#like toward shitty people
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NO wait this is my last point actually even though i’m on a tangent now. but i do think it is at least somewhat related to people’s inability to let go of punitive justice. like we could kill every bigot that means us harm in one fell swoop, and that still would not change anything. that would not do anything. the machine will just keep churning them out
you have to kill the machine or it doesn’t fucking matter
#also obligatory 'punishment' is not the same as 'consequences'#HOWEVER#on the whole individual responsibility is conservative ideology#like yes people should face consequences for their actions HOWEVER#at the end of the day there are more times than not where these transgressions#would not have happened in the first place#if peoples needs were met#if people had community bonds#if white evangelical modes of living and family structure were abolished#like obviously not in a utopian No One Ever Does Bad Things way#but just. in terms of the majority#like imagine how much violence would be eradicated in the first place#if we completely dismantled poverty and misogyny and white supremacy#also big disclaimer this is not ANY statement of how one should feel personally#like toward shitty people#i still actively fantasize about every bigot politician exploding on national television#i'm just talking about like. in terms of actual practical solution#lmfao
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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vague-posting about this here cuz i don't feel comfortable yapping about my su takes on twitter, but after everything that's happened the most interesting thing about the su fandom to me is that so many are 100% there for applying the "everyone can change and deserves a second chance" message to everyone, even the diamonds. except for one ☝️ she doesn't count. cuz she's dead.
#personal#very extremely delete later#ok cutting the vague post this is about a “whose the worst cartoon mom” twt post with pink diamond in the running#and a bunch of people pointing at her. the woman who died in childbirth and never got to meet her child. and she's literally next to#mother gothel. the baby kidnapper who kidnapped a baby#i'm always gonna be a pink diamond nuancepilled defender. she was a shitty entitled teen who grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth#then got self-radicalized and rebelled for both selfish AND selfless reasons#“this show is great because everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. except the pink one. she's bad and dead forever.”#anyways this is a crit towards the fandom not the show#“she had steven so she could selfishly escape her mistakes and put all her burdens on her child” or she wanted a child#“she abandoned her family” or she died during childbirth#“she started a war that got thousands of gems killed and mutilated” and if she hadn't nobody on earth would exist#the fact that some fans are more willing to jump to white diamond’s defense when talking about her reformation and redemption#white diamond—the architect and supreme ruler of a 10000+ year old fascist empire—has 10000% done worse more unforgivable things than pink#guys even blue diamond has shattered gems before. like not just kill them but permanently split their souls into pieces.#ruby called her a “SHATTERER.” she was INFAMOUS for murdering people. pink never shattered anyone#for fans of a show that explicitly says nobody's truly a villain you guys sure do want a villain really badly#anyways “we need more compelx female characters y'all couldn't even handle rose quartz” etc. etc. etc.
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When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this
#spaghetti speaks#minor blood#I know this image is typically used in positive contexts but it felt fitting here too#Also you probably know what I’m talking about if you’ve spoken to me before#The AM speech but aimed toward this one particular series because the rage it causes is GRAHH#it had so much potential#it could’ve been so so good#YOU COULD'VE KEPT THE PILOT PLOT INSTEAD OF INSTANTLY ABANDONING IT IN FAVOR FOR ONE OF THE WORST ROUTES A STORY CAN GO IN#I’m so mad because I WISH I could like it#I WISH I could make art for it- the character designs are fun to draw#but I’m not a fan of it#I have a visceral hatred of the series and its creator#but I’m alone in the opinion#minus my friends who agree with me#but I just#I don’t understand#I feel like if it was made by a bigger studio- people would hate it as much as me#Steven Universe was written significantly better than it- I’m sorry#SU got so much shit for years- this is praised everywhere I see#I could explain every single problem I have with this series and people will defend it#it’s so popular despite nothing being resolved or making sense#The people behind the studio were revealed to be shitty to employees but no one cares because this series got a new episode#GRRRRRGHGGHH#I hate the characters- I hate the nonsensical plot- I hate the plot holes- I hate the villain- I hate the wasted potential#I’d hijack this series and make a Snoot Game type thing if I could- my autistic ass will make this better#I'm not arrogant I’m just saying the writing is on the floor and it doesn’t take much to just fix it up and make it pretty#I’m ranting#sorry#I’m very passionate about things like this#Inorganic killers
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Serendipity should be required viewing material before anyone tries to analyze Homestuck; not only is John Cusack a universal constant, but the themes and vibes of Serendipity are so fundamentally woven into Homestuck's DNA that several of Serendipity's thesises and conversations could be lifted directly from one to the other.
In particular, the way Serendipity utilizes coincidence and circumstantially simultaneous events in order to suggest - nay, decree - that the two leads belong together, is highly reminiscent of the way Hussie uses foreshadowing, and not just for romantic couples. It's also a major window into the ultimate stance Homestuck takes with regard to romance, fate, and destiny, and also more specifically, a really good look at Karkat's own personal philosophies of romance. There's a running theme in his movies of meeting someone that perfectly matches your freak, someone you don't ever need to compromise yourself around, who brings out the best in you.
Also, some of yall need to watch a shitty romcom every once in a while and develop some emotions
#I'm genuinely not joking#if you want to understand Karkat and Homestuck better you need to watch Serendipity#at the very least so you can understand what the comic means by soul mates#i mean it's literally NAMEDROPPED during the troll romance section as the ultimate expression of finding your soul mates in every quad#people literally will be like 'i like karkat' and not watch serendipity smh#anyway the karkat movie list is serendipity • hitch • 50 first dates#he calls serendipity and hitch specifically 'pure magic' and yes. yeah.#i know we all love to clown on karkat's love of embarrassing romcoms and we're right to do so it's hilarious#but hussie also unironically calls it the best character trait he gave karkat and hes soooo correct about that#and you can tell from the way serendipity and even 50 first dates are described that those are kind of hussies genuine feelings toward them#hes right 50 first dates DOESN'T make you want to punch adam sandler#despite the occassional uncomfortable lowbrow comedy segment everything about the romance is played so straight and so genuine#maybe this shitty adam sandler romcom made me cry maybe im man enough to admit it#and idrk how else to describe serendipity besides 'pure magic'#tbh just watch it for yourself#homestuck is like 30% serendipity by volume
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do you actually view nonbinary people as non-binary or as binary people too scared to come out
this is a wild thing to ask someone who’s very openly not binary. like what even prompted you to send this? even if you didn’t know that i’m not binary trans, what have i said that would lead you to think i don’t believe in nonbinary people? is it just the fact that i’m a trans man and talk about being one on here? because sometimes it really feels like that’s all it takes for some of y’all to just assume i hate nonbinary people, as if those are mutually exclusive categories (which is ironically an exorsexist assumption in itself).
anyway, if it needed to be said, of course i view nonbinary people as nonbinary. it would be very silly of me to feel differently given that i’m not a binary trans person myself and that most of the trans people i’m close to in real life are nonbinary. i would strongly encourage you to ask yourself what it is about me that made you feel the need to ask me this in the first place.
#i am. so tired#anon hate#<- idc if it wasn’t meant as that or doesn’t seem that way to other people bc at this point? i’m done treating these as genuine questions#like this is what i mean when i talk about how frustrating it is to be a trans man with a complex gender#bc it really feels like other nonbinary people will just. see that you’re a man and assume not only that you’re not part of the community#but that you must be actively hostile toward it#idk. maybe i’m reading too much into this question but it feels shitty and i’m not gonna pretend it doesn’t
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Is it me or...
Is Han Sooyoung from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint very similar to our resident hamster?
#plagiarist vs shitty author#i don't know if they would get along or hate each other#both are side characters who help the main character#while having less memory about the novel they're in#while the main character hates them because of the way they wrote their stories#SQQ and Kim Dokja are like#see the shit I have to deal with#SQQ: so did you also marry the protagonist?#Kim Dokja: no way!#Yoo Junghyuk is a fucking overpowered edgelord#SQQ *thinking about PIDW*: haha yeah?#LBH was nothing like that...#LBH and Yoo Junghyuk would probably try to kill each other on sight#Yoo Junghyuk because he wants to 'test his strength#or some other edgy reason#LBH because he doesn't need more people falling in love with SQQ#shang qinghua#airplane shooting towards the sky#han sooyoung#mxtx#mxtx svsss#svsss#scum villian self saving system#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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Once again I am providing y'all with images that make no sense without sharing braincells with me
#gopher art#sfm#tfc medic#tfc engineer#tfc heavy#team fortress 2#team fortress classic#i'm exaggerating. Literally all the hcs are is like. Cheavy is a huge bully toward cmedic (because he. like the tf2 community. is both gay#AND homophobic. i know its a shitty trope. but it fits to me) and that's why TFC doesnt have a medic in the comics#because Cheavy's abusive behavior made Cmedic leave TFi as soon as his contract was up. Fred Connagher was his only friend at the time#and he never knew how to help Sean (my take on Cmedic's name) which made him feel helpless and made him more emotionally closed off#which he tried to instill in his son to keep him from being caught up in other people's problems like he had been
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Definitely a little controversial but tbh I'm a "Crowfeather would have been a bad dad to the three if he and Leafpool succeeded in running or if he knew about them" truther.
#even in canon hes vitriolic towards them at least when he first learns about them#sureee you can argue that him mistreating breeze was him thinking he had kits with the wrong girl#and overall just having him for the status buuuuut. i mean tbh leaf was a rebound imo.#i think he loved the idea of her being a breathing ''feathertail lived'' au and would have been pissed#seeing her longterm outside of the clans when her ''flaws'' would come out#i think he'd look at the three and feel resentful that theyre not feathertail's. or at least he'd want just leafpool#not this extra ''baggage''#realistically if i were to tackle a ''leaf and crow succeeded in running away'' au then crow would have ditched leaf with the kids#like we know he doesnt like children and we know hes capable of being a shitty dad and being cruel to leaf#so it feels almost a bit wrong to me when people say ''he wouldve been like this if they ran away'' and hes a clingy loving dad#sorry lol i think hes gonna get pissy with jaykit the same way he was pissy with breezekit
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"this man, is weird.. CRAZY weird.." "he was always very bright.."
#i think abt this soo often u have no idea#no one understands them like i do.. sighh..#platonic or romantic idc There is something Happening there#this also implies that sammy doesn't hate norman/displays some form of positive feeling towards him#bc it's shown in canon that he doesn't rlly like many ppl in the studio#and despite sammy's descent into insanity norman still appreciated him for who he was#they way norman talks abt sammy in his first audio log feels so personal too#probably kicked his feet and giggled abt him idk man#like okaayy what u kno abt him pooks... something u wanna tell me.. twirls my hair/..#IM SO ILL OH MY GODDDDDDDD#CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#i could go on a full 2 hour youtube rant abt how tragic they are#both together and as separate people#and dont even get me STARTED on the reason for norman's heart obsession while in the cycle and why he collects them#UGGHHHHHHHH KICKS THE WALL PUNCHES THE FLOOR I HATE THE FLOOR#been mentally ill about them since 2017 ❤ we up#at least until my pea sized 8 yr old child brain found out normmy was a thing#finding that shitty ms paint ship art changed my life..#theyre literally my og otp 5eva nothing will top them ever#smushing their faces together like barbies type shit#i do wish they had some kind of interaction actual gameplay wise in batim (or even batdr)#idc what kind i just need to see them in the same room together interacting in some way#batim#bendy and the ink machine#normmy#sammy lawrence#norman polk#norman x sammy#rosey rambles#I LOVE DOOMED YAOI
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Fuck it! I don't care how stuck up it makes me sound. I have no beef with AI art as a tool or method, but I really don't like otherwise able-bodied and able-minded adults looking at me and other artists practicing our craft, which we train and hone over years, with disdain and act like we're greedy for wanting to be paid for our work, and then asserting that not only are we now obsolete, but they're JUST AS TALENTED as any artist because they can type 'Angel with large breasts in the style of George Rutko with well-drawn hands artstation' into dall-e and get legible results. I don't like it, and like any person who suddenly watches their peers' jobs being replaced by automation, it makes me upset and angry that this technology is being, or will be, used by capitalists to rob people of their livelihoods.
#spitblaze says things#long post#i should be ASLEEP#And this is FOR SURE NOT AS ARTICULATE AS ID LIKE#but im BAD AT ARTICULATING MYSELF#and WANT TO MAKE THE POINT THAT I AM NOW OPENLY DIRECTING MY EMOTIONS ABT THIS#towards THE PEOPLE WHO USE THIS TECHNOLOGY WITH BAD INTENTIONS#or if not BAD at least KINDA SHITTY or ANNOYING#idk#im sure ill wake up to being dogpiled with people calling me a stuck up artist#i dont care#i just dont like seeing people getting mad at artists for working their asses off and wanting compensation for what they do#all of us worked for this
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i'm not exactly innocent of this and i am not defending her at all as a person, but sometimes when people criticize l!ly 0rchard, i can't help but side eye a liiiittle bit when they nitpick EVERYTHING about her writing... including stuff that i knowwww the average person wouldn't criticize a cis and/or male writer for doing.
and it bugs me more that you cant point that out without people going "omg its not transmisogynistic to criticize a bad youtuber!! look, we don't misgender her, dont we get a medal for that?"
#like the ''ewww she doesnt write male characters? she writes female characters??? shes got a woman fetish!!!!!'' thing i keep seeing#im sorry thats a weird ass thing to say about a transfem creator#''she wrote her self insert as a cis woman... thats kinda weirddd shes trivializing the trans experience... shes erasing trans people''#she is the trans people in question?#like idk i dont think lily's writing is bad bc she prefers to write women. i think its bad bc she's a shitty person and that leaks into#her work#this woman goes on about how her fans have shitty trash writing and shes the only good writer among them and thats the core of her bad writ#writing. to me anyways. anyone who's that spiteful and petty towards other creators is just prone to poor quality content#bc she doesnt respect other creatives so whats the chance that she respects the actual creative process yknow?#obligatory ''no this is not defending her as a person. i am not dismissing allegations. i am talking abt her work.'' tag
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Every character on this show struggles with feeling unlovable because they're somehow broken or dirty or just put together wrong but for my money the real winners in this terrible competition are Claudia and Armand. There are, I think, a lot of echos between them especially in showverse- parental abandonment, abuse, being rescued and remade by vampires. Armand was one year older than Claudia when a vampire found him in a terrible situation and brought him home. So naturally just as Claudia finds someone she thinks could really love and know all of her Armand is going to kill her in the desperate hope of keeping someone who might love and know all of him.
#press says iwtv#you can say many things about louis and lestat's parenting but then there's marius. which tbh in bookverse i think it's a tossup#though ok the question of are vampires just like that or is louis just shitty at moral education bcs he's evil#and lestat is also evil present and not even trying a little bit#is actually somehow less funny than is armand just like that or is marius shitty at moral education bcs he's evil#interview with the vampire#lestat could offer advice about stalking a man until he loves you but armand tried and it didn't work!#claudia meanwhile is not a stalker. she pursues mutually engaging and affectionate relationships until someone gets eaten#i am still thinking about how basically normal amc claudia is aside from her sadism towards humans. which is itself normal for vampires#she's not supervamp at all! just a woman in an awkward situation.#i love her and wouldn't trade her for anything but at the same time i'm not sure how i feel about that as an adaptation choice.#also curious about how armand is going to feel about the lestat-claudia situation given his. everything.#i mean i guess to be fair all of these people are evil and broken and approximately half of them asked for it#however i love them so whatever
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in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[real talk: I’m a lesbian transmasc little enby guy. but my gender? is lesbian. it’s how I explain it. my attraction to women is a part of#my innate gender. that’s just how it is and the two things inform one another. heteronormativity is still so alive and now everyone can put#it under progressive little labels where the character is bisexual but everything that’s focused on for miles is the hetcoded shit. it’s a#cool little thing people do now. it went from when I was a kid and ‘there’s no such thing as bi you’re just confused’ to ‘everyone is bi#because it gives me points but I will never meaningfully observe the queer aspect of that identity and it can make me seem comfortable with#queer identities’. it’s lip service so much of the time. and I never ever ever say you’re only valid if you write bi characters in a#queercoded relationship. bisexuality is forever valid always even if you’ve NEVER been in a queer relationship. but this is writing and#real bisexual people (I’m not even bi I’m literally a lesbian) have experiences irl that make them feel shitty#when they see them boiled down to shallow. a lot in the same way I get upset when I see lesbian relationships brushed off or ignored in#spite of my own excitement toward the ship. MY POINT IS that lesbians are completely ignored by this point and I can say this both irl and#on here because when you live a life that excludes men from your romantic space you’re basically illegal. it drives me fucking insane. the#way anyone can make a fucking whitebread ass man on this site and their inbox will be exploding but you make a lesbian and you have to pad#quietly around because from jump you’re already worried about how people will perceive you and you KNOW they won’t be immediately welcoming.#this is an irl thing in such a big way and I’m a NEW YORKER. but the fact that this exists in the rpc? truly I miss when we just wrote and#enjoyed things and this wasn’t a cesspit of discourse instead of an actual creative community. like. I went to college to study boring#theses that couldn’t keep my attention. I slogged through litcrit theory. do I love it? yes. but some of yall really just wanna be on#debatebro YouTube and not in the actual rpc. it’s wild. everyone’s a philosopher but no one wants to meaningfully engage. and if they do#they want to in either bad faith or basically hardheaded ignorance about an issue. someone’s 2 seconds from rping destiny.#swear to fucking god if I see one person make an asm.ngold joke I will cry.]
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sometimes self compassion is the opposite of letting yourself off easy. sometimes self compassion means holding yourself to account and demanding you do better which is so much more work than just punishing yourself. making yourself feel bad so that you feel better is a lot easier than putting the work in to actually repair harm and be less shit. it doesn't feel like that when you're down in the self punishment instinct hole and your brain is telling you that you don't deserve not to be hurt but. it's true.
#i think i got a good grade in therapy this week but boy it fucking sucked#and will probably continue to be really hard for a long time#sure is a bitch when you accept that just suffering for a while won't let you off the hook or fix anything#who does self-punishment help? fucking nobody#doesn't help the person you let down in the first place AND doesn't help you#like good now you've just hurt two people! congrats! what did that solve? fuck all!#nope sometimes compassion is going hey. you can do better and i'm gonna hold you to that. now get up.#sigh. therapy mouse working overtime again#it was kinda meaningful to talk through some things (esp the punishment thing) with my therapist#and be like. look. being compassionate towards myself doesn't mean pretending i'm not at fault#i can be compassionate and accept responsibility for my actions#sometimes i think therapists are afraid of letting us hold ourselves to account esp if you have a history of guilt complexes#so they keep telling you it's not your fault even when it is#had a useful chat with my mentor about reparative justice frameworks too#i think maybe killing the youth leader in my brain is not about letting myself off the hook for 'sins'#it's about recognising that punishment is a shitty way to respond to harm#and trying to build a more productive way forward on all sides#it's not about not being held to account. it's not about everything being allowed#it's about not compounding harm with more harm#weasel management
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*sees a long post from an American comparing Cardassia to the USSR/China* *rolls eyes and keeps scrolling*
#cipher talk#It's not that I think those are bad comparisons#It's that I don't trust white American liberals to make them and when yall do it tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth#Kinda veers into orientalism (and yes this is a factor in how Americans and Western Europe views Russia for shitty reasons)#As well as a weird fascination combined with loathing towards leftists that's just gross to be around#I don't even especially like the USSR or some of China's policies post revolution#Including the tendency some people have toward Han supremacy#But Cardassia is a Mish mash of whatever is scary to white progressive men in the 90s#And includes inspiration from the Ottoman British and Japanese empires as well as the Nazis who were Not Communists#So primarily analyzing Cardassia as a communist nation really is just. Foolish? Because they're also compared to fascists#Especially because we don't ACTUALLY know anything about Cardassian economics or much detail about politics#We know they venerate the family (which rings true for Chinese Japanese and Ottoman comparisons)#We know they have a military led ruling class that tries to balance with the Detapa council; military ruling class is not really like#A communist thing it's a dictatorship/authoritarian/fascist thing. A lot of African countries have or had those#Almost none of us are 'communist' in a meaningful way. At best Nasser was a socialist and that's not the same#And you can infer there's classism even from alpha Canon as well as food insecurity#If anything I think a pretty pressing comparison to Cardassia as a whole is they're Turks.#And even that is vague and stretches a bit because they weren't DESIGNED with that much intention#They were designed to be scary and not with a specific ideology and economic policy#If they were designed with such specifics by a politically informed person you would NOT have references to the Nazis alongside references#To communism because those two things are actually the opposite economic/political policy#And the ways they commit atrocities such as genocide or extend neocolonial influence aren't the same!#China for example has a VERY different stance to the US when it does that to the point where many Africans vastly prefer#To deal with Chinese companies because there's a material benefit from it even though Africans are often not getting a good deal#This doesn't make those dealings 'good' but it goes to show how just having a political history recently rooted in communism#Impacts how a government approaches things#Any government unfortunately is capable of genocide colonialism and imperialism. Resistance to those things is not simple.
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