#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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i already posted abt this somewhere else but i was infodumping abt voltron to my best friend last night and went to rewatch the "i cradled you in my arms" scene so i could remember it properly and i paused right after lance said he didnt remember anything and im fucking pissing myself this is a man that is truly defeated like he wanted lance coming out of the healing pod to be like every fanfic where they have a crazy romantic reconciliation post healing pod and it simply did not happen. if i were keith here id flee the country. the look of simultaneous pain and confusion and emptiness is impossible to articulate. going thru every stage of grief at once. how they managed to fit this much anguish in so few lines is beyond me. and all over a man who listens to weezer and uses axe
#Keith get up ur embarrassing me#soad.txt#not art#voltron#klance#when i watched voltron for realsies for the first time in 2022 i remember being like damn klance aint shit i dont get the big deal#now rewatching it 2 years later im like FUCK KLANCE GOT HANDS#i dont remember if ive posted this before but we as a society dont acknowlege how insane it is that keith#well known for now showing a lot of emotion/having a hard time connecting with people#was practically on his hands and knees going I CRADLED YOUUUUUU#keith GET UP#anyways
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can women post literally anything without a man making it about himself
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in my head
bucktommy (mostly...)
Everything about being with a man is—fucking incredible. There are the little, tiny things, like how he gets to borrow Tommy’s products that he keeps scattered around Buck’s bathroom (except for the hair products. Tommy’s hair is frustratingly straight. Unlike him). How Buck gets to tug on his sweater after sex, and feel it lie loose around his collar and drag around his elbows. How he gets to sink into a chest at the end of the night that’s warm and broad, soaked with cologne, and run a hand down hard, toned muscles that quiver when he lingers for too long. And then there are bigger things. Things that don’t necessarily come with dating a man, but things that seem to come along with dating—Tommy.
He’s frustratingly confident and suave, for one. Cool in ways that Buck’s always felt an indomitable pressure to be whenever he was with women he liked. All that seems to come effortlessly for Tommy, and it’s easy to see it in the way he holds the door open for Buck, one hand on his lower back, herding him into a restaurant with his own body pressed up against his back.
It’s easy to see it in the way he flies Buck around in his helicopter, hands grasped over the controls with ease, listening to Buck chatter and occasionally filling in with little tidbits of information that he knows Buck would like. And it’s especially easy to see when he’s in bed with Buck, eyes half-lidded like he doesn’t even need to see what he’s doing to him, hands fisted in Buck’s hair, in his mouth, over his wrists and down the waistband of his briefs he drives him insane and then kisses him, sweet, with an easy little laugh as Buck tries to tell him that.
Tommy is…patient too. Patient when he stutters through an awkward explanation with Eddie on their first date. Patient when telling the 118 about them takes one week, then two, and then finally three until Tommy doesn’t have to take an awkward step away whenever they’re together at the station. Patient when Buck freaks as soon as he gets a hand around his dick. And patient—even when Buck swears he’s gonna fuck this up.
He’s calm—especially when Buck is catastrophizing in ways that mankind is probably unaware of. He just smiles and listens, and then soothes whatever Buck is saying with some one-line answer that Buck hasn’t thought of.
He’s tactile in ways that Buck’s never even known he’s needed—pressing a kiss behind Buck’s ear whenever he has to leave the room, putting a palm on some part of his body whenever they’re just standing next to each other, and slipping his hands into his when they’re walking to the car, to the movies, to dinner, to work—to wherever. He’s sweet, funny, an amazing cook, interesting, and kind.
And more recently, he’s really fucking hot when he’s worried.
“Evan?” He hears someone say—and well, there’s only two people in the world who say his name in a way that makes Buck’s stomach churn something fierce, and thankfully they’re far, far away.
“Hey,” Buck breathes, his voice just a little low and raspy. He’s sitting with his feet over the edge of a hospital bed, waiting for the nurse to come back with the paperwork he needs to sign so he can get out of here.
“Jesus Christ,” Tommy says instead of a reply, stepping forward to look at the smudged bruises on Buck’s throat, abnormally bright simply because Buck is pale enough to wear a bruise like a fucking neon sign.
“Not that bad,” Buck says, trying to smile as he spreads his legs and lets Tommy come close. He puts his big, calloused palm against the hinge of his jaw, tilting Buck’s head back to get a closer look, and then making a low tutting sound.
He got off shift and went home for a couple of hours, if Buck remembers correctly, so the wet hair and the warm smell of body wash radiating off of him makes sense. Also makes sense why it makes Buck so goddamn woozy.
“How was work?” Buck asks, bringing a hand up to the side of Tommy’s waist to hold him there. He lets his ring finger slide underneath his shirt and rub against the smooth, warm skin.
“A lot less dangerous than yours,” he replies, finally finishing with twisting Buck’s head left and right and looking down at him in the eyes. “I was worried.”
He leans down and plants a kiss on Buck’s face, with absolutely no bite to it and all sweetness. Buck smiles into it and gives him another one before pulling back and looking back at him. He’s got a little wrinkle between his brow. Buck prefers it when he’s got the smile wrinkles anyhow.
“You don’t need to be,” Buck says, stupid-soft.
Tommy hums. “I’ll be the decider on that,” he says, and looks out the door. “What’d they say? How are you feeling?”
Buck shrugs, trying not to purr as Tommy runs his hand up the side of his face and starts making big, sweeping motions over the stubble on his cheek. “Just said to see if anything gets worse over the next few hours. I feel fine—just a little headache. Soreness in my throat.”
Tommy listens intently, scrunching in the brow still ever-present, like Buck is giving him instructions on how to perform brain surgery.
“Okay, we’ll—”
“Tommy,” a voice comes, just from the left. Eddie looks surprised to see the two of them, like he always does, even though Buck and Tommy have been together for more than a few weeks. “You came.”
“Yeah, man,” Tommy says, dropping his hand to put it over Buck’s shoulder so he can turn to face Eddie, still in between Buck’s legs. “Thanks for texting me.”
Eddie swallows. Buck still can’t figure out why he looks so fucking shifty all the time, like him and Tommy had some big falling out even though Tommy’s reassured him that they’re fine. “Of course.”
There’s a moment of awkward silence, another one to add to the collection because there have been a lot of awkward silences between the three of them lately, before Eddie starts, and then Tommy goes too with—
“So I’ll take—”
“I’m guessing—”
They pause. Take a stifling moment to take an awkward breath.
“Tommy can drive me home,” Buck fills in, helpfully. He tilts his head towards him while Tommy rubs a thumb over his neck, so gentle he can barely feel it. “Thanks for offering, though.”
Eddie’s eyes flicker between the two of them. They’re so brown, Buck can’t believe it sometimes. He’s been looking younger and younger these days, with his hair poofy like the day Buck met him, and his t-shirts fitting him just the same way. Tight around his shoulders and fluttering around his abs.
Buck swallows.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, after a second, a smile pulling at half his face. “Let me know if you need anything.”
Buck nods, and Eddie shakes his head over at Tommy, some sort of man thing that Buck hasn’t really mustered yet.
The nurse trickles in just as Eddie leaves, and Buck’s in the car in no time, back at his loft where he’s changing into the hoodie Tommy left over his chair the other night, plaid pajama pants, and wearing Tommy’s arms, too, as he curdles into him in bed.
“How do you feel?” Tommy asks, smothered into the back of Buck’s hair. His arms are tight around his waist, hand flat against his lower belly. Buck rubs a hand up and down his arm and feels the softness of his hair.
His throat already hurts less and less, and he’d be surprised if he woke up with any bruising.
“Better,” he murmurs in the dark. “I feel better.”
Tommy smiles into his hair, and then shifts so he can press a kiss into his cheek. His legs tangle up with Buck’s under the covers, easily mixing themselves together. Buck sighs; feels himself relax.
“You smell like me,” Tommy whispers.
“Gee,” Buck laughs. It only hurts a little. “I wonder why.”
Tommy snuggles into him, infinitely closer for a second, while Buck blinks in the dark.
Once, twice, three times. He tries to settle down. He closes his eyes and breathes, trying to will his heart down and to let the darkness of the loft wash over him.
For some reason, he can’t get a shade of brown to leave with the light.
#posting a fic is so damn embarrassing like. clap or whatever#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911 fic#911 abc
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On a scale of Chang Geng to Luo Binghe, how well does your teenage protagonist cope with the realization that he has a massive thing for the guy that's basically raising him?
#15 year old Chang Geng losing his mind fuming alone in his room listening to steampunk wuxia linkin park#while 15 year old Binghe is in the next room over cheerfully updating his teacher crush blog#like yeah teen Binghe is the amount of embarrassed and shy about his feelings that you'd expect from any crush#and he absolutely does have SO many self-hatred issues#especially post demon reveal and abyss-kicking when he's older#but the whole teacher-student/age gap aspect is the one thing about his relationship with sqq that never seems to be a problem for Binghe#meanwhile I just finished spl volume 1#and at this point I'm pretty sure Chang Geng would sooner kill himself and/or whoever he was talking to#before he'd admit that he has a thing for his godfather#which like. yeah man. I probably wouldn't admit that either lmao#but damn is that poor kid going through it#spl#sha po lang#stars of chaos#chang geng#svsss#luo binghe#the scum villain's self-saving system#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#andie reads spl#ID in alt text
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If I see one more “they’re platonic soulmates 🥹🥰” comment on a tagged Caryl post I’m gonna go Carol on these mfs.
If you don’t ship it move on. Creeps. Only thing worse is when they follow up with “she’s like his mother. They have a mother-son relationship.” Wtf show are you watching?! They’re the same age??? Carol has adopted many children. None of them were a middle aged man named Daryl who she flirts with a dreams about being married too.
#twd caryl#Caryl#caryl is endgame#you don’t have to ship it#i get it#but damn why you gotta comment all over ship posts#I don’t trash on the other Daryl ships I just ignore them#just say soulmates 🙄#I just want them to be together already#I’ve done my waiting 12 years of it#the shows been hinting at it forever#I feel like I’m back in my old fandoms being queerbaited but with a straight couple#Destiel you’re endgame too ❤️#again you don’t have to ship it but the mom/som comments are so ridiculous#she literally jokes about him going down on her#like I get it if you want them just to stay besties or you ship them with other people but the mom/son comments are just 🤢#she flirts with him#they are the same age#just say you don’t want Daryl to be with someone with gray hair#daryl dixon#carol peletier#I haven’t started season 2 book of Carol so this could end very embarrassing for me#although honestly didn’t love season 1 with the weird messiah storyline#and Daryl abandoning Judith RJ and Carol#for some weirdo kid he’s known for a week#hated that#wow that last gif is perfect
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keykid dump
#kh#kingdom hearts#khux#khml#keykid#kh player#kh brain#sou (keykid)#stray (keykid)#ok brains barely here but i might as well#this is also more sou than stray but thats just bc sou wont let me rest#anyway hi. im not dead. ive just been too keykidpilled to function#ive never felt as obsessed w any character than i do w my own damn keykid ocs. thats embarrassing right#like u have no idea how much theyve completely taken up my head#ive been writing down ideas as they come and i have over 60 . im p sure this has never happened to me before#send help im abt to make a twt alt just so i can post them more#myart
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I hate to do this again, but I'm out of options. I have to pay my $350 power bill by 5pm CST tomorrow (December 7th, 2023) or I'll be disconnected, and my account is currently over $500 in the red from December's rent. I still haven't been able to find a new job and things are getting really desperate
If I can get $350 within the next 24 hours, I can pay the bill directly through paypal and at least keep my lights on while keeping my bank account overdrawn for now. If you're able to help out, my ko-fi is here, and you can DM me for my paypal or venmo if necessary. Reblogs are also appreciated. Thanks y'all <3
$0/350
#i'm really embarrassed to be asking again already#to preemptively answer some questions: the last post was about November's (overdue) rent. that was paid. the overdraft is for December#and no i don't know why this one overdrafted my account but the last one bounced#and yes $350 is an unusually large power bill. there was an issue with my water heater that my landlord took his sweet time to come fix#ugh i really do hate doing this again so soon i'm sorry#it's almost making me regret giving so much to mutual aid when i had a well-paying job instead of saving#keyword almost - i'm still glad i did - but damn this situation sucks
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Blorbo part 1
#tumblr app be damned i would post all of them but because of picture limit it's gonna take 3 parts#inside out#inside out 2#inside out embarrassment
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it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)
#sorryyyyyy for not posting ... please accept these as compensation#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#artwork of the damned#tales of the wild zeep#ummmm ok context for the first one should be mostly self-explanatory#i purposefully left the person he's calling open to interpretation#however for the record i will say i am a 'fiddleford was divorced before he came to gravity falls' truther#but that does not mean he would never call back to cali to check in on his son or anything#so take that as you will#uhhhh everything else is pretty silly and doesnt require much explanation i dont think??#i dont draw pre-college fidds a lot even though i literally have a whole backstory written for him LOLLLL#also i have a whole complex where when i draw a character pre-transition i feel embarrassed#sort of like i've walked in on them in the bathroom or something. like 'whoops sorry' and i politely look away#want to make it VERY CLEAR i dont think theres anything wrong or bad about drawing someone pre-transition!!#it's just a weird thing ive noticed about myself that i'm trying to deal with#and it literally only happens when i'm drawing. not when i'm writing
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hey you of course don't have to tell if you don't want to, but what was turned into a meme? i've been following you for so long but truly cannot think of what you're referencing. sorry that people were cruel to you either way :(
"this is such a raw line you'd think it was from shakespeare but it's actually from (more generally considered 'lowbrow' media property)". which is not even what i said in the original post that got me so much hate lmao. some of the jokes were funny but it was pretty depressing being misrepresented as some kind of bastion of stupidity and having posts written about me dissecting my personality and concluding that i was a waste of space with nothing of value to contribute to society based on one cringe post.
#like it was a stupid post but it was literally not what people turned it into#and i had to put up with being told by strangers that i gave THEM so much second hand embarrassment#that they wanted to kill themselves#like damn. really. and how do you think i felt then
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Redesigned banban!! Still don’t think I’m happy with it but oh well
Here he is Pre and Post Everything Going Wrong™️. This redesign is also sorta part of a rewrite I have that lives pretty exclusively in my mind bcuz I’m way too lazy to write it down and also my writing skills Suck.
Here’s some fun facts tho!
-In this rewrite the mascot experiments are not clay monsters brought to life, they are instead Sickeningly biological. Bcuz I think that’s super cool (euphoric bros rlly missed the BIGGEST body horror opportunity ngl)
-His mouth isn’t stuck like that he can move it freely, including his tongue. He just has a very Large tongue that doenst fit right in his mouth so it just ends up flopping out, making him look Very silly.
-his lab coat is a sort of comfort object for him, considering how he believes himself to be Uthman. I don’t know if it’d be sadder for him to have taken/stolen it after everything went to shit, or if maybe it was custom made for him after the whole Learning He’s Not Himself situation to try and get him to be cooperative
-his ‘horns’ are soft and emote like ears. They don’t have any actual hearing functionality, so he has like. Bird ear holes on the sides of his head that get hidden by his fur
-I don’t have it fully mapped out in my mind, but him losing a big chunk of his tail felt..on brand? Poignant? Fitting? Idk something abt it makes me sad and he is a sad wet cat of a man so I had to. He probably lost it the day everything went wrong in my rewrite, maybe an emergency door shut on him and cut his tail, maybe it got ripped off. Who knows…
#garten of banban#garten of banban redesign#garten of banban banban#garten of banban fanart#gobb#gobb fanart#gobb redesign#gobb banban#banban#blood warning#cw blood#tw blood#adding those just in case#I wanna throw him around like a rag doll#I also had a doodle of him getting chin scritches but got embarrassed so that’s not here#also don’t mind how the way I drew him in this is different to how I did in my last art post shhhh#it’s not my fault his so damn hard to draw without him looking weird in a Bad way
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holding Bakugou’s face in your hands and singing the cheesiest songs to him and watching him try to complain about everything even though he can’t help but love how everything sounds and how pretty your mouth is and admire how your lips curve around that one word. gets so entranced at the sight and sound of you, he doesn’t even realize how heavy his head has gotten in your palm, how low his eyes are, and how red his cheeks have gotten <3
#this was a self ship post but I got too embarrassed ajshdkdj#anyway you sing in love with you by erykah badu and he gets so sweet n soft n lax in your hold#or giving him a scalp massage while humming a love song under your breath#he’s PUTTY#you try to do this w Eiji and he tries to sing with you and throws you off#bc he’s so goddamn adorable but so damn tone deaf lmfao#I never talk about him but you do the same w shouto#and he’s just kinda staring at you and you think he doesn’t like it#but you try to pull away and he’s grabbing your wrist back and goes#‘why’d you stop? that was extremely relaxing. could you do another?’#I would melt on the spot#love singing to my favs if that wasn’t obvious#okay gn a few eps some bnha are airing dubbed tonight and I’m ready to catch up some ^_^#I think it’s the episode where bkg wakes up in the hospital????#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬
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Happy August month to August specifically :) also to the three people who followed me after seeing buff August art I see you I support you so much here’s a little doodle…as a treat!
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv farmer#farmer august#sdv oc#y’all I’m a little embarrassed this is like#the first thing I’ve drawn in over a week that I haven’t hated#and it’s a thirst trap of my own farmer#SORRY CHAT I think she’s neat#as do a lot of people apparanetly??? damn#anyways happy to report that buff August is canon#hc that she gets it from her grandpa#i promise i will b posting more content going forward this summer ha s just been so doo doo fart#but we live we thrive!
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If your WoL got an archon mark, where would it be but more importantly what was their thesis that earned it.
#ffxiv#wolquestion#wol questions#obviously still thinking about Frog and Erenville FEUDING#I think she was never interested in a formal education#but damned if she isn't going to go get an archon mark in amphibians somehow#starting with a comprehensive list of the ones she's fished and the ones she's fought#(Once she's done reading that out all the thesis supervisors are asleep so she can say anything and they'll pass her out of embarrassment)#Anyway then she gets the archon mark on the back of her hand#you know so when she flips him off he has to see it :P#(... no I think she'd get the Urianger)#tbh we should all be allowed to just have a Circle of Knowing tattoo after all the work we've done#like that's just a political statement not gated behind a thesis right?#Anyway I am rambling - hit post
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And when Dr. Coomer said: "I know there's a world in your dreams. And I need to go there." And when Dr Coomer said: "Every time you go to sleep I can feel my body torn apart, atom by atom." And when the Gnome said "What's wrong, Gordon? Woken up with something of a Nightmare, have you? In a few moments, you will wake up good as new! Like this was all just a mere bad dream." And when Gabe said "I had these nightmares every single night. What I saw in those dreams was beyond my understanding, but what was in the grasp of my cognition was the fear." And when every stream starts with them Waking Up and every stream ends with them going to Sleep. can anyone hear me
#AND WHEN THE GNOME SANG GOODNIGHT MY BEAUTIFUL.#taking Wake Up Mr Freeman to a whole new level#what does it all mean gif#the hlvrai rp has damn Dream Motifs now#Something Something it's like when you're dreaming and you tell people that you're Aware it's all a dream#and everyone goes angry and defensive#its not that deep. but what if it was. what if it was that deep#anyways. i just love it when the series is portrayed as more Dreamlike. and surreal#hlvrai#hlage#half live vr but the ai is so so sleepy and tired#my post#discussing lore is so embarrassing i gotta say The Gnome unironically
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