#like they’re (my job) gonna pay it regardless
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so i had to call my doctor
so i can get a note
so i can submit it my job
so i can use my sick time
so i can take a couple mental health days
#any use of sick time over 16 hours requires a doctors note#which is so stupid#my coworker thinks we should get rid of personal sick vacation and other PTO#and just put it all in one big pool#which makes so much sense#like they’re (my job) gonna pay it regardless#why make all of us jump through so many hoops#also i was explaining to the nurse#like what i do and how burnout and fatigue are prevalent in this position#and she does ‘does your job have resources to help you deal with that someone to talk to?’#LMAO#i like laughed and said no but they should#also she right off the bat asked me if i was suicidal or was going to harm myself or others#i know the answer to that question lady#been answering it since i was 13#personal
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i gotta respect my dad’s continued faith in god at this point because with everything that’s happened the past couple years - if i still worshipped god i would want to overthrow him
#ignore me#vent#vent tw#my dads been hired for like 5 jobs over the past couple months#and they all fired him pretty much right after his first paycheck#and now he’s gotten another job and it sounds like they’re gonna keep him#but every other job seemed that way#we just started to become financially stable after like 4 years#and all of a sudden this lady from a minor car accident my brother caused two years ago comes out to sue us#she chose to sue for over 25000 where the hell are we gonna get that money#we have no defense bc my brother definitely hit her#it didn’t even seem like that bad of a crash i mean my brother got out of it with a bruise or something and that was it#idk my dad and brother go to court in a couple days so we don’t know how bad it’s gonna be#we’re gonna be paying a lot regardless from what it sounds like tho#i’m just so tired
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FOREVERMORE — JOHN MARINO
part of the Maraschino Cherry! AU
y/nmercer
liked by john.marino97, nhl, and 5,743 others
y/nmercer sorry daws, i think john’s gift has your stuffed dino present beat
i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, i love you forevermore, my sweet cherry 🤍❤️
tagged john.marino97
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dawson1417 he one upped me!
y/nmercer i think he triple upped you, bubba
dawson1417 that bitch 😒
dawson1417 but fr, i’m happy for you guys! congratulations, bubby ❤️ you’re getting the happily ever after you deserve
y/nmercer DON’T MAKE ME CRY AGAIN, PLEASE! I CAN’T KEEP FIXING MY MAKEUP
john.marino97 so enchanted by the thought of forever with you 🤍
y/nmercer stfu and kiss me before i cry into your pillow and leave mascara on it
john.marino97 why MY pillow?
y/nmercer so that every night you have to sleep with the reminder that you made me cry
john.marino97 GOOD tears! but i’ll always kiss you regardless
user87 did they not JUST start dating?!
y/nmercer we’ve been together for 8 months, known each other for 14! but when you know, you know 🤍
user63 shotgun wedding???
y/nmercer haha no! not pregnant! just hopelessly in love and eternally grateful to be able to marry him!
user90 your love is so pure 🥹
jackhughes WHAT?! WHY DIDN’T I KNOW HE WAS PROPOSING??
naterbastian i did
jackhughes @/john.marino97 YOU TOLD BASS AND NOT ME??
john.marino97 you would’ve let it slip in 0.5 seconds
jackhughes congrats, i guess 😒
y/nmercer thanks, i guess ?
naterbastian congratulations, can’t wait to be the best man!
john.marino97 i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Paul is gonna be my best man
naterbastian that’s chill, i’ll be the man of honor!
y/nmercer well this is awkward…. dawson will be being my man of honor 🫶🏻
naterbastian damn twins
naterbastian fine, i’ll settle for groomsman
john.marino97 THAT, you can do!
nicohischier congratulations ❤️ wishing you two nothing but happiness
y/nmercer oh buggaboo 🥺 thank you!
njdevils A CHRISTMAS ENGAGEMENT!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!
user12 imagine meeting your future husband through your twin brother… brb crying
nhl congratulations to the future Mr. and Mrs. Marino! 💍❤️
user28 a quick engagement…. either she’s a gold digger or she really moves fast
user93 he’s the one who proposed?? also, she wouldn’t need to gold dig, she’s an independent woman with her own job. and even if she wasn’t, it’s pretty obvious she and her brother (who is also in the nhl!) are super close and he would probably be more than happy to pay for everything for her lmao. she and john are obviously just in love and know that they’re it for each other. and for all we know, they could have a long engagement, but even if they eloped tomorrow it would be none of our business
liked by y/nmercer
jesperbratt does this mean i have to call you “little Marino” instead?
y/nmercer well, eventually yes! but not yet!
lhughes_06 MRS. MARASCHINO CHERRY COMING 2k24???
y/nmercer we’re not sure on when yet, but MRS. MARASCHINO CHERRY!!
john.marino97 my future wife 🤍
lhughes_06 @/john.marino97 are you my new dad?
john.marino97 i don’t know how to answer that
y/nmercer yes he is! be kind to him!
john.marino97 so our first child is… a 20 year old that already has parents of his own?
lhughes_06 daddy!
john.marino97 don’t.
#maraschino cherry! au#john marino#john marino x reader#john marino fic#john marino imagine#john marino blurb#nj devils#nhl fic#nhl imagine#faithlynn’s writings <3
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“Being Best-friends with Dante Sparda„
Being a son of Sparda doesn’t mean he doesn’t have time to fool around with you ! Gender neutral human reader
Teenage Years | DMC3
Being the massive flirt he is he’ll most likely try and flirt with you upon meeting
Seeing as his twin brother is currently trying to kill him and take his necklace he’ll keep your first conversation short and leave you with his number
After literal Hell on Earth he’ll remember to give you a call
Y’all click instantly…he’s also just a really easy person to get along with but we’ll just ignore that
Now we all know he STAYS broke so either you pay for a meal or y’all are taking a walk in the park somewhere
Getting him to actually talk about himself is pretty difficult
Give him space and he’ll open up about deeper things in his life eventually especially things that concern his demon half(brother, childhood, etc.)
He does enjoy throwing compliments everywhere so expect daily words of praise whether it be sarcastic, goofy, exaggerated, or sincere praise
If you like to compliment as well it’ll be like the most sickening bromance ever
If your still in school DO NOT go to him for homework help
He’ll hype you up for sure but if you need genuine academic help just get a tutor💀
Would be genuinely upset if you made a joke regarding his white hair bro would get hella moody and claim you aren’t friends anymore
If you have a part time job you can BET he’s gonna ask for some bread
Not exactly outright but he’ll allude to it like..
“You remember all the damage those demon guys did to my shop? Yeah…it’s gonna cost A TON to repair it by myself…”
“Are you hungry? Well I heard about this new pizza spot that WE should totally tryout 😁.”
If you like to make clothes/jewelry/accessories he’ll totally wear it
Refuses to let you mess with his hair until like two years into knowing each other
Takes pride in his looks and you should too! Self care! Ofc you’re paying for any and all expenses🫶
Glorified sugar daddy😭
If you live with your parents…so does he
Congratulations you have a new brother 🩰
If you don’t he’ll offer to be roommates so he can get a cheaper rent
You’ll definitely meet Lady she is absolutely appalled at how you tolerate him constantly sarcastically ofc she knows he’s a good guy
If you’re into video games he’ll play with you granted he doesn’t have the money to pay for a game console so it’ll be on whatever console you have
Once he’s in your life he’s never leaving literally.
A best-friend for a lifetime
Adult Years
He probably saved you from some demons
Like if you met him in his teenage year he’d def start flirting
What can I say he stays true to himself
His personality would never change regardless of his aging
Still the same wacky woohoo pizza man we know and love
Thinks you look hot and invites you on a date which quickly just turns into a hangout after the LACK of romance
Still finds hanging with you to be fun and keeps a friendship
Even after establishing a friendship he still flirts here and there—force of habit
Would definitely teach you how to ride a motorcycle if you didn’t already know
More willing to let you mess with his hair
Like put it in pigtails or tie it up/braid it
Introduced you to the whole DMC gang
Now depending on the time period he’ll tell you about Vergil and his upbringing
He would totally tell you all about it after the events of DMC5 after he returns ofc!
I feel like he’s an animal guy so if you have any pets they’re now his pets too
Co-parenting core🩰
If you’re an artist he’ll be your muse/reference material any day
Loves the attention
Drunk dance nights
Karaoke too he doesn’t have the best singing voice but it’s not the worst
Since he’s a devil hunter he goes on missions a lot and seeing as you don’t want to get your shit rocked you stay behind
Cherishes every moment spent together and will make sure you know that
You always take him with you on vacations
How could you not???
He appreciates if you chip in helping him pay off his MASSIVE FUCKING DEBT
He doesn’t expect you to though
Despite being broke he stays stylish and if you asked would help you with fashion
Ofc he isn’t like BIG on fashion but cmon have you seen his looks? He dabbles
Immediately sees you after missions and starts ranting about the entire thing
“Can you believe it?! So obviously I shot that nasty bitch and it had the nerve to explode all over my jacket! It died so I can’t even get it to pay for a new one!”
“Don’t worry about why I smell like this worry about the fact that Trish totally took MY commission!”
Very dramatic but laid back too if that makes sense
Calls you cheesy nicknames that I will not elaborate on use your imagination 🗣️🫶
Enjoys live music and will go with you to concerts if you like
Shows you his demon form if you’re interested
Whatever your hobby is he’ll be interested
Would make sure nothing ever bad happened to you regarding devils ofc
Best bros for life and in death🫡
#devil may cry#dmc devil may cry#dmc x you#dmc x reader#dante x reader#dante x you#gn reader#x male reader#x female reader#x gn reader#x gender neutral reader#dante sparda#beingdantesfriend#platonic#platonic headcanons#dmc headcanons#fanfic#fanfiction
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Library Daycare (2)
Angel Reyes x OC Isabeth ‘Izzy’ Flores 30 Day Fic Challenge (14/30)
Word Count: 3k A/N: I feel like I say this for a majority of my fics but this post-canon world I've thought up for Angel and Maverick is my favorite, I think about it everyday, I just, want him to be happy even tho most of my ideas for this are angsty HAHA.
Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Light angst.
Mayans Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @kmc1989 Previous fic for reference.
Angel stepped into the library, Maverick in his arms and was staring at the bulletin board. His eyes were scanning over each flyer and business card that was pinned to it. The list of jobs that Angel felt capable of was slim. There were a lot of options, prep cook, lab assistant, front desk organizer, medical assistants, nurses, but none of those were things that Angel had any experience with. That’s when his eyes landed on the business card that was pinned to the flyer that said Farm Hand needed, the business card on top reading Rancho de Valle - Este. His free hand reached up to grab the information from the pin so he could get a closer look.
Farm hand, operating and maintaining machinery, harvesting and planting crops, repairs, occasional livestock caring. Full time, housing on premise provided if desired, hourly pay, overtime opportunities, and medical insurance.
“El Ranchitos.” A voice sounded behind him.
He turned around immediately, a little startled by the voice while Maverick on the other hand cooed in excitement as he saw who was behind them.
“Sorry I did not mean to scare you.” Izzy smiled at Angel and turned her gaze onto Maverick. Her hand quickly reached out to grab his foot. “Hi, you. I missed you.” Her voice was soft now, she didn’t want to scary anyone again.
“You caught me deep in thought, that’s all.” Angel laughed as he adjusted Maverick in his arms.
“Yes, El Ranchitos.” She repeated again pointing to the papers again.
Angel looked down not seeing El Ranchitos anywhere on the forms and looked back at the woman he had brief conversations with over the last few months. “You’re familiar with them?”
“De Valle’s are very well known in this town. They own all of El Ranchitos, de Valle Este is the one closest to the city that is a harvesting ranch, they have others in the city but they’re more like resorts, they had to adapt with the change of the world.” Izzy explained. “They’re good people, kind, understanding. I think de Valle Este is like 10 minutes from here by car.”
“Thanks, yea I think I’m going to apply. Everything else is a bit out of my range.” Angel laughed awkwardly. “Just gotta figure out what I’m gonna do with him while I’m working, maybe I could hire someone to watch him if I take them up on this on premise housing.” He was thinking outloud now, but it was just a symptom of having no one above the age of 2 to talk with here.
Izzy was leaning over in front of him now, reaching for something on the bulletin board. Her hand began searching around until she found what she was looking for and pulled it from the pin. “It isn’t a nanny, but we watch the kids all day, feed them, read to them, use the playground outside on good weather days, it’s a small group too.”
“We?” Angel questioned his eyes moving from the library daycare flier to Izzy’s face.
“Okay, I, it’s my initiative. We did a trial run this summer with a handful of kids and it went pretty well. We have about 8 kids right now signed up for the school year, all local, have room for 10, I think Maverick would be a great addition.” Izzy grinned again, now looking at Maverick who giggled and brought his hands out to her in hope to be held by her.
“How was I around like all summer and didn’t notice this?” Angel laughed and happily gave the child over to Izzy.
These last few months he had gotten extremely comfortable with the woman and honestly safe with her, Angel as well. These last few months have consisted of Angel coming to most of the library events because not only did Maverick enjoy them but because they offered him peace around people which he didn’t have much of since leaving Santo Padre. There was a constant fear, a persistence to always look over his shoulder, double guess everyone he met, everyone who walked too close to him on the street, but at the library it was like that fear was nonexistent. He had made a friend in Izzy, which was exactly what he needed right now.
“I have two other people that help out, it allows one of us to take off, or be more flexible around the library.” She answered as she bounced Maverick up and down in her arms. “They’re actually running daycare now, if you want to check it out.” Her eyes moved back to Angel as Maverick’s little hands picked up her I.D. that was draped around her neck with a lanyard. “No pressure.” She let out an awkward laugh.
“No, yea.” Angel spoke up which earned him a confused look from the woman holding his child across from him. He smiled realizing how confusing his statement was. “I just meant we’d love to check it out.”
Izzy nodded and brought them both to the children’s area of the library and opened up the decent size circular room that currently had a group of kids of a variety of ages drawing on tables.
“Sticker drawing. Helps them with open ended exploration, we let the older kids come up with a story based on their drawings and the younger ones like it too.” She was placing Maverick down on the ground and he was quick to find himself at the small table grabbing a sheet of his own.
“How big is the age range?” Angel wasn’t sure why he was asking questions, he knew this was the best place for Maverick if he was to get this job.
“Right now 1 through 5. This group is a bit older because it’s the summer.” She put her hands over her chest as she watched over the kids.
Before Angel could answer there was a little girl who was about 4 walking up to Izzy holding out her sheet of paper towards her.
“Wow, that’s beautiful.” The little girl was being brought up into her arms and instantly throwing her own around Izzy’s neck.
“Well the kids sure love you.” Angel smiled.
“I hope this one does.” Izzy rocked from side to side similarly to how she was with Maverick just minutes earlier, but this time she looked at the girl in her arms and kissed the side of her head. “This one’s mine.”
Angel found himself at a loss of words at that statement. He didn’t expect it. It automatically made him think about his friendship with Izzy, this was something huge that she so easily went without mentioning. Then again, it wasn’t like she knew everything about his life, but she knew a lot about his current life, and this felt very much like her current life. Between not knowing about the daycare and now her child, he felt like he needed to take a major step back.
“Are you okay?” She interrupted Angel’s thoughts.
“Yea, sorry. Just didn’t realize you had a kid.” Angel wanted to rewind the last 10 seconds so he never said those words.
Izzy’s face dropped a little and she looked back down at her daughter and placed her back on the ground and stayed at her level for a moment. “Go back with your friends, Abrielle.”
As she stood up she turned to Angel, and nodded towards the door. For a moment he hesitated and looked at Maverick. “You can take him, but Olivia doesn’t mind watching him.” She pointed to the woman with the lanyard similar to her own that was at the smaller kids table. With a nod, Angel was walking out of the room and standing awkwardly in front of Izzy.
“I know you understand the need for privacy, Angel. The need to keep things to yourself. If I recall the first time I met you, I put my own address in for your library card because you were two nervous to give out information.” It felt scolding almost the way she was speaking.
“I–” Angel went to speak but she cut him off by holding up her finger and speaking over him.
“I don’t need a reason to make a choice regarding my child, Angel.” Her accent came out strong when she said his name. “You out of all people should get that.”
“I do, I’m sorry. I just thought we were friends.” Again, Angel was wishing he would just keep his mouth shut.
Izzy sighed, her guard immediately falling down and with a shake of her head she spoke. “We are friends, Angel. I just need to be cautious with her.”
“I get that.” He nodded. “I didn’t mean to do whatever this is.” He waved his hand around and laughed awkwardly. “If anything, I’m glad you felt comfortable to tell me, it’s cool, having a parent friend. Haven’t had many of those really.”
“Well if you do the daycare thing, you’ll make more during pickup and dropoff.” She matched his humorous tone.
“Don’t know if I want that.” He chuckled nervously.
“Why do you think I don’t tell many people I have a child.” Her eyebrows raised and her mouth curled into a smile.
Angel laughed. “Well then I’m honored to be accepted amongst the few.” He looked through the window of the daycare door and saw Maverick laughing at something and he turned back to Izzy. “I’d like to sign him up, even if I don’t get this job, this is the right place for him.”
Izzy smiled at that comment, she went to say something but bit her tongue immediately. Her desire to say that this is the best place for Maverick and him was high but she held back and simply nodded.
“Let’s get you two signed up then.”
#Mayans MC#mayans#mayans fx#mayansmc#mayans fanfic#mayans fanfiction#angel reyes#angel reyes x oc#angel post canon#post canon mayans#mayans post canon#angel reyes fanfic#angel reyes fanfiction#oc izzy
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yes, hello. I’d like to attack you with unrelenting happiness for the next few minutes of your time. it’s a feedback loop originating from and re-projecting back to you.
first of all, seeing your deconstructions after stumbling upon your ao3 makes me regret missing out on the live updates from you and the community here (aniwave comments are dogshit)
thank you for your posts. they let me think critically about and appreciate g-witch that much more from novel analysis perspectives. reading back a bit, especially to your take on scenes such as ep10’s communication clear up, and seeing these pieces given the gravity and respect they deserve, is taking the bite off of the series’ conclusion.
speaking of treating the sulemio shaped hole in the networks from now on, a red tempest is the kind of fic one wishes they could distill and take intravenously at maximum drip.
it won’t be for everyone, and you think law of causality is your best (haven’t read it yet), but it feels like you’re writing professional grade work just for me with how it seemingly doesn’t miss or waste a line. you present a tight ship regardless of whether that’s how you run it. the story feels compact and layer woven yet flows along seamlessly and with that wonderful sense of OC unlimited potential, dropping shadows here and there but keeping me fully on my toes. still in the rising action, but hopefully multiple full arcs…? (worth!)
the spots of canon that you spun into a universe feel weighted, alive with the way your voice gives an inherent gravitas even to small supporting details, and nothing is more alive than your characters.
you do them so well, it’s impossible to stress enough. regardless of where they’re going in the future, where you’ve had them come from and be is so genuine and, in most cases, compliant/paying close homage in their personalities. your dialogue is a breath of life. eri and chuchu particularly, and prospera especially.
there are small things that are subtle like suletta being a bit less anxious at the start, and there are larger things that are less subtle like all of prospera— yours of whom I love— but everything’s working believably and in sync as you craft this beautiful story. my only complaint is that I think the next release is gonna be a sulemio heavy chapter during the job’s sudden distress, and it isn’t this weekend’s release date yet.
there’s a lot else, like the many juxtapositions, the slow burn, and other emotional/literary devices, but while I’ve already spent too long trying to put just this much of a review/praise bomb together, I’ve gotta jaw on a bit more about your fantastic perspective work with clear voices for each heroine. it’s so exciting getting into the younger couple’s heads when it comes to each other. you’re probably going to slaughter me with elnora and notrette, but ch11’s suletta and mio are already doing it with their pining.
thank you. it’s a joy and a pleasure. I hope to read you for a long time to come. I’d ask to share some of your brain chemicals, but reading the product makes mine just as happy. I hope that means we share a brain cell; then I could rise and meet the caliber. o7
That’s so sweet of you! And absolutely; sending you spiritual braincells 🤗 I put a wealth of thought into all my works but something about Sulemio and Prospera✨ sends my brain into overdrive. Law of Causality and A Red Tempest are passion driven works that I’m happy to share with likeminded people. If you ever do decide to give AASB and its sister works a try you may find interesting connections. ART is a bit of a spiritual sequel in a way. Though admittedly ART Prospera may be a rascally devil but is intentionally more likable than LoC ‘Prospera’. I decided to make her pathetic in ART for funsies 👏
Thanks so much for the kind words ❤️Encouragement gives me wings to confidently move forward—just like our merry cast!
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idk how good this is.
(warning: i have no fucking clue what macro economics is)
god did you hate macro economics. it wasn’t entirely boring, but it wasn’t soemthing you actually wanted to learn about. however did you still listen and pay attention, because, ideally, you didn’t want to take this class again? yeah, you did.
so that’s why you always managed to catch the comments coming from behind you. “god what does he even see in her?”
“they don’t make sense as a couple” “she’s probably such a slut, trying to lock him down to secure cash in the future.”
and the comments like this continued for weeks. however uninvolved you were in the situation, you almost wanted them to name drop someone, so you could tell them what was being said about them. no one deserved to be shit on, regardless of their intentions in this mysterious relationship.
until they name dropped ryan. “i don’t know how lenoard puts up with her, she has to be good in bed for him to keep her around.”
now that one hurt. and then the realization set in.
the comments they’ve been making for weeks…. we’re about you and ryan?
“i’d be willing to bet he’s just with her for a bet. he has to know she’s just around for a pro contract. maybe even a kid or two to tie them for life.”
and there went the nail in the coffin.
the minute the professor ceased in his passion-filled rant about the principles of macro economics, and their “metaphorical relationship to lessons in life”, you bolted out of there.
away from the hateful comments of your classmates. away from the doubts they were planting in your relationship. away, away, away- you just needed to flee.
until you crashed right in to someone’s chest.
“whoa sweet girl, you being chased or something?”
ryan. your ryan. you were safe. you were away from the comments. all that echoed in your head was “safesafesafesafe”
and you just broke down into sobs.
“ry-they-they’re just being so fucking mean. and i’m so stupid. how did i not realize they were talking about me? about us? i’mnotwithyouforthemoneyipromise! iloveyouiloveyouipro-“
your words got caught in your throat as your insecurities flooded out into the world, to fast for you to let in a breath.
“honey, hey, look at me. i need you to breathe baby, you’re gonna make yourself sick sweetheart. in, and out. do it with me now. it’s okay. it’s okay i gotcha.”
and as his fingers tilted your chin up, and he gazed down at you with upmost care, you breathed with him.
“in” and as your insecurities piled up in your lungs.
“out” you then let them out through your mouth.
eventually your thoughts slowed down to the speed of your breath. and your only thought was ryan. ryanryanryan- you were with ryan, and you’d be okay. maybe not right this minute, but eventually. because ryan makes everything better.
you sunk into his arms, as the sudden rush of emotions left your body feeling weak- akin to as if someone had weighed you down with bricks, and plummeted you straight into a body of water. but you welcomed that feeling- as long as you’re were with ryan.
“good job baby. now i dont want you to explain right now if you’re gonna get worked up again, so we’ll talk later, okay? you can tell me everything they said sweet girl, but let me tell you one thing right now- they don’t know anything. whatever they said, it doesn’t matter. our relationship is you and me baby, not them. no matter how jealous they are, no matter what they say, you and i are the only ones that know us. and i’ll add this- i trust you with my life sweetheart, and i certainly wouldn’t if i had any sort of doubts about your intentions. i’m yours, and you’re mine, and that’s all that matters.”
ryan was yours. no matter what harsh words they threw at you- he was yours. and that’s all that really matters.
-🫂
holy shit this is good
i am so freaken soft now omg
i got butterflies
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@vexatious-knight sure, I can get into it! I know I make it seem like I utterly hated HW in those last few points but I actually don’t, it’s one of my fav expacs. it’s mostly just that I like to bitch abt the weaker parts of things I like bc constructive criticism is love and the finest form of flattery to me.
details under the cut. this is gonna be real long lol I’m sorry
ARR: full warning, I did ARR in a complete state of ‘near mental breakdown from uni stress’ kinda fugue, combined with me being more focused on Learning The Game than paying close attention to the writing (as it goes with the early stages of a new video game), so my initial memories of ARR are a lil’ hazy. regardless I’m in the camp that it Wasn’t That Bad, and knowing the backstory behind its existence makes it easier for me to forgive a lot of it’s flaws. it’s slow and a little poorly paced and very long (and the scions have little character, and the less that’s said abt their voice acting the better, tho I miss some ARR voices like ARR-ysayle, misgardsormr, and merlwyb), but it’s otherwise a fine introduction to the game. I disagree with the fandom optic of ‘skip ARR you don’t need it!’ and how people act like it’s the worst content in the game, bc ARR sets up at least some of the basics for what happens down the line, and again I don’t think it’s that bad. it’s definitely not winning any narrative awards, but it’s serviceable (esp. for smth cooked up quickly after the near-demise of a previous game version).
HW: so far competing w/ ShB for my fav expac. something to note is that I’m a writer, not a game designer, so some of my criticisms are petty just because I theoretically have the time and ability to expand as much as I want on the things I feel could’ve been done better, because I do. I understand that sometimes game design and MMO writing is just Like That bc of time and scope restraints. okay.
I generally really enjoyed HW - though I think it had a couple of missteps, it generally kept a tight narrative and kept sight of its themes. Ishgard is still my favourite setting (bc who doesn’t like rubbernecking a dumpster fire) and I like how it flipped a lot of character genres on their heads (estinien is the broody dark character but he explicitly isn’t an asshole, he’s just traumatized; aymeric is the cool collected golden boy but displays an impulsivity (that gets someone he respects killed) that you’d more expect out of someone like estinien; ysayle is almost sisterly in how much she cares for other people, and instead of being the violent cult leader you initially knew her as she’s literally the matron for a group of outcasts abandoned and harmed by the system). I like how uncertain it initially feels, I enjoy the couple of moments where the wol starts feeling less like a player avatar and more like a realized person by having character reactions and traumas (they’re utterly devastated by haurchefant’s death, and are shown to be explicitly traumatized and worn down), it does a good job of not sugarcoating how much of a hellhole ishgard is, and for the most part it does a fairly good job of having people like aymeric recognize they’re complicit in why their country is this way and making real meaningful steps to change it. I liked the revelations abt what was really going on w/ the dragonsong war.
also i’m native, so seeing a catholic church analogue get thoroughly dunked on, acknowledge, and make actual steps towards reparations (while acknowledging that an apology requires actual action and not just words) for a crime they committed is a little bit more personal to me than it might be for some others.
as for things I think were weaker....I’ve mentioned a few of them before. like I said a few times I think estinien was an exceptionally flat character and that the reveal could’ve been so much better had he been allowed to have a modicum of growth and agency and actually been made to grapple with the reality of the situation and what it means for him and his sense of self. HW has a weird fixation on humbling ysayle (ravana, focusing on how ‘wrong’ she was during its most important scene despite the fact her not knowing makes little sense bc vidofnir) and the reveal + her completely unnecessary death makes it harder to enjoy for me. speaking of, I find the fact that after she dies the heretics are completely forgotten abt to be a particularly big fumble, bc the entire reason they even exist is a huge portion of HW’s message (they’re not all evil fanatic dragonfuckers, many (if not most) of the heretics are otherwise normal people who have been harmed by the system often through no fault of their own, ex. heustienne as shown if you did HW DRG quests, and will be killed if they go back to Ishgard), so it’s a little strange to me that their voices and plights are quietly dropped as soon as they can when they really should be some of the loudest, as should brume residents. another sore spot for me personally (that I’ve mentioned) is that neither aymeric nor the game wants to acknowledge the awkward truth that aymeric, as leader of the temple knights, is directly complicit in their many (not secret at all) crimes and how his failure to control them reflects back on him as lord commander. that he can’t seem to reconcile with this and blames everything on his father is a fun character flaw, but I’d like to see it more acknowledged (both canon and fandomwise) that aymeric fails in some pretty important ways and makes some weird decisions (like restoration-era ishgard still has the inquisitors. aymeric. you kept the fucking heresy police?). I’d like to see his characterization of ‘perfect golden boy’ to be challenged more often, but I’m not gonna hold my breath lol.
StB: oh boy. as you probably know, stb is obviously (so far) the weakest expac in terms of writing - it fails in a lot of ways, sometimes to the point things actually get offensive. what I liked abt it was mostly mechanical. a lot of it’s fights were really fun, and stb is abt the point (other than fights like nidhogg) where the game starts upping the ante on mechanic difficulty across the board and starts taking the training wheels off (just a little), and I think a lot of its maps were nicely designed and are nice to look at. omega was a fun raid storyline, and I also liked little details, like how this expac’s ‘beast tribes’ are treated as equals in contrast to the uld’ahn assertion that eorzean ones are violent savages that need to be monitored and put down when they get too uppity (this is why I have very mixed feelings on the scions as an organization, but that’s for a separate post).
narrative-wise tho.....stb is a mess. it’s the classic case of biting off more than it could chew, bc it tries to do two storylines at once and fails at this hard; the ala mhigan sections are too short and underwritten across the board, and they spend too much time faffing abt just getting to Doma that that section feels too short as well. shinryu is a massive sore spot; a bahamut+ level primal is born, disappears, and just.....is never mentioned again except at the very end, where you had no buildup or way to predict this happening. I spent literally the entire expac wondering when people were gonna worry abt shinryu on the loose potentially causing another dalamud situation at any moment. things that are super interesting and have a lot of implications, like zenos’ (fake! manufactured!) echo, which is hydaelyn’s power, giving him the ability to body hop (which is in all previous appearances something only granted by or exclusive to ascians) is inherently interesting and a good segue into the shb revelations but it’s literally never brought up again.
I also didn’t really enjoy it character-wise; papalymo and lyse have absolutely no depth or development in ARR or HW so his death is utterly wasted and the reveal that yda is a fake persona has literally no punch (haha) to it bc yda had no character beyond comic relief in ARR anyway. lyse unfortunately never gets out from under the shadow of her comic relief designation, and due to pacing issues her arc is anemic as fuck (she never really grows and keeps asking the same questions over and over) and never actually materializes into what the devs wanted it to be; lyse as resistance leader was a point that was never going to work as-written, and that’s before the colourism issue comes into play. I don’t think she’s necessarily an awful character, but she was definitely mishandled.
I’m not going to talk abt hien or gosetsu here. know that I absolutely despise them, hien especially, for a lot of reasons. but if I get into these reasons I’ll write a 5k word essay on just that so I’ll spare you the pain and save it for a different post. but hien makes me angry as a character so. yugiri is the best character here by process of elimination, fight me.
yotsuyu’s arc is unsurprisingly a mess, and the post-patches fail to actually engage with it bc her main deal is that she’s been horrifically mistreated, especially by men, her entire life, and the entirety of the post-patches are hien treating her like an object to traded around and gosetsu making funney ‘jokes’ abt women. it’s awful. note that I’m not excusing her actions - yotsuyu is an awful person who’s done awful shit, and the inherent moral dilemma of how to handle her crimes as tsuyu is an interesting beat - but everything abt her is mishandled and so...egregious that at times it almost feels exploitative. it makes me wonder that as written if she’d been better off literally just being an awful person because she’s an awful person, and not awful bc she’s a sexual assault survivor (which, I want to stress, this is not the first time this game has made the implication that women who are sexually assaulted are just morally broken afterwards (the first was eline roaille) which is quite the stance to take). all in all I think stb is just across the board unsatisfying and is just a complete mess of an expac. fun fights, tho!
ShB: this is as far as I’ve gone and I’ve not started post-patches yet, so I’ll only be talking abt base ShB. like I think I mentioned right after finishing - I liked it! I think it did a good job of keeping to a tight narrative, and one of it’s bigger strengths is that none of its zones overstay their welcome (like. cough cough. ruby sea. cough cough). other than a couple areas I think it did a genuinely good job of telling what it wanted to tell, and it’s competing w/ HW for my favourite of the bunch.
it’s maps are super pretty (lakeland has some of my favourite bgm so far), it’s fights are fun as hell, and the lightwarden narrative is genuinely gripping. I really enjoyed the bleaker, more dark fantasy tone starting out, I enjoyed how it didn’t pull its punches regarding how ever-present and how...inevitable the sin eaters feel as a threat (it reminds me of ishgard somewhat, in that way). after an entire expac of feeling like a weapon and almost background character just here to solve problems through violence, shb’s narrative of the scions actually (finally) coming to care about your wellbeing as a person as you’re literally dying for the world and working as a team and the MMO player tendency to just follow quest objectives being somewhat used against you as it’s your ‘but thou must’ violence that ends up nearly killing you is a nice subtle meta thing. the worldbuilding for the first feels fairly grounded (by final fantasy standards) and I don’t really have any issues with it. I wasn’t expecting to like the emet-selch arc at the end but I actually really did, I feel they delivered on that front.
eulmore is my biggest sore spot for this expac, bc I think that while their viewpoint re: the end of the world is interesting I don’t think they’re used well. I get that their existence is to highlight the forces keeping norvrandt divided, but just...hm. I didn’t find them super compelling or dangerous as a threat. you really get the sense that without ran’jiit these guys are just hilariously incompetent. and though I’m not going to talk abt it, it’s not my place, eulmore is fatphobic as fuck.
speaking of ran’jiit, he’s obviously the weakest part of the whole show. I find him to be an utter waste of a character, especially once you consider his hook is kinda interesting in its own right; he’s the only eulmoran we see to be in it and loyal to vauthry for reasons that don’t appear to be selfish, but we never actually learn what these reasons are. nothing abt him is explained (he has a dragon? how are there dragons on the first when dragons in this universe are space aliens deposited on the source? he can fuse with it? how? the only other time we see draconic transformations is in ishgardians bc of ratatoskr’s latent aether. is this a real dragon or just smth shaped like one? what is it? we never see any other creature that looks even similar (the closest is alte roite in omega raids). how is he so strong?), and what little character he does have is often ignored if it’s in the wol’s favour (this is a man who kicks y’shtola and his own man off the side of a bottomless pit, but for some inexplicable reason fails to do the same to the wol, his greatest enemy, when they’re distracted by it). his unwinnable fight schtick is not only old at this point but it’s infuriating - I can forgive zeno’s scripted fights bc it’s reiterated over and over again that he’s not exactly normal when it comes to his combat prowess, and the first go around is shocking in its own right bc it’s the first time you’ve lost a fight soundly, not through any trickery or magic or anything. He’s legitimately just stronger than you. ran’jiit just shows up. wrecks your shit. the exarch gives a weak ‘oh no, ran’jiit!’ as explanation. nothing else is ever explained. he’s just this inexplicably strong dude following you around as an unnecessary motivator to kill lightwardens faster, that’s it. it’s a disappointment in an otherwise strong expac. ryne is however my baby.
I’m not entirely sure on how to feel abt the exarch/g’raha rn, that will probably depend on how the post-patches handle him. know that I intensely disliked him for much of shb, bc I read his actions as deeply horrifically manipulative and genuinely thought he was going the be the main villain he was so fuckin shady. no I don’t really care he was doing it for a good cause, he still forced the wol into a war he knew could kill them without giving them full information abt the consequences and held their friends as ransom and only told them the barest of information after they were already in the shits (holminster). so we’ll see how it goes.
my other quibbles are pettier, and are more the result of time/mmo constraints. like I said once, I’d have liked the lightwarden corruption to be more obviously present (as the game pointedly goes out of its way right at the start to show you exactly what being mid-change looks like) and for maybe at least one more containment failure scare in the tempest to really hammer home how little time you have left (was genuinely surprised there wasn’t one) but that’s easy as fuck to fix in writing when you have unlimited scope.
tl;dr: it’s not that I hate what happened in HW, it’s that I think that while it’s an overall good scene a lot of it’s potential was wasted by a failure to give certain people (estinien) agency or depth (despite the fact he has massive stakes in them), and focuses on the wrong aspect bc it wants to laugh at a woman being wrong instead of the big picture. I think that all of the expacs have their fumble points, and I think these deserve to be talked abt critically. I otherwise really enjoy and even love HW/ShB.
StB is however an entire trip into a minecraft canyon of an expac. I don’t think it’s irredeemably awful, but you can definitely feel the writing issues. the less I say abt hien the better.
#spoilers#major spoilers#long post#these are kinda just my general thoughts. if you have specific questions on what I thought abt specific areas or plot beats#or characters or whatever feel free to throw them at me#all in all I think each expac has it's ups and downs bc that's kinda just how it goes#I think shb/hw manage to deliver pretty well on their narratives while stb utterly biffs it.#like I said I know I make it seem like I utterly hate the content. that it's deeply flawed bc I just bitch a ton but I *really* don't#I'm just a writer who's love language re:media is ripping it the fuck apart bc I like seeing how it ticks.#when it comes to media made by huge companies at least.#saint.txt
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Dear Diary. Just the other day I had learned that someone I know is in a state of mental distress. I’m not sure what there support system looks like but I also know that there are several people who just want the drama and they then go at it.
It sucks that you are going through this but it really does irritate me to know that trying to parse something down to the molecular level isn’t going to help the situation and also doesn’t offer up solutions nor provides tools to help. MF dealing with shit is definitely harder than putting together something from fucking IKEA. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Yeah I can go back to a place that hurts me and explain the trauma.
Yeah I can go to YouTube and find a video for whatever you are feeling but that’s not gonna solve anything.
Yeah I can then go to the interwebs and find a quote for you and it still won’t solve the anything.
Yeah I also know that I sometimes don’t take the advice that I dish out.
In my world, I allow myself to have these feelings and I allow myself to vomit my feelings. In my world, I believe that shit happens and yes, I’ll hold onto them until I realize that these great big pieces of emotional luggage needs to be checked through never to be seen again.
At the job, I’m usually in a foul mood because of the people I have to interact with because I don’t have time for them nor am I able to deal with their manufactured drama. I don’t want to give them my time or effort. Even the ones who should know better are still attempting to stir the pot meanwhile they’re trying to make it look like they don’t have a ladle or a paint brush and a 55 gallon drum of black paint.
I come here to say shit all the while knowing that lots of people who are on this app don’t read nor comment on my verbal diarrhea. Bitch please. I do read their posts and I don’t comment either. It’s very much like TikTok or Instagram, scroll on by.
Regardless of whether or not I deal with shit or not is my prerogative. The only thing I can do is fight. I fight with all my demons and my feelings and eventually I do come through.
People blather on about how they can communicate and all that rot but I also know that they have their problems and yeah pretty much.
I’m able to say that I have been homeless junkie prostitute and thief and a Shitkicker and I wanted someone to pay attention to me as playwright Arthur Miller scribed the following sentence in “Death of a Salesman,” ‘Attention must be paid.’”
Exactly. The character Willie Loman had been overlooked for most of his life and in his career but now that he’s passed…we’ve got to stop and see that he is and was a human being who existed.
I’ve got my own feelings about this but I also know that some folks don’t care if I have feelings about this that or third. Then I do know that there are some folks who actually care about me because I’ve touched their lives.
I’m going to tell you one story about me and the guilt I often feel.
I honestly forgot exactly how old I was at the time of this incident but I know that I had not moved to NYC yet. My family had a dog and her name was Tabitha. She was a former show dog and was just so beautiful and so sweet. Also she was skittish about herky jerky movements. That night I was given the task to take Tabs on a walk and she’d do her business. I walked down the street, I took a right turn and we walked to the parking lot behind my house. Since it had snowed the night before we were left with a huge pile of snow at the opposite end of the parking lot. We ran like fools. We both had run up the snowbank. I lost my footing and I slipped and fell. I screamed out and Tabs got freaked and bolted away from me. I immediately chased after her. Tabs was a Saluki and she ran like the wind. She would easily outrun Usain Bolt. The next thing I knew, a car appeared out of nowhere and she got hit. I freaked the fuck out and bellowed every single swear word I could ever muster at the occupants of the car. Tabs ran back to the house and I found her on the front porch. I began to wail as to bring my family onto the porch. I screamed and cried and the whole house shook. Eventually my mom and, I think, my brother and sister came out. I told them what happened and as I was explaining it all to them, the occupants of the car were standing on the porch watching me lose my shit. Tabs had a broken leg. She came through it all with flying colors. She wasn’t afraid of me. I thought she’d just avoid me because of the trauma she went through. I’m not sure what happened after that but I did come to learn that my mom had made the decision to to rehome Tabs. From what I remember, Tabitha lived out her life on a 25 acre farm in Vermont.
That was one of many things slash trauma I went through with the dogs and cats in my life.
There are many other things that I’ve experienced in my life that have made me feel numb. When I was with my brother over the weekend, I nonchalantly said that I no longer cry. He said something about how I should cry etc but I ignored him. He has no clue what I’ve been through and why I rarely cry.
Recently my husband’s dog, CoCo passed away. It hurt me deeply but I still love that little fucker to no end. It’s now just myself and my Harry.
I have my moments but I absolutely refuse to let the world know that I’m in pain. I put on the blinders and march forward. Though in my private life, I let the emotions run amok. Then the next morning, I’m able to deal with this shit and I don’t allow it to absolutely consume me anymore.
The one thing I do want you to know is that, you should find an outlet to vomit your feelings and not give permission to control you. Like I said before, I don’t always listen to me and do the right thing or the correct thing. There’s no wrong or right way but if there’s one thing that you can take away from this, it’s a learning experience that will help you build a stairway to paradise. I may never get there but I will fight for me and that’s all that matters.
Lastly, I will leave you with some lyrics to a song that hits my heart and was playing on my iPod when I drove up to vets office with CoCo in my lap and before I said goodbye.
“Well, I wasted years,/All the useless, bitter tears./If I'd known I'd have stopped it at the start./I knew life was long,/And I knew life could go wrong,/But I never knew my life would break my heart./'Cause I made, and I'm gonna lie in my bed of roses./Bed of roses I believed my life would be./Bed of roses I believed my life would be.” written by Bonnie Hayes & sung by Bette Midler.
Rage. Feel some kind of way. Scream. Break things. You do you. Fuck them all.
Then there’s this piece of sage advice that I adhere to on the daily, “Pour yourself a drink (or beverage of choice), put on some lipstick and pull yourself together,” so said Elizabeth Taylor.
😶
#dear diary#no your not the only one#i wrote this for me#inside my mind#my words#my writing#ramblings#pity party#bipolar depression#lgbtq#fuck them all#keep moving forward
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What about Lady Soot with everyone? I already asked about her with Vivia a lot but what about the other detectives and Kurumi?
OH OH THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!!!! I do have a liiiittle bit written in a separate Google doc so I’ll just copy paste it here LOL
Yuma Kokohead: Lady and Yuma would get along rather well, I think! He might get overwhelmed from time to time because of how hyperactive she is naturally, but it’s nothing he can’t deal with (he deals with Shinigami, who’s rather similar to her in that regard.) He has a hard time understanding her sugary metaphors and her rapid speech patterns, along with everyone else. Regardless, Lady’s always super sweet to him and acts like a big sister figure to him.
Thoughts?
Yuma: She’s weird, but she doesn’t seem bad! She’s just a bit…crazy.
Lady: Little Lavender Macaron! He’s such a sweetie. Seems to get into a lot of trouble with the Peacekeepers, and I thought I was bad with that!
Shinigami: Putting these two in a room is an awful idea, an awful idea that I fully support. When these two meet in the Mystery Labyrinth, I think Shinigami would kinda rip on her, as she does with everyone. But Lady kinda wouldn’t care and she’d still be super nice to Shinigami, even offering to make her favorite dessert for her. Eventually, they both kinda realize that they have similar energies to each other and use that to lovingly bully Yuma.
Thoughts?
Shinigami: Jeez, I can’t believe that sugar coated minx and I get along so well! Hell, she kinda does my job for me! Kyahahaha!
Lady: Really pretty! Her hair reminds me of strawberry and vanilla yogurt! Man, now I want yogurt, or maybe even a parfait!
Yakou Furio: They probably see each other as father and daughter, if only the daughter was a bit of a little shit that lovingly bullies the shit out of the dad. Directly jumping onto the sleeping chief to make sure he wakes up on time or sneaking in the Nocturnal Detective Agency at 4 in the morning to make him breakfast, Lady truly cares about the chief. Even when she shows how much she cares, she’s still gonna be a hardass on him, and it only confuses the poor chief.
Thoughts?
Yakou: It’s hard to understand what goes on in that head of hers. As her boss, I can definitely attest to that. But despite it, she has a real heart of gold, always making sweet treats for the other detectives.
Lady: The chief needs to get up on time more. He’s lucky he’s got such a cutesy wootsy little gal helping out on cases and whatnot, making everything as smooth as meringue!
Halara Nightmare: Halara definitely hates Lady’s sugary antics, probably finding her rather annoying. But, they’re willing to give credit where it’s due, commending Lady for being able to investigate thoroughly whilst making it snappy and also refusing to use her Forte, especially in front of others. Despite it though, they can’t help but find Lady to be a bit insane for refusing to use her Forte in the first place.
Thoughts?
Halara: Lady Soot is the definition of insanity. To blatantly refuse to use her Forte and make baseless guesses in its place, it’s an awful way of working. But, I can’t help but notice her hypotheses are always made with her observations in mind, which makes her work rather commendable.
Lady: Halara’s a lot like sour gummy candy! They’ve got a sour exterior that’s almost hard to even stand. But once you get to know them, you realize how sweet they can be! They and I both know full well the only way I can pay them back is with sugary treats that are homemade!
Desuhiko Thunderbolt: Desuhiko and Lady would definitely tease each other as if they really were siblings. They joke around and goof off like they’re siblings too! The only time Lady really gets fed up with Desuhiko is whenever he tries hitting on a girl, and she just gives him a swift smack on the back of his head in typical sibling fashion.
Thoughts?
Desuhiko: Pinkie? Oh, she’s awesome! I like to think she’s our personal sugar dealer! Just wish she’d back off sometimes so I can pick up some cuties~
Lady: He’s so cute, I wanna throw him at the wall and watch him go “splat!” Ahahaha! Just wish that little banana split would ease up on the women though, he’s making ‘em feel sour!
Fubuki Clockford: Gal pals, 100%. Fubuki and Lady would have such a cute friendship, like Fubuki offers to help Lady bake and after so many times of refusing it (because Lady’s even more stubborn than a damn mule), she eventually gives in, and that leads to both Fubuki and Lady having the time of their lives! Once Fubuki found out that Lady was homeless before she became a detective, she goes up to her and wants to learn everything there is to know about fending for yourself and survival. After all, Fubuki wants to be the best adventurer-detective she wants to be, and Lady would definitely help out with that!
Thoughts?
Fubuki: Lady is a very sweet friend, and an amazing adventurer-detective! It would be an honor to learn how to be a better adventurer-detective from her!
Lady: Such a sweetheart! We’ve gotta have her bake with me more, she did great!
Vivia Twilight: If these two aren’t the definition of opposites attract, I don’t know what is. Despite them being completely different in so many ways, they do have a couple things in common, and they use them to get along. Not to mention that Lady’s the only one who understands what he’s even saying to begin with. But in turn, no one else understands her because she too speaks in weird ways, mainly metaphors revolving around sugar!
Thoughts?
Vivia: Ah, Lady… The Yin to my Yang… It’s beautiful how flowers can bloom even in the darkest of times.
Lady: Aww, I love Vivia! Heck, what’s a twist without both chocolate and vanilla, y’know? Ahahaha!
Kurumi Wendy: When Yuma first introduced the two, I think Kurumi might’ve gotten a little bit jealous of Lady for teaming up with Yuma? But Lady was quick to shut any ideas down, and that probably made Kurumi feel a bit better about her. After that though, Lady’s definitely treating her as if she were a detective, even though Kurumi’s just an informant. She considers that being just as important, and that alone is enough for Lady to show her the same amount of respect as the other detectives!
Thoughts?
Kurumi: Lady’s really nice, always offering me sweets when I stop by with Yuma! Part of me feels guilty for not accepting, but she seems to not be hurt by it.
Lady: I’m rooting for her! Really waiting for the day she becomes a detective. I can see how passionate she is about it, and that’s just what we need at the WDO!
#shut the fuck down ava#ava’s asks#master detective archives: rain code#rain code#original character#rain code oc#mdarc#mdarc oc#lady soot#yuma kokohead#rain code shinigami#shinigami#yakou furio#halara nightmare#desuhiko thunderbolt#fubuki clockford#vivia twilight#kurumi wendy#twisoot
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wow that faculty meeting was unexpectedly great and gave me a huge burst of energy/inspiration. I was just gonna do basic intros but we got into a super fun conversation about teaching first-year writing and I ended up pitching a more ambitious collaboration to him, which he turned out to be SO into!! he had a ton of ideas for going even further with lower-division curricular integration & started talking about looping me in to this new minor they’re creating to see if we can make it a requirement for all students in the minor.
I feel like a fair percentage of the faculty I talk to in my job are super burned out and kinda jaded, like “oh that’s a cool idea but how could anyone ever expect us to do more work it’ll never happen.” but they will also talk at length about being starved for a sense of purpose in their work or a sense of connection with their colleagues and sometimes I’m like… listen purpose/connection don’t just spring out of nowhere? you have to put some work in to cultivate them but investing that energy usually pays you back a hundred times over? this guy is super busy and leads a large department and is dealing with the same type of workload but he was just like “hey let’s talk this through let’s think about how we could make this happen let’s set up some meetings to get you introduced to people let’s figure out how to make this feel feasible for people I really think we can do this.” idk the teaching burdens are real! the burnout feelings are real! I don’t want to discount that at all! but I also really appreciate people who live in the space of possibility and curiosity and not that cramped closed-off space of “how could anyone possibly ask more of me! everything in my work drains me! nothing in it recharges me!” he was realistic about what it would take to get this done but also idk his whole attitude was hey this sounds meaningful and would benefit everyone involved so why don’t we just try it and see what comes of it?
anyway who knows what will come of it! but I felt like I took something away from that meeting regardless, which was like… why not be the kind of person who makes the people you interact with feel like things are possible? even if you are busy and tired you don’t have to makes everyone around you feel like everything is way too hard/exhausting/a drain on your resources/a major imposition. you can still say no to stuff or be critical at times but your default attitude can be like, let’s think through this instead of dismissing the idea out of hand. mm idk I just think it’s easy to unconsciously absorb the dominant mood/tone of your institutional culture and I want to think about how I can check that in myself and gravitate towards that space of curiosity and possibility instead.
#I find that having those kinds of positive encounters also just recharges/revitalizes me in a big way#I was so energized by that 30 min talk alone that afterwards I just powered through all this work I thought I was too tired for
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Sports Fics Masterlist
Arcadia (ao3) - paperstorm michael/luke E, 140k
Summary: Crisp, thin air. The rough scrape of blades on ice. The jumbled, unintelligible echo of male voices, ringing off the rafters and bouncing through the empty seats. The familiar smell, sweaty equipment and rubber flooring and Zamboni fluid. Luke’s taken to closing his eyes sometimes, cutting off his primary sense, and just absorbing the noise and the scent and the feel of cool air on his cheeks. That way, regardless of where he is, an arena still feels like home. Or, an AU in which Luke is a small-town hockey superstar who gets drafted to the Montreal Canadiens, Ashton is the bubbly team Captain, Calum is a defenceman with a bad habit of settling on-ice conflicts with his fists, and Michael is the NHL's first openly gay player.
Breakaway (ao3) - mukeclemmings michael/luke T, 8k
Summary: Luke was paying thousands of dollars a year to study journalism at university so that he could get a job at Rolling Stone, not Sports Illustrated. So, why had Luke, of all people, been assigned to write an article on hockey superstar, the university’s golden boy, Michael Clifford?
(Michael is a college hockey player and Luke is a journalism student who hates athletes.)
desperation (my chest hurts) (ao3) - retromalum michael/calum G, 4k
Summary: Desperation. That’s all Michael can taste in this kiss. It’s written all over his mouth in his messy handwriting, it’s obvious in the way his tongue props at his own mouth. Kissing Calum after so long is like coming back home after a long day, except for the fact that he hasn’t seen him in over four years. And he’s all the same.
or
The one where Calum chooses football over music and leaves the rest of the boys on their own. They fall apart.
Get A Little Unruly (ao3) - senioritastyles ot4 E, 9k
Summary: OT4 college sports AU in which sex happens every time a team wins.
It was always you (ao3) - CliffordAffliction luke/calum, michael/ashton E, 48k
Summary: Everyone wants Calum Hood and Luke can have him just as long as it’s on Calum’s terms. Thing’s take a turn for the worst when Luke begins to push Calum away, fed up with the way he treats him, and Calum begins to realize how much he really needs Luke in his life after all.
Lost Hearts (ao3) - CliffordAffliction ot4 E, 177k
Summary: Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can't possibly end well...or can it?
made of glass and careless (ao3) - dazedlight (opinionoutpost) luke/ashton E, 42k
Summary: Ashton is a maintenance worker at the local hockey rink. Luke plays for the local hockey team. They like each other most times.
My Cobain Shirt (ao3) - unconditionalcalum michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 14k
Summary: Michael's heart skipped a beat. Did he, Calum fucking Hood, just talk to him, Michael? Michael managed to smile at him quickly before the tanned boy walked away, already talking to someone else.
It never happened before. Until this moment, Michael wasn't even sure Calum knew he existed. But apparently, he did.
* * *
Or: the one where the shy boy with the bright hair (Michael) has a hopeless crush on the popular soccer-player-with-a-scholarship (Calum).
Off The Field (ao3) - crikeymatee michael/calum, luke/ashton E, 110k
Summary: "Neither one of you are playing until you learn to get along. You're both benched for the remaining games unless you learn to get along with each other." Coach said.
"WHAT?!", they screamed in unison.
"How am I supposed to get along with this, t-this fag?!"
"Oh fuck you, you self-centered little bitch."
Playin’ In The Street, Gonna Be A Big Man Some Day(ao3) - senoritastyles calum/ashton G, 3k
Summary: “Alright, Ohio calls the toss since they’re the home team.” The ref says, holding a coin in his hand and looking at Ashton. “Call it.” He requests, flipping the coin into the air.
“Heads.” Ashton says, eyes mischievous when they catch Calum’s through the masks on their helmets.
Calum subtly shakes his head with a smirk and the ref bends to pick up the coin off the ground. “Heads it is. Ohio, it’s your choice.”
Ashton smirks and looks knowingly at his boyfriend. “We’ll kick off first.”
Or: Calum and Ashton face off in the national college football championship.
Pom-Pom Waving Queen (ao3) - twinkylukey luke/ashton E, 3k
Summary: Luke is a popular cheerleader; Ashton is a popular football player. They’re the perfect match for each other.
We're Falling Apart, But Coming Together (ao3) - sugarysnaps luke/ashton M, 16k
Summary: No matter how far apart they were, stood on opposite sides of the locker room, this was Ashton he was talking about. Ashton, the boy who had encouraged Luke to be himself. Ashton, the boy who had vigilantly and with all of himself protected Luke and his feelings first and foremost. Ashton, the boy he’d shared his first kiss with. Ashton his first best friend. Just, Ashton, in as many and as little words and memories that floated between them. Luke took a tentative step forward, into the heartache and beauty of friendship loved and lost, his heart thudding and ramming against his chest.
Luke and Ashton grow up together; respectively as a figure skater and hockey player. But no matter the differences or the distance between them, they can always count on the fact that they are inevitably two halves of a whole, drawn to each other by an undeniable attraction and a mutual understanding of the other.
Wrong Way (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton E, 9k
Summary: Two high schoolers who won't admit they think the other is cute and some well-intentioned friends means that while Ashton's looking for Calum on the Hockey field, Calum's looking for Ashton at the library; what's to be done when you're pretty sure that cute guy in your English class is avoiding you?
You Ain't No Friend Of Mine (ao3) - CliffordAffliction michael/luke, luke/oc
Summary: Luke hates Michael and Michael hates Luke ever since they started playing on rival teams but it turns out that they don't hate each other as much as everyone thinks
You'll Be Stuck On It Cause My Love's So Good (ao3) - senioritastyles luke/ashton E, 15k
Summary: "How was it? How was it, Ash? Was it fun? Did you throw the ball? Was it awesome? Did they-"
"Lu, too many questions." Ashton chuckles, petting at Luke's hair as he moves his awkwardly growing fourteen year old body towards the backyard with his twelve year old best friend and neighbor close behind him.
Ashton sits on the warm grass, tossing his shoulder pads and helmet to the side and kicking his muddy cleats off, turning to look at Luke's tanned face and they way it makes his eyes look an even brighter blue than normal. Luke looks anxious to know about Ashton's first football practice, brimming with so many questions that they'd probably be here all night if Ashton let Luke keep asking, and he knows it's only because this is the first thing that Ashton's done without Luke in pretty much forever and that Luke's curious because he wants to play football too. Luke isn't old enough for the town league yet though, and he won't be for two more years so right now he's stuck with living vicariously through Ashton.
Or: Luke and Ashton are football buddies until they're not and then they are again and then they're not and---okay, you get it.
#5sosfanfictioncatalogue#5 seconds of summer#5sos#ashton irwin#calum hood#luke hemmings#michael clifford#sports#sports masterlist#au#masterlists
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Kamaria, Amar, Tafari, Sarah Jane, and Isaac all sat in attendance for the winter ballet recital for Shea, Luna, and Jordyn. “I’m so proud of our Luna, getting principal dancer,” Sarah whispered to Tafari beside her. In the back row, Kamaria rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak. Amar placed his hand over hers. “Don’t,” he said softly. “Not worth it.”
“They’re just kids, it’s not that serious,” Isaac whispered to Sarah Jane. Kamaria snickered loudly at the comment. Amar rubbed his eyes; he knew this was about to snowball into a big thing. His wife hated her sister-in-law, and with each passing moment, it seemed like the chances for a normal night out were dwindling. “Be quiet and pay attention,” Sarah Jane hissed back at Isaac.
On stage, Luna and Jordyn were performing their dance moves perfectly, just as they’d practiced over and over again in class. Shea was having a hard time keeping up, but she was determined to get through this.
The music quickened and the girls fell more and more out of sync, with Shea lagging behind. Kamaria looked over to Amar, but he motioned for her to pay attention. Regardless of how the kids performed, they had to stay calm and let them know they did a good job.
The recital was coming to an end, which meant it was time for a special move. Shea had struggled with it time and time again in class, never able to really nail it. As the music hit a crescendo, Luna and Jordyn did a deep bow into an elegant move, while Shea nearly tripped over her feet. “Get it together, dyke,” Luna called back to her cousin.
Shea dropped her arms to her side. “What did you just call me!?” she exclaimed. “Oh no,” Isaac said from the crowd.
“You heard me!” Luna said, spinning around and crossing her arms. “I called you a dyke, cus you are!” “Don’t call me names!” Shea shouted, shoving her cousin in the shoulders. “Don’t push me!” Luna shouted back, pushing Shea right back. “Ok, ok, let’s break it up girls!” the dance instructor called. “That was a great performance, right everyone?” Commotion trickled into the audience as the recital ended.
“I want that child kicked out of class and punished!” Sarah Jane shouted. “Oh, of course you do!” Kamaria shouted back. “We all heard what your daughter called mine! Shea was completely in her right to defend herself.”
“By physically attacking my child!?” Sarah Jane exclaimed, incredulous. “You’re a monster if you’re raising your kid to think that that behavior is ok!” “And your homophobic views are obviously influencing your kid, too,” Kamaria said, crossing her arms. “Where’d Luna even learn that word, huh? Is that how you talk about my daughter in your home?” “Uncle Isaac, I’m scared! I wanna go home!” Jordyn called from on stage.
“You see what you’ve caused!?” Sarah Jane spat. “Teaching kids that it’s ok to fight, now you’re scaring the children. Real classy.” “You know what, I’m not gonna play this game with you,” Kamaria said, gathering her things. “Tafari, get a handle on your wife and how she speaks to me and my family, or you’ll never see me again.” Sarah Jane huffed out a breath, then grabbed onto Luna and marched them out the door.
#Zarro legacy#generation 6#generation 7#Kamaria#Tafari#Isaac#Shea#Luna#Jordyn#Amar#Sarah Jane#it is really crazy how much Amar and Isaac look alike#imagine your husband and cousin were basically clones of one another?#creepy tbh#also sj is turning into a crazy mom im so sorry
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seojin:
“I mean… Nah, neither of them are gonna appear where we are. Prolly crayfish at this point. I’ve heard my dad talking about how he’s found some around now in rivers. They’re like mini lobsters, right?”
Admittedly, Seojin’s knowledge of marine and river life was limited. Anything he does know teeters on his interest in cooking and recent job at a higher end restaurant. Music ( and exercise ) always took precedent over more ‘cerebral’ subjects that involved storing countless useless facts. However, sometimes a random bit of information would work its way through his muck filled brain and spill from his lips.
Seojin always spoke with an immovable confidence regardless of being correct of not. If it made the other party react and possibly spark a debate or a fit of laughter, he considered the risk worth the reward. Allegedly, the same could be said about his other ambitions.
He shrugs. “I’m betting we catch a bunch of catfish, though. That’s the kind you can catch with your hands. When my unit was training with the American marines, one guy showed us and pulled out a giant ass catfish.” He imitates the scene by raising one hand over his head. “I seriously wasn’t joking about that.” Well, maybe a little but getting into one of his countless wild stories from his enlistment period could be saved for future interviews or conversations with .
The line of Jiho’s fishing pole appears to tighten, the pliant tip of it bending downward at the water. He reflexively reaches across to place his hand over the other’s, urging one of them to wrap its fingers around the winder. “It looks like you caught one already. Wind the thing and pull or you’re gonna lose it!”
honestly, as seojin talks, jiho isn’t really sure how much of it is truth and how much of it is exaggerated. most of it sounds believable enough, considering he really doesn’t know anything about fishing and was mostly along for the ride, but catching fish with your bare hands sounds almost superhuman to him.
he’s sure it’s possible, but he also kind of really wants to see it with his bare eyes before really believing it. so, well, he’s a little bit disappointed that seojin isn’t planning on showing off with it. either way, jiho isn’t planning on arguing, on the sole basis that he doesn’t have enough knowledge on any of the subjects they’re talking to actually discuss anything in depth so he decides to just nod and go along with it.
the sudden tug on his fishing rod is jarring enough that he’s fully pulled from the conversation, and it’s genuinely surprising that the rod wasn’t pulled straight out of his hands with how little attention he was paying to it. perhaps it’s was beginner’s luck that he had somehow gotten the first bite and he turns with a clear deer-in-headlights expression on his face to the older male, and is instantly grateful when the other starts telling him what to do. he starts winding the string, eyes still and he gasps as a fish comes out of the water on the end of the hook.
“what—what is that?”
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affectionate S/O
Pairings; Leon x reader, Ada x reader, Wesker x reader, Piers x reader (separate) Gender Neutral! I say “shit” once in Ada’s part and once in Piers’ Note; for Leon, Ada, and Wesker I’m going off of the original games from 1996 & 1998, because I personally don’t like the personality changes they made for the remakes, so this may be a little different from other works.
Leon; -Honestly loves having an affectionate S/O because being held is one of his favourite grounding techniques and a peaceful way to spend time together -That said, random cheek kisses will always fluster him -Does he show it? Not since Spain, but if you pay attention you can see the happy glint in his eyes and the goofy smile he has for the rest of the day -He truly lives for hand holding, even just linking pinkies while on a walk somewhere, it’s one of his favourite things in the world -He’s lowkey super affectionate too but doesn’t realise he’s doing it? One of his arms is almost always around his S/O (unless they’re holding hands) but he truly doesn’t notice until someone points it out, but even then he won’t stop unless his S/O has a problem with it -Absolutely ADORES cuddling, especially spooning on the sofa while watching some cheesy action movie (that he 100% talks through, by the way) -One arm around his S/O, the other under his head, making fun of every stupid thing the characters do? Heaven on earth, in his opinion -Will wrap his arms around his S/O and rest his head on their head/shoulder/back at random (he gives a little warning beforehand, but the timing is random) -I think he’d love it if his S/O sat in his lap, regardless of weight or insecurity. He’s strong and cuddly, he can hold his beloved, and if they just plonked themself right down while he’s in his home office he’ll ignore his paperwork for the rest of the day -100% gets flustered if his S/O sits him in their lap instead though, and it’s very very cute
Ada; -Definitely was not prepared -Her S/O just wrapped their arms around her from behind out of the blue and I mean obviously she’s not gonna show it cause she’s Ada Wong but she’s very caught off guard -And usually when she’s caught off guard it’s in a dangerous situation, so naturally her first instinct is to attack or be on the defensive, yet in that moment her S/O is so close and comforting that she truly can’t think of anything other than “must hold” and so she does -Ada finds herself copying her S/O’s affectionate habits and it lowkey confuses the shit out of her because she’ll kiss her S/O’s cheek in passing and blue screen for a few seconds wondering why she did that -She also really likes receiving cheek kisses, it’s her favourite random display of affection -If her S/O likes playing with or holding her (Ada’s) hands, she finds herself subconsciously reaching out for them -It’s very cute, and while she does initially try to stop herself from doing it, she eventually just accepts the fact that she sometimes wants to hold her beloved’s hands -I think Ada would get her S/O really soft and warm blankets (the expensive kind, y’all know she can afford it) so they can have something to curl up with whenever she’s on a long job, and she’s so thankful that she thought of that cause it means she can snuggle up with her S/O on the bay window in winter, hot drink in hand and blankets all around them both -TL;DR, Ada actually likes being held and you can’t change my mind -Try it, I dare you
Wesker; -Part of me wants to say that he did research on couples before asking his S/O out, but the other part wants me to make him the worst himbo in history -And as much as I adore Wesker, making fun of him is just so much better -So I’m gonna say he had no idea someone could be so genuinely affectionate without wanting anything from him (sad, I know) which really confused him at first cause his S/O would hold his hand, hug him, or kiss him and he’d be all “yes? What do you want?” in his scary total world domination voice but S/O would just go “???? To hold you????” queue confused Wesker noises -For a while, whenever his S/O gave him random kisses or hugs, he thought it was their way of saying they wanted attention instead of them just expressing their adoration -Sometimes he waved them off which confused S/O but other times he’d just pull them onto his lap and continue his work? Like okay great you’re comfortable with S/O sitting on your lap but they just made a drink and it’s gonna be icky room temperature soon sir please I know this work is important to you but SO IS THE DRINK -He’s a very comfy chair though so it kinda makes up for the drink his S/O is gonna cringe drinking later -But from that point onwards his S/O stays with him while he’s working (if he’s at home or took them to work with him), either on his lap or next to him with their head on his shoulder, and he just accepted his fate -The more his S/O hugs him the more he finds himself longing for their touch when they’re not around but that’s such a foreign feeling to him that he spends his on-site work hours trying to figure out what happened and why he feels like that -It takes him a while to process it when he finally figured out that his S/O isn’t doing anything to him and that he actually just wants to spend time with them -Chaotic dumbass, truly -He probably takes time to prepare something cute for his S/O (wow, he must really love them if he’s taking time out of his big boy total world domination scheme to spend time with them) -His heart’s in the right place (sometimes) but he still can’t cook so maybe S/O should take over the celebratory feast preparations, aye? Unless they also can’t cook, in that case just order take out or cry
Piers; -Dog boy arf arf -Absolutely thriving, living his best life -Does he get flustered with any amount of affection, big or small? Yes 100%. Does he still love it so much he gets giddy thinking about it? Duh. -Oddly smooth at giving random affection too, and you wouldn’t think it cause he’s a good boy (woof woof bark arf) but if his S/O gives him a random mwah kiss on the cheek he’s actually able to do it back before he realises what happened and gets all fksgfljdpl -Bonus points if it’s in public/around his team because his team playfully poke fun at him for how cute n sweet he is but he’d do it again in a heartbeat if it made his S/O happy -The way to really get him is forehead kisses or small side hugs -Do that while he’s working and he can’t think of anything else for the rest of the day, guaranteed -Even if it’s a daily occurrence, he still gets so caught up in the whole “omg my S/O is so cute and holy shit they love me” thing that he can’t do much else for a while -Obviously if the BSAA desperately needs his help then he’ll find a way to focus but the point is that he really really appreciates any and all affection from his S/O, okay? -PLEASE if his S/O hugged him from behind while he was cooking he might just spontaneously combust -He’s actually a good cook (unlike SOME people on this list) so he knows how to maneuver around the kitchen with his beloved attached to his back without setting the whole kitchen on fire (it’s Leon that I’m making fun of, if you couldn’t tell) -Poor boy has a lot of exhausting work to do and as much as I like to believe he has endless amounts of energy (dog boy arf arf), everyone has their limits, so sometimes he just wants to lay under a blanket & watch a movie, S/O on his chest or him on their chest, either is fine he’s not picky -Just, cuddly Piers & his cute S/O. Destroys my heart. Capcom bring him back challenge
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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please remember to take care of yourself! <3
I spent a good few minutes trying to figure out how to spell maneuver and had to ask my sister (same one that the incorrect quotes come from) for help. Could’ve sworn there’s an o in maneuver, but apparently not?
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#seriously is there not an o in maneuver?#my best subject was maths i have no idea about words#and yet i make hcs? what a world we live in#resident evil x reader#leon x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#leon gets 3 tags cause he's extra#leon can't cook#ada x reader#ada wong x reader#wesker x reader#albert wesker x reader#piers x reader#piers nivans x reader#gender neutral
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How does one restart their manifestation journey? This is the first time I've restart, because I was spiralling pretty bad (too much overconsumption), but I'm pretty proud of long I lasted without spiralling tbh.
Restarting Manifestation Journey & Simple Manifesting
[TLDR available at the end]
I usually don’t recommend ‘restarting’ manifestation journeys cause people go in the mindset of disregarding their previous efforts on manifestation whenever they refresh it. Instead I recommend just telling yourself the spiral no matter how bad it is, never happened. Just revise it off and continue.
But if you do need to restart that badly,
First keep yourself off all methods which might make you anxious,
eg. 555 method. I’ve seen so many people go ‘OH MY GOD I MISSED A DAY what do I do’ or ‘OH MT GOD I ONLY WROTE IT 34 TIMES will it work’ or something and stress out about it. Same with most methods like scripting, etc. I love them and they’re fun but if they make you anxious when you don’t got time, simply don’t do it.
Instead do something simple like affirming and SATS. You go to sleep every night or two regardless of where you’re at or how busy you are. You can simply visualise yourself telling other people as if you’ve already manifested what you want when you go to sleep and replay the scene over and over in your head.
Reminder: Again, While replaying, it doesn’t have to be exact same sentences in every rendition. Just like if you want money- just think about talking about how you have this high paying job. Just keep thinking about it and visualise other people telling you how amazing your job is as you go to sleep. Do not complicate it. It’s simply as f*ck.
Other than that, keep 10 minutes out of everyday. This could be during your commute or when you’re laying down or when you wake up, anytime. Just for those 10 minutes, affirm and visualise yourself living your dream life. This could be done multiple times a day too.
Reminder: Again I repeat do not panic if you don’t do it for a day, your manifestation is still perfectly on its way. The moment you intended it to be there, it’s been there in the 4D. One day of skipping nothing is gonna reverse that.
Then of course, just be mindful of your thoughts. If they spiral, act like they never did. That’s it.
[TLDR] So to summarise:
If possible, revise don’t restart
If restarting, do these three: SAT, 10 minute visualisation/affirming and mind your thoughts.
#law of assumption#neville goddard#manifesting#manifestation#loa#affirmations#loassumption#manifestations#self concept#master manifestor
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