#like yes it’s goofy yes it’s cringe

[hoss-bonaventure]

fuck colin farrell my penguin will always be that 5’3 disco-vampire homo from gotham

[pocketneophyte]

Day 23: island

god olaf actually must’ve looked so horrific in the end he really did just traumatise those kids one last time

[sleepdeprived-idiot]

Some of my fav Screenshots of loid

The zoom in on the tiny eyes jdbeknens

Him trying to suppress his smile and failing miserably???? This will make me fall for anyone btw. This expression is it. I didn't know I needed this but by God.

[sheyfu]

𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙚? 🌹

— 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗆𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂!𝖻𝗅𝗎𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝖼𝗄 𝗑 𝗀𝗇!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 [𝗌𝖾𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗍𝖾]

— 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌/𝗉𝖾𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎

— 𝖿𝗍. 𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗌𝖺𝖾, 𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗋𝗂𝗇, 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗒𝗎𝗌𝖾𝗂, 𝗆𝗂𝖼𝗁𝖺𝖾𝗅 𝗄𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾𝗋, 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗋𝖺 𝗆𝖾𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗎, 𝗂𝗌𝖺𝗀𝗂 𝗒𝗈𝗂𝖼𝗁𝗂, 𝗆𝗂𝗄𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗈, 𝗇𝖺𝗀𝗂 𝗌𝖾𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗋𝗈, 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗂 𝗁𝗒𝗈𝗆𝖺, 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝖾𝗂 𝖻𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗄𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗀𝖺𝗆𝗂 𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗄𝖾

𝗂𝗇 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖼 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖺𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 :))

itoshi sae: amor (love), mi vida (my life), mis amores (my darling) 

sae isn’t much of a talker. but when he does open that mouth of it, words of trust and love flow out from his lips (at least that’s the case for you.)

itoshi rin: y/n, stupid, dumbass

while all of these sound derogatory and basic, it’s just how rin expresses his love for you. it’s not that he doesn’t like to call you pet names (he calls you "love" once in awhile), he just doesn’t get why you have to call your lover by other terms?!@# he just wants to keep it simple. (plus he loves your name so much ueueueue)

shidou ryusei: darlin’, sweets, doll 

yup the typical fuckboy pet names. i don’t even have an explanation as to why but he loves calling you these (especially sweets).

kaiser michael: mein liebling/schatz (my darling), mein liebe (my love), mein herz (my heart)

mikka LOVESSSSSSSSS calling you these on a daily basis to the point some of his teammates (noa and even isagi 😭) even call you these instead of your name (he gets extremely jealous and pouty). 

bachira meguru: baby, bee, sweetheart

ah yes, the typical corny ass pet names. some people might yuck it but in bachira’s words, ‘don’t yum my yuck’ (you told him it was yuck my yum). no one can stop him, he’s just too in love with you (plus he calls you these to spite kaiser). 

isagi yoichi: princess, babe, sunshine

here comes the king of cringe yoichi. now, he doesn’t see anything wrong with these; it’s just the people around him are making a big fuss about these. they’re really cute! and his partner’s really cute too!

mikage reo: love, darling, sweetheart

he likes calling you simple, yet classy endearments. his favourite one to call you tho is definitely ‘love’. simple endearments for a lovely guy indeed. 

nagi seishiro: babe, y/n, darl’

now, seishiro doesn’t really like talking which is why these are really simple (but they’re so cute with the way he drags them out like “baaaaaaaabe” or “y/nnnnnnn”). but when he’s in a silly goofy mood (especially when he finishes a game), he’ll call you darl’ or just darling with a stupid smirk on his face.

chigiri hyoma: love, stupid, y/n

i just imagine hyoma to be a silly lover. someone who you can playfully banter with and someone you can love without limits. he’s just a simple guy. (he WILL beg you to buy him his hair care materials, comb his hair and style his hair). 

baro shoei: princess, darling, bunny

he says these to rile you up and make you all blushy and giggly. that’s it. that’s the explanation mhm mhm.

kunigami rensuke: princess, love, my dear

he’s a BIIIIIIIIIIIG softie in my eyes. he’s so soft-spoken and HSAASFDIS i can hear him say these im not even kidding (i’m delusional) 

OKAY YAYYY ANOTHER BANGER POSTED!! (will post more btw HUHDUHIEJROA) i hope this was enjoyable for everyone!! thanks for being here and hope to see you again! comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated <3 (what the hell thats a lot of tags 😭😭)

[cuddlyeren]

Meet My Girlfriend!

(Not clickbait)

—————————————————————

Hamzah leaned back in his chair, staring at the blank YouTube title box. His cursor blinked impatiently.

He sighed, running a hand through his curly hair. “Alright,” he muttered to himself. “Let’s rip the bandage off.”

In bold letters, he typed: “Meet My Girlfriend (not clickbait).”

A soft laugh escaped him, the irony of it all hitting him at once. For years, he had carefully cultivated a persona of the charming, funny, and very much single guy online. Fans loved him for it shipping him with their own imaginations, leaving cheeky comments like, “Hamzah, you’re my future husband, you just don’t know it yet!” or “Stay single forever!”

But now… things were about to change.

“Babe, are you sure you’re ready for this?” Y/N’s voice floated from the doorway.

Hamzah turned to see her leaning against the frame, dressed in one of his oversized hoodies. She looked nervous, her arms crossed protectively over her chest. It wasn’t like her to be unsure—one of the many things he loved about her was her confidence.

“Yes” he said, standing up and walking over to her. “I mean, I don’t want to hide you anymore. I’m tired of pretending like you don’t exist in my life when you’re the best part of it.”

She rolled her eyes but smiled. “That’s a cheesy line.”

“Cheesy, but true,” he said, placing a hand on her cheek. “Listen, I know my fans are intense… Some of them might not take it well, but I want them to know the real me. And the real me is crazy about you.”

Her smile softened, but her eyes still carried doubt. “What if they hate me?”

“They won’t,” Hamzah said firmly. “And even if some do, they’ll get over it. I’m not going to let a few people’s opinions stop me from showing you off.”

Y/N exhaled, her resolve solidifying. “Okay. Let’s do it. But if this ruins your career, you’re not allowed to blame me.”

Hamzah grinned. “Deal.”

———

The next day, the internet buzzed with speculation.

Hamzah had tweeted:

Big news dropping tomorrow. 👀

In minutes, his fans were in a frenzy:

• “HE’S RELEASING MERCH, I KNOW IT!”

• “Collab with friends ? Please say it’s chase and Claire !”

• “WHAT IF IT’S A GIRLFRIEND??? 😱”

By the time the video premiered, his audience was practically vibrating with anticipation.

The screen lit up with Hamzah sitting in his usual filming spot, a goofy grin on his face. “Alright, guys, I know you’re all dying to know what the big news is, so I won’t drag it out too long. But first…” He leaned closer to the camera, lowering his voice dramatically. “How are you doing? You good? Hydrated? Alright, cool.”

He straightened up, his expression softening. “So, here’s the thing. You guys have been with me through everything—my first awkward videos, my cringe TikTok dances, my horrible attempts at cooking. You’re like family to me. And because of that, I think it’s time I introduce you to someone really special.”

The comments exploded immediately:

• “OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING.”

• “WAIT, WHAT?!?”

• “He’s trolling us… right??”

Hamzah chuckled, glancing off-camera. “Y/N, you ready?” He extends his hand signaling to y/n that she could come now

A moment later, Y/N walked into the frame, smiling nervously. She waved. “Hi, everyone!”

The comments came faster than either of them could read:

• “SHE’S SO PRETTY OMG.”

• “Wait, who is this???”

• “Not my parasocial relationship crumbling rn.”

“This is Y/N,” Hamzah said, his voice full of warmth. “My girlfriend. And before you freak out—yes, I’ve been keeping this a secret for a while. Not because I didn’t want you to know, but because I wanted to protect her from… well, you know how some of y’all can be.”

Y/N laughed nervously, and Hamzah squeezed her hand.

The video continued with them sharing how they met and answering some lighthearted questions. But as the comments poured in, it became clear that not everyone was thrilled.

Later that night, as Hamzah scrolled through Twitter, he sighed. “Well, the fans are… divided.”

Y/N peered over his shoulder. Among the supportive messages were tweets like:

• “Heartbroken. Never trusting men again.”

• “Unsubscribed. You ruined my fantasy, Hamzah.”

But then there were others:

• “Y/N seems sweet. I’m happy for you, Hamzah!”

• “As long as you keep posting funny videos, I don’t care who you date.”

He looked at Y/N, who was reading the tweets with an unreadable expression. “Hey,” he said softly, turning her face toward him. “Are you okay?”

She hesitated before nodding. “Yeah. It’s a lot, but I’ll survive. As long as you’re by my side.”

Hamzah smiled, pulling her into a hug. “Always.”

—-

Inspired by Mandy’s recent YT Video and everyone saying that he has a gf😭 hope yall liked my first fic…

[pomegranatesarchive]

hello can i pls request rasgulla and pani puro with fred weasley??? (in my head it’s like a friends to lovers type situation)

rasgulla: "why are you looking at me like that?" pani puri: "you kissed me! you kissed me, how's that not a big deal?"

You knew it was a mistake the second you pulled back from Fred. His eyes were closed in complete bliss, lips puckered out slightly.

You cringed into yourself slightly, looking everywhere but at the boy in front of you.

You didnt see it, but Fred's lips slowly turned upward into a smile.

You paused, taking a slight breath, "I'm...sorry." you whispered.

You two stood in silence for a couple minutes before you gained the courage to turn and look at your best friend. He was staring at you will the widest eyes you'd ever seen, his cheeks pink with a goofy smile on his face.

"What?" you asked defensively, wrapping your arms around yourself, "Why are you looking at me like that?" you gave him a look.

He shook his head, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts, but you had already turned with a scoff, "Whatever Fred—"

Fred, with panicked eyes, gripped your wrist, turning you back around, "Wait, wait, what's wrong?"

You snatched your hand back, "Nothing's wrong, okay? Just forget about it."

Fred opened and shut his mouth multiple times, "Forget? About...the kiss?"

"Yes, Fred! What else would I possibly be talking about," you snapped, rolling your eyes, "It's not a big deal, mistakes happen."

Suddenly, Fred looked incredibly offended, "Not a big deal? Mistake?" He shook his head, "No no! You kissed me. You kissed me, how's that not a big deal?"

You spluttered, looking around the dark hallway with your mouth open in shock as if you had an audience "J-just forget about it okay? Don't ruin this."

"You ruined this the second you kissed me!"

"It was a mistake!"

"You're hurting my feelings!"

You both paused, taking deep breaths, it was Fred who broke the silence, "We've known each other for ten years."

you could only nod, "You've been my best friend for eight years." he continued.

You resisted the urge to make a snarky comment, Fred stuttered for a moment, "And I've been in love with you for five years."

You two stared at each other awkwardly, both taking deep breaths in and out. Finally, it was you who broke the silence, "I thought George was your best friend."

The ginger gave you an unimpressed look, and instantly you felt horrible, "Sorry for saying our kiss was a mistake."

Fred only nodded, "It wasn't.. I was just, I dunno, didnt want to make it awkward I guess." you shrugged, playing with the loose string on your robe.

Fred continued to stay silent and you were starting to worry, "I really am sorry....it was a big deal, a really big deal. Like huge."

You peered up at him, who simply stared down blankly, "Are you mad at me?" you murmured, "Because you can if you want— I was mean—"

"Can we kiss again?"

You paused, mind going blank, before quickly nodding, "Yes, yes we can."

[missmarveledsblog]

What best friends are for (Bucky Barnes x Reader ) 18+

SUMMARY : When john walker makes off handed remarks about the newest female avenger not taking into the account she is the female best friend of bucky , well it snaps something in the former assassin , when he goes to confess his feeling he catches reader in a situation of her own .

warnings : yes this bitch is a smut so if under 18 do not read . it's a bucky barnes smut that should be warning enough, goofy fluffy smutty fun

"STANK DID YOU EAT THE LAST OF THE POPTART " YN voice called through the compound .

"Ok first of stank really .... that was good but uncalled for second of all before you go blaming me remember point break is the pop tart addict in this household baby avenger " Tony grinned thinking he got away with it little did he know the evidence was all over his black sabbath t-shirt.

" For a genius mind stark you sure are dumb thor's been in new asgard for last 3 months and you've pop tart all over your stupid face and shirt " her foot tapped the floor increasingly annoyed. After her long as mission she just wanted to burrito herself in a blanket eat pop tarts and binge a series or two . Tony praying for a miracle and looking for an exit strategy when his miracle walked in with Steve and nat .

" hey Yn what's wrong " Nat being Nat making sure one Y/N was ok and two well any reason to slap start was welcome .

"Stink ate the last of my poptart " she pouted breaking not only nats heart but Tony miracle escape plan bucky opening his mouth and saving the day .

" come on малышка ( baby girl) . I hid some for you " bucky grinned as her face lit up . Ever since y/n came to the compound he swore life gotten a million times better , this woman who was sarcastic ball of sunshine . It also helped that she's most beautiful woman he's ever seen , spent most of his time making sure he could make that smile happen .

He never believed in love and first sight til she walked into meeting two years ago asking fury " aye nicky where can a girl get some good food around here " . The room went silent Tony being the first to break out laughing the rest following suit some agent paled at the words being so chill with one of the scariest men in the world in their eyes .

......

As now sat in a Burrito cocooned blanket , her eyes couldn't help stealing glances at the beautiful specimen she called a bestfriend the light of life itself and the supplier of a poptart habit that could rival the god of thunder himself .

" I've to tell you something buckshot it kinda of important .... you saved dipshits ass today I could be on the raft by now " he chuckled thinking it was her sense of humour when in fact it was a confession changed because she chickened out midway through , common problem she had around the man .

" yeah I just couldn't deal with the headlines imagine iron man dies due to poptart issue , fellow avenger charged " he tried to hold his laughter .

"Well well well who do we have here " her whole body cringed at the voice behind, there stood John walker America's wish version of Steve Rogers stood his eyes draping over her body , making her want to bathe in a volcano alone .

"Ah the poster child for Chad's everywhere is gracing us with his presence what do we owe the dishonour " y/n smiled so sweetly .

"Yn be nice he only here to collect something for fury " Sam quipped as he walked into the room .

" well buckshot , birdbrain I'm off to soak my troubles away enjoy wannabe cap " they watch her flip john the bird and skipped off not wanting to be in the room any longer making bucky want to pout at the loss of her company ... or at least he thought he wasn't but .....

" you got it bad my man I'd skip a girl like that she nothing but trouble, I could take her for you I'm sure I could handle her better since i am more this time " John stupid mouth began to move while Sam was texting nat to get John size for casket .

" A dame like her doesn't need a dipshit like you and son you couldn't handle her, she would kill you quicker than you could draw you a breath out of your measly body " he snarled as his body stiffened at thought of this man even trying to get her attention .

" FURYS BITCH MR STANK WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME TO THE LAB " .

"YN STOP HACKING F.R.I.D.A.Y BUT ALSO NICE ONE ON THE FURY'S BITCH " Tony voice echoed through the intercom .

"Fucking bitch , nevermind she's lost her chance " John snarled leaving Sam and bucky laughing til the cried .

"Language " .

" really steve " Sam laughing harder than he was before .

"It just slips out but I will admit Yn hacking F.r.i.d.a.y was hilarious I wish I was here to see John or Tony's face " steve couldn't hold the chuckle coming out . Bucky head moving in different direction, that direction was to her , for two years she was in his head non stop and if she wasn't in his head , the two were doing everything together and the countless night he thought of her under him didn't help either .

" I gotta go tell her " suddenly braved he ran to find her , his own thoughts not wanting to waste anymore time . He couldn't think straight knowing john walker or any man could try stake their claim .

As she lay in the tub overjoyed at latest achievement wishing she'd seen John stupid face falter when F.r.i.d.a.y called him furys bitch but also knowing she could get the footage later in the evening . Yet her mind kept wandering to her best friend , how he would cheer her up , make her days brighter and how he made her clenched your thighs . past the point of feeling guilty and becoming wetter as her mind thought about him fucking little pussy hard . nor she couldn't help the hand slipping down between her legs like it had a mind of it own , running it through her folds as thoughts about bucky thrusting in her pussy while a firm grasp lost in her hair , the sickening sound of skin slapping against each other .

"Oh fuck. Fuck yes just like that sarge " she whimpered circling now puffy Clit . moans drowning out the noise of the bedroom door opening as bucky made his way in .

He didn't want to stay but hearing those moans fuck it he felt like he died and went to heaven , angels singing just for him . His body betraying his mind as he opened the bathroom door the sight nearly killed him alone beautiful soaking wet body arched and sweet moans filling the room .

" yess just like that sarge fuck " those moans and sloshing water like a sweet melody to his ears . The sentence that stop her dead in your tracks a deep growl making her eyes flying open " FUCK doll you make a lot of pretty sound but I can make you scream them " . Before she could react bucky kissed as he stripped not wanting to waste a second more . It felt right, like it was normal for them ,something in it it that made sense . Moaning into the kiss she rose from the bath pulling back baring herself for her best friend .

" please bucky " she cried as her lips hit his again .

The clash of tongues and teeth the raw passion hitting both. Knowing the border between bestfriend's was so far away , would need to flight to reach it again . None of it mattered the feelings clear enough in the kiss alone knew this was real .

" please sarge I need you " sweet little kisses down his neck . There and then bucky knew he was never letting go .

" so needy my little baby doll " grinning as he took her nipple in his mouth wanting to hear those moans coming from her mouth like he was addicted to them , fuck he was addicted to her and he was finally getting his fill. Dreams becoming reality kissing down this body, one he dreamt of most nights to keep the nightmares at bay . Each touch giving him the clear sign he was one causing it. her body was his to have and he wasn't giving that up . The smell of her arousal taunting and teasing to send him almost primitively feral . It was sweetest smell that ever filled his nostrils . Jesus he knew it would be sweeter than anything he could or would ever taste , almost like the apple that tempted eve . Kissing soft plush thighs as he took in the vision of her bare pussy staring right at him . It was better than any dream or thought he could ever have .

" please James stop teasing me " .

"What do you want baby doll use your words " he wanted to hear those sweet lips tell him .

" I need to feel you ... touch me, fuck me please sarge " .

That was it he was gone eye so dark with lust as he licked teasingly long stripes of your folds.

" Oh fuck baby doll you taste heavenly " his tongue exploring her folds like it was his sole mission , before his mouth greedily sucked her clit. too good she was sure she drowned in the tub and this was heaven . Crying out in pleasure as the man she was undisputedly in love with devoured her like it was his last meal and first meal all at one . the feeling of his tongue alone had the coil tighten with each movement but when he began to slip a finger in it felt like heaven on earth .

" oh fuck bucky i'm going to ... .hey what the fuck" she cried at the lost of contact , brows furrowed in such confusion .

" im sorry baby but when you cum i wanna feel you on my cock " he chuckled at her desperate whines ." you ready doll i need your words " he beautiful ocean filled eyes stared into her soul and telling him with a little nod.

" please bucky i want you to you to fuck me " pussy clenching at nothing desperately hoping for for some release . the pornagraphic moan that came out of her mouth bucky could of came at that alone, she really didn't understand it , how much of a hold on the man she had from the first time he ever saw her and yet she was gonna find out .

" fuck baby your pussy was made for me so tight you're mine baby no one can fuck this pussy i'm gonna make sure shes ruined for anyone else " he groaned each thrust getting harder and deeper .

" fuck bucky i'm your only yours , i've only ever been yours " she cried in pleasure never feeling something so perfect ,the coil tightening more and more, .

" cum for me baby be my good girl ".

the dirty filth coming from his mouth was enough to push over the edge walls clenching around his cock and screams of pleasure filling the room was enough to send bucky over edge his seed hitting her cervix and painting the walls of her cunt .

the room filled with panting both in their own pleasure filled states as bucky lay beside laying her on his chest so tenderly a completely different contrast in his movement before . he couldn't love her anymore than he did and yet it felt like it was .

" i meant what i said buckshot im yours i dont think i could be with anyone else " she said nuzzling herself further into his neck.

" and i'm yours baby doll i always was that day you walked into the meeting i was a goner " kissing her head then her lips . both hearts feeling complete of love as they both dosed off clung together in perfect bliss .

bonus :

"remind me to add sound proof to her room " a scarred tony walked out out the room .

" so furys bitch i see you were wrong it seems our soldier can indeed handle our little spit fire "nat smirked walking to her room .

" as much as i love that they proved him wrong i am traumatised and steve's been a tomato i think they broke him " sam wince joking as his super soldier friend was blushing beat red .

both following the widows lead and leaving a defeated walker to collect his ego and files wanting to leave as soon as possible.

[bunni-v1]

hi! congratulations on 500 followers! could you make the full nsfw alphabet list with Idia please? (sorry for the bad English)

🍓I POSTED!!! I've had this sitting in the drafts for a week and I finally decided to post it (YAY!!!). I've also got Jade's qued up for later today, and I'll be working on Azul and Floyds in my free time (when I get free time that is). Sorry I took so long to post, life has been tough on me and I just didn't have the tools to deal with it. I'll be back and posting irregularly until December when I can actually take time and write again.

Idia NSFW Alphabet!

A = Aftercare: Idia Shroud is the WORST at aftercare, and I say this with so much love and kindness to the walking punching bag that calls himself a man. Genuinely though, sex overstimulates him so badly, so he cannot handle anything after the fact. He’s the kind to roll over off you (more like slide you off him) and fall asleep immediately. Of course, he mumbles out something about it feeling good and all that stuff, but 9 times out of 10 he’s out like a light.

B = Body part: He is a thigh man. He doesn’t care if it's thick and meaty, he just wants to rest his head on it. Maybe give it a nibble, if you’d let him of course (consent is key, even for a dirty Otaku like him). For him… he doesn’t like most things about himself, but if you seem to like something about him a lot, he grows to like it too. So if you like his hair, it’s probably his hair, if you like his lips or teeth it’s them. (What can I say, he’s weak for you).

C = Cum: SALTYYYYY! He doesn’t take care of himself what did you expect. It’s unpleasant to taste, and there’s A LOT of it to taste. It’s a pretty thick consistency and really sticky, fun to play with and watch dribble down your stomach and face. 

D = Dirty secret: He wants you to peg him. I wouldn’t say that’s much of a secret, but he thinks it is. 

E = Experience: NONE. Zip, zero, zilch. I make fun of Malleus for being a Virgin, but IDIA IS A VIRGIN. He’ll blush to hold your hand, it’s that bad. However, he does watch a LOT of Porn (Hentai specifically), so he has… an idea of what to do. He’s really nervous first time around, but once he gets comfortable with you he’s pretty good, just a little unrealistic in his expectations sometimes.

F = Favorite position: Doggy! Especially if you’re wearing cute little puppy or kitty ears! He likes watching the way your back arches, and he’s a big fan of pulling your hair or squeezing your hips. Other than that, he loves face-sitting. Surrounded by your thighs, oh that’s a good death for Idia Shroud.

G = Goofy: Initially, he is entirely on accident. He wants to be serious and cool about it, but he’s like a blushing schoolgirl and making a million mistakes. His line delivery is so… cringe and embarrassing you can’t help but laugh. It humiliates him, but eventually, he learns to just embrace it, and he becomes pretty goofy. He loves cracking jokes just to see you smile, cause the one thing he loves more than your thighs has to be your pretty little smile.

H = Hair: I know it’s blue flames too, I just know it. That shit is not tamed either. Like he trims, but honestly it’s hard to control something that's constantly shifting and changing. And, before you ask, yes it does flare up with his emotions like his hair does too. 

I = Intimacy: Depends… Idia isn’t someone I would ever describe as romantic, but he is a sweetie. He likes it hard and rough so it’s hard to say it’s very romantic, but he does like you close and he loves looking at you. You catch him smiling down at you like you’re some kind of goddess sometimes. You won’t catch him saying cheesy lines like how much he loves you or how pretty you are (cause it will actually kill him if he does).

J = Jack off: Mastrubating champ of NRC. He’s alone in his room 90% of the time with unlimited access to the internet and is also an Otaku. Sorry if you disagree, but you’re wrong. I know he gets off at least once a day, more if he has the time. 

K = Kink: Another biter, he just loves marking you up and sending you off with a pretty bruise for everyone to see. He’s a sadomasochist too, depending on whose topping. He wants you to push him around and hit him, make him feel helpless, it’s his favorite thing. Also into pet play, cosplay, roleplaying, and… any kind of play honestly. The weirder the better for him.

L = Location: His room and his room alone. Maybe yours, but he does not trust anyone in your dorm to respect your privacy. Besides, if he’s in his room he knows where everything is, and he can ensure no one will be getting in and seeing you that way.

M = Motivation: Most things, honestly. Be nice to him? He’s hard. Be mean to him? He’s hard. Beat him in his favorite game and act all smug (he let you win)? He’s hard. Lose and pout about it? He’s hard. He’s a sensitive guy, okay, and he thinks everything you do is super hot. Not his fault.

N = No: Share or let someone watch. Absolute nos from him. The idea of sharing you with someone and you like them more? Hah, he’d kill himself. He’s also not a fan of anyone seeing either of you in such a compromising position. He’s too nervous and possessive to let that out of the privacy of his room. Also, this might be controversial, but I can’t see him being into any kind of sibling shit. Too weird for him, he’d never want to think of his precious little brother like that, so why would he want to think of you like that?

O = Oral: He prefers receiving because watching the way you tease him with your sultry gaze as he sinks impossibly further down your throat is… heavenly. Though he isn’t bad at giving either. His tongue is long and boy can that thing move, it can reach places you didn’t even know were possible. Plus his teeth nipping at your most sensitive areas? Praise the seven, that’s good shit.

P = Pace: Fast and rough. He likes to just go at it, and he doesn’t like to stop for anything. Prepare to be pounded into next week with no stops!

Q = Quickie: He likes them, and they’re pretty common, but they’re not his favorite. When he has sex, he likes going for more than one round, and the whole point of quickies is that they’re quick so he doesn’t prefer them.

R = Risk: Yeah, he’s game to try some more risky things, but he’ll back out so fast if he’s uncomfortable for even a second. There are some things he wouldn’t consider, like bringing it out of his room. He’s a big fan of risky texts though. Like, a video of you fucking yourself in the bathroom while he’s in a meeting with the other housewardens? No one’s gonna know if he takes care of himself quickly. 

S = Stamina: He goes for multiple fast and quick rounds. He can usually do about four of them before he’s done for the night, but he’s willing to keep going if he doesn’t satisfy your needs along with his (sometimes).

T = Toys: He has a collection, actually, of really wild shit. Tentacles, ‘alien’ dicks, and even the infamous horse cock. He likes to put a bullet in you and control it from his room, watching you struggle to talk to your friends on the cameras he’s definitely allowed to have access to. 

U = Unfair: He likes to tease, but he forgets to sometimes lol. He gets so caught up in his own pleasure that, occasionally, he’ll just forget he wanted to tease you and make you all sensitive and whiny. He also likes to be teased, so please feel free to torture him when you’re topping <3

V = Volume: He tries very hard to be quiet, but bless his soul he is not. He’s so whiny and whimpery and pathetic, it’s very cute. He wants you to make as much noise as possible so that he can hide his shame, but he’ll still cry into your ear since he can’t contain himself.

W = Wild card: He sometimes prints out the pictures you send to him (with permission) and keeps them in his desk. There’s no real reason why, because he has all of them digitally, but something about having physical pictures is more thrilling to him.

X = X-ray: Hehehe, oh Idia. It is long and it is thick, bless his dad’s genetics. I’m talking like almost seven inches big, like… he’s big. It’s veiny, with one really prominent one on the top that runs from the base to just below his tip. Which, by the way, is blue like his lips. 

Y = Yearning: High, if that wasn’t made obvious before. He craves sex a lot, and it only seems to get worse after he gets with you. You’re just so pretty and perfect he can’t help it <3Z = Zzz: I said it at the start, but it’s near immediate. He gets tired easily after all that physical exertion, he just wants to nap and cuddle, you can clean up in the morning. Let him hold you :(

[tortillamastersblog]

🕸 Nerd | Peter Parker 🕸

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: none

Summary: Peter running into you at the Avengers Tower turns out to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. . .

________________________________________________

“Oh! I’m so sorry.”

I stumble backward with a strangled yelp, managing to grab onto the corner of the wall just in time to stop myself from falling on my ass. “What the hell?” I look up, ready to chew out whoever just ran into me only to bite my tongue when my eyes land on a panicked looking Peter Parker.

His brown hair is disheveled and his eyes are wide and even though he almost just bulldozed right over I can’t help but think that he looks rather funny being embarrassed and flushed like this.

“I’m so sorry!” he apologizes again, reaching out as if to help me stand but I’ve long since regained my balance, so I wave him off.

“It’s-“ I swallow, hating the effect his brown eyes are having on me-“ fine. I’m fine.”

If he were anyone else I would have given him a piece of my mind because I’m in an exceptionally bad mood at the moment, but he’s just so sweet I can’t be mad at him.

My dad’s told me stories about him (he secretly loves him even though he claims he’s annoying and overly excited all the time) and even said we’d probably get along really well, but up until now we haven’t ever met each other.

“Are you sure?” he asks, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

I sigh and nod. “Yes, I’m sure.“

“Good. . . Good.” He nods as well and looks around awkwardly before snapping his eyes back to me. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

The fight between me and my dad momentarily forgotten, I take his awkwardly outstretched hand and shake it with a gentle smile. “I know.”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You do?”

I release his hand and watch him fumble with the straps of his backpack. “Yeah. My dad talks about you all the time.”

“Y-Your dad?” he stammers which makes my lips twitch upward again.

“Uh-huh. Does Tony Stark ring a bell?” I ask and the way his eyes widen is almost comical.

“Your dad is Tony Stark?” he exclaims loudly which makes one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents nearby look in our direction. Realizing he might have been just a little too loud, he lowers his voice sheepishly and hisses through his teeth, “Tony Stark? The Tony Stark.”

I roll my eyes playfully, knowing now what my dad meant when he told me about Peter’s abnormal enthusiasm, and pull him aside when the aforementioned agent walks by us to get to the elevator. “Yes, the Tony Stark is my dad.”

“So you’re Y/N,” he guesses with a bright smile.

I chuckle and drop my chin to my chest to hide the growing blush on my cheeks. I’m not surprised he knows my name because if my dad tells me about Peter I’m sure he also tells Peter about me, but the way he just said my name with that goofy smile on his faces makes my stomach flip. “The one and only, yes.”

“Wow,” he gasps quietly. “So is it true that you have your own Iron Man suit?”

Looking back up I feel another wave of heat rush to my cheeks at the amazement on his face. “Yeah, but dad never really lets me use it. . . Says it’s too dangerous.”

The fact that he can fly into literal gunfire but I can’t even go out for a test flight on my own is the reason we got into a fight just before my run-in with Peter.

It’s not like I want to fight crime— well, maybe I do but only small crimes like car jacking or vandalism— but I can’t even go out and fly on my own because I apparently have a target on my back 24/7 just because Tony is my dad.

I feel another wave of irritation threatening to wash over me, but then I notice the way Peter’s eyes light up at the revelation and I once again forget all about the fight.

“Do you- do you want to see it?” I ask, cringing at how unsure I sound. I barely know him and he might not even want to hang out with me, but much to my surprise, Peter nods excitedly and yanks on the straps of his backpack.

“Do I— Yes, of course! I’d love to see it. Where is it? Is it in your room? Or do you have your own lab or something? Hey, have you ever met Black Widow before? She’s awesome, but you probably know that because you live here and she’s here all the time and your dad is literally Tony Stark so you must know all the Avengers. . .”

Laughing at his rambling, I tug on his open flannel and lead him to the elevator.

A knock on the window makes me look up from the book in my lap and I smile almost instantly when my eyes land on who’s dangling outside of it, upside down and without his signature mask.

“Spiderman,” I tease when I open the window to let him inside. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

He was just here yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that one. He’s basically been here every day since we met a month ago, but I’m not complaining.

He’s sweet and funny and undeniably cute, but what he could possibly want this time of night I don’t know. It’s also a bit weird that he’s coming in through the window rather than the front door the way he usually does.

Peter grins and climbs in through the window. “Oh just stopping by.”

I scoff playfully and close the window again to shut out the chill of the night he dragged in. “You know my dad won’t be happy when he finds out you’re sneaking in to see me.”

At the mention of Tony, he cringes. “Well. . . I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Ha, fat chance! I haven’t talked to him in a couple of days because he’s holed up in his lab with Bruce,” I explain.

Peter makes a sound between a grunt and a hum to acknowledge what I just said before taking off his backpack and jumping on my bed.

“Hey, no!” I exclaim, yanking on his leg to get him off the bed. “Your suit is all dirty and I just changed my sheets.”

Peter laughs, but gets to his feet anyway before looking around helplessly. “Well, where am I supposed to sit then?”

Looking over his soot stained suit again, I sigh and point at my desk chair. “Just wait here for a second.”

He does what he’s told and lets his brown eyes follow me as I make my way to the door of my room. I slip out, telling F.R.I.D.A.Y. to keep an eye on Peter whilst I make my way down the hallway to a supply closet.

I open it and pull out a hoodie and a pair of Avengers sweatpants. They match what I’m wearing save for my initials stitched on the chest of my hoodie.

“Alright, so— Peter?” I stop when I return to my room and he isn’t where I left him.

“Y-Yeah! Right here,” he answers, popping out from behind my suit in the corner. “Sorry, I just noticed that you updated some stuff and I wanted to take a closer look.”

I chuck the clothes at him and smile fondly. “You’re such a nerd.”

He catches the clothes, if not a bit clumsily and pulls an offended face. “Hey! I’m not a nerd.”

I raise my eyebrows incredulously and plop down on my bed. “Oh, yes you are. You’re like the king of nerds.”

Peter scoffs and starts stripping out of his suit right down to his underwear, making my brain short circuit for a moment before I quickly avert my eyes.

“Okay fine. I might be a nerd but if anyone is the king of nerds it’s you. We’re literally the same age and you’ve already graduated from high school,” he argues with a chuckle, obviously not noticing the sight his shirtless chest and abdomen have on me.

I swallow thickly, trying to get rid of the sight of his abs in my mind before replying quietly. “We’re sixteen It’s hardly impressive graduating at that age. There was this girl last year who graduated at thirteen.”

The mattress dips as Peter takes a seat next to me and when I catch a glimpse of his sweatpants covered leg I know it’s safe to look up again without catching another glimpse of his shirtless body. “Don’t do that,” he says seriously. “Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re incredibly smart and I know you’ll go on to do great things in life.”

Warmth spreads in the pit of my stomach and when I look up to meet Peter’s eyes I realize that he’s already staring at me intently. His eyebrows are set in a barely noticeable frown and his piercing brown eyes dart between my own with an unfamiliar look in them.

Trying to diffuse the sudden tension between us, I whisper, “That was so cheesy,” but it comes out more breathy than I intended.

“Yeah?” he says lowly, without breaking eye contact. “Well, it’s still true.”

So much for diffusing the tension. . . I can practically hear my own heart pounding in my chest and when Peter’s eyes flick down to where I subconsciously just licked my lips, I feel a shudder run through my body.

We’ve had little flirtatious moments before, teasing each other relentlessly or tackling each other with excessive hugs, but there’s never been this silence between us.

This unspoken attraction and yet I can’t help but revel in it.

I like having his attention on me and I like the way he laughs even when I tell a horrible joke, so without thinking much of it, I close my eyes and lean forward to connect our lips in a short peck.

Peter freezes and when I pull back I think I might have made a mistake, so I hold off on opening my eyes just yet, but then his lips are back on mine and he’s moving them gently, coaxing me into kissing him back.

I gasp and raise my hands to touch his jaw, pulling him closer until we’re awkwardly lying on the bed with our feet still dangling off the end.

Peter is half on top of me, his hands on my waist and his hip pressed against the side of mine, but before the kiss can deepen he pulls back and presses his forehead against mine.

My lips tingle and I instantly miss the feeling of his lips on my own, but I have to catch my breath, so I keep my eyes shut and enjoy the feeling of his breath on my cheek.

“I—“

“Look—“

I chuckle when we both try to speak at the same time and open my eyes to find him already watching me fondly.

“Please, say what you were going to say,” I whisper, slipping my hands from his jaw and to the back of his neck.

Peter smiles shyly and averts his eyes for a second to gather his thoughts. “I-I actually stopped by because. . . well, I’ve liked you for quite some time now and we’re really great friends, but I was always to afraid to say something, but then Aunt May told me to just go for it and I was in the neighborhood tonight so I thought— I wanted to— I was going to—“

“Oh my God, Peter, breathe!” I scold quietly, smiling up at him when his eyes meet mine again.

“Right,” he laughs softly. “Sorry. You see— I came by because I. . . Iwaswonderingifyou’dliketogoonadatewithmesometime.”

“I—What?” I laugh, running my fingerst through the hair at the back of his neck.

Peter huffs and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “Will you— I mean, would you like to go on a date with me sometime?” His voice is quite, barely above a whisper, but I hear him and the smile that instantly lights up my face makes him smile, too.

“I would love to go on a date with you,” I say and before I can take it back (not that I ever would) Peter’s leaning down once more to connect our lips in another kiss.

His hands roam my waist, respectfully of course, and I tug him closer by the back of his neck, wanting to deepen the kiss when, out of nowhere, my door flies open and we’re forced to break apart to look at whoever just burst in.

“What’s going on here?!”

“Oh shit! I-I can explain,” Peter yelps, scrambling off me.

I just chuckle and let my head fall back onto the bed. “Ever heard of knocking, dad?”

________________________________________________

Peter is honestly such a cutie. He didn’t deserve what happened to him at the end of No Way Home.

[hijackalx]

Headcanons for Gale, Astarion, and Gortash: What are nicknames/petnames you can see them giving their lover and what would their lover call them in return?

ASTARION

GIVING: omgggg this dude will call you every petname in existence. he loves the sweet ones because he thinks you’re so STINKIN CUTE !!!!!! 👹 (yes he gets cute aggression). i think his all time favorite is ‘darling’ obvs, but he likes to switch it up for sure. like i can see him calling you ‘pumpkin’ or ‘sweet thing’. shit just throw ‘pookie’ in there too LMFAOO. he also likes to put ‘my’ or ‘little’ in front of them. or both. absolutely coos over you

RECEIVING: unfortunately he would throw up in his mouth if you called him the sickly sweet petnames he calls you LMAO i honestly feel like he’s the type to cringe if he’s called ANY petname 😹😹😹 but i do think he tolerates stuff like ‘dear’ or ‘honey’. also shortening his name to ‘star’ occasionally is alright with him. regardless of what you call him he appreciates the thought and thinks it’s kinda sweet, even if it does make him gag 😹💗

GALE

GIVING: he’s a sucker for the classier, more dignified petnames (picture him looking at astarion in horror after he calls you some shit like ‘snookums’). he prefers stuff like ‘beautiful’/‘handsome’— ‘my love’ or ‘my muse’ are good ones too. he has you on such a high pedestal and thinks you only deserve the most tasteful petnames. i feel like he can get kind of corny with it too though 💀 just more poetically. if he’s feeling creative he’ll probably call you something like ‘my light in the darkest night’ HELPPP 😭😭 he’s so sweet though give him a break 😹😹😹

RECEIVING: ‘handsome’ hands down. i don’t know what it is but i just know this is his favorite. maybe it has something to do with you reassuring him of how handsome he is lol. it also flusters him a little bit when you say it, he gets all bashful and goes “oh, stop it” while trying to hide his smile 😹💗 i think he also likes ‘babe’ too, it’s cute and casual but not goofy

GORTASH

GIVING: i feel like his favorite time to use petnames for you is when you’re in public or around other people. like to him it’s almost a means of showing ownership LMAO. of course ‘dear’ is one he really likes generally. he also lovessss to use ‘little’ or ‘my’ in front of them as a display of possessiveness or power; ‘my little dove’, ‘my dear girl/boy/one’. i don’t really see him having a huge roster of petnames honestly? he’s more of a physical touch or gift giving kind of guy 😹😹

RECEIVING: daddy I’M KIDDINGGG (no i’m not. yes i am. no i’m not) i don’t know if he really cares what you call him. he’s pretty chill with any nickname or petname. he doesn’t take it too seriously or just considers it as you being silly. ALTHOUGH i think if you call him something often enough he’ll grow fond of it— i know a lot of people like to call him ‘gorty’ and i think he would grow to really love that honestly ? 😹😹💗 it becomes special to him because that’s what you call him, not really because of the petname/nickname itself

[ducklooney]

Mickey, Donald and Goofy during the 1990s and in 1990s outfits

I know people tend to object to how Max Goof and Huey, Dewey and Louie were portrayed in the 1990s and dressed in the 1990s, although they weren't bad, but here's Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Minnie, Daisy, Jose, Fethry, Gus and Gladstone who also wore 1990s outfits and were portrayed as teenagers is not a problem. Isn't it? If I were to ask ironically of course.

Joking aside, I am posting these pictures as covers and Disney (whether European, American or Brazilian) is setting up these characters by posing as teenagers during the 1970s, 1990s and 2000s era, as well as wearing those clothes and outfits from the 1990s and 2000s era. Yes, you also have Dance Dance Revolution with Mickey and friends wearing 1990s outfits. Pop music, rock, metal, hip-hop and other types of music that prevailed during that era. There are cringes, but not all cringes. Still, there are some of us who grew up during the 1990s, 2000s and 2010s era, right? Or at least some of us. Certainly teenage Donald and Goofy remind me a lot of Max Goof and Huey, Dewey and Louie from A Goofy Movie and the Quack Pack.

I have yet to see Panchito, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Drake Mallard and other famous Disney characters wearing 1990s outfits, but it would be hilarious to see them too.

If you like it, feel free to like and reblog this.

P.S. Yes, I like how Max and Huey, Dewey and Louie are portrayed in the 1990s and I don't care about other negative opinions, and I like the outfits that Donald and Jose Carioca wear. My opinion.

[letsbangchanblog]

NSFW ABCs for BANG CHAN

Mature Content!!! MINORS DO NOT ENTER!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is an angel after sex. It doesn't matter if you were making love or fucking. He has a water bottle and a towel prepared. He needs to feel the rest out. He will check to see if you are still in a subspace etc. He knows what to do for it all; he has the signs memorized (maybe on a flash drive so he can read it and jerk off….. yes he loves reading smut himself) 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He LOVES his arms. He has clearly been working on them and he sees the effects from you.  He will flex them just for fun like “oh no this book is so heavy *flex*”

Will not say any part of you is better than the rest. He would say personality and refuse to continue. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Messy messy boy. It almost seems fake how much he cums. Like how can one produce so much. He hates it even if you say it's sexy. He gets very bashful about it even when he is (trying to, he breaks character a lot) hard dominating you.  

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants it all with you.  He is a very shy guy about this kind of stuff but somehow it's easier with you.  He doesn't have the heart to share most of the time tho. He will spill the beans while blushing with bright red ears. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Honestly, I don't think he has much. I think this is why he's so shy about flirting and sexual things. He definitely hasn't done more than vanilla activities before you. You are his first with BDSM. He is a switch but leans more subby. He is a natural born sub but will be a dom (the sub always finds a way to leak out). 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

 anything with you riding him. 

He loves dominating you cause you love it BUT he's a slut for someone to dom him. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

He is giggly sometimes but not from it being humorous. 

He would enjoy natural humor during sex but won't make anything funny on purpose. Not a fan of an intimate activity being unserious. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Trimmed. It's literally a work of art. He will make shapes sometimes. For your anniversary, he made his pubes a heart shaped. He thought it was romantic but it was honestly hot as fuck he tried so hard. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very romantic. No matter how hard you go, he will tell you he loves you and you're beautiful. While the next sentence is complete filth even when you are domming him. He has a filthy mouth and it just spills out. He doesn't think before saying anything. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He will but it's not common. If he doesn't have time to fuck you, he would rather build up his desire. He thinks of it as naturally edging himself. If it's too strong and he's far away, smut it is. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lovesssssss sexxtinnngggg 

His imagination is so good and he gets off on imagining dirty things more than seeing them. (Unless it's possible to have you, then he wants that) He will flirt nonstop. 

BUT ALSO

Master/Sir Kink. I think he would cringe at daddy like it's not bad but it's not good. Call him sir and he's hard as a rock. Call him sir while topping him, cardiac arrest. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He will only do it on a bed. He would be too worried about your neck or back. I really doubt you can convince him otherwise unless its on a pallet of blankets on the floor. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Cumming while feeling loved. For himself and you.  

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Would not do anything in public; he would get so nervous. He also wont hurt you. It would take him a longggggg time to even think about slapping you. He will only choke you because of how much he hears about it, not actually interest. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

King of eating pussy.. he does this thing where he will lick then blow so there is a coolness to it. He has a huge thing for temperature play. 

He is always so proud when you give him head. You don't even have to be good at it. The fact is that his lover wants his dick in their mouth, how could that be done wrong? 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It's whatever feels right at the moment. He is usually very sensual but can become a jack rabbit. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not really interested sadly. He wouldn't understand why plus there is no bed????? Like how 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Only risky in private. He would be willing to experiment. He would do a lot of it before suggesting pegging. He thinks you won't catch on. He has been waiting for it. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Reads the room. He can go for as long as needed but prefers to last a long time (he gets shy about cumming, don't you remember)  

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Loves them. He wants them all. It's not even a need to use them but to have options. You never know when you would want to try something and not have the supplies. LIKE A STRAP ON

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is one to actually get mad if it's unfair or too much of a tease. Like why are we even fucking then mad.. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

VERY LOUD OMFG LIKE BOY SHHHHHHHH (or Dont 💅) 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He would love to wear a maids outfit for you but will literally never tell you… you decide if you would ask or not… But he does have one in his size FOR OPTIONSSSS

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Prettiest dick the world has ever seen. It should be in a museum. It's low key huge… like petite girls, good fucking luck.. wider girls… this is your time to finally experience cock training 🫡 good luck 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He is horny everyday. 7pm in Korea is horny happy hour (this is how you learn he reads smut). 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Baby can't sleep normally and not even fucking you hard knocks his ass out… 😤 😒

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Lexi, I have an ask 😏

I keep seeing these pranks girlfriends are doing on their boyfriends on TikTok where the girl is talking to her man about her waxing appointment she just had and she casually says 'HE was great' or 'HE did a great job’

How do you think the Chris characters would react? 😂😂

Warnings for Lexi getting on her professional high horse and inferences to, well, the areas that get waxed.

Hi. I'm Lexi, and this is my job. I wax people for a living and am about to get extremely serious for a moment before our fun imagines...

IF the person is professional, there is zero reason a male or female waxologist should matter. Of course, it is important for the client themselves to be most comfortable, but men and women can be equally good at this job and equally shit at it. I say this knowing that I went to school with a handful of women that did not care about the comfort or safety of their clients, only money and time. I'd say it was as bad as 50/50. The sex or sexual orientation of your professional doesn't actually matter, and I find it childish that any man would get huffy or jealous as long as the service is done professionally and well for the actual client. I would personally punch any man (yes, even those with faces as pretty as above) for being a sexist, assuming dickhead in this manner.

James Mace

Curious. Sorta wants to come with you to your next appointment and ask how a man gets into that line of work, since it is more rare. Mace would also be curious if you were shocked at first that a man would wax you. Did you feel uncomfortable at first? Has more than one man waxed you? Is this...is this a thing he can learn to help with? He's simply never thought about it before.

Curtis Everett

Weirdly 'classic man' about it and thinks it's bizarre a man waxes people. He just thinks that sounds like a woman's profession and a woman's service. Cringes and hisses at the mere thought of hair being ripped from his own body, so Curtis cannot fathom why anyone does it, man or woman.

Jimmy Dobyne

Doesn't give a rat's ass if there's hair down there, so mostly he's just indifferent to the whole situation. If you start talking about 'how cute' your waxer is, however, that's another story. Would probably assume the man is gay, too, and would express shock if you said otherwise. To Jimmy though, a job is a job. Whatever.

Johnny Storm

Simultaneously doesn't care and is fascinated. He's a try-anything-once person, so Johnny kinda wants to know what that feels like AND will be an enormous baby about the pain of waxing. He would be equally fascinated if the professional were female or male to be honest, though he'd be slightly more goofy and flirtatious with a woman. Johnny--as you may guess--would love to make you jealous so that he can 'prove himself' to you over and over again; he isn't a jealous type on his own.

Jake Jensen

Dead silence. Doesn't mention a fucking thing about how he feels but internally screaming. Deeply angry that not only did a man see you that way but also that a man is doing something 'painful' to you and that Jake didn't know before. Does a background check on your professional without ever saying a word to you. Only brings it up if there's something suspicious in the man's record. Refuses to be 'that guy' and voice his discomfort. Hopes you both never speak of it again...or the man retires soon and you see a woman.

Lloyd Hansen

Can you guess? I feel by now you can guess what I'm going to say.

Lloyd (that's right) doesn't. give. a. fuck.

Good. Get waxed. There is no need to talk about it. He just cares that it's done, not about any of the specifics.

Ari Levinson

Horrified that anyone waxes anything. Vaguely interested that a man offers it. Asks you what he looks like--i.e. does a man with a lot of hair (like Ari) wax other people or is he rather hairless himself? Ari shivers while considering it and promptly forgets all about it.

Ransom Drysdale

Did the job get done? Fine. Is the guy your only option for someone to wax you? No. Will Ran call your salon and insist you never be booked with the guy (or any guy) again? Yes. Yes he will.

Does Ran tell you he did that? No. Does he care if you know? Also no, but he ain't fucking discussing it. End of story.

Andy Barber

Literally has twelve other things to talk about with you so he doesn't care at all. Would forever prefer enjoying the results then getting hung up on the methods...

Steve Rogers

Has NO IDEA how to respond to that. Has NO IDEA if he should care or be mad or be interested or offer any words whatsoever. Is SO AWKWARD when moving on to another topic of discussion.

Bucky Barnes

Grumpy. First suggests and then insists that he do it for you/help. Verbally observes that it would save money and time to simply do it at home; emotionally unhinged at the wave of possessive rage he feels in the moment. He isn't proud of the response, but he also isn't letting that continue. Full-stop.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn

@late-to-the-party-81 @bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries

@rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm

[sandsorghum]

A Promising Ruse

You've been friends with Higuruma Hiromi for six years, his colleague for two months and now he's asked you to be his girlfriend...for just one weekend. What could go wrong?

a/n: AKA I give our favourite exhausted attorney a spin around the FakeDating!Trope. (Yes, we get to meet his family). Planning for this to be a multi-chapter fic, I was feeling goofy when I wrote this...

Normally, he'd be able to fend the hoard off on his own, more than comfortable being the resigned if badgered bachelor, however beleaguered he is by aunts pestering him with arrangements to meet with their "tennis club president's daughters".

Eagle-eyed and adeptly Higuruma weaves through the room so the mob of matchmakers can't converge on him all at once, adroitly avoiding engaging in any conversation which extends beyond a couple of minutes. His ears are alert to their wheedling praise, gauzy as their wolfish grins; No, he hadn't gotten a "super chic, new" haircut recently, it's in fact the exact same style he's been wearing for the past five annual family reunions.

Really, it's only troublesome when they make the concerted effort to attack in packs, deflecting and diminishing his deadpan defenses with their tittering. Inevitably one of them will comment on how this oh so brilliant demonstration of comedic wit makes him even more of a catch, and the others will pile on, sadistic in their ignorance as he writhes and wilts under a barrage of trite pleasantries, hardly informed by reality.

Has he- has he been working out???

He's almost too shocked by the insidious insipidness of the compliment to be annoyed, but Higuruma curses his lack of foresight anyway; Why hadn't he printed out that medical report with its urgent warnings about his cholesterol levels? He could've shoved it and all this facetiousness in their faces, triumphing in their stunned silence.

Instead he swiftly chugs down a half-full bottle of beer (hoping against hope one of them observes the velocity of the disappearing act as a penchant for alcoholism, or any other vice) then mumbles something about getting a refill, would they want one?

Higuruma kicks himself as the question slips from him and his aunts lunge, gushing about what a "considerate, fine young man" he is, surely deserving of a fine, young lady and oh, they just so happen to know where he might meet one, she does yoga, or fencing or makes her own hand-poured soy wax candles, see, they have a clip of her conducting a craft workshop at the village fair, demonstrating for all the little kiddies, gosh she's so good with them isn't she, Higuruma should save her contact, here they'll just take his phone so her name's spelled right-

Higuruma is contemplating how he can make stomping on his mobile with both feet look like an accident when he spots a miracle - a life raft lashed together with chicken carcasses and vegetable scraps. He grabs the dinghy of dirty dishes, excusing himself and does his best to conceal his cringe as one of his aunts remarks on how rare it is for a man to take the initiative on domestic duties to a chorus of approvals.

Wielding the plates as a shield Higuruma races from the dining area, tactically retreating across the drawbridge into kitchen as he scurries towards the sink with its reassuring moat of suds.

Of course it's not an entirely foolproof strategy, he could be cornered in the kitchen too; castle turned Alcatraz with a volley of pointed comments about his complexion whizzing over the turrets of the trays, those dark circles shadowing his face identical to bullseyes for how targeted his uncles' brusque inquiries are. Fortunately, all he has to do is suggest the wok needs a more thorough rinse, would they like to assist him? And then blessedly, they beat a hasty retreat and Higuruma gets to enjoy some solitude...for all of ten seconds before his gambit comes to bite him in the ass.

Some cousin pops in with their latest toddler in tow, cheerfully offering unsolicited advice, fussing about the stove top in a scheme to offload the infant clawing at his hips onto Higuruma, holding out the crimson faced cryptid doing its best impression of a banshee. It's the cousin closest to his age whom, up until a few years ago, had faced these very same ritualistic trials engineered by their relatives. Higuruma can't help feeling betrayed; so much for surviving the prisoners' dilemma together, or their fraternal bonds forged in the fires of their aunts' chirpy interrogations. Brothers in arms no longer.

Hastily Higuruma starts stacking and drying pans, occupying his hands and furiously buffing utensils till the spoons are concave mirrors catching the rich marinade of his misery, knowing he's running out of tines to shine while the shrieks and whines of the nominally humanoid spawn continue to climb and climb, his father fumbling awkwardly, haphazardly trying to hiccup his miniature replica with an odd jostling rhythm.

An unexpected saviour appears at the 11th hour, the aunt who owns the house sweeps into her kitchen, drawn to what is an apparently angelic cacophony. The heavenly host relieves the parent of the screaming cherubim, cooing some excuse for the colic baby (and an erroneous assessment that they aren't from the tenth circle of hell).

Too late however, Higuruma realises this is less divine intervention and more Grecian pantheon machinations as the aunt drops her guise of allyship, the formidable adversary commanding her emissary with a breezy, "Oh, Oetsu, don't forget to tell Hiromi about your charming co-worker! You were telling me she has a really pretty voice, when your company did a karaoke night right?"

Cousin Oetsu clears his throat and Higuruma shoots him a wounded glare. Et tu, brute?

"Yeah! She did quite a charismatic rendition of Livin' on a Prayer."

It takes every fiber of Higuruma's already strained optic nerves for his eyeballs not to roll to the ceiling. Trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea, he grits his teeth and spits a Hail Mary.

"I heard your 8-month-old son learned to sit up this spring?"

Cousin Oetsu and his aunt bare their teeth, with the kind of vicious incandescence that makes it into history books, accompanied by ominous pictures of looming mushroom clouds. It makes his bones brittle, but Higuruma knows he's bereft of any other choices.

Croaking his defeat, he mutters the nuclear question, "Did you record it?"

Higuruma doesn't know how many eons have elapsed when he finally stumbles out of the kitchen, having survived 27 folders of videos and photos (and what? TikToks as well now? what are those?) of babies doing incredible variations of very little to nothing at all - in most of the footage, the tiny creatures at least seemed as equally perplexed as him as to why their mere existence warranted this much wonder and fascination. He scarcely gets a moment to brace himself with a burning swig of amber liquid before having to deal with his immediate family.

Fortunately Higuruma has had years to practice, to perfect subtlety with those nips of whiskey vaccinating him against his mother's withering sighs, his father's jabs about his job prospects, his elder brother's boasts about the latest island resort he's invested in, and so on. But riding back to his apartment on the last train in an empty cabin, Higuruma has to admit to himself that what he can't outmaneuver is Time and the fact that yes, (he hears this in his mother's beseeching drone) Grandma's 95th birthday is coming up and a 96th doesn't seem an exceptionally realistic prospect; the dowager deserves to at least feel like all her descendants are on the track to her antiquated concepts of success and happiness, right?

So he enlists you, or not so much enlists as bribes you; A bargain, a steal really, doing just three weeks of your paperwork but you have his parking lot for the rest of the year - and you get to relish the normally poised, polished as silverware, eloquent Higuruma Hiromi out of his element; a rare chance to see this forthright, courtroom commanding orator with razor sharp intellect become an evasive, even sheepish, blushing boy outwitted by a nonagenarian in her tea parlour? You almost bruise yourself with the pinch when he implores you to pretend to be his partner, mumbling it around his mouthful of bourbon during a post-work week drink/drowning session. The request is garbled through the alcohol, but it doesn't do enough to disguise his desperation.

Higuruma Hiromi, at your mercy, in your debt - the rarest of opportunities. In all honesty he could have offered a measly three days of paperwork for this golden chance; but lucky for you your morose faux Romeo is none the wiser.

It's going to be a summer potluck type of thing, out in the country for a few days. You send him photos of sundresses listed on several boutiques' sites, to assess what would be, in your words "an appropriate amount of ankle to reveal in front of his relatives?" and you're sure you'd have heard his eyeballs rollicking to the back of his sockets if you weren't too busy inelegantly snorting out an espresso through your nose at his reminder that any sackcloth cowls or ermine fur-trimmed chemises will be at your own expense. How does he of all people know what a chemise is anyway?

But after that, you don't ambush, much less consult him in the cafeteria again about your fashion choices.

However, when the day comes, you wonder if your attire is sufficiently modest or if he's found something to nitpick about your chiffon midi dress with its square neckline. Met with his prolonged silence, you mentally race through the reflection you'd checked before opening your door to him; The silhouette isn't too snug, flattering without being figure-hugging, it traces rather than accentuates your waist and while there's a leg split along the long cream skirt embroidered with sunflowers, it ends a mere couple inches above your thigh. All things considered, very demure and unlikely to be the cause of hushed whispers or cardiac arrests from any female relatives aged 40 and up. So, you have half a mind to reach for Higuruma's pulse as he stands stock still on your front step without a single word, with saucer plate eyes. Scrutinizing as usual, you're sure.

Perhaps you had some strands out of place? You tuck a lock behind your ears and press your cherry tinted lips together.

"I have a band tee and an ancient pair of bermudas I could change into instead," you offer drolly, notching a fist at your hips.

Higuruma blinks, as if ridding himself of pirouetting black spots, a penalty for staring at the sun.

"Uh no no, it's fine. We should get going, it'll be a long drive."

You nod once, adjusting a strap along your otherwise bare shoulders, and Higuruma considers accounting for his abrupt onset of muteness. He registers your faintly concerned expression and racks his brain for an explanation; Maybe he could say it was something to do with how he's only ever seen you in a rotation of black or dark blue pantsuits and corporate attire - yes, that reason could hold water - until a memory of you in a particular navy pencil skirt trickles unbidden into Higuruma's mind and he blanches, just as he did back then when he'd bumped into you during that morning commute...

"Higuruma?"

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked if the car you rented was an automatic. My license does apply to manuals, but it's been a while since I've driven one."

"Oh yea. Yes, it's an automatic." Higuruma pats his left pocket, then his right, then checks the inner lining of his jacket, before finally pulling it out of his left pants pocket.

You keep the snigger off your face though you suspect it's sidled into your tone; luckily, for whatever reason, Higuruma's focus doesn't seem to be as laser pointed as it usually is.

"Okay, just let me get the Yakitake from the fridge," you hum.

"Yaki..take?"

"Yep, the place has really taken off. They recently opened a fifth outlet at Akasaka. I got it since your grandma enjoys cheesecake."

"She does..." Higuruma diverts the quizzical drawl in his voice to his gaze as it trails instead toward the large, glossy paper bag you pass him while you lock the door behind you.

"You mentioned it a few months ago, when we had that 71 year old accused of a string of B&Es into that bakery chain."

"Oh, right. Still don't understand why someone would try to steal sourdough starter. Or how it'd be kept in a safe."

"That place is popular for a reason, but too crowded! I get my sourdough from this reliable place, it's not far from Ichigaya Station. Shame they don't sell them in quarter loaves though, but at least they make for good croutons. I'll let you sample it next time."

"Croutons?"

"No," you say, unable to keep the giggle at bay this time, "a sandwich."

"I think I'm more of a vending machine shokupan kinda guy," he comments, unlocking the door on the passenger's seat side for you.

"Just by necessity, and you don't even like the tuna mayo!"

You continue to chide as you slide into the vehicle, "Nobody does - it's always the last flavour. Even those vacuum packed fish bars get sold out first."

You hear Higuruma's restrained sigh ghost over his words even above the sibilant hiss of seat belts being pulled into place.

"They're not so bad once you've had them three or four days in a row," Higuruma mutters, starting up the engine.

"A BLT," you declare, as the straps snap into their slots with a definitive click,"When we get back I'm introducing you to BLTs."

"I'm acquainted. That's how I discovered I dislike lettuce, especially raw."

"You know, I don't think I've ever recalled you being in the vicinity of a vegetable."

"Actually I had three of those martinis last Friday, so three very briny vegetables."

You stare at one of the most inarguably brilliant attorneys you've ever met in the span of your entire career, banking on silence to prompt an elaboration of his bizarre statement. When it doesn't come, you say slowly, "You know olives are a fruit right."

Higuruma fixes his gaze dead ahead through the windshield. You wonder if he'll put a crack through it.

"I knew that."

There's a two second gap, before he adds, "They were vodka martinis. I was referring to the potatoes it's distilled from."

You clap a palm over your mouth just in time, but the snicker that gets repressed reroutes to your shoulders instead, and you're certain the quiver will carry to your voice, so you simply say, "Sure, Higuruma. Sure."

The ripple of your mirth over his syllables is too enticing not to confirm what's in his periphery. Higuruma's gaze flickers to his left then snaps straight back onto the road; he's not about to risk a demerit point for being distracted by an unexpectedly blinding beam.

Perhaps he should get his shades out from the glove compartment; he can't let you see his focus waver.

This was supposed to be a simple, smooth drive after all, except now he can't help but wonder if this peculiar, unfamiliar tautness in his chest bodes ill for the ruse ahead of both of you...

@houseofsolisoccasum

[konpeitonom]

swansea nsfw alphabet.

nsfw — lowercase intended ^_^

fem reader —

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^

send in a request for who you wanna see next for a nsfw alphabet !! i wanna do all the characters but only if people want it haha

notes; been really wanting to write about him.. i think this is a good start.

for context and ease of writing, you two are married.

nsfw under the cut! minors do not read

a — aftercare, (what they’re like after sex)

— swansea is a gentleman. he would get you water, clean you up with a wet rag. he would have to sleep right after though, he does not have that much energy in him.

b — body part (their favorite body part, and their partners)

— he likes tits! small, big, it wouldn’t matter to him. he likes to hold them yeah but mostly just admire them as he fucks you. a bit of an ass guy but he’d never say that out loud. for his own. uhm. he doesn’t have one. his favorite is whatever your favorite would be.

c — cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

— inside. lol. he’d never have sex without birth control. but even then i don’t think he and his wife (you) are even capable of having kids at that age. maybe when he was younger he’d cum on your face but he’d feel a bit bad doing that now. feels degrading, no? but maybe if you were into that.

d — dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

— he has kept every single dirty photo you’ve taken for him. it’s in a box somewhere hidden. in the back of his mind it’s always there.

e — experience (how experienced are they?)

— pretty experienced. he was a looker in both highschool and college and probably fucked a bit before settling down with you.

f — favorite position (self explanatory)

— missionary. is that boring? yeah a little. he likes to see his partners face, but also to just ogle at your body a bit.

g — goofy (are they more serious in the moment?)

— maybe before and after but never during. i’d feel inappropriate.

h — hair (how well groomed are they?)

— no he couldn’t care less. unless his wife had a serious problem with it then he wouldn’t bother!

i — intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic wise?)

— he’s old so i think he views sex as a purely intimate thing. maybe when he was younger not so much, but he likes to be loving and intentional now.

j — jack off (masturbation headcanon)

— he’d never go out of his way to do it. maybe in the shower when he’s in the mood but it’s rare. he prefers fucking!

k — kink (one of their kinks)

— breeding next question

— ok but he is pretty vanilla.. he’s tried a lot of things but none he really likes. classic lingerie set that suits your skin tone is enough to get him horny, probably. friend said he’d think just wearing an apron would be hot and i agree, yes..

l — location (favorite places to do it)

— bedroom. the most regular of regular things! but he’s open to anything safe and in the house, like the kitchen or the shower. he’d like the shower the most outside of the bed, killing two birds with one stone or whatever.

m — motivation (what turns them on)

— well like i said, lingerie would turn him on. but outside of that i think he’s old enough to recognize when he’s just pent up. little things like you seeing you in cute outfits or short skirts. not like an instant feeling, just a slow build up until he’s like. yeah i wanna fuck

n — no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

— he doesn’t like crying. he’d feel too bad. he doesn’t mind tears where it feels ‘too much’ but genuine pain ones? that’d cross a line for him. and he thinks degrading is a bit cringe for his age.

o — oral (preference in giving, receiving)

— this man eats pussy you cannot convince me otherwise. he likes the feeling of your legs around him, feeling them shake. he also thinks it’s pretty intimate.

— i think he’d like his dick sucked, sometimes. if it was the only thing that happened he’d feel pretty bad. he liked it a lot when he was younger but he can live without it now.

p — pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

— he can do both. id depend on your preference and the mood. if he had to choose? maybe slow and rough. but really, he does not care.

q — quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)

— doesn’t really like them. he’s fine waiting until you two can be intimate. and he feels as if quickies aren’t real sex. it’s just getting each other off, and he doesn’t like that.

r — risk (are they willing to experiment? do they take risks?)

— he has, i mean he has to have done a few things at least once. as of now, not really. he knows what he and you like and would rather stick to that.

s — stamina (self explanatory)

— like i said before, only one.

t — toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on themselves or their partner?)

— he doesn’t think they really have a place in the bedroom. he wants to please you. it’s his job as your husband to do so! and if he can’t do that then.. unfortunate.

u — unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

— i think he would tease you sometimes. like withhold/prolong your orgasm. maybe not often but it’s something he does. he likes to see your facial expression, and how you scratch at his back when you whine.

v — volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)

— just grunts and groans. he’s not very loud but i’d be weird if he was just completely silent. you deserve to know you’re doing a good job too.

w — wild card (a random headcanon)

— he really, really loves holding down your hands when you fuck. like his hands around your wrists, that restriction and seeing you squirm around his hot to him! it is!

x — x-ray (what’s going on underneath?)

— like i mentioned, hairy. uhh. let me think. he’s a good size, maybe a solid 5-6. i can imagine he’s very thick, though. and that’s what really matters, no?

y — yearning (how high is their sex drive?

— he can live off sex once a week. twice maybe if he’s having trouble at work, but it’s quite low. but it is pretty high once he gets off whatever long term mission he was on.

z — zzz.. (how quickly they fall asleep)

— right after aftercare! so maybe, you have about 10-15 minutes to talk? if you’re in the shower or something, or if he has something right after, he’d be uncomfortably tired.

[vip3r-r]

Venture x shy reader HCs??

Smooth venture likes making reader flustered and tease them!! <333

You didn’t specify if they were already on a relationship with the reader so I did some coworkers to lovers type of HCs, I don’t really like how this own turned out because I talked more about what they would do instead of the actual reader reactions ??? Idk I just don’t like it but here you go

anywho I do believe venture would be a smooth operator. Yes they’re silly and goofy, but if they like someone?? Expect them to get the most smooth pick up lines ever (not only archeology pick up lines don’t worry) would probably offer you a rock while they eat the rest

Warning — probably bad spelling, no proof read, gender neutral reader

Imagine you were assigned to an expedition with venture

But instead of smiling and laughing with the ball of energy

You only nodded and went to do your own part of the job

Obviously this action switched something on ventures head, they HAD to make you smile, or at least try to

So what happens after that?? You’re running away from venture who is making you blush like crazy with the comments they made

“Are you an excavation site? Because I dig you” — “Let's pretend you're C14 so I can date you.” And some other pick up lines that absolutely made you melt (of cringe, maybe laughter, who knows)

They would be the type to “accidentally” touch your hand trying to grab something next to you knowing how you’ll react, you know they do it on purpose yet you don’t stop them

Tried to move you once out of they way, putting their hands on your waist looking at what they wanted to look at (still holding you) find whatever info they needed and leave like nothing happened

If venture is out on an expedition without you, they’ll bring the prettiest of rock that they could find, give it to you and say something cheesy just to see those red cheeks

Now if you two started dating, oh will venture play around

Pulling to a more private area of the cave and kissing you, and I mean like sloppy hot kiss where you tell them to stop but they don’t, you’re so worried about others finding you two likes this but venture only wants to taste your mouth a little longer :(

If you two go out on dates, venture would have a habit of holding you by the waist while in lines, talking to people, holding your thighs while sitting on restaurant, etc just because of that silly face you make, blushed face lips on a semi nervous smile, eyebrows curled up. They could be the happiest alive because of that face

Would Definitely say “Are you a Nahua priest? Because you’re totally holding my heart in your hands.” — “You must be an ancient ruin, because my jaw drops every time I see you.”