#TOAD SERIOUSLY CAN YOU READ THE ROOM HERE???????????

[chloecherrysip]

"I hope you told your brother how much you loved him, because you're probably never gonna see him again."

"..."

"Was that too dark?"

"YES!"

"Sorry."

[daitranscripts]

Trespasser Credits Dialogue

All This Shit is Weird

Trespasser Masterpost

—

Cassandra: What is this? A new book? “All This Shit is Weird.” Oh, Varric. That is a terrible title. What are you even thinking?

Cassandra: “The sky churned like a roiling sea on a dark and stormy night, centered on a gaping hole that led to the ass-end of nowhere. A hole that spit up many things that day: comets, demons… and a whole lot of trouble.” (Gasps.) It’s about the Inquisition!

Cassandra: “The din of the tavern cut the silence like it owed the Carta money. In the middle, in her element, Red Jenny. She looked me up and down—mostly down. ‘Not playing, weirdy,’ she said, gesturing with, and dismissively eating, a sandwich. ‘Don’t write that. Seriously, piss up a rope.’ Sera made the subtext text, which suited me fine.”

Cassandra: “The court enchanter swirled into the room like a drop of beautiful poison spreading in a wine glass. She sized me up with a glance. ‘I’m so glad you made it, my dear,’ she said, ‘I am Madame de Fer, the most terrifying person you shall ever meet.’”

Cassandra: “Leliana enfolded Alphonse in an embrace as warm as a serpent’s kiss. ‘I always knew I could count on your support.’ The count did not feel the bite of her poisoned dart until it was too late. ‘Even if it requires… your death.’”

Cassandra: “Drops of rain glistened on the griffon medallion grasped tightly in Blackwall’s hand. ‘The Silverite Wings of Valor. They mean nothing.’ He flung the medal to the cold and uncaring ground. ‘You don’t know what I’ve done! You. Don’t. Know. Me.’” (Sighs.) So romantic.

Cassandra: “Cole moved like a shadow that also moved like a knife, a shadow wearing a hat where dreams came to die. ‘It’s a riddle,’ he whispered. ‘A cold riddle that gnaws at your mind, but you’ll feel better when it’s gone.’” That… makes as much sense as anything Cole says.

Cassandra: “‘Do you place your Herald above the law, Ambassador?’ ‘Whose law, my lady?’ Josephine’s eyes glittered like angry opals. ‘The law destroyed by rebellion? By civil war? By poor fiscal management? We are the law!’”

Cassandra: “We left our mark on Adamant, but the dust hadn’t settled… and neither had Harding. ‘I can offer you a drink, if I catch your meaning.’ ‘If you’d caught my meaning, you’d have offered a double.’” What is even happening here?

Cassandra: “The Iron Bull was a great slab of muscle with horns that could hang a tapestry. One eye scanned for threats, while the other hid behind an eye patch like a Chantry sister’s old sins. ‘Come on,’ he barked, not looking back as he entered. ‘The dancer with the great rack comes on in five.’” That is… spot-on, actually.

Cassandra: “The commander had the look of a templar who had seen the worst of humanity, yet still had the time to style his hair. ‘This isn’t just a war,’ he said, his gaze steely like a dull blade. ‘It’s the only war.’” Cullen! That’s Cullen!

Cassandra: “The mage wore a class of handsome sneer cultivated by a thousand years of Tevinter elitism. ‘The name’s Dorian,’ he glared. ‘D-O-R-I-A-N. Spell it right, you marble-headed lump, or it’s… toad time.’” A toad? That’s hardly credible.

Cassandra: “The bald elf spun, mage staff crackling like the city after a good man’s murder. ‘You’re crazy!’ the red templar cried in terror. Moonlight glinted off ears like the knives you never see coming. ‘Better to fade out than burn away.’” Ugh. Varric.

Cassandra: Wait, where am I? I don’t… oh, here it is. “The Seeker clutched at my vest, her tears as desperate as they were pitiful. ‘Varric, I was wrong about everything,’ she sobbed. ‘Could you find it in your noble heart to forgive me?’” That dwarf, he… he… He put me in the book! (Giggles.) I’m in the book! I am reading the shit out of this.

[sk1fanfiction]

this thing i have in my notes that i probably won't finish

Cokeworth is interminably boring.

Cokeworth is grey smoky skies with smog rising from a factory on the horizon.

Cokeworth is long, cold summers without a hint of sun.

Cokeworth is purgatory for teenagers.

It's the intermittent sounds of Eileen and Tobias arguing downstairs as he re-reads his new Potions textbook for the ninth time, fingers drumming against the hard cover to the steady rhythm of their shouts-

A loud thump below the window. Severus's heart skips a beat; he crosses the room and slides the lower half of the window up, and a small hand with short, shiny, black-polished nails emerges, followed by a head of tousled dark red hair and a feral grin.

"Sev!" she says breathlessly.

The climber pulls herself into the room with practised skill but no grace; a large green toad follows. He goes by the name of Archimedes; Severus avoids him at all times.

The climber, Lily Evans, is the single interesting thing about Cokeworth.

She slams his window shut again, panting heavily, and flops down on the floor.

"You'll fall to your death one of these days," Severus rebukes, shaking his head. But he's glad she's come; he's always glad to see her. His bad mood lifts, and his parents' shouting seems far away now.

Lily ignores him, brushing dust and dirt off her favourite dungarees, her wand propped behind her ear, and rifles through his box of records. Cheap, faux-silver earrings dangle out of ear piercings she did herself with a needle.

"I've told you, there's nothing good in there - it's just my dad's stuff." He pauses. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Tuney's driving me up the wall. She's got another one of her boring boyfriends over. Probably wouldn't want me around him, anyway. I might do something weird and scare him off."

Tuney, or Petunia Evans, is Lily's older sister, and they are as alike as a vulture and a swan; that is to say, they are different in every which way. To begin with, Lily is a witch, like his mother, and Petunia is not.

"She just-" The earrings shake indignantly "-won't stop calling me a freak."

"She's an idiot," Severus responds reflexively. Lily Evans is utterly perfect, and even James Potter, moron supreme, agrees.

"I know." Lily sighs. "But for better or worse, she's my sister."

She flicks her wand at one of the records, and it slips out of the case, hovers hesistantly, and then settles down onto the record player. It's terrible, but at least it drowns out the sound of his parents arguing.

Lily's gaze falls onto the Potions textbook, and a smirk crosses her face. "Read it from back-to-front three times already, I assume."

"And added annotations. Can you seriously believe Borage suggested chopping instead of crushing peppermint leaves?"

"The idiot," Lily agrees.

[trashyswitch]

Don't Touch Mario's Love Letters

Mario has been writing love letters to Peach in secret, and Luigi quickly finds out about it. Though Mario doesn't always take kindly to teases from his younger brother.

This fanfic was for @elitadream. Here's the link for the fanart this was inspired by.

Though I know you're not part of the community...Come on! They're brothers! So you KNOW they get up to these kinds of things! But despite that, I have huge respect for you, and I salute your drawing abilities. So, I hope you enjoy!

Luigi was cleaning up the boys’ desk and throwing out the garbage bin under the desk. When he had gotten back in the room with the garbage can, he placed it under the desk and sat down at the desk. The last person that had used the desk was Mario. And Mario often loved to cover the desk in papers before writing in his notebook. Why he liked doing this, who knows…he’s always been like that. 

Either way, if Luigi wanted to ever use the desk for anything at all, he always had to clean up Mario’s stuff. Because the man just loves making a mess and not cleaning it up after. He’s been that way since childhood. And Luigi was long used to it. Luigi closed the top of his red notebook and read the front: [Name: Mario] 

[Subject: Writing] 

Luigi smiled and picked it up, before putting it into the desk drawer. But when he picked up the stacks of paper from the desk, a couple papers had fallen out of the stack and onto the desk, before sliding off the desk and flowing back and forth down to the floor. He was about to pick them up and put them back into the stack, but…He paused when he noticed Peach’s cursive writing on the letter from where he was: 

{Dear Mario; 

How has your week been? I hope it wasn’t too busy. You work so hard…you deserve the rest. Are the citizens of Brooklyn treating you and Luigi well? How is your family? Are they also well?} 

Luigi raised his eyebrow. He picked it up and flipped it to the back to read it a little more. 

{Duties resume like clockwork at the castle. The toads made me some simmered fruit for lunch, which really hit the spot. I also got to pick some flowers and replaced the flowers on the table. The first bouquet was dying, which was making me feel down. Wilting flowers make me sad.}

Luigi chuckled and put the letter back in the stack. Then, he picked up the second paper: [Dear Peach; My week’s been a little busy, but not bad so far. The people of Brooklyn are always great to us, but I am very thankful for the rest. And my family’s doing well too. Mama’s just as sweet as ever. So, I was thinking…Maybe we can spend some time together this weekend! Do you have any recommendations for pretty places to go? And do you prefer indoor or outdoor activities the best?]

Oh…My…god…Is Mario seriously considering taking her out on a date?! THIS I have to see. Luigi put the rest of the stack back into the drawer before leaving the room with the letter in his hand. He walked himself up to Mario, holding out the letter. “Hey Mario…” Luigi called, dangling it like the teasy brother he is. 

Mario turned around to look at him. “Hm?” He hummed. 

“What’s this ya got here?” Luigi asked. 

Mario walked a bit closer to see the writing on it. But when he saw the red pen, Mario screeched and attempted to snatch it from his brother. “Where did you-” Mario saw his hand was empty, and the paper was still in his hand. “Give it-” Mario reached up, only for the paper to go another inch higher. “Give it back!” Mario ordered, reaching up. “Recommendations for pretty spots, huh?” Luigi teased. 

Mario grunted and reached up for the letter again, showing a bit more anger on his face as he failed to reach it. “Luigi-” Mario muttered.  “You wouldn’t happen to be setting up a little date with the princess, would you?” Luigi asked, being a nosey little pest. 

“Give it back! Right now!” Mario ordered. 

“What kind of date ideas were you gonna propose to her?” Luigi asked, purposefully flipping the letter back and forth in front of him to entice his brother. 

“None…” He looked at Luigi. “-of your business.” Mario spat back, poking his chest.

“Come oooon, Mario.” Luigi pulled it back up as Mario jumped up to grab it, but to no avail. “Tell me! I wanna know!” Luigi said. 

Mario finally stopped reaching up for the letter, and crossed his arms, clearly pissed. “This is my last warning.” Mario muttered. 

Luigi chuckled. “Or what? What are you gonna do, shorty?” Luigi teased, acting like he had the upper hand. But Luigi wasn’t gonna have the upper hand for much longer. Because Mario reached his hand up one more time, causing Luigi to lift it up higher. But the moment Luigi did that, Mario tickled his brother’s armpit. “Oh nothing…Just this.” Mario replied, poking his armpit a little harder. 

Luigi squeaked and pushed Mario away with his hand, trying his best to keep his other hand up despite being tickled into bringing it down. “WaHAIT! Mahario!” Luigi backed himself up. “Thahat’s cheating!” Luigi told him, his voice going super high-pitched.

“And you’ve made this an unfair game! Meaning tickles are now allowed.” Mario told him. 

Luigi hopped onto the bed to get away from him. “AHA!” He declared, pointing at him. “Try and get me now, Mario!” Luigi taunted him. 

Mario clicked his tongue, shaking his head with a smile. “You just made things so much worse for yourself.” Mario added as he walked up to the right side of the bed. 

“No I didn’t. What are you talking about?” Luigi asked with genuine confusion as he kept an eye on his brother. Mario brought his finger up to the back of the knee. Luigi raised an eyebrow. “What are you-”

He poked it only once. 

“gaaAAH!” Luigi shouted, snapping his head forward. Oh no… Mario started scratching the knee pit with a big smirk on his face. “Did you forget about this ticklish spot, Lu?” Mario asked. 

Luigi quickly felt the smile fill his face as he hung his head. “MAHARIO DOHOHON’T!” Luigi shouted, bringing up his right knee to cover it up. Now, Luigi knew how to laugh and not lower his arm while being tickled in the armpit. He’d gained enough practice doing that during tickle fights with Mario. But the knee pit was a newer tickle spot entirely, that had been found out completely by accident! And…He didn’t have nearly enough experience covering up his kneepits very well without falling. “COHOHOME OHOHON- IHIHI’M GOHONNA FAHAHAHALL!” He reacted. 

“Oh, I know. That’s what I want.” Mario told him. 

“YOHOHOU SUHUHUHUHUCK!”  Luigi shouted at him. 

“Oh? I suck now?” Mario asked. “Says the one that stole my letter and refuses to give it back.” Mario told him. 

“IHIHI WAHAHAS JUHUHUST-” Luigi felt his knees buckle as he fell onto his back against the bed. “NAhahahaha- Nohohohoho!” Luigi whined, pulling himself into the fetal position as the phantom tickles on his knees continued to plague him. 

Mario jumped up onto the bed and onto Luigi, before pulling on the letter. “Let go, Luigi!” Mario ordered. 

“Neheheveher! Ihihi wahant ahahanswehehers!” Luigi complained, gripping the letter a bit tighter.

“And you won’t get any answers unless you let go!” Mario added, letting go of the letter before tickling his belly and sides. “So let go!” 

Luigi squeaked and threw his head back, laughing and tightening his grip on the letter while extending his legs. “IHIHI DOHOHON’T TRUHUST YOHOHOU!” Luigi argued. 

“Then keep acting like that. See if I care.” Mario said, smirking as he moved his finger to his belly button. “Besides, I’m rather enjoying tickling you.” Mario added. 

Despite laughing and wiggling around, Luigi wouldn’t let go of the letter. In fact, the tickling seemed to only tighten his grip on the letter. 

And Mario quickly noticed this. “Damn…you can’t go down without a fight, can you?” Mario asked. 

Luigi was cackling and shaking his head. “DOHOHOHO YOHOHOUR WOHOHOHORST!” Luigi shouted. 

Mario shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.” Mario took in a big breath and blew a raspberry on his brother’s belly. 

Luigi screamed and laughed rather hysterically, unable to control how outlandish his laugh was by this point. 

Mario smiled. While Mario did enjoy making Luigi laugh like this, he kinda had a mission right now. So, he tried to focus by tickling Luigi’s lower ribs. “Are you really that stubborn to find out the truth behind that letter?” Mario asked with a smirk. 

“YEHEHEHESS!” Luigi replied.

“But why?! You already guessed everything right!” Mario replied, stopping his tickles for a moment. 

Luigi let out a few breaths of relief and looked at Mario. “But…” He looked up at Mario, almost with a look of desperation. “But I had questions!” He reacted. “What kind of date were you gonna come up with?” Luigi asked. 

Mario shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. That’s why I was going to ask her for ideas for-” “Pretty spots to go?” Luigi teased.

“Pretty pla-...Oh…Well, Ye…Yeah.” Mario muttered, blushing. Luigi actually read the intro?! God, this was more embarrassing than he thought… “Truth was…I was gonna try and fix that intro to make it more subtle.” Mario admitted. 

Luigi chuckled. “Yeah…It’s a little ‘on the nose’.” Luigi added. 

Mario rolled his eyes. “Don’t criticize my letter-writing skills.” Mario told him. 

Luigi chuckled as he got up onto his feet. “Alright.” He offered Mario the letter. “I’m guessing you wanna finish it now?” He asked. 

“Yes, I would like to.” Mario reached up to grab the letter, but widened his eyes when he saw Luigi pull it back. “Wha-” 

“Now before I give this to you…” Luigi started. 

Mario sighed and crossed his arms, tapping his foot. “Yes?” 

Luigi smiled innocently. “I must ask: How long have you had a crush on Peach?” Luigi asked him. 

Mario groaned. “I don’t need to tell you that.” Mario complained. 

“Excuse me-” Luigi placed his hand on his chest, showing mock offense. “We are twins! We ALWAYS tell each other our secrets!” Luigi reacted. 

“And you already know what you need to know! Now give me the letter!” Mario ordered. 

Luigi chuckled. “Fine, fine.” He offered Mario the letter again. But right when Mario reached out for it again, Luigi pulled it back. “Oh! I forgot-” Mario wrapped his right arm around Luigi in a chokehold, pulling him down and making Luigi double over so Mario could reach. “Drop it! Or else.” Mario said with an evil smirk on his face. 

“Ow! Okay, okay here!” Luigi let it go, dropping it to the ground. “Mamma mia, you’re strong.” Luigi muttered as he felt Mario’s arm loosen off his neck. 

“Thank you.” Mario picked it up and walked back to the bedroom. 

“...So that’s it?!” Luigi asked. 

“Were you expecting more?” Mario asked, turning around. “Well…I was hoping for a thank you for cleaning up the desk.” Luigi admitted. 

“Wha-” Mario looked in the room, and groaned. “Why did you clean up my stuff?!” Mario looked at him. “I was gonna go back to it!” Mario yelled. 

“Because I wanted to use it! And you never clean up after yourself!” Luigi replied. 

Mario chuckled. “Fine…I’ll make sure the desk is clear when you wanna use it. But in return…” Mario’s head popped out from behind the bedroom door. “You need to promise to not be a nosy-pants and leave my stuff alone.” Mario told him. 

Luigi nodded. “Alright.” Luigi smirked a bit. “So if you don’t want me touching your stuff, does that mean you’ll start cleaning the entire desk yourself?” Luigi asked. 

Mario rolled his eyes. “If it’ll help resist your urge to read my stuff, then maybe.” Mario replied. 

“Oh! Speaking of reading your stuff…” Luigi started. “Peach has some nice cursive, I gotta say.” Luigi added. Mario widened his eyes and blushed slightly. “Yeah…She does. She’s a princess.” Mario added. 

Luigi laughed. “I guess that’s true.” He replied. “But I find it funny that you both prefer to use colored pens to write your letters.” Luigi teased. “Whatever happened to you just using purple or black pens?!” Luigi teased. 

Mario growled. “Shut up.” Mario muttered. 

Luigi thought for a moment. Mario had always used black pens…this had been the first time Luigi had written with a red pen. Wait…Was he writing in red pen for just his letters?! 

Luigi quickly smirked as he connected the dots. Once he did, he walked up to the door. He knocked on it and patiently waited for the door to open. When it opened, Mario was standing at the door, looking completely done with Luigi. “Yes?” 

“Do you write all your letters with a red pen?” Luigi asked. “Yeah, why?” Mario asked. 

Luigi’s smile widened. “Then are you writing your letters with a red pen on purpose so she’ll think you’re cute?” Luigi asked with an innocent smile. 

Mario widened his eyes and stuttered for only a moment…before rolling his eyes and slamming the door on Luigi. But this only made the taller one double over and cackle at him. “YOHOHOU’RE SUCH A DORK!” Luigi laughed, turning away so his back was facing the door and walking away.  

The door opened again. “VAFFANCULO!” Mario shouted before slamming the door again, making Luigi’s laughter go up another octave. 

Luigi eventually turned around and walked to the kitchen as he started to calm down. All the teasing, tickles and establishing Mario’s dorky nature…had made him very hungry. So, he heated up some leftovers while he let Mario be. 

The funny part was, he’s lucky that he can tease Mario all he wants…because he’s one of the only people who can tease him and get away with it without even a punch in the face. If he was literally anyone else, you would get destroyed by the small, but mighty man. But…Luigi is his twin brother, which earned him the opportunity to tease him without even a finger laid on him. 

Luigi swallowed and blushed a bit. Well…that’s not entirely true…The man did tickle him to get him to the ground and then chokehold him to get the letter back…But that’s just brotherly revenge for you. 

[kaelang12]

WitW Comparison pt 4: TOAD

here he is, folks- the Ambitious Amphibian, the Ayatollah of Rock n Rollah, Toad of Toad Hall!

it takes a great effort to portray him right, and which version will come out on top? let's find out!

tj!Toad is, in my honest opinion, a little too much like me to be comfortable with.

i WAS Toad, when i was a kid. unaware of how the world works, bad with money, socially awkward, and switches hyperfixations at the drop of a hat. truly an ADHD icon /s.

look at him, so happy to have visitors. he wants to be around people so bad, but he just has zero sense and cannot read a room.

he's the one who sells Mole's home to the weasels, just so he can have quick access to more money.

it's not that he's greedy about money- quite the opposite, in fact. he will throw money at whatever he wants as long as he gets the gratification from it.

Rat: "Don't worry, he'll soon get bored with it."

geez, not even a day and he's already tired of the caravan.

at least he's a better driver than me

about the only thing he learns from Badger after a stern talking-to is to call people he doesn't like "nincompoop".

which gets him 15 years added to his prison sentence for back-talking a Bobby.

i'm gonna skip the whole "disguise in drag" thing, for both my and your sake.

does he ever feel bad about what he's done? i would say at least once.

that shell-shocked look right there. he's thinking to himself "I screwed up, and it's all my fault."

but considering he's Toad, he recovers rather quickly after he learns that Toad Hall wasn't blown up.

i wonder how he paid for the plane

Toad, in pretty much every adaptation i've seen, suffers from a heavy case of Aesop Amnesia. he rarely, if ever, learns his lesson, and gets away with it in the end.

tj!Toad is very much what i call a "manchild." even Bertie Wooster would tell him to wisen up.

will the musical make him better? let's find out!

-------------------

i LOVE musical!Toad. he has influenced me enough to add some of his behaviors to my own oc, and i do not regret it one bit.

INCOMING HAM ALERT! INCOMING HAM ALERT!

seriously, i have to wonder how he can talk when he's too busy chewing the scenery. absolute Mad Lad. my goal as a masc NB is to look like this in the future.

it's too late. the hyperfixation has already taken ahold of him.

Ork logic tells me that red things go fasta, so i gotta believe them. and it feels like Toad has also taken that to heart. if he had a GoPro, he'd absolutely slap that bad boy on and cruise around doing dangerous stunts. actually, scratch that- he'd still do it, GoPro or not. it's all about the adrenaline, babey!!!

"The thing is...that I'm not sorry!"

Toad, not being sorry:

once more, i will skip the drag scene for everyone's sake.

so, he retakes Toad Hall, gets forgiven (but just barely), and has a party. is he gonna be able to surpass tj!Toad?

of course he does.

dunno where he got the jetpack, or how much it cost, but he is now free to menace the skies at his leisure.

musical!Toad is not a good person. he's selfish, fickle, and gets away with multiple crimes in the end.

but is he fun to watch? absolutely! he hams it up loudly and proudly. he's Toad of Toad Hall, and you will bear witness to his greatness.

just take the jetpack away from him before he hurts somebody. or himself. preferably not both.

[sneezemonster15]

why did sasuke remember sakura's smile at the hospital? ss shippers claim that he was jealous of sakura, but when he almost killed her with chodori at the rooftop, he didn't care...

They are just desperate little people with their heads filled up with fantasies and hormones. They don't see what precedes a certain panel and what succeeds it. They have never heard of selective reading. Or context. Wouldn't know narrative or visual language if it hit them in the eyes. Can't even follow a story written for kids. Or if they do, they certainly don't act like it. Do they even get nursery rhymes? Cause seeing their level of comprehension, I have my doubts lol. They are deliberately stubborn about things that are so freakin obvious, it's embarrassing. Sasuke was feeling very insecure and resentful because he had just had a confrontation with Itachi, his brother that he wanted to kill and had devoted his entire life to that particular goal. Oh but sure, he was only jealous because of Sakura, when Sakura herself admits he doesn't talk to her, doesn't tell her anything, is always quiet around her, hates her no matter what she does, when Sasuke is leaving Konoha. Because she is more important than Itachi to him. Yep, that must be right. Who cares about Sasuke's characterisation or the narrative, they are just going to believe whatever they feel like. Because Kishi is their maternal uncle who bounced them on his knees when they were small and they are totally entitled to twist his story any which way they like. Oof.

Sasuke thinks of this. Panels are in order.

How can someone confuse this as anything else? It's like they just want to read the manga with closed eyes. Sasuke is obviously feeling resentful because he is in the hospital in the first place because Itachi hurt him, and Sasuke realizes he wasn't even close to him in strength, someone who happens to be his genocidal brother, and someone he needs to kill. While Naruto has just learnt rasengan, his taijutsu and ninjutsu skills have improved, and he was able to summon big ass toads to defeat Gaara, someone who was Sasuke's opponent, someone whom Sasuke was itching to battle from the beginning. Sasuke thinks of Sakura and the rest of it because he is jealous of Naruto and his improved skills, he knows Naruto protected them both. Sakura being Sakura who isn't the brightest and very partial to Sasuke, thinks it was Sasuke who rescued her but Sasuke tells her she was wrong. It was Naruto. After which, he gets triggered at Naruto's entry in the room and challenges Naruto for a fight. Because they are rivals, not just rivals, but they do compete with each other. Sasuke was very sure of his strengths and he thought he was doing okay but then he sees Naruto get so much stronger while he ended up in the hospital nursing his injuries and he obviously feels bad for himself. Yeah sure, Sasuke would think of romance sitting in the hospital, just beaten up and mentally tortured by Itachi. Sasuke is going through an entire range of emotions sitting there, visibly sweating and gritting his teeth but Sakura is just sitting there peeling apples cheerfully, totally oblivious to anything Sasuke is feeling, oh yeah, what a connection they have. Yum yum. So he flings the plate of apples outta Sakura's hand and gives her the death glare because he just loves her so much. Do you know how expensive fruits are in Japan to just go wasting them? Lol. Jk. But seriously man, my neighbour's seven year-old would get this story better than them. Sakura is in her own fangirl's paradise where she is nursing her handsome, popular and doting boyfriend back to health, she says - Now to cut them into bite sized pieces, and Sasuke is like - ......what is this annoying girl going on about? Fuck this shit. Fuck apples. Bring me Naruto.

And there he is, right on time.

Lol.

Sasuke even reiterates it at the end of the manga. Here.

Sasuke was jealous of Naruto. Because Naruto had a quality he didn't. He would go to any length to be able to protect the ones dear to him. Naruto protected Sasuke and Sakura from Gaara even though he was initially skeptical of his own strength as opposed to Gaara's, he was even scared a little. Even Sasuke realizes that Naruto was not being his usual self. But then Naruto, being Naruto, takes it on and defeats Gaara, aided by his summon, the giant toad. Sasuke was resentful of Naruto's strength. Sakura has nothing to do with this moment other than being a part of team seven that Sasuke thinks only he is qualified to protect. At that point, Sasuke did think of team seven members as his comrades.

Ss. Nincompoops they are. I am embarrassed writing about this and they are the ones who believe it. Bah. Let's please retire this ask already. No one has to feel confused as to what this panel means. It's clear as crystal as it is.

[battinscn]

WINTER WONDERLAND — draco malfoy x slytherin! f! reader

CONTENT WARNING: smut but not implicitly written mdni

SUMMARY: you thought you would be spending christmas alone at hogwarts, but little did you know that your boyfriend was cheekier than you thought he was.

WC/ AVG. READING TIME: 6319 words/ 30 minutes

return to the draco masterlist here

"EXCELLENT WORK MS Y/L/N!" professor mcgonagoll praised as you successfully transfigured a toad into a toadstool.

you thanked the professor with a grin and you admired your work.

"bloody hell, how'd you do it?" draco groaned frustratedly as he bore a hole into the toad ribbiting in front of him.

"brilliant!" you clasped your hands.

"class," draco raised his eyebrows in amusement, "thank you," he thanked for your help.

"your welcome, now you owe me one." you cheesed while biting the tip of your tongue.

the blonde boy bent down and placed a kiss on your forehead, "that better?" he asked.

"much." you hummed gleefully.

"uck, get a room would you?" blaise fake gagged from his seat behind the both of you.

"of course. you can join too babe." you turned behind to wink at the boy.

"oh mate, malfoy! get your mrs away from me!" blaise slapped his hands over his eyes to block your wink.

"she's not wrong. you're welcome to join anytime." draco shrugged as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, a smirk on his face.

"oh nelly i'm going to throw up." blaise rolled his eyes at his two best friends.

it was a common occurrence for the three to make jokes like these. the couple and their friend knew it was all just banter and nothing should be taken too seriously.

"now that all of you are done with your practicals, i will assign you homework over the chirstmas holidays." professor mcgonagall announced from the teacher's table.

groans and sulks erupted from the slytherin and ravenclaw students.

"silence," the professor tapped her wand on the tabletop, "i would like an essay on the summary of chapter twelve of your textbooks. 12 inches, no less."

the students started packing their quills and parchments into their bags and pushing in their chairs.

"happy holidays year sevens!" professor mcgonagoll dismissed the class.

"finally, the last lesson of the year's over." you sighed happily as you let your hair loose from its ponytail, "just two more terms left till we graduate!"

"it also means we're five months away from newts." blaise reminded as you walked to the great hall for dinner.

"way to ruin the mood you bellend." you punched the side of the boy's arm jokingly.

"hello losers!" pansy joined the trio, coming from her herbology lesson.

she linked her arms with yours and you sat in your usual seats on the slytherin table.

"are yous excited to go back for christmas?" blaise asked.

"i know i am, mum's been to paris to buy pierre and i presents," pansy sipped from her goblet.

"father's been on my arse about newts next year, i'm definitely not looking forward to seeing him," draco grimaced at the thought of his father.

"what about you y/n?" blaise directed his question to you, causing draco and pansy to look at you with curious eyes.

"uh...yea i'm excited," you gave a tight-lipped smile to their prying faces and they seemed to have been satisfied with your reply.

professor dumbledore repeated the same speech he would say every year before the christmas holidays and dismissed you back to your rooms.

the four of you returned to the slytherin common room and sat on the leather sofas, chatting about nonsense.

you bid goodnight to draco with a kiss on the lips and you and pansy returned to your dorm.

"hi girls," daphne greeted as she walked into the room not long after, millicent behind her.

the three other girls were frantically stuffing their belongings into the trunk, knickers and bras flying across the room, 'are these mine?'s and 'no i think they're yours' being spoken.

you laid against your headboard, a muggle book in your hands while you sat with your legs stretched out, feet crossing at the end.

"why aren't you packing your things y/n?" pansy questioned with a frown on her face.

"oh, i got sent a letter last week. mum said her and dad are visiting family in greenland and i can't go. i'm staying here for the holidays." you peered up from your book.

"oh. i'm sorry." the girl's face softened, millicent and daphne giving you sorry looks as well.

the three slytherins squished onto your bed, crowding around you.

"i demand a group hug!" daphne was the first to wrap her arms around you and the other two girls followed suit.

"it's quite alright y'aknow, i'll be fine. i can get a bit of studying in and the library will be quiet for once." you tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle.

"does draco know?" pansy asked.

"no," you shook your head, "you know what that bloke's like. if he found out i was staying, he would too. and i can't be the reason he doesn't spend christmas with his family, i'd feel terrible. don't tell him about it, please?"

"we won't," pansy assured with a pat on your shoulder, all of them nodding their heads.

they returned to packing their things and you soon tucked yourselves into bed for the night.

you unknowingly woke up a few hours later, unable to fall back asleep. you reached for your wristwatch on your nightstand and saw that it was nearly half past five. you decided there was no point in trying to go back to sleep and swung your legs over your bed.

you ran your hands over face and tip-toed to the bathroom.

you took a warm shower and prepared for the day. you dried your hair with a spell and stepped out back into the room.

by then the other three girls were starting to stir awake, hoping to catch the first train back to king's cross.

with your book in your hands, you trudged down the dormitory steps into the common room and nestled yourself on the cushions.

as the morning progressed, slytherin students walked past you and out of the dungeon's entrance.

a familiar patch of blonde hair walked down the boy's dorms steps from the corner of your eye and you set your book down.

"good morning sweetheart," draco kissed the crown of your head as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

he set his trunk down and combed your hair with his hands, "where's your trunk?"

"er, i'm taking the later train," you chewed on the inside of your cheek and looked everywhere except your boyfriend's eyes.

"do you want me to take it with you? i'm apparating home anyway so it wouldn't be much of a bother."

"no!" you quickly shooked your head, draco jumped slightly at the raising of your voice.

"sorry. i mean no, it's alright. ride with pansy and blaise. i'll be fine, really." you assured while resting your hand on his cheek.

"are you sure?"

"i'm positive." you pecked him on the lips.

"you lot ready?" blaise asked with pansy next to him.

"i am, y/n's taking the later train." draco informed.

"i'm gonna miss you," pansy embraced you tightly, which you proceeded to tell her that you would to.

"you sure you'll be alright?" she whispered so only you could hear.

"i will pans, i promise." you whispered back.

"c'mere y/n," blaise opened his arms so you could hug him.

blaise was a huge hugger, he loved to give and recieve them. the hug lasted rather long and he squished you even more.

"hand on bum. zabini your bum's touching my hand!" you wiggled out of his grasp and scrunched your face in disgust, wiping your hand on draco.

"i'll write to you everyday and we can meet on christmas eve?" draco suggested.

"i don't know if i'll be able to too, but i'll try," you pouted and draco kissed it away, "i love you."

"i love you more." he picked up his trunk and the three slytherins left the common room, pansy flashing you a comforting smile before she slipped out.

you sighed and returned to your spot on the sofa, kicking your feet on the coffee table, and continued reading your book.

it was soon breakfast time and you returned to your dorm to return your book. you slipped on a slytherin green jumper and tied your hair up. you pinned your head girl badge on the collar of shirt since robes were not a must.

the uniform dress code during the holidays was more laxed than usual. as long as you wore something school-related, it was allowed.

you made your way to the great hall and immediately noticed the shift in the atmosphere from most mornings.

the usual chatters from the various house tables were now gone and barely ten students combined were scattered around the room.

you sat by the slytherin tables, across from a first year.

"good morning christian." you greeted to the boy buttering his toast.

"g-good morning ms y/l/n." he stuttered.

"christian, i've already told you, you can just call me y/n." you smiled and reached forward to ruffle his hair, finding the fact that the boy was clearly initmidated by the head girl rather amusing.

"yes y/n," he nodded and took a bite out of his toast.

you and him conversed in small talk, answering all of christian's questions about hogwarts. he shared how he too, hoped to be a prefect when he reached his fifth year.

you soon felt a weight rest on the top of your head and a kiss was pressed to it. christian's eyes widened at the figure behind you.

you quickly turned your body around and was met with none other than the likes of draco malfoy.

"draco?" you exclaimed as he dropped onto the bench next to you.

christian's posture immediately straightened at the sight of the strict head boy.

"w-what are you doing here?" your brows came to a furrow.

"babe, i've known you for ages. i think i can tell when you're lying. you're usually ecstatic to go home, but you've been in the downs all week. why didn't you just tell me you were staying?"

"because you'd just want to stay back with me and you'll miss christmas with your parents," you explained.

"as if i'd ever let you spend christmas alone. no way y/l/n. you're stuck with me this year." he wrapped a hand around your waist and pulled you closer to him.

"i adore you so much." you simpered as draco hummed in reply.

"good morning mr malfoy," christian greeted.

"morning bole," draco replied, placing a fried egg on his plate.

the previously chatty christian was now silent as he scranned his food and quickly scrambled out the great hall after waving a small goodbye to you.

"all the lower years are beyond terrified of you," you raised your brow.

"that's how discipline works no? i'm head boy, they have to be afraid of me. you on the other hand, my head girl, are way too nice to them."

"well, i think we make a perfect balance. and i would much prefer to chat up with them than have them duck behind corridors just to avoid me." you tapped the tip of draco's nose.

he scrunched it up and swatted your hand away, both of you finishing your breakfast.

you and draco were one of the last few students to leave the great hall.

"are you sure you want to stay? you still have time to catch the last train back." you squeezed draco's hand which you were holding and asked for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"y/n, my love, don't get me wrong i love you, but if you ask me that one more time i just might have to jinx you," draco joked.

"right, sorry. i just don't want you to regret it."

"hey," he lifted your chin with his hand to look at him, "i would never regret spending christmas with the girl i love most in the whole world."

you decided there was no point persuading your persistent boyfriend and thought you should just enjoy the extra time you got to spend with him.

"godric, you make me heart turn mushy," you blushed, "what'd you want to do then?"

"i figured we could go back to the common room and read a book by the fire." draco answered after pondering for a moment.

"sounds perfect." you beamed.

draco sat on a leather armchair in the common room.

"i'll be right back," you skipped up the steps to your dorm, grabbing your book off the dresser you had place it on earlier that morning and walked back down the steps.

you settled yourself comfortably on draco's lap with the side of your body pressed up to him and your head resting on his chest.

"jane eyre?" draco asked looking at the worn out cover of the paperback.

"i just started this morning, so you won't miss much of the plot."

the two of you spent the rest of the morning snuggling up by the warm fire, your noses stuck in the classic english novel.

it was now lunch time and you got up from draco's lap, stretching your arms out, placing the book on the coffee table.

"come on then, i fancy a cup of warm tea and some chicken," you pulled draco onto his feet.

you hugged draco's left arm and the two of you walked through hogwarts to the entrance hall.

"d'know, there's a unknown saying that the head girl and head boy of each year end up falling in love and getting married when they graudate?" you looked up to draco.

"now where'd you heard that from?"

"potter's parents, they were head boy and girl. percy weasley and clearwater, they got married last year." you pointed out.

"well i am awfully sorry to tell you that i fell in love with you since i first laid eyes on you in first year."

"i know that...i dunno it's just a silly saying." you leaned your head against the tall boy's arm.

there were more students in the great hall than during lunch, and you and draco decided to sit at the hufflepuff table with your friend, and fellow prefect, ernie macmillan.

"ah, my favourite hogwarts couple." ernie smiled at you and draco.

"you flatter us too much ernie," you shook your head with a chuckle and slid onto the bench across the hufflepuff.

"the whole school worships you two, i've seen first years purposefully try and get detention just to spend time with the both of you."

"their head boy's giving them out left and right so i don't see why they'd have to try." you nodded your head to draco next to you.

"it's called-"

"showing authority and establishing discipline," you and ernie finished his sentence simultaneously.

it was something draco would end off every prefects meeting with.

"there ya go! i told you it would catch on!" draco grinned and the three finished up their lunches.

you waved goodbye to the blonde boy and he returned to his common room by the kitchens.

"y/n!" you heard someone call for you and you saw christian at the end of the halls.

he jogged up to you with a toothy grin, you let go of draco's hand and met him in the middle.

"hello christian, did you need anything?"

"i was hoping to try out for the quidditch team and i was wondering if you had any advice."

"oh, well as much as i loved to help, i can't seem to ride a broom for my dear life."

"oh." the boy's face fell.

"but i'm sure the slytherin captain would be more than happy to help," you pointed behind you to draco, who was staring intently at one of the portraits on the wall.

"u-uh it's alright then," christian declined the offer.

"head boy'd be honoured to give you some mentoring christian, he seems strict but i promise you he's a really nice lad."

"well you have to say that, he's your boyfriend!"

you had to bite back to laugh that threatened to escape, "just ask him nicely, i'm sure he'll say yes."

"if you say so..."

christian nervously walked up to draco, fidgeting with the hem of his school robes.

"mr malfoy?"

draco peeled his eyes from the portrait to the little boy.

draco's piercing blue eyes stared into christian and the boy gulped.

"i-i i wanted to try out for the quidditch team, and i-i was hoping you'd give me some advice so i make it."

draco looked over christian's shoulder to see your pleading puppy dog eyes, knowing your boyfriend adored you too sickeningly much to ever say no to you.

the blonde head boy let out a sigh, "do you know how to ride a broom?"

"yes, my brother lucian taught me."

"your brother was a brilliant player. quite a tough name to live up to. you good as him?"

"h-he's marvelous on the pitch, i'd never play as well as him."

"first rule about quidditch, never doubt your abilities. lacking confidence is a weakness that your opponent will use against you." draco started walking towards the entrance to the quidditch pitch.

"so you'll help me?" christian looked up with hopeful eyes.

"walk and talk bole, walk and talk."

chrisitan squealed gleefully as he ran to catch up to draco's long strides.

draco looked over his shoulder to see you following after the two boys.

"thank you," you mouthed to him.

"only because i love you," he mouthed back.

draco unlocked the equipment room door with a charm and pulled out his broom, handing christian an old broom from a few years ago.

the captain did not quite trust the first year with the nimbus 3000s, that his father had bought the team, just yet.

with a peck on your forehead, draco left you to the stands while him and christian stood by the fieldlines.

you watched as draco explained different moves to the young boy and soon enough they were in the air.

when lucian got a taste of the large pitch, draco flew back to the ground and released the quaffle into the air.

christian attempted to get it into the hoops, draco defending it.

the younger bole looked like he was about to give up when you cheered him on from where you were sat.

that seemed to have given him a boost in confidence and the quaffle flew past draco and into the hoop.

"atta boy!" you cupped your hands over you mouth.

lucian and draco met you by the slytherin changing room tent.

"keep up the standard and you just might earn yourself a spot as our newest chaser," draco clapped christian's shoulder.

"thank you mr malfoy." he thanked gratefully.

"draco. you can call me draco."

"t-thank you draco," christian tried to contain his excitement from the acceptance of his head boy, he was sure to write to all his friends to boast about it, "a-and thank you y/n". he then ran off back into the castle.

"you've gone all soft on him, my sweet." you said in sing-song voice as you helped him lock the equipment back in the room.

"he's a good player, with more training he might play even better than me." draco shook his head and walked over to you to place his hands on your waist.

"you're sweaty," your face contoured in disgust.

"that'd be a fantastic reason to pay a visit to the prefects bathroom." draco said with a smirk, his hands lower to give your bum a squeeze.

you practically dragged draco through the castle, up the marble staircase to the fifth floor.

"pine-fresh," you said the password and entered with draco behind you.

"as much as you look dashingly handsome in what you're wearing now, you'd look even better with them on the floor." you bit your lip teasingly while turning the tap to the tub on.

draco flicked his wand around you and your clothes were immediately stripped off your body and folded neatly on the floor, you left in only your shoes and your underwear.

"i could say the same about you," he replied.

you kicked off your trainers and peeled your socks off.

draco admired your body from afar, mouth drooling.

"clothes off malfoy," you instructed and he did as told.

he shook off his trousers and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving him in just his pants.

you were about to reach behind to unclip your bra when draco pulled your hands away.

"that's my job," he frowned and stared at your chest as they were released from the piece of fabric.

draco licked his lips, "eyes up here pretty boy," you grabbed draco's chin and pulled him in for a kiss, both of you removing the last of your undergarments in the process.

you were the first to step into the warm water, draco following after you.

your tense muscles relaxed and you leaned against the edge of the pool-like bath, draco next to you.

your eyes were closed as your let out a relieved breath you did not know you were holding in.

draco stared at you with heart eyes, his heart swelling.

"have i ever told you just how much i love you?" draco asked, causing you to open your eyes to look at him.

"every waking moment of every day." you leaned you head forward and draco attached his lips to yours, you smiling into the kiss.

draco pulled your legs over his so you straddled him and he deepend the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth.

your hands instinctively gripped onto the back of his head, pulling at the hairs on his neck. your other hand was on his jaw, cupping it.

with the hands on your waist, draco lifted you up slightly to fill you up.

you gasped against his lips and let out a small whimper.

"y-you can move now," you whispered and reattached your lips to his.

you threw your head back in pleasure when you reached your climax, draco finishing not long after.

your rest your forehead on draco's shoulder, catching your breath.

"you, draco malfoy, are absolutely captivating." you breathed out, lifting your head from his shoulder.

"i thank salazar every day that you're mine." he peppered kisses all over your face.

"all yours," you smiled sweetly.

you and draco took turns to shampoo each others hair. with a wave of your wands to 'scourgify' your clothes clean, you and draco put your clothes back on.

you did not forget to place a cleaning charm on the tub as well.

by now it was dinner time and the both of you walked back down the marble staircase to the great hall.

anthony goldstein, the seventh year ravenclaw prefect called you two over to the ravenclaw table, ernie already sitting next to him.

"hello anth, ernie," you greeted.

"not spending christmas at home goldstein?" draco asked.

"my mum and dad went to bora bora for their anniversary and i wanted nothing to do with that." anthony chuckled, not wanting to even think about what his parents were possibly doing right now.

you and draco decided it was a good time to discuss with the two prefects your plans for the new term, and took their feedback for any measures that needed amending while having dinner.

as much as you and draco liked to play silly buggers, the two of you took your appointments extremely seriously. your upmost importance, other than each other's, was the welfare of your students.

under your leaderships, fewer students stayed out past curfew and lesser students were written up for detentions.

you realised that other than being strict, you also needed to communicate well with the students body. that was why you and draco were the perfect pair.

anthony mentioned that the ravenclaw students were in need of new chairs in their common room and you made a mental note to bring it up to professor dumbledore when school were to begin again.

"i am exhausted," you slumped onto the leather sofa in the slytherin common room.

"you should sleep early tonight, it is christmas tomorrow afterall." draco pushed your head to rest on his shoulder as you stared at the decorated christmas tree.

"but i want to stay here with you, you're very lovely to snuggle with," your voice muffled by draco's clothes, your knees pulled to your chest.

"you can have my jumper?" he offered.

"yes please," your eyes glistened.

draco pulled his jumper over his lean body and passed it, as well as your book from arlier that morning, to you as he walked you to the stairwell to the girl dorms.

"goodnight my beautiful girl," draco caressed your cheek with the back of your hand.

even after so long, draco still managed to make your stomach erupt in butterflies. he was the only one to ever make you blush.

"goodnight baby boy," you tiptoed to place a kiss on his lips, "i love you," you mumbled against them after pulling away.

"i know," draco grinned cheekily and you rolled your eyes, making your way back to your dorm.

you woke up on christmas day to a knocking on your dorm door.

you forced yourself out of bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, turning the bronze doorknob.

"sorry to bother you y/n, headboy had me call you down to the common room," a third year informed.

"no need to apologise cassandra, i'm sorry draco had bothered you. please let him know i'll be down soon," you smiled courteously.

"i will, happy christmas!"

"happy christmas!" you closed the door once you saw cassandra walk down the steps.

you got ready for the day and decided that you would stay in your christmas pyjamas and throw draco's quidditch jumper he had lent you yesterday.

and so with your red father christmas patterned bottoms and fluffy slippers, you ran down the steps to see draco sitting on the floor by the tree.

"happy christmas my sweet boy," you opened your arms inviting draco to a hug.

he picked himself off the floor and spun you around, placing a kiss on the top of your head, "happy christmas my love."

"your presents are under the tree," you pulled draco to sit and he placed you on his lap, your back against his chest.

"it's a star map of the constellations on the very day that we met," you explained when draco peeled the wrapping paper.

draco thanked you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder.

the second gift was a picture of you. it may have seemed a little odd, but draco had requested colin give him the picture the fourth year took of you. but colin had given it to you instead just last week after you bumped into the gryffindor in the corridors.

the last present was a rather expensive one. you had saved up all your pocket money for the year just to purchase it.

it was a nimbus 3001. you had seen an advertisement for it earlier in the year in witch weekly, announcing that the sales of it would start in november.

"y/n," draco looked at you sternly, "this must've cost a fortune."

"it was nothing," you smiled sheepishly at him.

"my father could've gotten me one, you didn't have to."

"i know, but i wanted to be the one to buy it. that way you'd always have a piece of me whenever you're on the pitch."

"i always have a piece of you with me," draco reached for you hand and placed it over his heart, "in here."

"oh merlin," you buried your face in the crook of his neck, hiding your blush.

"thank you for the presents my princess," draco pecked your lips, "i wasn't expecting to celebrate christmas here so your gift's at the manor. i'm sorry."

"no no, it's okay. having you with me, right here, right now, is the best christmas gift a girl could ever receive." you combed your hands through his hair.

"what did i do to deserve someone like you?" draco tucked a stray hair behind your ear.

"you were you draco. i fell in love with all of you." you kissed the side of his mouth, "let's get to the great hall, they're serving a full english today."

as you were walking out the great hall after breakfast, you noticed a blanket of snow that had encompassed the courtyard.

"draco! babe! it's snowing!" you ran out into the courtyard to pick it up, "look!" you showed it to your blonde boyfriend proudly.

worried you would catch a cold, he charmed you a thicker coat and proper shoes. he then did the same for himself.

you ran further into the courtyard and started forming a large ball, "i'm making a snowperson! help me?"

draco crouched down and formed a medium-sized ball.

soon enough your snow person was finished. it had stone eyes and a crooked smile, a blade of grass for its nose.

when draco was busy fixing its face, you sneakily formed a small snowball and threw it at him.

"y/n y/l/n!" draco gasped, "it is on."

draco smirked as he packed snow into his hands and threw it at you, hitting you right in the face.

draco's eyes widened at the sight of the flakes of snow on your face, your reddened cheeks, and teary eyes. a visible pout to go with the frowning of your brows.

"my baby, i'm so sorry," draco ran up to you and was about to comfort you when his eyes changed from worry to horror when he saw the mischievous grin on your face.

before he could react, a snowball you had conjured with wandless magic hit him in the back.

you quickly ducked behind the snowman forming more snowballs and throwing them at draco.

soon enough the two of you were in a fit of giggles, draco hovering over you.

"achoo," you sneezed, scrunching your red nose.

"let's get you warmed up," draco helped your shivering body up and he cast a warming charm on your body.

draco kept you close to his body as you made the walk to the dungeons.

the common room was littered with five or more students, ranging different ages but a majority were lower years.

"i'll be right back," you pecked draco on the lip as you hurried up to your dorm and came back down with a paper bag.

when your mum had written to you to tell you you were to stay at hogwarts during christmas, you had went to hogsmeade over the weekend to purchase a few small gifts for the rest of the students staying as well.

you felt awful that these students had to spend the holidays away from their families and thought that you would try and add some festive cheer to their day.

"happy christmas cassandra!" you smiled at the third year as you handed her the bag of sweets.

the bag was filled with chocolate frogs, bertie bott's every flavour beans, liquorice wands, cauldron cakes, jelly slugs, and practically every treat they sold at the sweets shop in hogsmeade.

you also had handwritten individual cards on the inside.

"merlin! thank you y/n! you're the best head girl and my favourite prefect ever!" she grinned, looking through the clear bag of sweets.

"your welcome cassandra," you chuckled at the excited girl.

"but shh, don't let headboy know i'm your favourite prefect, he might throw a jealous hissy fit later." you pointed to draco who was sitting on the sofa.

"don't worry, it'll be our little secret." cassandra giggled.

draco noticed that the two of you were looking in his direction and squinted his eyes at you two.

"are the two of you chatting shit?" he eyed.

"nope!" you and cassandra smiled sheepishly.

by the time you finished giving out the presents, it was midday and you had christmas lunch in the great hall. dumbledore announced that the christmas feast was to commence at half-past five.

you and draco spent the afternoon with cups of hot chocolate you had gotten from the kitchens and sat by a table in the common room, planning and discussing prefect related things.

dumbledore had also informed the students that they were required to be in formal clothes during the christmas dinner.

and so you walked down the dorm steps dressed in a black minidress that hugged your curves perfectly. you had used beauty charms on your face and hair to doll yourself up. you also had on a pair of black strappy heels.

"you look beautiful," draco kisses the top of your head.

"as do you," you straightened the tie of his full black suit.

the house tables had been pushed to the side of the wall and there was a round table in the great hall that fit 12, just enough for all the students that had stayed for the christmas holidays. 12 grand christmas trees lined the room, decorated in various red, green, blue, and yellow baubles.

you sat in between draco and ernie, conversing in small talk.

it was time to open the christmas crackers and you cross your arms, each hand holding onto one cracker.

"3...2...1..." the table counted down together.

you tugged on the crackers and were left with the ends of both.

"we'll that's a stinker," you groaned, draco waving the two christmas crackers in his hands in your face.

draco ended up giving you one of his and you put the green paper crown on.

with a wave of professor dumbledore's wand, a large roast turkey landed on the middle of the table, smaller plates of potatoes, chipolatas, greens, and yorkshire puddings.

when dinner plates had been cleared, pudding was served. you dropped the sickles you had found hidden within the pudding into draco's jacket pocket.

you hugged ernie goodnight, wishing him a happy christmas.

draco suggested that the two of you could walk around the castle for a bit before going back to the common room and you agreed.

you somehow found yourself by the doors of the astronomy tower.

"alohomora" draco waved his wand and the door clicked open.

"draco!" you gasped at the boy.

"well, you can't really give head boy detention now can you?" he smirked, "come on then love, up you go."

you pushed the door open further to let yourself in and your heels clicked against thestone tiles of the staircase.

the two of you reached the top of the tower and you stared in awe at the night sky.

you gripped onto the railings of the balcony, leaning forward slightly as you tried to recall your astronomy lessons from fourth year.

a cold gust of wind blew past you and you felt a shiver down your spine, goosebumps forming over your body.

you felt a kiss on the back of your shoulder and a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

"you cold?"

you nodded your head with a small hum and felt draco pull away from you.

he then pulled his coat over your shoulders and you slipped your arms into the sleeves to put it on proper.

from the corner of your eye, you saw something flash in the sky.

"it's a shooting star!" you cheered, "baby look!" you turned to the side in search of your blonde boyfriend but he was not there.

"babe?" you turned your body around fully and saw draco on one knee, holding a ring box in his hand.

"draco i-"

"y/n y/l/n, i never knew love till you opened your heart to me. i've always fancied you, even since we were first years, i always thought it was a silly crush that i'd get over but the more i got to know you, i found myself falling deeper in love with you. it feels as if our souls are intwertwined, and i can never see myself with anybody else. it has always been and always be you. i know we've still got a whole life ahead of us to live, but i don't wish to live it if it isn't right by your side. and so y/n y/l/n, will you do me the absolutely honour of making me the luckiest and most blessed man in the universe and marry me?"

"oh you soppy twat," you wiped the tears off your face with the back of your hand, fanning your face i hopes of drying your eyes, "y-yes, yes i'll marry you."

you stuck your hand out for draco to slip the glittering diamond ring on.

"d'you like it?" draco got up from his knees and pulled you to his chest.

"i...i love it..." you managed to stutter out through your cries.

you reached up to cup draco's cheek, wiping the stray tear on his cheek.

you chuckled at the fact that the two of you were now just crying messes.

"we look bloody stupid right now," draco sniffed, looking up in hopes to stop the tears.

"if it means i get to spend the rest of my life with you, i couldn't care less." you mumbled against draco's lips and smiled into the kiss.

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[21stcenturyyfoxx]

Part two of story linked above!

“Root of elderflower, pickled toad legs —” the voice drawled on as his eyes scanned the inventory before him, pads of fingers ghosting the bottles; inspecting every inch of his storeroom.

“Professor, you should really rest. I can take it from here, surely.” You pressured, the man had still not taken his ailment seriously even as he adorn the breathing bubble placed on him after the ‘what wasn’t powdered elderflower’ incident.

“Ms. Y/L/N. I assure you if I require your assistance I will certainly call on you. For the time being I would go sit down and finish marks if I were you.” He spoke out as he turned his head towards you, a snarl placed upon his pout.

The twisting of guilt; a hot blade formed on his tongue slicing your insides into shrivels of former confidence.

Ever since the explosion in the potions room that day you had taken extra caution with Snape; not getting over zealous and most certainly paying the upmost attention to labels and what he called out to you. No more Daily Prophets to be read.

A sigh escaped through your nose as you retreated into the classroom, sliding into his teaching chair and magically summoning the papers so that they lay neatly before you.

With a quill in hand you began marking the second year essays on why Powdered Foxtail is highly combustible when mistaken for Elderflower.

Damn him to hell.

You felt heat on your face and wondered if it was embarrassment or the after effects of a near death experience.

Snape had wandered into the room holding two bottles of powdered substance. His eyes glinting with an expression you couldn’t read, his face didn’t give any indication of his scheme.

“Ms. Y/L/N, when you are finished I would like you to come sit here in the students chair and we shall have a little… quiz.” He smirked before turning on his heel and placing the bottles down on a students desk.

—-

After a while you had finished marking essays, your hand had cramped a few times in the process; your body automatically stretching itself out as you stood.

Walking over to Snape you eyed the bottles then turned to eye him.

He was hunched over a cauldron, tongue barely peeking through his thin lips; scribbling something down on parchment.

He looked most at home when he was brewing, quite focused and rather handsome from the soft glow of fire.

You had taken notice that he had shedded his frock coat, now he stood with a crisp linen shirt that went to clasp a tad too snug halfway over his outstretched palms; his vest secured around his middle and his cravat still hung around his neck, even while basically undressed in Snape standards he was still covered to the brim.

“Ms. Y/L/N..” he began, a lump formed in your throat; you feared you had been caught ogling the instructor. You steadied yourself for what he might say next.

“I want you to open those bottles before you and carefully inhale the aroma. Very carefully, lest we find ourselves back in the infirmary — and I could very easily find something better to do with my time than that of spending the entire night waiting for you to rouse from an incapacitated state.” He chided as he moved to stand behind you, watching your movements of opening each bottle.

“I want you to identify the scents. Tell me what they are and use for them, do you think you are capable?”

You could feel how close he was to you, almost suffocating.

“Yes.. I am.”

“Good.“ he surmised as he valiantly watched you, careful to take note if you had passed out as he would be the one to brace your fall.

You took a small intake of one of the contents, noting a woodsy scent mixed with rose and pine — a mutation.

“This one is Complexus Elderflora, also known as Complex Elderflower, it is known to treat insomnia and depression if ingested in things such as tea.”

You reached for the other bottle and carefully appraised it; another woodsy scent, soft notes of cinnamon and honeysuckle swam together beautifully.

“And this here is Vulpescauda or more commonly known as Foxtail.”

“And it’s uses?” He spoke mere inches from your ear.

“Foxtail is believed to heal wounds, almost in replacement of Dittany. It is said to also be used in love potions as an aphrodisiac to mend broken hearts — only when ingested, of course. The healing properties of wounds is strictly topical and on occasion sub dermal though.“ You spoke.

Silence befell the room, heat from his body radiating over your back; he was unmoving.

“Now you know the difference between Powdered Elderflower and Foxtail, Ms. Y/L/N. Let’s not have any more.. explosions, hm?” He said as he reached around grabbing the now closed bottles, his free hand gently resting on top of your arm, just at the elbow.

This indeed was going to be a time with him.

Especially now that you felt the current of electricity — of magic, that flourished through your system at the minuscule touch he provided.

[lxvestxned]

y/n is massively afraid of toads, but tries to at least touch trevor for the first time with the graceful help of her best friend neville. while also in complete denial about the feelings they are starting to have for neville. fluff + gender neutral reader! 2500 words.

side note: please don’t make fun of me if i got toad-logic wrong in this one — the fear is real bro. LMAO.

Neville talks about Trevor nearly the same way one might talk about a younger brother. Mildly annoying, but also so very important to the point that he could not even remember his life before him.

Trevor couldn’t be a better gardening pal for him, save for when he disappears while Neville is deepest in concentration with his plants. He always entertains Neville’s miniature hat creations, sitting still and proper while Neville has a good laugh.

I could not be happier about his connection to Trevor. I haven’t brought it up to him yet, but Trevor seemed to be an important figure of worthiness to Neville. I also had to appreciate that Neville had the company of a pet in his quiet house on breaks.

I only wish I would have wised up and got on better with the toad.

Amphibians and reptiles are a bit of a sore spot. To put it gently, they are a thing of nightmares to touch or even to look at. Trevor’s skin was bumpy, coarse, and loose looking. Eyes bulging, dark, and unblinkingly horrifying.

Was his skin rough? Was he heavy? Was he slimy? Oh god, and what would his bones feels like? Could Neville feel him breathing in his hands?

My stomach swam to my throat with every thought. However, the guilt from my fear of Neville’s beloved pet made me feel much worse.

I can’t help recalling from years ago, the way I once jumped a foot away from Neville’s attempt at a lighthearted pat on my shoulder. Simply because I was hyper aware that he had held Trevor in that same hand not even five seconds before.

Neville recoiled too, shock washing off his features only while I frantically showered him in embarrassed apologies. He then promptly washed his hands for a full two minutes to make me feel better. The memory was one of those that frequently replayed in my head when I laid in bed trying my best to sleep over the wailing thoughts of regret.

In place of physical adoration for the toad, I bombarded Neville with questions about him any time they struck me. Each was gratefully met with a patient and particularly-amused response from the proud toad owner.

“Trevor is bumpy and all, he sort of feels like really extreme goose pimples— no, acne.” Neville spoke while lovingly stroking his pointer finger down Trevor’s back in the Gryffindor common room.

“He isn’t heavy at all actually. One time I had him in my hand, looked away for a moment, and when I looked back he was gone. I didn’t even realize.” He whispered to me, just as Professor Binns rambled back toward their side of the classroom.

“Trevor’s not slimy!” He said whilst playfully pointing the prongs of his accusatory fork at me, “you’re thinking of frogs! And even then, I’ve read that they only look it and don’t feel it.”

“I don’t know what his bones feel like?!” Neville laughed incredulously, “seriously, where do you come up with these questions?”

Turned out my latest inquiry was the one that lead me to my doom.

The clump of red, yellow, green, and blue students travelled up the snow-white hill, returning from a full and chilly Magical Creatures lesson. I walked alongside Neville on the trek, body automatically crawling with shivers on the thought of toads once again.

“When you’re holding him, can you feel him breathing?”

Neville let out a huff of laughter between pants for air against the hill’s incline. “I suppose so, I mostly notice his heart beat normally.”

“His heartbeat?!” My gloved hands squeezed into tight fists to resist my overreactive imagination from taking over. The ghost of a toad pumping it’s lungs and beating it’s heart in my palms was enough to make me visibly cringe— which I was determined to suppress at all costs.

Hermione, who was a bit ahead of us, slowed to join our pace, “Yes, Y/N, toads have hearts too, y’know.” She said.

“You’re joking!” I announced sarcastically.

“Why don’t you just hold Trevor once, then you’ll have all the answers you need?” Hermione laughed.

“I’ve asked her and she doesn’t want to.” Neville said.

“I do want to!” I sighed, “I just can’t.”

“Yeah, she said she can’t.” Neville reiterated.

“And why not?” If Hermione was anything, she was a problem solver. And I was suddenly determined to prove that I did, in fact, have a plan of action.

“I’m scared,” I said, “but, I figured if I could gather enough information about what exactly to expect... then, maybe I could do it eventually.”

Neville finally lifted his gaze away from the trail at our feet to smile at me. His smile was open-mouthed almost like he had words on the tip of his tongue ready to fall out. But, Hermione spoke up again.

“Honestly, it’s not as bad as you might think. I think you may even be over thinking all of this. Holding Trevor is almost like... like a leather pouch.”

I muttered, “sure, a living, breathing, beloved leather pouch.”

“You should probably try touching him first before you start carrying him around,” Hermione said right as we reached the plateau level with the archway back into castle walls.

Neville and I hung by the archway like we usually do, recapturing our breaths through the rigid air. I did not expect Hermione to stand with us, allowing Ron and Harry to be carried away with the crowd entering the hall.

Her determination loomed over the silence and I felt the need to accept that solution. After all, Hermione was bound to have another seven loaded up and ready to be dispensed. And not to mention, Neville’s eyes had an unwavering sort of gleam in them that I could not quite put a finger on.

I was suddenly and weirdly diagonal with one palm against the brick arch, the other on my hip, and the toe of my boot scuffing the snow. “I could probably do that,” I had to wonder whether I was at all convincing.

“I can help you,” Neville peered into my soul, to which I decided the gleam was, at the least, highly influential.

I gulped, “yeah, I can do it.”

— — —

There Trevor was, 15 centimeters of pure, mind-numbing terror.

I felt like I had only blinked since we were standing out in the pure white snow. Except, Hermione, Neville, and I were very much in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. Comfortable in my casual change of clothes after dinner, but also filled to the brim with dread as the reds of the room edged in my vision.

“Are you ready?” Hermione smiled as encouragingly as she could.

I finally tore my eyes away from the toad perched on the couch’s arm that Neville was half-blocking with his body.

“Yeah, of course! It’s not that serious!” I gave my best snarky smirk, as if I hadn’t just gnawed a small tear into my bottom lip.

I didn’t want to refuse Hermione the opportunity to be a part of her own solution to the problem that wasn’t hers. But, then again, I wish I did only for the sake of privacy.

Hermione’s presence was a bit heavy to endure. She conjured a very deep desire to prove myself a good friend to Neville with her eyes alone. Which meant false bravery was all I could manage to show at the moment. True feelings buried not-so-deep below that crumbling surface.

“You can do it, Y/N, don’t think.” Hermione relayed that unhelpful bit of information atleast a hundred times within the span of the last fifteen minutes. Although, I did entertain it every time.

With the sudden distraction of Neville turning to pick up his pet, I managed to squeeze a “Thank you, Hermione! I got it!” through the corner of my lips.

Unfortunately, every statement of bravery was like a mating call when among Gryffindors. I could feel sets of interested eyes triple upon our little gathering without even lifting my head. In fact, I was almost positive that Dean had made his way from across the room to lean over the couch cushions from behind.

I wasn’t ready for Neville to stand from his spot on the couch, nor was I ready for him settle down in a kneel in front of me. I could’ve forgotten Trevor entirely with the way I was focused in on Neville’s face. He hadn’t looked one bit nervous, which was a rare and reassuring sight. I had to smile at the thought that, for once, I was the one emitting enough nervous energy for the both of us.

He was pretty quiet up until that point, so his voice made my breath quicken as finality closed in around me. “I’m going to help you, alright?”

That was it, no going back. My face felt as though it was glowing redder than the room. The fluttering in my stomach clashed awfully against the dread that was already shacked up there. I clenched my jaw tight, trying desperately for a look of certainty as I nodded.

Trevor sat comfortably still between Neville’s palms, face nearly pressed into Neville’s chest. I almost wanted to joke that it looked like I was about to be proposed to with the arse of a toad, but Neville brought some humor of his own.

A mischievous grin crept over his lips first, “and you can wash your hands right after.”

I grinned despite the huff of sorrowful air that escaped me. The horrid memory filled me with a brand new sense of urgency to right my wrongs. I held him by his shoulders, “I’m really, really, really sorry about that!”

Neville almost bent forward in hearty laughter, until he realized that he shouldn’t bring Trevor any closer. “No, I know, I know! I was trying to lighten the air.” He shook his head gently, “Come on now.”

I scooted forward in my seat to plant my feet flat on the carpet, fists already balled up tight. “Yeah, come on now,” I echoed, perfectly-thoughtless, as Hermione instructed.

“I’m going to hold him right here, and he’s not going to move. All you have to do is put your fingertips on mine, okay?” Neville instructed so gently that I was ironically totally overwhelmed.

I took the look around the room that I was avoiding, and sure enough, Gryffindors were gawking from every angle. Hermione nodded and Dean was smiling extra wide.

I couldn’t find words. Instead a single shaky hand of mine unwound itself and reached forward. It very unhelpfully occurred to me at that second that I had never even touched Neville’s hands before. And you know what, it shouldn’t be strange to admit your best friend has nice hands. Because he does. Not helpful information, but definitely information.

I was almost worried that my aim was so shaky that I would miss his nails altogether and jab Trevor.

But before I knew it, I was touching the hand that was touching Trevor. Which, of course, reintroduced the smile to my face when reminded of Neville’s joke.

“Yes! Now, I’m just going to pet Trevor, and you can keep your fingers on mine until you’re ready, alright?”

I was too nervous to move my gaze from Trevor any more, but I presumed from the cheer in Neville’s voice that he was smiling hard.

He slowly moved his fingertips to the top of Trevor’s head, and I had to press harder to keep from slipping astray. Then, Neville did exactly as he explained.

My upper lip began to furl up as my imagination ran buck wild in my mind. The worst of all textures invaded my senses and made me want to cringe out of existence. My eyes squinted at the seemingly violent breathing and heart beating that bumped against his warty surface. Our fingertips stroked down his back so many times that my movements felt robotic.

It was automatic enough to break my stare away from it when Neville called my name, “are you breathing?”

I blinked a few times, and let in a gasp of air that I hadn’t even realized I needed. “Apparently, not.” I laughed, surprised by my hushed volume.

“Merlin, so much suspense for this?” a Gryffindor near the windows was met with a brief glare from Neville, but he concentrated on me.

“Why don’t you take a big breath, and then try putting your fingers in front of mine?”

I loosened up my face, as I took a deep breath in. The long breath out allowed my other hand to unwind as well. I parted my teeth, while my fingertips eased on to the very tip of his nails. “Okay,” I tried another deep, thoughtless breath.

“You can do it, Y/N.” He whispered.

I blinded myself with my unoccupied hand.

Trevor felt gravelly.

Like extreme acne.

His breathing was not nearly as noticeable as the racing heart, beating at the top of his body.

He had a spine.

Noticeable only because the several wobbly scribbles of a line that I tried to draw was not nearly as straight as the subtle ridge at the center of his back.

I eased the hand off of my eyes. Sure to embarrass myself as the sting of tears felt closer than ever. When I looked between us, the room felt a little bit bigger. Almost like we weren’t surrounded by onlookers awaiting my first true reaction.

Our knees were resting so carelessly against each others. Neville’s hand was no longer stroking Trevor with me, it was upright exactly the way someone would hold a ring box ajar. His face was flushed pink, a dopey smile on full display.

My heart floated up and out of my body, drifting high above my head like a balloon. A smile of my own lit up my entire face, while I cupped my palm on Trevor’s back like Neville did minutes before.

Dean and Hermione congratulated me on my fierce battle versus a backwards toad.

But then Trevor made an awful noise that made me jump to attention.

“Okay, Trevor’s done for... the rest of the year.” Neville hurriedly placed the toad on the table behind him.

When he turned to face me, the tiny bit of nerves that infinitely plagued his features returned while he was very caught up between continuing to kneel or standing up.

I hopped to my feet, helping Neville choose to straighten himself up as well.

“That was amazing, Y/N!”

“You’re, you’re— amazing, Nev!” I must have forgotten to resume thinking because I trapped him in a hug. His arms pressed against his sides and all.

After a burst of his nervous laughter rattled through the air, he tried to hug me in return. When only able to bend at his elbows, he hovered his hands over the edges of my back for a moment. Until finally he placed his hands even softer than the touch I just shared with Trevor.

Dean and Hermione swapped looks then, and I had to shut my eyes to pretend I didn’t notice.

[popculturebuffet]

Amphiba: True Colors Review or FINALLY THE  FINALE

We’re finally here all you happy people! Ten Months, 36 episodes, 20 half hours, a lot of gay subtext, a lot of bloodshed, and a lot of build up have lead us all here! One absolutely STUFFED finale: A trust is betrayed, a rebllion is had, a conquerer rises and NOTHING will ever be the same.. and yes htat’s thrown around a lot but this is one of those times where NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME. This is that kind of finale folks. 

But before I can get into all the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for there’s a few things to discuss.. and the first is obviously the fact we had to wait three goddamn extra weeks to get here after spending all season leading up to this. 

You all know the story by now. Hell I even angirly ranted about it when it happened and rightfully so. But frankly the colossal delay is going to be such an integral and permeant part of this episode and this show’s history that not talking about it in this review would do it a diservice: So to recap: The finale was posted to air  May 1st, a weak after “The Dinner/Battle of the Bands”. I had it set in my schedule, it showed up in that month’s press release of Disney Channel Episodes, We were all ready to go with all the tight and intense build up leading up to this. 

Then the worst happened and Disney aburbtly, and with a funny face image trying to play it off as a joke annoucned via it’s animation twitter the episode would be delayed. Now in fairness to the twitter person there, they were PROBABLY trying to help massage a blow... but seriously dude, read the room next time.  Thankfully creator Matt Braly stepped in and explained it was technical delays. After what happened the next day I ASSUMED he was just trying to cover for them as it would turn out the episode was finished.. turns out, and I had to edit the review to reflect this the truth was somewhere in the middle. Edits were more discussed, likely due to the episodes very violent nature, and the episode was given a content warning. Given what happens.. I can’t blame Disney for wanting one or for thinking of editing it.. but canblamehtem for the “Things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY’ nature of the edist and the insuing delay. 

I can also blame them for leaking the episode on ITUNES. Yeah if they were REALLY concenred abotu content then they would’ve held off longer and not brought this up five minutes before it aired, delaying the episode for many. Hell I DEFENEDED them in the original version of this, but they had MONTHS of this episode being in production to fucking say something. WHy do this five mintues before it’s finished? 

It just smacks of laziness and overly panicy stuff. A content warning would’ve been FINE. You ahve it for racisim on Disney Plus, just put one here and call it a day. You haven’t objected to the horrifying content in the series up to this point why start NOW.  And they STILL never apologized. For any of this. For the leak, for the delay, never properly explaining the delay (Matt didn’t either.. but given how twitchy comapnies can be about what their creators say, I can’t blame him for not wanting to clarify it was a post credit’s thing till closer to airtime), just in general not giving a shit abotu the kids or adults watching this. Just because kids watch thiis dosen’t me older kids don’t have social media, and it dosen’t mean teens don’t. If you want to pretend us adults watching this don’t exist.. fine. It sucks but I can’t do anything. But do not do this shit to kids and then not go to them. And again Matt could’ve.. but it’s not his fucking job. His job is to make a show, help make sure it gets to air and be a sweeheart. YOURS is to make sure things run smoothly and when their is a hickup,get your house in order. 

Matt shoudln’t of HAD to beg people not to watch it. Various va’s for the show shoudln’t of HAD to record funny messages.. it was appricated but it’s not thier job to prevent this from spreading. It’s yours. It’s yours to open your damn eyes and see adults and older teens watch this stuff too and to head that shit off. This incident is going to stick in my craw for god knows how long and ALMOST convinced me not to cover Owl House weekly (I still woud’ve likely done a review on each half of the season). I ended up renegeing on that and will be starting regular coverage of that in June and continuing coverage of this show whenever it returns.. but it was close. 

And it’s ultimately YOU GUYS that kept me hanging in there. It was thanks to a Disney show this blog exists in the first place, and contiunes to get the bulk of it’s viewers. It’s how I got my patreon, biggest fan and bfinacial backer Kev. I’ts why I can do what I love, talking about and analyzing stuff I enjoy and ocasionally loathe. You guys came back week after week for my ducktales reviews and stayed for Amphibia. I”m sure i’ll get even more for Owl House. It’s thanks to all of you I can keep going despite the hardships, the lack of patreons, the long nights, the weird sleep schedules. I wouldn’t of made it through 20 weeks of awesome tv without you. So for you, and for myself, i’ll hang in there but I expect better Disney. And i’m damn well gonna get it. So join me under the cut as the world turns upside down.. and there are a LOT of spoilers. Seriously if you want to wait for the tv airing do not go under the cut

So we open with a flashback to 8 months ago, the day all this began: Marcy was working in the library on her cram classes, getting texts from both Sasha, who was excited about Anne’s birthday, and her own father who wants her to come home right away as there’s something important they need to discuss. 

But before she can a book about the strange and what not naturally slips out and Mar-Mar can’t help but thumb through it.. and as you were no doubt dreading.. finds the box which is said in a large tv friendly caption to lead to other worlds. 

Naturally Marcie is intrigued and snaps a pick and heads home... and we cut to the END of that conversation as she tearfully runs out of the house , refusing to accept what they’ve told her and her dad coming off hella unsympathetic with his overly harsh tone, especially since we DO find out what he told her... and it’s a lot to put on her and a lot to just say “accept because I helped make you for all of two unsatisfying minutes. “ 

So while running away she passes the box.. and sets the events from both the show’s opening and the flashback from the last finale in motion. Marcy sent them here on purpose.

Yeah needless to say I DIDN’T see this coming. And it seems obvious in hindsight: Marcy being the one most desperate to keep thier friendship together, as we’ll see at it’s worst through this episode, her barely mentioning going home, and most tellingly the only things she talks about from earth were Anne, Sasha and her dorky intrests. All the things closest to the heart and that she’s most likely to make out with.. but while Anne brings up earth stuff every so often even after getting more screen time in Season 2b... Marcy NEVER talks about that kind of stuff. She has her girlfriends and a real life fantasy novel right here... but she DOSEN’T miss her parents or earth itself. And given her life was already shown to be as an outcast with only two people carring about her, three with her mom now we know, who never REALLY fit in and whose on friends very clearly didn’t share her intrests.. it probably made it all the more tempting: a real adventure, an escape from her problems, and a way to start over: become who she always PLAYED and not who she was. Everything just.. snaps into place with this revelation and makes Marcy an all the more heartbreaking character... even more so soon enough when we find out what her overall plan was. 

But that’s half an episode away: for now our party returns on Joe to Newtopia.. though clumsly. Marcy admits that they probably can’t fit more people on him. But with this our heroes are ready to finish this story and with a plan since obviously they can’t just walk into town with two wanted crminals: Marcy will present the box and THEN sasha and grime, who will cloak themselves to avoid attracting attentions, with literal cloaks Marcy hasn’t made a cloaking device yet, so hopefully they’ll get a pardon. 

Inside Sprig and Anne talk, with Sprig admitnig he’s sad this is the last adventure.. but Anne has hope. After all they have a way home now and that portal goes both ways. She can hop back any time and vice versa. This sin’t goodbye.. it’s just goodbye for now. And i’ts something I genuinely didn’t think of.. and not just because Andrias’ shady actions and Sasha and Grime’s machinations meant this was NEVER going to end well. 

Speaking of Sasha and Grime’s machinations those come to a head: As our heroes enter the castle, greeted by Lady Olivia, and we get our typical end of the RPG speech from the “Good” king.... Sasha swipes the box and Grime uses the hammer to knock everyone off ballance. The coup the two have been cooking up has come to pass. 

Anne and Marcy’s reactions.. are telling: Anne is utterly pissed at the betryal and done with Sasha and Marcy is begging both sides to stop as this was not how it was supposed to end. Sasha tries to use a box as a baranging chip, and plans to destroy it if Andrias dosen’t surrender despite destroying her way home. Given it’s implied her home life isn’t great either and she gets to rule an empire instead of a school, it’s easy to see why. 

Grime stops him from calling her bluff though by wacking him in the shins and then hodling him at hammer point to get the military of Newtopia to stand down while his covert Toad agents reveal themselves and runamuck. Grime has won. 

Anne meanwhile is livid, with Sasha not quite getting why MAYBE Anne would once again feel betrayed that once again Sasha is trying to do everything her way and once again lied to her and harmed innocent people. Anne breaks off their friendship which deeply uspets Marcy.. who weirldy. ISN’T trying to talk Sasha out of this. After all she gets what she wanted anyway. She IS upset when Sasha tries to send them home for defiance.. but the box dosen’t work for her and she simply has the guards escort our heroes and Olivia out till she can figure this out. 

Naturally though Anne, being pissed, heartbroken and pissed, and yes that was indeed intentional, HEADBUTTS the nearest guard and breaks them out, with the planatrs starting to fight back. Their still outnumbered.. but help arrives 

Or rather the Amphibia equilvent as both wolverines are busy with prep for the Hellfire Gala. Yes it’s General Yunan, who Lady Olivia cuts off probably not for the first time. Your lucky that’s one of her turn on’s lady.

So our heroes sneak out and head to Sals, while the Toads wreck up the town. Marcy... is of course desperate to fix things, but figures it’s easy. All they have to do is free the king, stop the rest of the army from arriving, their an hour away, and cementing grime’s foothold, get her girlfriends to reconcile and fix the inherent power imbalance so a rebellion doesn’t’ happen again. 

But Anne rouses them: They may be a goofus, a quick witted kid, an out of touch old man, a literal baby, am etaphorical baby, and a nerd.. but their a BADASS Goofus, kid, old man, babies and nerd... and two other ladies the toads actually know and respect. They’ve fought worse: Canibals, princess bride references, theater bandits, chicken elder gods, Poly’s addiction to angry mobs and paste pot pete and come back stronger each time. They can do this. They might only be 8 strangers, but together they can fuck up this shit. or to have a previously mentioned buddy of mine sum it up

So with that it’s time to split up gang: Marcy, Hop Pop and Olivia will go free the king using Hop Pop’s acting skills...which actually works despite Olvia’s doubts. Polly, Yunan and Frobo will put the hammer down and give them hell, taking out the toads in the city and drawing all of them away from the gate where Spriganne will trigger it thus saving the day. 

Meanwhile Sasha is feeling discontent. She got everything she wanted.. but she didn’t think about what to DO with all that power. At home she could do all sorts of things ruling a school but now she’s lost one of the loves of her life. Without Anne and Marcy i’ts just empty. Even Grime’s utterly heartfelt gift of an emerald sword, he knew she always wanted to duel wield that has a heron on it, a sign of how they met and a truly sweet gesture can’t cheer her up. So Grime suggests redecorating and the first thing to go is a sappy mural of Andrias and his subjects. What they find UNDER it though is horrifying.. and i’ts surprisingly not a bunch of spiders like you’d expect.. but a mural of Andrius as some sort of horrible king with an army of robot frogs like Frobo, with a LOT of frog, toad and newt skeletons piled up. Sasha and Grime are glad they dodged that bullet.. only to find Anne scaling the tower with Sprig, the two naturally going to stop them.

 The two try and turn the wheel, but can’t as there’s a doorstop... one they DEFINTELY saw earlier when looking out the window of Sal’s.

Regardless they send Polly for that.. and the rematch begins. Sasha TRIES talking to Anne.. but given she stabbed her in the back AGAIN for incredbly petty reasons, that’s not going to work and the two get one hell of a fight. Beautifully animated and rife with emotion as the two clash with Sasha DESPERATLY trying to get Anne to stop for a second and listen and Anne rightly refusing, while we watching know our hero winning will spell DOOM for this world despite her trying to do the right thing. Anna and Brenda’s acting here is just TOP notch. In any other episode this would be the best part of it.. but we’re only getting warmed up.

While they fight, we get a surprising and awesome bout I did not see coming: Sprig Vs Grime. And it gives me Spider-Man vs Kingpin vibes really: A rotund but still far more powerful opponent versus a smaller but quicker one. And that’s how even more shockingly, Sprig comes out the WINNER. While Grime has the hammer and more strength and skill... Sprig has speed and thus gets Grime to whack himself with it. Granted he can’t use the thing and comically spins around afterword.. but it proves Grime’s racist thoughts about frogs wrong and leaves Anne free to turn the wheel once she beats Sasha. The invasion is thwarted.

But naturally given the ooky spooky mural and the other hints of ominous shit like the watcher with a thousand eyes, this isn’t the end. Back at the throne room, with Sasha and Grime as prisoners Anne gives Andrias the box despite sasha begging her not to. But rather than send her home right away.. he has a history lesson for her first. And nothing good ever starts with someone delaying helping you to give a sinister history lesson let me tell you.

We find out the while truth: Amphibia was once a technological empire powered by the box, and prosperity SEEMINGLY reigned, and Andrias, much like our heroines, had two close friends, a toad and a frog. But one day they betrayed him, abandoning him and seemingly stealing the box , leaving his mechanical marvels powerless and Andrias bitter and angry. Hence the whole revenge ploy. 

In an unsurprising and invincible-esque twist, he reveals his ancestors were not explorers but CONQUERERS and he intends to finish their work, placing the box on a pedestal that turns his castle into a flying fortress glowing blue. It only gets worse from there: the castle’s awakening also activates factories around Amphibia similar to the one we saw back in “Fort in the Road” that gave us Frobo and it turns out their dark purpose.. is to create armies of unstoppable soldiers to secure his dominon.... and spread it to the other worlds. The reason he didn’t send the girls home is he figures correctly Anne and the others will try and stop him from TAKING it. 

So yeah Anne’s reaction is very naturally...

And despite being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned she plans to make an all out stand. She realizes that her own fight with Sasha only allowed something FAR WORSE to take hold. She’s not WRONG for fighting her, Sasha was being a shithead taking over and did so for flimsy and selfish reasons and she had no reason to listen to her.. but had she at least thought over giving him the box and not simply given it to him to spite her none of this would be happening. So she and the plantars get ready for round 2, with Sasha having her back this time, and Grime having Sasha’s. It’s a really sweet moment, showing Sasha has realized just how much her own greedy and controlling ambitions have cost her and that she’s brought about something far worse thorugh them, and is ready to make amends and Grime as always ready to stand by the only true family he has. 

But before the carnage can begin.. Marcy stops them... and then tearfully turns to Andrias “This wasn’t our deal!”. Andrias, now not having to play nice, dosen’t care and cruelly points out of course he did: He would’ve said whatever it took to get her to fill the box and she did it. He also hints at Marcy’s dark secret, with both girls wondering what the hell he’s on about.. but clearly starting to piece it together, with Andrias cruelly toying with Marcy to tell them before he does.. and barely gives her any time before going ahead with it anyway, knowing she’d be unable to. And with this we get the best line of the episode and Keith david’s best delivery.. and given he makes a fucking seven course meal of the entire second act, yeah that’s a high bar.

"Did it ever occur to you — Anne, Sasha — that one of you knew more than she was letting on? That one of you might've gotten you stranded in Amphibia... on purpose?"

The line itself hits like a sledgehammer. We knew for the full episode she did this on purpose.. but we also knew at some point it was clearly going to come out and hurt them both.. and to see someone Marcy clearly saw as a better replacement dad, someone she thought cared about her and was offering her her dreams for no gain on his end cruelly tell them clearly for his own amusment as he dosen’t remotely see them as a threat.. it’s utterly chilling as it is heartbreakiing and horrifying. 

Naturally Anne and Sasha are upset, Sasha a bit baffled and Anne just utterly broken by this: She’d already been betrayed TWICE by the other love of her life.. now MARCY had betrayed her.. and WORSE? 

And it only gets worse as Marcy heartbreakingly reveals her motivation and what this was really all about: Her dad announced he got a new job and they were moving a state away.. and like I said he’s a prick. Not for moving, that happens and it sucks but for having no freaking empathy about it. Maybe if he took a parenting class earth wouldn’t be on the cusp of a robot invasion. Marcy was about to loose her girls and was desperate.... so naturally Andrias claimed to simply want to take them all with him on his journeys, obviously leading out the conquest and likely genocide part, so they could go on and on FOREVER. And this whole thing gave Anne the plantars so it’s not all bad right? Right? But it’s clear she’s trying to desperatly lie to herself this was all okay as she’s been doing ever since she started this all 8 months ago and Anne pointing out she misses her family, something Marcy never considered given her own reasons for leaving and how Sasha likely dosen’t have a happy family life herself. 

This.. this is Haley Tju’s finest hour. She’s done good voice work before, especially in this series but here, with Marcy’s anguish, desperation and guilt all leaking out as she tries to get her girlfriend not to turn away from her. it’s all just amazing heartbreaking stuff and I salute her and the animation does her fine acting a service and shows every bit of pain in the poor girls face. 

Anne naturally does turn away a bit and Marcy cries.. but Anne quickly recovers... while she obviously isn’t entirely ready to forgive Marcy JUST yet, it’s clear she wasn’t thinking straight and did all of this out of desperation... and that the hulking dickbag who betrayed them all and is gloating about all of this manipulated her, preying on her desperation and anguish to finish his plan.  Marcy fucked up big time, no question.. but ANDRIAS is the true monster here, and if he’s not stopped this world she’s grown to love and the one she left behind will BURN. Anne may be many things: impulsive, kinda weird, easy to anger.. but she is over all that a HERO. And there’s a villian to stop

Andrias, while not seeing them as remotely a threat, does admit this will probably be fun and the fight begins, with our heroes, including Marcy, easily besting the Obsdian Swarm.. as i’m calling them now. It’s a cools equence.. but ultimately futile. Andrias is FAR more powerful than he’s let on with the box. And shows it off by destroying toad tower before coming at them with a fire sowrd, easily swatting them aside like flies. They try their best to fight back but it’s not much use, and Andrias NEARLY crushes polly to death under his fist. Yes a fucking child. What a dick. 

Frobo saves him... and sadly this is the end for our new friend as Andrias is mildly amused that one of his creations glitched.. then smashes him into robotic paste. Polly rightfully calls him a monster and his response is as chilling as it is wonderfully dickish: “Don’t worry, your next”. 

Thankfully though she got out of the way.. because she has LEGS now. It’s also why I keep saying 8 months, though it’s likely more like 9 given it took a month to get to newtopia: 

The prophecy has come true! And while she stumbles for a second Polly quickly proves she can really move, she has an attitude and she’s the fastest thing alive by grabbing the box seemingly winning.. except Andrias has sprig in his fist and is going to crush or drop him ulness she stops. And despite Sprig BEGGING his sister to let him go for the sake of everyone else, like any good hero she naturally puts the box back. 

Anne begs for him to let Sprig go since he got what he wanted and he’s her best friend in this or any world... but all this does is insprie Andrias to DROP HIM OUT A WINDOW, bitter over his own past and eager to torture her some more. This really shows off who Andrias REALLY is now the mask is off; a sadistic tyrannical bully who relishes in making his victims really squirm, revels in malevolence and is just so damn gleeful about it: Not to say BIll Cipher levels more of a cold, cruel enjoyment of things. 

As I said earlier Keith David makes a motherfucking Seven Course Meal out of the second half of this episode, utterly stealing the show now he can play Andrias as he truly is: not skulng in the shadows with ominus hints he’s evil or pretending to be nice, but instead as a sadistic brute who delights in suffering and wants nothing less than everything under his boothill. in short he’s an AWESOME antagonist and while Keith David has played TREMENDOUS villains before, this one will easily be his best if the writing holds. Andrias is Keith David at his fucking best and proves the Disney legend has EVEYRTHING left in the tank even as he approaches 70′s. Jesus I fucking love this man. 

So this causes anne to retreat into herself, leaving us in a black void as Anne remembers all the good times.. and goes MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAYIAN. Well more accurately super sayian god super sayian, or blueper sayian if you will, but still i’ts a n utterly striking sequence and a clear direct shout out with Anne getting her powers the same way Goku did: loosing someone to an utterly cruel bastard. Same with Gohan’s upgrade to super sayian 2. It’s just a truly striking sequence as she powers up in a FULL rage, DEMANDNIG he give him back. 

Andrais is stunned, clearly knowing this was something she was capable of but thought she could no longer do as the box shoudlv’e drained her of the ablility, while Hop Pop and Grime wonder if this is a human thing. 

So Anne WAILS on the fucker, easily besting a shocked andrias despite his best attempts.. but she tires out and he swats her aside, gleefully noting she dosen’t know how to control it. Sprig turns out to be okay though. Marcy went and saved him while Anne was rippig Andrias asunder.. and then activates the box. Sasha and Grime hold him off while Anne makes a run for it with the plantars while Andrias gives out your standard villian big no. Anne and Fam make it... but Marcy is taking a sec.. and that second gets her GUTTED. Not an exageration or me being a smart ass like usual.. Andrias RAN HER THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD. 

His only response is “Look what you made me too and Anne and crew are warped away, unable to save her. 

So we end with our heroes landing somewhere and Sprig wondering where they are... where they are is on the top of a car on a busy Los Angeles Freeway... and in front of two very weirded out humans. Anne is home. 

So now for the part that wasn’t in the original release apparently: The teaser.. aka THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON 3 OPENING. 

Hell. Yes. Just a few quick personal notes before we hit the wrap up: I love how the season will be on earth, a nice change of pace, how the Boonchuy’s have very clearly warmly welcomed the plantars, the expanded cast at the title card, and how Disney just let them go ALL out for this one. They’ve clearly stopped being cheap assholes when it comes to letting intro’s change or at the very least got this was the very end of the series and thus important enough to gussie up. But yes the end is nigh.. and probably not till late this year if this year AT ALL And I will return for it. Well return to doing this show anyway, i’m not going anywhere. They’ll have to pry this blog from my cold dead hands. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is the series best so far. My only honest complaint is the Toad Invasion comes and goes really quickly and I question why it was crammed into half the episode. Don’t get me wrong, Andrias’ rise needed the full 10 minutes, but I question why we dind’t get an episode before this settingit up and THEN have it happen over half an episode, epsecially since we spent an entire episode on getting the other toad barons involved only for ONE of them to show up for all of five minutes. 

Otherwise though? Yeah no notes. The cast is at the top of their damn game, with Brenda Song, Hailey Tju and Keith Motherfucking David as the standouts, the animatoin is likewise, and it pays off a thing or two you wouldn’t expect like the acting episode. This is a truly outstanding finale, one that has now joined other all time faviorite season finales such as “You’re In Control”, “Reunited”, “The Crossroads of Destiny”, and “Moonvasion”. I will be watching this again when it comes to Disney Plus. Masterful stuff.

As for the season as a whole.. this was a great season. While it did start a bit rocky with the road trip arc, which I’m still not a huge fan of as I feel it mostly wasted an awesome idea of them going on a world spanning roadtrip with some fairly weak episodes, with the exception of standouts “Truckstop Polly” and “Wax Museum”. 

But once we got to Netwopia it got better, with better spotlight episodes, the pacing picking up and Marcy joining our merry crew. And it hit it’s peak with the second half of the season: the return to wartwood effortlessly combined slice of life with the compelling temple episodes. It was also a nice break before the utter hell that arrived in the finale, but still nicely lead up to said finale.  This season may of STARTED bumpy but it finished at it’s highest point and with one epic finale to go it’s only going to get better from here. 

As for this blog the same holds true: Review wise next week i’ll be taking a break from normal reviews to do a week’s worth of Goofy based content in time for his birthday, from shorts, to goof troop, to hosue of mouse, to an obscure special, all leading up to the Disney Classic A Goofy Movie. So stick around.

And if that dosen’t do it for you I have an ongoing retrospective on the story arcs of ducktales season 2, i’m nearing the end of one on Scott Pilgrim and in the middle of one of The Life and Times of Scrogoe McDuck. and if you prefer weekly reviews, as I mentioned earlier offhandidly i’ll be covering the Owl House! LIke Amphibia i’m starting with Season 2, but just like with this show i’m excited as all hell and hope you’ll join me. And if you need even more I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, where I have exclusive reviews if you choose to back me as well as exciting stretch goals, one of which down the line is reviewing season one of this very show. So join it and if not that’s okay too, either way.. it’s been a pleasure. 

[i-imade-a-thing]

Bessie and Microangelo & The Third Temple Breakdown!

Ok those set of episodes are really fun and we finally get the reunion between Anne and Sasha! It also set up for the final few episodes of Amphibia. (Oh frog we only have 2 weeks left.....)

As always this will be the lists of things I notice in this set of episode and other stuff! Don't click "Keep Reading" if you haven't seen the episode yet~

Bessie and Microangelo

"Frog devil" does this mean "Frog God" exist?

Hidden armoury under Plantar's house is mentioned(from episode "Family Shrub")

Microangelo's food bowl is gold. Polly really haggle the heck out of some poor employee.

The well's roof look like a bee(awww)

Add Axe to Frobo's tool list

The wagon that was about to crush Micro. is the same one that Newtopia's armourer rides in

wonder what part of Amphibia this map represent

Armour that Anne wear include:

An armor from Legend of Zelda: Breath of Wild

King's skull from The Owl House on the staff of Sorceress Supreme armor

Elite Commando armor reference Mobile suit gundam

Anne's picture is tape to Plantar's family photo(awww)

That bat-bird hybrid is explosive and eat tiny snail. Noted.

Anne's theme can be heard after Marcy and Sprig take her armor off and when she made a little speech

"I don't want a new look cuz I'm finally happy with who I see in the mirror right now. So whatever I put on, I just want to see same me looking back" This really show how much she grown in Amphibia

Anne looking at her reflection is adorable

Anne sweat a little when she ask other what they think of her armor, meaning she's a little nervous what other people think

"Wish I was a cute little snail" WHY DO YOU SOUND SAD HOP POP

Wait if Microangelo is now in the family photo, does this mean Bessie draw it? Also if that's true then why she didn't draw Anne in?

This episode is just pure wholesomeness! Seeing Bessie being such a mom to Microangelo is sooo cuteeeee. Also seeing another episode reflecting about Anne growth is neat. I rate this episode wholesome out of 10.

The Third Temple

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH BBBBBBBAAAAABBBBBYYYY MMMAAAARRRRCYYYYYYYYYYY

Marcy is a nerd since she's a kid, also she seems to like planes

Question: Is it legal to kill or torture fictional teenagers?

THESE 3 BABIES ARE SO CUTE

Sasha have a good heart, she protect people she doesn't know, yet don't want anything in return

Sasha also seems surprise when Anne invite her to play together...does she has friends before them?

Joe Sparrow is REALLY exhausted, so that mean volcano is even further than second temple

Frogs and toads aren't good with extreme heat. Noted.

Anne is shown to be stronger than Marcy(this come back in final challange)

Anne is shocked seeing Sasha, while Marcy is just happy

Sasha just pick up the hammer like it was NOTHING

Anne's theme can be heard when Marcy hug Sasha

"Did you say we?" Anne of the Year Flashback

"The whole reason why we're stalking you is...." has the same energy as Grime saying "We Toads have come here to...." in Reunion

Music box's theme is played when Marcy show Sasha the music box

"Hey u can't tell them what to do!" Anne really standing up for herself now

Marcy follow Sasha without any hesitation

Sasha is annoyed the fact Plantars (and Anne?) doesn't trust her

Marcy is the weakest of the trio (nerd moment)

I seriously can't tell if Sasha was genuine to Anne or not in the fight

Those armour must be very heavy, and Sasha just throw it, against the increased gravity, across the room

Stone monster give a thumb up before dying. Guess he's more of a guardian than a brainless monster.

The girl's position seems to mirror the girl's position in flashback

The recharge station have craving off a buff frog/toad, also have a cone shape(like the volcano)

During recharge process, it look like an eruption from volcano

Sasha's power is completely drained

"We should bring [the box] to king andrias!" Andrias' proposition oh no oh no oh no

Polly said "Take me to my bucket"

Marcy playing with Joe Sparrow is cute

Sasha really want to be friend with Anne again...

This episode make me feel really scared. The girls are back together now and we finally see Marcy and Sasha interact! Both Marcy and Sasha also seem to have their own plan when arriving in Newtopia. Anne starting to trust Sasha, then get betrayed again is going to hurt Anne so much. Plus Marcy doing her own stuff with the box....Anne trust really gotta shatter. Meanwhile Sasha genuinely want to befriend Anne, but need to lie to Anne, Sasha gonna get hurt too. The girl's friendship really look like is about to be broken. I am very scared. It hurts to see their friendship break.

[goldenraeofsun]

If you’re still doing the fic prompts I’d love enemies to friends to lovers and isolated or trapped. I love your writing and I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers plot lines!

Hour 0

Dean stomps his feet on the mat, trying to get rid of the snow caking stubbornly to his boots. It was a two minute walk from where he carefully parked his baby several cars down the driveway of Charlie’s rented cabin, but Dean and Sam look like they’d just gone toe to toe with an avalanche. As the door opens, grins. “Did someone say video games?” 

Charlie beams as she accepts a hello hug from Sam. “Just in time!” she tells them, tugging them both inside. “Kevin and Garth got here ten minutes ago. Jo’s making a liquor run, and Castiel is finishing setting up Monopoly.”

Dean’s relieved grin at finally getting out of the cold falls off his face at Castiel’s name. “Seriously?”

“It’s a legit game,” Charlie chides as she directs them further into the luxurious cabin she and the rest of her birthday party guests rented for the long weekend, “more legit than Vampirates vs. Goulpires,” she mutters under her breath. Before Dean could defend his totally not made up RPG, she adds, “Anyway, he also brought Clue, Sorry, Uno, and Settlers of Catan, before you jump down his throat for Monopoly.”

Dean scowls but admits, “I guess it wouldn’t be game night without the rest.”

“Exactly,” Charlie says primly.

“Nice place,” Sam says, unravelling his scarf as he walks inside, marveling at the exposed wood and other home deco shit Dean couldn’t care less about. There aren’t creepy paintings with eyes that follow you around or mounted animal heads on the wall, so it’s all good in Dean’s book. The owners are people who probably go glamping.

“It was a steal at this time of the year,” Charlie says with a grin. “Who knew nobody wanted to freeze their asses off in the middle of nowhere in January?”

“Wifi?” Sam asks, already hopefully rooting around in his pocket for his phone.

“I didn’t ask,” Charlie says cheerfully. As Sam’s face falls, she swats him in the arm. “This is going to be a completely offline weekend - and that’s coming from me. Don’t be a baby about it.” 

Just before the threshold of the living room, Charlie tugs Dean off to the side. “Hey, wait a sec.” They listen for a second as Sam’s appearance causes a brief uproar in loud greetings. “I know you don’t like Castiel-”

“’Cause he’s a dick,” Dean shoots back automatically.

“-but play nice,” Charlie continues, rolling her eyes. “It’s my birthday, and we definitely don’t need any macho man contests, got it?”

“Got it,” Dean grumbles. “But-”

“What?”

“I’m not gonna be blamed if he starts it,” Dean says, and he would cross his arms across his chest if he wasn’t carrying two bags full of three extra controllers and six videogames. He settles for glaring down at Charlie imperiously since he’s got the height advantage.

“See,” Charlie rolls her eyes, “This is why I’m so glad I’m a lesbian.”

Hour 1.5

“Come on!” Dean howls as Castiel fishes out the wedged bills from underneath Free Parking. “He’s already bought half the board!”

Charlie looks up from reorganizing the bank’s haphazard stacks of ones, fives, tens, twenties, and fifties. Plus a pathetic two five-hundred bills. The rest are already owned by Castiel.

Sam, who’d already declared bankruptcy twenty minutes ago and was already halfway to getting sharked by Jo in a poker with Kevin and Garth, elbows him in the ribs. “Play nice,” he hisses.

“He started it,” Dean retorts right to Castiel’s smirking face.

“By winning?” Castiel asks in an innocent tone that doesn’t fool Dean in the fucking least.

“By being an asshole,” Dean says darkly.

Sam just elbows him again.

Charlie rolls her eyes.

Hour 2

“That’s it! I’m done!” Dean declares, throwing down his two measly properties he managed to keep ahold of. “Take all my goddamn money.”

“Gladly,” Castiel says smugly as he adds Dean’s precious deeds to his pile of cards.

Charlie slaps her hand against her forehead.

“Alright, it’s you and me angel boy,” Dorothy says, leaning across the board. “Bring it.”

Hour 3

Castiel’s face falls faster than Yoshi just fell off Rainbow Road.

Dean’s currently in the lead, but he’s not so distracted by his impending victory to miss Castiel totally failing at Mario Kart. He hasn’t broken the top three since they started playing forty-five minutes ago. Dean grins widely.

“Oh, shut up,” Castiel grumbles as his eyes flick from the controller to the nearest wall and back again.

Dean’s gaze doesn’t deviate from the screen. “I didn’t say anything, jackass.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Sam mutters as he lobs a green koopa shell at Dean’s Mario.

Mario careens off the road, Luigi speeding past.

Dean’s mouth falls open. “What the hell, Sammy?” 

“All’s fair in love and war and Mario Kart,” Sam recites dutifully, his tongue between his teeth as he fights to keep his lead from Charlie’s Toad.

Hour 3.5

“Seriously, Dean?” Castiel demands over the sound of mashing buttons. “We are on the same team.”

“My bad,” Dean says blithely as he hammers on Yoshi again instead of aiming for Luigi or Toad. They’re clearly going to lose, but Dean might as well make it fun for himself.

Plus, there’s nothing Sam likes least than playing a boring game of Super Smash Bros. Serves him right, for forcing Dean to be on a team with Castiel. Oh we can’t be on a team together, Dean, we’ve had too much practice. It wouldn’t be fair - Dean’s shapely ass.

“You are being completely unreasonable.”

“D’you know who whines, Cas?” Dean taunts as he bonks Luigi once in the head before wailing on Yoshi, “babies.”

Castiel bursts out, “Dammit, Dean!” as Yosi gets blasted off screen, no thanks to Mario.

Dean isn’t the least bit sorry when Castiel does finally throw his controller at the wall and storms into the kitchen for more alcohol.

Hour 4

“Give me those goddamn sheep!” Dean hollers as he brandishes three lumber cards and an ore in Castiel’s face. “I know you have them.”

“I might,” Castiel says calmly, “but that has no bearing on whether or not I wish to trade with you.”

“You need lumber for that road,” Dean reminds him testily.

“Dorothy has extra lumber she might be willing to trade me,” Castiel says, eyes narrowing.

Dorothy looks up from where she’d been whispering conspiratorially with Charlie. “Uh, Charlie just took my extra lumber. Sorry.”

Castiel glares daggers of betrayal at the pair of them. “I forfeit my turn,” he announces, crossing his arms across his chest like a toddler refusing to walk one more step further.

“Seriously?” Dean gapes. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I am not,” Castiel thunders. “This whole evening, you’ve been recalcitrant and a poor loser. I don’t see why I have to accommodate such behavior.”

Dean slams down his hand on the table, rattling “Of all the goddamn pretentious bullshit-”

“Woah,” Kevin interrupts, alarmed. “Come on, guys, this doesn’t have to be a big deal-”

Dean interrupts, “He made it a big deal when he refused to trade the sheep!”

“This is not about the sheep, and you know it, Dean Winchester,” Castiel says severely.

“Okay,” Charlie says loudly, her mouth set in a firm line. “Time out.”

“Yes, thank you,” Castiel says gratefully. “I could do with a break -”

“No, a time out, Charlie says, pointing unambiguously at Castiel and Dean, “You two, get out until you can play nice together.”

Read the rest here!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Poly!Laughing Jack x Fem!Reader x Offenderman

Title: Punish Me // The Odd Throuple

Plot: Y/N gets shot in the neck and through the chest and is rushed to get help at Slender Mansion. This is your boyfriends’ reactions to you being seriously hurt. 

Notes:

I wrote most of this on my phone on the train so I’m sorry probably lots of errors!! My autocorrect likes to correct properly spelled words to the wrongly spelled versions I’ve accidentally typed in the past. 😒

Why, oh why, are my fluffiest works always with these two bastards??? Comfort characters...

Warnings: Well, you get shot because Offender raped someone. So, decide with that how you will. Sexual references also

~~~

"This is for my daughter, you f-freaks!" The man behind you is sobbing now. When he caught you it was just an itchy fidget, now that Offender and L.J are here he's falling apart.

The gun pressed into the crook of your neck moves and shifts with his ugly, heartbroken cries and all you can think is; I'm sorry. Oh my god, I'm so sorry, even as your body goes cold and you shiver with fear at having such a lethal weapon pressed to your skin at the hand of someone so unstable at the moment. You didn't even do anything to this man, but you feel his pain and feel sick anyway.

I'm so, so sorry.

You can only imagine what he means. What happened to his daughter...

"Who's your daughter!?" Offender growls, desperately. And uselessly. There's no way he remembers, there's no way he could help now. He doesn't ask for the names, and he certainly doesn't bother to listen if they tell him. He's just pleading. He doesn't know what else he could do. Just don't shoot her lethally. Miss the heart, he chants in his head. He can get you to Slender then but if you're dead... there's just nothing he can do. Its out of his power and he feels useless.

And this is his fault.

L.J doesn't respond at all, standing beside him. His eyes are on you, watching carefully. Communicating through his eyes. He hasn't moved since he realised the situation, struck completely still. He doesn't know what to do. If he fights for you, and he loses you still? ... He doesn't know if he could do that.

And then again, if you're killed anyway and he did nothing, it'll still hurt... but then at least he would have plausible deniability. He can... he can live like that. The alternative is worse. Far, far worse, to him.

And more then that, he doesn't care about bartering with this man.

Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes- losing a few tears you didn't know, through the shock, where glazing your eyes.

"You... fucker... took her before it was time, and now... " The man takes a deep breath in, making it cold on your neck where his face is hidden. "I'm going to take something you care about."

"WAIT- "

BANG.

A searing hot pain tears through your skin, everywhere as the bullet rips your insides open and a terrible scream rips out of your throat, more from shock, as the man lets your body go and gravity drags you down, nearly knocking your head on the concrete. Before that could happen though, Offender teleports and catches you.

As your sight dapples away into blackness and L.J's cries for you to say something peter out, you feel the familiar terrible whooshing of teleportation just before the world goes

completely, 

and

   utterly,

           still.

___TIME SKIP___

"Y/N... Y/N... I see your eyelids flickering, are you awake? Or experiencing some kind of terrible neural damage I need to get Slender for?" Claws slide under your neck, against the pillow and sit there cool against your skin as L.J shifts his body, and his chair, more impossibly close to your bed. "Lollipop~ You have to give me a sign, I'm not a real doctor."

"You... play one... pretty well. D-don't you?" You whisper, voice croaky and hard to utilise. Your eyelids are heavy, too, but you manage to peak at him for a moment. He opens his mouth in a sharp grin, relieved.

"So no amnesia then??" He exclaims, excitedly.

"Was that," Coughing into the air, because your body is still too weak to really move, you taste metal on your tongue. "A possibility???"

"Well, Slender didn't say it in those words, but... I feel like it was unspoken."

Knitting your eyebrows together, you start to worry about your condition yourself, before a weight like a folder or a clipboard drops on the bed by your feet and Slender heaves a great sigh.

"You were worried." He says sternly, assuredly to L.J. "You were in no danger of enduring inflicted amnesia, Y/N. L.J just has a wild imagination due to a birth defect called stupidity. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about that."

L.J says nothing in response to that for a moment, and you can imagine him just looking deadpanned at the taller creature. "You're toad, Slender."

"Whatever. However, Y/N, while you do not have amnesia you do have a number of other inflicted injuries and because of that I am suggesting you stay here where you can properly be watched until they're manageable for you to deal with on your own." He pauses, apparently tired of our presence already. "That is unless, of course, you want to rip your many stitches or contract any kind of infectious disease because you trusted the man that thought you had amnesia, and the one that fully trusts in the 'psychologically healing' properties of copious amounts of alcohol," Oh, so that's where Offender is. "to take care of you medically."

"Um," Your voice is high, unsure quite how to respond. Slender and his bluntness does this to you a lot. "No, that's okay? Thanks for offering for me to stay?"

Another cough forces itself suddenly out of your throat from the use of your voice, as your throat is so dry - How long were you asleep?? - and, this time, L.J extends his free arm to gently cover your mouth like you would with your own if you could move right now. As soon as you're done, he retracts his long, loong arm and your stomach squirms pleasantly about how cute and affectionate that was for him.

He takes a deep breath. "Very good. I'm leaving. Offender can read your chart when he gets in here." Then, like a light, the heavy atmosphere that Slender carries with him everywhere disappears from the room and you feel L.J stretch and snatch the folder object at the end of your bed.

"I can read this, thanks." With one hand to hold the thing, L.J peers at it for a moment... for so long, in fact, that you risk your energy to peak at him again just see him use his pointed nose to slide the page up to look at the next one... Before he frisbee-throwing the folder back to the end of the bed and returning his attention fully back to you, crossing one elongated, stripy leg over the other. "Never mind. What’s with this family? They make up there own language?"

Grinning at his antics like you always do, your eyelids fall shut again and you feel the relief of not using so much energy. "I think medical charts everywhere are like that."

"So the whole medical profession started there own code, then. Bastards."

A chuckle escapes you, as you're slipping closer to sleep. "L.J, I think I'm... gonna... go back to sleep... for a bit... "

"You do that. I'll make up jokes."

"Okie, yay... "

As you fall back into the welcoming arms of sleep, L.J puts his free claws to work removing the crinkles out in your bed spread and nightgown- unable to stay still. Unable to leave you alone.

He has to stay with you.

___TIME SKIP___

The next time you open your eyes, Offender has joined L.J, but instead of sitting in a chair he leans sloppily on the wall by the door, evidently still feeling the effects of his 'psychological healing' with the alcohol.

This time you're able to open your eyes a crack and keep them open like that. You’re able to to see the room now, which is basically just like any other bedroom in Slender mansion with hard wood floors and dark walls, except there’s an IV beside you and sheets on the floor.

Again, L.J's keen eye catches your consciousness first. "You're awake again!"

"Hi." You grin in greeting, noticing L.J's claws are on your tummy now, the one on his thumb rubbing up and down a small area.

Offender comes forward immediately and leans close to your face over your bed, draping an arm over the bed frame to hold himself up. "You good there, squirt?" Wincing at the nickname, because it does not come from Finding Nemo, you shift your head on the pillow in a nod. He chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well, you're not, but that's my girl." He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before pulling back and picking up the medical chart on hi way back to the wall. Blowing air out of his cheeks in reaction to the information, he leans back on the wall again and starts reading the 'code'. "Now, lets see what's wrong with ya... "

L.J and you sit - and lay, - at attention as he lists and explains what it says. Some of the things that come out of his mouth do scare you, but honestly most of it was just stuff you expected. You still may be in a bit of shock, to be honest, but at the moment you're just more concerned with the fact that Offender really can read it! Unless he's making it all up, in which case, boo.

When he's done, you're all quiet for a moment, taking in how long that took - and therefore how much damage was really done by that bullet, - before L.J, of course- well, doesn't lift your spirits exactly, but changes the course of the worry in the room, for sure. And that's why you and Offender love him. Well, one of the many reasons. Raising his pointer claw off your stomach, he announces, "I call conspiracy!!"

Offender puts down the chart and crosses his arms, bemused at him. "What this time?"

"These charts. You say this is English??" L.J squints, looking between your and his boyfriend.

"Yeah."

"I don’t buy it. I'm British and I tried to read that, and it was total gibberish. Tell him, Y/N."

"He is British and he did try to read it." You concur.

L.J nods at Offender. "Yep."

"And he did fail." You grin, this time.

L.J nods again, without shame. "Yep."

"Well... " Offender leans menacingly forward, towards L.J who leans back despite them being feet away from each other, then grins. "I read it just fine."

"I feel like I'm being gaslighted."

"Oh jeez." You grin, turning your head on your pillow to set L.J with a look, amused by him.

"Oh, and- Your brother called me stupid. Again. You need to fight for my honour." L.J informs Offender, swivelling in his seat to properly face him, while still holding me.

"Oh, you poor victim, you." Offender shifts, shaking his head amusedly at L.J. "Tut, tut, tut. What a cruel world."

L.J ignores that obvious sarcasm. "Yes, precisely. Oh woe is me, and all that. Hop to it." Nodding to the door promptly, L.J turns back to me. A little grin plays at his black lips.

"Oh sure thing." Offender shakes his head again, before pushing off the wall and straddling the arm of L.J's chair instead. "Anyway, the only honour I care about right now is Y/N's." L.J seems to agree with that, eyes going steely and lips curling at the memory of why you're all in this room in the first place. "So, what'll it be, beautiful? I'm the reason you got hit, so, by Vikings oath I've vowed to endure whatever punishment you decide is necessary." You open your mouth immediately to laugh him off, but he makes no movement like he usually would if he were joking. Instead, he quickly adds, "Go on."

"... hold on, you're German. Aren't Vikings Scandinavian?-"

"Shut up, clown man; I'm old. I've been places. Get with the program."

Rolling your eyes, unintentionally fondly at the two, you look around the room. "Um," Unbelievably croaky, and painfully, you ask. "Get me a cup of water?"

"Oh!-" While Offender quickly teleports off to get you that, L.J just absentmindedly brushes some hair out of your face. Offender comes back in a young moment and they both help you sit up. L.J helps guide you by your hands, while Offender stuffs pillows securely at the base of your back.

"Thanks, guys," You accept the glass of water with a gracious smile. "Thank you."

As you're taking a sip, Offender returns to his spot on the arm of L.J's chair and watches you expectantly, heavily. Swallowing the water, you raise a curious brow. "So? My punishment?"

You nearly choke on the water, but instead take a moment to compose yourself. "Wha- I thought that was the punishment!"

"Getting water??"

"I didn't say please!"

L.J clicks his finger claws, lifting them off you for a moment to point and nod in agreement at Offender. "Right, that's true. She didn't. 'S not her fault you have no sensitivity towards good manners." He turns back to you as Offender makes a perturbed shape with his mouth. "You have lovely manners."

"Thank you!"

"Of course dearest."

"Wha- I- F- hah???" As you and L.J have your 'Old British Sit Com' moment as Offender would always refer to it from then on, he stutters and looks between the two of you confusedly. "Hold on, hold on stop that this instant-" Reaching over and waiving a hand between the two of you as you were looking sweetly at each other, he successfully snaps you both out of it. "Neither of you are taking this seriously. You," He points his finger at L.J, who narrows his eyes at the offending appendage. Probably thinking 'And your manners, are terrible.'. "Shoosh. And you, “ L.J presses his lips firmly closed as Offender turns his stern finger to you, making you sit up straighter at attention. “Come on, baby.” He slips to his knees as you start to fully understand his desperation right now and grips the side of your mattress. His hat slips to cover the top of his face and your eyes flicker to L.J’s, which are also sheened in a very covered layer of worry, and back. “Punish me. It’s my fault. You got bandages and tubes and... fucking bloodstains. I did this. And in order for our relationship to continue healthily you need to get back at me somehow. So come on, one more time I’m gonna say it so L.J if you say something about masochism I will throw you out the window; Y/N, punish me. Goddamnit, please.”

“Offender,” You start in a scolding voice, pushing yourself off the pillows with difficulty, wincing at the pain shooting through your collar bones. When L.J’s eyes flicker over you and your pained features, because, while Offender is clearly perfectly fine with showing his affections, L.J certainly is not. You flash him an ‘its fine’ smile as you push your legs off the end of the bed. “I’m not that hurt! And I’m certainly not upset with you in any way, its not necessary!” 

“You were shot, Y/N!” 

“Yeah, well.” You roll your eyes, as if the infliction wasn't a big deal. Like there are more important things, which in the moment you do think there are in Offender’s outlook at the moment. It honestly scares you. It isn't him. Dropping your hands on his shoulders, you dip your head to look seriously at him. “Its not that bad! I mean, I think Slender woulda told me if I was gonna die, don’t you think? And you read the chart! You know I’ll be okay.” 

“... Yeah, he would've. And then the little punk woulda left the room chuckling."

"Oooh," L.J leans back in his chair, thumb claw between his teeth as he imagines how it would have gone, arctic blues glazed over with imagination. "He totally would... "

Nodding in agreement, you kneed your thumbs into Offender shoulders comfortingly. "Yep. Same thing for if I wasn't going to recover at all. Don't you think?"

"Y/Nnnn,” He groans, resisting. 

“I’ll, be, fine.” Leaning down, you press your forehead to his- breath hitching when you feel your stitches stretching but forcing your self to stay put for a moment. “Don’t feel so guilty. Or, at least try- its an odd colour on you.” 

“Mm.” Offender’s mouth twists like he tasted something gross. Then he sighs, the muscles in his shoulders easing. “Oh, what, you think a good old ‘belligerent’s more me?”

“Maybe a gentle ‘creepy’, at most.” L.J pats his back, breaking out of his dream world. You grin and nod. 

“That work for you?” 

“We can try it on for size.” 

L.J snorts. “Oh, I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” Offender turns and looks up at him, a bemused smile on his face. Still reluctant to let it go, but trying. “What? Does BEN need to re- try on his used condom hat now, too??” 

With that, Offender and you dissolve into barks of laughter, you hiding your pink face in your hands while L.J just shrugs, holding up his hands like ‘Aren't I right though??’. “What?? Its one of your charms!” He adds, a corner of his dark mouth fighting to point up even as he looks confusedly at your shaking bodies. 

“OKAY,” Slender pushes the door open then, interrupting and dropping his shoulders slowly. “I’ve heard enough. It time for Y/N to return to sleep- what. What is she doing out of bed? Put her back. And then, both of you, can get out of my house! ... and take your unfortunate analogies with you.” Shoulders slumping, he then mutters, “... I’ll never be able to look at that hat again without thinking about that... “  

Offender heaves his own sigh, so like his brother in the moment as he pushes himself up and guides you back into a comfortable laying position, muttering himself. “You would think, after so... so, many centuries with that man, I would be immune to his annoyingness... But no.” 

Snickering, L.J leans back in his chair, reaching down into the pockets of his pants as you start to feel exhaustion wash over you again. Slender’s right, you do need more sleep... 

Slender just opens the door more fully and gestures towards it for his brother and Laughing Jack. Slowly, he drawls the next word. “Out?” 

“G’night sweetheart.” Offender gives you another kiss on the forehead, completely ignoring his brother this time. “Just keep thinking about that punishment, okay? Just... keep it in mind.” Chewing on your bottom lip, you wish Offender would let it go... but nod anyway, for his sake. Not like you actually will think about it at all. L.J brushes your hair back after he steps back and taps your forehead gently with his thumb. 

“Sweet dreams lollipop!” 

Then L.J returns to his chair and Offender drags up a chair beside him for himself and Slender grips the door tighter. “Oh, no. No no no. Get, out, of my home.” 

Slowly L.J looks over at Slender, then squishing his butt down further into the chair pointedly, and Offender props his legs up on the end of your bed. You chuckle, and close your eyes. Embarrassed by your weirdly good boyfriends.  They aren't perfect by any, a n y means, but they are pretty cool sometimes. You like them- and that's an understatement. 

“Aghhh, don’t think I’m bringing you dinner.” Slender lets up quickly, disinterested in putting up any fight and rolls his shoulders of you all, closing the door as he walks off. “Hooligans.” 

As you close your eyes, and pull the blankets up further over your body to your chin, relaxing into a resting, sleep exposed state Offender crosses his arms, setting in probably for a nap himself, with no other idea how to pass the silent time and L.J turns promptly to him, with a colourful but mostly black box in his hand. 

“Silent Uno??” 

[supernovanim]

Mutual Abduction Part 2

I was so going to finish this fic in one go, but my friend’s cat got terminally ill today and I have to work out how to comfort her without going round and giving her a hug as that’s not allowed. England is in another lockdown, hope you’re all doing ok out there. I promise to post part 3 later this week, and I promise it will contain proper smut. This part is mainly just weird flirting (and before you ask, yes this is one of my moves and yes it does normally work). You can read Part 1 here and I’ve created a masterlist now too. If you want me to tag you in Part 3 ask in the comments.

Summary: following your abduction by aliens, you’re now trapped in a room with Dylan O’Brien and have to entertain yourselves Pairing: Female Reader x Dylan O’Brien Warnings: So much swearing, imprisonment (non-violent), references to smut Word count: 1,431 Taglist: @hernameisnoellex3​ @beautiful-thinking​

Dylan looked around the room slowly, then back at you. You took a deep breath, not really sure how to handle this.

“Am I dreaming?” he said, running a hand through his scruffy hair distractedly. “One minute I’m on my bed at home, the next minute I’m here. I’m definitely dreaming, right? It’s the only thing that makes any sense”

“Well if it helps, you can pretend you’re dreaming” you replied carefully, not wanting to freak him out more. “But I’m pretty certain it’s real, and we’ve been abducted by aliens. Don’t panic. Seriously – I did that when I first arrived, and it definitely didn’t help”

“Aliens?! No no no – sticking to the dreaming theory. It seems like one of my dreams – weird situation, attractive woman. Although if it was one of my dreams, you’d be wearing less clothes” he looked at you contemplatively, as if he expected you to start removing them.

You let out an amused half snort. “Huh. Yeah…about that” you started and then paused, not really sure how to explain. “Fuck I can’t do this. Hey KITT?”

Yes human female Y/N

At the voice Dylan started and looked around again. “Don’t worry” you told him gently “It seems to be some kind of AI, so far it’s been pretty helpful.” You placed a hand on his arm in an attempt to comfort him and then turned your head towards the red light on the wall. “Can you explain to Dylan why we’re here?”

Certainly We are studying human mating habits You have been selected Once you have mated you will be returned to Earth We mean you no harm

“And before you ask, they said it’s not a human breeding program” you added “Weirdly, I kind of believe them. They’d probably provide protection if we asked”

At that a box of condoms appeared on the small table. You shifted awkwardly and gave him a small smile. “See” you said, “they’ve given me everything I’ve asked for, even if their timing is a little unfortunate”. You side-eyed the red light - in terms of seduction techniques, magically appearing contraception wasn’t the best.

Dylan raised an eyebrow and looked at you. “Right, let me get this straight. I’ve been kidnapped by aliens, and they want me to have sex with you before we can go home?”

“Pretty much sums it up” you stated. “Although I’m not sure if they’ve got any requirements beyond the sex part – it’s their study not mine. Hey Holly?”

Yes human female Y/N

“What exactly do you need us to do here? Mating habits is a little vague – is it just the sex?” you questioned, secretly hoping it wasn’t. Dylan had featured heavily in your recent fantasies; you couldn’t help wanting to play some of them out.

We are studying all aspects of mating We would like to learn about a lot of aspects we have only gathered from literature These include…

There was a pause, as if the computer was accessing some kind of databank

Flirting Pick ups French Kissing Hickeys Hand Jobs Blow Jobs Eating Out Spanking Choking Nipp-

“Ok, ok!” you yelled, feeling your face heat up “That’s…um…plenty to be…getting on with. Do we…er…have to do all of that before you send us home?”

No We will terminate the experiment when both subjects are satisfied

“Right, that’s pretty clear then.”

You looked at Dylan, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. He however appeared more relaxed than before, a twinkle playing in his amber eyes.

“This is so a dream. Fancy giving me a hand job while I finger you?” he smirked

Now your face was definitely hot. You swallowed hard and found yourself unable to drag your eyes from his.

“Let’s just…ease into this” you mumbled, and his smile widened “Down boy – I mean let’s try the flirting thing first.”

You grabbed his hand and led him over to the couch, which was large and black and made of very squishy looking leather. As you sat down, he kept hold of your fingers and ran one of his against your palm, sending a shiver of anticipation up your arm. Resisting the urge to skip the talking and clamber straight into his lap, you settled next to him with your legs tucked underneath you.

He spoke first “I’m not that great with flirting really. Always just met people at work, or through friends. Never been able to just walk up to someone in a bar or club.”

“Well hotshot actors probably don’t need to use pick-up lines.” you said teasingly “You can just wait for people to come to you. It’s a bit more difficult for us mere mortals. C’mon though – you must have some moves – hit me with your best”

“No, no really – zero moves. I’m moveless. How about you – what’s your most fool proof method?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.

“You’ll laugh”

“Doubtful. Go on, hit me up” he smirked

“Right, you asked for it” you told him “hey JARVIS?”

Yes human female Y/N

“Can you set Mario Kart up on this thing and give us two controllers?” you gestured towards what looked like a flatscreen tv set into the wall opposite the sofa

Searching data banks Sending information to interplanetary graphic device screen Certainly human female Y/N

And two controllers appeared on the sofa next to you as the familiar intro came up on the screen.

“Mario Kart” Dylan’s eyes widened disbelievingly “your big move is…Mario Kart”

“Nope. My big move is beating you at Mario Kart. Knock their egos down to size, then build them back up again. Works every time. 100% success rate” you laughed at him, tossing one of the controllers in his direction.

Dylan looked thoughtful “are you sure it doesn’t work because by this point they’ve already come home with you? Kind of a foregone conclusion.”

“No it works earlier than that - ‘do you play Mario Kart?’ is an awesome opening line” you smiled “fool proof”

“And what if they say no?”

“Well...” you lowered your voice and bit your bottom lip suggestively, looking at him through lowered lashes “would you like to learn? Maybe I could…teach you a thing or two. Back at my place”

Dylan looked at your lips and swallowed “huh. Oh...ok I see what you mean. That’s kinda hot.” He seemed to be breathing more heavily. “Not sure about the beating me bit though, prepare to have your ass kicked”

“No way hotshot. Choose your character. I’m always Toad. You seem more like a Peach type” you teased, already mashing buttons

He looked at you disbelievingly “Oh it’s on. I was going to let you win because you’re sexy, but now you’re going down”

“No, you’re going down. And when you’re beaten, you can go down on me” you promised. Dylan nearly dropped his controller in surprise. Ha - this was going to be easy, you thought to yourself.

It was fun, and in the end he was pretty easy to beat. You let him win a couple of races until he let his guard down, and then deployed your sneak attacks. Sneak attacks included nudging your leg with his, smoothing a hand down his denim-clad thigh, leaning forward until the curve of your tits jutted up, and some really suggestive smack talk. By the end you could tell he was frustrated, breathless and -  you glanced down at his lap – already half hard.

“So…” you pondered, turning towards him on the couch as on the screen Toad jumped up and down on the podium “That was my move. Did it work?”

He smiled slowly at you, his eyes full of lust and something else you couldn’t place “That was incredible, but…” he hesitated, and your heart sank “this isn’t a dream is it? It’s too real, and in a dream you wouldn’t have beaten me”

“Look, don’t overthink it” you reassured him. “I say just relax, go along with it, worry about the wider meaning later. Live in the moment”

“Hmm” he was still hesitating

“What would help you here?” you asked “I’m sure Skynet can get us some accessories. Handcuffs, lube, blindfold…”

At your words the items started appearing on the small table across the room. You giggled and continued on.

“Cock rings, vibrators, dildo, sex swing” enough stuff was piling up that some of it fell to the floor with a crash “love eggs, butt plugs, paddles, tick..”

“Argh! Shut the fuck up” Dylan interrupted forcefully, and at your answering smirk he reached out and fisted a hand in the material of your top, pulling you hard towards him and silencing you with a desperate kiss.

[velvetthunder1999]

All the time on Earth

Part 18 - Detention

Summary: Umbridge makes you write horrible things while George watches

(I have read many wonderful fics like this before I started writing this story, but I just really wanted to create my own scene. Hope you enjoy :) )

Warnings: Angst, Blood

Word count: 2.8K

George Weasley x Reader // Fred Weasley x Reader (platonic)

Song: The chapter was inspired by The Killers - Be Still

Masterlist

As Monday five o’clock arrived, you and George headed towards Umbridge’s office with as little enthusiasm as possible. You were suppose to finish an essay for Potions and you also had to practice for Charms… But no, the old toad had made sure that you wouldn’t finish with anything. Detention… Seriously? You snorted in disgust.

“I agree,” muttered George as you two walked the corridors towards Umbridge’s office. “I say let’s finish this one quick and maybe we can still do something after.”

“Sounds good to me,” you said.

As you arrived to Umbridge’s office, you had to realise you weren’t the only ones sentenced to detention today. Next to the door was a Ravenclaw girl standing, not far from her a younger Hufflepuff boy was looking out the window. And, on a stone bench sitting was…

“Harry!” George called and you walked over to him. “Joining the fun?”

“Hey,” he said, with not much joy in his voice. He looked at you. “What are you in for?”

“Going out after curfew,” you rolled your eyes. “Ridiculous, really.”

“D’you know what we’ll have to do?” asked George.

Harry hesitated. Then he cleared his throat and said, “Lines.”

Before you could had answered, the door of Umbridges office opened and a girlish voice form inside said, “Inside, please.”

All five of you stepped inside and saw Umbridge sitting at her desk with a wide smile. Seeing her teeth made your stomach wince. On the tables in front of her were already lying the parchments and some quills.

“Take a seat.”

You walked to the seat next to the window, hoping you might see something interesting while you work, and George came with you. Umbridge stood up from her chair, though that didn’t make her taller by an inch.

“Tut, tut, Mr Weasley, please choose an other seat. You too, Mr Potter. We wouldn’t like to distrach each other now, do we?”

George rolled his eyes at you and you smirked. He changed seats with the Ravenclaw girl, and Harry sat down to the other side of the Hufflepuff boy. Umbridge shot a satisfied smile at you.

“Well done. Now, as you can see, what we’ll do today is some lines. In front of you you can find everything you need, however I tell you what you need to write, since every one of you is here to be punished for something else.” She giggled. You shivered.

“Mr Potter, I believe I don’t need to tell you what to do. Start, please.”

You saw Harry shooting an angry look at Umbridge, then he looked at his paper, took the quill in his hand and started writing without ink. You raised an eyebrow.

“Now, Mr Pickett,” she looked at the Hufflepuff boy. “I need you to write ‘I musn’t be late with my homework’ for me, is that clear?”

The boy nodded sadly. She stepped to the left.

“Mr Weasley, your line will be ‘I musn’t break the rules’. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” said George in a defiant tone.

“Yes, what, Mr Weasley?”

“Yes… Professor Umbridge.”

“Perfect. Now, Miss Lance,” she stepped to the girl. “You will write ‘I mustn’t disrespect authority’. Tut, tut… From a Ravenclaw student I expected more…” she giggled. “…obedience.”

She stepped in front of you and her smile widened. You looked at her with doubtful anticipation. She chuckled.

“Now, we have arrived to the most important lesson of the day,” she said with some kind of weird excitement. “Miss Y/L/N here is a great example of how some… older traditions are supposed to be supported.”

What the bloody hell was she talking about? You wished she’d shut up and you could start  writing already. Umbridge looked at you with a wide smile.

“I understand you and Mr Weasley here are quite fond of each other…”

You raised an eyebrow and your eyes met with George’s for a second. He looked just as startled as you. Umbridge shook her head.

“Now, now… What a shame. My heart truly breaks to the thought of separating two young lovers… However, I cannot just sit and watch as our greatness descents due to… interference.”

“What do you mean?” you blurted out. You had a really bad feeling. Umbridge raised her voice.

“You’re a muggleborn, dear?”

“Yes…?”

Her smile widened. Her eyes were glimmering.

“Your line is ‘I mustn’t mix with purebloods’.”

Everybody in the room turned to you in shock. You looked at Umbridge, taken aback, not understaning a thing that was happening.

“I’m… I’m sorry?”

“You can’t do that!” George shot an angry look at the woman. Umbridge ignored him.

“Yes, yes, dear. I want you to write those lines for me.”

You considered walking out. Running to McGonagall, telling her what an ugly toad this woman is… But at the same time you felt anger and you didn’t want to run away. You wanted to show her that you didn’t care. It doesn’t matter what she says. You will write the bloody lines and then get out of here and forget it ever happened.

George shifted in his chair. You looked at him; his face was red from anger. You shook your head. ‘It’s just lines’, you tried to say without words to him, ‘Just empty words. Don’t worry about it’. He was breathing very fast. You locked eyes with him for long seconds, then he finally nodded and turned to his parchment.

In the meantime Umbridge walked back to her desk and sat down. She looked at all of you and said, “Start, please.”

“We don’t have any ink,” said the Ravenclaw girl.

“You don’t need any, dear,” said Umbridge with a giggle.

“How many times?” you said. Umbridge smiled again, this time so widely you saw her pointy teeth.

“Until you learn it, dear. Now, start writing.”

She pulled some papers in front of her, and started marking essays. You took the quill and heard the girl next to you quietly groan in surprise. You didn’t care. You just wanted to get it done and get out of here.

You wrote ‘I mustn’t mix with purebloods’.

You winced as you felt a sharp pain on the back of your hand. You saw and felt at the same time, how the letters carved themselves into your skin. Your jaw dropped. The wound healed. You looked at the quill. You felt George’s glance at you. Then he stood up, kicking his chair behind.

“Now, now, Mr Weasley, think about what you’re going to say,” sang Umbridge, without looking up from her work. “Sit.”

“What if I don’t sit?” he said, his voice shaking in anger.

“Then I have to make sure to send Miss Y/L/N to detention every day for the rest of this month, since you’re preventing her to learn her message.”

George turned his head to look at you. You didn’t look at him.

“Sit down, Mr Weasley.”

He didn’t.

“Sit down, Mr Weasley!” said Umbridge, this time without smiling.

Hesitantly, but he sat down and took the quill again. You were sitting two tables from him but you still heard his quill tapping fastly on the table in his shaking hand.

“Write your lines, please,” said Umbridge.

And so you did.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods. I mustn’t mix with purebloods. I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

Your hand trembled every time the quill cut into it. You didn’t dare to look up.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

After what seemed like half an hour, you heard the Hufflepuff boy sniffling.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

The quill cut into your skin deeper and deeper.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

After an hour and a half the pain in your hand was so intense and constant that you didn’t feel the quill cutting into it anymore.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

The whole room was quiet.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

It started to get darker and darker. You must had been here for at least two hours.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

After what seemed like the third hour, the Hufflepuff boy way sobbing. Umbridge waited at least thirty minutes more before called him to her.

“That’s enough for today, dear,” she said after examining his hand. “You can go.”

The four of you stayed. After the next cut blood started dripping onto your parchment.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

The cut didn’t seem to heal so fast anymore. After another hour your eyes started to sting from tiredness.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

“Come here, Harry, dear.”

Harry stood up, showed his hand and Umbridge let him go, too.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

Blood was soaking your parchment. Its smell made you nauseous. On the back of your hand, the red letters were shining, not healing anymore. Every sentence hurt more and more.

I mustn’t mix with purebloods.

“Miss Y/L/N, your hand, please,” said Umbridge after twenty minutes. You stood up and walked to her desk, leaving blood everywhere on the floor. She took your hand with a smile. “Ah, good, good. Do you think you learned your lesson?”

You were looking over her shoulder at the disgusting kitten plates. You nodded in silence.

“Excellent. You may go, dear.”

You turned away and walked to the door. You saw from the corner of your eyes that George turned his head towards you. You didn’t look at him. You stepped outside without saying a word, then started walking towards the common room. It was lucky your feet seemed to remember the way, cause you didn’t see anything. You were staring in the distance, trying to hold back everything that was about to burst out of you. You reached the Fat Lady, mumbled something, and stepped inside.

The common room was almost empty, it must had been very late. Fred was sitting on the couch by the fireplace, he was waiting for you and George. When he saw you entering, he waved at you with a smile.

“Finally, I almost fell asleep —,” when he saw your dreadful expression he stood up in concern. His smile faded. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You took a deep breath… and you started crying.

“Y/N!”

Fred took a scared step towards you but you couldn’t hold back anymore. You ran to him, swung your arms around his neck and sobbed.

“Y/N, what happened?” he asked but you were unable to answer. Fred carefully hugged you, soothing your hair. “Please, tell me — Where’s George?”

You sobbed even harder when you heard his name. You couldn’t believe what just happened. This cannot be real. It can’t. But when you opened your eyes, you saw the blood on your hand and you quickly buried your face into Fred’s neck because that was the only refuge you had in the moment.

Fred might had realized that he won’t be able to get a straight answer from you. His anxious voice was whispering into your ear, while he softy caressed your back, still holding you close.

“It’s okay… It’s okay, Y/N… Shh… you’re okay… I’m here… It’s okay… It’s okay…”

The Fat Lady opened and you felt Fred looking up. You jerked your head that way, too, and saw George, standing there, a miserable expression on his face. He held out his hand for you and you ran to him, letting him embrace you, taking in his smell, feeling his arms around you, and you felt a bit safer, you felt a bit better, you were not so scared anymore, because if he was here then that meant that things would be okay…

“Please, one of you tell me what’s goin — Is that blood?!”

Fred’s outraged voice came from closer as he looked at George’s hand. He gasped.

“No…”

“Yes,” said George hoarsly. “Come here, come, let’s sit down…”

He led you to the couch and sat down first, pulling you into his lap.

“You have a rag or something?”

Fred searched his pockets and gave George a handkerchief. George rubbed a finger across your face.

“Can I see it?”

No, no he couldn’t. You didn’t want him to see it. That would make it way too real. You shook your head.

“Please… please, let me —” his voice cracked. “Let me see it.”

Slowly, very slowly you raised your hand a little. It already left a bloody mark on your shirt. Though it wasn’t bleeding anymore, the letters were easily readable. George took your wrist, but his hand was shaking from the anger. On his other hand, you saw his reddish sentence healing slowly. Your stomach wrenched.

You buried your face into George’s chest while he was cleaning your hand. You winced in pain every time he accidentaly touched the scar; he made sure to always apologize after that. When he finished, you didn’t move. You closed your eyes, trying to calm your sniveling, while Fred demanded for the thousandth time the explanation of all this. George, still caressing your hair, told him everything.

“That fucking toad!” said Fred at once. “That disgusting, abnormal, loathsome old bitch — I show her… I show her something she’ll never forget.”

He stood up from the couch in rage, taking out his wand. You raised your head in fear.

“No, please…” your voice sounded like it belonged to a smoke addict. “Please, Fred, no.”

“Y/N… I can’t let her do this, I… What about you?” he asked, looking at George. “Don’t you think she should pay for this?”

George’s hand was still shaking. You gently intertwined your fingers with his and looked up into his enraged face. His cheeks were pale, his lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes suggested nothing but wrath. But as he looked at you, his gaze softened.

“Please, don’t do anything…” you said. “I don’t want you getting into an even bigger trouble.”

“So we should just leave it, then?” said Fred indignantly. “Let her have her laugh?”

“No, I… that’s not what I…”

“We tell McGonagall,” said George. “Tomorrow, first thing in the morning. This is more than just something that can be payed back with a prank or a Nosebleed Nougat. This is serious.”

Fred was obviously keen to do something right now, but when you nodded he sat back onto the couch. You turned your head towards the fire that was almost out.

“I’m so tired,” you whispered. “When I’m home I’m unwanted because I’m a witch… When I’m here I’m unwanted because I’m a muggleborn —”

“You’re not unwanted,” said Fred and George in unison. You sniffled.

“That’s good to know.”

You dared to take a glance at your hand. George had cleaned the blood away, and the scar seemed to heal slowly.

The three of you were sitting on the couch for at least twenty minutes in silence, which, from the twins was coming as quite unusual. Fred was staring at George’s hand, barely blinking, jaw clenched. You were looking out the window to the night sky, watching the moon passing by, dazing off in George’s lap. George was holding you tight, his chin resting on the top of your head, occasionally pressing a small kis on your hair. Only when you almost fell asleep, you felt movement on the couch again and Fred’s voice echoed in the empty common room.

“… sleep. Don’t leave her alone.”

“Wasn’t going to.”

Steps, then a door creaked. You felt a soft touch on your cheek.

“Are you asleep?”

You opened your eyes.

“No.”

“Come. You should sleep with me tonight. We’ll take care of the rest tomorrow, all right?”

“Yes.”

You stood up and he automatically reached to hold your hand. You winced.

“I’m sorry!” he said in a panicky voice. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay,” you said, fighting your tears again. The pain reminded you of what had happened an hour earlier. “Let’s just go.”

He lead you to his dormitory and let you go inside. Lee was already asleep, and if Fred was awake, he didn’t show it. You sat down onto George’s bed while he took off his robes.

“Can you…,” you sniffled. “Can you give me something to sleep in?”

“Of course,” he was searching in his trunk. “Here. Is this okay?”

He handed you a soft shirt. It smelled so much like him. Fireworks. Your lip trembled and you were glad he couldn’t see your face in the dark. You changed quickly and climbed into George’s arms. He put the blanket over your shoulder and you wrapped a leg over his tighs. You rested your head on his chest.

“Are you okay Georgie?” you asked quietly. “Does yours hurt a lot?”

“I’m all right, love.”

“Are you telling the truth?”

“Always.”

You nodded.

“I don’t know if I can sleep properly,” you said.

“It’s okay,” he said huskily. “Just remember that I’m here. I’m gonna be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere.”

His hand found its way under your shirt, he was tenderly soothing your back. If anything, it made you a bit calmer. You could breath a bit more easily. After a while your tears dried up and you were dazing off in George’s arms.

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

Something more infinite (George Weasley x reader) ch. 5

Chapter 5. Can we make an alliance, please? 

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

word count: 1.4K

warnings: light swearing. 

You were dying. Not literally but it sure felt like it. Your seventh year was supposed to be full of parties, trips to Hogsmeade, a little studying and a lot of anxiety about the N.E.W.T’s but so far, thanks to a miss Dolores Jane Umbridge, you’d only been able to enjoy the last two on that list, and you were so done. Not only was your last year at Hogwarts difficult from an academic point of view, but with the parties and practical jokes gone it was also boring, which was almost worse. You’d tried to escape Umbridge’s reign by shutting yourself  in the library, determined to ace your exams even if you were going to die of boredom trying. It was much better than getting in trouble and having your hand scratched to pieces by that bloody quill anyways. Fred and George had seemed to take an opposite stance. They’d taken every setback as a challenge to see just how much chaos they could create, no matter the punishment. Now that they’d been booted from the quidditch team, their only outlet for their frustrations were pranks and their product testing. Weirdly, George had not been bugging you. He’d noticed you were hiding out in the library and, you assumed, that he’d taken it as a sign of defeat from you. Generally, George had been acting strange since the yule ball. After you’d calmed down, you’d thought over the words exchanged between the two of you. You’d thought about how, in your fury and sadness, you’d not even stopped to take in what George had said. And more importantly; how he’d said it. 

You look really beautiful tonight. 

The way he’d said it. You thought about it constantly because you just couldn’t peg the emotion behind it. It wasn’t the same, slightly snarky and sarcastic tone. The intonation had been so un-playful, so downright and...honest. But it couldn't be. To think that George Weasley could have sincerity enough to compliment you would be insane. He wouldn't’. But he had. He did compliment you, and you had been too far gone to even take notice of it. After he’d said it, there had seemed to be a shift of air between you, at least from his side. He’d become much more quiet around you, and his interferences with your business had become scarce, with almost none of his old self shining through. And you didn’t know how to deal with it, which was another reason to stay in the library and common room, it was easier to stay by yourself, where you didn’t have to confront the weird behaviour from George, which had (in the few times you two had talked alone that year) resulted in you becoming even more frustrated with him now that he’d stopped playing into the feud that you fully intended on keeping going, or deal with Umbridge’s bullshit, for that matter. So here you were, deeply invested in a charms essay, reading up on the potential dangers of mispronunciation of incantations and the reversion of unsuccessful spells. That was until a person pulled out a chair in front of you and sat down, a pair of elbows setting themselves down on the table top. 

“Hello,” He drew out the word, “What’re you up to?” 

“Busy,” you replied, which was true, the essay was due two days from now, and you had yet to begin on the essay for potions which was due the day after that, 

“Busy doing what?” He asked, his tone unchanged, 

“Reading,” you said, hoping the way you said it translated to go away, 

“Reading what?” he continued, 

You sighed heavily, “Alright, out with it,” you say, and without looking up from your book, you can hear him sitting back in his chair, “What do you want, Weasley?” you add, hating how good you’d gotten at sensing his smugness, 

“I’m here,” he says, as if he’s presenting you with the most exclusive opportunity of your life, “to propose an alliance,” his voice is lowered, his tall frame leaned in over the table, his whole demeanor as if he’d relied information of the highest confidentiality, you weren’t going to play along nicely just because he’d decided he was bored enough to give you his time, 

“Abso-fucking-lutely not,” you articulate, 

“Please, Y/n, I know you can’t stand her either!”  George beckons, his hands gesticulating in front of him, 

“You know what I can’t stand, George?�� You snap the book closed and silently revel in the way he tenses up, only showing his start by a bit of excessive blinking, “-that we’ve been going at each other’s throats for five bloody years and somehow, despite all my attempts, you’re still here refusing to fuck off,” you voice raises into a whispered shouting promptly earning a stern shushing from Madam Pince, 

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” he says, “If the toad keeps going the way she is you can expect me to be out of your hair sooner than expected,” he looks out the window, his eyes just getting misty with thought, before he turns back to you with a shit-eating grin, “as much as the thought of not being able to annoy you bugs me,” he winks at you and you, in turn, make a nauseated grimace as something turns in your stomach. 

“Well, if you change your mind about that alliance, you’ll know where to find us, who knows, perhaps if we worked together, we’d be able to take her down,” he says, before knocking on the table once, rising from his seat and leaving. You try to return to your book with a stern “I seriously doubt it,” muttered to yourself while you find the page you left but even as your eyes begin to scan the words your brain can only focus on what George meant by getting out of your hair sooner than you expected. Was he planning on leaving? you’d never even thought of Hogwarts without that shit-eating grin following you around, ruining your every plan and good day. You just wished you could explain why the thought filled you with a strange empty feeling in the pit of your stomach. Over the next few days you think more about a life at Hogwarts without George, and what that would mean for you. You decide, as much as you hate to admit it, that you would rather give in and make an alliance with George than go the rest of the year without him at all. It’s not that you like him, no you couldn’t like George Weasley like that but you still don’t want to see him go just yet. 

“I accept your offer,” You find him coming in through the main entrance after a Herbology class, his hair is matted down and sticking to his face, wet from the heavy rain that showers the grounds outside, he looks confused, 

“Your alliance, Weasley,” you say, rolling your eyes, “I’m saying I want in,” you look at your feet, “even though it kills me a little to admit it,” you mumble. 

Silence. Except for the sound of wet shoes on cobblestone as students come filing in from lessons outside, a group of fourth years laugh at their collective disheveled state but George doesn’t speak. You look up and to your surprise he looks disappointed. 

“What?” You ask, genuinely interested, this was a good thing? you were giving him what he loved the most; the upperhand, so why was he looking like you’d just snapped his wand in half? 

“Well I was hoping you would,” he trails off, biting his lip, your eyes dance over his face, which is difficult to read, he looks like he’s about to say different things at once before settling on, “It’s just that we’re leaving this friday, during the exams,” he says, and now you’re also disappointed. You fight not to show it as you nod and let out a small “oh, right,” 

“But I appreciate your willingness to cooperate,” he says, a smile playing on his lips, but it’s not as cheerful as it usually is, the corners of his mouth tugged downwards by a sadness that you can both feel but can’t explain. 

“Once the shop’s finished, you better come see me,” he says, beginning to walk away, he turns around, facing you as he walks up the first steps on the stairs in the entrance hall, “who knows? maybe we can find another thing to collaborate on?” and he smirks. That’s the last time you see that very smirk at Hogwarts and you feel more hollow than ever as you graduate.

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