#tw: anger

[starleska]

If you're still open for requests, I was wondering if you had any thoughts or headcanons about what wally would be like when he's angry?

ooooh, this is a spicy request - i like it a lot 😈

i'm having a rough day and this felt cathartic, so thank you for sending this ask;;; i know there's a lot of demand for Wally with a bit of a dark side, and a touch more power...i hope this feeds those of you with that particular hunger 😉

content warnings for anger, violence, and...well, who knows what he did to that tourist?

Angry!Wally Darling headcanons

💢 Wally is rarely provoked to anger, but when he is, it's the chilling sort. it's unsettling, Wally's anger - he doesn't become violent, defensive, or raise his voice. instead, it's a noticeable evaporation of Wally's warmth that clues you in to his upset: like a hole cleaved clean through the sun. when Wally is angry with someone, you can see it in the way he behaves towards them - cordial, surface-level interactions far removed from his usual exuberance and affection. this is not a manipulative behaviour, nor does it appear to be a conscious one. the very existence of Wally's acceptable politeness in place of open-armed delight is enough to send shivers down anyone's spine.

💢 when Wally's very angry, he has a tendency to smile and laugh. Wally's anger is so infrequent that this particular trait is rarely seen, but when it is, it's quite frightening. the laughter is some sort of nervous energy on Wally's part: a body so unused to holding anger that it must behave in a contradictory fashion, finding a healthy release for all that adrenaline. even from a distance, you're sure to be disturbed. Wally's smile is incorrect - too large and strained, the physical manifestation of holding back a reaction far more explosive. likewise, Wally's angry laugh is not the usual, affable sound of a man pleasantly charmed. this laugh is punctuated harshly, each monotone syllable hitting like a hard rap on a door. it's thought by Wally's friends that his smiling and laughing is a desperate attempt to rectify his livid state. he isn't supposed to be angry, and that needs to be fixed.

💢 Wally has been known to...deal with...unsavoury characters who've pushed him beyond his limits - especially if they target his friends. it's in Wally's nature to be friendly and complimentary - even mild chastising is something he finds uncomfortable. so, what does Wally do when confronted with an excessively rude, aggressive, or even violent person? that is the eternal mystery to yourself and your neighbours, who have only witnessed this response once before:

a mouthy tourist to the Neighbourhood decided to pick a fight with Howdy Pillar over a made-up dispute, essentially attempting daylight robbery of his store. Wally, ever the diplomat, quickly intervened, and attempted to diffuse the situation with calming words. however, the tourist was having none of it, swearing and cursing and calling Wally names that no one had ever even thought in the Neighbourhood, let alone said. the altercation quickly turned physical, and the tourist directed his anger towards Howdy - but he never got the chance to land his punch.

Wally, his eyes as wide open as they can go, stared down the tourist, whose trembling fist halted just inches away from Howdy's face. Wally smirked, and said, his voice flat and glib, "Oh, friend. You shouldn't have done that."

as easily as moving a mannequin, Wally pushes down the tourist's arm and grabs him by the elbow. the tourist's mouth is open in an awful snarl, yet his eyes - fixed, staring ahead - shiver violently, his pupils unfocused and manic.

you, Howdy, and the rest of your gathered neighbours watched as Wally led the tourist from Howdy's store, and into the mouth of Home.

once he stepped over the threshold, the tourist was never seen again. hope you enjoyed this one 🥰

[nemmienimbus]

Still trying to cope with the fact that Mammon screaming in pain and begging for mercy is a regular occurrence, and that we're supposed to think it's funny?? Like WHAT??

[valiisthea]

Sighs not my FFVII muses coming back because of Rebirth. I've sort of shelved Roche for now since I am enjoying getting to write with one vs writing him for now but he does still exist if wanted.

I'm gaining a lot of muse for Zack and Tifa on top of already having Reno, Leslie, Biggs, and Wedge.

But also my brain is still in a very bad place and everything changes in me at the drop of a hat so take it with a grain of salt.

It was really nice to be able to write some FF16 again too! Though for some reason, it was much easier to slip into Barnabas than it was Dion who I mained for HOW LONG sheesh.

Grief and anger mentions beneath the snip snip.

I'm stuck in the 'anger' portion of my grief. I have 3 free therapy sessions through my insurance specifically to address grief that I will be going to starting next week. But the anger is really starting to be coming intrusive and concerning. I'm misplacing it too. I can notice all of this AFTER the fact, but I can't seem to stop myself in the heat of the moment. Like, my dogs pissed me off so much last night that I legitimately threw a (very small) vacuum at my door. I also slammed a lot of doors and screamed incredibly loudly into a pillow before storming out of the house and angrily marching around dollar general until I felt okay enough to come home. My anger does not ever get taken out on people or animals, even when they're the reasoning behind it, so I'm really really glad for that. But I am not the 'throwing a vacuum, running out of the house, slamming doors" kind of person and I didn't like any of that at all. But I felt so out of control in the moment.

I do think the anger and lack of patience is from the grief. I think I flutter in and out of the anger stage of grief and sometimes it just gets to be too much and I'm overstimulated and I just sort of...lose it. So I'm glad I'll have the therapy to address that. As soon as I calmed down I was booking appointments so damn fast because it is NOT acceptable behavior.

Aside from that, things have been okay at best. I just want my grandma and she's not here and she will never be here again and it's not fair to her. I struggle with it every day. I know it's only been a month (on sunday) and that it's still fairly fresh, but I didn't expect it to still be eating at me THIS intensely at this point.

I miss my fiance. I want him to come back desperately.

I want to write more, I think it's helping a bit to get some anger and frustration out but my motivation is so lacking, I feel like I cannot start anything without my hand being held.

On a happier note....I started playing pocket frogs again and those lil froggies are so damn cute. If nothing else, I have my froggo babies. And my best friend has been shiny hunting pokemon at night for me to fall asleep to so I don't feel so alone. I super appreciate that so much. AAAAND Stuart has been playing Rebirth a little bit every afternoon too so I can see the game/story since I don't have a ps5 so that's been nice too <3

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

Hi!!!! I saw your Headcannon on Secondo with an affectionate reader and I though the idea of him raining down hellfire on someone was pretty cool! Can we maybe have some head cannons for an angry Secondo? Thanks and no pressure if not

We can absolutely have some angry Secondo headcanons! I will preface this with a content warning for anger, violence, struggles with dealing with emotions, Nihil being a shit father. If any of this is a trigger or makes you uncomfortable please don't read beyond the read more line!

Out of all his brothers, Secondo is the most well-known for his temper

Growing up with Nihil as his dad and an absent mother, Secondo felt a shit ton of pressure to be the perfect backup for Primo and to prove himself to be just as useful as his older brother and just as charismatic as his younger brother

And all of that pressure partnered with Nihil raising him with archaic, toxic beliefs surrounding emotions and masculinity means that Secondo isn't good at dealing with his own emotions

He was a particularly angry teen when compared to his brothers and Copia

Where Primo would seek to diffuse all tense situations before arguments could occur and Terzo was always able to charm his way out of arguments with his charm, Secondo was always getting into fights and arguments

His words could cut hit just as hard as his punches, always knowing just the right thing to say to get the reactions he wanted out of them

Of course, the nannies and caregivers in the Ministry did their best to steer him away from these sorts of behaviours

But Secondo never listened. Despite being the child always trying to impress and always obeying his father and exceeding his expectations, he didn't have that same need to obey nannies or caregivers

It takes Secondo getting hit so hard that he falls and suffers from a concussion during a drunken fight with another Cardinal at a Ministry party for him to finally listen and go to therapy

Years of therapy and working through his toxic views around emotions and masculinity have done him wonders

His anger is still something ugly and incredibly hurtful when someone is on the receiving end of it, but he doesn't get into physical fights anymore

He's not the violent man he was as a teen and young adult

Whereas before he would yell and deliver words that cut deep without hesitation in his temper, now he's far more sinister

It starts with passive aggression. Malicious compliance. Hinting that you should probably stop doing whatever is encouraging his wrath

If someone continues to make him angry however and they're not a loved one or someone he cares for deeply, that's when he'll unleash his temper

There's no violence, but personal space is thrown out of the window

Instead of the yelling and violence of his early years, instead there is an eerie, intimidating quiet as he closes the gap with an emotionless, terrifying glare

He never forget how to sense what would hurt someone the most, and he uses that to his advantage if someone has hurt a loved one of his particularly badly

Secondo also has his own secluded room in the abbey that gets refilled with breakable items for him to throw and smash when he needs to let his anger and emotions out without effecting you or anyone else around him

He uses it much more after he meets you because while he isn't the man he used to be that doesn't mean he didn't need to continue working on himself

If someone hurts or upsets you, they hurt and upset him and that simply will not do

An 'accident' may befall someone if they cause you physical harm and trauma

There are rumours whispered around the abbey that he had someone maimed for hurting you (these rumours are exaggerations, but he does nothing to deny them)

Everyone knows at this point to avoid angering him and getting him to those points, so thankfully it doesn't happen often

He's still a work in progress, and his overprotective streak is the one thing he hasn't managed to tame or overcome yet. But perhaps in time he will

Until then, the number one rule in the Ministry?

Don't piss of Secondo Emeritus. Just don't

[mothvalentino]

Woe to whoever was to encounter Valentino in his current state. He's roaming the town at night, a restless shadow slipping through filthy alleys, a half-finished bottle of vodka held in a white-knuckled grip. Snarling like a threatened dog in the darkness, cerise eyes narrowed in a menacing scowl, glowing with unbridled fury.

He's looking for trouble, no, he's begging for it. For an excuse to get his hands dirty, his claws itching to tear limb from limb, to smash someone's head against the brick. Over and over until nothing remains to destroy. Nothing but a new target.

A vein in his neck protrudes to a throbbing pulse, burning rage so all-consuming Val thinks he might actually explode if he doesn't find some way soon to let off steam. Anything to silence the chaos in his mind and heart. Why, oh why, is it never enough? How many times does he need to search the bottom of this pit? Ecstasy laced with emptiness. He loathes to know it never lasts.

[rcdiostcrs]

orion core

[incompleteninny]

The eighty-seventh free, unedited chapter of my upcoming book, “The Heist at Cordia Aquarium” is now available on its website (or click https://www.kitfisto.gay/chapters/thea to read from the beginning).

The priest's eyes go wide and she ducks out of view, leaving the tips of her dirtied sneakers behind. Visible beyond the cover of milk crates.

Elia's emotions blend together: a near unbearable concoction of relief, mind-scrambling confusion, and anger stoked by jealousy. For a moment, her mind goes back to her mirror. A pocket and an undone clasp away from absolution.

She grinds her teeth as if milling her thoughts into a decision. No. Not yet. I just need to go another hour. She lets her jaw relax, but the jealousy still burns. Why is Bamboo with her?

Thea cowers behind her stack of milk crates, unmoving.

"I can still see you." Elia says.

No response.

She starts forward. "Thea. Why is Bamboo here?"

Not two slaps of work boots later, Thea scrambles into view. "O-oh, E-Elia. I didn't realize it was you." She sniffs at the air once and shrinks into herself. "Sorry. Don't be mad, p-please. Whatever I've done, whatever you're envious of—"

Elia's backfoot clings to the asphalt, stopping her advance. "How do you know that?"

[...]

[timeguardians]

“In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.”

Brianna's jaw TWITCHES at the other's revelation for it is NOT an easy one to swallow. Ghosts of a past she wished to bury. Bury so deep it may never be resurrected. The guilt, the shame, the terror, all came flooding mercilessly back. The fearful eight year old standing over her parents fallen form still dwells deep within, and with her, with that small fragile child, was an OCEAN of unexpelled and unadulterated ANGER. Anger which blazes through her every vein and strikes a dagger deep into her slowly thrumming heart.

"How?" She tremulously whispers to the sagely man. Swallowing down, Wayne presses deeper. "How do you give yourself hope?"

[bewitchingomen]

Bit of Advice (to my father, mainly)

DON'T ever make a joke out of my speech impediment because depending on how my bipolar disorder is affecting me I will react very angrily!

[newbbystay]

This was so perfect. Down to their behavior to their reactions to their realization. It's so well done.

Look after you

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 X gn reader

Summary: When the idol life gets too tough, you're right there to try and make it better.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 5.2K

Trigger warning: Anger, insecurities, depression, anxiety, and mentions of dieting and fainting.

A/N: Please take this with a grain of salt because I don't think some of this is accurate. I write so much about the guys giving us comfort, but I reversed it and wrote about giving them comfort. If it somehow reaches them, I hope they feel seen.

Too many people forget that idols aren't ours. It's a privilege to watch them bloom and it's taken for granted too much. This is my love letter to them. Please be kind to your idols. We have no idea the true extent of what they've been through. They're humans too.

_ _ _

Chan: 

The sound of banging and clanging in the kitchen caused your head to jolt up from your spot on the couch with a start. Sleep crusted in the corner of your eyes, but that was the least of your worries. You struggled to set the weight of your body up. Instability clutched onto you from the sleepy lack of awareness. 

Footsteps drifted from one side of the kitchen to the other. Condiments rattled as a refrigerator door slammed shut. Panic squeezed your heart and you blinked rapidly. Someone was intruding in your space and in your home. You needed to call the cops and-

There was a loud crash and something shattered on impact. “Fuck!” Chan’s voice cut through the air. You jumped, but then relaxed at the sound of his voice. 

You moved as quickly as you could while calling out his name. When you rounded the corner, Chan’s hand went up. “Don’t come in here, I dropped a plate.” 

He wasn’t lying. One of the plates was on the ground and pieces shattered like stars. A crescent laid off to one side. They dotted the tile floor and you took another step closer. 

“Hey, I said don’t!” Chan barked. “God, why can’t anyone listen? First, it’s the fans and now it’s you. Why can’t anyone just listen to me? Everyone always thinks they’re helping and they’re not!” 

You blinked, taken back by the sudden harsh tone of voice. Last you knew, everything was fine when he left this morning. He said the band was recording another new song. You spent the day hanging around the house because it was your day off. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You finally asked with a frown. 

“That’s what it means. Get out of the kitchen before you get glass in your bare feet. Go away, so I can clean this up.” 

“What happened with the fans?” You pressed further. 

“There was a misunderstanding and they sent those stupid trucks to set out in front of the company building. It makes the company look bad and management is blaming me. It’s not my fucking fault, but someone has to be blamed.” 

He sucked in a deep breath, shut his eyes, and frowned. “I love the fans, but sometimes they don’t think before they act. They forget that we have a whole team around us. Sometimes we don’t make every little decision, management does and we do what we’re told. It’s not as simple as they make it out to be.” 

“Oh, Channie…” 

“Please don’t say that.” His chin dipped to his chest. Being a leader was hard and it was harder dealing with the burden of everything. 

Everyone says it’s a privilege to be the leader. To be the one who paves the way for the group. To make sure everyone is playing their part. The truth is that even the leader needs to be led sometimes. Even the leader needs to be coddled and attended with love and affection. 

He refused it, but you knew it deep down. You could see it in his actions. The way he’d grab you and nuzzle his face into the back of your neck. His arms would wrap around you tightly and he’d stay that way forever if you let him. 

You saw it in the way he’d playfully pout when you had to leave. He knew you had your own life, but he only wanted another minute of your warmth. The need for love oozed out of every pore and you’d do anything to keep him happy. 

His eyes opened the moment that he felt hands on his body. He jerked up to see you standing in front of him. You snuck your way through shards of glass unscathed. 

“Babe, I told you to leave the kitchen.” 

“The love of my life needs a reminder that he’s still loved. Despite the chaos from fans and the occasional burden of the leader position, you’re still you. I’m still allowed to love you, you know?” On your tip-toes, you raised yourself upright and pressed a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. 

Scarlet swamped his cheeks and that dimpled shy smile began to grow. Being a leader was hard, but with a little extra love from the people around him, it’d always be worth it. 

_ _ _ 

Minho: 

You knew something was amiss when Minho’s nostrils flared. It was such a small tell and you weren’t sure if he knew he did it. He only did it when something seemed to be on his mind. Something was driving him insane internally and you were going to figure it out. 

He was putting on the outfit he was supposed to wear to perform at the awards show in the next few hours. Instead of getting ready with the guys, he opted to hang out with you in the hotel room. Later, he’d meet up with the rest of the group and they’d head to the venue. 

You watched him from your stomach. Your body sunk into the soft comforter. Your arms held up your head and your socked feet lightly kicked empty air behind you. 

The curtains were shut to keep out creeps and the TV was faint while playing some local news channel. Glimpses of the weatherman kept disappearing underneath the screen of a rain forecast. A thunderstorm was prowling around and while you were relaxed, Minho wasn’t. 

“What’s the issue?” You finally asked after he tugged on the button down shirt again. He had been tugging and tugging, but it didn’t seem to help. 

“The stylist gave me a stupid outfit,” he muttered beneath his breath. 

You took in the sheer white button down. It was tucked into a pair of black dress pants. His bare feet poked out of the legs. You raked your eyes up and down a few more times before cocking your head. “I don’t see the issue.” 

He gestured towards the screen. “Do you not see that it’s supposed to rain? The performance is outside and the shirt is sheer. You know that I don’t want to show my stomach.”

“Oh, I didn’t even think about that.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought about the situation in front of you. Your top teeth pressed into your bottom lip and then it hit. 

“Wait! I’ve got it!” You threw yourself into a roll from the bed and you headed over to your suitcase to find something. 

Minho hated the scar on his stomach since forever. You never minded it, but he did. You mindlessly threw stuff onto the beige carpet trying to find the right item. 

“It gets really old. I try my best to do my job without complaint, but shit like this seems to happen far more than it should. I’ve told the stylists over and over again that I’m not happy with these things, but it keeps happening.”

You finally grabbed the item and stood up. “Okay, I’ve got it! Do you know what a tube top is? It’s a stretchy fabric that sits over the middle of your torso. It covers your top half, so you’re not spilling titty all over th-” 

He snatched the fabric from your fingers and began to examine it. With a hum, he held it up to the yellow light of the room. He turned it one way and another before he seemed content enough. 

“It’s a thin fabric, but it’s thick enough that if your shirt gets wet, it’ll keep your skin hidden. Nobody will be able to see what you don’t want them to.” 

“Great.” 

“You’re welcome,” you beamed. 

“Perfect to keep my tits hidden from the fans, but just promiscuous enough to keep their focus on my ass.” 

Even after a minor issue, Minho was still Minho. 

_ _ _ 

Changbin: 

“Am I good enough for you or is our relationship just another act?” 

You froze with multiple noodles dangling down your chin. Warm broth rolled down your neck and you blinked. His words echoed in your head and you swallowed with a loud gulp. The back of your hand went up to wipe away the sodium infused juice and your voice came out confused. “What?” 

“Do you love me for me?” 

With caution, you placed the cup of instant ramen back on the wooden table. Changbin stood in the entrance of the kitchen with a frown. His curly black hair was messy on the top of his head. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying that if you don’t love me, you should just go.” His voice cracked and his bottom lip quivered. He tried to get it to stop, but the tears pooling in his eyes gave away his inner thoughts. 

Your heart shredded in your chest and you pushed yourself away from the table. You rushed to his side, worried that you said the wrong thing at some point. Your hair flew as you jerked your head rapidly. 

“No, no, no! What happened? Binnie, you know that I really love you. Why would I-” 

“Because I think the people that I call my fans aren’t really my fans. It feels like they’re more eager to ignore me and voice their negative opinions while praising the other guys. I just feel…” He shut his eyes as a tear leaked out. 

“It’s not a competition, Bin.” You reached up and gently cupped his cheeks. “You know that the guys never want to compare themselves to other members. You’re living your dreams and it’s not about who looks the best or has the most charming points. It’s not a survival show anymore, this is your life.” 

His head sank into the warmth of your hands. Your thumb shifted and you gently wiped away the fallen tears. “What happened to make you feel so glum?” 

“Some of the fans ignored me at an event. I waved to the crowd and they didn’t respond, but when one of the other guys stuck his head out, they cheered.” 

“They don’t deserve you.” You tipped his head up gently. “Please look at me.” When his eyes reopened, your heart fluttered with joy. You couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on your face. 

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You haven’t even met a fourth of the fans that truly love you. Don’t let a small group of people bring you down. For every person that hates you, there’s another ten that love you.” 

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 

“I’m saying it because I believe it. If they want to miss out on your charms and your cuteness, let them. That means I can have you all for myself and look at you.” You grinned and gently pinched his cheeks. 

“Hey!” He jerked backwards as his face turned red. He gently rubbed them and turned away. “Don’t touch my cheeks like that, they’re sensitive.” 

“I’ll touch your other cheeks.” 

He spun around to face you with wide eyes. Before he could react, you replaced your hands on his cheeks. You lightly pressed down to make his lips press together. Without wasting time, your soft lips met his. 

It took him a moment before he kissed back. When he pulled away, he couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on his face. You grinned and put your hands on your hips. “I should do that more often. You look so cute when you’re embarrassed.” 

“Ah, stop it.” He spun back around and rubbed his cheeks. “You’re making me feel embarrassed.” 

“That’s called love and I’ve got so much more of it. Get back here and I’ll show you just how much I love you.” 

He glanced over his shoulder. “Is that a threat?” 

“Just a promise.” 

_ _ _ 

Hyunjin: 

You woke up to the emptiness beside you once again. This was the third night in a row. The first night you ignored it. The second night you assumed that Hyunjin was in the bathroom. The third night, tonight, you were determined to find out what the issue was. 

You yawned and rubbed your bleary eyes. The neon red lights of the alarm clock let you know that it was two in the morning. Two in the morning and Hyunjin was usually sound asleep beside you by this time, but you couldn’t sleep without his warmth. 

You pulled open the door to your bedroom and made your way down the creaking hallway until you peeked around the hallway. Hyunjin sat silently with one of the couch pillows on his lap. His fingers mindlessly played with the fringe and his eyes stared off into the darkened television. A lamp pulsed a hazy yellow beside him and lit up his silhouette. 

“Hi, sleepyhead,” you mumbled as you headed towards him. You couldn’t bear to part ways with the warmth of your oversized fleece blanket. Hyunjin picked it out for your past birthday and you adored it. It stayed strung over your shoulders as you approached the other side of the couch. 

He glanced over at the sight of your shadow. When he saw you, he gave you a faint smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. You plopped down and turned towards him. Your legs folded beneath your body and you sighed. 

“Can’t sleep either?” He offered softly. 

“Not without you in the bed.” 

“Oh.” 

A silence hung between you for a few seconds. You pulled the blanket over yourself tighter. “So what’s keeping you awake this late at night?” 

“You know me well.” 

“Of course, I do. I’m dating you, aren’t I?” 

His chest bucked with a snicker and he shook his head. “I never get tired of your attitude.” 

“You’re avoiding my question.” 

He sighed and leaned back against the black velvet. “I guess I’m just up and thinking about life.” 

“Care to explain?” 

“It’s a privilege to be attractive in this society. I’m constantly told that all the time and I like being told that. Don’t get me wrong, it makes me feel amazing, but I just…” He shrugged. “I want to be more than just a pretty face. I want to be known for my talents too.” 

“You know, people used to tell me when I became a trainee that I’d get in just because I had an attractive face. I worked my ass off and no matter how much I tried to be seen as something more, it’s all people see me as. Maybe it’s a horrible thing to say, but sometimes, I wish I looked a bit more average.” 

You hummed softly as you listened. He leaned back and let his eyes wander up to the ceiling. “Maybe I’m just a narcissist of some sorts. I should be grateful because it’s a blessing, but I keep looking at it as a curse.” 

“Well, it is a blessing, but you’re allowed to feel how you wanna feel.” You drifted to the side and let your cheek press against the side of the couch. “Nobody has the right to tell you what you can and what you can’t feel. You do amazing things, but if that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel.” 

“I just want to be recognized for more once in a while.” 

“Have you seen the videos?” 

His eyebrows furrowed and he glanced over. “Of what?” 

“Your fans making edits of your artwork and your dancing? Just those two things? There’s probably hundreds of videos where people are analyzing your art. A thousand more people dissecting your dancing and trying to figure out your flow and how you move.” 

“I-” 

“You want me to go get my phone?” Your head perked up. “I have a ton of them saved. You’re so much more than you give yourself credit for. You’re loved so much and I don’t think you realize the extent of it.” 

Another smile appeared on his face. Beneath the dim lamp light, a sparkle caught his eye. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” 

“Only a couple thousand times and I hope I get to hear it, at least, a million times more.” 

_ _ _ 

Han: 

Instead of taking off his shoes normally, he kicked them off. He jerked off his side bag full of pins and chucked it onto the couch. With a soft sniffle, he walked through the empty halls and wandered into your shared bedroom. 

It was there that he jerked back the freshly made bed, climbed into it, and curled beneath the blankets. Tears filled his boba eyes and he turned. His face buried into the pillow and his world went dark. 

A few minutes later, your keychain jingled as you stepped inside the house. A smile spread across your face once you saw Han’s shoes nearby. He was home before you for once and you couldn’t wait to see him. 

Giddy with delight, you jerked off your shoes and rushed through the house to find him. When the kitchen and living room were empty, you headed to the one place you assumed he was. The bedroom door opened with a loud creak. 

“Han, my love, where are you?” 

The smile fell from your face when teary eyes met yours. Across the way, Han had pulled down the blanket that was covering his face. When you didn’t say anything, he tugged it back over his face and rolled around, so his back was to you. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You stepped forward with outstretched hands. All you wanted to do was comfort the love of your life. “What happened?” 

“Life.” 

At the side of the bed, you reached out and let your hand fall onto the side of his body. “Which part? What happened?” 

When he didn’t respond, you pulled up half the covers. You wasted no time slipping beneath them and curling against his body. Your leg fell over his and you pulled him close. 

“You can try all you want, but I’m not going to let you ignore me.” 

“It’s just been a really rough day. I’ve been anxious all day and we filmed content. I know I don’t appear the best in it and it’s going to worry the fans. I don’t mean to make them worry so much.” 

“They worry about me so much that sometimes it’s hard to discern me from my anxiety. I struggle, it’s true, but I’m not always so miserable as people make it out to be. People like to treat anxiety as some horrendous thing and yes it’s horrible, but it’s not like I can’t function because of it.” 

“Ah, I think I understand what you mean.” You leaned forward and let your chin slip against the side of his neck. “You want them to be considerate of it, but not overstep and worry so much?” 

“Something like that, I guess. Lately, I feel like it’s been eating me alive. They don’t make it difficult, but they make it hard to find a balance sometimes. I’m not my mental illness, but some people like to paint it as that.” 

“That’s right, you’re not your mental illness. You’re Han Jisung. A singer, a songwriter, a guitar player, an artist, a dancer, a rapper, and most importantly-” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “My favorite little rockstar.” 

One of his cheeks began to tilt up into a rounded smile. “I think I can get used to being called that.” 

“New pet name secured. Seriously though, take it one day at a time. They just want what’s best for you and sometimes they worry too much. You might not be able to say things to them sometimes, but you can focus on yourself and your mental health, that’s what’s most important.” 

“I guess you’re right.” 

“Now that that’s cleared up, I can kiss it better.” 

He let out a yelp as you kissed the side of his neck. He tried to roll away, but your arms wrapped around him tighter. When you began to plant kisses all over his face, his smile grew between laughs. 

What a privilege to be loved by someone like you. 

_ _ _ 

Felix: 

You noticed it the moment that Felix tried to sit down across from you. The hitch in his breath and the way his eyes squeezed shut in pain. The way his fists tightened and the deep breath he had to take before he sat down the rest of the way. 

The sight was so alarming that you jerked upright from your sprawled out position on the couch. “Is it your back again?” 

He weakly nodded as he sat down. His eyes went up to the ceiling as he tried to ignore the familiar shot of pain in his spine. He’d felt this too many times before, it was so familiar, yet it still hurt every time. 

You frowned, disappointed that you couldn’t take away his pain. All you could do was watch as he shifted and his nose scrunched in discomfort. It took him a few moments, but he finally got his back pressed against the back of the couch. 

When it was finished, he sucked in another deep breath and shut his eyes. He wasn’t supposed to hurt this much today. He stretched before dance practice and took all the proactive steps to making sure his spine stayed healthy, but there were still some days when it ached. 

The pain was sharp and it was throbbing. Some days it ached and other days, it was like a drill was circling at that same pressure point over and over and over again. Today, it felt worse than it had felt in months. Ever since that spine injury, something always seemed to be wrong at the wrong times. 

He blinked rapidly, trying to push the saddened thoughts and the pain further away from his head. Part of being an idol was discipline. It was fighting through the pain, no matter how bad it got. It was putting on a brave face, even when inside you were crumbling and breaking apart. 

The idol industry was the biggest facade of the century, but he had to keep it together for his image. For the fans that were the reason he kept going. For the company that took a chance on him all those years ago and helped him carve out these dreams. He had to keep it together for everyone, but he didn’t have to keep it together for you. 

You told him that over and over and over again, but he was so used to hiding the pain. Whether it was physical or mental, he was used to keeping things hidden. He was used to forcing a smile when it all felt pointless. He was used to all of it, but he wasn’t used to the surge of emotion that zapped his heart when you softly called out his name. 

“You’re allowed to be in pain here.” 

Such simple words held so much meaning and you had no idea. Tears quickly filled his eyes and he wiped them away. You were up on the couch and within seconds, you were on your knees in front of him. Your hands gently gripped his wrists and his bloodshot eyes met yours. 

“It hurts so bad,” he finally uttered. “Sometimes it hurts so bad that I’m not even sure if it’s worth the idol life. You have no idea how much it hurts.” 

You wanted to reach up and hug him, but you hated the idea of making things worse. Instead, your hands laced his. Your thumbs found the back of his hands and you soothingly rubbed circles. 

“Sometimes I-I just… I don’t know.” 

“Will you just let me take care of you tonight? Let me help you and get you into an epsom salt bath. Your doctor mentioned that, right?” 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. Emotions were stacked high and they were leaking out, but there wasn’t a single trace of judgement on your face. Instead, it was just pure understanding and acceptance. 

“No matter what you choose, I’ll always be here.” 

“I love you.” 

“And I love you too.” With a final squeeze of his hands, you let go, stood up, and leaned forward to gently press a kiss to his forehead. 

He shut his eyes and accepted it. A wave of peace and tranquility sank through his body. “Thank you for understanding.” 

“Thank you for being mine.”

_ _ _ 

Seungmin: 

“Sometimes I think it was stupid to give up the dream of playing baseball.” 

“And why is that?” Your head tipped up to glance down at him. The two of you were in bed and your body was on top of his. Your eyes found his, but he couldn’t meet your gaze. 

“Because some of this stuff is stupid. Maybe it’s because I feel uncomfortable in certain clothing and management tries to force me into it anyway. Perhaps, it’s because there’s still people out there calling me awful names. Maybe it’s because I’m fucking exhausted and haven’t been able to catch a break in months.” 

His eyes met the ceiling and he refused to look at you. He was fuming after a new text from his manager. Someone accidentally deleted a file somewhere and now the group had to record an entire song again. The worst part? He had to be in early the next morning and it was going to ruin your planned breakfast date. 

“Well, it sounds like your managers fucking suck sometimes. I think that if you don’t want to wear something, you should be able to give them the middle finger and tell them to fuck off.” 

“Sometimes, I wish.” 

“And people are just dumb.” You shifted and pushed yourself up. Your knees propped your body up against the sides of his torso and your arms crossed. “I’m sorry that not everyone can be hot and sexy. Clearly, they’re just jealous of your looks.” 

He rolled his eyes and you scoffed. “I know you did not just give me an attitude when I am trying to make you feel better.” 

“Blah, blah, blah.” 

“Kim fucking Seungmin, I swear to god-” 

“You’re not going to get into the pearly gates of heaven with that mouth.” 

“And for the last part,” you shot him a glare. “You can tell your management that you can’t come in because you have a score to settle with me. Sorry, Chan, my baby can’t sing today. I’m too busy giving him an attitude adjustment.” 

“Better to need an attitude adjustment than a personality adjustment like some people.” His eyes glittered with mischief as they met yours. Your jaw dropped in shock. “You’re gonna catch flies.” 

“And you’re about to catch hands.” 

You jerked a fist towards his face, not planning on hurting him. He grabbed it before you got too far and shoved. You yelped as your body twisted. Within seconds, he was sitting on top of you. 

“Now about that attitude adjustment you were speaking about…” 

_ _ _ 

Jeongin: 

“Being an idol is so hard.” Jeongin grumbled as he rubbed his hands over his face. “All I want to do is have cake and ice cream for your birthday, but no. I’m too busy being on a strict diet and I can’t have any.” 

“Well, you could just work it off tomorrow or you could just have a bite or two. Maybe you could have half a slice and half a bowl of ice cream.” 

“You’re not helping.” 

You shrugged and stuck your fork back into the chocolate cake you were eating. With your birthday came special privileges, like cake and ice cream. Jeongin bought it without you asking for it. 

The small circular cake was covered with rainbow sprinkles and vanilla icing. The added ice cream was the cherry on top. You were enjoying your indulgences, but Jeongin wasn’t. Instead, he was beside you pouting. 

“You do know that having a special treat once in a while is okay, right?” 

“I know, but I don’t want to mess up this diet. I’ve been on it for the past week and giving up now would be dumb.” 

“Is this the same diet that Changbin has been on that involves a lot of chicken?” 

“Maybe.” 

Your nose scrunched up and you shook your head. The two of you continued to talk until his head snapped up. He pushed himself off the chair rather quickly. “I forgot your present.” 

“I don’t need a present. I told you that I didn’t want a present. Really, the cake and ice cream were enough.” 

He waved you off and started towards the bedroom when the floor suddenly swayed beneath him. His vision began to speckle and the room flipped. You were about to take another bite of your cake when you watched him drop. 

“Jeongin!” You cried out as you dropped the plate on the table. The chair loudly scraped across the floor and you rushed towards his side, but it was too late. He hit the ground with a loud thud. 

Your hand quickly cupped his cheek and you gently called his name. It took him a few seconds, but his eyes fluttered open. He called your name and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank god, I thought you weren’t breathing. What happened? You seemed fine and then you just collapsed.” 

“I don’t know. The room got super dizzy and I felt confused. My vision cut out and now I’m here.” 

“Are you injured? Can you wiggle your limbs? Are you still dizzy?” 

You forced him to stay put as you checked him over. You carefully checked his head and after making him lay there for a few minutes, you finally allowed him to get up. You grabbed his hands and gently led him back to the kitchen table. 

He shut his eyes, trying to calm down his pounding heart. When he opened them, there was a small piece of cake and a bowl of ice cream. He looked at you with a frown and opened his mouth, but you beat him to it. 

“Please don’t fight me on this and eat it. I think your blood sugar levels dropped and you need to get it back up, so this doesn’t happen again.” 

“But I-” 

“If your company and you want to sue me, fine. As an idol, you’re supposed to take care of yourself and this, whether you want to believe it or not, is taking care of yourself.” 

Defeated, he jabbed his fork into the cake. He scooped up a piece and brought it to his mouth. “I just wanna look good.” 

“And you do look good. You always look good, baby. You don’t need a constant diet of rice and chicken breast.” 

He jerked his head back with a groan. “You know how I feel about being called a baby. I’m not a baby!” 

“Well, it’s true. You’re my baby and I love you. For my next birthday present, you can enjoy a little cake and ice cream.” 

“You’re lucky I love you.” 

“And you’re lucky that I think you’re as sweet as these treats.” 

He couldn’t stop the endearing smile as you pressed a soft kiss against the side of his temple. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

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Taglist and inbox rules

[shepscapades]

A last life ethubs comic that isn’t really about last life ethubs

[blessed-bruises]

˚₊‧ ⊰ ⸸ ⊱ ‧₊˚

[satirredraws]

You can never go back.

[mothvalentino]

"Baby, did you want context and the REST of the conversation, or are you good with that high dive jump to the wrong conclusion based off of what looks like thirty seconds of shitty b-roll that Brandon shot from the front seat thinking he's some sort of half-assed prison snitch?" { from Angel }

ཐིཋྀ "Oh please, enlighten me. What context am I missing when you said..."

Val pulls out his phone and skips to the part in the recording he's talking about, playing Angel's voice for both of them to hear.

“I thought that you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You were smart and funny and so SO charming. More my type than even Val was honestly; you were someone I could have fallen in love with much too easily…”

Val's glower remains in the following silence. When he speaks again his tone is full of malice.

"From the very beginning, you were more into Vox than you ever were into me. You fucking said it yourself right here. And you lied to my face, telling me you always loved me. I release you from your contract and the first thing you do with your freedom is go to him. I don't give a fuck about your context, your actions speak for themselves. You climbed into his lap, you said you wanted him to love you... and all of it behind my back. If this was all for my sake, then why the fuck would you not tell me about any of this in the first place??"

[la1npilledg1rl]

“have you ever just cried because you’re you”

[incompleteninny]

The eighty-eighth free, unedited chapter of my upcoming book, “The Heist at Cordia Aquarium” is now available on its website (or click https://www.kitfisto.gay/chapters/thea to read from the beginning).

Thea's voice pierces through clouds and severs Elia's train of thought. "S-sorry; blabbering on about nothing."

Breathing slow, Elia opens her eyes and looks over the priest. She's rough — as unkempt as the alley. Dirt smudges all over her cassock and face, untrimmed fingernails with more dirt caked underneath, and the smell. No shower in at least a week.

Around her, milk crates form the walls of a ramshackle shelter. Torn t-shirts and bedsheets stretch overtop; a Frankenstein fabric riddled with holes. Far above that, a window-mounted air conditioner drips condensation, which falls through said holes and onto a pile of more ragged fabric. Thea's bed, no doubt. Or a makeshift pillow. Or it's just trash. Hard to tell.

"What happened to you?" Elia says.

[...]