ook i saw you were looking for life series requests. how about something with the mean gills post-limited life, where scott only has vague memories of the season since he didn’t win? and martyn’s tearing himself up with guilt over the betrayal, and scott is painfully oblivious. (romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, whatever floats your boat :D)
(I’ve never really used that headcanon of only the winners remembering the game since canon sort of goes against it, but it’s a really fun AU and I’d be happy to write more with it! Also I left the relationship ambiguous cuz I think that’s fun so everyone can imagine what they want. It’s not mentioned all that much.)
“Martyn! Hi!” Scott’s cheerful voice froze Martyn in place.
He wasn’t prepared for this. The thought of seeing Scott again hadn’t even occurred to Martyn when he betrayed him in Limited Life. He tried not to turn around to face Scott.
Fortunately or unfortunately, he didn’t have to, as Scott simply stepped in front of him. “How’s it going, mean gill?” Scott tilted his head at Martyn, smiling innocently.
Martyn forced himself to make eye contact with Scott. “Fine… just… a little shaken after Limited Life.”
This wasn’t entirely true. Martyn felt great after Limited Life. The thrill of winning left him ecstatic, and it wasn’t in spite of the killing, it was because of it. The joy had only faded moments ago, when Scott spoke and he realized what he had done.
Scott laughed. “Yeah, it was chaotic. But at least the Coral Isles were cool. Very relaxing.”
“…Even with all the explosions?” Martyn wasn’t sure why Scott was acting so… cheerful. So trusting. Did the betrayal mean nothing to him?
Scott frowned. “…Explosions…? I… I think I remember that…” he closed his eyes. “Hm… actually, I’m now starting to realize I don’t really remember too much of what happened during Limited Life.”
Oh. That would explain it. He doesn’t know! He doesn’t even remember Martyn betraying him! That’s why he’s smiling at him like that. That’s why he thinks Martyn is a safe person to be around. That’s why he’s not yelling at him right now.
Martyn had almost forgotten that everyone typically forgets the life games once they lose. Apparently, that doesn’t apply to winners.
“…Oh.” Was all Martyn could spit out. What was he supposed to do? Pretend he also didn’t know? Tell Scott the truth?
“So, tell me, did you win?” Scott asked, leaning forward. “I bet you did. You totally have it in you.”
Scott probably meant that Martyn had the survival and pvp skills to win. But instead what he “had in him” was the will to betray. He was the only one who could lower everyone’s guard and stab them in the back. The only one who really understood that it was a death match.
It was a good trait to have, selfishness. At least, a good trait in the world he lives in. He didn’t feel ashamed of this, not at all. If he could go back in time, he’d betray them again. It’s the way things were meant to be.
That’s why he didn’t feel bad right now. That’s why he knew exactly what he would say to Scott. Tell him that he won. He didn’t have to say that he won via betrayal, otherwise Scott would know not to trust him. He would use the amnesia to his advantage. And he wouldn’t feel bad. He was proud.
Yet, Martyn stayed frozen.
Scott frowned. “Did you lose? It’s okay if you did, I’m sure you did really well…”
“No… I… won…” Martyn managed to get out. Why did it feel wrong? It was the truth, and he was proud of it. He was. He’s wanted to win since the beginning.
“Oh! Yay! Congratulations! I knew you could do it.” Scott smirked. “How’d it go? I don’t even remember how I got out.”
Well, he couldn’t tell Scott that he had betrayed him. If he did that, he couldn’t betray him in the future. Yes, that’s why Martyn couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth. It was purely strategic. He was happy with what he’d done. He was.
Not having a good lie for what ended Scott must’ve been what froze Martyn up, what made him feel like he was unable to speak. He just had to come up with something. Say it was Impulse, who Martyn then killed. It would keep the placements the same, just mixing up who killed who a bit!
But Martyn couldn’t say a word. That idea felt like a weak raft in the ocean of his mind being drowned away by a storm of his feelings, but Martyn didn’t even know what that feeling was. He just felt frozen. Wrong, even. But nothing was wrong. He won.
Scott hummed. “Was it too traumatic or something?” He asked. “I guess the story can wait. I thought you’d be more excited.”
He was. He was excited. But now he’s not. Why? This was just pathetic. He wasn’t scared, right? There was nothing to be scared of. What else makes one freeze up like this?
“You don’t seem to be doing so well…” Scott bore a look of concern. “Do you want to sit down maybe? We could just chat about normal things.”
Scott’s still acting like Martyn’s friend. He doesn’t know! He doesn’t know how Martyn has wronged him! It’s wonderful, isn’t it?! It’s wonderful how Martyn can use this to his advantage. It doesn’t feel wrong at all!
…No, he can’t deny it. It feels wrong. It feels so, so wrong. Scott should be with trustworthy people. At least people who wouldn’t gain his trust just to betray him. Martyn couldn’t stand the thought of himself being near Scott. He felt…
Guilty.
He had been so happy that he won, so proud, so unbothered with the betrayal, it made the guilt worse! The worst part is, he still wouldn’t take it back. At this point, what he would take back was teaming with Scott, so that he never would have needed to betray him in the first place! Scott didn’t deserve that!
Why, oh why did Martyn get attached? It was a death match! He knew he would have to kill everyone. He knew he would need to be the last one standing. And yet, he bothered to make a real bond with his ally. That mistake was coming to bite him even after he had already won!
But calling their bond a mistake also felt wrong! He almost feels like he shouldn’t have betrayed Scott, but he knows he should have. He wouldn’t take it back.
Martyn just feels like a bad person. One who won’t even bother to change…
This doesn’t feel good…
This doesn’t… feel good……
“…Martyn?”
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