#like whos ur daddy now is so funny right

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

im bored does anyone wanna talk about how Glenn and Willy are actually extremely similar. no???? too bad bitch anyway,,,,

They literally have the exact same parenting style. Which is that they do not want to be parents at all lol. Either because its too hard or annoying or because it's limiting their careers and so they abandon their children and essential force them to raise themselves. I fully believe that Nick had more then a few "making pasta" moments like kid Ron did.

They both have dead wives that before their deaths they more then likely pushed most if not all of the parenting onto. Willy clearly hates kids and doesn't want to deal with Ron and Glenn has absolutely no parenting skills whatsoever and is incredibly immature.

Both of their children grew up with extreme fear about their fathers. Ron grew up terrified because of the constant abuse and gaslighting he dealt with and Nick grew up thinking that if he wasn't the most agreeable, fun and complicit version of himself that his dad would just straight up leave him, resulting in him hurting himself repeatedly for attention. Both of them knew that this was how their children felt and did not change.

They are both comfortable with and prone to acts of violence/murder and often find it funny when others are suffering or in pain because of them.

They both gaslight and manipulate to get their way and truly don't care about how it effects others as long as they get what they want.

They are both incredibly selfish and apathetic to others. They both don't really have friends seemingly just because they suck to be around.

They both had absent/addict fathers.

They are both canonically hot(this is nothing but I felt like bringing it up).

They both don't like kids despite having children.

They both were in isolation prisons for extreme amounts of time that kinda drove them insane and fucked up their charisma stats.

They both did deez nutz jokes because they are both fucking stupid idiot losers.

Anyway thats all I can think of rn but there's definitely more here. Friendly reminder that Glenn/Willy is objectively the fucking funniest ship and Freddy if you're reading this make it canon come on I wanna see that weird flirting/chemistry thing you have with Anthony but through the some of the worst characters in the show

[youaresimplylovely]

Fashion n' Cars (Part Six)

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗟𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘀 𝗛𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘁𝗼𝗻 + F1 Grid 𝘅 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻!𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹!𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳, 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘅𝗶𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗲𝘄 >< 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗱𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗹 𝗳𝗰: 𝗘𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗷𝗸𝘄𝗼𝘀𝗸𝗶 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱! 𝗮/𝗻: 𝗹𝗲𝘄 𝗹𝗲𝘄 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗻!?!?! 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝘂𝘆𝘀 𝗶𝗸 𝘆𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘀𝘀

𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺

𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺

[part one] [part two] [part three] [part four] [part five]

ynverstappen

liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, and 50,290,081

ynverstappen first date with lew lew ><

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maxverstappen1 first picture was actually funny.

ynverstappen AWW BABE HE SAID U'RE FUNNY @lewishamilton lewishamilton he loves me <3 maxverstappen1 not.

georgerussell63 picture credits on the first one, thanks 🤣

landonorris credits also to the guy who beat him. lewishamilton it was one damn match. landonorris and i still won over a world champion 😘

lewishamilton beautiful baby 😍

ynverstappen love u lew leww lewishamilton i love you more baby 😍😘 maxverstappen pure bs. pierregasly istg how does he know these acronyms 😭 maxverstappen1 you can't be serious.

lewishamilton

liked by ynverstappen, maxverstappen1, and 10.973,028

lewishamilton is this soft or hard launch, idrk baby @ynverstappen

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ynverstappen AWWW THATS CALLED A HARD LAUNCH BABY <33

lewishamilton oh well then it's a hard launch ❤

user6 AWWW MAXIE IS LIKING THE POSTTT AAAA

mercedesamgf1 we see youuuuuu @redbullracing @maxverstappen1

redbullracing 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ maxverstappen1 true.

josverstappen7

liked by ynverstappen, lewishamilton, and 134,270 others

josverstappen7 welcome to the family zoon. @lewishamilton

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lewishamilton had fun with you guys! Thank you Jos! 😊

josverstappen7 oh it's not a problem! You can call me dad now 😉 maxverstappen1 DAD!?!?!?! EXCUSE ME!?!!?!? ynverstappen AWW DADDY <333 landonorris which one ynverstappen STFU landonorris lololol

ynverstappen u see dat third pic, that means i still love u @maxverstappen

maxverstappen1 sure. i love you.

maxverstappen1

liked by lewishamilton, ynverstappen, and 3,098,892 others

maxverstappen1 life recently. *sigh*

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ynverstappen

liked by lewishamilton, josverstappen7, and 44,932,071 others

ynverstappen beach dayyyyyyy

comments are limited

lewishamilton gorgeous baby girl 😘

ynverstappen <33333333 maxverstappen1 i hate every damn moment of this.

ynverstappen

liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, and 80,389,237 others

ynverstappen still loooove uuuuuuu maxieeeeeee

comments are limited

maxverstappen1 so after you post ur date with ur bf u post me? But damn right. i was first. i love you too.

ynverstappen i limited the comments for u ><

TAGLIST

@euphoricchills @charlesleclerx @amethyst-bitch @dr4g0ngirl @likedbygaslyy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bibissparkles @shelbyteller @lokideservesahug @darleneslane @hiireadstuff @urfavouriteanon @spookystitchery @justtprachisblog @xoscar03 @snapeeballsack @silverxxs-world @thearchieves @destinyg237 @juliee4everial @thebasicbiatch @glossiersworld @aadu2173 @honethatty12 @halleest @callsignwidow @evie-119 @exotic-iris13 @dark-night-sky-99 @delululeclerc @eiaaasamantha @hrts4scarr @felicityforyou @sya-skies @hockeyboysarehot @iloveyou3000morgan @sugaspawsmari @aymfsts @khaylin27 @be-your-coffee-pot @yettobedetermined7 @dhanihamidi @formula1simp @formula1simp @lanadelray1989 @petrifying-risotto @erikasurfer @deerieeme @someonewhosfallenapart @charlottef1 @bokutos-babyowl @lilliths-world @e-nonsense @iliyad @a-beaverhausen @doodlehunz @peachiicherries @amoresdejarrys @youdon

[flamingtouya]

𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —

pairing: dabi + f!reader

word count: 4381

cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two

summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.

a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)

Mar 02  10:07 PM

Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out Unknown: And paper towels

You: who is this??

Unknown: So funny

You: u got the wrong number my guy 

Unknown: Shit Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn? 

You: try the convenience store You: where’s the body at, anyways

Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out

You: sounds enticing You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast

You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though

Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong

You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨

Unknown: U sound cute Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime

You: that’s so sexist You: and correct You: you'd do numbers on reddit

Mar 03 00:16 AM

You: hey don’t leave now

Mar 03 00:34 AM

Unknown: Had a body to take care of

You: you didn’t wait for me? :(

Unknown: … Unknown: Are u fr

You: ofc not You: i don’t hang out with edgelords

Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways

You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me

Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness 

Mar 03 01:09 AM

Unknown: So wyd

You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?

Unknown: I do Unknown: I want to bother you tho

You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this

Unknown: Is that a complaint

You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up

Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid 

You: can’t mute unknown numbers

Unknown: Save this one then Unknown: Or block me idc

You: what name should i put it under

Unknown: Dabi 

You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord

Dabi: Stfu

You: good night to you too

Mar 03  07:58 AM

You: fuck

Mar 03 3:56 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me that bad 

Mar 03 4:32 PM

You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely

Mar 03 5:19 PM 

Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society

You: why what do you do

Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it

You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for You: did you just get up

Dabi: Hey now  Dabi: Yes  Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle

You: you are everything I am jealous of

Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good 

You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u

Dabi: Omg no way 

Mar 03 5:40 PM

You: no way what

Dabi: No way you said something witty 

Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all

You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul

Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already 

You: your turn

Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me

Dabi: That was a lie 

You: so you’re a liar

Dabi: I suppose I might be

You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. &lt;3

Mar 03 9:12 PM

You: you probably have daddy issues

Mar 03 11:34 PM 

Dabi: Mind your business 

You: so i’m right

Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it

You: that’s a yes then

Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad 

You: LMAO You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then

Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off

You: alright i’ll stop digging You: wait how old are you You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude You: please no

Mar 04 00:02 AM

Dabi: Chill I’m 48

Mar 04 00:06 AM 

You: say sike right now You: if u rly are then i’m half your age

Dabi: You thought Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho

You: give or take a few days lol

Dabi: When’s your birthday 

You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it

Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older 

You: 🤨 You: it’s at the end of this month

Dabi: Baby 

You: are u flirting with me or insulting me

Dabi: Can’t I be doing both 

Mar 04 06:30 AM

You: love me a guy who can multitask You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels

Mar 04 11:11 AM

You: it’s 11:11 make a wish

Mar 04 2:02 PM

You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule

Mar 04 2:59 PM 

Dabi: Anybody hear sum 

You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping

Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy

You: X

Dabi: What's that mean

You: X for doubt You: it’s a meme

Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔

You: ew

Dabi: I was joking  Dabi: …unless 

You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate

Mar 04 7:10 PM

Dabi: What do you study 

You: are you trying to find out my location

Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it

You: that’s a consolation You: forensic science You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting

Dabi: So you do have bleach 

You: never said i didn’t

Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score

You: we haven’t met You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u

Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho

You: bet You: are you handsome You: asking for a friend You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying

Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking 

You: ...well played

Mar 04 10:09 PM 

Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy 

You: thought you were “freelancing”

Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age

You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀

Dabi: Perhaps I do

You: u r so mysterious You: tell me an opinion 

Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird 

You: that’s not an opinion 

Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population

You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself 

Mar 05 02:26 AM

Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few 

Mar 05 05:16 AM

You: what are you, some kind of druglord This message could not be delivered.

You: I knew it This message could not be delivered.

Mar 0512:03 PM

You: ayo are you still there This message could not be delivered.

You: this is only funny if you come clean right now This message could not be delivered.

Mar 05 4:16 PM

You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days? This message could not be delivered.

You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u This message could not be delivered.

You: won't even miss u This message could not be delivered.

Mar 06 09:00 AM

You: hello is this thing on This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 3:15 PM

You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324 This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 8:46 PM

You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant sencha if they have the good one ground pepper, lemon juice This message could not be delivered.

Mar 08 04:44 AM

Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams

You: I'm killing you You: violently

Unknown: I was hoping softly Unknown: With your song

You: are these messages being monitored You: am i a suspect

Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate Unknown: I guess now they are

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing

Dabi: Aw you missed me Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest

You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw

Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎

You: somehow i have doubts about that statement You: animal abuse is no joke

Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything

You: 69

Mar 08 08:21 AM

Dabi: It was 72 Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return

You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question

Dabi: No

You: in that case You: which of the following activities did you partake in? 1.) vandalism 2.) drug dealing 3.) drug trafficking 4.) violent crimes 5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals 6.) assisting someone in a violent crime 7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime 8.) theft 9.) robbery 10.) hate crimes against a minority 11.) politically motivated acts of defiance 12.) consumption of illegal substances 13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement 14.) domestic terrorism 15.) human trafficking 16.) money laundering 17.) having a good time

Dabi: What the fuck Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice? Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13 Dabi: My turn Dabi: What's your favourite food

You: fr, just like that You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring

Dabi: I ask what I ask

You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement

Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent

Mar 08 10:52 AM

You: i want another question

Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead

You: fine i'll take it You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities

Dabi: Yeah

You: …and?

Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?

You: fine

Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11 Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing

You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad

Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in

You: uh huh, taking notes You: anyway. you get one question. think hard

Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be

You: you're impossible

Mar 08 1:27 PM

You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess

Mar 08 2:23 PM

Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long Dabi: I wouldn't know

You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it

Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out

You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you

Dabi: I love surprises

You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture

Mar 08 7:18 PM

Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec

You: …oh no

Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario

You: alright lay it on me big boy

Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?

You: this is not forensic at all You: how strong is the electricity You: is there a way to shut it off You: where would you hold onto the fence You: can it be damaged

Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person

You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE

Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place

You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution You: will that be all

Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear

You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION

Mar 09 00:08 AM

Dabi: Excellent Dabi: Gonna do some field research Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day

Mar 09 08:01 AM

You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage This message could not be delivered.

Mar 11 6:10 PM

Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho

Mar 11 6:39 PM

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: you're so hot when you're alive 

Mar 11 9:14 PM

Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏

You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery

Dabi: The slipperiest Dabi: You couldn't handle me

You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box  You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth 

Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay 

You: of course 

Dabi: I'm liking this scenario 

Mar 12 01:07 AM 

Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like

Mar 12 01:23 AM

You: i need u 

Dabi: Tell me more

You: to shut your mouth

Dabi: Are you trying to romance me

Mar 12 07:15 AM

You: i'm actually so upset right now  You: can i vent

Mar 12 07:27 AM

Dabi: Listening Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out

You: you're not empathetic enough for that 

Dabi: How would you know 

You: call it a woman's intuition  You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles

Dabi: Let's hear it girl  Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅

You: damn right they aren't You: but unrelated to that You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week  You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee

Dabi: What type of medication 

You: Ativan You: it's prescription only

Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only" 

You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug You: just feel like dying rn

Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this  Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery 

You: ...fukuju pharmacy

Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl 

You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden 

Mar 12 10:02 AM

Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine  Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy  Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?

You: ? ? ?

Mar 12 10:34 AM 

You: did you commit a crime for me  You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast

Dabi: I don't kiss and tell

You: did you follow me home  You: is this how i die

Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep

You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn

Dabi: Whore Dabi: (Respectfully)

You: lmao ur right You: thank you for real though

Dabi: Stfu

Mar 12 1:33 PM

Dabi: Do u like cats

You: yes

Dabi sent an image.

Dabi: Noodle thieving menace 

You: 🥹 You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen

Dabi: He’s hella fast 

You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once

Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime 

Mar 13 00:00 AM

Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post. Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT' Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP' 

You: i know it's you shithead

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: STOP

Unknown: LMAO you thought

Dabi was saved as a contact. 

You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤

Mar 13 04:55 AM

Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics 

Mar 13 06:09 AM

You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought

Dabi: Is it working

You: evidently not

Dabi: Use me in ur thesis  Dabi: I'll be your lab rat

You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars You: what do you have me saved as in your phone

Dabi: I don't save contacts  Dabi: Especially not yours  Dabi: You mean nothing to me 

You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth

Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list

You: do u delete these chats

Dabi: Always

You: that's so romantic You: admit it you're actually a softie

Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me  Dabi: Then I'm the softest 

You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest

Dabi: ... Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that  Dabi: You've left me speechless 

You: 🥵🥵

Dabi: What's your worst quality  Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass  Dabi: *irritating 

You: was that a freudian slip You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable

Dabi: Proving my point so diligently 

You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently' You: i'm rather talkative at times You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me

Dabi: I never would've guessed

You: what's yours? You: besides the obvious

Dabi: Still putting up with you 

Mar 13 7:45 PM

Dabi: Wyd 

You: i burned my rice a little You: but it's edible

Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you 

You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time

Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either 

You: eh, they're alright You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏

Dabi: Omg sick Dabi: Me next

You: it was implied

Mar 13 11:11 PM

Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime  Dabi: No strings attached ofc 

You: i'm down

Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all

You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw

Dabi: I can't tomorrow  Dabi: What about the day after Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed

You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person? You: the day after sounds good

Dabi: Preem

You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station You: about time you had some good karaage You: my treat You: unless that's too far away for u

Dabi: I would fly across the world for u Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine

Mar 14 08:49 AM

You: how will i recognise u You: what do u look like

Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss 

You: i laughed

Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then  Dabi: Do tattoos scare you

You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else You: stand there with your tongue out

Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳

You: don't get any ideas  You: i don't intend to fuck u You: ...for now

Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards 

Mar 14 1:42 PM 

Dabi sent an image. 

Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way 

You: hhh fuck You: are u trying to intimidate me You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe

Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place 

You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u

Dabi: Bet 

You sent an image. 

Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different

You: 😳 You: i'm actually worse

Dabi: We're such a good match

You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe

Dabi: Please shut up

Mar 14 4:16 PM

Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything  Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol 

You: you have such a unique way with words 

Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way 

You: can we make that the first line in our sextape  You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it You: does that make you feel emasculated

Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks  Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule 

You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad 

Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement 

You: you're giving me ideas You: is there a bounty on your head

Dabi: I'm not that important 

Mar 14 9:44 PM

You: so you're just too good to get caught

Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it 

You: thanks for clarifying  You: i feel so safe now 

Dabi: Anytime  Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing 

You: 10 am is crazy  You: u r so vain 

Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔

You: i take it back You: be pretty for me

Mar 15 5:30 AM

You: can't sleep 

Mar 15 7:12 AM

Dabi: How the turntables  Dabi: Are you alright

You: yes  You: it's the good kind of sleepless 

Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all  Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too

You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself 

Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again 

You: should've ghosted me before i got attached

Mar 15 9:54 AM

Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully  

You: you make it so tempting 

Dabi: Getting out of bed then 

You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe

Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth

Mar 15 12:08 PM

Dabi sent a location pin.

Dabi: Is this the place

You: that's the one  You: be there in a few minutes 

Dabi: I'm waiting outside 

Mar 15 12:13 PM

You: omg i think i see u You: im shy

Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me 

You: give me a second You: alright I'm coming over This message could not be delivered.

[verstarppen]

pairing; lando norris x fem! star wars actress! reader [ no faceclaim ] a/n; sorry for not posting i was planning the funeral for max's winning streak and mourning please excuse me ALSO THANK YOU FOR 250 FOLLOWERS I WOULD DIE FOR YOU ALL [ series masterlist ]

liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 983,212 others

yndeathtrooper escaped the after party for a walk

view all 277,322 comments

spookyscaryscuderia the only people on earth who will leave THE EMMYS for a CHICKEN WRAP

alex_albon My invite didn't arrive it's fine guys

danielricciardo Mine neither yndeathtrooper pay the bill alex_albon YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE yndeathtrooper BITCH YOU TOO

astongoatin i'm obsessed with them help me

verstappler DAMN IT the after party pics would've gone hard

monte_carlos_55 live laugh love y/nlando

liked by yn.jpg, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 667,389 others

lando.jpg january

view all 238,982 comments

oscarpiastri Oh the honor of being on a lando.jpg post

lando.jpg enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, mate

haas_shaker THE CAMERA PERSON???

sunbathepapaya the note :((((((((

wafflemango I can't believe I lived to witness Y/nlando make cookies live, what a time to be alive

maxmaxmaxsuper When was this?? What happened?? wafflemango Powder fight, choking on batter, Lando cut his finger THROUGH a strawberry, the oven gave out and they had to call the owner of the guest house because it wouldn't turn on. BUT THEY SURVIVED and apparently it tasted good maxmaxmaxsuper I'm convinced these people are not real

481_landoscar Everyone please pray for Oscar Piastri. He's not dead, just third wheeling.

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, pascalispunk and 4,592,102 others

starwars Something is coming. Something dark.

Meet # MorganElsbeth , # ShinHati and  # HeraSyndulla. Experience the two-episode premiere of @ AhsokaOfficial, a Star Wars Original series, streaming August 23 only on @ DisneyPlus.

view all 953,217 comments

pearlyricciardo ok but is y/n in those two episodes because im not watching otherwise

loleclerc y/n and lando did more marketing for this than any official account 💀💀

danielricciardo But will you be watching them with the star of the show? That's what I thought.

yndeathtrooper holy shit you're watching ahsoka with lars mikkelsen? danielricciardo I wish.

liked by yndeathtrooper, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 281,322 others

mclaren Not long now, boys.⏳

view all 29,004 comments

yndeathtrooper ay who's the guy on the right he's kinda cute

landonorris did you see this in a mirror like?? yndeathtrooper who are you

bellanorris CAN'T WAIT

sugarussell LET'S GO BOYS

stappenlover lando first win this year i'm calling it

liked by yn.jpg, lando.jpg, maxverstappen1 and 119,902 others

daniel3.jpg Took my kids shopping

view all 80,330 comments

yn.jpg thank you father

daniel3.jpg Please don't call me that lando.jpg ur daughter calls me daddy too daniel3.jpg Why would you tell me this

maxverstappen1 Did you get me the yogurt

yn.jpg yes sir 🫡 lando.jpg don't """"sir"""" this loser maxverstappen1 You can repeat that after you pass me yn.jpg LMAOOOOOOO

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, mclaren and 1,808,644 others

yndeathtrooper bye cool hotel sorry for the broken headboard

view all 987,555 comments

goosestappen you broke what

typicallyleclerc YOU CAN'T WATERBOARD THIS INFORMATION OUT OF ME Y'ALL ARE STRONGER FR

chewie_gum mOOOM Y/N AND LANDO ARE BEING WILD ON SOCIAL MEDIA AGAIN

solorgana GET IT GET IT GET IT

landonorris i am speed

yndeathtroopers you're so funny landonorris i know mclaren We wish you were. landonorris what the fuck

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

taglist: @justdreamersdream @cha-hot @dl-yum @minkyungseokie @allywthsr (taglist is open!)

[poppy-metal]

the reader dbf patrick stepdaddy art is DIABOLICAL and i need it RIGHT NOW actually. crying on patricks cock for the first time while art watches like, "im sorry, daddy, 'm sorry, just wanted it so bad, so so badly, you understand, right, you get it?" and the funny thing is, he totally does, because its patrick, yes, he gets it, more than anything he gets it, but this is wrong, isn't it? this is wrong and fucked up and evil, but you're reaching for his belt with wide, wet eyes, begging, "can make it up to you, daddy, can make you feel real good, please, 'm sorry, let me show you how sorry i am" and his resolve just has to crumple.

(obviously there has to be about six million years of YEARNING in between but you know. the horny.)

-kit ♡♡♡

@gamesetart ur sick for enabling me. i slowed things down a little bc i was cooking but the outcome will probably eventually be this. LMAO

under a cut because like patrick, this is sending me straight to hell i fear.

skipping ahead a million years just to fuck stepdad!art who also happens to be patricks ex who hes never gotten over and has been friends with this whole time - maybe its his fault actually, that you fall in love with patrick at the tender age of 14 - because art loves him so much. hes around so much. like father like daughter, right? he might not be your dad by blood but he is in every other way that counts - he has full custody - your mom been out of the picture for awhile now. its almost like having two dad, growing up. you think art and patrick are closer than any two men you've seen before. but they date other women so you don't think much of it - you want art to be happy again. you dont blame him for leaving your mother, you're just happy he took you with him.

anyway - falling for patrick is inevitable - it burns inside you like a wildfire you have no chance of stopping, so you dont try.

and patrick..... maybe he's given up hope on art after all these years. they'd had something brief and tangible in college - but it'd fizzled out - art had pretended it didn't happen. and patrick loved art too much to press the issue. he'd been content to live forever being arts best friend and nursing a flame for him that would never be returned.

and then you'd come along - it'd been hell watching art get married - he never liked that bitch, anyway, for more reasons than sharing arts bed. she treated her kid like dirt. art even worse. it got to a point where the only reason art was staying around was for you - he couldn't leave you. you were just a kid. and art had only been with you for three years but it was enough. enough for him to love you. enough for him to martyr himself for you and stay in an unhappy marriage if it meant he could play the role of daddy for you.

it may have been him who planted the seed. he'd met you a few times by that point, but he remembers a pool party where you'd been sucking on a lollipop as you watched art work the grill - your mother somewhere inside - you were twelve then - old enough to have some brain cells, patrick figured.

"he'd make a good dad, dont you think?" he'd nudged you. "i mean look at him - already rocking the dad stance with a fucking polo to match. he'll be telling us it looks like a storms rollin' in any second now."

and you'd popped the lolly out of your mouth and showed him your teeth with your smile.

a raised brow. "really? does he know that? does your mother?"

"he already is my dad, though."

you'd frowned. stuck the lolly back in your mouth. he could tell he'd given your brain alot to think about that.

it was only a year later that the divore was finalized. and art was granted full custody of you as his daughter - full guardianship. patrick got him the hell out of that town shortly thereafter.

and that was it, really. that was the plan. just to live in peace. he didn't expect to grow so attached to you. to enjoy watching you grow up. to enjoy being there for your important milestones. he saw a bit of himself in you, too, that wild precociousness. that want to run free. saw how it fucking terrified art, who wanted nothing but the best for you after the life you'd had. always the hero.

so yeah, when you'd started your rebellious teen phase he'd helped you hide it. picked you up from parties when you couldn't drive home instead of calling your dad. because he didn't want to see art unhappy. he didn't want to see art look at you and see the patrick in you and hate it. he couldn't.

he didn't know you'd fall in love with him. he didn't.

and when he realized you had, he'd pushed you away. he had.

but the thing is - as much as you had patrick in you - you had art as well. your inherent kindness. your sweet open face. your determination and dedication. he saw it and then he couldn't unsee it. and as long as he'd held onto his love for art he was tired. he was fucking tired of being unloved and unwanted and here you were - a tether to art - his beautiful babygirl - and you were throwing yourself at him. loving him. wanting him. so fucking beautiful and innocent - just like art had been, all those years ago.

couldn't fault him for caving. he'd faught it, but patricks not a good man. and hes a stray dog at the end of the day, dirty and hungry and begging for scraps.

he fucking devoured you. took from you. took your virginity - just like he did your fathers - broke it on his cock and tried not to feel sick that the symbolic way your blood drenched his cock connected you and him and art in a way that was as holy and it was perverted. he fucked you and he fucked you and he fucked you. he had you whenever and wherever he wanted and he didn't allow himself to think about the consequences of it - because he was fucking greedy for it - you took everything he was and you bit into it and you bounced on his dick like he was a fucking god and he found himself falling in love all over again.

he'd find a way to tell art and make it right. he would.

but then there'd been that night when art asked him out for drinks and patrick would tell something was wrong. he'd been distant from art lately, if he was being honest, consumed completely by you. the only reason he was free was because you were at a friends.

when art had confessed he felt you pulling away the guilt had set in... because art looked so sad. so pathetic and lonely and patrick had never wanted this for art. his heart pitched and dropped in his chest and he couldn't tell art about you - not now -

and then art had looked at him and said "you know she reminds me of you -" and patricks lips had parted. the alcohol in his system warmed his blood, but so did the heavy weight of arts eyes on him. it was a look patrick hadn't seen in years. decades even.

It was how you looked at him.

hungry.

that's all patrick thought as art drew closer and closer to him. fuck, when art placed a hand on his thigh. fuck, when his cock twitched. fuck, when art said he missed those days back in college. fuck, when art leaned in and patrick didn't pull away.

fuck.

fuck again, when he came to and they were back at arts apartment - fuck when they passed your room and thank fuck you weren't home, thank fuck - fuck fuck fuck when art got on his knees and stroked patricks cock and patrick thought his first clear thought of the night -

fuck fuck and fuck again because he lost his mind a little when arts lips touched his. went a little dizzy with it.

fuck fuck fuck - because arts sinful pink mouth descended around him and he fucking moaned around it and in some twisted dark corner of patricks seedy mind he thought art must taste you on him - must know its you hes tasting and thats why he throats him deeper like a fucking whore.

i fucked her this morning. he's about to suck his daughter's pussy off my dick and he doesn't even fucking know -

patrick knows hes going to hell.

he knows it because he uses the same fingers he'd had inside your cunt to spread your dads ass open for the same dick he'd plunged into you - he knows hes going to hell because when he slides inside and art moans he thinks he sounds just as pretty as you do - they take me so fucking well - made for me - fucking made for me

and when he pulls out to come down and swallow arts cock down his own throat he moans when he thinks about kissing you later tonight with your fathers spunk on his tongue -

hes going to hell.

[teaxeee]

Ok let's just say you just birthed a baby with ur husband right so then you start milking, like a lot, who comes into ur mind as to who would be the horniest as a husband in that situation and wants some of the milk straight from the source❓🫢

Hanbin. Literally Hanbin. And there's a few reasons to prove my point.

First of all: He's secretly into lactation. I have a feeling he's secretly into it cause as soon as you allowed him to suck on your tits he'd be in HEAVEN. His lips would be like...suctioned almost to your nipple, just trying to get as much milk as possible while he groans and massages your breast, desperately wanting more to flow out. He'd be so dazed and so into it that you have to push him off as soon as you hear the baby crying, in fear that he might latch his lips onto your other nipple and try to milk you more :(

just imagine: the first time he even discovered he was into lactacing was by being woken up in the middle of the night by you, seeing you being unable to sleep as he asks what was wrong, only for you to tell him that your tits felt sore, he just loved how you said "Binnie...they feel so sore..." So of course, he had to help you. He made you get comfy on your back as he lifted up your shirt, his hands automatically moving to your breasts as he tried to massage the skin, but that only made you whimper and complain about how sore they really felt, even to his touch. His hands gently rubbing and massaging all over your breasts until he touched your nipples, noticing they felt more moist than usual. Realization would soon hit him when he leans down and licks at your nipple, noticing that you've indeed started lactating. HE'D BE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT TOO (and surprised) as he says "Baby, you're lactating..." with that soft and soothing voice UAHSJFRIEUDJ his lips would latch onto your nipple right away as he tries to give you some relief all while trying to satisfy himself (but that only left your nipples covered with his saliva and a bit swollen due to his sucking)

ALSO A CUTE AND FUNNY THING HE'D DO: whenever you breastfeed your baby and he's with you, he's gonna try and argue with the baby, like: "Come on buddy, it's daddy's turn now...need to have mommy's milk supply..." which only makes you laugh HARD that you have to breastfeed him too so he doesn't get jealous over your baby getting breastfed by you. Not to mention...You'd be his personal milk supply (said by himself when he was balls deep inside you trying to get you pregnant </3)

[jhoneybees]

hey! I love ur writing and was wondering if you could do a little one shot with BDE and a reader who’s kind of scared of motorcycles (maybe a family member got into an accident on one or something) and she’s always refused to ride one but Elvis ends up convincing her and she has the time of her life? I think it’d be super cute and funny haha

This idea is so cute! I enjoyed writing this one. Definitely, I can do a little oneshot for you🤭🩷

Freedom

Characters: Mid 70s!Elvis X reader

Warnings/triggers: Mentions of a family member dying, reader calling E daddy, use of Y/n, fear of motorbikes, anxiety, facing a fear

Tags: @atleastpleasetelephone @elvisalltheway101 @i-r-i-n-a-a

_____________________________________________

Ever since your uncle that you loved so much died from that motorbike accident when you were little, you’ve been terrified of motorcycles. The fact that a machine like that can kill such innocent people makes your stomach turn.

And it sure brings you anxiety when Elvis would ride around on his motor toys. He tried many times to get you to come and look at the new motorbikes he would buy every now and then but you wouldn’t budge.

You just can’t bear the memories that might flood back into your mind if you even looked at a motorbike…but knowing you, you absolutely adore Elvis and his excitement when it comes to his new possessions so today you would face the fear.

“You’ll love it, baby, c’mere.” Elvis beams happily, gently pushing on the small of your back as you stand in the front door.

Guiding you onto the concrete driveway with his hand moving to hold yours, squeezing gently.

“I-It’s not too big, right?” You stammer, nervously. Swallowing as he holds both of your shoulders.

“No, it ain’t too big, honey, it’s real pretty.” He smiles.

You nod and just when you turn around to face the thing you’ve been scared of for years, Elvis gives you a peck on the temple. “Promise.”

Your heart skips a beat, the thing is pretty.

Black leather seat and shiny steel everywhere creating something that’s…quite an interesting piece of art.

“What d’ya think?” Elvis asks with a wide smile, walking over to wheel the vehicle more out of the garage.

You step back feeling a bit frightened as he kicks the footstand down.

“It’s…interesting.” You reply, almost in a whisper. Curiously observing the motorbike in front of you.

Elvis chuckles, he sits down on the seat never taking his eyes off of you.

“Would ya want to go for a ride?”

Snapping your wide eyes up to his face, you shake your head immediately. Taking a few more steps back. “No.”

“Oh honey, It’ll be fu-”

“No, I’m not going on that thing.”

He breathes out a laugh, moving to grab your hand but you snatch it away. “C’mon, darling. You know I wouldn’t let anythin’ happen to ya.”

You frown and shake your head again, glaring down at the machine under him. “No, Elvis, I’m not going for a ride.”

“Baby-”

“No.”

“Listen-”

“No.”

“Bab-”

“No-”

“Y/n, listen!”

You cross your arms. Drifting your gaze back up to Elvis’ comforting eyes, seeing him grinning. You sigh through your nose. “I know yer scared of motorcycles…but I promise you’d have a good time if we went fer a ride, baby”

You’re not so sure about that. “I don’t want ta end up like uncle tim-”

“Uncle Timmy, I know sweetheart, I know…you know I always take care of my flower, right?”

“...Yes” You mumble, shyly, as Elvis’ hand goes to pull you closer by the elbow. Leaning in to kiss your arm. “And today wouldn’t be an exception, hm?...What do ya say? Go fer a fun ride with me?” He asks with a sparkle in his eye.

Oh, you’re really not sure about this… a motorbike killed your beloved family member, it went out of control and what if that happens to you!

“El…”

“Think about it, darling…” Elvis tells you, caressing the side of your thigh with his thumb and watching your face.

…But Elvis promises nothing bad’s gonna happen to you.

And you know he means it.

“O-Okay.”

Elvis smirks. “Gonna come with me?”

“...Mhm”

“Oh, brave girl.” He coos, ushering you over to give him a kiss and his arms go around your waist. Peering up at you with a proud smile. “Daddy will go slow, m’kay? We won’t go fast.” He reassures.

You nod hesitantly, closing your eyes briefly as he stands up and pecks your forehead. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

He chuckles. “Good girl, c’mon, I’ll show you how to get on.”

Elvis waited, helped and comforted you as he lifted you onto the motorbike and told you to hold his waist tightly as you both rode out the gates of your Beverly hills home. Steadily going up and down the hill heading towards the main intersection, stopping at a red light. “All good, baby?” He asks, rubbing your hand that’s rested on his stomach.

You hum quietly, shuffling your body to press against his back more. “All good.”

Elvis grins and when the traffic lights turn green, the powerful motorbike roars. Zooming straight onto the other side and squeaking into his shoulder, Elvis starts to laugh as the both of you speed down the road. Cars drive past, honking their horns in delight recognizing who you are riding on the big Harley Davidson.

Your heart beats rapidly in slight fear but as Elvis turns down through another intersection, your eyes light up at the beautiful view of the beach. Seeing little kids and parents play in the distance and couples kissing and cuddling, that uncomfortable feeling soon fades.

You start to smile, growing bigger and bigger as every second goes by.

You’ve always been confused why your uncle Timmy liked to ride his motorbike so much, everytime he would come over to your parents’ house he’d be on his Harley, whenever he would pick you up from school because your parents were out of town he’s harley would be there, taking you out on a little adventure, he’d say “Let’s take the Harley”. You didn’t understand it.

Now…Now you do.

“Go faster!” You yell, gripping Elvis’ leather jacket tighter.

“Faster?!”

“Faster, faster!”

He chuckles. “Alright!”

You look over his shoulder, watching as the speedometer goes higher and higher up in numbers.

40.

50.

60!

70!

Rumbling up and down hills, buzzing through streets and whizzing past oncoming traffic, you’re having the time of your life!

Laughing and screaming and cheering together as you two move onto the motorway, you raise your arms in the air feeling wind blowing through your hair and the orange sunset kissing your face. You feel like you’re running away from your responsibilities and that is the best but what is really the best is that you feel free, free with the love of your life.

“Faster!”

“Hold on tight!”

[forfucksakesniall]

Heyy i love ur writing so much and i got this idea the other day so basically we all know lewis will be such a good dad and so can u do where lewis gets forced by his teen daughter to watch edits of him on tiktok and make him react to it🫶🏻

Change some bits sorry. Hope you still like it! Thanks for the request.

Pairing: Dad!Lewis Hamilton x Reader Trigger Warning/Content Advisory: TOO MUCH FLUFF, Pipes by Christina Aguilera.

"Daddy, can I play, please?" his 7-year-old daughter asked him. "Um... sure, baby," he replied, handing her his phone and letting her do whatever.

She was getting bored from staying in his office all day because mommy couldn’t watch her today, so daddy needed to take her to work with him.

He was on his computer, learning all the data from previous races, and everyone was minding their own business.

For her age, she basically knows how to use it. It's amazing what a kid can learn at such an age.

After a few minutes, she finds the TikTok app and starts scrolling. She suddenly giggles when she sees a video compilation of her daddy laughing like an old man.

Lewis didn’t notice her giggling, thinking it was some cartoon video or whatever.

Then he sees another of her daddy getting caught being himself. She giggles louder than before, which now caught Lewis’ attention. He turns and looks next to her. ”What’s so funny, darling?” he leans closer to see the phone and sees it. ”Daddy is being silly,” she says. He smiles at her and gives her a pinch on the cheek.

”Oh yeah? You think daddy was being silly.”

”Aw!” She pulls away his hand and sticks out her tongue.

He continues watching with his daughter who’s now completely distracted from work. She scrolls down and sees an edit of him from before and after.

“Why is your hair like that?”

”Cuz’ it's an interview I did a long time ago. I haven't grown my hair out yet.”

”Hmmm,” she says with dissatisfaction. ”What? Do you like my hair better now?”

”Well.. yeah,” she says, stating the obvious.

”Since when are you such a sassy pants?” he teases her, tickling her sides.

She giggles and squirms away. ”I’m not!!”

She scrolls again and comes across a thirst trap of him with the song "Pipes" by Christina Aguilera.

He snatches his phone back as fast as he can and turns it off.

”Ummm.. I think it's.. nap time,” he tries to ignore what just happened and not look all flustered. ”Mommy told me about that song, and I told her you were really good.”

”You think so, darling?”

”Yup,” emphasizing the “p.”

“Well, I’m actually writing a song about you.”

”I know..”

”How’d you know that?”

”Because I’m in the next room.”

”Oh, I’m sorry, baby,” he laughs and apologizes for that.

Lewis takes his baby to the other room where the sofa was turned into a bed, where she can take her afternoon nap.

“I’m not sleepy,” she says sleepily while she rubs her eyes and yawns widely.

“Just lay down, baby. How about I sing to you?” he says.

“Okay, daddy,” she lays down and cuddles with her blanky.

After he got her to sleep, he gets to the table and sits at the desk with the computer next to the sofa bed. He was going to send you a message that your baby is finally sleeping. He forgot that he didn't close the TikTok app, and as he opens the phone, the thirst trap was playing, and he watches it.

He didn’t realize he was smiling while watching it and was on the phone for a couple of minutes. You, however, called him and ended his trance.

“Hey, beautiful. What's up?”

”Just wanted to know how you guys are doing. I hope she isn't much of a ruckus there...”He looks at his cute baby sleeping soundly.

”No, No. She’s been really good. She's sleeping right now. Actually, she’s been sleeping for...” he checks the time and realizes he’s been on TikTok for at least 30 minutes. ”Lewis?”

”She’s been asleep for 30 minutes now. Wow.”

”That’s good to know. I’ll see you guys later then. Love you!”

”Love you too, babe.”

He then ends the call and contemplates the situation. There's no way he just watched 30 minutes worth of TikTok edits of himself.

Damn.

[kunimilktea]

This picture of kori in the last post is sending me

She looks so silly dkkskskdkd.

Speaking of kori (also hey I had an mc called cori that's cool!) when do her and cove get together? Is it in the step 2 epilogue with the confession or during the charity confession?

Also unrelated to Kori but what do you mind going more into depth on your thoughts for both Derek and Baxter dlcs? I love discussions around their dlcs I wish people would genuinely talk more about itz going into depth into the themes of the dlcs and how they affect Derek and Baxter as characters, but then again I'm someone who loves analyzing the media they consume so djdkdkjd. General discussions about these things drive me crazy (I think is worth mentioning that I'm autistic so djdkdk)

Your art is also very lovely I loved watching your doodles, you're one of the artists I always look forward to to get a notification from 🫶

THATS ALOT OF QUESTIONS YOU GOT THERE BUDDY,,,,

Im kidding tho it's appreciated nonetheless ^_^

SO FIRST OF ALL THANKS FOR LIKING MY ART 🥹🥹🥹 i try my best to make time for drawing my silly our life doodles despite being busy in college and i appreciate anyone who rlly enjoys my dumb doodles of my ol mc shenanigans

Answering the confession question, they confess at the end of step 3 cause i thought the slowburn was fun 😇

I actually drew their first kiss right here

Now with the derek and baxter dlc question,,,

So fun fact! With how i played the the dlcs over all me and my friend Lo (@/oiulse) would choose which boy to play the dlc and stream it on call, so Lo picked Baxter and i took Derek, it was really funny cause casual constantly played in our heads during the Baxter dlc (bless lo btw for gifting me both dlcs labyu oomf 🫰)

With how i feel with BOTH dlcs

For my boy Derek Suarez

When i played the first moment from dereks dlc my voice started like acting up from how long THAT specific moment was, maybe its just me but the first moment in particular felt really long, I get it though its the first time ur meeting the suarez family and in no way did i NOT enjoy it, but there were indeed moments where im like DAMN ITS STILL NOT OVER cause of how tired my voice was getting LMFAO, all the other moments were rlly fun my favorite one from the dlc was where u hang out with liz on daddy day and there was an option to gift a card to cliff 🥹, his step 4 was also a bunch of fun i loved the family bonding get to do with the suarez brothers (u can just tell that i love family aus) and getting to hang out with derek made me love him more as a chr, HIS STEP 4 VOICE IS STILL A JUMPSCARE TO ME FROM HOW DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT IT IS (no hate to the va btw) STILL VERY FUNNY THOUGH HAHAHA, i made it so that Derek, kori and cove get to be neighbors before the both of them get married so now they hang out LOTS

With THE Baxter FUCKING Alexander Ward

I heard from another friend that the baxter's dlc was gonna be angsty and i was like oh hell fuckin yeah i love angst! AND THERE CERTAINLY WAS ANGST ILL TELL U THAT MUCH, since i was watching lo play through the Baxter dlc i will admit there were a few times where i spaced out cause ANOTHER fun fact, we played the dlcs like really late on my timezone so i was either drawing while Lo was playing or i was in the brink of conking the fuck out, i was able to know what was going on overall i think the ONLY moment i like fully spaced out on was when the mc and baxter were like out drinking or smth and there was this entire thing with the bartender and the singer, that specific scene in particular i was fully focusing on smth else and it wasnt till later that when i played the baxter dlc for myself that i knew what was finally going on, since me and lo have our castaways au to think abt while playing these dlcs we were building aus upon aus of what lo's mc would do when meeting with baxter again after 5 years its fun lo has never been the same since and neither have i, the angst was good soup and i can see why baxter's dlc was more expensive than derek's LMFAO

But ironically enough the dlc that made me cry was DEREKS DLC,,, that moment on the step 4 epilogue with the brothers having a heart to heart is going to be MY ROMAN EMPIRE, I FUCKING LOVE FAMILIES BRO GAUGHHHH

Anyways sorry that was unnecessarily long i could have organized my thoughts more but i dont have the patience for that so i hope u dont mind that all my thoughts and feelings were all over the place hahaha

In conclusion the dlcs was a nice content buffet 👍

[junipers-archive]

omg i am so excited to see that ur requests are open and all your updates🥰 i was wondering if i could request something about having twin girls with aaron but i don't know if that would make u uncomfortable cuz i didn't see the subject of kids/babies on your limits🥺 anyways thank u in advance and i can't wait to keep reading from you because i really like your writing😍

no its totally fine thank you!! And I updated my request guidelines :) also idk if anyone's seen this video before but I though it'd be funny to put Aaron in a similar situation

You and Aaron had only wanted to begin with one, it was safer that way, you'd planned on giving him or her a sibling later down the road but what you didn't expect was twins. Not that you regret it, now you had not one, but two bundles of joy running around your home.

Aaron, to his credit tried his best to set Delilah and Olivia apart but the two were quite literally identical. And having not grown into their personal quirks yet their 4 year old girl minds were hard for him to identify.

As of right now he was chasing them around the living room, trying to settle them down for the dinner you were making in the kitchen.

You had a straight view through the mini window seporator of the room to watch the encounter.

He had just grabbed one of them by the waist lifting her up with airplane noises that were absaloutely adorable coming from his mouth.

"And the airplane goes to land!" He sets one of the twins down on the couch, 'Finding Dory' was on and she became entranced easily.

Well, that was until the other twin he was chasing began being called after, "Delilah! Delilah come on honey it's your favorite movie!"

But to your surprise she didn't turn once, even though the kids loved their dad with ease and listened to him more than they would you at some points.

It's when the other, getting up from her spot on the couch, comes tapping on Aarons thigh that its cleared up.

"Daddy! No!" She points to herself, "Delilah!" then to Aaron, "Daddy!" and then once more repeating her actions, "Delilah!" and back to Aaron "Daddy!"

"Oh I'm so sorry pumpkin!" He grins sweetly down at her, "Thats my bad, go ahead and watch the rest of Finding Dory while I get your sister."

And she does just that as Aaron follows after Olivia who's taken to wandering aimlessly around the living room, dragging her binkie beside her.

You can't help but grin when you find Aaron telling the girls to spell their names once again at the dinner table, just so he doesn't mess up this time.

[sunshines-child]

*spins dramatically in chair* god im so tired. sunny ur children have taken over my prefrontal cortex its not funny anymore.

partner in crime - madilyn mei: screams luc to me thinking of his little dove, but also from theos angsty teen perspective. the song fits them both almost like a back and forth conversation (i might make a post actually this is genius lmao). actually now that i think of it it fits u too lol (it has that vintage circus vibe if u will)

why good people become monsters: video essay of sorts exploring the lucifer effect (nuff said lol), but i recommend reading the comments for more insight and perspective. the art and presentation is slightly unsettling and i love it.

random quotes i from the top of my desktop notes: (long read sorry)

"he had all his mother's vivid imagination and passionate love of beauty. Frost of winter, invitation of spring, dream of summer and glamour of autumn, all meant much to Walter." - rainbow valley, l.m montgomery

-> luc and mercy change my mind (u cant hehe)

He said: “Only God can Judge a monster like that… I just set up the appointment”

-> my boi armund snaps (and snaps someones neck oop-)

“hell is empty, all the devils are here” - the tempest, shakespeare

-> this is definately written somewhere on altis lol

… as John [Lennon] told Rolling Stone magazine in 1970, “When it gets down to it, when you’re drowning, you don’t say, ‘I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,’ you just scream.”

-> theo fighting his demons and losing :') eventually leading to some fall out with daddy dearest.

"It brings me so much joy to watch someone else get staggered by the full range of human degeneracy. We really do be wildin." - a yt comment lol

->i like to think that while both luc and altis kill in cold blood, for titi its another day job or whatever but for luc he thinks a lot about life and death and morality and corruption and thats what leads him to insanity later on.

classic case of living long enough to see urself as the villain but also a favourite trope of mine where people join the dark side for the cookies out of deep empathy for the wronged victims as opposed to say the violence and injustices they themselves may have experienced.

but also post armunds death luc lets all hell loose because how *dare* anyone lay a finger on his beloved boy?! the angst potential my dear is frankly off the charts and i love them all so much it hurts

anyhows this is for fun & i wanted to share some pebbles with ya

i couldnt resist >:D

I have not a single regret taking over your prefrontal cortex. ITS MINE NOW MWAHAHHAHAHAHA Partners in Crime by Madilyn Mei recognition YAYYYYYYY it’s so fit for their characters I’m in tears RAAAAAAAAAAAA Im not changing your mind you’re cooking. “he had all his mother's vivid imagination and passionate love of beauty. Frost of winter, invitation of spring, dream of summer and glamour of autumn, all meant much to Walter." You’re hurting me it’s so fucking beautiful oh my poor heart and soul he is the very bring of his mother, those calloused hands still flying, desperate to cling onto Mercy’s hands, still desperate to cling upon the hands of his mother who rested his head upon her breast. Armund doesn’t exactly ever…snap. His rage is there, and everyone knows it’s there. He’s the only one getting rid of his rage instead of bottling it down. He’s constantly shrouded by rage. “hell is empty the devils are here” is my knew favorite quote. I’m one of the devils LMAO also yes it is very much inked on Altis (probably his hip) Luc and Altis kill like all hell. And you’re very right on what they feel. Altis feels nothing. It’s just another thing he has to do. No rush, no nothing. He’s just… doing it. Luc in the other hand feels everything. Even when it’s someone he is killing more as a task, he’ll feel a rush of everything, all the thoughts, everything. He knows, oh he knows the mortality of everything, including his own soul. (Also he’s constantly bringing the edge of “what if I just died”. It’s. It’s worrying.) Luc. Luc BREAKS when Armund dies. He loves his son, but in the end there’s no tru nurture still left in it. His son turns away from him, and he draws back his hand and cries. And his little angel, his Armind is there, to give him a true taste of joy despite the life all of them live. And what happens to man without joy?

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Chris and I- bringing our Baby home for the first time

18+ just in case ALL FLUFF (slight mention of parent death) bringing baby home from being born choose ur own Chris (its an AU) COMMENTS & REBLOGS APPRECIATED no permission to repost republish or tralnslate.

"Chris why are you driving so slow?" I'm with our baby in the back while he's driving the Audi, (always my favorite car)

"Because"

"Yea but hon it's our private road my baby's gunna turn three before we get to the house."

"Um excuse me its our Baby"

"Sure let's just so with that." I playfully roll my eyes and see Chris pout in the rear view mirror.

"That's not funny you know how long I've wanted a family for."

"I do and I'm sorry." I pause for a few second. "Actually I'm not because you're taking forever and I am in desperate need of a bath and she is going to need to be changed soon and you should get rest. Because I am not letting her cry herself to sleep. A d-"

"You think I'd do that? Hell no."

"Good because I'm not going to be the only one getting up so if you can increase to may at least 10 miles an hour. I'd appreciate it."

"Fine. "

"Dare I even ask for 30?" I flirty teases.

"Don't push it." His lip curls a bit.

My phone dings

"Oooo"

What?

"Scott left us cheesecake in the fridge and your mother will be bringing us dinner! God I love your family."

My tears well up

"I know. I'm sorry hon. I'm sure your mother would've loved to be here but I know she's watching over us. "

"I know I just....."

"Hey it's ok you've got my family and they love you more than me so"

I laugh

"It's gunna be weird without dodger there but I can't wait until he gets to meet his baby sister." I changed the topic in a dime-I know. And I know Chris knows I did that on purpose- it's too painful to talk about right now; especially with emotions all over the place.

"I'm glad everyone understood we wanted some alone time."

"Well it was that or we leave them on a porch to freeze."

"Oh my sweet little one you have no idea how much you're loved." I caress her cheek.

"Oh she knows did you see how much she loved people. Who visited her she drank it up."

"Oh I saw. I'm glad she has a big family who loves her. She's so beautiful."

"Just like her mama."

"Chris."

"What? Its true. She is practically your mini me. Franky I'm thrilled I was terrified."

"Yea gorgeous sexy actor who'd want to look like-"

"You do remember those scene where I had to dress up like a woman."

"Good point I'm still traumatized."

"We all were" he laughs

"Chris did we move at all?"

"Yes I'm getting there. Relax."

"Well she gunna be hungrey I know and you know I know when she is gunna get hungrey."

"And exactly how is that."

"Mommys intuition."

"I want daddy's intuition" he pouted

Oh thats easy see carry the child for 9 months and push them out through-"

"Ok ok I was there I don't need to relive it."

"You asked. We almost there I wanna cuddle. Honey we have plen-"

"Who said you I wanna cuddle with my baby girl."

"Me too."

"Well you know how we solve that?"

"No."

"We all cuddle together. Wait you seriously didn't think of that?"

"Hon I am just focused on the road."

"Chris you realized if you go to 30 miles we would've been there 5 minutes ago. Especially since Mama here is getting Hangrey" I cross my arms.

"Ok good point."

Within 2 minutes were back at home.

Chris and I unlock the carrier I go to get out he tells me to wait. He get the car seat/carrier he puts her down on the porch and we can see her from where we are.

"You left our child alone? I look at him with" widened eyes.

He pauses in mid movement not sure what to do or say

"I'm just kidding we can see her from here but hon I can walk by myself."

"I just want to help."

"Nothing I say will change things will it?"

"Nope."

"Worth a try. Anyway. Alright go. She needs to eat I want to sleep and you are on diper duty."

"Got it."

That was easier than I thought," I thought.

"Mother knows best." He replies

"How the hell do you know what I was thinking."

"Because we are that in sync."

"I had that inadvertent smirk on my face going didnt I?"

"Yes."

Before we bring her in he opens the door and goes inside for a moment. Then he comes back out.

He won't let me bend down to pick up the carrier so he picks her up but he are holding both sides of the carrier as we walk in together. Thankfully he has huge doors.

"Home sweet home baby girl."

We get the tiniest tiniest yawn.

"That was the cutest thing ever awww."

"I got it all on film baby."

"What?"

I put my camera to record this. So I can send it to everyone.

Can you not send it to everyone on your acting friends list, that didn't go over well like anytime but just to our close close friends and family I don't trust everyone and its my baby and I-"

"I know I know calm down mama bear. I already have a baby list and got NDAs."

Ok so he's even more paranoid than me.

There was a moment of silence.

"Chris."

"Yea

"What do we do first with her?"

he pauses

"I dont know."

"She's sleeping I dont want to take her out of her carrier."

"Me either dont wake a sleeping baby. We leave her on the floor and get changed?"

"I guess"

Were besides ourselves but we change and we sit on the floor and just stare at her.

"She's still asleep how is this possible"

"I don't know."

"We must have the most perfect baby ever- look at her sweet little breaths."

We stare at her, intensly for a while longer ok, for a lot while longer. He keeps trying to take his phone out. I put my hands over his. I mean after the 200th photo we can give it a rest and just take it in.

Chris mom, who has a key, had came and knocked with her finger to get our attention

"Why is she still in her carrier?"

"She's still sleeping."

"I dont want to wake her. I know she's gunna be hungrey and you know when she wakes up but I can't I can't help it. She's so."

We don't want to miss anything.

Ok you two how about you get some sleep and let grandma take care of her

Me and Chris both pout

Now go. You two sleep while you can.

Chris helps me up why I don't know. But he does and we crawl into bed and cuddle up and I fall asleep in his arms the next thing I know his mother is gently waking me, telling me she's hungrey.

Our sweet angel is brought in to me and Chris wakes up a second before she's brought into me.. she grabs onto my finger as she feeds.

“I love you” he kissed my temple

“I know.”

He kisses her head and she gives him the dirtiest look.

I let out a huge laugh.

"You're just like mama" he boops her nose which does nothing to dispell her dirty look.

"Mommy doesn't like to be disturbed when she's eating either."

"Ignore daddy" her eyes turn back to me, turning soft, "hes crazy."

"She likes you better."

"Baby im sure its just cause she loves food and I'm her only source. And she doesn't like me better its just baby moods." I don't know if that’s a thing but its worth a shot to comfort Chris.

"I know she loves you too. She made grabbed hands towards you before she fell asleep."

"Really."

"Yea. Right my little angel you love daddy too."

We turn on the TV low and Chris put on C-span.

"One way to get her to sleep. But maybe save c-span for night time. Put on a movie."

"Which one?”

“I don't know."

We finally settle on Disney's Snow White and not soon after she finishes eating and fals right back asleep. I hold her as Chris puts one arm around me and one arm around the baby.

His mother comes in without us realizing and apprently took a few pictures before she told us to say cheese.

"I'm tired"

"Sleep my love."

"We should put her down in her crib first I wanna do it together its the first time." I pout. So I'm exhausted I'm barely able to make it to her nursery but I'm determined for us to do this as a family. We gently placed her in the crib And Chris is apprently a master at hiding camera because he got the whole thing on film. We placed her in her crib and

and back before I'm out like a light. Chris later told me he held me while watching the baby monitor like a hawk until he fell asleep. I mean she's safe and were home and safe. Theres nothing I need more than what I have right now, snuggling into my husband the perfect first time home.

Ok sure she woke up up for feedings (which Chris got up to get her, and diaper changes and swaddling but she's a baby they do that but she's still a perfect baby... our baby... mine and Chris' perfect baby

Tag list

@sapphire-rogers @nana1000night @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja

[just-some-random-blogger]

idc idc here are my reactions to the new trailerssssss via (really long) shitpost RAAHHHHHHHH

*also i took the liberty and tagged some people in some parts lmao*

starting with the black trailer cos duhh i wanna see daemon lmao

starting off strong w caraxes (this is caraxes right?? 😭😭😭) honestly he ate that up. he like me fr. him screaming is how i reacted to his dad 😋

this shot is stunning. looking into the fire. the ominous sounds. (side note the fucking audio dialogue crunch wtf was that editing hbo??? the noise that harshly faded after she spoke ???????? AHHAHAH i can't blame you my audio be like that too)

HAHAHHAAAH HIS LIL SPIN HAS ME GAGGED HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HES SUCH A LIL BOY @azperja UR BOY IS WILDING HAHHAAHAHAH LMAOOOOOOOO

im a simple girl i see daemon i screech @em-writes-stuff-sometimes ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IS THIS CREGAN STARK ASFLJKHASFLKHASFLHASFH👹👹👹👹 NEXT TO BABY GIRL JACAERYS STRONG LOOK AT HIS BABY GIRL LIPS IDK @valeskafics THIS LOOKS LIKE IT CAME OUT ONE OF YOUR FICS?????? AM I ABOUT TO MAKE A JACE FIC????? HELPPPP

gWAYNEEE?????? HIGHTOWER????????????? RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH WITH HIS SLUTTY LIL BUSTED LIP?????????????? why are you in the blacks trailer tho?????????? who did you fuck up??? who fucked you up???????? omG IF YOU AND DADDY DAEMON FIGHT 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦

CUNT-C-CUNT-C-CUNT-CUNT. he is swag. he is emo. he is killing all the aemond girlies. @ewanmitchellcrumbs i have nothing to say to you other than hi how ya doin

and im a very simple girl 😋😋😋😋

i dont like the mourning girls ))): LEAVE MY GIRLS ALONE ☹

i would bend the knee to you daddy REEEEEEEEEEEEEE @em-writes-stuff-sometimes SHOULDER SHOT IN LIEU OF A CROTCH SHOT??????????????????

her dialogue 😫😫😫 ate. as it remains rhaenys is the only one with the braincell in this psycho barbie house and we love her for that

CUNT-C-CUNT-C-CUNT-CUNT. SHE SERVED SO HARD FUCKKKKK

now the green trailer

MY SAD GIRL LEAVE HER ALONE. congrats on having (one of) your oppressor(s) die tho (: it must be mentally tolling ):

[in response to alicent's dialogue] ok but you also knew viserys was delulu to the core????? he did the whole horse analogy to defend rhaenyra which was INSANE. 😔 its kinda sad you believe that in his dying breath he wanted to reconcile with you but even then he didnt give a fuck 💔💔💔💔💔 sorry alicent

ok but .... 👀👀👀👀👀👀 otto lookin kinda scruptious !!! @ewanmitchellcrumbs WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??!?!?! tbh no regrets 😋😋 more food for me

I KNOW I ALREADY REACTED TO THIS BUT HAHAHAHAHA ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY HES SO UNSERIOUS WITH THE TWIRL. AND THE CAPTION IS PERFECT WAHAHAH VISERYS ROLLIN IN HIS GRAVE TO KNOW THIS IDIOT SUCEEDED HIM AND HONESTLY AEGON ATE WITH THAT. THE ULTIMATE REVENGE 😫😫😫 SERVE KING GIVE US NOTHING AND GIVE US CUNT ALL AT ONCE HAHAHHAHA @azperja AHHAH WALA LANG TAG LANG KITA ULIT HAHHAH

@em-writes-stuff-sometimes no but the SHOULDER SHOT IM BEING SO SERIOUS RN ITS SOOO RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hes salty because daemon and him are fighting again 😔💔 ASLKFHASF NO BUT WHY HE LOOK SO MAD???🤨🤨 HAHAHHAHHAH (ok fine fine hes mad because theyre about to go to war. id be mad too)

I DONT KNOW im taking a wild guess here. . . is this alys? ........... ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? idk idk i dont know enough about asoiaf to be guessing tbh

hes so dramatic. arent you the same man that begged your younger brother to let you flee and be rid of this burden? smh. had the crowds screaming your name once and now you think ur a rockstar. its ok ur @azperja's rockstar 😋

this line has me gagged 😭😭🤣🤣 GO KING. GO FUCK UP YOUR FAM AND THE REST OF THE SEVEN REALMS AS CASUALTY. i cant take him seriously. i cant 💀💀💀 YOURE THE GUY THAT JERKED OFF BY THE WINDOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CRYINGGGGGGGGGGG and the fact this scene is directly followed by him showcasing his mommy issues 😔 poor pathetic meowmeow

STOPPP 💀💀💀💀✋✋✋✋✋ I CANT TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY EITHER. HE SAW DAEMON CHOP UP VAEMONDS HEAD AND HAS BEEN HORNY EVER SINCE.

oh wait fuck i forgot he killed lucerys 💀💀💀💀💀😬😬😬😬 asfhlashfhsafhasf wAIT HE KNOWS DAEMON IS COMING FOR HIM WAIT LASFHHASFHASFFASOHASF WAITTT IT JUST CLICKED HES SCARED FUCK FUCK FUCK

hes so fucking hot what the fuck @ewanmitchellcrumbs i get why you dedicated an entire blog for this man. felt. BUT WHY WAR? LEMME BRAID UR HAIR INSTEAD???????? STOBIT

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 STOP HURTING ALICENT WHAT THE FUCK STOP IT

IDK WHO SHE IS BUT SHE ATE. IS THAT A STAG I SEE ARE YOU A BARATHEON SLAYYYYYYY..... is she a she or is he a he i... i cant tell. either way v pretty v intrigued

?????????????????????????? WHY HE LOOK YASSIFIED IN THIS 💀💀💀 sOBBING

i HATE the fact they cut his hair. cole is now 10x more unbearable what the fuck. JUSTICE FOR FABIEN he had such pretty hair

❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ men that crave war are the scabs of society

HONESTLY HOW IS VHAGAR (this is vhagar right????) NOT RIPPING HER WINGS MORE WHEN SHE FLIES?????? THE HOLESSSSS ARE INSANEEEEEE

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 women

both of these trailers ending with their support for their preferred monarch is such a slay detail to add. THEY SHOULD RELEASE THE SHOW SOONER

[liyahwild]

STOP BEING A PISSBABY CHALLENGE GO!

hey public announcement to the fucktarts of tumblr who are transphobic (terf included u dipshits) homphobic or antikin:

need i remind you what fucking platform you are on, you imbeciles?

tumblr. you will find more cringe on here than you will find anything. before you were here making fun of expressive minors or fulfilled self assured adults there were SO much cringe content on here and there still is.

stop projecting your insecurities onto people who youre jealous of because theyre happy with themselves & ur never sure if youll ever be and masking it as them being weird.

because trust me theyre not weird for knowing and loving themselves.

do they not fit your box of what a person is? of what gender is? what affection is?

life is what you make of it. gender is made up - YOUR gender is what YOU say it is, youre getting that confused with sex (which is also debatable and ambiguous in EVERY single case, dumbass). boohoo, a man kissed a man. im sure ur daddy did the same in his day.

youll never be fucking happy with yourself if you cant learn to shut the fuck up about other peoples lives.

no one is tryna 'turn u to their side', change ur mind, or end the world with their super sonic mega blast gay tranny fur rainbow sparkle beams, they live normal lives like you do. you pass by people like this all the time in public (if u even go out), your family or your friends (if u even have any) may be like this, your teachers or classmates.

whatre you gonna do? kick yo granny in her neck cuz she was born with a penis? punch your teacher because he has a husband? set fire to the grocery store janitor because you suspect theyre a furry? throw hands with a barista because they wear a 'They/Them' pin?

they know themselves more than you ever will right now.

stop reblogging and commenting under obvsiouly queer peoples posts, bullying and harassing them, calling them cringe, and posting them on reddit. keep doing this bullshit, lemme see it, and ill do the same thing to you. dedicate a WHOLE blog to you fuckshits because you just dont understand how much of a complete ASS youre making of yourselves. im sick of your restless coping-via-bullying bullshit it is honestly disgusting and nobody but a couple of unhappy nobodies find your incompetence funny.

Hate is ugly, cringe is cute, and queer is cool

my trannies, furries/kin, and homos (all terms i can reclaim i swear lmfao) are the coolest people ik. they dont bother u, u dont bother them, wanna strike up a convo with them? 99.9% of the time theyre chill as all get around and even share your interests.

stop being an insolent worm. you dont like queers? on a queer platform? go back to reddit and tiktok you assfaced moron go back to the shitty hole whence you crawled from (the attic) 😐

love u :)

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

i LOOOVE the concept of la squadra hanging out with trish, whether they got to her before bucci gang or not, i think they help protect her from the boss and plot to take him down together so everyone wins and she gets lots of dads/uncles/big brothers like she deserves

so here's how trish spends time with la squadra!!!

risotto honestly feels awkward cause he doesn't know the first thing about teenage girls, but he's pretty good at maintaining his demeanor so trish can't tell at first. she's figures it out tho and she thinks it's kind of funny. he's always honest with her about shit which she appreciates. he acknowledges the loss of her mother and offers his understanding; he doesn't tell her all about his cousin, at least not right away, but he gets across that he's dealt with grief at her age too and it honestly helps her a lot that there's someone who gets what she's going through. she comes to trust him a lot and it tickles his heart!!!!! he may not know what he's doing but he knows thats HIS daughter now thank u

prosciutto is always barking at everyone to behave because he will not tolerate their usual rowdiness and dumbassery with trish around. he's stern but doesn't act like he can boss her around, polite and gives her space. his nurturing instincts kick in so she finds that he's often the one checking in on her and encouraging her to eat. have u brushed ur teeth? u hydrated? he might fuss more if he thought it might help her but her distant attitude gives him the sense that a hands-off approach might be better. she appreciates the care while acknowledging her independence.

pesci is just nervous cause he's a nervous guy but trish is also intimidating in her own way. he has no idea what to do cause not only does he also not know shit about teenage girls, but he's always been the youngest so he's fumbling with not being in that position anymore. is always offering things like '.... you want my snack?' he's trying. she thinks he's kind of a dork. he has his own daddy issues tho so trish is surprised when pesci becomes very defensive and protective in his own right cause he understands the feeling of being unwanted and it sucks. he doesn't want her to feel that way. she warms up to him a lot more then.

formaggio often just makes her scoff or roll her eyes or look in that way that u kno she's judging u cause he's a rowdy man. he takes it in stride tho and laughs it off which improves her opinion. because she's pretty closed off at first he might try to find ways to make her laugh, especially cause she's going through some shit y'know. he considers it a victory when she cracks a smile. she warms up to his dumbassery and laughs more often. she's pleasantly surprised when he takes her seriously cause he knows what it's like to be underestimated. he picks up on her speech patterns and will often also tell everyone 'get it girl'

illuso and trish are honestly like two peas in a pod. they immediately click because they have the same attitude, and similar tastes to boot (her, illuso, and melone end up bonding over music). she likes that illuso won't be overbearing and he's a bitch on her level. they bond over vogue and he promises to do her nails when they're out of this mess. if one of the other squadmates teases them about it he'll immediately be like ARE YOU INVALIDATING OUR GIRL'S INTERESTS. DO U THINK U CAN DISRESPECT HER HUH. he fondly calls her girlie, she calls him lulu. the squad starts referring to them as long lost siblings cause they have the same expressions.

melone is polite, patient, and shows his concern in subtle ways so as not to overwhelm her. trish likes being around him cause he levels with her and he's pretty chill, which is a conscious effort on his part to offer her normalcy and security; he knows shit abt developmental psychology and a chaotic environment in the wake of losing a parent is just awful for a kid. he checks in on her feelings and allows her to talk about whatever she wants at her own pace, and she needs time, but she might eventually open up about stuff like her grief, and the feelings of helplessness and guilt that others are getting hurt protecting her. when spice girl manifests, melone is the first to catch on that she represents trish's adaptability and confidence in taking charge of her fate, and he tells her he's very proud of her, which makes her smile!!!!

ghiaccio is, you guessed it! awkward cause he doesn't know a thing about teenage girls. but the difference with him is he's brash and gets frustrated by his awkwardness; trish just kind of tunes him out as another clown in the circus she got stuck with. they kind of just avoid each other at first. the first attempt at an icebreaker (lol) is ghiaccio offering her like a pastry or smth and being like 'sorry your dad is trying to kill you.' '...... thanks?' this man does not know how to be normal. eventually they bond over their shared love of cats and purim. she thinks it's funny when he yells at people on her behalf.

sorbet and gelato being middle aged gay men already act sort of dadly to the younger gays of the squad so they are THRILLED to dote on this little lesbian, they LOVE this girl and she is insta-adopted, and trish actually does not mind at all because she simultaneously thinks they're cool, fun, affectionate, hilarious to see in action, and occasionally endearingly cringe. they constantly applaud trish's sass and audacity. sorbet is really fucking funny in a deadpan way and it gets her smiling even at first when she's more closed off, and she finds gelato's antics entertaining. they're both extremely impressed with how confidently she pulls a switchblade and will offer to help her hone her knife skills; she becomes absolutely lethal under their care. but their outpouring of love also encourages her softer and more caring side, which neither want her to lose. they're very proud of her for still being sweet even when she has every right to be jaded.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

my dearest darlingest marina i need you to know you have broken me quite thoroughly and i might never ever forgive you for it as long as we both shall live ! ❣️

to clarify- ive been saving "let's fall out of love" to read later ever since you posted it cuz i didn't feel ready- didn't think i was emotionally stable enough to read it then. well, tonight ive been clearing out my list of unread fics from last year aND GODDAMN WAS I EVER RIGHT ABOUT THAT.!!!

started getting all weepy and shaky before that first courthouse bathroom conversation and i didn't ever stop 😭 sobbed so hard and for so long at the unfairness of it all (for both of them !) i gave myself an asthma attack and had to stop reading.. what really broke me was e's bittersweet and somewhat detached realization on the courthouse steps that all their kids had flocked to laney during the divorce. couldn't stop thinking abt how badly i would've wanted to tell jesse off for being sharp to his daddy, and the knowledge that elaine COULDN'T, that it wasn't quite over yet and she still had to save face for a bit longer despite how much it killed them both, despite being the only person who could truly understand just how deep elvis was hurting right then and having been the one who'd made a whole life out of loving him hard.......... the idea of him resigning himself to having lost that forever (false) and her having to go against everything in her nature to let him ache a while longer,, oh it just shattered my spirit to bits right then and there. oh god im gonna start crying again just thinking about how lonely they both made each other 💔💔💔

im literally inconsolable, even with the reasoning behind it/ knowing how it ends beforehand, and having those future timeline fics to fall back on did nOT SAVE ME like . dear GOD woman how is that even possible?!?? if i had any shred of humanity left in my body id wax poetic for three more paragraphs abt how that speaks to your truly absolutely outstanding talent as an author and worldbuilder, but alas i think i cried out everything that was keeping me sane sometime in the last half hour and now i have to go lie facedown on the floor in my hallway and die abt it all instead 👍 fantastic work as always i love all your work so much forever etc etc 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

ps: it took me the better part of an hour to type all this out since ive lost the water content of approxinately a small ocean w my tears and am doing physically poorly in response 🫠🫠 so thanks for ur patience in this trying time 😔🙏

I spun around in circles upon reading this like my poor coon dog when she had a stroke -jovially of course. Like this is the stuff every writer dreams of getting for feedback but holy smokes, your talent for screaming? Beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve always told you how much I appreciate your time and enthusiasm to tell your thoughts Mary Hope, and now is no exception. My babe and co-author @elvisabutler deserves the pleasure of reading what we’ve wrought, as well. I’ll be halving all your medical and psychiatric expenses with her. 😏

Tbh, despite knowing both imminent and longterm reconciliation was to happen after this segment, we were just as cut up about tearing them apart as you were to read it. In fact, it was worse than all the lead up fics where the passive aggressive accumulation of grievances came across as hurts but ultimately only aggravations. This is just…PAIN. Funny how what was untenable before a tragedy suddenly appears to have been idyllic after it. Anyways.

Thank you for reading, here’s some Kleenex, albuterol and do know the sequel to this divorce is in drafts, so not finished AT ALL but it is in the works.

Not that it’ll hurt much less than this one. 😈