#i cant hold on for that long
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:-S
#i apologize in advance for the venting#………. uh#today i told my therapist that my psychiatric appointment has been set for march 5th and i told her that i was concerned because i feel like#i cant hold on for that long#that im really at my limit and being awake id unbearable at the moment and i wish i could do something to move it up or something#and i asked her if i could do it in private with a psychiatrist she had mentioned earlier#and she pretty much convinced me to not do it that way because its better with the national healthcare because its in person and the#psychiatrist would be physically near me (which is ideal) and because its way less expensive… and she said 20 days isnt that long and#basically if i held on for this long i can keep holding on for a little longer#which is true i agree but also most days i feel like im losing my mind literally#like right now….. and i truly dont know what to do with myself and 20 days seem like forever right now#i know i have to hang in there but i cant stop crying im truly at my limit besties i dont know what the point of anything is anymore
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I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#daniel molloy#louis de pointe du lac#danlou#iwtvedit#tvedit#dailyflicks#*#dont know if i can articulate my thoughts well#but something about how daniel at first is so closed off from louis when he sits down near him#doesnt really want to talk at first but starts opening up pretty quickly#then louis is buying him a drink and it's easier to talk. mostly what he wants to talk about is his journalism work#because its so important to him. but when louis starts getting too personal (i know what you're here for danny) he starts backing off again#maybe some combo of shame for how quickly he felt attracted to louis and the flirting and the diminutive louis uses#the bartender uses it when asking if hes got money tonight. hes used to exchanging sex for things he needs but cant afford#above all it's like a sharp reminder of what louis wants & what daniel wants too even before the offer of drugs#and he's trying to hold onto the denial and excuses. it was a good place to score he did what he had to#sex with men has to be in exchange for something he can't just want it on its own#the lie he tells himself about himself#also these tags are getting long but i think you can see the moment louis decides he might not just fuck and kill this guy right away lmao
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I've been thinking about the templars lately. they were promised honor, virtue, told that they would be charged with protection of the innocent... And then those same people are systemically exploited and abused, abuse others because they're taught to regard everyone else as either sheep who need to be lead or potential threats. Never equals, except in their brothers/sisters-in-arms. They act as the guard-dogs and military arm of an entirely different organization that they're only a functionary member of but have no governing say in. Even the chantry aren't their equals- they function as the templar order's supervisors! And all this isolation and closing of ranks ends in disability, addiction, death, and abandonment by the system they spent their bodies in service of.
To top that off, retaliations against them just confirm the paranoia they were taught to embrace. It's probably a long hard road to get out of that hole.
Like, listen. the dichotomy of mage vs templars is a satisfying and easy one, but the system is tearing them apart too. have you ever heard of a retired templar?
at the end of it, mages and templars need to unite against the real threat. the chantry.
#this is an anti chantry post i want that temple exploded NOW#the chantry controls the lyrium; benefits directly from the formari enchanter system; has a financial incentive to make and use tranquil#the templars are breaking themselves in service of a system that functionally does Not care about them in any way except#their ability to hold a sword and counteract fade magic and that messes me up#thedosians need a fucking cross-field labor union NOW#of course the kalna would probably send the carta after any potential organizations of that nature#and the coterie#cant kill em all though!!!#actually that would be a hilarious fic#dragon age#canon dont interact i dont pay attention to discrete facts here we operate on half remembered game knowledge and vibes#if there are any retired templars out there: uhh... enjoy that. happy for you king (alistair)#cullen rutherford fundamentally represents 'no retirement plans' for me#the man is fifteen chronic illnesses ptsd shit withdrawal and interpersonal abandonment in a trenchcoat with fur trim#text it#long tags
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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yall i have a confession to make….i fucking hate slowburn.
#THERE I SAID IT#IM SORRY#I just cant like when it gets too long atp MOVE ON WIT IT#like i get wanting to take ur time i guess#but wtf do you mean yall are makin out every chap#holding hands#youve met the ENTIRE FAMILY#AND yall said i love you#and somehow you still dont know what this feeling is/what you are ??? please.#cus like atp yall jus draggin it#i could talk about my hate for this trope for hours#i have another one i hate but i fear i would be burned at the stake for it so#im keepin that to myself😭#cash confesses#cash is sorry (no she aint)#cash speaks <3#cash rants#cash rambles !#cash is about to ramble
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not only is he shaking, but you can hear how scarred he was in his voice. while he did succeed in his mission, there were still things he 'failed' during it even though there wasn't a choice. plus, he saw imu and barely escaped the gorosei. he is shaken up by that day
and not to make things worse or anything... (as i think about this a lot and did mention it before...) imagine sabo checking luffy's vivre card and helplessly watching it burn away. when he swore- /vowed/ to be by his brother's side no matter where he was. but all is good cause luffy's alive !!
still, despite the mission's success, he couldn't do what he wanted. he couldn't save cobra and he watched lulusia disappear. he's badly injured yet when he returned, he smiles and laughs as he is happily welcomed in arms.
and mind you, sabo Is an emotional person. he was raging when he saw kuma's state during the start of reverie. and as i looked back at chapter 1085, he screams out cobra's name as he watches him die...
imagine how sabo feels in that very moment. how he feels watching someone he wanted to save die in front of him. even though cobra told him not to, sabo tried anyway but couldnt. like how he couldnt protect his brothers because he didnt remember them until it was too late
#op spoilers#one piece#one piece spoilers#one piece 1117#one piece 1083#manga spoilers#i love him so much...#sabo is really amazing#but i cant begin to imagine the emotions hes holding together as he gives out his explanation#he must be so scarred...#and before he started explaining iva asked if he witnessed the disappearance of lulusia#and all he could give was a saddened look which iva immediately tries to switch up and look on the bright side for sabo#sabo is an emotional person and acts on them he still tries to look on the bright side on things#despite unable to save cobra he can take the blame for the 'assassination' for as long as the flames of rebellion is sparked#sighhhh im excited to see more episodes about sabo i love my wife so much#flame emperor sabo#sabo#revolutionary sabo#dain talks
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i’m so tired….i want someone to lay next to me so i can cling onto them like a koala
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#cant stop thinking about this lately#like let me hold onto you so tightly with all my limbs#sorry you are Not allowed to escape#like i wanna cuddle but like in a ‘i want you stuck with me forever’ kinda way#in a you try to get up for one second and i hold you tighter and make sad eyes at you#sorry im tired and feeling clingy for once😴#just come closer everything is fine *with the intention of trapping you with my full strength for as long as possible*#romance to me tbh#im gay and i like sleeping
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(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)
athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute
odysseus: what?
athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do
penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes
odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?
athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.
penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire
athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.
penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment
zeus: where are they going
hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-
#odysseus disappears midway because athena plants one on him so hard his soul evaporates#(strategic to make him stop from coming after them and also from passion she forgot to hold back for once)#(and also shes maybe possibly in love and cant wait to get vengeance on Calypsos bitch ass who hurt him so much for so long)#penelope has had to deal with calypos afteraffects for literally the rest of their lives. from flashbacks to odysseus inconsolably crying#at her feet for forgiveness some days even though shes always said frim the first moment that it wasnt his fault#the rest of the gods have to chase them down to prevent them from eternally torturing calypso (goddesses cant die <3)#athenas blazing mad and sick with guilt and horror. she couldn't attack before because it would be seen as an attack from olympus#but as a wife! as two wifes! no political implications there no holds barred calypso gets her ass BEAT#but also pls imagine them chasing her and gods chasing them round and round the island while screaming#odysseus wavered like 17 times on whether to ask hermes for a lift there or not but goes in the end#their honeymoon in truth ends up being on ogygia#athena lovingly and seductively teaching penelope how to fillet a person both of them covered in ichor#odysseus with a hand over his mouth blushing grinning tears in eyes torn between turned on and terrified to be back and crying coz they lov#him that much.#((he goes to her just before they leave in the cave she used to drag him to. she can barely hold herself up and hes shaking to approach))#((but he's stronger now. settled and satisfied and content. he kneels by her and sets down bandages next to her.))#((i told you i was married he says. and because his truest weapon is his tongue- if youd just listened i wouldve found us both a way out))#she sobs and he leaves. the scars will never fade fully but he feels lighter as he steps out into the sun where athene and pen are waiting.#bloodsoaked and being shouted at by hera but smiling at him widely and gleefully as he approaches. takes a hand each and presses him btwn.#he squeezes back with a smile and leans into them. his beautiful horrifying wives#odypenath#odypenetha#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#odyath#penath#epic the musical#love in paradise
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here we have a late submission for day 6 of zukki week 2024: heist au (click for better quality)
@zukki-week
more thoughts under the cut
i got back into leverage this week so of course i couldn't not draw zukki as the ot3. i think suki would work better as a grifter than a thief (maybe even a hitter) but yk. i also stayed up way too long thinking about who is the mastermind and who is the grifter/thief remaining and i got to the following conclusions:
song as the mastermind and jin as a grifter just butters up my heart like i missed these girls like crazy and i think it would fit them (also azula as jim sterling is way too funny)
but then we have azula as nate (which i think is equally funny) and ty lee as thief
also mai as nate but thats just because i ship mailee and i wanted them together
#i spent way too long on this. and im putting off homework to post this#because again: shit time management#dont look at what sokka's holding please#the nigerian job has such dark scenes i cant tell whats in them djdhjs#like dont even ask me how long i spent trying to figure out what they were wearing in this scene#anyways i think they're iconic#like the ultimate ot3s#zukki#zukki week 2024#zuko#sokka#suki#leverage au#atla#my art
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no but y’all don’t understand
so I’ve been getting a lot of my photos for memes off of the IMDb website and most of the photo ratios are 16:9, right? but every once in a while there will be something in another ratio
there are never any edits or anything
so WHY is there an edit of the tragic ot3 death scene in the photo gallery for the long goodbye job???
like as far as I’ve seen that’s the only edit out of any of the episodes throughout all seven seasons of the OG series and reboot
the only plausible answer: IMDb page editor secret leverage ot3 truther
#for legal reasons the IMDb editor thing at the bottom is a joke I know it’s not true#but the idea is hilarious#anyways I NEED YALL TO KNOW THIS I CANT HOLD THIS KNOWLEDGE ALONE. YOU ALL HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ME#eliot spencer#parker#alec hardison#leverage ot3#parker x hardison x eliot#thiefsome#hitter hacker thief#leverage#the long goodbye job#leverage season 5#imdb#mine#not putting this on queue because I need y’all to know IMMEDIATELY#screaming
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i like him
#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him#i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form#it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again#if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat#or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour#idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed#i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny#if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive#never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny#im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory#i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that#i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit#myart#my art#doodles#stardew valley#stardew#sdv#sdv harvey#kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat
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cant believe when im consuming deltarune theories i have to sit through takes like "yeah I guess ANOTHER HIM sounds kinda like gasters theme but theres no proof" or "yeah people assume the intro narrator is gaster but we dont actually know"
like do yall need Toby to spell it out in big block letters for you?
OH WAIT. HE DID.
#incredibly difficult to believe that anyone whos ever deliberately listened to both songs cant tell theyre variants of each other#and man. come on. the twitter takeover of the UT account by an entity whose name was six letters long and blacked out#an entity who spoke in all caps and made direct references to entry 17 and the fact that players had been 'looking for him'#lead DIRECTLY into the intro sequence to ch1 back when it was just 'survey program'#therefore. the twitter entity is gaster. therefore. the gonermaker entity is gaster. THEREFORE. ANOTHER HIM#which is AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE to the 'Mus_st_him.ogg' filename for Gaster's Theme in undertale#and is literally a slight variation of the exact same musical motif. IS OBVIOUSLY GASTERS THEME#look i dont hold it against the average person for not connecting those dots#but people who are actually making videos on this shit and want to be taken seriously? they should do better.#excercise your brain cells my man#(except for you andrew cunningham. you never let me down)#on top of the fact that all this is actually really obvious if you look into it at even a surface level#ut/dr are not the kind of games where everything is spelled out for you#half the appeal in the first place is the way the story is told through hints and implications#and while theres room for speculation in many areas. toby is irrefutably an absolute nut for themes and motifs. so when you find them#you bet your ass it aint a coincidence#anyway rant over. im just TIRED of these takes#idk if any of this is actually coherent i havent slept#freak speak
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happy halloween
😈💚temporary rebrand teehee
#i know i said I won't be drawing much i lied i couldn't resist drawin myself a little halloween pfp (basically just drew over the original)#i'll try to draw smth for reigen's birthday bc in stubborn#but also i didnt feel any pain from drawing with my finger n phone#so as long as i'm not holding any pen im fine 👍👍#I CANT BE STOP FROM CREATING OK ITS A PART OF ME#anyways#serizawa katsuya#mob psycho 100#mp100
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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Hi 👋
I hope you are well, my friend🙏
I am from Gaza and I need your help
You may know the bad conditions we are going through here because of the war here 💔😔
If you can help me and make it easier for me to save my family❤️
Donate even $20 and reblog my post🙏🫂Your help will make a huge difference to me and my family🩷
I hope you understand what we are going through, and be generous to a family who is pleading with you from death🫶🇵🇸❤️
Link to donate is HERE ! 🍉 Vetted by bilal-salah0. 🇵🇸 Currently at £185 (!!!) / £50,000.
#ive been waiting for this campaign to be vetted and its legitimate!!#pls donate if you can afford to the amount is genuinely heartbreaking#share and boost if you cant!!#i will be sharing gfms twice a day in my queue once verified so they all get the same amount of attention#i know its counter productive to wait but at the same time i know attention spans can only hold for so long#free palestine#palestine#from the river to the sea palestine will be free
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