lasquadrasfuckhouse

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

la squadra as 'babe im at the hospital' texts 🏥

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

i love sorlato because they're so stabby and chaotic and yet so wholesome and full of love. like they're the two most insane people you've ever met but sit down and have a conversation with them and realize they have incredible emotional intelligence and they're great at talking about their feelings and problem solving and are actually really nice when they want to be, like i think they both have incredible clarity, they just choose chaos. if you're genuinely distressed about something they will help you. they can tell when someone needs good advice or funny advice. and sometimes they still give the funny advice but that's okay. they're like the demolition lovers with less angst and even more homoeroticism

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

roommate said sorbet and gelato are like fucked up evil bert and ernie and i don't think i'll ever recover

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

loving ghiaccio on this day so here's some headcanons

he's probably a coffee snob. don't let him drink it on an empty stomach tho cause he'll get the jitters

if u bring him to a ballet on a date he will love u forever

blind as a bat without his glasses. don't make velma scooby doo jokes at him he hates it

sleeps with a mouth guard to keep him from grinding his teeth

he doesn't often paint his nails cause he doesn't rly like the feeling of stuff on his nails + he chips it way too easily, but if he does he goes for blue

his parents are actually nice and average middle class people they just so happened to raise a grumpy cat for a son. part of why ghiaccio is Like That is cause they encouraged him to speak his mind

he's also an only child and you can tell

he speedwalks everywhere and you can hear him coming from a mile away cause his feet go SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP

please give this man a scalp massage and a good asmr channel and lovingly tell him to chill the fuck out

nerd

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

need more pillar men content and i guess i gotta DO EVERYTHING MYSELF AROUND HERE!!!!!

ok here's how they'd cuddle ☺️

kars isn't typically very physically affectionate but when he does cuddle he is gentle and makes his partner feel secure

esidisi is definitely cuddly and he has GREAT cuddles because he's so nice n warm and does cute things like give cheek kisses

wamuu is average in the amount that he cuddles but his cuddles feel so protective and loving, feels at peace holding his partner

santana is CONSTANTLY cuddly. he is wrapped around his partner like a cat or hanging off with his feet dragging behind. ultimate snugglebug.

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

i LOOOVE the concept of la squadra hanging out with trish, whether they got to her before bucci gang or not, i think they help protect her from the boss and plot to take him down together so everyone wins and she gets lots of dads/uncles/big brothers like she deserves

so here's how trish spends time with la squadra!!!

risotto honestly feels awkward cause he doesn't know the first thing about teenage girls, but he's pretty good at maintaining his demeanor so trish can't tell at first. she's figures it out tho and she thinks it's kind of funny. he's always honest with her about shit which she appreciates. he acknowledges the loss of her mother and offers his understanding; he doesn't tell her all about his cousin, at least not right away, but he gets across that he's dealt with grief at her age too and it honestly helps her a lot that there's someone who gets what she's going through. she comes to trust him a lot and it tickles his heart!!!!! he may not know what he's doing but he knows thats HIS daughter now thank u

prosciutto is always barking at everyone to behave because he will not tolerate their usual rowdiness and dumbassery with trish around. he's stern but doesn't act like he can boss her around, polite and gives her space. his nurturing instincts kick in so she finds that he's often the one checking in on her and encouraging her to eat. have u brushed ur teeth? u hydrated? he might fuss more if he thought it might help her but her distant attitude gives him the sense that a hands-off approach might be better. she appreciates the care while acknowledging her independence.

pesci is just nervous cause he's a nervous guy but trish is also intimidating in her own way. he has no idea what to do cause not only does he also not know shit about teenage girls, but he's always been the youngest so he's fumbling with not being in that position anymore. is always offering things like '.... you want my snack?' he's trying. she thinks he's kind of a dork. he has his own daddy issues tho so trish is surprised when pesci becomes very defensive and protective in his own right cause he understands the feeling of being unwanted and it sucks. he doesn't want her to feel that way. she warms up to him a lot more then.

formaggio often just makes her scoff or roll her eyes or look in that way that u kno she's judging u cause he's a rowdy man. he takes it in stride tho and laughs it off which improves her opinion. because she's pretty closed off at first he might try to find ways to make her laugh, especially cause she's going through some shit y'know. he considers it a victory when she cracks a smile. she warms up to his dumbassery and laughs more often. she's pleasantly surprised when he takes her seriously cause he knows what it's like to be underestimated. he picks up on her speech patterns and will often also tell everyone 'get it girl'

illuso and trish are honestly like two peas in a pod. they immediately click because they have the same attitude, and similar tastes to boot (her, illuso, and melone end up bonding over music). she likes that illuso won't be overbearing and he's a bitch on her level. they bond over vogue and he promises to do her nails when they're out of this mess. if one of the other squadmates teases them about it he'll immediately be like ARE YOU INVALIDATING OUR GIRL'S INTERESTS. DO U THINK U CAN DISRESPECT HER HUH. he fondly calls her girlie, she calls him lulu. the squad starts referring to them as long lost siblings cause they have the same expressions.

melone is polite, patient, and shows his concern in subtle ways so as not to overwhelm her. trish likes being around him cause he levels with her and he's pretty chill, which is a conscious effort on his part to offer her normalcy and security; he knows shit abt developmental psychology and a chaotic environment in the wake of losing a parent is just awful for a kid. he checks in on her feelings and allows her to talk about whatever she wants at her own pace, and she needs time, but she might eventually open up about stuff like her grief, and the feelings of helplessness and guilt that others are getting hurt protecting her. when spice girl manifests, melone is the first to catch on that she represents trish's adaptability and confidence in taking charge of her fate, and he tells her he's very proud of her, which makes her smile!!!!

ghiaccio is, you guessed it! awkward cause he doesn't know a thing about teenage girls. but the difference with him is he's brash and gets frustrated by his awkwardness; trish just kind of tunes him out as another clown in the circus she got stuck with. they kind of just avoid each other at first. the first attempt at an icebreaker (lol) is ghiaccio offering her like a pastry or smth and being like 'sorry your dad is trying to kill you.' '...... thanks?' this man does not know how to be normal. eventually they bond over their shared love of cats and purim. she thinks it's funny when he yells at people on her behalf.

sorbet and gelato being middle aged gay men already act sort of dadly to the younger gays of the squad so they are THRILLED to dote on this little lesbian, they LOVE this girl and she is insta-adopted, and trish actually does not mind at all because she simultaneously thinks they're cool, fun, affectionate, hilarious to see in action, and occasionally endearingly cringe. they constantly applaud trish's sass and audacity. sorbet is really fucking funny in a deadpan way and it gets her smiling even at first when she's more closed off, and she finds gelato's antics entertaining. they're both extremely impressed with how confidently she pulls a switchblade and will offer to help her hone her knife skills; she becomes absolutely lethal under their care. but their outpouring of love also encourages her softer and more caring side, which neither want her to lose. they're very proud of her for still being sweet even when she has every right to be jaded.

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

[royal blood she's creepin voice] THEYRE CREEPIN...... [DANANANANANA] INTO THEIR OLD BLOG........... [DANANANANANA]

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

jumpscares everyone including myself to say i love risotto a lot ok thank u

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Happy one year friend!!! Do you have any like, modern AU headcanons for the dudes? Like what jobs they’d have, where they’d live, technology, relationships, stuff like that?

YAAAAA I LOVE MODERN AUs WHERE EVERYONE CAN JUST HANG OUT

ok picture this: they're a bunch of assholes who are neighbours in the same shitty apartment complex and they all collectively hate their cheapskate landlord (diavolo) who never fixes anything

sorlato have lived there the longest and they're great neighbours as long as you ignore the bumps in the night that's usually them doing god knows what. no one knows what they get up to or really what they do for a living but everyone figures (hopes) it's only Slightly illegal. very much Older Gays who make sure all the other little gays are fed and in exchange they might ask for help with their newfangled smartphones

risotto's lived there second longest, quiet and intimidating as hell but polite if you say hi while crossing paths at the mailboxes. he's a piercer and tattoo artist and once his buddies find out where his parlor is he never knows peace again because someone is always dropping by to gossip or bother him between appointments but sometimes they'll bring a snack. occasionally will feel his metal music vibrating through the paper thin walls but only in the middle of the day when he figures everyone is out or won't be bothered.

illuso is an influencer and one a those fashion and beauty ppl that are big on insta and youtube and ghiaccio is a part time twitch streamer so they collab sometimes and melone helps with tech stuff lol. sometimes illuso will post outtakes of the three of them being stupid, or him and melone being stupid and ghiaccio is screaming about it offscreen

but melone is some STEM guy in grad school and ghiaccio is working towards going pro in figure skating, he posts videos of skating or ballet choreography sometimes and people go wild for it. mel also still has his motorcycle that ghiaccio and prosciutto bond over hating because it's so damn noisy and they are grumpy old men

ghiaccio also has a bunny (white album) even tho their complex probably doesn't allow pets but diavolo can kiss his ass. formaggio also has his kitty (little feet) that u can see him taking for walks on his lil kitty harness. formaggio is a great neighbour and probably just leaves his door unlocked while he's home so his buddies can waltz in whenever to hang out. sometimes if risotto's had a rough day he'll wordlessly walk in and press his face against little feet's soft tummy (the cat likes him more than it likes formaggio) and formaggio is just like yep i get u buddy

they have a gc that sorlato and risotto barely know how to work. any typo in the gc incidents are swift and brutal in their response.

their building is also probably no smoking but sorlato are still like hey besties who wants to come over and hotbox the place with us :) just don't look under the sink ok ❤️💕

that's all i got so far but they're just neighbourly pals who hate their landlord

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Uhhhhh size kink headcannons for s/o and Formaggio ? 🫣

!!not safe fw!!

ok here's the thing. yes yes formaggio will shrink down his s/o with permission so he can feel huge inside them

but he also does it to HIMSELF and he is ABSOLUTELY turning himself into a size queen because of it

like, hell fuckin yeah, he loooves to get to feel big n strong, be able to manhandle his babe easily if they're into that, and if his s/o whines about how full they feel that REALLY gets him goin

(and it strokes his ego lol)

but he'd also love the same treatment. like, get him on his hands and knees and fuck him slow and deep so he feels every inch

he's a man of many tastes!!!!!

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Happy One Year dude!!! I remember you mentioned Formaggio loves to watch bad movies, so could we get some headcanons about doing that with him as a partner? Maybe you and him try to get everyone else to watch a notoriously bad movie like The Room? I’m also a bad movie connoisseur so it resonated with me 😊

THANK U AND HELL YES

ok listen you netflix and chill but it's actual chillin because whatever you pick is too genuinely entertaining and y'all are constantly laughing your asses off

you take turns picking movies and it becomes a bit of a game to try and one up each other on what kind of shitshow of a film you can pull from the depths

you'll often have moments wondering together like, did they make it like That on purpose? did they know what they were doing? there's NO way this really got past editing, right?

the two of you will also have deep discussions on what makes a movie so bad it's good vs just bad. like, what is it about another generic rendition of the hollywood formula that just makes a movie Bad bad as opposed to a plot that makes no sense with the worst CGI you've ever seen that makes it Good bad? it's about individual perception of what's entertaining

then you're both like aw hell it's not that deep and go back to just giggling

you definitely have inside jokes where one of you will mention a line from some terrible movie and the other just loses their mind and all ur pals are like 🤨

i can't say im familiar with the room BUT the two of you trying to get the others to watch a notoriously bad movie with you will be absolute fucking chaos, which i can only assume is the goal for you and your little shit disturber of a bf

you'll be lucky if it doesn't end with ghiaccio smashing the tv and risotto taking from ur next paychecks to replace it but the mayhem might have just been entertaining enough to be considered worth it so 😂

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

hello hello hello, happy one year my dear!! kind of a strange question but I was curious: even if we got little actual content for LS, most of us kind of fill in the gaps and establish personalities and backstories and such with headcanons. you do that very well ofc, but I was wondering if there was anything about any of these guys that we do actually have in canon that you’d prefer to ignore/rewrite/diverge from?

complete overhaul of babyface for obvious reasons

'we'll be kings with all that drug money!!!' no ❤️ peddling highly addictive drugs isn't cool i imagine passione switches to extortion of big corporations for its primary source of income which is not only morally okay but encouraged (for legal reasons this is a joke)

formaggio doesn't fucking STILL FACE OFF NARANCIA ONCE HE BLOWS UP THE STREET WHEN ITS OBVIOUS HE'LL JUST DIE??? uses that as a cover to make narancia THINK he died in the explosions, escape with the map to the safehouse, gets medical attention, the squad manages to nab trish while giorno fugo and abbacchio are in pompeii. they apologize to trish for the kidnapping but inform her that her father is likely trying to kill her and they can help each other. so the miscommunication as a plot device doesn't drag on infuriatingly long and make things 10x more complicated for everyone involved cause yada yada la squadra and bucci gang agree to team up against diavolo cause the enemy of my enemy is my friend

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

happy one year!! could i request some hc for melone with a reader who’s also really into biology and genetics? any pronouns are fine :3

thank u!!! ☺️❤️ yes absolutely!!!!

probably starts with something that only biology nerds would freak out about, like one of you is going on about how no one knows how to classify mushrooms because fungi are so fucking weird and the other is like NO IKR WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH FUNGI THEY ARENT PLANTS AND ARENT ANIMALS???

and then it was like, you lock eyes. and in that moment you knew Something was There

there are often very long, very excited discussions about how incredible the human body is that ends hours later with the two of you staring at the wall together in awe of nature

the two of you make a game of hypothesizing what the other 90% of the brain is for

a fun date involves attending a genetics lecture at the local university and then talking about it over dinner, or alternatively going to the library and sitting in a corner reading together and quietly pointing out cool things in the books you're reading

or going to other biology-focused educational places like a bug zoo, aquarium, or botanical garden

one of you may shake the other awake like BABE WAKE UP RESEARCHERS FOUND A VACCINE FOR SUCH-AND-SUCH and the other will shoot up like OMG REALLY and you'll be reading academic journals about it together and absolutely buzzing even tho it's like, 4 AM

absolute fuckin geeks together. it's adorable

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 250 FOLLOWERS!!! I LOVE Y'ALL!!!!!

EXTREMELY excited to drop this project i've been working on as a gift, it's been SUPER fun

playlists of la squadra's fave songs 🎸

i started with their stands and then worked from there (except for sorlato who i based off vibes only lol)

metal and hard rock, some goth influences. the heavier and deeper the better. if he can't feel the bass vibrating in his ribs when he blasts it, then what, pray tell, is the point!!!!!

psychedelic rock is his forever love, but he also really loves hard rock, blues, and soul. he loves bass, psychedelic guitar, and unique, powerful vocals. his taste in rock may occasionally dip into something a bit folksy as long as it has a harder or darker sound.

surf rock, pop, hip-hop. he likes things that have a lighter, more cheerful or really boppin sound, and anything that utilizes surf guitar or that sort of frequency and technique. good vibes only!!!!!

soft rock, blues rock, some grunge and punk, americana. some things that just have that ooh like, lil bit of rough around the edges quality to them, but some soft chill stuff too.

pop, r&b, disco, some rock and hip-hop. he has rather varied tastes in sounds to a certain degree: both lighter and darker sounds, mostly in the pop sphere, and softer or more sensual stuff. he really likes strings like violin and cello, likes how it can be sharp but lilting and graceful.

r&b, pop, hip-hop. really loves smooth and sensual sounds (bedroom pop lol), but loves a lot of fun sounds too and some experimental stuff that lies within those spheres!!!!

early rock n roll, rockabilly, glam rock, pop, some jazz and things with that brassy jazz sort of sound. likes very dramatic vocals/sounds and things that make him want to run very fast, he listens to a lot of music while he works out.

man, even i don't know what the fuck this is. they listen to everything. literally anything as long as it has energy, from cabaret to metal. they like unique vocals (whether that's warbling or just straight up fucking screaming) and quirky or experimental sounds, but they love a lot of old classics too. if it slaps and it sounds weird, they're into it.

I HOPE Y'ALL HAVE FUN WITH THESE CAUSE I SURE DID!!!!! THANK U ALL AGAIN!!!!!

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

ITS OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉❤️❤️❤️

thank you all SO much for the love you send and for having fun with me on this blog, i've been having a blast on here and it makes me SO happy that i can be a blog people come back to read and making people's day a little better!!!!

i have two things for all of you: first, i updated the playlists of la squadra's faves with a couple new songs each cause it was really fun lol

second:

requests are once again OPEN!

however, i'll probably stick to my shorter point form answers instead of my longer ones or actual fic lol so just be aware that the essay-length answers will only happen if i get the inspiration for it 🤷 but GO NUTS!!!! i'm so excited to see what y'all have for me!!!!!

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

hi dear!! I’m the anon that sent sexuality hc’s for the ask game you did recently, and I’m just dropping by to see how you’re doing!! hope your summer’s been okay!! :)

U ARE SO SWEET!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕 tysm beloved my summer has been pretty poppin honestly!!!! it's very sweet that ppl are still thinking abt little ol me in my absence on this blog 🥺❤️ been doin some work and fun stuff irl plus lots of creative projects but most of my writing time has gone towards things other than hcs/imagines/reader inserts so i haven't been posting here lol. but im warming up my gay little hands for the first year anniversary on here >:) i love u anon!!!!! mwah mwah mwah

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

[arctic monkeys voice] crawlin back to you ........