#like truly upsetting and sad
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God, his sister just.
Saving him.
I don’t even have a joke for that it’s so sad
#and i can usually make a joke about almost anything#but that’s just heartbreaking#like truly upsetting and sad#she died saving him and he thought she hated him for her husband’s death#i thought that corpse was going to get her but this was worse#so so much worse#and Jiang cheng also lost his sister#he lost everything and everyone#almost all of his family members#jiang yanli#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#grand master of demonic cultivation#mdzs
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"I hope you told your brother how much you loved him, because you're probably never gonna see him again."
"..."
"Was that too dark?"
"YES!"
"Sorry."
#mario movie#mario move spoilers#super mario bros movie#super mario bros#mario and luigi#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#i was gonna make a different gifset today but then i found that new trailer and WELL HERE WE ARE lol#TOAD SERIOUSLY CAN YOU READ THE ROOM HERE???????????#first time in the town was kinda funny second time was genuinely a bit upsetting to the point that i gasped when i heard the dialogue#mario would prefer you Do Not Say Things Like That!!!!!!!#he is no way shape or form emotionally prepared to grapple with the idea of his brother being dead or never being able to find him#that would end him. that would destroy him. he would truly not know how to go on. so that is just firmly Not a Possibility in his brain#(and now i made myself REALLY sad thinking about mario remembering this conversation a little later and wondering#when WAS the last time he told luigi he loved him????? he can't remember. he loves his brother more than anything and anyone#but he hasn't said it outloud in so long and the realization of that is extremely painful. there's some more angst for you!!!)#anyway this is just a compilation of all the significant scenes where mario and luigi are actually together we've seen so far and I CRY#also the brand-new one of them running through town!!! omg it's perfect#with mario doing unnecessary parkour and luigi just diligently jogging along on the outside and avoiding the mess#the characterization even in the tiniest moments like this is truly CHEF'S KISS#will be working on more gifsets because my brain just needs to stare at all this until the movie comes out lololol
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
#it hurts but it is natural and im not oversensitive and im allowed to feel this way#the future i had envisioned and hoped for and believed in was just.. suddenly gone and im allowed to mourn the loss#because for an entire year i've been wanting this. and imagining it and thought of ways it could be real#and i didnt base my feelings only on imagination but on his words and him saying that we should figure out whatever was between us#and in the way we talked and what we shared and how he did start treating me as 'his girl'#which i also do not think was irresponsible nor am i upset by that. bc i wasnt 100% present bc of my avpd stuff#but it was so amazing and he was so amazing and i'd been having feelings for him for half a year before and then i only fell more and more#im trying to be as non specific as possible bc like i can only talk abt *me*.. but there were just sm other things and circumstances#so it got less and less intense.. and i wanted to give him space and patience and not push smth on him and be insensitive#then i told him abt being in love w him and wanting to be there for him w his struggles and working it out together#and im embarrassed af but i had honestly thought... that would be met well and with reciprocity...#(i understand that feelings cant be forced & im not upset or feel betrayed i just felt v sad bc i was so sure he would want me to be his gf#but i got neither a clear rejection nor much of what he was thinking abt me and what was between us. mostly just that it wasnt a good timin#so again i wanted to respect that and not keep push it. even if i tried bringing it up sometimes it never got anywhere and it didnt feel#right to just keep and keep on doing it. then there were times when i /felt/ rejection and got more hope based on interactions#truly i've been walking around for a year believing that this was smth that would come true if only we could talk#and i've been waiting and hoping and loving. and i've really been thinking of it as a real future#i even tried telling him a few months ago that if he wants me he can have all of me but he told me to stop so i did#and now i've learned that none of my devotion or hope was returned... i've been in this waiting room all alone all this time#i thought i was patient bc of all the other things but he couldnt give me a chance but he did for someone else and that just hurts#idk it hurts bc this love and connection meant so much to me and i wanted to do anything to make it work#and when u realize all of a sudden that it was only u who felt that and that future u so badly thought would happen isnt real#.... i feel extremely lost and despairing. plus it just is how i feel but i've only been this connected to him#honestly it might sound weird how i can feel this much for someone i've never met irl but he has been my only hope and comfort#for the past years he hs been my only comfort and the only thing making me feel good and ok and hopeful.... so it hurts it hurts it hurts!!
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...
#my best friend got engaged today and I am so so happy for them and their partner but#I am also jealous and sad that it's not something I have#I'm figuring out how and when to end my current relationship and she found her forever.#I will absolutely never tell her that it's upset me in any way but I need somewhere to say that I'm dealing with that#This summer my social circle has included 3 weddings 2 engagements and an elopement#I love that I’m surrounded by happy people but it’s a lot of change and I feel like I’m being left behind while every body else moves on.#and I truly just needed a minute to be sad about it without inflicting it on my friends.
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I know it happens often to see writers during a long fic to complain at some point about the first chapters because they got better in the meantime and they look bad to them now.
But this is the first time where I saw this happened when the writing actually got worse
#Like this fic is enraging me#Because it started okay#Simple writing that generally worked despite some awkward moments from time#And evolved into this word vomit where everything is just stated (litterally zero show and all tell) multiple times!#Like it builds zero emotions it just tells me#Conversations made less and les sense going on#I saw zero bonding between the main characters despite being together basically in every scene#It drives me insane#This person believes they got better just because they write longer chapter and longer paragraph#But they tell me litterally nothing#Or so little in proportion to the amount of words#This isn't to bashing on the writer of course#Which is why I am consciously saying nothing about the actual content of the story here#But Jesus christ#Not only i feel like the whole plot that I had interest in was ruined#But also all the potential of the writer themselves#I saw at first someone who just needed to learn some more but was doing generally fine#And instead of improvement i am seeing them getting worse and worse#If they truly believe this is better then they're beyond salvation#I am so sad for all that wasted potential#Rant#Sort of#Ignore me i just needed to express these thoughts and feelings somewhere#I don't want to upset anyone#Maybe I should just delete this post
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When Xiao Fei is trying to save Seven towards the end of season one and is making those sad little noises….ough
#I’m also the person who in show or movies when the play the sound of a dog whining or crying it deeply upsets me#it didn’t use to be that way but now I almost have to mute or take a hike like it’s soooo upsetting#I was like near tears I was like nooooo Xiao Fei noooooo😭#I am not immune to tiny creatures making sad tiny creature noises#scissor seven#also debated too long whether to use seven or ah qi here it’s fine#by yours truly the omelette of cheese
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I hope something happens that makes you feel happy soon, you're a good, kind person and a skilled artist!
The brain can be mean sometimes and make good times feel bad and self-doubtful. I often get it too and so do many others. I don't know if it helps but you aren't alone.
Please know that it's okay to not be the most extroverted person in the world, and that what you do and make has helped many people find happiness, community, and feel less alone themselves.
I hope you have a good week :)
Thank you so so much mysterious anon
And I am truly sorry about dumping dumb emotional stuff here, but thank you for your kind words they do help me feel a lot better
#ask#check when sad#please never feel obligated to like send me comfort if I say upsetting things#I’m aware sometimes my self deprecation can come off self centered and attention grabby#I truly do appreciate the kind words from everyone#I feel better now at least!#these things ebb and flow like waves#just gotta ride it out
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Dude. I keep trying to find out if maybe I lack the ability to feel empathy because when I look at lists that describe what empathy is it's stuff I've never experienced before but every time I try looking up "how do I know if I lack empathy" it's all stupid shit articles like "How do deal with people who lack empathy" and "warning signs to look out for in people who lack empathy" oh my god shut up!!
#jelly.txt#why does everybody act like not having empathy is the end of the world. i can feel compassion and sympathy you know.#but the reason i'm wondering if i truly don't feel empathy or if its just really low i that i have this crushing need to always fulfill#other peoples wishes and find joy out of making other people happy but i don't think i've ever ''felt what somebody else felt''#and i cry at sad parts of movies and stuff like that but only because i start thinking 'man that would suck if that happened to me'#and then i start imagining it happening to me and get upset etc etc. and i'm pretty sure that doesn't count as empathy#since really in those instances i'm crying over... myself.... so.
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i am just going to say that since the start of the fandom implosion i have gone back and forth on how active in 911 fandom i want to be. i love them and the show means a lot to me and i don’t quite want to just walk away — even if my hopes for eventual storylines are in bad faith. i also have found myself getting overwhelmed with it all even on my own dash more often, from all sides and really am continuing to figure out what my relationship with the show looks like at this point. when i changed my url back recently it was similar, it had gotten to be too much going on that I didn’t want to handle. so yeah. all this to say is no im not planning on stopping 911 posting but im also figuring out how to have a better dynamic with it I guess. it has felt at certain times like a show I Couldn’t walk away from. and that isnt what i want to feel and now I feel less like I can’t and more like maybe i dont want to. Or maybe i do! I at least want the option of it. I’m rambling now but yeah. I think my point is I’m going to work on leaning further into my multifandom, where I feel like that’s gotten lost in favor of 911 a lot of this year, BUT I also want to continue caring about my gay firefighter family (just in a healthier way). So if that makes anyone want to unfollow or filter or soft block or anything. I just wanted to share where I’m at <3 xo
#also fwiw I have my particular moments of feeling like the show didn’t care from the last episode#no I’m not a super big fan of the engagement as canon but sure. fine. I can see the appeal#and yes I can choose to see it as red string#i didn’t even know people were upset Buck didn’t fight back. I think that’s a whole thing to him. I want him to fight! this relationship is#different we were shown that multiple times. At some point I think Buck should say actually. no. I’m raging against this. but part of that#is because of his growth - that’s not something he’d Normally do#blah blah this is a rambling post but my whole main thing is how carelessly it seems they tossed out the relationship. it’s a mix of the#scene and the interviews. I was fine with it (sad but fine) before the interviews. and also part of me is like. well what do you even say#they Broke Up. you can’t be like ‘haha who knows maybe one day wink wink nudge nudge’ esp the way this show is written quickly#am I going to post this? idek. I’m just talking out loud now#MY POINT. my point is.#my relationship to the show looks a bit different. and that truly is a good thing#at least to an extent#like why did I get anxious that I might have Thursday night plans and couldn’t watch live. it’s ok girl. it’s ok#stuff like that. so more multifandom. also 911 likely not going away. yeah. k#txt#v talks
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Looking at grad school apps rn and it’s genuinely so over I’ve never accomplished anything or met a single person in my life #scared #girlunemployed
#I feel like I’ve been nonstop doomposting abt graduating#im truly feeling the dread tho….. I feel like I have 0 future and I will die sad and unfulfilled like 80% of the time#im gonna be like 23/24 when I finally get my undergrad degree and I’m so upset abt it#I feel like I’ve already fucked up everything for my grad apps… like grades aren’t the best I haven’t done any rlly impressive internships#or research or good experience like wtf have I been doing.
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Last night i dreamt that the whole chat history between me and my most beloved ex-coworker had been deleted. Truly one of the most horrifying nightmares i've had in a while
#first thing i checked when i logged in this morning was our chat#i was so sad in my dream lmao#also the way his name is so far down i have to scroll to find him is truly upsetting#ahhhhh#today was the first tuesday without him#(tuesday is urology newsletter day and i always worked for him that day which meant lots of fun exchanges#today was my first time being responsible for the whole newsletter too. scary)#(also it's not like i couldn't just reply to him on whatsapp and maybe get a reply back so we can stay in touch#i just genuinely suck at staying in touch outside of work. like please just let me send messages‚ brain‚ I'm begging you#)#tomorrow is office day again and i gotta say I'm really not looking forward to it#(also i really don't want to take the train lol. i know that it's stupid but i still think of that sound and jolt of the impact yesterday#i'm aware the probability of this happening twice on the same route within such a short time is very low#but it's still unpleasant to imagine- maybe I'll just stay in the back of the train from now on lol#or at least until I've forgotten about it)#okay oversharing time is over and i shall go to bed now#void screams#(but seriously do they delete these accounts at some point or do people who left the company stay there as ghosts#with a permanent out of office note~ i hope they do.)
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defending seungkwan online isn't enough anymore, i need a gun
#the way i knew these pple had zero morals when it comes to defending their faves and yet...#the things being said are actually genuinely disgusting and horrific#there's a separate hell for pple like them#i hope one day they'll look back at the things they're saying now and realise just how truly horrible and sad of a person they are#telling someone to “join their dead friend” bcs you ASSUMED he was being shady towards someone#making nasty comments under his post that was supposed to be smthg sentimental for him bcs it was in memory of a loved one#how do yall do and say such things and not feel any sort of guilt or remorse or even think any of that is an acceptable thing to do to#another human being#the fact that he had to unpin that post from his own ig page bcs of the nasty comments it's been getting is so upsetting#idew to imagine how seungkwan must have felt when he saw all those comments#bibi thoughts
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AT THIS POINT I NEED TO MAKE A PRIVATE TWITTER TO VENT OR SOMETHING??? because i don't think journaling can fix this, gang
#i feel so so so awful like god#upsetting my girlfriend is like easily the worst thing for me because with the way my brain is wired#my self-worth just pivots and i just feel terrible and start apologizing for even existing#it's not a fun feeling especially when i know people aren't exactly equipped to deal with that#i will stand firm in my expressions of affection and hope that they send a clear sign#but when i don't get much of a response; well .....#i don't blame her for it#i truly don't but ah god#i just feel bad like bad bad bad completely terrible#i also feel bad for dropping this on main but i needed to dump these feelings somewhere so tumblr tags it is#i just hope things can at least get settled a little without much struggle#usually they do but sometimes#i don't regret a thing and i never will#but well ; even thick skin has its cracks and all of that#i truly don't want to let myself break down bc i don't like to lose grasp of my emotions#now that i aired this all out i just feel more sad than anxious#i hope this works itself out
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not to be like "avernus is actually her bad ending" but... avernus is her bad ending...
even if she has wyll or even if she has the pc it still is not a good ending for her. she even tells you in the beginning when she learns that she's on a time clock she tells you that she would rather die than spend another second in the hells. if you bring her to the HoH she literally tells you repeatedly how much she hates being there and i can just imagine her skin crawling even though it's the first time she's been able to breathe and exist without feeling like every step is closer to her last.
she doesn't care!!! she does not care!!! if the choice is to die free and in her home then she is TAKING THAT CHOICE because it's her choice. it's hers and she will die in the comfort of knowing she helped save the world and she got to see the sun, the ocean, the stars, the moon, the city, one last time before she got to say goodbye.
convincing her to go back to avernus is her bad ending because she doesn't get to live for herself anymore. she doesn't want to. there's no reason to. she's living for wyll (or the pc) because she loves them. gods she loves them but this wasn't her choice. this isn't really karlach. THE FURY OF AVERNUS is exactly that. there are still moments of sunlight and joy that radiates from her but they get rarer by the day. at least she's alive. for you
#study.#bg3 spoilers --#the gears in my head are moving.... i started thinking abt her going back to avernus#she is not happy! she wont ever really be happy! karlach truly got the shit end of the stick when it came to endings#and while i DID make her a good ending that sustains me and my happyily ever after it is also important to know that#surviving the game doesn't mean you won the game! its very sad to know that karlach 'loses' no matter what#but you also have to see the peace in her choice... like she literally begs you not to talk abt it too much bc she knows how hard it is#and if tav says “i want you to live” IT LITERALLY MAKES HER SO UPSET........... bc thats what YOU want and she wants to live too#but not at that price its just not worth it#me making a whole nother hc post in the tags w the hc post#anyways im sad xoxo#death mention --
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the amount of things my brain has inserted hualian into at this point is astounding. tloz. pmmm. ffx. the epic of gilgamesh. More
#in pmmmverse hua cheng is some kind of fucked up sapient witch amalgamation.#also jun wu is kyubey ahahahahaha#in my final fantasy ten brainworld the story gets more changed up than pmmm bc in pmmm is very easy to draw the madoka-xl homura-hc paralle#but anyways hong'er volunteers to be a guardian for summoner princelian's pilgrimage and eventually winds up#becoming a fayth & princelians final aeon; only; something goes very wrong at the last second and xl is not able to go up against sin#his other guardians mu qing and feng xin leave him too:) and in the end he has nothing but hong'ers petrified body and a broken destiny#i want hc to fuse with sin like jecht does in the original game but since xl doesnt fight sin his final aeon never gets summoned to do that#but honestly its in character for hc to defy reason and the laws of reality for his god anyways so#hong'er gets so upset at witnessing his princes fall from grace from beyond the veil he implodes and half summons himself<3#only he looses it a little and ends up exploding the ruins of zanarkand and most of everything else around him and himself#when he tries to rip sin and/or jun wu into little shreds#get it. like the birth of wu ming#anyways in the resulting destruction xianle is presumed dead oh no:( jun wu escapes injured and is like#oh no!!! the battle with sin was fierce.... its so sad that xie lian died and also failed to defeat it.... that was crazy aha anyways#xie lian swears off summoning for a very very long time after that. hes busy roaming the countryside and pretending to cope mostly#he keeps hong'ers stone tablet with him. hong'er/wu ming/hua cheng was never truly summoned and so he sleeps too for a very long time#mmmmmm#i dont have the attention span to type out what happens after that right now but tldr xie lian returns to make a second pilgrimage#and exposes jun wu fuckery AND kills sin once and for all with his bizarre fucked up huge aeon he seems to be able to talk to#final fantasy ten isnt very popular so this probably isnt very comprehensible without context#but thats ok#its for me anyways
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When I told my mom what name I'd chosen for myself she was like "no way I was going to name you that", told me I had a good taste
actually my favourite response to that poll has been people saying “i know what my name might have been and now it *is* my name!” 🥰🥰
🥹🥹 also it makes me 🫶 to hear stories about supportive parents because it’s so good for people to respond to these things with joy instead of loss.
with me choosing a name was !!! it made me realise how estranged i felt from myself and how a name is something that holds you and keeps you and feels safe and warm and good
#i think my mom was surprised i didn’t call myself ash ketchum honestly#anon#ahhh that’s so good i’m 🫶🫶#i mean there’s huge variety in how people feel about names#with me if people call me by my birth name i feel a little sad because that’s careless of them#but also more like ‘haha wrong answer’ than truly upset
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