#like so so much in a way i cant accurately describe

[tennessoui]

sorry if this is a dumb question but for ur Kofi do these fics stay forever or do they get like refreshed like a story and is removed after a few weeks? sorry idk how this works 😭😅

no worries at all and not a dumb question!!! everything i put up there should be accessible forever while a person is a monthly supporter - any active subscriptions can access the gallery posts and view the descriptions of those posts where the links to the documents are. i have not and do not plan to take them down or rotate them out.

and honestly, like. if you want. become a monthly supporter and then cancel the subscription and you'll have a full month before you lose access to all the posts. and then while you have access, like. bookmark the links on your browser. you'll lose access to the post where the links are, but you won't literally lose access to the link itself if you save it, so do that and then if you ever want to read the fics in the future you can do it

[bucephaly]

Basically. Gender and sexuality and race and a Lot of other things are social and cultural concepts that are not like Facts or intrinsic and honestly I wish more people would realize that these are things we made up and there are no actual rules and everyone's experiences are different

[unnonexistence]

just started reading book 3 in this series and page 1 is taking no prisoners hgdshdslk

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

so i googled my current favourite play that i'm absolutely obsessed with and ended up on the english wikipedia site bc my browser is set to english and. it's so bad. the fucking plot overview leaves out basically everything that happens ever except for the end result. several key figures aren't even mentioned. "this guy dies for freedom" well, yes, but actually no, plus you're implying his sacrifice is actually worth it. that's not true. in some other section a dude is mentioned who claims this play is basically star wars. that someone familiar with the play but not star wars could look at a star wars poster and tell you which characters are narratively similar/equal to characters of the play. i am baffled. i have never, not once in my life, ever seen someone be so wrong. dude must have read an entirely different play. i'm tempted to dig up the english version and read it just to see how fucking wrong he is. he is *so* incredibly wrong. jesus fuck. how could you possibly say that

[libraryspectre]

I'm sorry but I just can't believe in hot Palamedes. He's a wonderful guy, smart and caring, very talented, he has lovely eyes he doesn't get to keep, and those are his assets. If he's sexy it's in a rat kinda way, but like a really really scrawny nerdy rat.

[alligaytorswamp]

OH MY GOD 😭😭💘💞💘💘💞💕💝 THANK YOU ???

how did taiki and his poly all start dating? how do they like to cheer each other up when something bad happens?

aughhghhhh thank u for the asks 😭

god given me the right to talk too much so like. warning i talk too much:

run down on their meetcutes and such (vaguely presented here too):

taiki was dragged by his coworker junpei to hang out with idols under their label, they prolly only talked to andromeda and ishindenshin that day, regardless this is how taiki was simply introduced to kotoya, they didn't even talk

howeverrr kotoya is a pretty boy, the type of idol known for his beauty, and yes ofc taiki was mildly aware of that? he kind of looked at the photos of some idols, but he didn't care all too hard. BUT upon meeting kotoya irl he had that gay moment of 'holy shit he is even prettier in real life what the fuck' and now had a dumb crush

but kotoya is introverted as hell, and an idol! taiki has no clue how to rizz him up. not to mention he doesn't wanna do anything cringe to essentially a colleague, right?? so yeah for the first time in ages taiki just feels stupid because he out of all people doesn't know how to ask a man out

regardless he now tries to hang out around the company building more in hopes they can naturally come across each other, and plot convenience strikes he just knows some ishindenshin members will be recording smth, so he goes to that part of the building

altho again he is unsure how to talk to kotoya, he can't really just walk in to say hello to pretty much stranger- boom. rokuro spawns

he also got some shit to do, and he- unlike taiki - knew kotoya for a good while now. their respective groups are close friends and they all know each other pretty damn well. rokuro himself spends enough time at ishindenshin's dorm and hanging out with kotoya specifically

so as a good friend ofc rokuro goes out of his way to meet up with kotoya, yet this time he comes across an entire taiki. and given that rokuro is very friendly he just immediately nice to taiki, asks him who he is, why is here, etc

taiki introduces himself and vaguely says that he met ishindenshin before and heard that some members were here and wondered if he should say hi... (smooth king). naturally rokuro is immediately like 'omg yea? come with me!'

so rokuro highkey forces a proper personal interaction between kotoya and taiki that at least later allows taiki to confidently interact with kotoya on his own

but plot shall continue- kotoya and rokuro already in their slow burn era. like they just extremely good friends, who are sweet and cuddly, and rokuro will come to hang out with him after a day of training just to listen to kotoya talk about smth complicated (or watch him play games)

taiki got his 'love at first sight' thing going on, where he is very much trying to very casually and slowly rizz up kotoya and kotoya is honest to god very receptive to this (albeit shy asf)

and while this is a thing rokuro and taiki become very good friends too, like they just hit it off, but there is also an odd level of gayness in there with certain flirty comments that are once again received well

cue taiki kind of losing his mind because he can't understand who he has a bigger crush on and how he supposed to deal with this (plus he starts to suspect kotoya and rokuro themselves seem to have close relationships, maybe he is a homewrecker or smth)

rokuro is chilling, he doesn't even worry about a single thing, sure he apparently likes two people but the experience of having a crush is fun for him. + taiki and kotoya are awesome. and on top of that like even if they reject him or simply end up together he would be totally happy ??? (open minded king)

kotoya didn't have much going on he was honestly in survival mode because he is already shy, and there are maybe two people flirting with him, he deadass refused to think about it too hard. god bless his gentle heart okay

(cue them like being progressively more gay in any 2 ppl combos, and when it's 3 of them - because yes they eventually start hang out all three - it's like rokuro leading the convo, complimenting one person, but like involving the other, so it's like he is both rizzing up somebody being a wingman for the other person. crazy stuff really.)

now the rest doesnt have cool details

basically i think atp all of this is entirely too gay, and taiki gotta make a move but he doesn't know with who

so he confesses to rokuro, but he straight up says he also likes kotoya (in a way trying to say 'sorry i dont think my head is in the right space for this relationship with you') . to which rokuro is just like 'oh yeah me too!' LMAO

yeahhhh it's kinda goofy. i think they chat about it and come to a proper conclusion that they both like each other AND like kotoya

then taiki and rokuro very bravely ask kotoya out (by basically going out together and then ending it with a confession where they just say that the two of them together now BUT they also like kotoya and wanna date him as well)

likely kotoya needs like a few days to even process everything but then he agrees and peace and love on planet earth, my rgb poly became real!!

cheering up (thank god this is less words):

kotoya is a physical touch king, so he would just offer his company (hand holding, hugs, etc) + he is good with reassuring words and advice <3

rokuro tends to just ask if there is anything he can do + give gifts/show fun videos/etc

taiki i think is more of a listening ear, but also when possible he can initiate a pretty random date to hopefully keep his bfs' minds off something bad

[grecoromanyaoi]

helloo since we're on the topic: top historical fiction (or adjacent) ? can be any time period I just really love your taste in shows/games/etc and am always on the lookout for history inspired media !

thank you!!! im rly glad im like. inspiring other ppl to engage w things im insane abt hudofajsdfdassfsad. anyways. i will probably expand that list bc i literally forgot every single thing i ever read. also i havent watched that many movies so far

ancient times: i havent really watched a lot of movies/series set in ancient times so far :(

rome HBO (2005-2007) (tv series) - OF COURSE. i personally think its one of the best series ever made. they combine political, miliatry history with the lives of every day people in an incredible way. they never let you once engage with the series through modern lenses. according to my teacher (a historian, archeologist & self described 'romaphile') its incredibly historically accurate, mostly the clothing, set designs, characterization, military practices, etc. except for the things they straight up made up, of course.

i really enjoyed gladiator (2000), i think its a masterpiece.

prince of egypt (1998) i guess?

all the asterix movies of course, all the animated ones and most of the live actions. but i wouldnt really call it historical fiction

ok i havent actually finished watching it for now but sebastiane (1976) - an erotic, x rated, gay interpretation of the martyrdom of st sebastian. its in latin also.

wait i cant believe i forgor about assassin's creed odyssey - so far the only one ive played. its so fun and incredibly immersive visually. especially pour moi who cries into the pillow about how ill never experience the ancient world. also you can b a faggot which is always fun. i have things to say about their portrayal of same-sex sexuality and slavery in classical greece but i get why they did that considering its supposed to like. appeal to a lot of people, and a more "historically accurate" portrayal (for example of pederasty or how common slavery was etc.) would b v difficult for a lot of their target audience. alas.

medieval and early modern era:

the name of the rose (1986) - my medieval history teacher literally showed us bits of this movie to teach us about monasteries and monks fhdosiasdjasd.

the borgias (2011-2013) - incredibly messy, lots of political intrigue, and so so fun to watch. about the history of the borgia family. filled to the brim with drama.

the three musketeers (1993) - my favorite adaptation, also coincidentally the one i grew up on. casting tim curry as richelieu was genius. he slays so hard.

i also like bbc's the musketeers (2014-2016) - a neat little series. very fun and entertaining to watch.

outlaw king (2018) - like i dont think most ppl heard of this movie. its about robert the bruce's fight to reclaim the throne of scotland. starring chris pine

vikings (2013-2020) - its fun. i havent watched the entire series tho. dont expect anything resembling historical accuracy

the northman (2022) - you will see something resembling historical accuracy

mihai viteazul (michael the brave) (1971) - a fun movie. very much romanian propaganda tho.

1670 (2023-) - such a fun series!!! incredible cast, shows respect to the actual history and the lives of historical people. really cute and funny.

caravaggio (1986) - a biopic about caravaggio.

wait i also forgor about pentiment - an intriguing, immersive, and incredibly beautiful video game! it has a lot of 'the name of the rose' vibes, with it being a medieval murder mystery taking place in a monastery. its incredibly touching and made me cry, and in the last few years i very rarely cry. also im 99% sure its an indie game? go support the creators!

vaguely-medieval/early modern fantasy:

mirror mirror (2012) - a retelling of snow white. a very fun movie imo, with incredible costume design. julia roberts plays the evil queen and she SLAYS. armie hammer is unfortunately in that movie.

stardust (2007) - one of my fave movies growing up. more modern-inspired but still.

the green knight (2021) - controversial i know but i actually loved this movie! i liked it both as a standalone movie but moreso as a 21st century adaptation to sir gawain and the green knight.

galavant (2015-2016) - !!!!!!! one of the most series ever! they manage to tackle such difficult concepts and conversations with a hilarious wit. so fun to watch. i listen to a lot of the songs still, and rewatch every once in a while.

disenchantment (2018-2023) - very fun to watch, especially the first season.

i also really liked the novel uprooted by naomi novik. its a polish-inspired fantasy.

modern era:

killers of the flower moon (2023) - of course. a masterpiece

aferim! (2015) - a romanian movie set in 19th century wallachia, about two officers, a father and son, who were sent by a nobleman to retrieve an escaped enslaved romani man. a lot of the people in the comments were calling the movie humorous and funny, maybe im missing smth (as im watching with subtitles n dont understand the original language) but it was a very difficult watch for me??

the handmaiden (2016) - need i say more

black sails (2014-2017) - a prequel to the famous novel 'treasure island'. not an easy series to watch. incredibly good.

the favourite (2018) - need i say more pt 2

the rabbi's cat (le chat du rabbin) (2011) - animated movie set in early 20th century algeria. a rabbi's cat learns to talk overnight.

the nice guys (2016) - a fun murder mystery set in the 1970s

o brother, where art thou (2000) - a retelling of the odyssey set in the southern us in the 1930s

victor/victoria (1982) - set in early 20th century paris. julie andrews pretends to be a man and takes on a job as a drag queen. extremely fun, extremely gay movie.

lady chatterley's lover (2022) - very much porn for moms but it was a nice watch imo

amulet (2020) - set in like. idk. sometime in the 20th century. this is a horror movie, deals a lot with misogyny, sa, and so on. i really like it, personally. a lot of people, mostly weird men, dont tho.

the great (2020-2023) - i have mixed feelings about this show. on the one hand, its really fun to watch. on the other hand, its basically ofmd for girls who have public mental breakdowns whenever someone claims corsets were oppressive. and theyre so weird about russians, jesus christ.

disses:

domina (2021-) - i just couldnt get into it, esp since i tried right after finishing rome hbo. it was kind of silly, and not in a good way. takes itself wayyyy to seriously.

i didnt like spartacus (2010-2013) - the dialogue was almost grotesque and the editing, especially the transitions, straight up killed me

damsel (2024) - holy fuck what a trainwreck of a movie. absolute waste of angela basset and robin wright. the only good thing were the costumes.

lancelot du lac (1974) - i just didnt like it at all. couldnt get into it. i guess it was way too french and artsy fartsy for me. a movie that was trying to say both too little and too much at the same time.

i didnt rly like bram stoker's dracula (1992) - i mean. it was a fine movie. it was definitely not the godfather. the movie itself was meh. the visuals tho? absolutely stunning

[redactahoe]

pretty darlin appreciation listener addition

this is a compellation of everyone finding darlin hot and darlin not getting it this is part 1 with all the relevent listeners and part 2 will include the boys this is inspired by @whorefordarlin btw

this might be long af

the only physical trait i give to trait is a beefy build and short hair tw: alot of simping shenanigans, mention of shitty foster care parents/neglectful parents, i cant spell so be warned

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

angel:(set durring darlins first meeting back)

angel had no idea what to expect from this 'mysterious pack member'. but it definitely wasn't this. i mean give angel some credit with the way the pack described the pack member it made them out to be some sort biker gang delinquent with and eye patch or something! but no the person Infront of the angel was most definitely not what they expected.

they were about 6 inches taller than them and and had a very pretty face with all kinds of pretty piercings on it. they were wearing a patched up leather jacket with a tank top under neath, tattered but tight jeans, and some beat up combat boots. all of this layered on top of they're very broad frame.

"Hi, i'm angel! nice to meet you!" angel greets with a nervous but excited glint in their eyes.

"oh! davids mate right?, nice to meet you too." tanker greeted back and GOOODD!! their voice was so fucking sexy. their voice was deep with a slight rasp to it that made angels face go red and burst into a fit of flustered giggles.

thus began the slightly awkward conversation between angel and tanker before the pack meeting started. with a red faced angel barely being able to keep together and a very concerned tank trying to decipher what all the giggling means

"hey by the way i think i scared your mate...". the pack meeting finally ended. tank ad david were going some final things when tank brought up angels strange behavior's.

david let out an amused huff "pft- i don't think you have to worry about tanker." he had this amused all knowing smile spread across his face recalling the 5 minute rant angel went on about just how hot tanker was.

"i- what does that mean???"

"don't worry about"

babe:(set in a library near asher and babes apartment)

"baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe im bored.." asher was starting to remember why he disliked libraries so much. they were everything he wasn't, quiet.

"asher i told you that you didn't have to come in with me today" asher's fiancé thick accent rang out quietly through the room. today babe had been called in the fill the last few minutes of someone's shift at the library because they had to go home early.

but before asher could reply the bell at the front door rings out as a very familiar head of white hair is spotted

"well hey there tanker, what you doin' here?" asher genuinely forgot that tank actually loved reading but he loved teasing (lovingly) them about it. "i could ask you the same thing, aren't you the one who constantly complains about libraries being boring or something?" tanker sarcastically shot back.

babes head wiped around breaking out of their concentration at the new voice. so this was the elusive 'super hot biker that comes in every Saturday', as their coworkers described them.

and that description was pretty accurate. they had sharp, half lidded eye that had this twinkle to them that made babe feel like they were in a ya novel when the made eye contact with the very attractive wolf. they some how have both a baby face and a nice sharp jawline and the same time. their hair was cut short and was slightly messy that made them some how even hotter. they were dressed in a lazy zip up hoodie and a band t-shirt along with the forbidden grey sweat pants.

they were hypnotic, alluring, fucking enchanting they wer-

"hey you good?" a deep rasping voice snaped them out of their own spiral. making them realize that A. they had been starring at poor confused wolf and B. asher had this all knowing, shit eating grin spread across his stupidly handsome face.

"o-oh right, um h-how can i help you?" shit their all flustered now and probably made tanker uncomfortable as well

"ive just come to return these." they answered noticeably not making eye contact with them, and thankfully. babe didn't now if the could keep together any longer if they had to keep looking at those bewitching eyes of theirs.

tanker heaves the stack of books they were holding onto the counter. "um o-oh y-yeah okay, let me just...." babe trailed off as they focused back to their work.

the transaction went by pretty fast with tank and Asher playfully bantering back and forth all the while babe processed the book returns. eventually all books were processed and tank was off on their way. Asher turns to them with the same shit eating grin on his face and states "aren't i glad you met me before tanker huh?"

sweetheart:(first day at high school, they're childhood besties)

"its okay, im sure this new family and school will really click with you!" sweethearts social worker had always been an optimistic women even though both of them knew the women was partially lying.

rita had been sweethearts social worker since they 6. so she most likely knew the whole song and dance of sh being forgotten and then eventfully returned. but she didn't know was that a new family meant new neglectful parents but it also meant new asshole kids and new neglectful teachers.

"sure..." to be entirly honest with you they weren't exactly excited, with the old bullies it was easy to predict and avoid. but with new bullies there was always a learning period and those always hurt the worst.

but eventually and much to sweethearts dismay they arrived to their final destination, met their new family and unpack their things into their "bedroom'. though you couldnt really call it a bedroom, it was more like mattress and night stand in an unfinished basement but they've had worse.

it took awhile but sleep came and went. they were up and out of the door by 5 am sharp, theyve made it a habit to not stick around and 'be a bother'. they sat down at the bus stop and got emersed into a book, the wait would be long after all.

they were so emersed they didn't notice the warm body that sat next to them. that was until of course that person fell asleep and start to let a soft snore. turning to look at them had sweetheart slightly fluster but also worry.

they had remarkably clear skin for a 15 year old and had short but shaggy hair that fell over and framed their face almost perfectly. but on the other hand they dressed and had the general demeaner of a typical bully. the cool and Grundy punk style they had to them though didn't come of as forced like alot of the others, it looked so natural and so good on them, well good enough to make sweethearts teenage heart flutter.

......okay that may have been a bit of a stretch since the person was asleep, but this was a good opportunity to scope out a possible danger that didn't with sweetheart getting pummeled... hopefully.

a sharp and admittedly cute snort interrupted sh's thoughts as that person woke up. there was a bleary almost adorably clueless look in their eyes as they but two and two together on where they were.

they looked around and made eye contact with sweetheart, then looked down at the book they had. and smiled...... but then quickly looked straight ahead

why did they have to be so. god. damn. gorgeous????

and what makes it worse (read as: better) was that they didnt even know any one knew about this book!!!

"u- um do you like this series?"

why did the say?!?!?! what compelled sweetheart to blurt that out in the most awkward way possibl-

"oh um, yeah its actually my favorite..." there was a slight nervous chuckle at the end of that sentence that made sh's heart sore in ways they never felt before.

the question and reply started an unlikely friendship between the two that no one, not even sweetheart saw coming. all because sh' thought the were pretty and liked the same book

lovely:(lovely was getting repairs done on their guitar when tank walks in)

this was the worst.....

lovely couldn't believe they had to sit here in this ironically quit music store. it was days like these they wish Vincent could go out into sunlight. it would mean at the very least they would have him there to bored along with them. but alas that wasn't the case.

they heard that this store in particular was good at repairs with instruments and had decent prices though. it was a small music shop that was decorated with history music, old expensive instruments lined the walls with a few poster of famous rock a metal idols along with them.

the only other person in the store with them was this older Hispanic man that looked like a much older Gómez Addams

suddenly the man shot up from his seat as soon as the shop bell ringed.

" aye!!! i havent seen in awhile where have you been lobo?!" the older Hispanic man that was working on their guitar asked with excitement towards the person

"ive been busy old man, i cant just hang around the shop all day like i did when i was kid." the deep raspy voiced stranger responded with amusement.

and when they came just a little close..... they just were so pretty???

lovely didnt even know if it was just the lighting or something but they were prettier than Vincent! and Vincent was stage 10 pretty boy but this random person in this small little music shop was prettier!?!? now dont get them wrong they love Vincent very much but for a brief moment they considered snapping a picture and asking Vincent for a polycule with this random but very attractive stranger. all the while the stranger was conversation with the old clerk while he works on lovely's guitar they were able to get a good look at them.

they well built but like in that really hot muscular with a layer of softness over the muscles that made them look both very strong but very huggable, the had soft short hair that lovely would've broken bones to run their had through. in their eyes there was this mysterious almost teasing look to them that had lovely hooked and all types of hot and bothered. everything about them was just so tantalizing.

the stranger or lobo as the store clerk called them had this aura around them that could only be described as playful but mysterious and those scars looked so good. lovely didn't know many people in real live make having scars so sexy-

" how did you fuck up this thing so bad??" the older clerk cries throwing his hands on his head in distress snapped them out of their small simping spiral. when looking at what the old man was talking about they saw a well used and loved bass sitting on the counter, guitar was already finished and set off to the side.

the body of the bass was slightly cracked and the strings looked like they were a tap away from snapping.

"I told you've i've been busy...." lobo trailed off almost ashamed of the state of their bass"

the older man only mumbled something in spanish about bullshit excuses and turned of to call out to lovely, telling them he's done with the repairs and told them the price. they paid and excited the building only catching the beginning of a likely very hefty scolding about the importants of bass care.

they immediately whipped out their phone once out of ear shot and called Vincent.

"vinney you will not believe i just saw someone prettier that you!!!"

okay thats it for now thxs for reading, srry for any spelling mistakes

[goomyloid]

hi sorry if this is a lot BUT! i have really enjoyed your art for a while and for some reason only now thought to actually go thru your blog.. i saw you tag a lot of things as kriselle and i found your post explaining that and. yeah i think i get you

bc like to me im not a fan of them romantically unless it’s specifically focusing on the fucked-upness of snowgrave. in that case it hurts but it’s like. reeeaaally interesting

but they’re also like. they can’t be accurately described as “friends.” they’re so close and so far from one another. they grew up together. they both know things nobody else does. they understand each other better than anyone else. and yet they haven’t talked much in years. noelle questions if kris is even her friend. they’re not quite friends but also, of course they are, how could they ever not be

anyways all this to say umm. kris and noelle make one go insane

hiii!! thank you for enjoying my art firstly 🥺🥺🥺 i have a disease and its called draw kris and noelle as many times as humanly possible. i am indeed insane

when it comes to pairings i think it might just be the gray area between (or outside of) friendship and romance that is unexplainable and comforting but still strange (this is a pattern ive noticed for almost all pairings i like, romantic or not...) like just being able to look at a couple of characters and recognize the unique closeness they have with each other...

that being said i will support romantic kriselle shippers till my dying breath LMAO its just not My Vision (you get me)... i think i ended up saying this on twitter a couple times but whatever those two have going on in the estranged childhood friends department is just infinitely more interesting to me LOL. and it becomes easier to tag things as kriselle even if theyre literally Just Standing In the Same Image Together

(i actually filled out one of my own ship charts for them, and when i posted it i was very nervous about somehow multi-track drifting into simultaneously disappointing everyone in some way (for being an apparent kriselle shipper and/or not actually shipping them romantically) So it makes me happy that people out there understand where im coming from with my interpretations of them...)

Also yes i love the weird fucked up romantic implications of snowgrave a lot lol. its HORRIBLE and im obsessed with it. kris putting a ring on noelle's finger and neither of them are happy about it. hand in unlovable hand and all that. as hellspawnmotel once put it, they get forced into this extremely strange and uncomfortable, almost heteronormative husband-and-wife (again ring imagery) kind of vision Which is so horribly unsettling considering theyre just two queer kids trying to exist (something something kris getting commonly misgendered with he/him and noelle having a very obvious crush on another girl). as a nonbinary lesbian it almost comes off as this really fucked up correctionist way of playing where noelle just becomes a romanceable option, not to kris but to the PLAYER and kris is just forced to go along with it. it SUCKS. and its SO interesting to me i cant stop thinking about it after THREE YEARS.

omfg i did not mean to write so much sirry. this is what happens when you talk to me about kriselle btw. Ty for the ask!!!

[itsalwaysdark]

iza my princess. + picture of her face normal and also her alien face. im not showing her outfits bc i am not proud of them i dont think they look good,

getting her ready for her wedding SHES SO PRETTY!!

[sundriving-glittery-wetcat]

Hello! I came from wattpad and ao3, I really enjoy your Pink and Gold Skies book, I just noticed you also read TSaTS! tell me, how was your experience? For me, TSaTS was a nice experience! Tho I'm too shy to talk with Stygian😭

HIII!!!! I KNOW U!!!!! TY FOR READING PINK AND GOLD SKIES!!

Reading TSaTS was AMAZING for me. I fell in love with the writing style, and the plot was just.. *mwah* zeff's kiss. For anyone who hasnt read The Sun and The Sea by @stygianheart on AO3.. GO READ IT!!!!

Although if I'm honest the 1 part that I really like the most was chapter 5 where we got to learn more about Ryan. (as you can see, i am unwell about him) AndHelmeppo as a dynamic. RYMEPPO YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Chapter 11 and 12 was DEVASTATING!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant remember how many times i cried but it was a lot.........

Anyway! *claps hands together melodramatically*

The internal conflict Kel (stygian!) portrays in Koby is so painfully accurate, and I find each character to be so well written- but even deeper and more alluring!

Koby is.. HOPELESS. But that's fine, we love him. Either way, I was on the edge of my seat at the end of each chapter. Emotions are expertly woven between words, and the pure force of it had me at the first chapter. Unlike some KobyLu fic's, Kel didn't portray Koby as a damsel in distress, an UWU boy (im sorry) or a big StRoNg Chad- they found his actual character, a kindhearted, selfless boy who feels pain and anger and who sheds tears for those who'd been wronged.

I cant even describe how much i love TSaTS.... sjsjsjsjsjsjs

RYAN BRYAN. MY #1 BOY.

I cant stress how MUCH I love him. He has a character that is so compelling and utterly stunning. He's a broken man, and noone can deny that. But he found beauty amidst pain- something im a sucker for.... Ryan feels like a canon character, ISTG!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!

Anyway, TSaTS is better than most NOVELS ive read. Its a work of art thats totally underrated. Like, its better than some arcs in One Piece by a landslide.

call me biased since im a friend of Kel's, but KEL IS MY IDOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont be shy about talking to them, their awesome and love listening to people talk. They have a Discord server (which I am in as PROUD RYAN SIMP) so check that out, maybe!

tyty for the askkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bug-bites]

west side apartment, paper plane

tw: brief non-graphic mentions of ghost going thru war stuff and ghost's backstory in the comics (changed a few details because this is fanfic. duh), slight angst (bc yk,, yearning) but sort of fluff if ghost had a dollar for every moment he spent yearning he would have enough money to retire and live a happy life away from the military, also we're pretending british chinese takeout is good, not proofread :P

pairing: simon "ghost" riley x gn!reader (like always can be read as platonic or romantic)

characters: simon "ghost" riley

a/n: i hate how fucking massive the song link is but yk what its fine. but i am back and in a laufey moment!

simon has lived an interesting life, maybe he wouldn’t use interesting. if he could describe it he would probably use words like terrifying, cruel, or for a lack of better terms, shitty. from the moment he was born it seemed like misery and tragedy followed him around like a stray dog, finding its way into every aspect of his existence. his childhood home was always something he wanted to escape, or rather his father was what he wanted to run away from. there were good moments after he kicked the old bastard out, but the ever present threat of tragedy proved that it wouldn’t last. life had been cruel, dealing him possibly the worst hand possible, the only constant being misfortune, that is until you came along.

a temporary living arrangement. thats all it was. rent was a little too much for one person to afford, so you both signed the lease on a crummy, small, mixed-use apartment right in the middle of manchester. it wasn’t much, takeout dinners from the restaurant below and late rent payments were the norm but even with the busted heating, life in that apartment had never felt so warm.

after long shifts at your respective jobs he would come home, plastic bags of takeout in his hands, a sign for you to set a few blankets on the ground before both of you eat ungodly amounts of shrimp fried rice and orange sesame chicken. he could spend hours listening to you speak, nothing made him feel so at home. maybe it was the fact that the food was good and also inexpensive, or maybe it was because he was too exhausted to do anything else, but he loved those long sleepless nights spent sitting on the floor, talking about everything and nothing. simon cant imagine another time in his life when he was genuinely so happy or another time he laughed so hard water came out his nose.

he especially loved opening fortune cookies with you at the end of every meal. sure, he never believed in those fortunes but the idea was always fun to entertain. the sound of the cookie cracking open to expose the slip of paper, revealing what the future had in store for him usually filled him with a childlike curiosity. or at least got a laugh out of him.

“hah, mine says ‘there will be a happy romance for you shortly’. these things really could not be farther from the truth. bet yours is more accurate” you say, popping half of the broken cookie into your mouth “your father loves you and is always with you. remember that.” he reads out loud with a chuckle “oh. that- hm. yeah i take that back”

but the one thing he loved more than opening those silly fortunes with you or the late night dinners was after you both cleaned up the empty takeout boxes, taking the menus and folding them into paper planes. it became a sort of tradition after you got bored and began to mess around with the glossy paper that listed mouthwatering dishes and house specials. he could never get it right, one wing was always too big or his folds were clumsily made and uneven, making them practically incapable of flight but yours were the complete opposite. each crease made was perfect, every intricate pleat skillfully crafted to allow the small paper aircraft to glide through the air with ease. as you tossed your planes off the balcony of your shared flat, the sight of the plane sailing through the air as the sun set always filled the both of you with a sense of nostalgia. and of course you both picked them up and tossed them out because we dont mess w/ littering over here

simon cant help but look back at those simpler times and miss them. he knows from the start it was intended to be temporary, but he’s been through so much chaos and trauma all he just wants a quiet life where he doesnt have to be ghost. he just wants a nice warm home to come back to. it doesnt have to be big, it doesnt have to be expensive, it just has to feel like home. it just has to feel like you. its been so long since the two of you parted ways but as he stares at the last paper airplane that he kept, he cant help but wonder if you feel that way too. as he lies awake in his bed at the military base he’s stationed in, he spends those nights craving that domesticity he had with you. he recalls every memory, every minute detail that made him love that cramped apartment and maybe how he loved you even more.

[silvery-orchid]

i cant describe how down bad I am for your writing of neuvillette. The unbalanced power dynamic??? THE WAY HE MAKES THE READER LISTEN TO HIM REJECT THE WOMEN? THE TEA!! I love the flour in the reader’s hair, man goes through all 5 stages of grief,, your writing of him is so immaculate ahhh. please spare us just another crumb of your thoughts on yan! neuvillette

Omg my first ask on this blog and its about yan! Neuvillette. Thank you so much 🥺🥺. I can't wait to get more info on him so that i can actually shape up one shots and have them be accurate but,,,many,,plently,,too many thoughts and scenarios are tumbling round like a golf ball in my mind and here are some of them: (some are nsfw)

Imagine that he is indeed khaenri'an. Now imagine that he was your lover before he was forced into the curse. Imagine that somehow (istaroth) freezed you in time until you woke up again so many years later. You end up in fontaine and meet him again and how wonderful that is. But what you dont know is that your lover has changed so much that his tight hugs and new jewelry and new clothes and new clingly behaviour are indicative of not just him missing you - its him wanting to own you. But he tells you of all the horrors he went thought while you were forturnate enough to not see those. (Yes, you being fortunate is his manipulation tactic.) So how can you blame him for being more possessive now when he loves you so? He makes it seem like you have independence but you can't find a job anywhere, you have no documents on you so you cant find a place to live and you dont have enough mora to even try. But he has all of it. And he loves you. So you have to trust him when he says working for him and fulfilling all of his wants will help you.

Regardless of his origin, I think Neuvillette would want his darling to get pregnant as soon as he kidnapped them. It would help with your bonding and he will own his darling in a way nobody else ever has. But you are in cahoots with a nice pharmacist woman who gives you different blends and pills to ensure you never do. Uhm good luck when he finds out. Scurrying to him or from him wont help much.

I also love the thought of Neuvillette getting corrupted himself from how innocent a darling is but sexually,,,morally,,,corrupted swoons...(stealing your possessions so you dont notice kind of thing.)

Neuvillette who orchestrated your trial when you have fate in the justice system and locked you up in a cage just to have you only do things for him.

More of forced marriage with him!! More!! You were sold for a collaboration as collateral and you hate him. You hate him so much. But hes so good in bed that you rile him up on purpose!! It becomes like you enjoy all of his punishments and only when he refuses to punish you once for flirting with another man is when you tear up and realize the physical pleasure he gives u has deeply effected your mental state. (I need to fuck this man can you feel that?) I like to think hed force you to fuck the man you flirted with too but as he watches just to prove how horrible sex is with someone that isnt him,,,can i get a TATTA PIC NEUVILLETTE PLEASE.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, I read The Vampire Lestat all in one go in 8 hours a few hours ago, I spent the whole day at the library just reading it (i brought food w/ me dw) and then I came home, tired ass balls legs hurting from sitting and stimming for that entire time and I immediately went to bed even though I had so many thoughts that I wanted to write about, and now its midnight and I cant sleep and Ive realized that my sleep schedule is just fucked now, so yeah its The Vampire Lestat Thoughts Time now

I wanted to start this post off by talking about the post I made immediately after reading Interview with the Vampire, which was a very short one where I think I basically just called Lestat a very pathetic abuser and I meant that in a very specific nunaced way but I dont think i did a good job conveying that. Anyway, the only person who ever interacted with it was a blog that was called smth like lestats-left-eye and they interacted with it like 8 minutes after I posted it and the reason I remember it so clearly is that I thought that was really menacing. Like, imagine you make a post calling some character a piece of shit and then within minutes you get a notification thats like "characters-no1-fan replied to your post". But they didnt say anything mean, they were basically just like "you need to read the vampire lestat STAT" presumably because they thought it would make me think differently about him but honestly all it did was make me more convinced of his patheticness, less so of his 'abuserness', for lack of a better term, but I think thats mainly because the Thing that would make me call him an abuser was his relationship with Louis and he didnt talk about that very much, and all his other relationships were just like, weird. so. At this point i feel like I should clarify that wben I call him that Im not doing that to moralize or to be judgemental of people who like him, I like him, i just feel like thats an accurate way of describing him and the particular way in which he was manipulative and demanded love

Anyway, the first thing that made him really pathetic in my eyes was the way he 'debunked' Louis' claims at the start of the Interview with a Vampire section because, idek how to describe it, but theres just something so annoying about it. Hes like "I mean, I suppose its true from his point of view, but i actually didnt indescriminately murder random people, I only killed the bad ones, and he also completely neglects to mention our romantic walks and our cute little shakespeare-reenactments for Claudia, and also he says Im stupid and dont know anything but I was actually just keeping the knowledge of our power from him because he seemed so burdened by what little he already had :(" like come on man. And obviously I understand that the power-thing in particular was a retcon because the first book was a standalone, but these books are really well-written and they dont break my immersion so I dont really feel the need to do like, extensive doylist-analysis, yknow what I mean

Like, Ive been reading the ACOTAR series by Sarah J Maas and Ive been critiquing and complaining about those books on a sideblog and authorial intent comes up a lot because theyre clearly trying to say one thing, convey one particular message in an honestly very annoyingly moralizing way, but what the characters actually do and say blatantly contradict it, and for all that the series' fans talk about all the characters being morally gray, theres a very obvious refusal to have them be anything other than paragons of goodness by both the texg and those same fans. And those are not issues I have with the Vampire Chronicles so far, so when i say that I find that Interview with the Vampire section annoying, Im not criticizing the writing, Im saying that Lestat seems like the most frustrating genre of person. I mean, I do have some criticisms of the writing, specifically of the story, but I'll get to that later

For now I wanted to elaborate a little on why I found Lestat so annoying, and its the fact that he spent this whole book talking big game about being evil and revolutionizing the evil-game but then at the end he seemed so unwilling to just let the general public actually think of him as such, even though most humans considered it fiction, like he had to soften the blow at the end. And I do think its him just wanting to soften blow as opposed to him actually wanting to set the record straight because he cares that much about the truth or whatever, because I think if he actually cared about that, he wouldve been a bit more specific instesd of just being like "yeah, Louis said a bunch of things that are wrong about me, but I can forgive him because I suppose they were right from his perspective, even though they arent really" like dude.

It really feels like hes just using this evil-shtick as a crutch and as some kind of self-justification for being unlovable. Like, if hes evil and no one loves him thats fine because evil has no need for love, but if hes evil and someone does love him thats even better because then its a deep romance capable of withstanding anything, yknow what Im saying? But then he talked about the fact that demons in hell and vampires are capable of love and he talks a lot about his own capacity to love, so idk. I definitely feel like he feels a measure of resentment at the fact that Magnus, who was this horrifying stranger that immediately abandoned him, was able to inspire this great love in Lestat but his pretty self wasnt able to do the same with the fledgelings that he turned who were people that he knew and loved in life and/or that he spent decades of his undead existence with

Granted, maybe unlovable isnt the most accurate term to use here bc I dont think that exactly is what matters to him, but I cant think of a better one rn. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe its less about him wanting to convince the general public that he wasnt the pretty pathetic and despicable person Louis described him as, and more about him wanting to convince himself that Louis doesnt actually think of him that way. Or maybe 'cant' is a better word to use here instead of 'doesnt' because the way he says that Louis left out the less dysfunctional parts of their relationship kind of makes me think that Lestat thinks those parts being present makes his feelings and his view of these things unjustified, and I feel like theres a bit of an accusation there that hes purposefully trying to slander him, but the thing is, Louis has way less of an incentive to lie about Lestat than Lestat does to lie about Louis. Like Louis just kinda randomly agreed to do this interview from some guy decades after they last saw each other and then it got published. Even if you said that Louis was somehow masterminding the interview-guy, I just couldnt believe it because I dont see a reason as to why he would do all this and I dont think hes the kind of guy who just does shit for no reason. I also dont think hes nearly as spiteful as Lestat to do this. Also the idea that he would try to slander like this is stupid because who would care about this. Like, humans just see it as fiction and vampires are mad about him giving out the names and locations of vampires but I dont think they actually care about this niche insane relationship drama. And frankly, I feel like Lestat is just way more deluded. Like he calls Louis and Nikolas cynics but Im just like, no, I think those guys are realists and youre prone to delusions of grandeur. but then Im a pretty cynical person myself, so I would say that, wouldnt I

That actually leads really nicely to the second thing that makes me find him really pathetic, and its basically just the entirety of the last three or four chapters. Or, I guess I wouldve called them pathetic if it didnt look like they were at least kind of true ?

Okay so, while I was reading those last few chapters I was basically thinking to myself "okay, Lestat is obviously just making all of this up, I predict that the next book is gonna have a bit where Louis is like 'yeah, I read that autobiography of his and I guess i cant confirm or deny most of it bc he never fucking told me anything, but he just completely made that last bit up, I never went to come find him, and infact, now that hes done this ive decided that Im only communicating with him via passive aggresive autobiographies in which we continously debunk each others claims about our relationship'" because its just. come on, did those chapters not feel like a self-indulgent daydream? Like, "i was looking out the window the day before my big concert when my ex-boyfriend that I still love showed up and I went outside to see him and he was looking really bad in his jeans and sweatshirt but its fine bc i love him, and he hugged and kissed me just like he used to, like a lover <3, and he was sooooooo concerned for my safety and he asked me to just stay with him forever but this time I was the one to reject him, but then I still managed to convince him to go to my concert with me and we kissed before the show started and he was in the audience cheering me on after that, and it was the best concert anyone has ever seen and I felt so awesome standing on that stage, and then once it was over we were attacked by some of my vampiric h8ers but it was all good because my mom appeared out of nowhere to save us and she was wearing modern clothes obviously but otherwise she was exactly the same as when she abandoned me 200 years ago" hey buddy, i thought you were writing an autobiography not fanfiction about how you wish the people you love would stop abandoning you

Louis' behaviour for this whole section is the main thing that ticks me off because I felt that he was just so out-of-character. And obviously the characters that feature prominently in both books are quite different in both of them, but they are still recognizable as themselves which was not the case with Louis imo. And granted, there is a pretty significant gap between me reading the first book and me reading this one so my memory is a little foggy about everything that happened in it, but Louis was just way too outwardly-lovey-dovey for someone who, when talking about their relationship to an unrelated third party 11 years ago, decades after they last saw each other, at best seemed to look back on all that with complicated resentment. Like I just dont buy it at all.

But again, I was reading all that with the assumption that this would (at least partially) turn our to be made-up, and yknow, it still might I guess, hope is the thing that dies last and all, but Im a lot less convinced of that because of the stuff with Akasha

And now its finally time to talk about my criticisms regarding the story and theyre all linked to Akasha and her cringefail husband and honestly Marius too. Im curious if this is a hot take or if this stuff is something that a lot of people dont like. Like, if youre immersed in the book fandom please tell me if this is a thing where you read that I have some criticisms of the story and you immediately knew it was gonna be this, or if youre surprised because the majority of people find the lore very interesting. But when youre telling me, please do so without spoiling me, Ive come this far knowing a very minimal amount about these books and I would very much like to keep it that way and finish all of these books until I start to fully engage with the fandom but I am very curious. Also, I am open to discuss all of this if any of you would like that, just please respect that fact that I dont know anything that happens in later books and that I would like to keep it that way

But anyway. Full disclosure, I already didnt like Marius when Lestat met him in person, I thought he was interesting as a component of Armand's backstory but I really didnt want him to still be alive and I didnt want Lestat to find him and speak to him and then he not only did both of those things, but he was like super buddy-buddy with him in a way that bothered me. And as if all of that wasnt enough, he goes on this lore dump that lasts like 9 chapters that is so fucking boring I dont even have the words to adequately describe just how bored and tired I was reading it. And the things that were revealed in this loredump were just weird and baffling in a distinctly bad way, and I feel like usually when you get stupid worldbuilding in books that are trying to Say Something its to enhance the themes of the plot, but I cant possibly imagine how any of this stuff with Akasha and her cringefail husband and the demons who possessed them does that

Like, the main thing that I find compelling about Anne Rice's vampires is their humanity and the fact that their moral and existential dilemmas are fundamentally the same as the ones that humans face because theyre essentially just more durable humans, and while this origin story doesnt change anything about that on a deeper level, it still really bothers me. Because humans dont have this clean epic symbolic origin story where we all came from two people that can easily be named, we just kinda evolved into existence for no grand, religious, immediately-obvious reason, but we ponder our own collective existence anyway, just like these vampires. Hell, plenty of us even think lf ourselves as monsters of destruction who shouldnt exist for the way we hurt our environment and other creatures. And like, Im not saying that they should be talking about evolution in the 1700s or that I explicitly want it said that vampires evolved alongside humans because that would just be stupid in a new way, but idk. I guess what Im trying to say is that I really didnt need an explanation for how these vampires came into existence because I was engaged enough with their philosophical discussions and fucked up relationship dynamics that it didnt even cross my mind to ask any questions about their collective origin.

And just on a basic level, none of this ancient vampire history-bullshit satisfied me in any way. Also, the whole descriptions of everything in ancient egypt and whatever-that-keltoi-place-was-called just felt kinda off, like they were lacking the authenticity of all the other descriptions, and its not because we didnt spend a whole novel exploring those places because we only got a very brief snipped of Armand's backstory and that part wasnt lacking at all. I was initially ready to chalk this up to a classic combination of orientalism and racism, but honestly, given that the parts about the super-pale blonde people werent that much better in this regard, I think its mostly a case of us just not knowing a lot about these ancient peoples. Like, I dont know a lot about 1700s France or 1800s America but when I read about those places in these books I do get the impression that Anne Rice knows a lot about those places or that she did a lot of a research on them, whereas with ancient egypt and the keltoi-place Im just kinda like "well, this is obviously just a bunch of madeup bullshit innit". And it really frustrates me that I cant really tell if its meant to be made-up bullshit in-universe or if its meant to be true, but I guess Im gonna have to get used to that feeling if I wanna keep having a fun time reading The Unreliable Narrator Chronicles books

Regardless of the actual bullshit-status of Marius' stories though, I was quite surprised and very disappointed that Lestat seemed to just believe it with no issues. Like, 1984!Lestat didnt add any commentary to Marius claims, he just repeated them verbatim bc why not, and 1700s!Lestat didnt have any questions or doubts that I can remember. And like, even if it is true, why was he just okay with that being the truth, I feel like he should at the very least be a little angry at the revelation that theres these oldass vampires who have to stay alive or else all the other vampires will die. Again, to kindof tie this back to my previous point, humans arent like that, we dont have some kind of anker-point that needs to stick around or else we'll all die, so this doesnt feel like its adding anything to the existentialist themes of the series. Its also logistically kinda stupid because we're told all of vampire kind is tied to both of them but like, how does that work? What if you only killed one of them) Are all the female vampires tied to Akasha and all the male ones to her cringefail husband, or are all the vampires that Akasha bit connected to her and then all the vampires that were bit by her vampires are connected to her through their makers as well and so on and so on? Iirc we're told that if you killed one of them, you would kill the other or they would just kill themself or something so it wouldnt really matter, but like, if you could just kill one of them without the other one ending up dead, what would happen?

And like, theres things about these vampires that dont really make any sense, like the fact that their fingernails look like glass or even bigger things like the fact that drinking dead blood is very harmful but drinking blood from other undead people has a healing effect, but those things dont put a huge damper on the series' themes so far so I dont care about them

But anyway, the thing that bothers me the most about all this is that Lestat didnt see or acknowledge the obvious similarities between what Marius was telling him and what Armand's coven used to believe. Like, what's the difference, really, between "vampires were created by the devil and are servants of the devil (aka demons)" and "vampirism was created by a demon and then given to two humans who them created other vampires"? I guess its the fact that Marius doesnt let his belief prevent him from enjoying life, but then it doesnt really feel like Lestat needed to talk to this guy, or like hes actually as open-minded as Marius said he was. Like, Marius basically told him "unlike most people, youre genuinely open-minded because youre listening to what I have to say about how to gain meaning in life" and Lestat, who basically already believed the same things as Marius when it came to that before they ever even met, said "yes i totally agree"

On a similar note, how fucking convinient that Lestat had this weird improbable idea about Osiris being a vampire god and then it basically turned out to be true. Like not literally, but the two people whose story directly inspired Osiris and Isis were both vampires and theyre like, the first vampires. what are the odds of that

Also Im pretty sure Marius said something along the lines "most people dont like what I tell them about the origin of vampires because they want a clean creation myth and thats not what happened" before he started talking about it, but then it was just a clean creation myth ? Like, in a previous paragraph I said that humans dont have an origin where everyone is descendet from two people, and as I was writing that I noticed that the story about Anasha and her cringeful husband is remarkably similar to that of Adam and Eve. or maybe not remarkably similar, but similar enough that I feel like Im not reaching when I say that

And of course this is a story with characters that are unreliable narrators on purpose so all of this might be 100% intentional and might pay off somehow at some point, but Im not really gonna know until I read the next one I guess and Im gonna have a hard time motivating myself to do that when the ending of this one was so bad (to me!!).

Idk, basically what Im hoping for right now is that this series will comtinue to deconstruct and retcon itself, both because that keeps me on my toes in a way thats fun (especially because Im going in completely blind) and because godddddd I really dont want to deal with any of the stuff involving Anasha, i think its all so stupid. I really hope that in the next book it turns out that atleast the stuff about all vampires' lives being tied to hers turns out not to be true and thats shes just gonna be a strong old vampire whos special because of her super strong psychic powers and because her blood makes other vampires strong (which is another concept I really dont jive with, the stuff with older vampires being strong and making strong vampires, but I dont really have much to say about it beyond that, so I'll just leave it at this). But honestly, Im really just hoping that in order to not disappoint myself too mucj, in my truest heart of hearts Im actually hoping that Lestat just decided to dip his toes into fiction writing 97% into his autobiography and then that Queen of Darkness is gonna be an in-uinverse fiction book written by Lestat de Lioncourt

But again, I probably wont feel like finding out for a little while, and as I think about it Im noticing that its mostly because Im not looking forward to having the same borderline-spiritual experience that I had with The Vampire Lestat, where I entered this monk-like state of mind and then walked through the city to the busstation feeling like I wasnt occupying the same reality as everyone else around me, with this book that I have a suspicion that I will not like it. And before you ask, yes, I know that I would have the same experience because it had basically nothing to do with the plot or themes of The Vampire Lestat, its just that my legs were hurting because I had been sitting on a wood chair with no pillow and continuously rocking back and forth because thats how I stim when Im sitting, and also my brain felt fried from how I forced myself to focus and read this book whose language is pretty challenging for a non-native speaker for 8 hours straight

Anyway, this ended up being way longer than anticipated but Im glad. Believe it or not, even though most of this post was just me complaining about one thing or another, I did like this book and I like that it made me think all this and that it made me feel passionate enough to write it all down, even though I do genuinely dislike the ending and am not really looking forward to reading the next one. But I definitely will do it at some point, so dont take this as a sign to tell me what happens in it, I maintain that I do not want to be spoiled. If one of my hopes ends up coming true and you want to encourage me to read it that way for some reason, please only do so in the vagues possible terms. like literally just tell me "ayyyyyy youre right 👍" without eleborating. And if you want to be evil, you can tell me that even though my predictions arent true and make my disappointment even more crushing that way ^^

Alright, thats it, I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I did end up managing to go to bed an hour after I originally started writing this, and then I ended up waking up again at like 4am and wrote some more and then I took a nap and wrote some more and then I took another nap, and it just kinda kept going like this and now its 3.30 pm so. you better appreciate that even if you think my takes are bad

[ddlcbrainrot]

i'd love to hear ur thoughts on the girls' voices. as far as i know their tones have been described in game (e.g sayori: gentle, natsuki: bossy) but as for the actual pitch i'm curious what u think

Sorry for taking so long to answer im trying to find a way to accurately describe my voice headcanons with actual words lol

Monika has a canon voice which i think suits her pretty well, personally i imagined it a tiny bit deeper and not as high pitched but it still is a pretty accurate voice. (Speaking of voices, idk if anyone remembers that one time i said that I headcanon Monoka as French, but just want to mention that when she gets angry her accent peaks through)

Sayori's voice is very sweet. More on the high pitch scale but not by much. This gets tricky bc im not really sure how to describe it accurately, in my mind her voice is like a summer picnic but thats not really a sound haha

Yuri has the deepest voice out of the girls for sure. Very quiet, almost whispery at times, but very soothing. The kind of voice that you would want to read you a bedtime story so you fall asleep faster

Natsuki is the highest pitch, but not like the level of little kid voice high pitch if that makes sense. A little whiny, and sometimes brash. I actually think it would be the type of voice that when you first hear you would find kind of annoying, but later on it becomes a very distinct "Natsuki thing" that you cant help but love

Not really sure if i did a good job portraying what my ideas for the girl's voices are, but it was really cool to write this down. Thanks for the ask!!

[grubus]

i've been following syonr for quite some time now (read: caught up and religiously check updates on mondays) and i actually don't remember if i ever left a comment or just repeated the words in my head enough times i forgot to say them. which is a shame, because you deserve many many warm words for the world you created.

the way you pace the story is SOO good. every arc has delicious hurt/comfort, just enough tension to make you sit on the edge of your seat and the characters???? can we just talk about how your characterization is THE characterization in this fandom? every single character is fleshed out and has a role, they! are! written! with! LOVE! and i love them with all my heart.

i think you were the one who made mu qingfang my comfort character. i really liked him, but you just planted him straight into my soul. he's my pookie now. the best man. should be in every fic for real. you can guess how much i loved when sy lived with him and i adore every scene with him. just thinking about it fill me with warmth. also i generally headcanon mqf as aroace, but here??? yes, he and wqw are a perfect match. no one does it like them ❣️

i have this weird thing where i can't fully imagine what i'm reading and it's like i don't see stuff in my head but more like i sense it? feel it? sometimes i read a fic and it's beautifully written, but i feel uncomfortable just because it feels tight and grimy even if the story itself is light.

but syonr feels spacious, like i can breath fully and what i imagine matches with what is actually happening in the scene. i might be anxious out of my mind but i still enjoy every bit of it. the places you describe fit perfectly into the story. that is to say, my favourite/comfort scenes are bright and sunny :D

i'm not gonna lie i enjoy sy whump. this guy can be in so many Situations and i'm here for it.

and i ADORE bingyuan. they are so sweet and cute and SAFE for each other. it's really interesting how their opinion on sqq changed bc they have each other. sy needing security and validation and binghe's cold disdain.

there actually should be like 10 hours video essay on every syonr character ii i- cant they are wonderful.

nyy my beloved treasured girl. you asked "who's going to make her shine?" and didn't wait for an answer. and shine she does!!!!!!! 🌟

wqw is a charming man, if he was an anime character i imagine him having a huuuuuge fanbase. he's just silly and hot like that.

off the top of my head lady jia's arc was the first one that made me go OH MY FUCKINGGGG GODDDD I'M SCARED AND IT'S ALSO SO COOL AND EXPLAINS SO MUCH AND AND AUGGGHJJHGGHJHJH!!! i just remember this anxiety so well it was great

the demon invasion is one of the arcs i've reread a few times. it's just... perfect. one might even say... you COOKED! i love it.

anyway. thank you for sharing with us your amazing story. it doesn't matter how much time you take to write an update or if you decide you don't wan't to write it anymore, because it already exists in our hearts. ...sometimes i want fics to never ever end at all, even if they are simply left unfinished.

and thank you for brightening my days : ) every new chapter make me squeak and do a happy little dance.

i wish you well 🌼💓

anon. I am crying a lil bit, thank you.

I almost didn't reply to this simply because I wanted to keep it safe in my inbox. I've since taken a screenshot onto my phone and also onto my pc. I've. Saved this comment in a few different places.

I just

;A;

ok ok imma. imma pull myself together and give every word the attention it deserves. *sniffles* I'm not the best at replying to comments in general, because I don't know how to accurately relay how much they mean to me. but. let's do this.

I'm so, so happy to hear all this.

syonr is definitely a love project at this point, for myself and aimed at svsss and also just storytelling in general. As someone who used to only write oneshots or shortfics, it's so fun to really, truly linger and dwell in this story as I explore it. It's freeing in a way that writing hasn't been for me in many years. And I'm so, so happy you think so too. Describing it as "spacious" is a compliment I didn't know I needed, and I love it.

MQF has been fun to explore, because he's a soft but firm character. The one in charge of keeping his sect siblings in some kind of good health- which is of course very difficult because cultivators are insane and they become more nuts the more powerful they are- and then I have had a fun time having him just. Being around SY as SY struggled with basically everything. I've also been delighted to figure out how to write WQW, as he barely says anything in canon, and I'm so happy you also agree he's a hottie. RIP to SY, but I will highfive MQF for getting the hottest man in his generation as his boyfriend. It is very funny to me that they're probably the healthiest relationship in syonr of all time, even as they keep giving SY jumpscares of the gay kind.

I also enjoy SY whump. This, uh, this might be obvious, considering what he has gone through so far. *looks at him* I planned the demon invasion for so long. Fucking up his hands was The Plan all along. Fucking up his self-esteem and confidence was also it. WHUMP!!!

But of course, angst and whump can only truly hit if you line it with fluff. BingYuan is fun to explore in this setting. I like having them be same age and all that comes with it. So much can change in a story if you just swap some things around! They're soft and gooey and idiots <3

When I first decided to let NYY play a bigger part in the story, I was nervous. Canon barely gives her anything, fanon goes in two very different directions with her and neither felt right. She's spoiled and sheltered, but always well-meaning, and I wanted very much to explore writing her in all her oblivious glory while also letting her be Pure Distilled Teenage Girl trying to figure herself out. I'm always, always so happy when people tell me they love her in syonr. It's very rewarding. Not letting her be part of the story was just not possible, either! I'm just glad people appreciate her so much.

Lady Jia... hehehehe :D she always seems to strike a nerve, as intended. And it was so much fun reading the comments for that arc, everyone trying to figure out wtf was happening! Very proud of it to this day.

Part of the thing I love writing in syonr is, indeed, relationships. I mean the entire fic is kind of a love letter to it, both bad and good. It's part of why there's different povs. SQQ's pov and SY's pov are both extremely unreliable when it comes to others, as are anyone else's. I don't think there's a single character in svsss that I dislike, which is also why it's so fun to figure out how other characters think about each other. YQY and SQQ has completely different views of SY, and we all know Binghe's pov is 99% Loving On SY.

I just. You truly made my day today, thank you so much. syonr is one of those stories I'm having fun exploring, a story I look forward to finishing but I'm in no hurry to do so. And also, I suspect, a story I will struggle to not write oneshots for once it's over. (or even before that. I do have plans for a MQF/WQW fic set in it...)

Thank you again, anon. I adore you <3