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dianneking · 7 months

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On The Seashore (Brienne x Reader)

Hi all! For my weekly fic challenge, @scream-queenlover suggested this prompt (#2584) @promptsforthestrugglingauthor :

"I'm tired of adventures. How about we just get married and stay home?" "I'm sorry…did you just fucking propose?”

You and Brienne have been adventuring together for years, and while you enjoy the friendship and camaraderie that the two of you share, you can't help but wish for more, maybe…but is it in the cards?

Tags: Brienne x Reader, AU - Canon Divergence, Swearing, Brienne is an adventurer, Aroace spectrum, Brienne is on the aroace spectrum, Friendly Banter, Dialogue-Heavy, Queerplatonic Vibes, Second Person POV, Reader is a woman.

I am not sure how it turned into a queerplatonic fic with a Brienne on the aro/ace spectrum but hey, happy belated aro/ace week. Link to AO3 in the title below:

On The Seashore

“I swear, if I have to shake sand from my boots one more time, I'll snap.” You grumbled, pulling once again your weathered traveling boots on your feet.

“Might I remind you that getting this close to the coastline was your idea, milady?”

“Brienne, it's been three years we're on the road together, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me by my name?”

You could see her lips slightly tilting upwards and you knew her dry wit was about to come out to play once more.

“One more time, milady.”

You snorted. “One more time, my ass. I haven't been a lady since we took to the road. Just a common adventurer, that's all.”

“There's absolutely nothing common about you, milady, and if anyone dares to even imply anything of the sort, I'd be ready to duel them.”

“Yeah we've learned that in Sandstone with that one guy who was a little bit too friendly…”

“He grabbed your arm!”

“I know but we were trying to keep a low profile and you beating him up didn't really…”

“He insulted your honor! And mine too!”

You sighed. “Yes I know. Let's try not to beat anyone up in this village though. I'd like to lay low for a while.”

“Well we still have half a day of walking in front of us before we get there, that is, if Your Grace doesn't keep stopping every ten minutes to shake sand off your precious feet.”

“Well excuse me for not wanting the whole beach in my boots.”

The two of you kept going towards the village, bickering as you had become accustomed to over the time spent together.

“This must be heaven!” You kicked your feet up, forgetting your previous adversity for the sand, your boots next to your wicker seat in the cool shade of the palm trees.

“You have pretty low standards for the afterlife, milady, if all you require is a seat in the shade.”

“Brienne! Was your mission successful?”

You looked up at her silhouette, the sun behind her transforming her short hair in a golden halo. She looked even more like a goddess than usual.

“I have drinks and I have work opportunities so yes, I'd say my mission was indeed successful. And no duels yet, so you can rest easily.”

She handed you a tankard, keeping the second one in her hand.

You lost no time chugging down the first half in a long sip.

“Ahhhhhh now that's something that was sorely missing in my heaven. A drink! I could kiss you right now, Brienne!”

She did not reply, taking a sip of her own tankard, but as she sat down in the wicker chair next to your own, you noticed her ears were slightly pinker. How had she managed to get sunburned in such a short time? Oh well, she was very fair-skinned so it probably took very little. That might be why she always had her hood or her helmet on most days. But the Dornian heat and the quiet reputation of this village had convinced even the uptight Brienne of Tarth to lighten her kit.

“So you were talking about work?”

She swallowed her drink and replied, her voice uncharacteristically flustered:

“Yes. Hmm, well, they're looking for night guards for their granary. They've had quite the bountiful harvest and they want to keep it safe until the village fair.”

“Are there actual threats to the granary?”

“Not really. Seems to be mostly a precaution.”

“So a cushy gig. How's the pay?”

“Not great, but they'd let us stay here at this cottage on the beach for free and add one golden coin each per week.”

“Sunshine, the seaside, free lodging and decent pay? Sign me up for life!”

“What about your beloved adventures? What about being a free spirit and roaming the world?”

"I'm tired of adventures. How about we just get married and stay here?"

The silence that followed alerted you that something was wrong. You turned to your companion.

“Brienne?”

She was looking at you as if you had sprouted a second head.

"I'm sorry...did you just fucking propose?”

Woah. Brienne of Tarth, swearing? That was almost unheard of from your very proper companion, and only in very serious situations.

Not that you’d mind. Marrying her, that is. Quite the contrary. The past three years had easily been the happiest of your life, and you knew it had to do with her. Her constant presence by your side, her dry humor, her unwavering support and loyalty…she had become a column you hadn’t even realized how much you were leaning against until you took a step back and allowed yourself to admire her. And she was beautiful. Gods, was she beautiful.

You set your tankard down beside your chair, and turned to her, lifting your chin, fixing your eyes in hers with equal parts trepidation and boldness.

“What if I did?”

“This is not a subject for jesting, milady!”

“Who said I was jesting? And for all the Gods, stop calling me milady like I am some sort of court princess.”

“But you cannot...We wouldn’t…We’re two women!”

“Believe me, I noticed.” You smirked up at her, letting your eyes roam her tall figure, allowing her to see the appreciation in your eyes. She spluttered, her face turning a bright red that had no correlation with her previous sun exposure. (Had her reddened ears from before also been…oh. Well. Who’d have known. You might even have a chance then.)

“Milady! I…That’s not appropriate! The law doesn’t-”

“Brienne. For once, this is not about the law, religion, traditions, nor customs.” You stood up, and placed your hands on the armrests of her seat, boxing her in. Tall as she was, her head was level with yours. You had never been so close to her. You could see beads of perspiration crowning her forehead, you could drown in the blueness of her eyes, wide open in shock, both at your boldness and at your closeness.

She hadn’t pushed you away though. That had to count for something.

“Brienne?”

“Y-yes?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, hesitant and softer than you’d ever heard before. This was not Brienne the warrior speaking. She was Brienne the woman.

The woman you’d fallen for.

“I am going to tell you something. You just say the word, and we won’t have to talk about this again. We’ll go back to our adventuring as it was before and nothing will have changed. But I don’t want you to think this is some sort of joke. I am serious.”

She nodded, and you could see her lower lip quivering slightly, and her eyes widening even more.

“There’s nobody else in the whole world I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Nobody else I would gladly take an arrow for, nobody else I want to guard my back as I guard theirs. If there’s anything that the past three years have taught me is that my days of lonely wandering are done, as long as I can have you by my side. Would…would you consider becoming more than just traveling companions?”

She bit her lip, and let her gaze drop to her knees, as if unable to look you in the eyes anymore.

Oh.

The silence stretched for what felt like ages. The usually pleasant sounds of waves crashing against the seashore and seagulls crying out to each other felt like a dissonant song to your ears, when all you wanted to hear was her voice.

But you guessed her silence was telling you all there was to know.

“Very well.” You tried to keep the disappointment out of your voice as you straightened up, hands detaching from the wicker armrests, setting your companion free once again. “I’ll just… go check the water’s temperature. Be back in a bit.”

You almost scoffed at yourself. Sure. Check the water temperature. Like you gave a damn about the ocean right now. It could all dry up for all you cared.

You resisted the urge to kick at the sand in anger and frustration though. Mainly because you knew Brienne could be watching you, and you wanted to keep what little decorum you could. How could you be so stupid? To think that she might return your feelings, that you might have a chance with her. Ha. Clearly the blazing sun of Dorne had burnt off your common sense.

You let the cool seawater lap at your bare feet, forcing yourself to look at the horizon and take a deep breath of salty breeze.

It was okay. You’d gone through heartbreak before. You’d move on.

Another deep intake of breath.

You would not allow those tears that you felt prickling at your eyelids to fall. You were a grown woman. An adventurer. Not a silly girl with a crush.

A third breath. You closed your eyes, focusing on the sounds of seagulls, trying to shove all the feelings back in the little blackened and beaten container you called heart.

“Nobody has ever told me that.”

“HOLY SH- Brienne, you almost gave me a heart attack!” You twirled towards her, a hand on your chest as you tried to get your breathing back in control. How a woman of her size had managed to sneak behind you without you noticing was a testament both to her athleticism and to how out of it you were.

She pinned you with her gaze, hard and unflinching. The soft, blushing Brienne was gone. This was Brienne the warrior, once again. You realized you had fallen for her, too.

“Nobody has ever…wanted me.” She said that as if it was part question, part accusation. You didn’t know what to make of it. You shrugged.

“Well, apparently they’re all dumb as rocks and with no functioning eyes.”

She snorted. An inelegant sound that you found as endearing as the rest of her.

“Seriously, Brienne. You probably have a lot of people that admire you from afar. I’m just the one with the least amount of self-preservation instincts of them all.”

“You seem to have been doing pretty well so far.”

“Well, if you don’t smite me for daring to punch above my weight, I should live to see another day!” You smiled up at her, cheekily, trying to lighten up the mood. You weren’t going to give up on the friendship and camaraderie you two had built together just because your advances had been turned down. A fool, you might be, but not an utter imbecile.

You could see her lips pull up at the corners in a tiny but unmistakable smile at your antics.

“There it is! The smile of mercy! I shall live somewhat longer! Yay!”

She shook her head and gave you a small shove, almost throwing you completely off-balance.

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I’ll take impossible as a title over milady anytime, so yep, that’s who I am! Also, please don’t throw me into the ocean, I can’t swim.”

“You can’t?”

“Nope! I’m a land rat, not a sea rat. Can you?”

“Of course! Everyone on Tarth learns how to.”

“Well, you’ll have to teach me at some point, but throwing me in is not how I’d like to go about it, thank you very much.”

Her hand landed on your shoulder, gripping it strongly, and you looked up to see that the smile had gone, and her expression was now closed off, and serious.

“I…wouldn’t be opposed to it.” She ground out, as if it was physically difficult for her to even say it.

“To teaching me how to swim?”

“No, to a… relationship. I…I like to spend time with you.” She looked like she was telling the truth but also like she was extremely uncomfortable doing so. You felt your heart break again, this time for her.

“As do I, but we can still have that. This is not an ultimatum, Brienne, I would never put you in that position.” Just the thought she would be willing to start a relationship she clearly wasn’t keen on not to lose your company was…both horrifying and heartwarming, to be honest.

“It’s not that. I…I am not good with…romance. It doesn’t come as easy to me as it seems to be for other people. I don’t know how to go about it.”

You put your own hand on top of hers, on your shoulder, trying to find the right words.

“Hey. There is no right or wrong way. And there is no hurry. We can give it a try and see where it goes. If not, we’ll just be good friends that adventure together, alright?”

She seemed to ponder this, her eyes on your hand covering her own. You gave her the time to do so.

“I would like that.”

You smiled tenderly up at her. This was so hard for her, always used to be the paradigm of perfection, of valor, of morals. The fact that she was able to challenge herself enough to go out on a limb with a relationship for you, of all people, made your heart skip a beat in your chest.

“We will take things as slowly as you’d like, and you feel free to tell me at any time if you’re uncomfortable, okay?”

You could see the tension leave her eyes, and her face opened up in a hopeful smile.

“You’d do that…for me?”

“But of course! We have all the time in the world, milady!” You smirked, throwing the title back at her and seeing her resigned grimace at the nickname.

“No more miladys, alright?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for years! Now. That drink is getting warm and that’s not something we can allow. Shall we?”

You gallantly offered her your hand to hold in a very bad imitation of a nobleman asking a woman at court to dance. She shook her head, but accepted your hand, and you both turned your back to the sun, looking at your conjoined shadows on the sand in front of you with a look of incredulous joy on both of your faces.

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dangermousie · 1 year

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Top Dozen 2023 drama MLs so far

It's August, so not the end of the year, neither it is at halfway year mark, but why would I ever do anything like a normal person? Here my very very subjective list. I have limited myself to one dude per drama or LYF would be half the list. No order except alphabetical.

Chen Wende (Sun Yizhou in Gone With the Rain, China)

The epic troll lord stole the whole drama as competently as he stole the FL's heart. He was competent and adult and oh-so-amused by but also gone for the heroine.

Gu Jiusi (Bai Jing Ting in Chang Feng Du/Destined, China)

CFD lost steam for me halfway through but Jiusi's character remained a delight throughout and BJT gave a great performance as a golden boy who went through a bunch of hell and grew up but remained goodnatured at heart.

Han Dong Jin (Kim Young Kwang in Call It Love, Korea)

You know, he and Jing (from LYF1) really fit the same mold even if one is in a mellow realistic modern and another in xianxia - lovely traumatized people from monster families who win over heroine with a metric ton of baggage through sheer unswerving decency. I have a type.

Jang Uk (Lee Jae Wook in Alchemy of Souls s2, Korea)

I loved Uk in S1 and S2 continued that love - he's so intense, so grieving, so still in love with Naksu. LJW is always a good actor so it's such a pleasure to see him in a good role.

Kim Do Ha (Hwang Min Hyun, My Lovely Liar, Korea)

The year of surprises - Minhyun, who I found utterly wooden in AoS stole my heart here as this hopeful, traumatized sweetheart of a man.

Kim Moo Chan (Park Hae Jin, The Killing Vote, Korea)

Yeah, we are only one ep in but who said anything about this list was objective? PHJ brings his usual unsettling intensity to the role of a cop who breaks all the rules and teeters on the edge and now is set to catch a killer who really only differs from him in a matter of degree.

Lee Jang Hyun (Nam Goong Min in My Dearest, Korea)

If I had to pick a favorite ML from this list, it would be between him and Jing (LYF). This is basically if you took Rhett Butler and took out slavery and rape but gave him a sword. The character is complex and nuanced and NGM is giving his usual incredible performance.

Lee Rang (Kim Bum in Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938, Korea)

I was not a Rang fangirl for most of the original (even if he was well-acted; and he did win me over by the end) but I fell for him head over heels in this sequel/prequel/spin-off. I am so happy the man who believed he had nobody and was abandoned by everybody ends the story with his beloved brother and his beloved woman, both.

Moon Seo Ha (Ahn Bo Hyun in See You in My 19th Life, Korea)

A lot of MLs on this list have serious trauma and haunted by it and can't let go of their past love (I have a type) but even by those standards, Seo Ha was such a lovely, quiet person slowly healing.

Tantai Jin (Luo Yunxi in Till the End of the Moon, China)

Abuse victim/monster/praiseworthy king/xianxia saint/man on the brink - LYX portrayed a character in multiple timelines and many different complexities and did it amazingly. Tantai Jin may or may not win my favorite place on this list, but his performance was hands-down the most glorious thing this year.

Tushan Jing/Ye Shiqi (Deng Wei in Lost You Forever part 1, China)

If before LYF aired someone would have told me that a character played by Deng Wei, an actor I've always found eminently forgettable, would make it on this list and be in the running to win the whole thing actually, I'd have wondered what weird reality they came from. They somehow managed to make someone genuinely good and kind not in the least boring; I am ridiculously invested in the man who managed to keep his soul after all he's been through.

Yun Xiang (Chen Xiao in The Ingenuous One, China)

A schemer on a revenge quest, smarter than anyone else in the room but helpless in front of love. Yun Xiang was an adult in an adult story for adults and it was glorious.

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alpaca-clouds · 2 months

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My Personal Companion Ranking

I saw so many people doing this, and now I kinda feel inclined, because we are going on a full year and the brainworms are still strong.

Halsin: I wrote about this before. I love this man just so much. Again: He does not need to help you. Sure, he comes along to the Shadowcursed lands in the hope to solve the problem that he feels responsible for, but afterwards... He is not responsible for the player character and the origins. Also, he is so big and sweet and gives the cutest kisses. <3

Lae'zel: Toad girl! Ironically I could not stand her originally. But then, on my second playthrough I accidentally romanced her, and I went like: "Oh my god, baby girl, you are so messed up! Let me hug you!" And yeah, now I am obsessed with her. I especially love her development in the game, when you oppose Vlaakith. Even though I like the idea most of all, of her dealing with her feelings towards Shadowheart (and possibly Karlach).

Astarion: Yes, I know, he is surprisingly not my absolute favorite, though I do identify with him a lot. And I just love him with my Tav. I will also say, that the version of Astarion I like so much is especially the one in my head, to whom I gave already so much character development and stuff after the end of the game.

Shadowheart: She is another one, who I originally did not like a whole lot. I was originally so annoyed with her and Lae'zel bickering and with the entire "Shar this! Shar that!" stuff. But while it took the second playthrough for me to warm up to Lae'zel, I got behind Shadowheart after saving Aylin and her becoming a Selûnite. I especially love how she centers herself during Act 3 again. And I love her stupid little jokes and pranks.

Jaheira: No long text. No deep reason. I just love her sarcastic ass.

Karlach: I love Karlach as a character. However, I still do not love what the game does with her. I love how she still finds joy in life after everything. She has such a tragic backstory and all that, but she still has joy, still wants to help people, and still is just good. But oh boy. I hate how much her companion quest is a non-quest. I hate how little interactions you really get with her in act 3, especially if she is not romanced. I just dislike how little care she got in the end of the game.

Wyll: Kinda like Karlach. It is not that I dislike him as a character, but he is just so clearly underwritten and gets shafted by the writers. So... Yeah. Admittedly, I also could not quite get into her whole "Heroism, please recognize my name" stick. But most of all it is just... how little content there is.

Gale: Okay, hear me out. Originally he was among my favorites for the game. But the longer I had him in my team (he does tons of damage in the end), the more annoyed I got with him. No, not because he is a know it all (I can identify with that), but mostly because he won't shut up about fucking Mystra. Yes, partly this is an issue with the dialogue options given to me, less than with Gale. But I just... I reached the point by the half of Act 2 where I was like: Let me shake this man and scream at him. "Mystra is a fucking groomer. Let's just please go and fucking kill her!"

Minsc: I do not dislike him. And my Tav definitely is vibing with him. However... He really feels more like a joke character, and I am not laughing.

My standard party usually still consist of my player character + Astarion + Karlach/Lae'zel (depending on my mood) + Gale. Though with my Durge I currently try a run on Durge + Shadowheart + Lae'zel + Astarion/Halsin.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #halsin #astarion #lae'zel #shadowheart

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asravenous · 1 month

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slice of pi

task: write a self-para of your character presenting their talent. evening (sometime between 6–8pm), the spare room september 7th 2005 with mrs. tristan & the rest of the wards

The whole thing was outrageously absurd. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how Mrs. Tristan had come to the conclusion that a talent show in the middle of the week would be the perfect way to raise their spirits. To take their minds off grief? Vikram shifted uneasily in his seat as Celia and Angus performed a cello and violin duet. All the announcement had given him today was even more grief — once he came to terms with the miserable reality of being asked to perform at a “family” talent show at thirty — the irritation slowly simmering under the surface, like an itch he couldn’t scratch.

He still had half a mind to sit out of this one. Being sentenced to wash dishes didn’t sound completely awful. Tiring and laborious, sure. But awful? That was yet to be determined. Given that the threat of menial labor came after their day at the greenhouse, however… He was sure the rest would choose to stand in the center of the room, subjected to 16 pairs of eyes.

Joining in the discordant applause, Vikram looked on as Mrs. Tristan pulled out the next name out of her head. Alison. Not him, which meant he could still sit in the shadows and continue mulling over his decision. He stared at the table in front of him, zoning out as he played with his food.

“Vikram dear, are you participating?”

Without his knowledge, his name had been drawn out of the hat. That either meant Alison finished her performance and he missed it in its entirety or she had withdrawn. How long did he not pay attention, anyway? He took a moment to compose himself, looking up from his plate and meeting Mrs. Tristan’s eyes.

“Yeah,” he mumbled dumbly, not immune to her expectant gaze. It was always hard to say no to Mrs. Tristan, having relied on her all those years he spent in Woodrow. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head in assent.

“Yes,” loud and clear this time, “sorry, I’ll make my way there now.”

“Perfect!” She clapped her hands, equal parts relieved and delighted that he didn’t refuse. You could never be too sure with Vikram, in spite of his apparent predictability at times. “Come now, sweetheart, I can’t wait to watch what you’ve prepared.”

Unfortunately, Vikram thought sullenly as he walked over to the makeshift stage, I haven’t prepared anything. He didn’t share the same musical talents as Reece, Celia or Angus. River as well, odd as his performance was. As far as talent shows went, the acts presented thus far were pretty much standard fare. Celebration of Richard’s love of the arts, indeed. Too bad he couldn’t just pluck any of the pieces he made in Ceramics Club as a teen and showcase them here. By this point, everyone had already seen those.

Finally taking center stage, standing in front of people who were simultaneously familiar and strange, all Vikram could feel was his own heartbeat thudding in his ribcage. Awkwardness and a general unease encompassed his lanky body, as much as he tried to present himself otherwise. The confrontation with Talia that night aside, he hadn’t felt this way in years. Not even when he first started giving lectures in front of hundreds of students.

“Well…” he started off, stalling a little for time as he quickly racked his brain for something he could do on the spot. “I can’t say I can hold a tune like some of us, even though I might have pestered you guys to teach me when we were younger.”

There’s a wry laugh at that — his own. If anyone else had reacted, Vikram couldn’t hear while he balanced being in his head and being present. Always a toss-up. He couldn’t have both without giving up one thing or another.

“It’s a shame I didn’t keep up with any arts or crafts. Watching the lot of you performing while having dinner was an amazing experience. Honestly, they deserve another round of applause,” he paused for a bit, clapping as well. His posture straightened, confidence growing the more he spoke. “I can’t wait to watch what the rest have lined up as I finish my dinner.”

Knowing his own tendency for going down a rabbit hole every now and then, he had picked up a few too many things over the years. At best, they were mildly useful and at worst? They served no purpose, shelved away to the back of his mind. Maybe it was time to blow the dust off at least one of them.

“It got me thinking: the dinner we had together on Monday featured some of his favorite dishes. Dessert was apple pie à la mode,” Vikram squinted a bit then, the spotlight suddenly feeling a little too bright; the segue into what he wanted to do a little too forced for his liking. Being put on the spot really tested the limits of his creativity. Perhaps he should’ve done an introductory class on How to Bullshit instead of Physics, with the way this was going.

“So here’s my favorite slice of pi. Just one hundred digits of it.” Light work, really. But boring them with anything more than that would be overkill, wouldn’t it? “Three point one four one five nine two six five three five…”

“…eight nine seven nine three two three eight four six two six…”

“… four three three eight three two seven nine five zero two eight…”

“…eight four one nine seven one six nine three nine nine three…”

“…seven five one zero five eight two zero nine seven four nine…”

“…four four five nine two three zero seven eight one six four…”

“…zero six two eight six two zero eight nine nine eight six…”

“…two eight zero three four eight two five three four two one…”

“…one seven zero six seven,” he finished, slightly bowing his head in thanks before using those long legs of his to walk briskly back to his seat.

#wrhq.task #vm.e #caught slacking again mb guys 😞#i was gonna write more but then realised him memorising pi had nothing to do with richard #what a nerd omfg loserrrrr

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nocturius8015ficore · 4 months

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**UPDATED VERSION September 24**

Nocturius: My second fanfiction about Fi and Parja. That one is a bit on a more serious tone, but it's full of sweetness. Enjoy. ^^

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Fandom: Star Wars Republic Commando books by Karen Traviss

Characters: Fi Skirata and Parja

Rating: Family-friendly ** Fairly accessible to people who don’t know RepCom **

Topic: Slice of life, dissociative disorder, anxiety, romance

Pitch: Parja found Fi alone outside and he looked like he is in a strange mood.

That was a cloudy day at Kyrimorut. Fi was outside, sitting on a low cobblestone wall. His eyes was unfocused, deep in his thoughts.

‘‘There you are, cyar’ika!’’ said his wife Parja, finally finding him. ‘’Why didn't you tell anyone you were there?’’

‘’So, do I need paperworks to leave my own house? A chaperone?’’ he said with a smirk, turning himself in his clown-clone-mode in a blink.

‘’You didn’t answer my messages. I was worried.’’

‘’I’m sorry about it… I think I left it somewhere.’’ his eyes were glazing again.

Parja looked at him, the datapad was next to him on the wall, very obvious. There was even the tiny bleeping light of unread notifications. She took it in her hands and sat by his side.

‘’It doesn’t matter, I’m here now.’’

‘’Yeah…’’

She put an arm around his waist.

‘’What is going on, Fi? You look lost.’’

‘’I’m fine.’’

‘’I know you better than that, sweety.’’ she smiled at him and held his hand.

He slowly looked down at their entangled hands and tilted his head to touch hers.

‘’You are right, I'm not fine. I’m worried. Full of doubts and fears.’’

‘’About what? The Empire?’’

‘’I’m not sure. My purpose here, my short life, you and me. Kad. Everything.’’

‘’If it’s everything, that only means you can’t do it all by yourself then. We are here, we can help.’’

‘’There is not much I can do. People already did so much for me, I don’t want to be a burden anymore. Especially not for you. I'm still young but I feel I’m in debt. What will it be in 10 years, when I’ll be an old man? ‘’

‘’In 10 years, you won’t be THAT old, even by clones standards, so you have enough to look forward to.’’

‘’What if I have nothing more to offer? I’m no longer a fighter, I’m half of the funny man I was…’’

‘’That’s not true. It’s not because you acknowledge other parts of yourself that mean you are less funny. You always had unrealistic expectations about how you should present yourself to the world. Yes, you tell less jokes, but it’s only because life IS hard. Negative emotions are important too. You have been through more osik’la than I could even imagine, Fi.’’

‘’We got a pretty messed up mind being trained by aiwas-baits. When you are expected to be over 97% accuracy shooting on target. More for a sniper like me. Displaying any weakness and you’re ‘’reconditioned’’. My squad, they counted on me. I had to be hard on myself my whole life to survive.’’

‘’Maybe it’s time for you to learn how to live instead of only surviving.’’

‘’I guess you are right…’’

Fi leaned toward his lover and let his lips touch hers. He let himself be absorbed by the softness of the moment, his eyes closed.

‘’Parja… you are everything.’’ he said in a breath before kissing her neck.’’

‘’Kar’tayl gar darasuum, time will slow for us I promise. Be with me, be in the moment.‘’

Fi-Core/Nocturius 5th of March 2024 / Updated 24th of September

#repcomm #republic commando #fi-core #fi skirata #fi #fi x parja #parja bralor #Parja #Kyrimorut #mental health #dissociative disorder #anxiety

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27dragons · 9 months

Text

New Year Countdown: Dec 30

I forgot again! I was actually going to sleep last night and thought, "oh shit, did I remember to post?" and then thought, "yes, of course I did" with the full memory of shuffling around my file and everything. Bad memory, no cookie! So for yesterday's belated post, have some Cyberpunk Steve/Tony, and since I'm going out tonight, I'll put tonight's post in the queue for later.

Dec 30 - Stony - Cyberpunk AU - Fireworks

It always took Tony a few minutes to recover when he dropped his connection to the Net. The nanites were so fast, faster than thought, and if he dumped them without the proper procedures, he’d be half-stunned, unable for a few minutes to think properly or even move his body without tripping over himself.

So he kept his eyes closed, breathing carefully and counting the beats of his heart until the spaces between them seemed merely slow and not interminable.

When he did open his eyes, Steve was standing in front of him, waiting patiently. “You back in the real world?”

Steve wasn’t wearing his smart armor, just a standard BPV, so the situation couldn’t be too bad. “The Net is real,” Tony said for probably the thousandth time. “But yeah, I’m back in meatspace. What’s up, Cap?”

“Not sure,” Steve admitted. “There’s rumors floating around that something’s going to happen down by the river. I thought we should go check it out.”

“No idea what?” Tony wondered. “You want me to dive back in, see what I can dig up in the Shadows?” He tapped at the housing embedded in his chest that maintained the nanites when they weren’t in use.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Netters,” he said, fondly exasperated. “I thought we could go check it out in person.”

“Old man,” Tony shot back at him, grinning. “You spend all your free time pining for the old days, don’t you?” He reached for his overcoat. It wasn’t armor, but it was lined with protective panels, and besides, it was cold out there. “Who’s staying here to keep an eye on the children?”

Predictably, Steve said, “Bucky.”

“And who’s going to keep an eye on Bucky?” Tony teased.

Steve shoved Tony playfully -- and gently, because despite his grousing about the danger of too much cyber enhancement, Steve’s skeleton and musculature were boosted and he could put Tony through a wall if he didn’t keep a tight rein on his strength.

They made their way out to the street and headed toward the river. “What do you think we’re going to find?” he wondered. Steve didn’t seem tense, like he was expecting trouble, but he did seem a little nervy.

“Don’t know,” Steve admitted. “You know, you spent the whole day in the Net. Must be hungry; want to stop at Joey’s for a burger on the way?” He waved at the diner’s signpost, just half a block from where they were passing.

“You don’t want to chase this thing down first?” That wasn’t much like Steve.

“From what I’ve heard, we’ve got some time.”

Tony shot Steve a suspicious look, but he seemed not to notice. “...Sure. Burger would be good, actually.”

Steve drew Tony into a discussion about the latest smartlink upgrades as they ate, and then they bickered lazily about whether Bucky should let Tony work on his cyberware or if he’d be better off going to WakandaTek for maintenance, and Tony forgot about his concerns. By the time they left Joey’s, they were well into a threadbare old argument about enhancements for Steve’s holoshield.

It wasn’t until the first explosion made Tony all but jump out of his skin that he remembered why they were wandering the streets in midwinter. “Fuck!” he gasped, ducking into an alley for cover and looking around wildly. “What was that?”

Steve looked up into the sky, and Tony followed his gaze. Against the purplish glow of the city’s night sky was a sparkling glitter of lights.

Steve grabbed Tony’s wrist. “Come on, it’s starting!” He tugged, and Tony was helpless to do anything but follow.

Another explosion lit up the sky with jewels of color and light. “Fireworks?” Tony said. “Your mysterious something was fireworks? You tricked me into a patrol to... what, get dinner and watch fireworks?” He blinked as the obvious answer occurred. “Is this a date, Steve?”

Steve shot Tony a slightly sheepish smile. “Well... yeah. If you want it to be.”

Crowds were gathering, now that it was apparent the explosions were benign, but there was no one there who knew them. Tony leaned into Steve’s warmth and looked up at the blooming colors in the sky, and smiled as Steve’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“Happy New Year.”

#my writing #countdown to 2024 #stony #cyberpunk au

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sortofanobsession · 1 year

Note

Roy/Jamie prompt: Everyone goes crazy when Zava invites them to his house for a “Wellness Gathering". Everyone goes but Jaime. Fed up with his "attitude" Roy goes to Jamie's and confronts him. Instead of getting angry Jamie just deflates and looks incredibly sad. " Happy fookin' birthday to me then." He says actually tearing up before he shuts the door in Roy's face. Roy can only go back to Zava's in a daze and reveal this massive screw up. Everyone is guilty, even Zava. Can they fix this?

A/N: I wanted to get this out today so bad I neglected doing my actual job, but that's not as bad as it sounds. I have all day tomorrow to do it. But I loved this prompt.

I changed one thing. Roy starts out dazed but then gets very angry very fast. But hopefully I hit every other note right. And I snuck in some Roy/Jamie at the end because my shipper heart doesn't know how to NOT write that.

Ao3

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Word count: 6k+

Paring(like last time): Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt, Roy & Keeley (platonic), Jamie & Keeley (Platonic), the afc Richmond himbos being themselves.

Content warning: neglect, self-esteem issues based in years of abuse and neglect, anger, swearing, angst/comfort, depression, anxiety, exhaustion

The team forgets, but twitter doesn't

Zava had invited the whole team over for a wellness gathering. Roy would rather punch himself in the face than go, but Ted had said it would be good for the team, like some team bonding shit. When Jamie didn't show up, Roy was pissed. If he had to sit through this, so did that little prick. Jamie had wanted back on this team. He should be acting like it. Not acting like a baby that just had his favorite toy taken from him. Fucking childish, even by Tartt's standards. He needed an attitude adjustment, and it seemed Roy was going to have to do it because clearly, Ted wasn't going to. So he left the team and went to Jamie's flat. He pounded on Jamie's door until he answered.

"Thought you were all about being a team player. The fuck is wrong with you?" Roy asks as soon as Jamie opens the door. He doesn't even really look at Jamie until after he does. "Too busy for team bonding now or just too good for it?"

Roy didn't know what he had been expecting, a snarky comeback, a half-meant apology maybe, but not the reaction he got. Jamie seemed to curl in on himself.

"Happy fuckin' birthday to me," Jamie mutters with a sniffle. Roy is horrified to see tears not only in Jamie's eyes but trailing down his face. Jamie just closes the door in Roy's face. Roy is too stunned to even react. Normally he would be livid if someone did that. But that felt more like a sucker punch than an insult.

Fuck. He took his phone out and looked at his calendar and then at the team calendar. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There it was in black and white on the calendar Ted insisted they make after that first birthday celebration for Sam. Back when Roy was still a player. When he was captain. How had they fucked this up? Was Zava really that much of a fucking distraction? He looked up from his phone back to Jamie's closed door. Yeah, Roy was going to raise hell on this. Fuck! He rushed back to his car and drove back to Zava's. He ignored all the questions and odd looks he got until he found Ted.

"Give me your fucking phone," Roy demanded.

"Well, you don't look like you are-"

"FUCKING PHONE NOW!"

"Okay, here," Ted says, unlocking his phone and handing it to a very angry Roy Kent. Ted wasn't sure the last time he had seen Roy this mad. Roy opened up Ted's calendar and found the same thing he had on his own. Jamie Tartt's Birthday as an all-day event. He does his best to ignore Zava's complaints that Roy was not being very mindful or zen right now. And Roy wanted to punch him in the face, but he kept his focus on Ted.

"What is the fucking point of a team calendar if you all FUCKING IGNORE IT!" Roy seethes as he throws Ted's phone back at him.

"What?" Ted scrambles a bit to catch his phone. He looks at the calendar and realizes Roy is right. They'd missed something very important.

"Oh no," is all Ted manages at first.

"FUCKING RIGHT OH NO!"

"What did we miss?" Sam asks.

"See for your fucking selves!" Roy shouted before putting his own phone to his ear. "Fucking fix it if you want half a chance at having a fucking team next match." Roy winces. "Sorry, Keeley," he says into his phone. "I need your help-" is all the team hears as Roy heads back outside.

"Oh shit," Colin says when he looks at his phone. "How does half of Twitter remember it's Jamie Tratt's birthday, and we didn't."

"Because we are terrible teammates," Isaac says what they are all thinking.

"Poor Jamie," Sam says. He felt like a terrible friend. Jamie had worked so hard to be a team player, especially after the protest, and they failed him. Jamie had stood with him then, even when he did not understand what Sam was feeling. But Jamie had stepped up. And they all had forgotten him. He would never forgive himself. "We have to make this right."

"You what?!" Keeley wishes she could reach through the phone and smack Roy. "Not only did YOU forget his birthday, but the whole team also did, AND Ted. AND you all went to Zava's. On Jamie's birthday. Then you fucking yelled at him! ROY!"

"I know!" Roy growls. "I fucked up. We fucked up."

"I didn't. I texted him happy birthday and offered to take him out on his next off day because I couldn't get away from the office today. You spend every day with him, Roy. I'll call him, but you guys better fix this."

"We will. I will."

"Good."

"Why isn't he answering his phone?" Dani asks as he tries to call Jamie again.

"Because he was fucking devastated, you fucking twat," Roy grits out as he rejoins them. "Fucking tears in his eyes when he slammed the door in my face. And I fucking deserved it. Because I followed you fucking idiots here. Acting like you have a new fucking god-king. Well fucking brilliant job. We fucking broke the new and improved Jamie fucking Tartt. Fucking cheers!"

"He was crying?" Guilt seems to hit Dani Rojas like a brick. "Our Jamie? That's bad. We are bad."

"Zava did not know it was Tartt's birthday. Do you usually do something for birthdays?" Zava asks.

"We do," Isaac says. "And Coach is right. We are idiots."

"Then Zava says fix it."

"We're trying, but he won't answer anyone."

"Then try harder."

"How is he?" Roy asks when Keeley calls him.

"A fucking mess, Roy. What did you expect?"

"How bad?"

"Like I had to call him twice before he picked up. He barely said anything and probably crawled into his bed and hasn't gotten out since you left. So go back over there and make it up to him. And he might still keep a spare key in his cubby. I told him it was probably not safe, but he has locked himself out of his own flat too many times."

"Thanks, Keeley," Roy says earnestly.

"Don't thank me, just fix this. Jamie has been doing so well. This could really set him back."

"I know," Roy admits.

Roy finds the key exactly where Keeley had told him it would be. And she was right. Anyone could have taken it at any time. Roy might actually keep it himself or at least lock it up in his office. But that was something to think about later. He headed back out to his car. He had picked up a few things and was headed over to Jamie's.

He knocked a few times but wasn't surprised when Jamie didn't answer. When it was clear, Jamie wasn't going to answer. Roy used the key. He felt bad doing it, but the little voice in his head was terrified that Jamie was in worse shape than he had let on when talking to Keeley. He knew the little prick would try and be the least burden to her since she was busy.

"What the fuck?!" Jamie says when he sees Roy fucking Kent in his kitchen. "Did you break into my house?"

"Keeley said you kept a key in your cubby," Roy says.

"For emergencies!" Jamie shouts at him. "You're lucky I didn't call the police. Or bash your head in with a bat or something!"

"And you'd have every right to do it," Roy tells him. "Because I fucked up, Jamie. We all did. I see that now and-"

"You broke into my flat because of my birthday?"

"Because I should have known. I'm your fucking coach."

Jamie doesn't know what to say. Part of him doesn't like the fact that Roy actually looks more sad than mad. And that was something Jamie just didn't know how to handle. He has to fight the urge to comfort Roy. And that is an impulse he has not had. Ever. And that frustrates him because he is already miserable. And now he is standing like an idiot in his own kitchen in a t-shirt and boxers having confusing feelings for his coach. Could the universe hate him more?

As if Roy could read his mind. Or maybe just the way Jamie's fists were now twisted up in his shirt, and he was glaring a hole into his counter. Roy stopped, setting the takeaway he was unpacking down, and went over and just hauled Jamie into a hug as he had after that disaster of a Man City game the last season. Just like in Manchester, Jamie tensed violently at first.

"I'm sorry, Jamie. I really am. You deserve a good birthday. You have done so well. And we fucked up. You didn't deserve this. Don't deserve to be alone on your fucking birthday." Roy said with a gentle tone Jamie had never heard directed at him, and something inside shattered completely.

Jamie went absolutely weak and just cried. He cried because he missed having someone that cares. He missed having someone touch him. Hug him. The team was so busy swooning over Zava that he didn't even get celebratory hugs. Because what had Jamie done to deserve a hug? Zava did all the work, according to Zava. And it twists Jamie's stomach in knots to think about. He just cries harder. And Roy is mostly at a loss, but he does grip tighter to keep Jamie from falling now that Roy had taken the younger man's weight. And Roy did not mind one bit. He would ignore the slight ache in his bad knee. It was a punishment he would endure for the turmoil he and the others had put Jamie through.

"It's okay," Roy says into Jamie's hair. "I got you." After a few minutes like that, Jamie seems to have cried himself out and pulls away with an embarrassed laugh. He can't look Roy in the eye as he scrubs at his face.

"Sorry," Jamie mumbles. His hands went back to his shirt.

"Nothing to apologize for," Roy says as he goes back to unpacking the food.

"My birthday, and I'll cry if I want to, innit?" Jamie tries to laugh it off, but his attempt at a grin doesn't actually reach his eyes. But Roy does grin. That was at least closer to the Jamie he knew.

"Yeah," Roy says as he sets a cupcake Keeley had insisted he brings even though Roy isn't sure he ever saw Jamie eat sweets. He knew Jamie kept a stricter diet than most of them, and Roy had theories on that. He was pretty sure it had something to do with his dad insisting he be the best. That he not be a soft baby child. And that had something twisting in Roy's chest. Between that thought and the fact Jamie was standing there awkwardly half-dressed with his hand doing that ridiculously adorable thing in his shirt that he always does in his kit because he doesn't have pockets. And hold the fuck up. Did he just imply Jamie was being adorable? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Nope, he cannot be thinking that about one of his players, especially Jamie fucking Tartt. Fuck no. But dammit Jamie looked so fucking vulnerable standing in his own kitchen with tussled hair, red-rimmed eyes, and tear tracks on his face, and whatever walls Roy had built up came crashing down. Fuck. Focus. Don't be a fucking prick. Jamie was vulnerable because Roy fucked up. Jamie was in tears because Roy didn't pay enough attention. This was Roy's fault.

Jamie looks between Roy and the cupcake.

"Happy Birthday, Jamie," Roy starts. "I know it isn't much, but-"

He is cut off by a very different type of hug. This one wasn't about Jamie needing someone to comfort him. This one seemed more like Jamie wanted to show how much he appreciated the gesture but didn't have the words for it. And it had caught Roy off guard, earning a huffed half laugh, half grunt from the older man.

Roy had to pull away this time because the hug had gotten ridiculously long, and Jamie was still just in a shirt and boxers, and there was a line they were both dangerously close to crossing.

"Go get some clothes on, and we can eat and watch whatever rubbish you usually watch on that TV of yours."

Jamie laughs and actually smiles as he nods.

"Put on whatever," Jamie starts, but a mischievous grin appears as he continues. "As long as it's not some ol' war documentary that you granddads love so much."

"Fuck off," Roy says, but he is betrayed by his own grin. He balls up a paper bag from the takeaway and throws it at Jamie. "Put on some fucking trousers, Tartt, before this goes cold."

"Okay, coach," Jamie heads off to his room, and Roy lets himself relax. Roy finds what he needs to make tea and then sets to plating the food. But he was only half focused on the physical tasks. His mind was a mess of his own making. Fuck he was glad to see some normalcy return to Jamie's behavior. Roy would put up with every old man joke. He'd endure every barb and dig Jamie would send his way today. Because he just wanted his Jamie back. His Jamie. Fuck. Roy was in a bind here. Because he was right. Jamie hadn't been himself since Zava joined the team, and Roy had chalked it up to jealousy that Jamie wasn't the star anymore, but now Roy knew otherwise. Jamie wasn't jealous of Zava being the one people cheered for. No, this was team player Jamie losing his team. His friends. If the fact even Sam and Dani dropped the ball on this means this is a much bigger problem than just forgetting his birthday.

Roy had to bite his cheek to keep from doing anything stupid when Jamie came back in comfiest looking pullover and trackies. Roy mentally smacked himself at the thought of just wanting to snuggle right in there with him. And fuck, that was a ridiculous thought. So instead, he slid Jamie the food he had plated for him while he was getting dressed.

"For the record, this may not be the kind of emergency you kept a key in your cubby for, but it was important enough for Keeley to tell me."

Jamie winces between bites. "I bet she had some very choice words for you when you called."

"She fucking did," Roy set a cup of tea in front of Jamie before going to get his own food and sitting down. "And it was deserved."

Jamie just nods, and it is quiet for a bit as they eat. When Jamie was done, Roy slid the cupcake toward him again. Jamie looked between it and Roy.

"Hope you don't expect some sort of birthday song because that is not fucking happening," Roy grunts.

Jamie laughs. "I don't usually eat sweets, but well, it's my birthday…split it?"

And how could Roy say no to that? He grunts and nods. Jamie grins as he hops up and gets a knife, and it's a messy split, but he manages. He gives Roy half. Roy grunts again because his brain might actually have short-circuited as the younger man licks frosting from his own fingers. And Roy had not expected that to do things to him, but it does. So he focuses on his half of the cupcake.

"Happy Birthday, Jamie," he manages to say.

"Thanks," Jamie says with a smile that was almost too soft for what he was used to seeing from Jamie. And Roy had to look away and focus on his own half of the cupcake again. They end up watching Neverending Story because Jamie had never seen it, and Roy was worried it might be a bit much and hit too close to home but despite a few more years from Jamie. Jamie had loved it. And Roy was glad.

"I meant it earlier when I said we fucked up. Ted takes this shit seriously, and he knows he fucked it this time."

"You…you told Ted?" Jamie is not sure if that's a good thing or not.

"Told them all," Roy tells him.

"What?" Jamie asks. And Jamie looks like he might be sick, and that sets off alarms in Roy's brain.

"Jamie-"

"Just one more thing for them to hate me for," Jamie laments and begins to close himself off again. And fuck no, that's not happening on Roy's watch.

"None of that," Roy grunts. He reaches over and pulls Jamie across the cushion that separates them on the sofa. He doesn't stop until Jamie is tucked tight against his shoulder, under his arm. "Don't fucking cut yourself off like that, you fucking prick. I'm trying to help you."

"Didn't ask you to," Jamie states.

"Didn't fucking have to. That's what friends do."

"So we're friends?"

"Fuck off," Roy grumbles but pulls Jamie in tighter. "But yeah, get fucking used to it." Jamie just laughs and nods and focuses on whatever was on the TV now. Not even caring about it at all because Jamie was warm and comfortable, and he didn't want it to end.

Roy wasn't surprised that Jamie seemed absolutely drained by 10, and somehow Jamie didn't fight him on getting him to go to bed. What shocked him was when Jamie told him to stay, and every alarm was going off in Roy's head again, telling him it was a very bad idea, but he still stayed. Roy told himself it was because they had hurt him so badly and that Jamie was vulnerable and didn't want to be alone. It wasn't anything bad. It was just making sure Jamie got actual rest because, from the look of him recently, he hadn't been sleeping well.

Jamie slept great for the first time in what felt like ages. And he woke up warm and actually comfortable, and without even thinking, he snuggled closer to the warm body that was wrapped around him. And then he remembers what had happened and who the other body was. Roy fucking Kent. His childhood hero had crawled into his bed when Jamie had begged him not to leave. And Jamie was now very worried about what was going to happen when Roy woke up.

"Whatever you are thinking, you can fuck right off with it," Roy grumbles. Jamie goes to pull away, and Roy doesn't let him.

Jamie still feels tense against him.

Roy figures they already crossed a line. "It's a fucking cuddle, Tartt. Consider it your actual fucking birthday gift, and go back to sleep. Training isn't for hours."

And Jamie does because when is he ever going to get this chance again? A morning lie-in with Roy fucking Kent!

Jamie radiated nervous energy from where he sat in the passenger seat of Roy's car when they got to Nelson Road. He'd taken convincing to let him drive that he was already there and didn't mind one bit. Would be stupid to both drive. It was easy enough to drop Jamie back home at the end of the day. No problem. But now Roy was wondering if this was how Jamie was every morning since Zava joined.

"Hey," Roy reaches over and puts his palm on the back of Jamie's neck. He feels some of the tension release as he rubs at the right muscles of the younger man's neck.

"Hmm," is all he gets from Jamie.

"I know it has been shit recently, but it's okay. I'll take care of it."

"There's nothing to take care of," Jamie tells him.

"Jamie…"

"The team needs Zava. I get that. It's fine. We're winning. That's what matters."

Roy wants to fight him. Tell him that he's fucking wrong. That him being happy fucking matters. It matters to Roy. But he isn't even sure Jamie will believe him. Not yet, at least.

"Okay," Roy relents. He gently squeezes the back of Jamie's neck again before he pulls away. He just hopes everyone else kept up their end of the deal and did what they were fucking supposed to. "We should head in."

Jamie silently nods before mentally bracing himself for another shit Zava-filled day.

Jamie froze when he walked into the locker room, and everyone yelled surprise! Even Zava did. Rebecca and Higgins were there. Even Trent Crimm. The room had been decorated with streamers and balloons. The kind of decorations He would have killed for as a kid. There was cake and gifts. He didn't even know what to think. He jumped a little when Roy's hand found his shoulder in the doorway. He looked back at Roy.

"It's okay, go on," Roy nodded and assured him, "Right behind you."

Jamie nods and goes into the room. He sets his bag on the bench and looks around at the others. They all seem almost as nervous as he does.

"Uh…thanks," Jamie manages to say with a tense smile when Roy squeezes his shoulder again. That earns him a pat on the back as Roy pulls away. And Jamie misses the reassuring warmth instantly. He looks back at Roy. Roy just nods for him to keep going. Beard tosses a party hat at Roy, and both Ted and Beard stare at him until he begrudgingly puts it on like the others. Jamie just goes with it when Will gives him a crown. "Coach Lasso insisted," Will whispers. Jamie doesn't put up a fight. Still somewhat confused about why this was happening now.

"Did you do this?" Jamie asks, looking at Roy. Roy shrugs but says, "Do you really think I'd be wearing this if I did." He points at the ridiculous hat.

"Fair enough," Jamie mutters and looks over as Ted approaches him.

"I cannot even begin to express how deeply sorry I am that we missed your birthday," Ted starts. "But I'm going to try."

"Of fucking course you are," Roy grunts. Earning a chuckle from Jamie and a few of the others. Ted spent the next few minutes telling Jamie how sorry they all were and that it would never happen again. That Jamie was too important to the team to be treated like that. And Jamie had repeatedly told him it was fine and that he knew they were trying. He didn't tell them he was honestly used to his birthday being a letdown. Sure, his mum and Keeley called. And his dad had left him alone for once instead of taking the opportunity to insult him. But Roy had made sure it wasn't a totally depressing day. He looks up when Rebecca takes a picture. He looks at her, confused.

"For Keeley," Rebecca says. Jamie nods. He was sure Keeley insisted they prove they did something to make it up to him. Rebecca continued, "I am sorry if you have not felt like you are part of the team. I never did apologize for what I did to you the first time you were on the team, and I know that nothing will ever be enough to repair the damage done when I sent you back to Man City. I am sorry, Jamie. It was unfair to you. To Coach Lasso. To the team. Especially after learning about your father-"

"Didn't want anyone to know. Embarrassing, innit?" Jamie says. "And I was a prick then."

"That makes two of us," Rebecca admits. "Happy belated birthday, Jamie Tartt." She hands Jamie an ornately wrapped gift. "We're glad you trusted us enough to come back."

"Thanks," is all he manages to say before Rebecca goes back over to Higgins and Ted.

"Going to open it?" Trent asks.

Jamie just looks around at all his teammates just watching him. He looks at Ted. "What about training?" He asks.

"Roy will put them through the paces this afternoon. You just enjoy your party."

Jamie opens up a bunch of gifts.

Rebecca had given him a framed paper from their first win after Jamie rejoined the team. It was shockingly sentimental, and he wondered if Keeley or Ted had helped with that one. He genuinely thanked her.

Trent gave him a watch that didn't seem too pricey, but it was something that Jamie might actually wear. Trent had better taste than Jamie had realized. He thanked him. Because, let's be real, Trent didn't do anything to him. He was a bystander for the most part. A silent observer that offered a kind word now and again. Jamie could appreciate that. And he really did. It was nice to have someone like Trent on their side.

Zava gave him a book on mindfulness or something Jamie had zero interest in, but he had thanked him anyway because he had not expected Zava to get him anything. And then Zava gave him a set of gloves because Jamie always had his hands in his shirt or pockets, and Zava figured he must be cold. That had thoroughly shocked Jamie. And he let Zava know he appreciated that Zava would care enough to notice. Ted and Beard give a new book he says he'll actually try and read this time. Beard had slipped a code for a copy of the audiobook, and Jamie thinks he might tear up because, damn, did that make him feel seen. He wasn't the best at reading, and his coaches clearly knew him enough to still want him to try, but they'd made it easy on him.

The rest of the team had gotten him more Jamie-style gifts. A new set of boots that just screamed Jamie Tartt Van Damme insisted. Hats they knew he wanted. Colin and Isaac got him a pullover he'd been meaning to get himself but hadn't gotten around to. Dani got him a vinyl copy of an 80s band he had found that he figured Jamie would like because Jamie had an odd taste in music compared to most of the team. Sam had given him a card and a larger envelope that shocked Jamie. It had tickets from every game that Jamie had helped them with every goal listed down to the minute.

"You might not think we remember, but we do," Sam tells him, and Jamie hugs him. He doesn't know how he had all those tickets, but it was probably the most thoughtful and elaborate gift ever.

"One more," Roy says. He hands Jamie a bag that was multicolored and had bows. Jamie looks at Roy with amusement. He also wanted to say he thought the dinner and cuddles were his gifts. Roy rolls his eyes. "Phoebe sent it."

"Oh," Jamie laughs. "Yeah, that makes much more sense." He opens the gift to find a very bright and silly jumper that clearly a raining cats and dogs joke on it, and Jamie genuinely grinned. Leave it to an 8-year-old he barely knows to pick the most outrageous gift.

"You don't have to-" Roy starts to say.

"Oh, I'm gonna," Jamie insists. He had taken his crown off, followed by the pullover he had on, and proudly dawned the one with cartoon animals on it. "How do I look? Wait, don't tell, fucking fit, right? I can make anything look good."

The room devolves into laughter. Partially from the ridiculousness that was Jamie Tartt wearing a pastel-colored hoodie with cartoons on it and saying he looked good in it. Partially with relief because clearly, Jamie was not mad at them. He was more like his usual self than he had been in weeks. They took a bunch of silly pictures, and Jamie posted most of them on his Instagram, including a very proud one of the jumper Phoebe gave him. And Roy had a hard time not looking like he was happy in the few pictures he was in. He was happy. He was happy Jamie was seemingly back to his confident self. Jamie actually ate a piece of cake, or at least part of one. He pawned the other half on to Dani, and Roy was sure Dani might have gotten emotional over it, not because he had found out that Jamie had actually missed spending time with Sam and Dani since Zava joined, but because Jamie hadn't batted an eye at talking to him. Acting like it was just a normal old day for them. Roy may have sent a very expletive-filled text to Dani the night before. He told him to cut that shit out and be there for the people who actually like him for more than their egos. Because Jamie was lonely, and it was the team fucking fault. But Dani knew better and was better. So he should be fucking better. And Roy had been right. So when Dani had hugged Jamie before he gave him his gift, he had looked over at Roy, and Roy had nodded when he saw Jamie practically melt into the hug. Roy had trusted Sam would see how much he messed up without Roy having to verbally berate or rather lecture via text. And Sam had come through. Roy had actually smiled when he saw how Jamie reacted to Sam's gift. Roy stepped out into the hall when his phone rang.

"Keeley," he greeted when he answered.

"So it went well?" She asks without pretenses.

"Seems that way," Roy says.

"He seemed happy in the pictures he and the lads posted," she says. Roy thinks he can almost hear her smile in her voice.

"He did. Loves that fucking jumper you helped Phoebe pick out. Won't take the bloody thing off."

"And Zava gave him a genuine gift?" She asks.

"Shocked the hell out of all of us. He's more observant than I figured," Roy states, his tone darker than she expected.

"I know that tone…" Keeley says. "You don't trust it."

Roy grunts. "Of course I fucking don't trust it. It means he sees the shit that's been going on and doesn't actually give a fuck. He might just be realizing that Jamie isn't as easily overshadowed because of Jamie's history. Zava may not know Jamie's history, but I think he has an interest now. And-"

"And it scares you that Jamie's going to get hurt and worse than this time, aren't you?"

"Fucking exactly," Roy grumbles. "And it was hard enough getting him back this time."

"But you did, babe."

"He was a fucking mess. Didn't want to be left alone. He was so broken."

"And you held him and put him back together," Keeley said in a tone that was so soft and understanding. "Because you care so much about his happiness and his well-being. More than you want to, and it frustrates you."

She chuckles when he just grunts. He almost hated how well she knew him, how she could see through his bullshit and gruff guise.

"You know he wouldn't accept it from anyone else, yeah?" she adds. "He might accept the praise and encouragement from Ted, but he doesn't let anyone in as much as he does you. Not even me anymore. Try not to get stuck in your head and muck it up. You two are so cute together, and we both know you aren't holding back because of what people will think."

"Fuck off," Roy grimaces. Why had he ever told Keeley about the fact he cared about Jamie fucking Tartt? Oh, right, because he needed to talk to someone, or he would do something stupid. Roy frowns. "I slept in his bed last night," he admits.

"Just sleeping? Or like…"

"I did not fuck Jamie Tartt," he says in a harsh whisper, looking around to make sure no one heard any of it.

"But you did more than sleep?"

"He spent half the night crying and fucking vulnerable. Like some sort of fucking baby deer or something. Those fucking eyes of his."

"I know. They are like traps," Keeley agrees. "So what now?"

"I don't fucking know," Roy admits.

"Well, maybe put your big boy trousers on and tell him you want to make more than just his birthday happy," She smirks. "You're too old for schoolyard crushes. You're Roy fucking Kent. Tell the man you want to choke on his dick and fucking do it."

"What the fuck?" Roy says, his tone less confident than usual because that fucking visual was now in his head and sent most of his blood south.

"Goodbye, Roy," Keeley laughs before hanging up.

Roy has to will his body back into submission before he goes back into the locker room.

"All good, yeah?" Jamie asks almost instantly when their eyes lock. And Roy had to remind himself that they were at work, and this was not the time for his body to want to drag the striker into the boot room and fucking destroy him in the best way possible. Nope, cannot happen. Fucking Keeley and her notions. But Jamie is looking at him with that curious fucking look he gets. And Roy knows he'll have to actually talk to Jamie about his fucking feelings eventually, but not now. So he nods.

"Just Keeley checking in. She's glad you're feeling better." It's not exactly what she said, but Jamie didn't need to know that. And Jamie smiles and goes sort of soft and happy for a second. Roy wants to see that over and over, but again, not the time or place.

"That's nice of her," Jamie says.

Roy just grunts because, of course, Jamie goes all fucking soft over Keeley Jones. He loves Keeley.

The party winds down, and Will gets stuck cleaning up as everyone else is told to get ready to actually train. Jamie looks happy to anyone that might be looking, but Roy could see the tension starting to return to Jamie's shoulders. Roy pulls him into his office after he finishes lacing up his boots.

"Don't let him get to you, okay?" Roy says. Jamie looks at him bewildered. Roy fights the urge to sigh. "You're getting in your head again, yeah?" And Jamie was surprised anyone noticed. But of course, Roy did. It was his job to notice.

"Can't exactly help it," Jamie admits. His hands bunched up in his kit.

"I know, but," Roy starts. "You not fucking alone in this, got it? You have one advantage here. He doesn't fucking know what you can do anymore. He knows the shit you used to be known for. He has seen you at a loss the past few weeks. But fuck that. You are fucking Jamie Tartt. Show him more of that prick that we saw back when you could play for any team and fucking kill it. You don't have to be the old you, but you are still very much you. And you know you are good. Don't let that twat forget it. Got me?"

And Jamie felt fucking fantastic. Roy thinks it's like looking at the fucking sun with how Jamie was looking at him right now. Like Roy could tell him to fucking fight the world, and Jamie would. And Roy slips up because he is a weak and needy bastard. He grips Jamie's face and pulls him in until their lips meet. And Jamie doesn't miss a beat. He kisses Roy back with an enthusiasm that is almost manic. And if that isn't just the most Jamie fucking Tartt thing ever, Roy didn't know what was. Roy pulls away, and Jamie whines. Fuck this was not the place for this. So Roy refocuses.

"You fucking got this," Roy says, still gripping Jamie's face. And Roy thinks he was wrong before. Now Jamie looks like he'd burn the world to ashes if Roy asked him to. There was a power in that feeling that Roy didn't realize he needed.

"Yes, coach," Jamie grins, and Roy lets him go.

"Then fucking get to it," Roy says, and something in him shifts when Jamie gives him a quick peck on the lips before he heads to the pitch.

"Fuck," Roy curses himself and texts Keeley what just happened. Her reply is a bunch of emojis, and Roy rolls his eyes. He shakes it all off as best he can and heads out to the pitch. He can't help it. From the moment he reaches the sidelines, his eyes seek out Jamie's. And when he finds him, his stomach swoops because Jamie has an easy smile on his face. He nods at Roy, and without hesitation, Roy returns the gesture. If the corners of his usual frown tick up into the slightest of grins, well, no one says anything. And if they did, he'd fucking deny it.

#tw: neglect #tw: self esteem issues #tw: mentions of abuse #tw: anger #tw: swearing #tw: cursing #tw: cussing #tw: angst #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: exhaustion #royjamie #roy kent #jamie tartt #afc richmond #ted lasso fic #ted lasso #zava ted lasso #keeley jones

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paty0831 · 6 months

Text

Hongice week 2024 || Day 2

Chapter 2: Is it possible to die from embarrassment?

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Human AU

-----------------------

Months passed and Li and Emil became close friends. They always met after school to do something like going to the movies or for coffee; but if they had a lot of homework or a group work they would meet at each other's house to work. During these meetings, Li met Mathias, who visited Lukas every day and was like a big brother to Emil. Li became friends with Mathias and his friends. Eventually, Li became popular, but he didn’t care anymore because he was starting to have feelings for Emil.

Li was in his room reflecting on his time with Emil, realising that what he feels is more than friendship.

“What's wrong with you Li? You've been acting weird for days”

“Mei?! What are you doing here?”

“I can't find my pen and I came to ask you if I could borrow yours, but you don't listen to me”

“What? How long have you been here?”

“For half an hour, this is the fourth time I'm asking you”

“Oh, right. It's on my desk”

When Mei went to pick up the pen, she realised something.

“Are you in love with Emil?”

“What?! Why do you say that?”

“You wrote his name many times in your notebook. Besides that your desk is full of pictures of you...that explains why the printer is out of ink”

“Does writing his name and printing our photos indicate that I am in love with him? I don't think so”

“One of the photos is in the heart-shaped frame I gave you last year”

“...I've run out of frames”

“It's the only frame you have; the other pictures are taped on your desk”

At that moment Li realised that he couldn't hide it any longer. He was in love with Emil and he had to tell him.

“How do I tell him that I’m in love?”

“Prepare something nice for him, like sing to him outside his house”

“How about if I invite him here to watch a movie and then I'll tell him?”

“You always watch movies here”

“Yes, but we do it after doing our homework. This time we'll just watch the movie”

“Li, you don't know anything about romance”

“Besides, knowing you, you're going to want to see another Jackie Chan movie," said Yong Soo who heard the conversation from outside, "also, remember that you lost the bet”

Being prom king and queen allowed the whole school to get to know Yong Soo and Mei, so it didn't take long for their popularity to grow. However, it took Li longer to gain Emil's trust.

“By the way, brat, your pen ran out of ink," added Yong Soo.

“You moron!” Mei replied as she gave him a few bumps.

“Back on topic, how do I propose?”

“I insist on singing outside his house”

“To do that you have to lose your fear of singing. That's why you're going to debut tomorrow at the karaoke,” said Yong Soo.

The siblings go to karaoke once a month. Yong Soo and Mei are the ones who sing while Li and Yao just listen to them.

“NO! Of course not! I'm not going to sing!”

“How about singing a duet with someone?” Mei proposed.

“...okay”

………………………………………….

“Why should I sing with Li?” Yao asked annoyed.

“Because he's afraid to do it alone," said Mei.

“Why not one of you?”

“Because you have to debut too," said Yong Soo.

“And why did you wait until we got here to tell me?”

“Li, are you ready for your debut?” Yong Soo asked, ignoring Yao's question.

“Yes, but wouldn't it have been better to practice before coming here so as not to make a fool of myself?”

“Maybe," replied Yong Soo.

“At least we're the only ones here," Li remarked, since it was only them in the karaoke room, "By the way, what are we going to sing?”

“Don't worry, I chose a song according to your standards," said Yong Soo.

“No kpop!” Yao shouted.

“Yeah, I know”

The instrumental of the song Loser, baby started playing and Yong Soo pointed at Li to start singing. Li got nervous and didn't say anything, so they stopped the music.

“Li!” Yong Soo shouted.

“There's no one else, just us," added Mei.

“Well”

They turned the music back on and Li started singing. At first he felt embarrassed, but at one point he felt confident and let himself go, since this is a song he really likes.

While they were singing, Mathias, Lukas and Emil came in, but Li didn't notice, he was more focused on the screen with the lyrics of the song. The one who did notice them was Yao, so he did his best to make sure Li didn't notice so he could sing confidently.

“Aren't those Li and Yao singing over there?” said Mathias.

“It seems so;" said Emil, "but Li told me he didn't like to sing”

“If he was encouraged to go up there and sing, you should do it and so should you Lukas”

“Of course not!” said the brothers in unison. When the three of them went to karaoke, only Mathias was encouraged to sing.

“I will convince you somehow”

When they finished singing, the others applauded. Mathias stood up and raised his arms to applaud them.

“Bravo! Bravo!” Mathias shouted.

Li turned to look at Mathias and noticed that Emil was with him, so he felt embarrassed and just wanted to disappear.

“Hi Mathias!” Yong Soo said as he walked over to say hello. Mei and Yao followed him. Li wanted to run away, but Emil saw him and waved.

“Hello Li”

“Hi Emil,” he replied, looking confident, but he was nervous.

“I liked the way you sang”

“Really? Or are you just saying that to be nice?”

“No, I’m serious”

“Oh, thank you..." Li felt more confident and realised that Mei’s idea might work.

…………………………………………………

“Do you think it will work?”

“Yes, Emil will love it," Mathias replied enthusiastically.

“OK, if you say so" said Li with some insecurity.

Li was in front of Emil's house with some friends, including Mathias and a speaker. Suddenly an instrumental version of "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars started to play, Li started to sing the song while the rest of them sang along. This caught the attention of Emil and his family, so they all came out to see what it was all about.

After finishing the song, Li confessed his feelings to Emil and asked him if he wanted to be his boyfriend. Emil accepted, trying to hide his excitement but failing, making it obvious to everyone that he was very happy.

“See Emil, I told you he liked you back," said Mathias.

“You don't have to mention that in front of everyone," replied Emil in annoyance.

To be continued...

@hongiceweek sorry I'm late!!

#hetalia #aph hong kong #hws hong kong #aph iceland #hws iceland #hongice #aph taiwan #hws taiwan #aph south korea #hws south korea #aph china #hws china #aph denmark #hws denmark #aph norway #hws norway #hongiceweek2024

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number-1-kuaidul-fanboy · 9 months

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Episode 90 of Go Rush is the most painful Yugioh episode to me

This episode has put me in a state of grief and shock, similar to what I felt after my cat died, for days, to the point where I'm still recovering from the after effects as I write this. I'm gonna do my best to judge this episode fairly, and critique it for what it is, not what I may have personally wanted it to be. To be clear, I think this is a good episode. Maybe even a great one. I do have some genuine critiques (mainly with the dialogue so I admit it could partially be a language/culture barrier issue) but overall, it is a well put together episode and duelling wise especially, a fantastic arc finale to my favourite story arc of season 2. It just... came out Christmas Eve, a hard time of the year for me for personal reasons, and did something that was always going to destroy me personally. But, anyways, enough beating around the bush. I have a ton of thoughts on this episode that I really need to put in one place.

Spoilers below of course.

Like I said, the duelling action in this episode is amazing, one of my personal favourite duels in Bridge Era Yugioh. Honestly maybe someday when GR is fully released, I will declare it my favourite. I need more time with it to know for sure. Kuaidul is so at the top of his game with his perfected deck that Yudias had to steal Kuaidul's ultimate monster in order to fight back at all and even then, Kauidul was still able to defend himself and potentially make a comeback. He's a skilled duelist and a great villain and that's on full display this episode.

The only problem I have with this episode's first half is the opening theme playing over part of an episode once again. They did this at the end of Galaxy Cup and it felt ill-fitting there too but this episode felt even more forced as that song being played during a "triumphant victory" right before the turn this episode took was really distracting. The tonal whiplash honestly kind of disgusted me. The song is great, but you don't have to play it in the middle of the episode just because it's an arc finale, guys. If it doesn't fit, then it doesn't fit. Don't force it.

Other than that blunder though, the first half or so of this episode is high quality standard fun so had I not known better and seen the clips and screenshots before watching the entire thing subbed, I never would've expected the episode to go full on depressing. Yeah, Kuaidul was mentioned to be dying in the previous episode but Yugioh hardly ever permanently kills characters and every other Go Rush villain was allowed to live.

Surely, I don't need to lose sleep over this. Surely they won't kill him on Christmas Eve when he's only existed as a character for like four months and has so much more to give us. Surely Kuaidul will be okay-

.....oh

....Yeah, for me, I don't think there's a worse feeling than anxiously dreading something will happen but trying to insist it won't happen and you're just having anxiety only to have your anxiety proven right... This was the perfect storm of despair to completely destroy me and me personally since Kuaidul is a personal comfort character, saved the second season for me after it went to shit, and my favourite in Go Rush so understand that that is what my bias is when discussing this episode.

I've already made a whole post defending the scene where Kuaidul forcefully tries to fuse with Yudias. To sum it up, it was a life or death situation and Kuaidul was acting out of fear/self-preservation, Yudias was willing (though yes he did leave this unvoiced at first), and Kuaidul did let go of the fusion and accept his impending death because the fusion would, to some degree, hurt Yudias. I wish the reason and extent to how much it would hurt Yudias was more clearly explained. Maybe some line about how Kuaidul's decaying form (or the thing that gave his body form) will start to make Yudias decay as well would've helped because personally, I found the explanation the episde gave to be vague and confusing. Yugioh has confusing logic at times but I've never questioned the logic behind sacrifices like these. Antinomy and Ai's motivations and reasons for sacrificing themselves both made sense and I never questioned why they did what they did. Kuaidul meanwhile, I don't fully understand why he HAD to die. The fusion would've hurt Yudias, yes, but how drastically? Would it have eventually killed him or just hurt a lot? What would this "fusion" even have entailed? This episode vaguely implied Kuaidul was straight up trying to possess him but it never quite fully said that? For all we know, he would've ended up a harmless spirit vibing in Yudias's subconscious like Yubel or Astral were because fusions like this are just not explained in Go Rush's universe. Yeah, yeah, "show don't tell" but the visuals didn't give a concrete answer either, at least not to me. It felt weirdly vague and confusing.

Also, side note, I won't dwell on this too much because someone has already posted about it but this:

This is messed up in a way that I don't think Go Rush, which is aimed at a younger audience, is equipped to handle and should not be Yudias's reasoning. "If it will save you from death" was enough of a reason. That captures Yudias's astonishing compassion and selflessness perfectly and is far more subtle and emotionally resonant. I hate the implications of this line and it genuinely made me extremely uncomfortable when I saw it.

Anyways, the sacrifice. Despite all the under explaining, I obviously still felt the weight of Kuaidul's sacrifice and emotionally, I understand it even I find myself questioning the semantics more than I normally would with scenes like these. I do think if we knew the extent to how much Kuaidul was willing to hurt Yudias in his moment of impulsive fear, then him deciding not to go through with it would have added even more to his character. Still, I think the fact that he was willing to let go and accept his death makes him a better character. I think that was the only way that forced fusion scene could have been salvaged. Because, yes, if the episode had ended with Kuaidul forcing Yudias to fuse, sticking with it, and essentially getting away with it, this episode would be worse. I... would probably still like Kuaidul but I would definitely feel uncomfortable to some degree. However, I personally am able to fully forgive him because I understand that it was an act of impulse by a dying man that, after thinking about, he did decide on his own not to go through with. The scene played out perfectly for what they were going for. They went a direction I wasn't expecting but the direction made sense (despite being under-explained to me) and was emotionally effective.

Speaking of emotionally effective...

Okay, I won't lie. The first time I saw this scene (purely through screenshots), I was actually pissed. It immediately brought to mind Akiza being forced to forgive her abusive father and I felt like they were not just pulling that crap again but having it be the final note an immensely important comfort character of mine went out on.

....but I was already a crying mess when I saw this and now that I've regained somewhat of a clear mind and seen the full episode, my opinion has changed completely. The Creator is NOT on the same level of Akiza's father, not in the slightest. I still firmly view him and Kuaidul as a father/son relationship since the Creator... ya know, literally created him and Kuaidul craving his validation very much came across to me as a neglected child craving their parent's attention/approval. That's not explicitly spelled out by the show but keep in mind this is how I view it. From what we saw, Kuaidul had valid reasons to feel neglected, most notably episode 77 where the Creator left Kuaidul behind despite his cries. However, upon actually seeing the hug scene in motion, I realised that Kuaidul wasn't the one who initiated the hug. The Creator was:

And to me, that makes all the difference. He's offering a hug, a symbol of forgiveness and acceptance, which Kuaidul accepted instantly, with no pressure from anyone which was my main problem with Akiza's situation, because validation from the Creator was all he really wanted this whole time. That's actually quite cohesive and I'm glad Kuaidul's motivation wasn't forgotten or changed. Do I still think Kuaidul deserved more? Oh, absolutely. The Creator should've apologised verbally in some way. Maybe Kuaidul didn't need him to but I the viewer did dammit. At least if this is both their final appearances and isn't leading into something down the line (the Creator could just use him again, or it could be revealed to be a hallucination fuck-). Whatever, this hug was enough for Kuaidul and at the time of writing this, the scene is their final scene in the show and if this is truly where it ends for them, then I'm glad that despite dying, Kuaidul got exactly what he truly wanted all along.

I could nitpick it and the entire show's implications about the Creator into oblivion if I really wanted to but... I don't. My favourite character had a cohesive sympathetic narrative with a payoff, which is more than I've gotten from some other Yugioh series. For what it is, I like it and it resonated with me emotionally, which is the goal of fiction.

In fact, that's my take on the entire episode: it's not exactly what I would've expected or wanted but I like it overall for what it is. The reason I resent this episode so much is almost purely personal and not reflective of the episode's quality. I have issues with the episode, as I mentioned, but it's a good episode overall. The script just needed some tweaks.

It's a good thing Konami and Entame are taking a break after this episode. They deserve it, first and foremost, and I don't know if I'll be able to return to Go Rush even after their breaks end. I want to know what happens next but it'll be... hard after being hit with something this upsetting so suddenly during an already rough time of the year for me.

I want to return someday, but not if any part of me is still instinctively hopelessly crying out for Kuaidul's return only to be disappointed.

#yugioh go rush spoilers #go rush spoilers #yugioh go rush #go rush #kuaidul velgear #yudias velgear #go rush episode reviews #my feelings on the creator situation go more back and forth than this post would indicate but in a bubble I still love the hug scene

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bonesandthebees · 1 year

Note

Yo,

So I was feeling bored and sentimental, so I went back and read through literally all of Clinic yesterday, and I think I noticed a teensy mistake.

In the main fic, when Tommy's under the dream interrogation thingie from 404, in the third dream (I think), Techno burns his hand. Tommy heals it, Techno starts pointing out his worst fears, etc. Anyways, we move on.

But in the Waking Nightmares side fic, when Tommy is explaining his dreams to Wilbur, he says that Techno cut his hand. And he also mentions that the dreams are ingrained in his mind almost flawlessly, so I doubt that's just good ol' Tommy missing a detail.

Idk it's just a silly little thing I noticed because that's the way I am, and just felt like pointing it out.

But seriously, tho, every time I go back and re-read Clinic, I still feel the suspense, even tho I know what's going to happen. Idk what else to call that, other than damn good writing. (Big ol' cheesy thumbs up to you :)

okay first off thank you for the kind words about my writing, I'm glad you enjoyed clinic so much :)

but I'm gonna go on a tangent for a second about my thoughts on you pointing this out to me. this is /nm, I know you didn't mean any harm, but I genuinely do not understand why people feel a need to point out tiny errors in fanfics like this. now in a situation where the mistake—whether it be an inconsistency or a typo or something like that—is bad enough to make the reader confused or possibly misinterpret the scene, then yeah, pointing it out to the author makes sense.

but you said it outright in your ask: you could tell that was just a mistake on my end. me accidentally referring to techno's injury as a cut as opposed to a burn was very clearly just a slight continuity error on my end. you knew what I meant. it didn't damage your ability to enjoy or understand either of the fics. and yet you took the time to write this whole message out to tell me about it. and I just don't understand the point. maybe you thought I'd want to know, but also I have friends who I can ask to read my works for me for errors like this. again, in a situation where the error is enough to mess up a readers understanding of what's going on, yeah, of course let me know. but in a situation where it's easy to understand that it's just a mistake, I really don't get why people feel the need to point it out to me?

this isn't specifically about you. I still get comments on one specific chapter of clinic pointing out a minor typo in the chapter. I finished that fic a year and a half ago. and people still. point. it. out. at this point I refuse to fix it out of spite. so that's also where a lot of this rambling is coming from.

I wanna emphasize, I'm not mad. I know you didn't mean any harm. but frankly, I write fanfic for my own enjoyment. I don't get paid for this. I don't have a professional editor or paid proofreader to go through everything I write to make sure it's publishing standard. it's just me, and sometimes my friends who are kind enough to read over my stuff for me before I post it. I don't care if I make a tiny error here and there, as long as the original intent is clear.

I'm sure a lot of other fic authors feel the same way I do about this. it's not something I'm fuming mad about or anything. it just bugs me because I don't understand the point. when I see an error like that in a fic, I just move on and keep reading.

anyway, didn't mean for this to get so long. you get my point. I'm not fixing that. you all know what I meant.

#ask #w0rld0fapathy #tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains

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marionsravenwoods · 1 year

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I guess you can call me the 3am Mike cutter anon and I’m aware of like his seasons so idm spoilers.

I was going to ramble in the tags of a gif set you did for innocence because I had some Thoughts about the episode but decided against it. My main problem with Emily was that how. How did she NOT tell Mike that he was missing some credits?? Like? That’s so,,,I mean it’s understandable that some credits will fall through because Mike transferred from 3 colleges and different colleges have different standards (I went through that when I transferred to my uni from community college. Good god my uni didn’t have the foreign language I took. Anyway) but like it should be on her to tell Mike. And to use it against him,,,tbf he did kinda bring it on himself for supeona’ing student records and sure use any means necessary but I felt like that was. Going a bit too far. Was he going after the intergreity of Emily’s clinic? Yeah but with good reason (pretty sure a student bribed that witness with money + booze can impair one’s judgement). Did Emily had to bring in Mike’s law license into this? No not rlly. Idk at least Mike kept his law license but 😬😬 god.

hey 3am mike cutter anon! sorry that it's taken me so long to respond but boy am i glad to see you back in my asks again! :)

spoilers for l&o S20E16 "innocence" under the cut:

i am 100% with you on this—i've said it before and i'll say it again, in that episode MIKE DID NOTHING WRONG. sure, like you said, he arguably gets too aggressive going after the clinic with the subpeona. BUT, let's remember the context—emily ryan was trying to overturn a legitimate trial verdict, all of the potentially exculpatory leads were investigated (by lupo and bernard—we see this in the first half of the episode after ryan's first challenge), and there's good reason to believe, as you mentioned, that the "exculpatory" witness was unreliable/bribed. Grade inflation is a potential motive for that behavior, so even though you could argue it's still a bad look for mike, it's not mike's job to play nice if it means putting a homophobic murderer out on the street.

even if you do think mike was going too far, it was absolutely unnecessary for emily ryan to try to tank his career over it. everyone keeps accusing mike of making it personal, when it's emily who made it personal to begin with. she's the first one to make a direct comment to him about "proving" that he still has his chops, to try to "beat" her. she essentially attempts to blackmail mike out of subpeonaing the records, and when he doesn't back down, she punishes him just to show that she can. on top of it all, in the scene at rikers at the end of the episode, she gaslights him by insisting that he was the one who started it. (oh really, emily? she literally says "now let's see if you really did learn something from me" when her first retrial request is granted!!!!!!!)

she's the one who treats it like a competition from the start, and does so until the very end, trying to negotiate a plea deal for a guy she clearly doesn't even believe is innocent (don't get me wrong—i know the whole job of a defense attorney is to be a tireless advocate for whomever they represent, even if they're guilty—but by the end of the episode, she's entirely forgotten the point of the innocence coalition, which is to challenge wrongful convictions, and i truly don't believe she thinks Stuber's conviction was wrongful by the end).

i know credit mishaps happen all the time (like what happened to you, and hell, my mom was missing half a credit when she was supposed to graduate from high school and her counselor just approved her anyway bc it was dumb to make her repeat a year over half a credit), but as his advisor, that was literally her responsibility to him, to make sure everything was in order, and if not, to give him time to fix it. then to hold onto that information to save it for a "rainy day", when she needed to stick it to him..... it's just evil. maybe she was envious of mike's talent in college, maybe she just genuinely fucked up and didn't want anyone to know that she had fucked up, and then saw an opportunity, i don't know. but i do think that in any case, she was mean and vindictive in a way that i don't think mike is (and i definitely think in a way that he evolved a bit away from by that point in the show).

on the bright side, ryan doing that did do two things: one, it meant that mike no longer had that secret hanging over his head anymore and no one else can use it against him (his convictions were upheld and he only got a reprimand from the bar), and two, it proved that he actually does believe in justice over winning or making himself look good. we see in the final scene that he's willing to give up everything—including his law license—to make sure this hate murderer goes to prison for what he did ("you can have my license! it'll free me up to testify about the hate speech your client just spewed in here."). that's something that i don't believe emily ryan ever had the guts to do.

ANYWAY, once again, mike cutter did nothing wrong, and i would like to fight emily ryan in a chili's parking lot.

thanks for dropping by again, 3am mike cutter anon! feel free to send me any more 3am mike cutter thoughts in the future! :)

#l&o discourse #law and order #mike cutter #insane attorney makes me insane #asks #anonymous

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twenty-words-or-less · 2 years

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Top 5 Best Films of 2021

I promised a top 5 of 2021 and here it is. Severely delayed, I know, but I’ve been trying to do other things with life and the days just got away from me. There will also be a More button on this status but I’d really appreciate if you guys gave the entire post a shot and not just scroll away. Cheers! Anyway, here it is, with the general theme of “yeah, this surprised me too!”:

5. Another Round (Druk)

Very dry, darkly funny Danish drama which manages to condemn as well as celebrate the drinking culture that seems to have a grip on North Europe as a whole, which is kind of interesting. Fun fact: the original title roughly translates to ‘Binge-Drinking’, something as blunt as the film itself.

4. Malignant

The kind of film made by someone who said “hey, my last film made you $1bn, can I have some money to do the thing I REALLY want to do?”. Basically an hour and a half of batshittery improved by a very divisive twist that [REDACTED] and I enjoyed very much.

3. The Suicide Squad

The one film I definitely saw coming with regards to it being on here. It’s exactly what one would expect from a James Gunn movie: dark comedy, people literally having a blast, a soundtrack consisting of songs one hasn’t heard since they were a teenager (looking at you, “Whistle For The Choir”). Can also confirm that it is just as good seeing it sober and in IMAX as it is seeing it drunk in standard definition.

2. West Side Story

Absolutely thrilled to have this here considering my attitude towards this film since seeing the teaser in May. Everyone fits into their characters as comfortably as if they are regular performers, and it manages to define itself as being an adaptation without caving into the ’61 adap and being its own beast. Highlight is 100% Rita Moreno singing “Somewhere”, which absolutely destroyed me. It would probably be number 1 were it not for the guy who played Tony, whose name I don’t want to say in case he materialises in my living room and starts mauling “Something’s Coming” in front of me or some shit.

And now, the honourable mentions (which were surprisingly hard to pick) in no particular order:

In the Heights: Did slightly drag over the last half hour or so, and I cared more about the secondary romance than the main one. However, god DAMN is the songwriting tight, the camerawork fluid and coherent, and the one-two of “Paciencia y Fe” and “Alabanza”… whoof.

Annette: It, uh, sure is a film. I don’t know how to talk about it without sounding like I’m giving it backhanded compliments.

Candyman: A beautifully shot gem which, like 2018’s Halloween, took a risk in being a belated sequel. However, it also has a solid cast, the themes were well-executed, and the shadow puppetry was devastating. The cut to the scene with the girls in the bathroom was hilarious, too.

Encanto: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s had a fucking good year, hasn’t he?

And finally, top of the list…

1. Dune

I enjoyed it a LOT more than I expected, and not reading the book beforehand didn’t hinder it. Great cast, great music, and meme-able, which is always a good thing. The pacing was also even and the visuals beautiful. Very Villeneuve, very much what I imagine reading the book is like. And between this and Call Me By Your Name (which I watched when ill with Covid), I’ve come to the conclusion that watching something in which Timothée Chalamet has a prominent role is stressful because PLEASE can somebody feed him? Please?? Thanks.

And that concludes the top 5 of 2021. I’m not doing a full-on bottom 5 because I’m exhausted by negativity, but I’ll just do a summary here: Halloween Kills exists, Spider-Man: No Way Home & The Matrix Resurrections were let-downs, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions was annoying and unnecessary, and Old made me want to punch a fucking wall.

Thanks for reading!

~Mikey

#best of 2021 #2021 #mikey #another round #druk #malignant 2021 #the suicide squad #west side story 2021 #in the heights #annette #annette 2021 #candyman 2021 #encanto #dune 2021

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1622

Have you ever had a dream that your teeth were falling out? Once or twice. I remember this mainly because it’s my sister who gets this type of dream all the time, so when I had the same I immediately shared it with her.

Do you have a fence? We used to, but we took it out more than half a decade ago.

Do you think that in the end, everything will fall into place? Doesn’t always for some people. I like to believe it for myself though, at least.

When was the last time you went bowling? Oh gee. That time had to have been around 4-5 years ago.

Who was the last person you disappointed? I’m not sure, maybe Bea? I have some slip-ups at work here and there and I may have disappointed/slightly pissed her off in those moments.

Would you ever get a significant other’s name tattooed on yourself? I’d consider initials, but not an entire name. Even then I’m not entirely sure I’d actually do this; like if that relationship ultimately failed I’d hate myself for getting the tattoo.

Name one unpopular opinion of yours: Fruits suck.

Has the person you like ever made you upset? I don’t like anyone.

What is one thing people automatically notice about you? These days, it’s the fact that I wear braces, I guess.

Does anyone know your deepest darkest secret? That would be this blog, and yeah a couple of people know about it but never check it out as far as I know.

If you were getting unwanted attention by some creeper, would the person you like stand up for you? I’m really not into anyone...

Favorite kind of soda? I dislike soda, but in a hypothetical situation where it was the only thing available I’d probably ask for a Sprite. Idk if it’s the same for anyone else but the fizz (which I hate) is milder to me than other softdrinks, which makes it more tolerable for me.

Are you closer to your mother or father? My dad. Both because he’s away far more often and because we’re also simply more similar.

Are you afraid of the dark? Nah; I’d be afraid of it only if I was in some abandoned or ‘haunted’ spot.

What’s your favorite shape? I don’t have a favorite shape.

How social are you? Pretty damn social. I try to find people to talk to regardless of where I am lmao; unfortunately for me Filipinos by nature are very guarded and they like keeping to themselves – and for the most part find it weird when you try talking to them.

What’s your favorite primary color? Blue!

Do you like hot chocolate? For the most part I find it just okay, but I take great exception with Spanish hot chocolate. So good it’s almost stupid.

What do you have pierced? Just my earlobes.

What’s your favorite type of tea? I don’t like tea.

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? Oh, so many channels. I’m not strict or crazy organized about curating my subscriptions; like I’m still subscribed to channels that I subscribed to in like 2010 lol. These days though I keep my views to any BTS-related channel and my latest obsession, Team Payaman hehehehe.

What’s your favorite thing about the winter? I wouldn’t know.

What motivates you? Money. And the desire to travel, which technically is still related to money.

Would you rather have a hot tub or a pool? Pool. I don’t need a hot tub in a country where the temperature is constantly above the 30s.

What’s your favorite Yankee Candle scent? I’m not a regular scented candle user, much less a Yankee Candle customer so I’m not familiar with their line-up.

Would you rather learn how to play the ukulele or guitar? Guitar.

If you are up after 3 am, what are you most likely doing? Watching BTS, getting food delivery, or scrolling through Instagram reels and Reddit. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I already have two of them. :)

What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don’t entirely disagree with the whole concept of work; I personally think it’s an acceptable way to work on your skills while at the same time make a living. What I hate are the 8-hour, 5-day standard of work weeks; the idea that you can always be called to work overtime and weekends and not have much of a choice; and the idea that being employed is basically a contract to keep your phone constantly alive in the case of any urgent matter to attend to.

Do you believe in astrology? Nooooooooooo no no no no.

What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Outside the events I’ve mounted for work...not much. I’m not creative enough to make things by myself.

Do you have any cultural or family traditions that you know are uncommon in the area that you reside in currently? No, we never really did have any quirky or unique tradition in the family.

What are you grandparents' names? Not sharing those.

Have you ever been bitten by a dog? Just playful ones.

The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? 2020, to figure out what the fuck was causing my fever that wouldn’t go away.

Where are you, exactly, right now? I’m on my ‘couch’ in the bedroom, having Jungkook’s chicken mukbang the night before in the background. I say couch because my mom and I recently did this cute thing with my room where instead of getting an Actual Couch, we got these foldable mattresses that kind of stack up – we got two of them, so when placed together it totally looks like this adorable mini sofa haha.

What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? I can’t even remember that...maybe Camille’s niece? She brought her to work like last August.

Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, I find it interesting actually. Biology and anatomy are also some of my fav branches of science so seeing organs has never bothered me.

Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? Nope, never even seen one.

Have you ever seen a volcano? Sure! We have a couple ones here that I’ve visited.

Have you ever met an Alaskan? I don’t think so.

Describe how you’ve broken a bone, if you have. Never had a broken bone. I have sprained my left ankle twice though – once in school, when I tripped on my way to my car 🙃 and the second was on my birthday weekend last year, tripping over stairs after having had a handful of shots.

Choose 5 friends, and briefly describe their relationship status. Angela’s been in a long-term relationship the last 8 years; Reena’s single; Kata’s single; Jo is single as far as I know; and Kaye is seeing someone.

Describe the last situation in which you found yourself feeling awkward. My teammates were invited to the (very bougie) 123rd anniversary party of a major broadsheet, but we all traveled separately and I arrived too early so I was standing awkwardly for an hour while surrounded with a bunch of 50, 60, 70 somethings. Hated every minute of it.

Do you have a neighbor you'd like to get to know more? Not so much but I just wanna know if there are any other BTS fans here so I can befriend them and get them cookies and invite them from time to time to watch whatever lol.

If you're female, would you rather be called a girl, woman, gal, chick, b*tch, or lady? Woman.

What magazines did you like to read as a teenager? So magazines were in their heyday when I was a kid, so the ones I used to collect were those targeted for my age group, like K-Zone and Total Girl. Oh I do remember my dad also supporting my love for wrestling and getting me WWE and PWI magazines, too.

Did you use Lisa Frank folders in school when you were younger? I didn’t. The rich kids had a ton of Lisa Frank stuff though.

Do you watch any doctors' channels on YouTube? No. I’m subscribed to Institute of Human Anatomy though and watch their videos from time to time.

Have you ever lived in a house that was on a street corner? We never have.

What’s your favorite app? These days I have YouTube on pretty much, like, 18-20 hours out of 24. It’s the first thing I open and the last thing I close.

Do you want any tattoos? I only ever consider them and think of my dream designs, but never push through with an appointment because needles and I don’t mix.

What is the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Why We Ever by Hayley Williams. Also her songs HYD, Trigger, and Wait On. I have such a complicated relationship with her music, as much as I hate to admit it; her albums sat beside me and kept me company during what was arguably the darkest point of my life, but the obvious downside to that is I can’t really listen to those albums anymore without getting hurled back to that time.

Are you afraid of snakes? I mean if I saw them in the wild and they turned out to be venomous then yeah I’d be shitting my pants. I’m not afraid in more contained situations though and I’ve actually held snakes before.

Which “famous couple” is your favorite? Bey and Jay are a given, but I also like David and Victoria Beckham because of how cute and close their family is. What’s your favorite love song? Yellow by Coldplay.

How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? I personally think the “In a relationship with” feature is cringey so it’s not at all important to me. But I’m all for other ways of showing that a relationship is official, like sharing photos or writing appreciation posts for a significant other. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? Submissive.

What career do you want? I already love being in communications and PR.

What about having kids? I wanted kids in the past, but I’ve moved past that. I like to think that in another universe I’ve happily got the two-kids soccer-mom picket-fence life I once dreamed of having.

Do you think you’ll marry your current significant other? I don’t have one and don’t think I’ll ever want to be in a relationship again.

How did your first serious breakup go? Not counting the one from high school, I’ve had one serious breakup and it went just about as bad as bad gets. Didn’t show up to family and friends for months (in fact my phone will literally show you I had no activity from Sept 2020 to, like, Feb 2021), barely ate, didn’t see a life past 2020 basically.

[TW: SELF-HARM] Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah.

The first time you dumped someone, was it hard? I’ve never dumped anyone.

Do you regret who you lost your virginity to? Eh, no. I wanted it at the time.

Do you watch WWE Raw? Not anymore, but I continue to check in for the major events like the Rumble and Wrestlemania. I can’t even tell you a single current running angle.

Do you dye your hair? Not regularly, but yes I did it twice last year and plan on having it redyed to purple again.

Which of your parents will you see next? My mom. My dad and I aren’t seeing one another again until like May.

Have you ever been hospitalized? Just once.

Do you make fun of obese people? Not because they’re obese, because that’s sick. But sometimes there’ll be those videos of racist people in those scooter things harassing Asians and telling them to get out and threatening to call the police or run them over or whatever. Those always get me into frustrated laughter every time lol.

Do you eat when you’re upset? No. I lose my appetite when I’m upset or nervous.

One word to describe your most recent ex? I barely have any memory of that person, so let’s go with the most boring, inconclusive answer I can think of lol: girl.

Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? Scrambled.

Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now? BGC.

Where wouldn’t you want to live? The grossness that is Cubao.

Name three things that are overrated: Superhero movies, Taylor Swift, the whole 90s fashion throwback thing going on right now.

List four things about your facial appearance: I wear glasses; I have braces; I have one prominent dimple on the left side of my mouth, but another one on the right side will shyly peek out if I smile hard enough; I have the faintest eyebrow scar that you’ll see if you’re close enough.

List four things about your general appearance: I’m petite in height and body type; my arms and legs are pretty long; I practically have no boobs; my hair is currently sporting an ash brown shade that is rapidly fading into a brighter brown.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? I was rewatching a few of the boys’ lives earlier this evening and was laughing over some of their jokes.

How many weddings have you ever been to? I can’t tell how many I’ve been to (because all of them happened when I was a kid, so I barely remember them), but I can share that I haven’t been to a wedding since ‘07.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather? No.

How old are your parents? My dad is 52, mom’s turning the same age this September.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? Unholy by Sam Smith and Kim Petras.

What’s your boss’s first name? Do you call him/her by that name? My immediate superior is Bea, and yeah our workplace operates on a first-name basis. It was a deliberate decision so that nobody feels intimidated and so that everyone, down to the associates, would feel confident and comfortable sharing their ideas.

What is your favorite thing to cook or bake?: I do neither. The kitchen and I do not mix, haha.

When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower?: It would largely depend on how big of an asshole they’re being. If I catch them having been idiots to other drivers then I’d drive slower; but if I can tell they’re genuinely in a hurry or in an emergency, I’d either drive faster or (if there’s space) move aside so they can go ahead.

What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at?: You can usually find me at a coffee shop.

Do you have any checks that you need to cash or deposit?: No.

Do you know how to use AutoCAD software?: No. I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what that is.

Do you read peoples' answers to the surveys you've created?: I don’t make my own surveys but I do read answers that I come across on my dashboard. What is your least favorite household chore?: Folding laundry. There are just so many clothes lol and the repetitive motions make me feel restless. What career field are you in/would you like to be in?: Like I said in the previous survey, I like where I am and it’s not so much a matter of figuring out what career I wanna be in, but more so on figuring out what places or companies can offer me the biggest opportunities. Meaning to say I already like being in PR, but it would be cool to one day work PR for a company I genuinely follow and support, like WWE.

Have you ever been snorkeling?: Sure.

Why did you last see a doctor?: Dentists count as doctors, right? I got braces last Saturday. How often do you check your email?: Only during weekdays. My work email is off-limits on weekends.

What is your favorite outdoor activity?: I wish I had an answer to this but the Philippines barely has any public spaces.

Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you?: No, we are pretty spread out on both my mom’s and dad’s sides.

Have you ever participated in a medical study?: Nah.

Do you have any magnets on your refrigerator?: Yep, magnets from all the countries my dad has traveled to for work. He’s been to every continent except Africa and Antarctica.

What is the last thing you got in the mail?: Indigo :) Got both versions.

Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like?: Virtually all fruits.

Have you ever donated to a charity?: Yes.

What is your favorite kind of soup?: Mushroom soup and miso soup.

How long would it take to drive from your current home to the last place you lived?: 15 minutes only because of how ridiculously far my house is to the entrance of our village. If we lived any closer to the front it would take literally only 5.

What do you usually order from Subway?: I don’t even know what options there are at Subway haha, I never order anything from there.

Are you the oldest of your siblings?: Yes.

Are you the oldest of your cousins? Nah. I’m the second-eldest on my mom’s side, and the third-eldest on my dad’s. And that’s only referring to first cousins.

What is the most expensive thing you own?: My car.

Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster?: Nope.

Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors?: As far as I know, no.

Describe your favorite pair of sunglasses.: I don’t have one.

Are most of your friends shorter or taller than you?: Most definitely taller. I’m the short-ish friend.

Are you allergic to any medications?: Not that I know of.

Do you have any licenses other than your drivers license?: Nah.

What's your favorite Nintendo 64 game?: I didn’t grow up with an N64.

What all do you have on your keyring?: Two Tata keychains, car key, house key.

Would you rather ski or snowboard?: Idek the difference. What job does your significant other have?: I don’t have one.

Which class would you rather take: computer programming or astronomy?: Astronomy in a heartbeeeeeeeat. I love outer space.

When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school?: Ditch all my homework, play outside, watch TV.

Is your favorite movie part of a series?: It isn’t.

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