming pain from your wounds cloud your better judgment, and you let pettiness take over as you scrape your nails down your bandages. Not enough to make any real significance in your pain, just a drop in the bucket that’s been filling with your agony since you arrived. 

He winces as he watches, grimacing slightly. “You’re insufferable, General. Hurt yourself all you want, far be it from me to stop you.” There’s far more bite to his words than his previous complaints, and as he storms off, you wonder if this was his breaking point, and you won’t see the man again, not until your final day as he watches from the audience as your life is snuffed out.

He doesn’t come back the next day, or the day after that. You try to ignore how that stings. Despite how badly you wanted him to leave, his visits were the only break from the monotonous routine you're under, and the only time anybody spoke to you. Without him, you hardly feel human.

They forget to bring you food at least once, you think. You can’t say for sure, since you don’t have sunlight to track the days by, but the growling in your stomach is far worse than usual. Was the Commander ensuring you were fed? Surely not. Maybe they were treating you better when you had his attention, and now that the pressure has left the staff is more likely to let things fall through the cracks. 

It is the intense growling of your stomach that leads to worried whispers among the guards outside, which eventually cultivates in one of them disappearing for a few minutes and coming back with a bowl of something steaming hot. His hands shake as he holds the keys to your cell as the others keep their head on a swivel.

Are they…breaking the rules for you?

When he enters the cell, he places the food down quickly, not daring to look you in the eye. Another soldier slips him a waterskin, which he quickly slides to you, still without looking up. Before you can even open your mouth to speak, he’s already skittering out, taking his position as though nothing happened.

You slowly pick up the bowl, inspecting it. You expect some small scraps, like the apple you were given last week. Instead you find a nice, hearty stew, made with what you think is beef. You take a small sip of the broth, and the flavor explodes in your mouth. A lovely savory flavor hits you. You swear you can taste a hint of wine. This isn’t common fare for a prisoner. Is this…their food? Did one of these men give up their own lunch for the day to ensure you were fed?

No, this is too good for a common footsoldier. This is something that might be given to an officer, or even a noble. Whose food did they steal to give to you? How much are they risking here?

You’re overwhelmed by a lot of feelings. Gratitude, first and foremost. But then confusion: why couldn’t they have just gone to the kitchen? Why the stealth, the subterfuge? That means they must be unable to provide for you through the usual channels, and, more importantly, that they’d be punished for this simple act of kindness. The kitchen hasn’t forgotten you, nor has the rationing gotten so bad they’re depriving those of you at the bottom of the food chain. This was an order. Someone has demanded your starvation.

You close your eyes and wonder. You immediately dismiss the Commander as a suspect. He’s shown you too much kindness to do such a thing, surely. Maybe that’s your soul bond talking, overriding your common sense, but something deep inside of you simply doesn’t want to doubt him. Perhaps whoever told him they wanted information? Maybe the King himself, frustrated at the idea of spending resources on a prisoner not even from his own nation?

You’ll have a lot of time to ponder that later, you reassure yourself. For now you try to savor every bite of your stew, letting the flavors dance on your tongue. You haven’t enjoyed something like this for a long time. Even before your imprisonment. The last time you can remember something this flavorful was the banquet they threw before your most recent deployment. It had been thrown in your honor, for loyal service, but it was more of an excuse for the nobles to party. That hadn’t mattered much. In spite of the dozen marriage proposals you had to fend off from the courtiers and second and third sons and daughters of some of the nobility, you had a great time. It was the last time you had seen your parents, as they told you how proud they were of you. The last time you saw many of your friends before you were sent to different posts, different fronts. You know a handful of them were slain after, in an ambush along the border a few weeks after you had all toasted to a victory you all knew you might not see.

You don’t realize you’re crying until the tears begin to fall in your now empty bowl, washing away the last traces of seasoning from the wood. Had you allowed yourself to grieve all that you’ve lost, all that you’re going to lose? Of course not. You didn’t have the time. You had a war to win, to ensure their sacrifices weren’t in vain. Now you had nothing but time, and no way to help them other than your silence. That’s all you can do to save anyone now, isn’t it? Save your friends, your country, your soulmate only by keeping your mouth shut. Powerless to do anything else.

The soldier who comes to collect your bowl doesn’t comment on your sniffling. You appreciate it. You don’t have the energy right now, and you have more pressing issues to worry about than comfort from a stranger, anyway.

"When's my execution?" The soldier jumps when you speak, as they all do. They seem oddly frightened of your voice in particular. You wonder if the Commander's annoyance at your lack of cooperation is so obvious it's made them fear consequences from him. You wonder if he's a cruel enough man to make those fears a reality. Surely not, with the way he treated your wounds so kindly. Or perhaps it was simply your bond that compelled him to do that, and the universe tied you to a tyrant.

No, of course not. Surely it was fear of whoever ordered you to be starved.

"Your...what?" The boy is young, with scraggly facial hair he's better off shaving and a few pimples poorly hidden beneath it. You wonder if this is such an awful place they draft children into their armies, or, worse, they let them volunteer. This young man should not have to know war.

"My execution. I assume it's soon, yes?"

"I'm...we have no current plans to execute you, General." He's shaking in his boots, his eyes sliding away from yours. The thought of death makes him uncomfortable, and your nonchalance even more so. "You're not on death row."

You laugh, looking down at your bandages, turning a sickly yellow after weeks of going unchanged. The Commander was the only one ensuring you survived beyond the week, and he seems to have abandoned that mission. Does this young man not know about your lack of use, or was the Commander lying to you earlier? Maybe his mission to get you to talk was just a personal one. You push the thought from your mind, turning back to the poor boy in front of you. "So I'm a hostage, then?"

He wants to say no, but he doesn't want to lie to you. He's an open book, and you wonder which of your comrades will make this earnest young man's family bury him. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“They won’t take me back, you know. Goa never negotiates for prisoners of war. Strict policy.”

You can see the horror on his face at the idea of you rotting here forever. “Not even for a General?”

“Especially not for a General. I made my oath knowing what would happen if I failed. Frankly, I’d be furious if they did try to make a deal for me. Which they wouldn’t. Anything that happens to me now is simply the consequences of my failure.” He seems upset on your behalf, something you can’t help but smile sardonically at. How many of his countrymen have you cut down? This is hardly a worthy payment for the blood you’ve spilt. Even a lifetime down here wouldn’t offset the things you’ve done in the name of your people. An honorable fight still ends in death. “Tell your superiors if you think they don’t know. I have no value to them alive.”

You don’t want to spend the rest of time rotting down here, thinking about what could have been or the world outside. You’d rather have a clean ending, if you have to have one. Maybe your men will see you as a martyr. That wouldn’t be so bad.

His voice cracks as he speaks next, and you can’t tell if it’s from his age or the fear. “Y–yes Ser.”

You almost laugh. You haven’t been a Ser since that blade slipped between your ribs. It feels strange to get the respect you were so accustomed to outside of these walls. So funny how quickly your sense of self has come undone in your isolation. As the days go on, you feel all of the best parts of you slipping away: your authority, your humor, your kindness. You get the feeling very little of you will be left by the end of it all. They’re killing your soul before they take out of the body it’s leaving behind.

You hope the Commander wasn’t lying about what they’ll do once they realize you won’t speak.

Soon, you find winter has come. You cannot feel your fingers, and you can see a horrible pale has started to spread from their tips downward. You've seen plenty of frostbite on the battlefield, on poor infantrymen with torn coats and hole-filled gloves. You've seen how bad it can get, and you know that soon your skin will start to darken purple, that soon you will start to rot. There is nothing you can do, not with your raggedy clothes and threadbare blanket. The chill is seeping out of the stone below you, an inescapable creeping darkness that will soon overcome you. You had hoped for a more dignified death, but you suppose nature isn't the worst way to go. At least it won't be a spectacle. A small footnote in history at worst, the kind your eyes skim right over. People will not remember you for this. A small mercy.

He has not visited you in days, since the cold swept in. Neither have the soldiers delivering you food, or even the ones who sneak it to you. Maybe they truly are planning on letting you die down here, and the Commander has finally accepted he won't hear a word from you before you do. Maybe he doesn't want to witness it. Maybe he simply doesn't care enough to see it, is content to know you're rotting away.

You know the sound of his footsteps by heart now, despite how much you wish you didn’t. He walks slowly, downright leisurely, to your cell. Your eyes flutter open at the sound of the bars creaking open.

He has a new scar, forcing one of his beautiful eyes closed. A shame. You had decided those were your favorite part of him.

He leans down to you, knees pressing against the stone as he looks at you. His fingers slide over your bandages, and you jump under his touch. There’s little warmth in his eyes, his kindness hidden beneath the cold exterior of a soldier. He’s overlooking your form like a predator, taking in your sickly pallor and jutting ribs. His voice is cold when he speaks again. “Are you feeling like talking now?”

What?

“Hasn’t this been enough for you?” He stares at you as he did on the first day, ready to strike you down at the first sign of weakness.

Did he…no. No, no, he couldn’t have.

The Commander is the one who has been starving you.

His act slips for just a moment when he sees the look on your face, the betrayal and hurt you can’t quite hide. He doesn’t owe you anything, not really, but you realize you had almost trusted him. Never could bring yourself to doubt his intentions, not when you know what you are to each other. But you aren’t lovers, aren’t even friends. You’re enemies on either side of an endless and brutal war, and the Commander doesn’t strike you as the kind of man who likes to lose.

The regret on his face is quickly quelled as he schools his face back to neutral.

You pull away from him with what little strength you have, tucking your knees up protectively, making yourself small. How pathetic. What would the people who trained you think, seeing you show your weakness so obviously like this? They’d be ashamed. Say it would be better for you to fall on the battlefield than to allow yourself to be disgraced, stripped of your dignity. You can’t help but agree with them as you squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head.

“Still nothing?” He sounds frustrated. Maybe you’re an assignment he’s failing. Maybe he hoped his kindness would get you to talk, get some kind of information out of you, and when that failed he decided to leave you to rot and see if that softened you up. You try to take some comfort in the fact that he doesn’t seem to revel in it, but your growling stomach silences that thought pretty quickly.

You want to tell him to fuck off, to scream to the heavens, but you tell yourself that you’re better than him, showing him mercy like this. That you’ll be able to die with your head held high, knowing that you stuck to your principles, that you were stronger than him, than all of this. You’ll have been kinder than he could possibly know, even after all of this.

But then he opens his goddamn mouth again. “What’s with the accusing looks? I left you to rot like you wanted. I got back onto the battlefield and cut down a hundred of your comrades while you wasted away. Why should I protect you when you can’t give me a single goddamn word?”

What was the point of silence now? You had wanted to spare him the pain, the suffering of knowing what was meant to be and what never was. But why should he be spared? Why must you bear it all on your own, while he gets to move on? Some part of him should rot here with you. Whatever part you were meant to have.

“I never hated you before this moment, Commander.” Your voice is little more than a ragged whisper, but you know he hears you. His fingers tighten against the bars, and for a moment his face betrays him: surprise, confusion, understanding all flash across it at lightning speed. You wonder how he’ll react. If he would be swallowed by the regret he deserves.

His jaw tightens. His voice is quiet, cold. He makes his stance clear very quickly: this is not a man who is willing to love you. This is a man who is furious at being deceived. “I see. That’s a shame, General. I’d always thought this was something reciprocal.” There’s some deeper meaning laced to his words, but you don’t care to untangle it. Your head is fuzzy from hunger and your heart is hardened by the time you’ve spent rotting away down here.

“It wasn’t. It was never meant to be,” you mutter firmly. You let your head loll back, hitting the stone wall with a soft thump. Your eyes fall closed, and you can feel reality start to fade away, sleep slowly tearing at the edges.

“You think you’re the only one who gets to decide that?” He’s clenching his fists, veins popping from the tension.

The kind part of you wants to give him some explanation, about how this was for him, for his own good, but the rest of you is too damn tired to try. “Yes.”

He scoffs. “This is bullshit.”

You can’t help the soft, bitter laugh that leaves you. “That’s something we agree on. This is all meaningless. A joke the universe is playing on us.”

He sounds a bit softer when he speaks again, a bit closer to how he was on the first night, but the undercurrent of rage is still clear. “Some people would want to know about this. Some people think things happen for a reason.”

It’s your turn to scoff. “You don’t. Neither do I, not anymore.”

He pauses. “You used to?”

“I used to believe in a lot of things,” you murmur.

For once he doesn’t have an answer for you. The man who spent a month begging for your words left speechless now that he has them. You expect some kind of regret, or more anger, but instead he stares at you, face unreadable. When he closes your cell door, you can hear the metal clang from the force. He walks away, his footsteps echoing loudly against the cobblestone as he walks back to his life, with a new understanding that it will be one he spends alone.

Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece @shy-writer-999 @dreamcastgirl99 @tochillwithamockingjay @hank88999 @lala27715 @kyllium @nerium21 @praline357 @fangeekkk @loserclub22 @starchild-unnamed @bethleeham @whitelaxe @tiredpoetrybitch @fangirlbitch02

[cultven]

Hello!!❤💛

Is it possible for you to do a fic where reader keeps putting cat ears and little bows on wolverines head while he's sleeping. logan is so sick of it and deadpool keeps getting blamed for it.

Until logan finds multiple pictures on readers phone😂

The Midnight Fashionista

Wolverine X Reader

Content: Roommate things, Arguing, Some Cursing, Domestic bliss, Mary Puppins, Just lots of cute fluffy and funny moments, You and Wade being best friends forever

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Very very small Wolverine/Deadpool violence

a/n: Another cute, shorter request while I work on the longer ones. I love the random domestic requests like this lol. This one-shot turned out a lot longer and admittedly better than I thought, so enjoy!

The first thing you heard bright and early in the morning was Logan shouting Wade’s name from your shared bedroom. Not in a sexual sense, but in pure rage. He burst through the door, finding the two of you perched at the breakfast table. “I told you to stop doing this shit! Next time I’m fucking gutting you and leaving you on the street to bleed out.” Logan raged, fighting with the cat headband and barrettes tangled in his hair. The cherry on top was the two small bows on each tuff of his wolf-like hair. He was still in his pajamas, clearly just woken up. 

“Sorry, beautiful, but that’s not my doing. It is a good look on you though.” Wade cooed through mouthfuls of cereal. 

“Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t fucking believe you.” 

“No, I’m being serious! That is a wonderful look for the Wolverine. Very cutesy.” 

“I’m going to fucking kill you, you freak of nature.”

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

You were just sitting silently, giggling at the banter. The cute accessories were of course your doing, but you understand where Logan is so adamant Wade was the culprit, it does seem like something he would do. You weren’t typically one for practical jokes like that, especially not on grumpy people like Logan, but you just couldn’t resist how cute he looked! The light pink bows and cute little cat ears paired with Logan’s beautiful relaxed sleeping face was just the cutest sight in the world. Your heart almost exploded the first time! Over the past week, your camera roll became filled to the brim with different poses and angles of Logan adorned in the accessories. Ever since saving the timeline, Logan has slept like a rock so you’ve thankfully gotten away with everything so far, but of course, the evidence is there when he wakes up. You know you could just take the accessories off when you’re done with your photo ops, but gauging his reaction to the mysterious bows is just so much funnier. Plus, the blame was always put on Wade anyway. 

Seeing as he wasn’t going to get an apology from Wade, Logan just grumbled patting your head as he walked past you, grabbing a protein bar, and heading back to the bedroom. You only smile innocently at the man before he’s out of sight, Wade turning to you suspiciously. “I know how fashionable Blind Al is with her matching tracksuits every goddamn day, but the bows are you, right?” You only smirk at Wade before taking a sip of tea. 

“Maybe.” You drag out the word playfully, watching Wade’s face perk up. 

“You backstabber! Throwing me under the bus every time. You truly are awful to me, peanut.” Wade feigns a look of betrayal, pouting his lip. 

“Hey! I never threw you under, Logan just assumed it was you because of your reputation. You did that to yourself, Wadey.” You pat his arm, standing up to grab yourself some more tea. 

“What’s gonna happen when I tell our hot-headed friend who is really to blame.” Wade rests his head on his fist, taunting you. 

“He probably wouldn’t believe you either way, but if you did,” You whip your phone out of your pocket, waving it in front of Wade’s confused face. “I wouldn’t share my collection of lovely photographs.” You gingerly put the phone back into your pocket before Wade could snatch the device out of your hands. 

“Oh em gee! No way you got those.” Wade’s eyes were practically popping out of his head, desperate for even a glance at one of the ridiculous photos on your phone. “I bet he looks like one of those really depressing kittens that people feel bad for!” Just as you were about to give him a taste of your photography skills Logan shuffles into the room, now decent for the day with casual clothes on. 

“Y/N are you ready?” Logan was leaning in the doorway. 

“Oh yeah, coming!” You reply, trotting over to the man offering him a sweet smile, one which he returned. It was Sunday which meant it was an errand day. Since Wade was a child when it came to his food selections, you and Logan were always the ones going grocery shopping instead. It was hard to explain to Wade that people cannot only live off of snacks and indulgent food. Well, maybe he and Logan could due to their powers, but you and Blind Al certainly couldn’t. You never minded going shopping anyway, especially not with Logan’s company. You enjoyed the domestic bliss of running errands together. “Wade, we'll be back in a few hours. We’re going clothes shopping first, lunch, and then food shopping. Don’t forget to take Mary Puppins out!”

“Aww, what!” Wade groaned, looking over at the two of you. “Y/N quickly text it to me before you leave, please!” He whined like a child, his hands making a grabbing motion out to you. 

“Text what?” Logan questioned, raising an eyebrow while looking between the two of you. 

“Just some stupid memes we saw earlier, Lo.” You wrapped your right arm around his left. “He’ll be ok without it. I’ll show you later, Wade.” You wink at the man throwing a fit, which makes him instantly pop up as if nothing had happened. 

“ ‘kay!” You just shook your head and led Logan out the door. After a few hours of nice conversation and peaceful shopping, you and Logan carried the bags up the stairs to the apartment. Well, Logan held the majority of the bags insisting on being a gentleman, leaving you with one small bag to carry. Unlocking the door you find Wade rotting away on the couch, one hand petting Mary Puppins, the other scooping handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. 

“Hmmhmm!” He excitedly exclaimed at your arrival, not making any eligible words. You only waved to him with a smile as Logan just completely ignored the man, beginning to unpack the bags in the kitchen. 

You kiss Logan’s cheek, “You can go take your shower if you want, I can do the unpacking.” His head craned down to look at you, a relaxed expression on his face. 

“You sure, bub?” You simply nodded with a smile, earning an appreciative look from Logan. He rubbed your arm, a loving gesture, before walking towards the bathroom. Once you were certain he was out of earshot, you made a ‘pst!’ noise over to Wade. His head shot over to your direction as you gestured for him to go over to you. 

“Look what I found at the store while Logan wasn’t looking.” You whisper, snickering as Wade takes the small objects in with all of their glory. 

“Holy shit! He’s going to look like a Barbie puked all over him!” He quietly celebrated, looking at your haul. There was a set of overly pink, sparkly cat ears, small butterfly barrettes that were also hot pink, and various other hair accessories for you to mess with your boyfriend with. “Oh also, don’t forget to show me those pictures, peanut! You’ve been edging me with that all day.” 

“Ew, let's not phrase it like that Wade, but here.” You unlock your phone and begin to scroll through the dozens of photos you’ve accumulated over the past week. Some blurry, some surprisingly high quality. You two were gawking over the photos, too enthralled in their cuteness, to realize that Logan had reappeared in the room, right behind you. 

“Hey Y/N, where’s that new shampoo you bought?” Noticing your lack of reaction or even acknowledgement of his existence he walks over to see what you pair were looking at. He immediately becomes baffled seeing the myriad of accessories and new ears laid out on the counter. What surprised him most of all was the collection of photos you were proudly displaying to your roommate. 

“What the fuck!?” Logan yelled, making the two of you jump. 

“I think I just peed my pants.” Wade warily stated, before turning around and waving. “Hey, big guy.” Claws can be heard penetrating through skin, leaving Wade to just yelp in surprise. 

“Logan! We’ve talked about this, no blood on the floor!” You scolded before he turned to you, immediately shutting up. 

“So it was you!” Logan exclaimed, not so much yelling in rage rather than embarrassment. His claws were now gone, not wanting to hurt you. 

“Well yes, but you have to admit you look super adorable in these photos!” You hold up your phone, scrolling through the many images. Logan just looks at the phone with bewildered eyes. 

“Delete those!” 

“But I worked so hard for them…”

“Y/N!” 

You sigh in defeat, looking down at the ground. “Ok, ok… I’ll delete them.” 

“Thank you.”

“If you continue letting me do it while you’re sleeping!”

“No!”

“Once a week?” You looked up at Logan with the best puppy eyes you could conjure up, pouting a little bit to play up the act. Logan only groaned, looking away from your pleading face. You were his only weakness and you knew it. 

“I’ll think about it.” Timeskip to the next morning you and Wade are sitting at the table once again, Wade throwing bits and pieces of his breakfast onto the floor for Mary Puppins while you mindlessly scroll through your phone. 

“Mornin’.” You heard a grumble. Looking up you capture the image of the Wolverine, still drunk with sleep, standing in the kitchen in nothing but boxer shorts and two small pink bows tied to the top of his head. As you sneakily try to raise your phone to get a good shot a hand with claws is pointed in your direction. “Remember our deal?” You only nodded with a small smile before putting your phone down and admiring the view. 

“I think I should glue some bows on your abs next.”

“Don’t even think about it, bub.”

[dilf-docs]

Sabor A Chocolate

eddie brock x younger fem!reader

summary: your boyfriend eddie and his symbiote pal just make sure you know how loved you are.

warnings: sfw (there's always a first), tooth rotting fluff, my attempt at comedy (less funnier than friends), age gap (blog's brand ofc), chubby!reader, she's very insecure but actually deserves the world💔, angst, hurt/comfort, discussions of body image (neg), venom/eddie giving her the love she deserves!!!! kinda took some inspo on elefante's song by the same name of the title, set before venom 2 (not important actually)

word count: 2,580 words

side note: so i watched again venom 3 now that it's available on stream and i'm full of grief for my black little people eater alien💔 anywayyyy this is a based on this request; i hope u enjoy it my lil' frien :) ALSO tysm for leaving ur message!!!!!!!!!

It was Mrs. Chen's fault, really.

It all started with a late trip to the convinience store, which happened to be owned by one of your mother's closest friends.

Final's week was approaching, and with all the academic pressure, you tend to study until late hours, which means snack time can also end up happening in the middle of the night. Which is the reason why you're scouring through the store at 10pm, your hand occupied with some chocolates and chips to endure the rest of the study session you've got ahead.

The door makes its silly sound, announcing a new customer.

"Hey Eddie!" you hear Mrs. Chen's voice. You hide behind one of the shelves, ashamed of your aspect: one thing is a close elderly friend seeing you like this, another is a total stranger watching your final's week look: consisting of a long over-sized shirt with a washed up Welcome To San Francisco! on the front, some pajama shorts that ride up your thighs, a ponytail-bun hybrid and bare face.

"Hello, Mrs. Chen" the gravely voice returns. Oh, it's a guy: a guy with a very nice tone. You wonder if the face matches the voice, "looking good"

If possible, you get more embarrased than before. You don't usually have that much game, but if you were to get a chance, it definetely won't happen with you looking like this. You desperately want to get out, but leaving the food behind is a huge no. Also, getting out through the door without the man noticing is quite literally imposible.

She snickers, "I always look good!"

You decide to stay put until he leaves, hiding next to the chocolate shelf.

"What are you getting tonight, Eddie?" the elder woman makes a pause, "let me guess..."

You hear foot-steps against the floor, the sound growing stronger and closer. You pray to anyone out there who can hear you to stop what you think's going to happen.

"You already know what it is, Mrs. Chen" a beat, "chocolates!"

He screams first. You then scream, and then Mrs. Chen shuts you two idiots up.

"Stop shouting in my store! You'll scare possible customers"

"I'm sorry" Eddie says, then turns to you again and repeats his apology, "I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry too" you laugh, ashamed. "I didn't mean to scare you"

Now, Eddie takes in your figure better. Yes, your aspect is very poor, but it doesn't erase your beauty. He can understand: thanks to Venom, he's been sweaty and bad-looking before.

"Is everything okay?" you ask, growing a bit self conscious with the staring. It's definitely happened before, and not for good reasons.

"Yes!" he answers hastily, then coughs, rosy cheeks on display. "I'm Eddie, by the way"

"Glad we cleared that up" you chirp, almost breathing with relief on the spot, "I'm y/n!"

"Pretty name" he whistles, "pleased to see the name matches the face"

"Oh" you blush furiously. Is he being for real? This absolutely gorgeous strong older man? It's like a dream come true; maybe it is. No way a man, a good looking one on top of that, notices you, especially now that you're looking the worst possible ever.

"Are you buying or what?" Mrs. Chen pops up from behind you both. "Flirt later, after you buy. Outside"

"Geez, Mrs. Chen. I thought you were my friend" he feigs sadness, a hand over his chest. "You sure know how to kill a guy's game"

You giggle, and Mrs. Chen looks at you, then at Eddie and smiles. Ah, you know that look. God, this is about to turn very embarrassing.

"Not with y/n" she elbows your side, not so discreet. "My girl here is difficult to scare"

You turn red again. "Don't know what that says about me" then you lean closer to Eddie, whispering. He gets a whiff of the strawberry splash you put on yourself (you may look bad, but smell bad? never). "Mrs. Chen's friends with my mom, please don't listen to anything she says"

"Well, thank you, Mrs. Chen" he then looks at you and winks. He mouths an I'll help you, and you find yourself blushing for the 100th time. "Help me check this out, won't you?" he shows some chocolates. She leaves with Eddie, saying something like For your friend, right? but you're too busy thinking about how that could've gone in a more embarrassing way. The downside? She totally noticed the exchange; after the wink and asking your name part, you're positive it isn't one-sided.

"Hey, um. Y/n, right?" you nod too vigorous, like a fool. Just a name exchange and you're already this down bad? You need to stop. "Do you need help with that?" he points out the snacks that, at this point, you've already forgotten about.

"Oh! I can carry it myself" you dismiss.

"No, not that kind of help. I can see you're doing a pretty good job yourself" he gets closer, and your skin gets goosebumps at the closeness, even feeling his breathe on you. He's making you nervous just like that. "I'll pay for it"

Low husky voice whispering to you? Close proximity? And paying for your snacks at the very first meet? Is this some sort of trick or a straight out of a rom-com scenario?

You tend to more skeptical, but this guy is definitely working on you.

"C'mon. Don't leave me hanging in here, doll" he encourages, seeing your lack of motion. You blush (again) at the compliment. "Rough night?"

"Just finals" you answer while giving him your two snacks.

"Are you in college?" you nod. Then, you both walk to the entrance, where Mrs. Chen gives you with a look you try to ignore. She checks out your snacks and his chocolates. You wonder if he likes the same as yours, and why he's got so many of them. "Wow, what are you studying?"

"Journalism!" you answer a bit too excited, but God, don't you love your degree. "The reason I'm studying journalism is because I love to write. Through it, I would love to help others without a voice, you know?

"Wanna know something funny? I'm what you'd call a journalist as well"

"What?!" you shout a bit too loud, perhaps because of ease or perhaps of laugh at the timing of it all.

"Yeah! Are you from San Francisco?" he asks.

"No" you answer, confused as to where it leads. "Moved in for college"

"That explains it" he grabs the items he's just payed for, handing them back to you. "You know, I'm sort of famous around here. Ever heard of Cletus Cassidy?"

"Cactus what-?"

"Oh, Eddie" she laughs, mockingly. "Y/n here is as pretty and young as she looks. Of course she doesn't know who you are!" she snickers.

"Nevermind" he says ashamed. "Jesus, you sound more like a hater than a friend"

"It's all right!" you chime in, nervously. You're afraid you've fucked it up. "I can investigate you- oh, that sounded bad. Investigate your career, um. You know what I mean! It's kind of what I do, after all. Part, at least, of what I do"

"It's alright, doll" you could get used to this. A gravely rich voice calling you such. "No need to be nervous"

He looks thoughtful for a moment, and you start to fear your yapping or in general, the strange appeal or whatever magical reason he was interested in you, has vanished. As soon as he gets out of the store with you, fear creeps in. Is it all over? Was this a brief glimpse of what dating life is like? A chance you'll probably never get again. But then, he says:

"Can I have your number?"

"Sure!" you sound kind of glad about it, "do I put it in your phone?"

Eddie hands it to you, smiling when he sees what you've saved yourself as:

Y/n 👻🍫

"There you go" you say as you exit, and Mrs. Chen keeps looking through the glass. You hastily dismiss her, but you know she'll soon gush to your mother about it. "Thanks for everything"

"No problem" he winks. Oh, the nerve of this guys. "See you around, y/n. Good luck on those finals!"

You have to shut your demons for a while. Meet-cute-at-the-convenience-store guy seems to be truthful about it!

You'll just have to see how long it lasts.

Flash forward: it's lasted! Now Eddie is your boyfriend. Four months dating and you feel in heaven!

Yes, a bit of your demons have come out here and there, but Brock's been there to kiss away every single one of them. Venom too! Ah, yes: the alien symbiote that lives inside of your lover. Even he has taken to your liking! Being honest, meeting him did scare you at first; kind of a mind-blowing confession to make on your 1 month anniversary, but you soon learned surprises are a common thing if you're dating the so-called Lethal Protector. You both share chocolate filled afternoons when he takes over Eddie (he hates sharing yet let's his pal have some fun with you), watching a movie or two with his silly little comments on the background, sharing his alien-like knowledge with you (whatever that means).

So yeah, it's been a few months and you couldn't be happier!

Today, Eddie's supposed to pick you up from college. He has done so the last couple of weeks, and if you've seen people whispering behind your back, you've been smart to ignore it.

But today as you walk to your usual spot where Eddie picks you up, you hear the comments of two of your classmates (you recognize) from a class you take:

"They haven't broken up yet?" the other one laughs.

"She must've used some kind of dark magic, because there is no way that guy is with her"

"Yeah" the first one agrees, "y/n's weird just like that"

They aren't being discreet, and you start to believe they're choosing to do so, because next thing you know, they're talking about your body.

You begin growing self-conscious of your appearance: a sweater and a skirt, something Eddie loves seeing on you (he says it's easier to do stuff) but you can't help and start to feel insecure about the skin of your bare legs. You tense, tighlty grabbing the exposed flesh between your fingers, the tissue doughty under your hands. You hate yourself more often than you love, and it's harder to remember the positive side when you hear your thoughts loud in the mouth of other people.

The sound of a roaring engine cuts through the cloud of negative thoughts.

"Y/n!" you love it when he calls your name, enjoying every second of it. But now you just want to get out of here.

"Hey" you get closer to him, hoping on the bike. It's a big distance between you and the two classmates, but you still hear them say:

"It looks like a strong bike" pause. You feel sick, "I hope it won't break"

Eddie feels your arms cage him a little stronger than usual. "Hey, is everything okay?"

You hide your face against his back. "Please, let's go"

"You aren't going to say goodbye to your friends?" he looks back at the girls waving in your direction.

"Let's go!" you plead, rougher. He then realizes the girl are waving at him and not you, a flirty wink his way proving it.

Oh. He gets it now.

"Don't worry, doll" he caresses your hand. "I got you"

Then he speeds, not before making sure he leaves the girls who were harrasing you inside a cloud of smoke that makes them cough. Eddie looks back to see if you're laughing, but your face remains against his back, and he can feel his shirt start to damp.

Shit.

When you arrive at his apartment, your pace is fast, rushing through the stairs and entering his place first.

"Doll?" he calls out, but you don't answer. All he hears is small sobs, and his heart breaks. He finds you lying on his bed, your face hidden against his pillows. "Look at me, y/n"

"Y-you don't get it" you hiccup.

"I think I do" he purses his thick lips, "those girls were jealous of you"

"Jealous of me? Sure" you let out a dry laugh. "If anything, I'm jealous of them!"

He scoots closer, a hand resting on your back. "And why would you be jealous of two girls like that?"

"Because they're pretty" you confess, voice small. "Their bodies are perfect; doesn't matter if they're ugly on the inside. People mostly care about the outside"

"I see what's hapenning" he forces you to look at him, and your puffy red eyes make his chest pang. He needs you to know how beautiful you are, no matter how much you try to deny it. "You think you're ugly"

"Eddie!" you whisper-shout, alarmed.

"Hey! I never said that was my opinion" he says, tone defensive and arms raising up. "That is yours. A wrong one, by the way"

You scoff. "Yeah? why?"

You know Eddie loves you, but after today, you need to hear it.

"Because I don't like ugly people" you laugh in disbelief, "it's true! I love you because you're beautiful, in and out"

"Bullshit" you challenge, tears welling up again. You may start to see the light, but your demons come back to haunt you in whispered dark thoughts.

"You want me to list all the reasons I love you?"

You sniff. "Are there any? I mean, why are you with me, Eddie?"

No. He absolutely won't let you speak about yourself like that.

He grabs your face gently, wiping some tears. "I love you because you're the smartest, funniest, driven, most caring woman I've met, inside the hottest body of all times!" he squishes your side, and you laugh because of the ticklish sensations. "Haven't I shown you so? How much I worship it in bed? You've got to be kidding me! I wouldn't know what else to do or say to convince you of just how perfect you are!"

"Eddie..." you whimper his name out, lunging forward and enveloping him on a hug. He brushes you hair, softly.

"Listen, y/n. I understand your feelings, but it's unfair how bad you see and treat yourself. You are beautiful, no matter what anyone else says, and that's the point: beauty starts from within. It doesn't matter how many times I tell you so, because if you don't believe in yourself, it's all in vain"

"I'm sorry" you hug him tightly, "I wish I liked me more; to see me how you see me. Thanks for having patience"

"No need to thank me for anything" he assures, kissing your temple. "I don't get tired of telling you how much I like your eyes, a delicious invitation to taste you. Or your peachy skin, rosy and soft in all the perfect places. Or your chocolate heart: warm and sweet. You're bascially a ticket to heaven"

"Thanks" you whisper again, much more calm. "I love you, Eddie"

"Well, I love you too, doll"

"I love you too!" It's Venom, who appears next to Eddie. "You're the prettiest human girl I've ever met!"

"If it makes you feel better, I can eat those sluts" he offers softly, and you pet him while laughing, although Eddie rolls his eyes. The nerve of this guy.

"Seriously? Read the room budy!"

cr: divider @kodaswrld / gif (unknown pinterest source)

[ecargmura]

Dandadan Episode 9 Review - Aliens And Nessie

TW: Nudity

I think ‘unhinged’ is the best word to describe Dandadan, especially with this episode. It’s a very wacky episode that involves a lot of Okarun butt shots, a cluster of enemies, and a lot of yellow and green filters (The green filter hurts my eyes). It’s crazy how we went from heartwrenching backstories to chaotic alien fights in a span of two episodes.

It was cool seeing what Aira can do now that she can transform using Acrobatic Silky’s powers. She’s flexible and agile. I love how she moves in battle and that she also uses her hair as a weapon in addition to her added flexibility. However, I do think that her biggest weakness is the fact that she lacks fighting experience. Okarun and Momo are able to fight easily as they’ve got so much experience, but this is Aira’s first fight against a paranormal creature, so she does get clobbered often. However, her debut fight is against multiple enemies rather than a singular one like before.

The fight with the enemies is very crazy. The Serpoians felt as if they got stronger. However, since they have a weakness in that they cannot fight when using their powers, that’s where their new hire, Mantis Shrimp (Is that his name?) comes in. I do like that the fights are a mix between serious and comedic without being too out of place and off-putting. The Mantis Shrimp alien is silly, but his punches are brutal. It was interesting that he also had a more grotesque form underneath, like the Serpoians. Though, can someone help me answer this question I have? During the part where Nessie arrived, did the Serpoian and Mantis Shrimp alien fuse with Nessie? If so, then Nessie was heavily underutilized as a villain as it got no character other than being a creature that fires green laser beams.

Now that the group is a trio, their dynamics became a lot more livelier and funnier. Momo and Aira have an antagonistic, vitriolic relationship with each other with the two getting on each other’s nerves. While Momo and Okarun bicker, they have a solid trust towards each other. I love how these two communicate in that Okarun wants to talk to Momo about the misunderstanding with Aira. These two trust each other to the point that Momo can use Okarun as some sort of jet ski. Okarun isn’t that tall, yet he can still have two girls around the same height on him.

I honestly love the animation for this fight, especially towards the end where the aliens fuse with Nessie. The way the camera angle rotates and spins was really good. I also liked the animation at the final bit where the gang return to the real world but naked. The way they ran is reminiscent of the floppy animated style from the first episode, which amps up the comedic aspect of it. Aira running like a Titan in Attack on Titan was hilarious (also hilarious given that her VA Ayane Sakura and Okarun’s VA Natsuki Hanae were in that show as Gaby and Falco)

Speaking of which, I remember that there was an outrage regarding the final scene because one Anituber posted a picture of the scene in the manga when the anime first aired with the intent of being anticipated for how people, fans and anime-only viewers, would few the scene, but it went viral for negative reasons, which led to the anituber getting doxxed. I didn’t think too much of that panel at the time since I’m already used to crude shounen humor, but doxxing someone over manga panels is never an okay thing to do. When I looked at this scene in the anime, I just thought “very shounen humor” and that was it. I think the outrage was mainly due to how sensitive people are towards media these days. All I can say on the matter is that I hope that humanity can change back into the days where people could differentiate fiction from reality.

Since there are twelve episodes, this means that there are three more episodes left. I wonder what’s left for the rest of the story. I think the red-haired boy has yet to show up, so I assume the last few episodes will revolve around him? I’m also curious about the event so fate next episode as a cow gets abducted by a UFO. What are your thoughts on the episode as a whole?

[joannerowling]

holy shit i never realised O, Children is a the 90s song. i just would think oh, the song from DH, cool 🙃. also, it's probably the only instance in hp in general where they listen to muggle music. I don't remember anywhere else.

in your opinion, what song would be more uh authentic so to say. that of course if there's any scenes with actual irl muggle songs.

Excellent question anon, thank you very much for asking. I've actually thought about this topic a lot!

So, i definitely don't think there's any need for actual irl muggle songs to show up in Harry Potter, especially cool ones. The point of HP is that the muggle world sucks, so everything cool = wizard. Not necessarily because wizards would never listen to muggle music (they probably do at least a little since it's canon that many wizards enjoy television; televisions and cars are the two exceptions to the general "whatever muggles make, wizards either don't need or can do better with magic" rule). It's about preserving the tone and general escapist nature of the books – AND the satire. Harry Potter is a satire. This is super important. It has to be escapist first in order to let the satirical elements hit hard.

We don't want to hear David Bowie play over Hogwarts because it's immersion breaking; but if we make up a fictional musician who sounds and looks conceptually similar to Bowie, except with a wizard guitar and wizard themed songs, now we're getting somewhere.

Once we've figured that out, we can imagine all the magic bands and music we want. We don't have to think too hard about how exactly the wizards get inspired by the muggles to produce their music, that is not the point. Our focus should be to find iconic (preferably British) musicians/bands, and make the wizard version, whether hommage, parody, or both. And give them a cool name. The Weird Sisters is a genius band name because it combines a Shakespeare reference with a glam rock reference (to Twisted Sister).

But is this enough? No!

Remember that even when they modernise, wizards like to stick to their medieval aesthetic: the Weird Sisters have two guitar players, a bass, drums… and also a lute player, a bagpipes player and a violin player.

Also, it has to be funny. The average rock band has 4 or 5 members. The Weird Sisters? 8 members. Eight dudes in drag playing a bizarre mix of modern and ancient instruments is immediately more chaotic than just David Bowie as a wizard. Think about the real life musician (or sort of musician) you're trying to emulate, is she a Diva? Can't arrive on stage any other way than or a winged-horse's back. Crooner? Voice so charming it puts people under a literal spell. Rapper feuds? Curses battles.

"What about electronic instruments? do wizards play synth?" NO THEY DON'T because we won't let them. Think about it, what is funnier: a wizard playing a synth, OR, a wizard playing this on his own:

Wizard things are not practical. In real life a synth is useful because it takes less space and costs less than a piano and can emulate a full orchestra. Okay well wizards can just make their instruments magically play together and if their living space isn't big enough they can simply make it bigger on the inside. REJECT SIMPLICITY, EMBRACE UNECESSARY COMPLEXITY AND CHAOS.

"What is the opposite of what wizards would listen to?" Bardcore. Bardcore is about taking real modern songs and giving them a "medieval" cover, which can be very funny but creatively speaking is poor (= we're not inventing anything new), so this is NOT what we want. We want original songs that might sound similar to real songs and could possibly allude to specific singers / bands but ultimately are their own thing.

Thank you, goodbye, and HBO hire me <3

[thedissociatives]

hey!! 4, 5, 16, 17, 18 for film asks <3

tysm lyra, these were so fun to answer even if my browser crashed like three times trying to answer them lol 🫶

4: name a movie you put on to laugh to

even after all these years, white chicks still has me cracking up. it's actually one of the few films that's gotten funnier over time, but maybe that's because a fair bit of it went over ten-year-old-me's head. honourable mention to the death of stalin though, don't know who thought to make a comedy out of that subject matter but i'm glad they did

5: name a movie you put on to cry to

not to be all "oh i don't cry to films" but i usually don't after the first time watching something. that being said, dead poets society still gets me dangerously close even if i've practically memorised the script by now

16: favourite book to movie adaptation ?

i've seen so many, mainly ones that don't quite live up to the books (the goldfinch perhaps being the worst offender here), but i think the best one i've seen (and by extension my personal favourite) is the godfather. i did go out and get the book last summer, and it's now heavily battered and annotated, and the film is definitely one of the most faithful to its source material i've seen. also all the actors were perfectly cast and did amazing jobs, which obviously massively helps when making a film lmao

17: favourite actress

honestly once i realised she's american, renée zellweger shot up to the top of the list so fast. the fact that i was fully convinced for years that she was born and raised in england because of bridget jones says enough, she's more british than me in those films and i've lived around these islands my whole life 😭 also the way she makes bridget feel like a real person is impressive, most films i still feel like i'm watching scripted characters but that's never the case with her

18: favourite actor

probably al pacino, which is really basic i know, but it's a basic answer for a reason. basically the same reasoning as zellweger, he brings characters to life in a way that not many others seem to do as convincingly. and to have that longevity as well, it's just extra impressive. the fact that so many of his films from decades ago still remain highly culturally relevant is a testament to how talented he is— i mean, come on, how many people are there out there who haven't watched the godfather or scarface, let alone other films like dog day afternoon or heat ?

[calisources]

CW'S   SUPERNATURAL   SENTENCE   QUOTES.   all   sentences   have   been   taken   from   mostly   the   kripke   era   (season   1   to   season   5)   of   erik   kripke's   supernatural,   mainly   season   four   and   five.   change   names/pronouns/locations   as   you   see   fit.

SEASON FOUR .

If you're going to shoot, shoot! Don't talk!

Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of Hell but no one can do that.

So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and the X-Files are real?

It was beauty that killed the beast.

Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but sooner or later, they're gonna be back.

I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought 'I'm going to build me a nun factory.' Well, it was the right idea... wrong angel.

Tell me something. Where's God in all this?

I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.

Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.

If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

You don't know me. You never did, and you never will.

Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the Apocalypse.

I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.

Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe.

You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. 

I mean I worshipped the guy, y'know: I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.

Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real.

He's a Winchester. He's already cursed.

It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness.

Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.

 I'm not a hero, I'm not strong enough.

 I know our fate rests with you.

I couldn't break him, pulled out all the stops, but John, he was made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. 

You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap.

Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the Veil and you find the Reaper. how are you going to save it?

SEASON FIVE.

The only thing you're going to see out there is Michael killing your brother.

I'm gonna rip you apart from the inside out. Do you understand me?

No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?

You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. 

Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.

Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite.

Well, I got to ask. How old are you?

As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless - at the end, I'll reap him, too.

That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.

You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

World's gonna end, seems silly to get all precious over one little soul.

Why? Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now?

You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?!?

No one gives us the right. We take it.

You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes. 

I mean, whatever happened to personal loyalty? How long have I worked for these guys. Five millennia? Six?

 It's funnier in Enochian.

 This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds. 

And you think you know better than my father? The one unimportant little man. What makes you think you get to choose?

 It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes.

Think of the million random choices that you make--and yet how each and everyone of them brings you closer to your destiny.

As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth. One brother has to kill the other.

Well, call it personal experience. Nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family.

You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything.

Now, tell me... does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right? 

 Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it?

Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish.

[spectatingspectacle]

What is.......................

Your lore? /silly

(I meant about the whole library spectator deity thing it looks and sounds really cool, mb gang <3)

(I thought it'd be funnier to be vague about it xD)

Ah! My Library!!!!! Okay! So! I've always had a VERY wild imagination! Ever since my little brain could form a thought it's been other-worldly.

My library is basically a look into my head! A collection of every piece of media my brain has latched onto!

I'm a deity because me (and my dad) think they're cool, that's literally why I got into CotL! More specifically I'm a spectating deity because I consider myself as someone who hangs back and watches more than participates.

So! Putting two and two together I spectate the world around me and fun little universes full of fluff, angst, comfort, hurt, happiness, sadness, rage, you name it!

the books in my library are two things, one, fanfiction, two, little portals into it's respective world. It is VERY important they stay in order, otherwise one character from say, Psychonauts, will end up in the Amazing Digital Circus and a character from A Hat In Time will end up in She-R and the Princesses of Power and it's a whole mess to clean up! Yeah the shenanigans are fun, but the cleeaannnuuupppppp...

Tumblr's the first door I have opened into my Library, and I am so happy people are stopping by! The only door I have leads right into the CotL, since I'm obsessing over it right now and it has literally helped me so much in some of my darkest moments.

Maybe doors to the other sections will open up when I'm comfortable enough soon, but for now you can enjoy the CotL section ^_^

Thanks for asking Joff! I'm always happy to infodump it's just the anxietyyyyyy :3

[sleepydragoninc]

I love it when random wanna be "professional" gardeners to mansplain my job to me. Like hello, you wouldn't be able to name a single herbaceous plant if it slapped you in the face, stfu, and leave me to my weeding. It's even funnier when it's people who think that chemical control is the best thing ever, or the people who think that leaving grass to grow to knee height makes a place no longer ecologically sterile.

Because no, it doesn't.

And. No, I can't just spray in the beds, it'll kill the roses.

No I can't just leave it, it'll kill the roses.

No, I can't just out more woodchip over the weeds, they'll grow through, and it'll kill the roses.

No, I can't plant new roses in those empty beds because they're being treated for rose sickness, and it'll kill the roses.

No, I can't just leave it to natures delight, as much as I'd like to, because it's a formal garden and it'll kill the roses.

You see the pattern here?

They're few and far between, but it makes me laugh when it happens, especially when its something about the rose beds. I have spent about 90% of my time working here on these rose beds. Trust me, I've thought of everything, including just ripping them out and putting other plants in the beds because yeah I hate roses. They're prickly bastards that just drop dead if you so much as poke them too hard, and more than half the beds have rose sickness and we don't have the money to replace the soil to fix it.

[trudemaethien]

for the prompts:

As you know, I have not read the RepComm books, so I have no idea how cursed this is. I could have rolled again but I thought it was funnier this way.

Ship: Mereel/Atin

Words: freighter, root, biography

I guffawed when I saw this pairing. idk if I’m going to be able to work those words into whatever their deal is but I’m definitely writing Them because it is indeed cursed and funny. (spoiler alert i didn’t manage it, i hope you’ll forgive me shdjskf lol)

Kal’buir has a new set of favorites, scrappy survivors cobbled together from the orphans of the clusterfuck bloodbath premiere of the war that was Geonosis. Three of them had already been in Sergeant Skirata’s commando cohort, so Mereel knows them vaguely.

One had not.

The Arcee Vau turned over to them calls himself Atin, a properly mando name, not to be confused with Mereel’s own brother A’denn. How does anyone confuse stubbornness with wrath, anyway?

Mereel knows better than to get invested in the lives of ordinary clones. They’re a chit a unit, these days—maybe two chits for a commando, value doubled when the quantity halved on day one. It doesn’t matter; Mereel and his brothers weren’t bought so cheaply, and he has higher things to concern himself with than interpersonal affairs.

Well, Ordo liked Qibbu’s rutian twi’lek barmaid, but instead of having the decency to like him back she’s taken a fancy to —you guessed it— Atin. Scarred, sullen Atin seems tacitly pleased with her attentions, and Ordo’s not kicking up a fuss, just sulking, yet Mereel cares more about the whole thing than he can justify as being on Ordo’s behalf. It’s not like the girl’s his type either.

Seems he hasn’t been subtle enough in watching.

“Something on my face?” Atin challenges him coolly, daring him to state the obvious. He’s stern and unamused, and that just makes it more enticing to fuck with him.

“Yeah, just a little”—Mereel reaches up and scrubs his thumb over the corner of Atin’s mouth, unscarred side—“shit, maybe nerf-stew, you got there.”

People are watching them. Beneath his deliberately calm and neutral face, Atin’s eyes have a gleam like he wants to bite Mereel’s fingers off but is choosing not to resort to violence out of some misguided notion it makes him the bigger man.

Mereel smirks at him and scrapes his thumb clean with his teeth, sitting back. Attention lapses from them at the lack of escalation, but Mereel can tell it’s not the end of it, just the beginning. Atin has the expression of a man contemplating the manner of his retribution, and Mereel cannot wait to see how he does it.

No question if he will. Would any such atin’la verd ever take it lying down?

The anticipation will satisfy until his revenge is served. Delicious.

fellas is it gay to touch another man’s lips and then put your fingers in your mouth… 🤭

(mereel just has to push all the buttons to see what they do. atin only looks nonreactive)

What Does This Do? 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51600454

[eruditic-akechi]

here you go!!!!

I've had this in my inbox for so long because I've been so normal about this HSKSODKENDJSISHV I've read Nicole's so many times it's unfortunate

> implies that she can read people's thoughts, which I don't think has been alluded to before besides her just speaking into people's minds. I have a thing for telepaths... Also does she know how suspicious it is to randomly say she's never dug around in someone's head? I'd be more suspicious of that over her not saying anything.... Babes...

> she just like me fr fr... Bad penmanship... The yapperrrrrr... Headache gang... Presumably a fast talker...

> I love that Alice had to tell her to slow tf down. It makes her appearances even funnier because imagine her trying so hard to speak steadily and mysteriously when she just wants to yap😭 especially in Sumeru because she was really putting on a show. At least in Fontaine she let herself have more personality 🫶 (I think about "Ah, so you've caught on." FAR TOO MANY TIMES SHE SOUNDS SO WHJQLWPQPQPOSSKSJSHJSJSSHJAJAJAA IM SO ILL)

> "There's not much to worry about here with you — so why don't you watch over me instead?" IDK WHY THIS MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL IM LITERALLY CRYING WHAT IF THATS THE LAST THING I EVER READ BRUH Nicole..............

> I think the gods knew better than to have a Rhine note because I think that would've put me in the hospital

> ALSO IVANOVNA (presumably? Because that's a really Snezhnayan name and seeing how her successors dress,,, I'm taking a leap of faith here babes) BEIBG THE ONLY ONE WITH ANYTHING BLACKED OUT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY "Alice was too fucking good to you" also asking ALICE for help broooo ur cooked... Also her canonically calling barbeloth Barbie 🥺

> THE SIGNED COPIES BEING CANON UGH AWH BWAWH

> Alice getting into beef with children 😭 Andersdotter's English major energy rubbed off on her in that instance.

> Now I'm just thinking about Alice taking a worldwide trip every 50 years or so just to rewrite her travel guides

> Barbeloth missing Andersdotter canon oh my gdo... Also tf do u mean idk how much time I got left???!!??!.!?!? Girl u were SPAWNED old! Also love that she had to be like I miss you but not enough to reunite yet

> being "interesting" is Alice's prerequisite for joining the hexenzirkel... The quotes coming from the token straight must mean Alice thought you were attractive right?! RIGHT][

[thewingedwolf]

okay i’ve watched a few seasons now, and i’m about to move into pre-new era seasons so-

that do or die twist is so unserious omg

i know big brother has gaslighting, spying, & manipulating too but these people just straight up going through each other’s bags is so funny, they all talk about lifelong friendships but they also don’t give a FUCK lmao

(none of these are in any order, just top 4)

faves in 41: shan, xander, erika, evvie

faves in 42: maryanne, romeo, lindsay, drea

faves in 43: i did not watch; i’ve seen the discourse around this season and i simply Don’t want to feel pain like this so i put it off for now

faves in 44: i did not watch; like purely because of the nonsense going on with carson aksjdjd i might genuinely go back to this one later

faves in 45: kaleb, kellie, jake. why did i only list 3 people? bc genuinely it’s a four way tie between dee katurah julie and emily, like this was an amazing season for women. also, the hottest season.

i think it says a lot about me that one of my favorites three seasons in a row was a zero vote finalist aksjdjd personally i think this means one of my faves this season is gonna be one too, i’m guessing venus or q

shan making dx hum her betrayal theme song on the challenge usa is so much funnier with context bc she LITERALLY hummed it out loud while thinking about how she’d have to betray one of her besties aksjsj the nerve of that woman is insane i love her

the way i got so excited for deshawn to make a comeback in that lil chicken & veggies alliance only for him to truth kamikaze his way through that tribal is just…..i actually had to walk away from my tv my secondhand embarrassment was so bad

i think it’s a lot different when you know who is going to win because i went in paying attention to erika and really vibing with her but i get the impression no one was expecting her to win the way that a lot of people thought maryanne would win over everyone else in f5.

that said, i think 41 was my favorite bc i love when people are smart but also canNot keep their mouths shut, these people were so gossipy and got soooo heated with each other, but i didn’t hate anyone, i was rooting for everyone, like i was riveted i had fun.

i literally keep replaying that “do i believe that? no i do not,” moment between naseer and heather on loop in my mind it was soooo funny aksjsjs

xander scruffy looking…….i would fold so fast i’m afraid 😔

that said, i had to walk away during some of his answers for the final tribal because he is just so sweet but he is SO unaware i was HURTING even with evvie and ricard clearing trying to lead him to an answer, it took like four false starts for him to name a good social read and everyone to nod and go “oh yeah that one makes sense”

drea’s comedic timing is unparalleled. i have never laughed that loud at a reality tv contestant, her voice is just so expressive. yes i’m talking about the potato line she is funnier than every comedian on netflix to me

that season had me screaming every episode it was really fun to watch and maryanne just like. sparkles. she’s enchanting.

i hope jonathan [redacted for legal reasons]

austin is so sexy to me because he really just laid down and died so his super hot girlfriend could win a million dollars, that’s the perfect man

actually i’d like to say it again. hottest cast. austin & dee was just pretty on pretty. jake is adorable. kellie. katurah. emily. kaleb. hottest cast by far.

i’ve been listening to know it alls & why blank lost just to get a feel for strategy and i’m excited to get through older seasons to see gameplay without so many twists because yeah there’s like a LOT of them esp in 41. it’s funny listening to them all bitch about this constantly tho. also interested in eventually watching a season without fire making - the next group i’m looking at are david v goliath, heroes v healers v hustlers, millennials v gen x, and gamechangers. might flip around a bit before i land on one tho.

[captaincassianandorr]

Australian Survivor: Titans V.s Rebels Ep 3

-Middle Aged Mafia is a cool name for an alliance honestly. -Also Peta tattoos are not that intimidating really. Between her and Kelli my nerves are grating -Omg Kirby I love her. "This is not Love Island. This is Survivor." -I'm loving the tribe dynamics and how normally what would happen is the young people would band together and vote out the weak and on both tribes, it looks like the older people are banning together (banning? banding?) instead. Which I love to see. -Peta "Come into the majority," to Kirby. Peta...you are FOUR out of TWELVE. 4/12 is not a majority. -Purple edits do make me sad. We've not heard ANYTHING from Scott, Aileen or Kitty really. I mean I know Kitty is there but I don't know anything about her REWARD -Viola is a beast. I love watching her in competitions. -Battle of the Speedos here with Nathan and Alex. Nathan was so quick there. -I like Feras more than I thought I would. I thought I would hate him from the bios/videos lol. -Mark was so quick there at the reward. -Lol Nathan saying it's his charm that's helping him in the game. Haven't they written your name down twice? -And Peta finds an idol. -Immunity challenge time. -AND we actually hear from Garrick! He speaks! And Aileen speaks! (briefly no confessionals yet) -Rebels trying to throw the challenge but doing horribly at pretending they are not. It's not usually a very smart idea to throw a challenge. -Jaden just went through the bag like it was nothing. -And the Titans still almost losing even though Rebels are trying to throw the challenge lol. -Tobias also doing awfully on the slingshot challenge. -Kirby <3 Doing what a guy couldn't and shooting the stacks of blocks down easily. -LOL this is so chaotic and funny with Rebels trying to throw it but Titans possibly ruining their plan. But the Titans win immunity for the first time. -"We threw the challenge," Yes yes you did Alex, but you almost won it anyway which made it funnier. -Trying to get rid of Kelli does make sense to me in a way. The way she talks about the guys is just a bit ick. -Garrick is definitely suspicious about the throwing of the challenge saying that he and Feras were the only ones pushing the cart. And he got a confessional! -Loving this blindsides. Actually all 3 of these episodes vote outs have been fantastic. -Kelli is not the best actor in the world. Had to agree with Garrick when he said she's hopeless mate lol. But on the other hand I'd usually prefer chaotic/hopeless players over boring ones. -Peta asking if she's missing something. Yes, you are missing something. 4 is still not a majority. -I'm loving Kirby's gameplay here. Sneaky and puts her in good position in both the cuddle crew/the other alliance. -Kelli's bad acting at the tribal omg. no one is safe. I hope Peta doesn't play her idol -Feras is interesting me. He's so chaotic and thriving in the chaos. -Time to vote. -HEHEHEHE a blindside coming. I love a blindside. -Raymond is so awkward "I hope it's not me going home." Well I did see a few votes for him in the votes -The editing of these vote readouts is beautiful because it makes it seem like Kelly/Raymond are going home and then Peta gets votes lol. -And then the cuddle club was 3/4 (learn what a majority is guys) -Oooh the preview for next episode ahhh how can I wait until Sunday for that? WHAT IS IN THAT BOX? I want to know! Never seen that before on Survivor. -And Peta saying the "minority" rose up to take control lol Peta no you were in a minority but thought you were in a majority.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

I never expect anyone to read lol. And again when saying "you" I'm referring to Joe Goldberg fans/haters.

I'm seriously 🤣😂🤣😂 at the freak out over a hilarious video. What wasn't funny? Maybe he doesn't care about bots? Maybe he is danish and doesn't care about fame? Maybe he was mocking haters bc he said thirst trap? That'd be even funnier than just being goofy. Lol. Edited: it's not like he doesn't understand his numbers or what they mean. He's a smart guy, he was thinking accounting(? Not 100% sure) before his career took off.

He's worked a lot.....not sure why some people are acting like if he's not in Los Angeles making trash (imo 90% is trash) films he's not working.

Quotes I'm snatching lol. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but girl be so for real right now. 🤣😂

"by blocking one ask, two of them disappeared from my inbox"

I bet if you did that to just one of the opinions you do like, 90% of your asks would disappear (until their next vpn lol). There are, by how they write, only about 3-5 legit people there (so many empty accounts). Sometimes it's easier to tell which is wHich. Lol I say 3-5 bc a couple of these accounts sometimes forgets which writing style/persona goes with with which account. Especially obvious when he posts his GF and they freak out.. 🤣😂🤣😂 5 posts anon, one post with name wait an hour repeat (switch accounts and repeat). Lol

Joe Goldberg fake artist chick sit down somewhere. Lol

As for the content, I want to know what was said. why didn't they post it? They have zero problems posting the most vile and inaccurate things about someone they don't know.  Why censorship for you but not celebs? You've posted links to fan instagram accounts and let people mock them for enjoying a musical, talked about fans repeatedly, some by real names, only recently you have a problem with this behavior bc it was aimed at you/haters. 🤣😂🤣😂

"Putting him down for his height, his singing, and of course his lack of roles and now his followers. The narcissist has to put down her victim for control."

First: she never put him down for his height, weight or voice. You are nothing but a jealous immature liar. And only YOU have put him down over "lack of roles" bc I and others have noted how much he is working. Acting, voice roles, charities and his watch company. He says he's privileged, maybe bc he is. 😊 he told these jokes, he was laughing at his stories. She saw him across a room and thought, not so big. A small moment in time, something to laugh at.  but to haters that call him whipped/collared/stupid/lazy etc or lacking in "manliness" now is new it was all too much. He's abused they cry, while being abusive themselves. 🤣😂

Lol but you know about 2 jokes. Compare and contrast. 2 jokes vs over 5000 hate posts about him and his GF.

Secondly: You call her a famewhore" for over 2 years, now this? You really don't make sense.

The only person "that wants control" is YOU.  You are projecting yourself literally onto her.  I keep talking about frequency of insults that come from haters lol. YOU want him punished, and the gleeful posting of his follower loss every week illustrates this. You are spiralling bc your fantasy land got blown up 3 years ago and you're still mad.  It's a bit twisted.

Last quote for today!

"Probably because people on here were on a unfollowing spree a while ago and saying that they were still actively gonna look at his account. But of course I wouldn’t expect people to be able to keep up with all the different things they’ve posted under different anonymous accounts. Unless this is another “new fan”?"

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 spot on!!!  I'm glad more than a few have figured this out.

Also sidenote: I love being a fan, it's fun, I enjoy seeing people happy. Like I too love Taylor Swift and I'm so glad she got her music back! It should never have not been hers to begin with. Imo.

But precisely what deeper connection can you have with someone you don't really know? I admire them sure, love their tenacity, clothes, makeup, movies, characters, music etc.

But I don't need a deeper connection, why would I want one? You can be inspired and admiring, but we don't know them lol. How "deep" of a connection can there be? None really. But imo that's cool. And there's zero need for me to be validated in any way. This is, also, why I don't get haters or the people so obsessed that they faked a relationship and then tried to sell it on tumblr of all places.

I don't think anyone should stifle themselves or let fans control what they post. Why? Bc it is THEIR LIFE not any of ours. There's a reason why he liked that comment about his toxic fans.

[frostedturquoise]

I don't know, maybe its just funny because it's been like idk 10 going on 15 years and i had the thought while cooking noodles today that ended up continuing into my 'have a coffee and try to find this missing pair of pliers for a separate (non bead) craft project (spoiler, i did not, in fact, find them. so it is now a problem for later me) In my misery of having to take antibiotics that are easily almost half the size of the whole first half of my pinkie finger on an heavily inflamed throat and anything i hear sounding both half muffled and doubled over, i gave up on trying to catch up on podcasts because it was disorientating so here have this ramble instead, that is fuelled by three layers of sick, and just plain boredom and lamenting my inability to just lay outside and suffer without being told 'your sick nobody wants your germs; because i alas live in a unit complex where the only 'yard' is a communal space and i am yearning for an open space with good active airflow, preferably heavily forested. Under a read more because none of you definitely asked for this ramble lmao. It might get pretty long and i remembered this time.

Anyway the point:

It is so so fucking hilarious but sad that in all that time up until my brothers ex girlfriend started yammering the fuck on about a gatcha game and its fucking companion anime. FUCKING she sole it better than the friend group around 2010-2018ish did. the whole time. She had better opinions of characters that i had heard nothing good about the the whole time and its funny i only looked at shit because i wanted a better flow of conversation than asking her sixty thousand things because most of the names she was rattling off i had no fucking CLUE about. Sure being gatcha only with no context her thinking Archer Emiya was a dick is fair, less context for why but infinitely funnier because he is less of a dick than the version the Extended Friend Group (of like twelve people minimum) used to rag on about. In all honesty im glad i was more distracted by the whole 'now where the fuck have i heard about that series from i cant place it' while knowing jack all but somehow coming across as knowing enough that people just never clocked on that i was the only person there who had like, never actually touched any of the content just knew a handful of things in passing. Just-- man it would of been so fucking funny if everyone was honest and none of them took the 'sheeple route' as they would of put it so they didn't rock the boat with an minority opinion.

I don't know shit outside scraps outside anything but ONE portion of the anime of the OG game plus scraps about the VN itself and the rest is random piecemeal outside wiki dives to understand what the fuck Gatcha Girl(tm) was saying so i can asked more targeted question than like asking a million of them and wasting time. And yet shit they thought was flat or they didn't get was as subtle as taking a solid wooden cricket bat to the nose. I got far more depth than i was expecting and maybe its good that t came waaayyy later so i didn't wind up roasting upwards of 9-12 people by accident for having piss poor analysis skills. But, in saying that, it would be unfair because i was That Guy/Girl/Whatever whose shit in 2012-13 was held together by two paperclips and a rubber band due to having jack all free time because i either couldnt sleep but Had To Be Considerate Of A Whole Dormitory(tm) and couldnt even fuck off for midnight walks to waste time only for m weekends to be mostly spent asleep for two years because it was the only time i could catch a break. (long story short being unable to stay weekends i had to redo ALLLL my classes on year one because my main classes were OFF site so grade 11 was a total disaster because despite asking nobody told me i had elected for like. the worst classes for what i wanted. So outside The Crew adjacent classes it was boring as fucking sin and i was sick of getting mixed results depending on what class i chose well beneath the original ones i had pencilled in and or ones i took that were useful to pad time. or that had to no excuses.)

So i find it funny that i came across as just? A bit moody if well adjusted and collected despite 80% of my time being 5.4 seconds and an single errant Bad Stimuli away from an vibrating gif thats captions are just 'AAAAAAAAAa' But that said i may of got too good at underplaying shit because nobody liked my flat honesty so neutral dismissive answers it was because 'eh things are okay (my lived definition of 'okay' at the the time was three steps away from abysmal given life circumstances)' or 'could be worse' because i spent almost my whole life being dismissed because 'other people have it worse' or fifty other nonsense dismissive answers. So it was easier to internalise everything and say nothing at all because nobody likes it when you ACTUALLY OPENLY ACKNOWLEDGE THINGS.

So needless to say a lot of the 'bad flat boring characterisations' were as obvious as a bat to the face. Like it takes one 'liar via omission' who just keeps i trucking on despite having like 2345678 internalised issues and fucky wucky guilt over could have beens to spot another from a mile away. But honestly that 'subtext' was so fucking obvious even in OG shit im floored that this shit has been under a paper thin layer of the surface of my internet circles since fucking forever and i spent like eight years with an overaching friend group who talked about it WAY more than i thought. (even if 25% of the time it was memes lmafo) and im only finding out recently??

So yeah if at the time i would of been asked 'OH what makes YOU say that?' due to being the Sole Opinioner (out loud anyway) being grilled about that one would of been so fucking 'shishitshtshit' because id have to try to blatantly skirt the real reason why it was super mega obvious outside obvious in your face shit by mistake. Very much the kind of character you 'get' in ways you wish you didn't that makes you want to beat them up with a frying pan while telling them to get over themselves. But man, given his situation i wouldn't blame him for going of the rails since i wouldn't expect someone like that to react rationally.

Not sure if it was he meme exposure brainrot, or if??? They were just genuinely so dense that they couldn't even have a decent grasp of Rin or Shirou. Hell it'd probably be a tie between Shirou and Archer who?? Just??? They had collectively completely missed the most characterisation of, it going over their heads entirely.

Still, in hindsight its funny how shit panned out the way they did, my cousin telling me the shit he did only for like eight years later to be more caught up on 'holy shit how were you ALL this dense. it was obvious. in your face obvious' part whenever the series comes to mind half the time that, y'know, the actual context.

But maybe now that this half out of it ramble is out of my system i will hopefully think about it less.

I still cant believe it took them like eight to ten years to figure out i never knew jack all about Fate as an whole, and it was all because they thought a OC i adapted for a DnD game was a direct reference to it.

But honestly i still, outside this, do most of my facepalming over the characterisation of mythological figures (man waaaaay too many white people. why.) which sometimes is funny, sometimes novel, other times weird and 'whhhhyyyyy' but file it away as 'Fate Edition(tm)' in ones head as a clean degree of separation. Also whatever the fuck is up with the reasons why most characters i know the names of that are NOT white being not-white due to??? magic?? yeah sure i guess whatever but it seems to be a weirdly recurring pattern that is like 'idk man. people can tan. people can just be not white-white its just variability in human nature dont be weird about it' is probably, well. Yeah what the fuck is up with that? Ironically the first thing about canon i decided to yeet out the nearest window because man that's just fucked. dont. So i try to not think about the excuse for why they are like that. Even if not because of the weird possibly undertones, but because i am an human being that's as white as a fucking ghost but if i get any kind of regular sun im just...not? That happens. That and just ye ole 'oh wow the variations all look different though!' well golly gee they are from different timelines so MAYBE that version just looks different, so what. SDFGHJKL

Honestly outside the whole having to pause something to bitch with Gatcha Girl(tm) over Gil being a fucking blue eyes blonde pasty ass pretty boy and being Offended(tm) as a kid who was interested in any kind of mythology i could get my hands on. Its in the same boat as when i was a kid i used to be all 'they are in egypt! Why is everyone wwhhiiitteeee' I too, want to clock him over the head with either a cricket bat or a heavy ass cast steel frying pan. But for different reasons.

Fuck honestly i think im just running out of shit to say that doesn't end in the topic completely fucking pivoting to something irrelevant outside the series itself. Namely because when i was talking to my brothers ex gf while wiki diving i was all 'oh i remember that name!' and just-- fucking flat out said without shame at 3am on whatever day of the week it was that Cu Alter looked biteable. Which was more than she probably wanted to know, but before that point i had already listened (read) about her gushing about like five characters that were in the Babylonia anime anyway so fair was fair i guess.

But by the nines when i unwittingly started this abysmal metaphorical snail aces media road trip i did NOT expect a backlog of fuck knows how long the series has been around of unwitting second and tri and whatever onwards hand exposure to lead to an almost net zero correlation of information. Its bad when you learned more from the piss poor overplayed memes than like?? Anything you had heard people sat before maybe idk october last year. With the exception of when she first talked about it back when he was still going out with my brother maybe but never followed up on because it was a bus week and i just flat out fucking forgot to ask the follow up questions because i don't care if i don't know jack shit i could carry a conversation about an actual concreteish topic over random nonspecific smalltalk.

Fuck. I dont know man. Shits weird. Shit i have had some weird experiences before with fandoms, but this has by far been one of the worst with this main situation being the sole criteria. Still nowhere near as awkward as going 'shit idk what character to pick i just want to START' with Borderlands The pre Sequel (which i knew nothing about aside from maybe two cutscenes and a few lines and second hand accounts of an event from) and rolled a die, got good ole timtams, and had the abysmal experience of playing a a character that was forced to pretend to be someone lse while being hounded by relatives who hounded me for being 'different' or 'too emotional' when i dont know man i gave up on pretending for the sake of a social appearance and when someone is chronically sleep deprived for a minimum of four years averaging like 20hr sleep a WEEK at BEST more than not. Someones not going to be the most emotionally stable. The game was good, but i could of certainly gone without that and a few other things that were so owwie i had to like. Turn the game off, flop over the couch, and stare at the ceiling for a few hours.

But man out of a minimum of twelve other people IRL how nobody 'got' something so simple -especially as ANIME ONLY WATCHERS- just?? miss?? So much glaringly obvious subtext that their only good opinion on some characters was 'cool aesthetics and stabby stabby devices'

IS it sad that i manged to go like?? Up until october last year without knowing both Shirou and Archer were THE SAME GUUUYYYYYY So final point before i decide to stop my tangent: Had i known that a certain discussion in the computer lab when i was in grade 12 would of gone drastically differently to the point the whole 'you?? never seen or read it?? dont know anything???' post DnD discussion would of been 90x more hilarious because it would of been a very jarring connection of dots that surely even an average joe who was just, normal average upbringing and was otherwise (mostly) decent would of been able to sandwich two and twp together given the shit that was said.

Hell maybe them thinking i KNEW was i was just too good at rolling with conversations while being all 'hmm i dont know shit but i can hazard a pretty good guess on this' if i chose to talk.

Ah. If you actually read all those take i don't fucking know, have a digital metaphorical facsimile of your beverage of choice because like fuck am i going back to read all my rambling that i just decided i wanted out of my head. Because you cannot give real ones out over the internet like this unfortunately.