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gdn019283 · 10 hours

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Although I like the character, I dislike Morgana’s choices so, so much.

They don’t make sense to begin with and they show she is just a noble who craves power all for herself.

She is the first one to stand against Uther in everything; the first to ask for Gwen’s opinion or defend her, both when she is accused of practicing magic and when her father dies.

And suddenly, as soon as Morgana comes back, she hates Gwen’s guts and she is ready to execute her? The woman she was ready to get hurt for when they had been kidnapped? The same Morgana who begged Arthur to rescue her?

Oh, and talking about Arthur.

This man loves Morgana. She is his sister, for god’s sake.

Arthur’s the first one to take her defence in everything. Morgana’s the first one, even before Merlin came, who shows Arthur that he can talk back to Uther, that he can show to those he cares about the most that he loves them, that he can defend innocent people and go against the kingdom’s tyranny, if a child’s life is at stake.

Whenever Uther threatens Morgana, Arthur defends her, speaks for her, vouches for her.

When Arthur finally finds her, he’s so relieved.

He’s happy that she is alive, to the point the relationship with her changes drastically:

Arthur never once picks on her anymore, as much as he used to; he hugs her constantly; he tells her, “I’m glad you’re here”, when Uther is sick because of her (which, good, maybe that’s the only thing she did right. Get her revenge on Uther); in the deleted scene of, “The Eye of the Phoenix”, we’re shown Morgana giving the bracelet to Arthur, and she pleads him to wear it, because she is scared for him and his life, when in reality she just wants to kill him, and yet, what it is that Arthur does? He doesn’t even make fun of her. He smiles fondly, he accepts the gift, wears it from that moment on, and he gets up to hug her.

If anything, the most Arthur could have done, was to act afraid at first, but he wouldn’t have done anything practically, because she is Morgana, and when Arthur finds out she is his sister, that she has magic, he doesn’t bat an eye.

Not in all those years, had Arthur ever blamed her magic, just her choices.

And we see it.

“I thought we were friends.” He really believes it and he never has the chance to make it up to her.

“I could’ve saved her.”

How many choices did Arthur have to kill her? All those times she ran away, how easy could it have been to run after her and kill her? Arthur simply didn’t want to.

When he finds out about the fact that she has been tortured, he hurts. He almost deflects and doesn’t want the peace treaty anymore. He sees Gwen crying and leave the table and even if she is enchanted, Arthur thinks she means the tears, because he himself wanted to cry, because he cares about Morgana and hates himself and blames himself for what she has become.

That’s why I can’t bring myself to truly like Morgana, after her only goal is to overthrow Arthur.

But Arthur loves her.

Arthur is a man who’s ready to abandon his duty and his reign and his throne for those he loves, something that Morgana would have never done.

Arthur was ready to fix his mistakes, and Morgana only cared about the throne.

#sometimes i believe it would have taken arthur just a small proof that magic could have been good #and he would have started to amend his mistakes #because that’s what i think the character is like #arthur is just vulnerable and therefore more prone to manipulation #by everyone #and why wouldn’t he believe those he loves #right?#so he aches more when they betray him #he just wanted a family #i’m glad gwen and merlin gave him one #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc

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the-s1lly-corner · 18 hours

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If it's alright, could I request a Toby, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, and Jane the Killer x reader (separately), where the reader has no self preservation? Not in a sad way, but more in a "cheerfully confident that they can handle it" kinda way.

Either way, I hope you have a good day!

Crps x overly confident!reader w/ no survival instinct

Points

JANE REQUEST SPOTTED!! Feels like hardly anyone asks for her!!

Side note I could NOT find a good gif LMAO

Characters: Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman, Jane the Killer

Notes: reader is GN, reader is not suicidal in any way they just think they're built different, reader is written as a human

CWs: injury and blood mentions, canon typical violence and death

SLENDERMAN

hes seen humans die to less, hes not going to let you follow that path... why would have to do any of this when hes right here to do the dirty work for you without complaint? he simply doesnt get it

but still, if he knows you will survive he will let you go- as foolish as he may think you are for throwing yourself into a fight or disaster- he will never fully understand humans so surely you must have a reason for this? stops this when it just leads to you getting hurt over and over, it slowly becomes clear that youre doing it because youre cocky. you truly do think you'd come out the other side unscathed

you dont even get the chance to throw yourself into a fight against a someone wielding a weapon- theyre torn down before you can get too close, leaving behind a mess of gore on the ground. your attitude may have rubbed off on him, he hardly ever displays such strength and violence- but if this is what needs to be done to show that you dont need to fight anymore then so be it

TICCI TOBY

honestly? he might just join you in whatever danger youre about to throw yourself in- he himself doesnt have much survival instinct, though a lot of that hinges off of his inability to feel pain. he minimizes the damage done to his body most of the time

and... that kind of bleeds into how he acts when youre reckless, afterall hes never had to be careful about himself- and you seem to hold the same belief to your own body... its going to take a real nasty injury to snap him out of that and make him realize that youre not invincible- even if the lesson doesnt sink in for you

you still sometimes make light hearted bets on things when stuff gets intense- "oh i bet i can take him-" "oh i can do this with one hand tied behind my back-" and so on and so fourth

youre both a little.... foolish...

EYELESS JACK

painfully aware of human anatomy and what it can and cant take- that comes from being very interested in the topic as well as being able to look inside human bodies first hand

a lot of the time you cant even take a single step towards the danger, hes already got his hand on your shoulder and tugging you into the other direction... and in the case where its dangerous but not deadly? you can feel the look hes giving you under his mask... for someone with no eyes he can give a mean glare

you give him hypotheticals for threats that you can take on and hes just "absolutely not."... he will not spare your ego, your safety is far more important to him- youre the one good thing in his life and hes not going to let you get yourself killed

JANE THE KILLER

it takes her a moment to process what youve said and by then youre already running towards the threat- and shes bolting after you to either back you up or drag you away... preferably drag you away if its something that cannot be stopped or bested

what were you thinking? are you insane? what if you were killed? shes not going to hold anything back, she wants to understand why you would do something like that- especially unprepared... do you have a death wish?

not at all happy or pleased with your little habit of just. running into things head first... she doesnt think its commendable or brave, and shes going to let you know what she thinks as shes trying to stop your wounds from bleeding all over the place

you can tell shes trying to be nice- well, niceish- but her tone does slip out as she speaks

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astriiformes · 2 years

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It feels like all my creativity is just gone these days and I'm more than a little despondent about it. Like, I've had a 14 or 15 chapter fic I was genuinely excited about almost fully plotted out for months and I've barely written any of it, to the point that canon is going to catch up with it in two weeks and it barely feels worth posting anymore. I've spent a whole year looking forward to trying my hand at Whumptober again this month, but I can barely even formulate an idea for today's prompt-- much less get any of it written. After Scribe's birthday party last year I got all excited about planning one of my own because I haven't had a real birthday party since I was 18 and I love planning parties but now it's a few weeks away and I have nothing. I have no ideas and feel like it wouldn't make me happy anyways. I used to love coming up with ideas for D&D characters, and now I've been struggling with making a new one for months, both because I have no interesting character concepts and because every time I try, I end up sobbing for like an hour about how much I miss our old game, which we might never get to finish.

I know it's bad to frame creative hobbies in terms of productivity, but at the end of the day, successfully completing creative projects makes me happy, and I have so few things that make me happy anymore, and I don't need another thing taken away from me. But I can barely start things and I definitely can't finish them and I am miserable about it. Being at least a little creative is one of the few things I used to claim I liked about myself and it's just.... gone.

#like truly what is the point of anything anymore #i am just going through the days with no real change in how fucked everything is and so little joy #and even the few things i thought i might be able to hang onto (like writing fic) have been totally ripped away from me #it's not worth it. nothing feels worth it #anyways sorry for being miserable all the time. i have spent much of the last few days crying and want to give up on life #seeing as it has decided i need to have everything that ever made me happy taken away #fuck this

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captain-astors · 1 year

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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)

#mediocre art #tokyo ghoul #On some level I think I should like Kaneki more than I do but there's this weird sense of detachment #I have not only from him but being able to perceive him as a character?#I don't even dislike him it's just that I can't feel any which way about him at all. He's a catalyst for events #feels more like the conch from Lord of the Flies or something rather than a fictional person.#He doesn't suffer and learn from the consequences #he just suffers and does what got him there again. It's arguable that the lack of punishment denies him the satisfaction #but if that's the case why does he end the story with everything working out perfectly for him?#Why do his friends oblige his flaws and accept his lack of change?#Is the problem my lack of understanding or his lack of good writing?#Is he well written?#Why do I like a certain character from a different anime who's a very similar person with very similar dynamics #but with a goal and acceptance by himself and those around him that his actions really are reprehensible and cannot truly be atoned for #not only more but to the point that he's actually one of my favorites?#Am I just sitting upon a throne of entitlement #because his thought process and experiences are not catered to be applicable to and understood by myself?#GOD IF I KNOW ANYMORE #I'm not pressuring myself to like him or anything I just don't understand anything about kaneki these days and I don't know why

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persy-r-bozo · 2 months

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#Reds such a unique and sad character to me #No matter what he does he is in a loop somehow. both actually and mentally.#He wants change - but he's afraid of it - But he NEEDS it - but its too scary.#He wants to be normal - But normal is boring - But its safe.#Too weird for people - too normal for freaks.#He Likes those two - But getting attached hurts. - But he truly does love them - But what if hes the issue? what is HE hurts them.#and thats why i think transport was such a big turning point. because he does hurt them #He tries his best and does what he thinks will be best.#him being alone so he issnt an “Issue”#And them being happy and healthy in a place where thier needs are met. and they dont have to be scared anymore.#but he fails and he hurts them.#His torture here is feeling helpless and whenever he tries it fails to the point he feels awful.#He has such complex and battling emotions they loop in his head over and over. too the point he cant do anything #thus making him a neutral character.#But neutral issnt a Good thing #Yes he doesnt hurt anything. But he doesnt help or comfort either #He is in a loop inside and out.#Hes drowning.#SIIIGHH sometimes it hurts understanding him /hj. (i know theres like a gigillion ways to interpret him lmao.}#im actuly kinda sad i havent seen anyone else have the idea of him being torn apart inside and anxious tho.#or that he sees himself as a big monster. maybe even due to him leaveing before (trying to help but failing again)#or that hes easy to manipulate. thus creating danger for the other two.#But im just yapping and making a comic based on my thoughts :]#(as ive been a lil mentally ill about string man lately.#dhmis #dhmis red guy #dhmis fanart #dhmis comic #dont hug me im scared

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vehemourn · 24 days

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i just wanna know. what does anyone want artists to do. im really just curious. Like if u steal all of our work and chase us out of all of the jobs and crush every single one of us until we either die or quit. Whats the end goal. artists provided their work for free for 2 decades and built their lives in digital spaces. And in a few years the landscape is changing drastically away from that :/. I'm fucking tired. I'm tired of artists being disrespected. And yet its not going to Stop. Our spaces are still snuck into and scraped, our work is still stolen, and we still have people that are just outright fucking nasty to us just bc u draw a furry animal or are queer. what is anyone supposed to do. our communities were destroyed. our spaces were destroyed. so many artists are Gone and scattered to the winds. What is anyone Doing.

#not art #more than anything else its just Venting #i genuinely. want to die So Bad because of this shit dude.#like i built my whole entire life in digital spaces because there was Nothing for me outside of them #and now theres nothing Inside of them either #and i feel so fucking empty #my friends are hurting or Gone #my peers are Gone #the spaces only get Worse #my peers are being Stolen From over and over #the infighting is its OWN thing and i COULD tolerate that when it was Most of what i was dealing with #but now its . from the outside too #now theres outfighting and infighting! and i cant . theres just no space for me #theres no space for anyone! they were all fucking crushed #and its So Difficult to feel like theres ANY POINT to building your work online anymore #why should i keep fucking posting??? feed an art bot and an algorithm??? my friends arent going to see it #the people i like arent going to see it #whats the fucking point.#vent #vent post #-_- sorry #cw sui ideation #im So SO tired man :( im so Fucking Sad too #i never get any less sad looking around my spaces anymore :(#we had th and artfight and even those are fucking. a part of scraping now. and it is truly the final straw for me?#like you came into OUR spaces #OURS. for ARTISTS. and ARTISTS ALONE...#and you STOLE our work :(#that we put out FOR FREE ANYWAYS.#. :(

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arundolyn · 1 day

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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode

#crow.txt #the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god #can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done #be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else #i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later #i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now #what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today #including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus #like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted #and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn #its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care #but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either #bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual #and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just #walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was #guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm

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marsixm · 3 months

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ive actually put myself in so many situations and seem to come out doing socially well, youd think at some point i could get it in my head im not irredeemably bad

#that post about dysphoria like ‘u feel like ur covered in slime and people will eventually see the rot’ rly truly hits it #idek if its dysphoria or autism or what at this point #maybe its everything #but shit #ive stayed at hostels and hung out with and chatted w complete strangers #i went back to my hs reunion this week and actually hung out w people i thought didnt fw me anymore #my coworkers generally seem to like me- its felt rare when one didnt which is a shocking percentage #ive maintained friendships with my core group of friends despite living w them for over a year (u know how that can go) and not #being able to participate in like half the activities they do (sex parties i dont wanna attend or im busy at work)#made internet friends. believe it or not there was a time as a teen i thought id never be able to do that!#shit bitch even the guy i like who i constantly worry secretly hates me #and i constantly worry only puts up with me etc #yeah he doesnt always seem to let me in much but he barely lets anyone in?#comparatively he does seem to let me in a lot #i really have to remember to put things in perspective sometimes #just bc im not in my holmes/watson era or facetiming someone all day doesnt mean im a lonely loser……. smh #there was once a time i had no irl friends. I CHANGED THAT. I DID THAT. i can do anything

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apathyfairy · 21 days

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me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

#i want a corn dog so bad rn #ngl u guys im actually really struggling with turning 30 at the end of the year lmao #not lmao bc it really is bothering me which is so stupid i know I Know #but. and i know we're All struggling with this. but it's like god i have done nothing with my life #like fr. everyone says that but i literally have done nothing. ive never had a real 9-5 ive been freelancing since college #and tbh i guess that's not a bad thing? but self worth wise i feel like a complete loser.#but ive just made one mistake after another and i know that's what your 20s are for and u know what this is my tags and im not going #to keep contradicting myself i feel like shit bc i feel like shit and ive wasted my whole life thats that #i just feel like such a sham like i cant believe this is what 30 is like i on god feel like im still a teenager #not in a carefree kind of way OBVIOUSLY. which i never was anyway. but i just ?? feel like that #scary fucking episode of rugrats where tommy and chuckie become their dads and they go to work and theyre so fucked up bc #well theyre babies and they dont know anything. and even the fact that i just referenced rugrats to explain how i feel lmaooooo #relationship wise well u guys know how that is. and i truly couldnt care less about what people think about me not being in a relationship #ever and tbqh i dont give a fuck anymore either like. and here i go bringing this up again. but after my ex im like ok life truly is so #short fr i dont even care like anyway. anyway. the point is there is just no reality whatsoever where i pictured my life where i am now #once again living with the abusive relative i moved across the ocean to get away from.#no love life to speak of. fr dont care but god wouldnt it be nice to be loved fr.....#no career. living in a state i hate with all my heart. barely surviving money wise. which is everyone rn but #if i had known 10 years ago this would be my life i would have honestly killed myself.#like if i knew it would all turn out like this i wouldnt have moved i wouldve just fr killed myself and i wish i did lol #to be fair. i didnt see myself living past 18 but like. i just thought something would have saved me by now

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goldensunset · 2 months

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re: the music rant I tagged you in I am so sorry for tagging you in my double-dose caffeine fueled haterism explosion post. truly was off the shits and did not realize how much random garbage talking points I was ready to spill on the first person to ask

but i love haterism…..

#truly i really don’t care if ppl like those artists. they do so for good reason #but it’s just impossible to see it as like. particularly noteworthy and countercultural or anything anymore?#like obv it’ll never be on the same mainstream level of like taylor swift or w/e #but as far as being ‘weird’ or ‘fringe’ it’s like. safe weird. safe fringe #mainstream weird or mainstream fringe to use an oxymoron #there’s nothing wrong with enjoying something with a large community that makes you feel something #but it just isn’t particularly striking as far as making a statement about how unique you are #not that you need to be unique to be cool #but i think a lot of people truly do see it as a thing that makes them special or even superior #it’s not harmful at all just a little silly #and truly when every young neurodivergent well-off internet dweller is doing it. well it’s not totally weird is it #safe and sanitized weirdness #either that or to get back to the point if it is true weirdness then it’s like yeah are you sure this goes on that character playlist LOL #maybe the other bigger threat is when stuff is genuinely good and raw and unique and strange #art that’s screaming something out #and it gets watered down into something incredibly generic #like this lament about the singer’s very real life is like ‘woagh this is just like these two fictional white men who have never met’#less ‘morally wrong’ and more ‘hardcore cringe at best and in poor taste at worst’#or like. what if it is an EXTREMELY specific situation genuinely #why is it on every playlist 🤔#the answer is bc it goes hard of course so who am i to say they’re wrong for having fun #but behind the scenes in secret i’ll be laughing sinisterly #like everybody in the world thinks Their Artist is the most freakish unique and special artist. including swifties #fact of the matter there’s always something weirder. even the stuff i listen to i am well aware could be so much freakier #is there really any point in making it a competition of how weird you are #just listen to what appeals to you and stop acting like you’re the main character idk #asks #dj-of-the-coven #ok i’m done now. hope none of this sounded too bitter and judgmental

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wereh0gz · 1 year

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Y'know I think I'm starting to truly understand the kids who just didn't do anything in class during middle and high school. As someone who used to be a gifted kid and never really got it. Fucking hell