#which makes so much sense

[apricusapollo]

me and my best friend (who has never seen teen wolf) were talking and we have decided that liam is rapunzel, theo is flynn, corey is pascal and mason is maximus

[astuteobservations]

Lorde on her website

[soobiesworld]

watching grease and all i can say is daniel - sandy and johnny - danny

[melien]

[theirony-of-choking-on-this-dick]

so i had to call my doctor

so i can get a note

so i can submit it my job

so i can use my sick time

so i can take a couple mental health days

[maxtothemax]

okay i'm reading something for my literary theory class rn and it's giving me Thoughts about why the passage of time in max ride is so fucking jarring. i don't think that what i'm about to say is anything that others haven't pointed out about MR before, but i do think that it situates james patterson's writing within a larger literary tradition, SO!

the russian literary scholar mikhail bakhtin uses this term called "adventure-time" (i know, bear with me) to describe a particular style of time passage in novels (particularly in the genre of the greek romance, but it's applicable elsewhere). basically, adventure-time is a form of story-time outside of the "realistic" passage of time, where a bunch of different things happen to the characters that 1) have no impact on their character development, and 2) would realistically take up the duration of years in their life, but by the end of the story, the characters basically haven't aged. a good modern example of this concept is pokemon: ash ketchum has been ten years old for 20+ years, but because the story of pokemon takes place in "adventure-time," he experiences several lifetimes' worth of adventures and never ages.

similarly, maximum ride seems to take place in adventure-time. over the course of nine books, max and the flock only age roughly about one year. their adventures happen in this compressed story timeframe that has no relation to real-world time. others have noticed this; it's not a particularly new thought. adventure-time isn't uncommon in literature, though - these days, a good number of stories for kids in particular take place with this kind of nebulous time-frame (see again: pokemon). since it dates back to greek antiquity, it's a common way to conceptualize story-time.

HOWEVER. another attribute of adventure-time, as it's used in the greek romance, is that it lacks any references to real historical time. basically, any greek romance should be able to be read as though it's taking place in the reader's time, even if it was written 300 years earlier. nothing should jar the reader out of the sense that the story is taking place in adventure-time. (this used to be a lot more common in storytelling, and i feel like it's fallen out of favor because of the specificity of technology in different eras these days - it's hard to write a story now with any technology that feels truly timeless, but i digress.)

as others have pointed out, max's narration mentions markers of time and pop culture references that date the books very specifically. for example, in the second book (published around 2006), ari steals a gameboy from a department store; then, in the 7th (?) book, it mentions that it's 2010, but the flock have only aged about one year since the beginning of the series. by 2010, you likely wouldn't be able to buy a gameboy in a department store, and those are the types of chronological dissonances that readers absolutely latch onto (see: the entire history of the maximum ride fandom).

SO BASICALLY: maximum ride is doing this really weird thing where it's trying to take place in adventure-time (which requires readers to not think too hard about the passage of time), while also inserting very specific references that almost force readers to think about chronological time. if these specific references were taken out, i'd bet that readers would have an easier time excusing the sheer amount of events that supposedly take place within a single year of the flock's life, because nothing in the narration itself would prompt them to think about it.

anyway. james patterson doesn't understand adventure-time. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[onebizarrekai]

so like it was a universal experience to play ocarina of time as a kid and meet ruto and think "she's lying about having not left a bottle letter to help her because she's embarrassed about asking for help or rescue" and then never think about it again, right… right

because like, how could that letter have realistically ended up at the place you found it? what reason would ruto have to deny it considering the circumstances and her explanation for why she doesn't need help? did ganondorf himself put that letter there in order to set you up personally already knowing you'd get the spiritual stone from ruto because my brother just suggested that theory and oh my god that would be gold

[yvmoveon]

.

[softtransbf]

I posted 1,053 times in 2022

207 posts created (20%)

846 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rebeccaselfships

@letsgofoletsgo

@gothamcore

@charlies-gf

I tagged 548 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#otp: confession - 74 posts

#otp: love in bloom - 69 posts

#otp: pretty boys - 55 posts

#otp: my heart - 52 posts

#otp: unforgettable - 52 posts

#otp: don't want to be free - 45 posts

#otp: true desire - 31 posts

#otp: home safe together - 19 posts

#otp: good boys - 17 posts

#otp: love in our hearts - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#but i'll admit it's kinda cute when he comes up and bites my arm when i'm working on new songs and he wants attention -seowoo

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i want to try to collect data on what sources people self-ship from, but i don't think there's any way to reliably get a data set that's worth anything

there's a really cool data set out there, and i can't really get it.

[crush] is laughing at me (affectionately), because i'm genuinely kinda sad and definitely very pouty about this :(

4 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#4

that last post reminded me of an f/o i took off my list quite a while ago...

i miss him, but his source material butchered his character and just overall went to shit in so many ways that i can't engage with anything related to it. it makes me so Mad

i wish i could go back and watch the version of him i loved so much without fuckin losing it :(

4 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#3

"after work" from the 1st prompt list, and "confession" from the 2nd prompt list, w/ whoever you want 😺 - @tedspankoffskiscanonbf

@tedspankoffskiscanonbf <3 tysm!

My Seo-woo tag literally is confession, so I gotta go with him on this one ^_^ (I'll make a separate post for after work)

Word count: 289

Warnings: Assumption of heterosexuality (idk a more concise way to put that)

Now I’ll confess my heart

I can’t hide my feelings anymore

That I like you, that I love you

That you’re my everything

"That was a preview of global superstar Kang Seo-woo's new single, Confession, which is coming out in just three days. Now, we're joined by the man himself for a quick word! Good morning, Seo-woo, how are you feeling, with the release so soon?"

Seo-woo smiled and nodded at the talk show host. "I'm feeling really good. I've worked hard on the song, and I'm really happy with how it turned out. I hope my fans will enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed writing it."

The woman returned his smile. "I'm sure they will. And I think I can speak on behalf of all of them when I ask- what was the writing process like? Was there someone in particular on your mind?"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck as he shook his head. Of course there was. I’m in love with the most incredible guy in the world, and I wrote this song to tell him that. Every love song I ever write from now on will be about him.

"No, no there wasn't. The melody came first, and it just felt so sweet and light, I knew the lyrics had to be that beautiful innocence of a first-love confession. Not about a specific person at all."

"Millions of girls just breathed a sigh of relief, I'm sure. That's all the time we've got, thank you so much for joining us, Seo-woo!"

"Thanks for having me!" A commercial break was called, and he took a deep breath as he walked back to the green room. I have to tell him.

4 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

#2

Drabblecember: After Work

@tedspankoffskiscanonbf here's "after work"!

tag list: @gothamcore @librarian-lover

Pairing: Quint/Garthy O'Brien

Warnings: alcohol

Word Count: 543

Quint trudged into the bar, one hand massaging his temple. He saw Garthy sitting at their normal table, surrounded by friends old and new alike. Even more than usual, it seemed, and they hadn’t noticed him yet, so he went and got a drink. He couldn’t handle that much socializing sober. Not after the day he had.

After so many months in Leviathan, working at the Gold Gardens no less, he didn’t have to tell the bartender what he wanted; the drink was in his hand the moment he placed the coins on the bar.

He took a seat at the bar, threw the drink back, ordered a double, tipping generously. He drank the second one more slowly, savoring the burn and praying the first drink would hit quickly.

He was about halfway through his drink when he felt familiar arms wrap around his waist from behind and very familiar lips against his ear.

“My, my, darling,” Garthy murmured in the way that never failed to send shivers down Quint’s spine, “you didn’t even stop to say hello? You wound me, my love.” 

Quint moved their arms and scooted over a seat, not looking back at them. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just been a Day, and I wanted to be in a better mood before joining you.” They sat down next to him and gently took the drink out of his hands.

“I hate to imply you’d be anything less than honest with me; I think this is more an issue of you lying to yourself. Are you sure you thought sitting here alone with your thoughts would put you in a better mood?”

He turned to face them with a soft sigh. “Sometimes I hate how well you know me, you know that?”

They chuckled and started rubbing small circles on his back. “No, darling, you really don’t. Now, you know my philosophy; this is a place where people come to forget their troubles. Talk to me, love. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, really. Just spent the day trying to balance the books from the casino. The crew that came through last week was great for business, but crews that big always make a nightmare of the records, and I can’t figure out a good long-term solution.”

He tried to swallow the tears he could feel forming. “I can’t solve that problem, and studying magic isn’t going well, and it all just feels like I’m not smart enough for any of this and not strong enough to learn how to fight, so what good am I here?” He sobbed, and Garthy pulled him into a tight hug.

“Oh, darling, why didn’t you tell me? Those are all problems we can solve, but right now, do you want to talk about solutions, or do you want to come with me upstairs, and we’ll get you a proper meal and maybe a massage?”

Now fully crying, he held them tighter and whispered into the crook of their neck, “Let’s go upstairs. Thank you, my love.”

They picked him up, pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and carried him up to their penthouse suite, determined to make every trace of self-doubt vanish by the end of the night. “Anything for you, my greatest treasure.”

4 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

If any of y'all are interested in being on a tag list as i write this month and hopefully more going forward, lmk? 🥺👉👈

6 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[coolfoxykitkat]

“Honey, this is basically a build-a-bitch workshop.”

-The Machining Guy at work when I asked if he could make a fixture with a magnet for me.

[transgender-catboy]

the music that plays when you're on the sky islands in totk. ... oooouuugghhhh

[frankcastled]

thinking about the time i got so sucked into the backrooms lore

[soosoosoup]

treasure planet au, last of the batch (Poppy & Floyd)

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

so turns out my experience isnt normal and i have something severely wrong with me that i completely overlooked.

for the millionth time.

[goldensunset]

when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me

[thebibliosphere]

Me and about four other people will care about this, but it has taken me this long to realize that in season 2 episode 9 of Pennyworth (shut up, it’s enrichment in my enclosure) when Alfred is posing as Tommy’s driver and waxing lyrical about how, when he’s in America, he’s going to have a car just like this one. And the car, is a Ford Lincoln Futura.

A Ford Lincoln Futura.

Aka— the original Batmobile as driven by Adam West.

He’s driving the original Batmobile!!!