#like the terms are useful for sure! but they arent rigid and people need to chill out abt them i think

[bucephaly]

Basically. Gender and sexuality and race and a Lot of other things are social and cultural concepts that are not like Facts or intrinsic and honestly I wish more people would realize that these are things we made up and there are no actual rules and everyone's experiences are different

[ohtobearandomftblog]

the stars never forget

well, they are able to forget in the short-term, but everything comes back eventually. be it memory magic (mest was able to affect loke), time (the spirits never mentioned the eclipse that sent the dragon slayers forward in time), or excessive trauma (... probably also the eclipse gate, actually)

spirits remember the beginning of time, the end of time, and everything within and outside that rigid format.

aquarius is able to see the markings of the very first heartfilia in lucy. she looks at her and, sometimes, forgets when she is

sagittarius remembers every animal to exist on earthland. hes not sure any currently alive even make the top 100 of his favorites

ultear and dimaria arent even close to the only mages who use time-based magic. their usage of it is fairly tame, compared to those of years long passed and years never to be seen. no matter how many times someone messes with the timeline, the spirits remember

taurus remembers the faces of everyone he has ever protected. if they had one, that is. hes not sure he likes the running tally he has, of how many features and names can be attributed to those long since dead

capricorn hates nothing more than getting information wrong because of the butterfly effect. how was he meant to keep the pasts separate when they were so similar? it should not hurt so much that he doesnt even know who were 'truly' his masters

do you know how much it hurts, to be unwillingly thrown back in time something as small as a week, and see people that do not recognize you? to be thrown further and further back, months to years to decades, and have the people you hold close not know you? not even be born yet? possibly never to be, if you put one single toe out of line

gemi and mini remember a time when the agria sisters were together the whole time, never separated, never criminals, never taken advantage of. they feel more sadness than hate that the sisters were split, that they ended up with sorano, that sorano turned to the oración seis

leo twitches and never takes his eyes off of sorano, whenever hes summoned in her presence. he remembers, more so than anyone else, of a time when aries was the cause of karen's death. of when leo was the one taken by angel. of when leo was further abused and tortured by those who shouldve protected him as he does them. and he cant do anything about it. not now, when it was aries taken by angel, when he wasnt abused again, when he cant talk about it. she wasnt terrible to him in this time, so who was he to blame her for another's actions?

he says his wariness is because of what she did to aries and scorpio and gemi and mini. lucy doesnt fully believe him. he cant say anything, though, because what if this changes the timeline again? they already messed up, with the existence of 'loke' instead of 'kirase'. what if another point against angel means lucy actively antagonizes her? they need her still, yes they do, they need sorano for future fights, so he cant say a damn thing

[phyrgon]

ableist slurs in therapy settings

(in this i describe how the word choice of therapists can lead to those that desperately need help feeling shunned in the very place they should be getting it, very much ok to reblog) I find it interesting how many mental health experts think that they can use the term cr*zy so loosely there’s 3 ways to use it, extremely (seems north americas primarily, and more recent), overly excited/passionate (recent), and it’s historical use...the first two are bad to use cause there are better terms that aren't rooted in oppression that mean the same thing and the fact that its historical use is used today to demean people doesn't help...but usually people dont know the history so it’s bad but understandable the historical use  (warning for using the ableist slur, even if stating how bad, and reference to asylumns), a basic is that it was used as diseased/sickly and quickly went for people with mental illnesses (ussually deemed more severe like bpd, borderline, bipolar, schizophrenia) and closely related to the term ins**e (which again, was used to other and stigmatize those with severe mental illnesses) and it has evolved to a multimeaning “colloquial” (aka the fact that here it in casual conversations and tv shows dont deem it as a slur even though it is) used in a negative manner meaning ridiculous/unhinged and tieing in to the normalization of ableism (now to talk about how that specific is how used in therapy) I myself am this and have been called it since i can remember one of the 2 therapists at my dbt group kept using the term cr*zy to describe why wouldnt do something cause might look like that, i explained to him after the first time why bad, he claimed it was a self describer so ok. I stated even if someone that can reclaim it, you shouldnt in a group therapy setting, and then asked if he ever even got called it because of mentall illness, he admitted no, then kept doing it and i slowly felt ostracized from group

prior therapist when i casually stated that when people use it in historical way i try to get them one on one and explain why wrong, her response “you think in too black and white terms, like imagine if someone was shouting racist things, you might want to call that out, but what happens if they’re trying to recover from alcoholism” knowing full well that alcohol isnt racism juice, it just makes you feel more free to do and say stuff already wanted, if racist while drunk, you are a racist

new therapist, related to something with mom, stating i could be safer doing a certain thing cause she’ll either get exhausted or start yelling while you seem calm and then everyone will say shes cr*zy i stated how there’s much better words like stalkerish, evil, overly agressive or unruly. and how i’ve been called that slur constantly by my mom and explained historical usage her response “well I know it’s historical use, i was just using it’s colloquial use, and i was using it against your mom  so it’s ok” using a slur against a bad person doesnt make it right, and the fact that you know it’s history just makes it worse, i stated that she should probably try in general to reduce it because there might be those in therapy like me, but arent comfortable speaking up, she stated it was rare (meaning people like those with schizophrenia who are routinely called the slur, being rare doesnt mean not important to care about) this all leads people with severe mental illnesses to slowly but surely feel unwelcome in therapy, and because of that they are less likely to open up about things it doesnt help that in united states cause of capitalism, people that are well trained are more likely to help rich people over the poor and forgotten and tend to go more as a hobby then actual issues (theyre more likely to talk about an unruly worker...lower income has been shown to have much higher rate of mental illness) and for psychiatrists they have the lowest acceptance of insurance or sliding scale compared to any other doctors. or after being therapist/psychiatrist for a while teaching at a high end college (one of my therapists) so the people that are more needy(severe mental problems, financially at risk) where if dont get help are more likely to end up homeless then the rich people in therapy are given to low quality therapists, rigid times where if overworked cant come, and told ableist slurs making them feel unwelcome and all in all, get much less help then they need

[ohnohetaliasues]

Central Italy/Italia Centrale or Centro Italia

(First of all i apologize for my grammatical errors, i corrected some of them but i’m not sure they are all the errors that i made) Country Name: Central Italy/Italia Centrale

Founded: Around 264 B.C., when Romans founded Firmum (today Fermo) in Piceno (today Marche), a colony which was used to control Asculum, protagonist of a revolt against Romans, and avoid other revolts

Age: 2281

Population: 12.067.524 (2016)

Location: South Europe 

Size of Land: 58 052 km²

Capital City: -Florence (1864-1870), Rome (1870-today, capital and largest city)

Largest City: Rome

Government: Democratic Republic

Political Leader: Sergio Mattarella (republic president) and Paolo Gentiloni (prime minister)

Official Language(s): -Italian

The italian we know nowdays is a canonization of the literaly tuscan dialect, in particular florentine dialect, because it was the most used language and close to latin. Before Risorgimento didn’t exist an “italian” as a spoken language because every preunitary country used their dialects or the languages of their invader (for example in Piedmont the official language was french), only in literaly works was used the “italian”. After Unity of Italy one of the most problematic situation was , in fact, the language: everyone talked with a different language and almost everybody were illiterates. So in 1859 Gabrio Casati emanated a law which introduced the free and obligatory elementary education. When Italy was unified this law was widened across the italic peninsula.

Other Languages: There aren’t other languages, but there are languages that were spoken in the past (and Lucia spoken/learned there languages) -French

French was a language fashionable in ‘700 because was the spoken language of enlighteners. In a nutshell, speak french meant be intellectual and elegant. Many italian noblemen knew how to write and speak in french in this period. Plus french was the second language taught in the italian schools, only recently it’s going to be completely replaced by english. -Latin Latin, as everybody know, was the official language of Romans. It derived from an ancient popolation named “Latini” who culture and language was absorbed by Romans. Both barbarian invasions and the old language of italic popolation latin was contaminated after the fall of West Roman Empire and so born the “volgari” and medieval latin. The “volgari” were ancestors of romance languages which derived from classical latin but were very different from its. Only in ‘300, during Humanism, it was decided to revived the real latin thanks to filologists. Latin over time became the literaly language of works, even from '400/'500 onwards began to be replaced by florentine. Today latin is used to translate from italian to latin, in Italy.

National Animal: Appennine Gray Wolf  This type of wolf is a subspecies of European Gray Wolf who live in the italian Appennines mountanious zones and in Eastern Alps. It isn’t consider as a sudspecies of Europe Gray Wolf, but there are some differences like, for example, their cranial morphology (i’ll add other informations)

National Flower:  -Red Lily (ancient national flower) Red Lily or “Florence Lily” (“Giglio di Firenze”) or “Giglio Rosso” in italian was (and is) the symbol and national flower of Florence (“Firenze” in italian). In reality the Florence Lily is more similiar to an iris mixed with a lily, in fact remind a flower which born around the city, the Germanic iris (“Iris Germanica”). We don’t know much about the origin of this symbol, but it’s thought it was born from the fact that the Florence Lilies were florid in Florence; another theory speaks of its birth during the foundation of Florence by the Romans in 59 B.C., which name in latin was Florentia because the city was created in spring during festivities in honor of the goddess Flora. Plus, as i said before, around the city grew many Iris. At the beginnig, in the Coat of Arms, the lily was white in a red background, but when the Ghibellines were expelled in 1251, the Guelfs inverted the colors: red in a white background. -Corbezzolo Italy doesn’t have a real national flower and, because of this, there are many theories about Italy’s national flower. The most accredited flower is “Corbezzolo” (or “Arbutus”) because its colors remind Italy’s flag: green the leaves, white the flowers and red the fruits.

Human Name: Lucia Costantina Vargas 

Name Meaning: Lucia: this is a name of latin origin from the word “lux” (“light”) and means “bright” or “shining”. Probably was assigned, in ancient Rome, to babies who born at dawn or on bright days like Lucio. In the christian world is the name of the saints Lucia Filippi (Rome) and Lucia (Siracusa). The others are the beate Lucia Bartolini Rucellai (Florence, protectress of Rucellai’s family), Lucia da Caltagirone (Salerno) and Lucia da Settefonte (near Bologna).  -Costantina: this is a female variant of “Constantino”. At first was a latin cognomen, a “nickname” indicating a particular characteristic of a person, subsequently this name assumed a meaning (like every latin name) from the verb “consto” or the participle “costans”, that means, “stand still”, “stay firm”,“don’t waver”,“the one who has firmness.” It was also the name of the Roman Emperor Constantino who, as legend has wanted, has been baptized at the point of death and he assumed the nickname of “Christian-Roman emperor” because of his great tolerance towards the Christian people. Both names are from latin origins and they are part of the christian world, because Lucia is very attached to her Romans origins (for example as a traditional dance she has Saltarello, a typical Romans dance, and she talk with an accent very similiar to latin) and she’s a christian because of her past with Papal States. Costantino was a Roman and christian emperor, so this name represents these two worlds where she is born and grow up

Nicknames: Lu’, Luci’, Terza Italia (Third Italy)

Physical Age: 21

🎂: 17th March

⭐ Sign: Pisces

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Heterosexual (Italy doesn’t still accept homosexual marriage)

Personality: Lucia is a grumpy woman, irascible, superb, proud, messy and cowardly. She considers her arts and knowledge superior to any other nation, and she is also considers herself the author of the literature of other nation such as England. Most of the time, she’s serious and clumsy to her similiars, especially with those who harass or annoy her like France, Austria and Prussia, yet she’s also a friendly, sunny, and sympathetic person thanks to the great sensibility she’s equipped with. She get angry very easily, it’s enough really little things to blow her nerves and unleash her bad words repertoire, but she doesn’t say blasphemies because of a rigid Christian education after the fall of the Roman Empire (even her faith has a little faded, she doesn’t abandoned its because she doesn’t judge wrong religion). As a child she was very capricious and malleable, because of this she learned any subject or rule. When she grow up and learning on her own, her malleability has disappeared into rigidity, and now the Italian appears to be a marble statue physically and in some psychological traits: firmness. Though she’s a Vargas, she has this peculiarity which turns out if in trouble or needs it, she’s capable of great solidity even in the toughest moments, sometimes it has pushed her to take on the classic iron fist despite there have been very few events that have spurred her to that point (mostly problems in the borders and only in rare moments, in her past). In contrast she’s fragile, conditioned by her own feelings, preventing her from doing as she should, and forcing her, because of her pride, to build a wall of appearances around her. She has borrowed from the Roman Empire one of the great characteristics of the Romans: the patientia. Unlike the Italian, this term doesn’t mean “patience” but “endurance”, being able to undergo, undergo and undergo again, suffer, endure the hundred blades in the chest and get back up, so Lucia. Little Attention: patientia is not self-control. The Italian doesn’t know how to control herself. It’s about resisting, transforming wounds into weapons, not controlling them. She is, therefore, dreadful, there is no surrender without fighting or even there is no surrender in certain cases (especially during the italian unification). She has been raised with these values. However, unfortunately, this doesn’t imply good military prowess, the wars, if not all, most of them she lost and lose them. Only with allies or in particular cases she won, in others she was defeated, and there is also a lack of interest on the part of the girl who prefers one of her precious books to a weapon in her hands. She admires her grandfather so much, she keeps his memoires in the language (she uses florentine accent, the Italian standard, the closest to latin) in ideas (all things that he has taught her like virtue, for example) in ways of doing and in traditions (the saltarello was a typical Roman dance). Her arrogant attitude derived from her past events besides the rich culture of her country, a great boon, she considers herself superior to the others nations for the huge cultural heritage formed by the gratest italian artists, architets and literary writers. Despite the long years of scientific, classical and literary studies she hasn’t lost her christian faith: Lucia believe in God, attends the church and follows some important tradition, but she never (and can’t) say that God exist or no (this is because in Central Italy there are regions which people arent so christian, like Tuscany, but instead there are also regions where people are very christian, like Marche). She is, for christian influence, slightly homophobic: thinks that homosexuals can get married because is a form of love and they can make marriages like normal people, but this is an unnatural, irregular, love form.

History: Ｃｅｎｔｒａｌ Ｉｔａｌｙ Lucia’s birth was around 264 B.C. when Romans founded Fermo, a colony in the Piceno’s region (today Marche) after a revolt leaded by Asculum (Ascoli today). This colony was used by Romans for control Asculum and avoid other revolts. Before the Piceno’s region, Romans conquered Umbrians in 295 B.C., Etruscans in 396 B.C. after the siege of Veio, Sabines in 449 B.C. (even the final conquest was in 290 B.C.) and Latins, Volsci, Equi, Falisci (all Latium region) were finally subjugated immediately afterwards Romans conquest of Veio and its destruction because this city was the center of Latium civilization. Before, Romans had to fought many wars against Latium popolation for a century. According to Livio, an Augustan latin writer, Veio was won and destroyed by Furio Camillo, a military genius who Livio identified as a predecessor of Ottaviano. Camillo and his soldiers dug a tunnel under Veio’s wall taking by surprise the inhabitants. Umbrians The most ancient popolation established in the italic peninsula, according to traditions, were Umbrians. Their name derived from ancient greek Ὄμβροι from the word όμβρος that mean “thunderstorm”. Probably greeks assigned this name to them because they resisted to the rains of a terrible flooding. We don’t know much about their origins, probably Etruscans subjugated some Umbrians cities. They were, according to traditions, the founders of Sabines who were Sannis, Lucani, Breuzi and Picens (not certain) ancestors. Romans never really won this popolation, they were slowly absorbed by them. Picens Picens were a popolation who lived in the Piceno, today called Marche. The name “Piceni” derived from the latin word “Picantes”(Πίκεντες “Pikentes” in ancient greek) that mean “Those of the woodpecker (picus in latin)”. Their origins are very ambiguous, more legendary than real, like Rome origins. According to the legend told by Strabone, Plinio il Vecchio (Old Plinio) and Festo, Picens were Sabines who, during the ver sacrum, migrated from Sabina to Piceno leaded by a Green Woodpecker, their totem animal. The “Ver sacrum” was a vote that many ancient italic populations used to do and consisted of offer to gods (this wasn’t a sacrifice but a sort of blessing) children born during famines or a year of war between the 1th March and 30th April. When they grew up and became adults, at the beginning of spring they were accompanied at the borders of their territory and started looking for new lands where they settled and created new temples of their gods. About their Sabines origins many historians disagree with this theory because of some archaelogical finds. They think Picens derived from a big ethnic group of umbrian-sabels (or oscan-umbrians) who arrived into this region and created little different settlements. They had never been able to made one and strong aggregation. The Picenum was inhabitated by Picenti (North Picenum, called Ager Picenus), Petruzi (South Picenum, called Ager Praetutianus) and little groups of Liburni. During the phase “Piceno VI” (IV-III centuries B.C.) greeks from Magna Greece (Syracuse) founded a colony called Ancona and Senones Gauls invaded the Northen region of Picenum after called by Romans Ager Gallicus or Ager gallicus picenus. Sabines Sabines, as I said before, were the result of Umbrians migration with Sannis and Sabels. Their name probably derived from the ancient greek word σέβομαι (sèbomai) that mean “adore” because of their big faith on gods. With Umbrians, Sabines were one of the most ancient italic popolation, we have informations about their settlements from 3000 B.C., but the origins are unknown. Probably, because of similiarities with Umbrians, they derived from a magration of this popolation during Ver Sacrum. Sabines where divided in two parts: Sabines of Tiber (or Sabina Tiberina) and Sabines of Rieti, Norcai and Amiternum (or Mountainous Sabina). The first lived next the river Tiber, near Romans, the part of Sabina richer and more evolved (famous for values like justice and honesty), the seconds were the poorest part where inhabitans based their life on pastoralism. Sabines of Tiber and Romans shared many things like kings (Numa Pompilio was a sabine) and, according to a legend, the first contact between Romans and Sabines was during the Rape of the Sabine Women event, when Romulus, for make alliances, ask others popolation to give him their women for procreate and populate his new city (Rome). These popolation refused his request, so Romulus organized a show for attired all the inhabitants’s regions and, while they were watching this show, Romans kidnap their women. This action caused a war between Romulus (Romans) and Tito Tazio, king of Sabines ended with the Battle of Lake Curzio where women, wives of Romans and daughters of Sabines, placed in the midst of the factions and convinced Romans and Sabines to stop the war. But, after a long peace, in 290 B.C. Romans conquered Sabines after Sannis. (Here are still missing excursus on Etruscan and Latium popolations) Ｆｌｏｒｅｎｃｅ － Ｒｅｓｐｕｂｌｉｃａ Ｆｌｏｒｅｎｔｉｎａ （Ｒｅｐｕｂｌｉｃ ｏｆ Ｆｌｏｒｅｎｃｅ） ａｎｄ Ｓｉｇｎｏｒｉａ ｄｉ Ｆｉｒｅｎｚｅ （Ｓｅｉｇｎｏｒｙ ｏｆ Ｆｌｏｒｅｎｃｅ） In 476 A.D. the West Roman Empire fall, destroyed by Odoacer, general of Huns. He deposed the last Roman emperor Romulus Augustus and he created the Kingdom of Ostrogoths which was conquered by Byzantine Empire after the bloody Ghotic War (535-555 A.D.), but Longobards, thanks probably to Narsete, invaded regions and cities of Italy between 568 A.D. and 751 A.D. and took away most of territories to Byzantine Empire. Lucia, after these invasions, was conquered again by the Franks (or Carolingian Empire) of Charlemagne (or Charles the Great), the last alive son of Pepin the Short. When he died in 814 A.D., his reign in 817 A.D. was divided by his three sons: Lotario I became emperor of the Kingdom of Central Franks (its territories were Provence, North Italy, Central Italy and Lotaringia), Louis the German became king of East Franks, Charles the Bald became king of West Franks. In 752 A.D. born the Papal States formed by most of Central Italy regions (Umbria, Marche, Lazio and Emilia-Romagna) thanks to Donations made by kings. At this point Lucia remained with only a region in her hands, while Papal States was absorbing her territories: Tuscany. Before she know Scola Siciliana thank to Frederick II of Swabia, she stayed with Papal States and fought as a crusader (all Crusades from 1095, the first, to 1291, the last, even with Scola Siciliana she decided to dedicate herself in literature). When Frederick II of Swabia, an emperor hated by the pope Gregory IX, in 1220 showed to Lucia the Sicilian Poetry School, she was so impressed that she started to copy the sicilian poems in Florence, because in 1227 and 1234 there was revolts in Rome leaded by Ghibellines. But, instead of returns in Rome, she prefered to stay in Florence. When Frederick II of Swabia made famous the Sicilian Poetry School in Florence writers started to copy these poems in florentine. At the of XI century, after a great democratic development and a great flourishing period, cities reborned and the new urban classes gathered together for create an indipendent reality free from the imperial authority and feudal constraints: the communes. Lucia in this period began to think about a free existence like his brother Feliciano (especially when in 1115 Florence became a commune), who fought with Papal States against Frederick Barbarossa for the liberty of communes (Lombard League) so, because of this, she prefered to stay in Florence although there wasmany civil wars between Guelfs and Ghibellines and, subsequently, White Guelfs and Black Guelfs. (Here are still missing exursus and history of the Republic of Florence and Seignory of Florence, plus the part of  the commune of Florence is a bit confused) Ｇｒａｎｄ Ｄｕｃｋｙ ｏｆ Ｔｕｓｃａｎｙ （Ｇｒａｎｄｕｃａｔｏ ｄｉ Ｔｏｓｃａｎａ） ａｎｄ Ｒｏｍａｎ Ｒｅｐｕｂｌｉｃ （Ｒｅｐｕｂｂｌｉｃａ Ｒｏｍａｎａ） (In progress) Ｃｅｎｔｒａｌ Ｉｔａｌｙ (In progress) Ｃｅｎｔｒａｌ Ｉｔａｌｙ (In progress) Hobbies -Reading; -Writing; -Studying; -Drawing.

Talents: -Cooking; -Writing; -Drawing.

Fears: earthquakes (before say anything this fear ISN’T a reference to the famous earthquakes in Central Italy in 2016, it’s a general fear because there was, in the past, many other earthquakes in Central Italy), wars and civil wars (especially the second because civil wars ruined her grandfather and characterized many wars for power in Florence)

Languages Spoken: italian, Central Italy dialects

First Languages: italian

Hair Color: brown hair, between the dark brown of her big brother Romano and the light brown of her little brother Feliciano

Hair Style: slightly wavy hair with a curl to the right of her head and more central. This represent her geographically position (she is the Middle Italy)

Hair Length: medium-long hair

Eye Color:  green eyes, like the hills, the nature when spring come out and the Green Woodpecker, because this animal is related to many cults of ancient Central Italy popolations. According to a legend, the green woodpecker leaded the Picenes from the territory of Sabina to the Piceno’s region (Marche) during the ver sacrum. It was they totem animal. According to Ovid the green woodpecker was a man named Pico, king of Ausonia and founder of Albalonga, who was turned into a green woodpecker (“picchio verde” in italian) by Circe because he refused her love. For the Umbrians this animal was a symbol of good luck. For the Latins piculus (woodpecker in latin) was a sacred animal which could predict the future. For christian culture the green woodpecker was the only bird which hadn’t help God to create fountes, rivers and streams so God, for punish him, said that he couldn’t drink water from rivers, only on leaves and branches when it rains

Complexion: european dark skin

Overall Appearance: she looks like a young, twenty-one-year-old woman with slightly wavy hair, medium brown and medium length. Once she kept them long, but with the advent of the Unification of Italy initially she had been cuts them short (They not reached her shoulders) then, at the end of the war, she decided to let them grow. This represent her radical changes during the italian wars indipendent, psychological and territorial changes (she became more combactive and tried to conquer her territories which were donated in Medieval Age to Papal States). She usually wears elegant clothes, for her the appearance are important, like white shirts lined with lashes and tight black skirts. Posture always erect, almost regal in some ways, and a thin physical without curves too accentuated. Her dark eyes, of an emerald green, seem perennially serious or lost in the void, wandering in a separate world. She has two scars behind her back: one, the smallest, passes horizontally close to her waist and go through a quarter of her back, the other, bigger, begins after her shoulder and cross vertically her back until the scar reaching the first and crossing it slightly. They represent respectively the Battle of Tolentino in 1815 and the fall of the Second Roman Republic in 30th April 1849. The curl, typical of the brothers, it’s at the right of her head and more central. Obviously it is an erogenous zone, so she doesn’t want someone touch it. It represents her geographical position, at the center of Italy. She also has got a floreal bracelet which represents an event during spring in Castelluccio di Norcia called “Fioritura”. Between May and July the plateau of Castelluccio, Pian Grande and Pian Perduto, is colored by many and different species of flowers like daffodils, violets, tulips, gentianellas, etc…

Family:

Feliciano Veneziano Vargas/Nord Italia

Feliciano is the little brother of Lucia. She loves him like her big brother and in the past she helped him during the first battles against Austria in Risorgimento, even she didn’t helped him with a real and trained army but with an army formed by tuscan volunteers.

Lovino Romano Vargas/Sud Italia

Lovino is her old brother and she love him very much. Lucia see him as a protective figure even sometimes they quarrel. They fought together against Austria during the Battle of Tolentino and she asked his help during napoleonic conquests, in 1798, for throwing out frenchmen in her Roman Republic.

Romulus Caesar Vargas/Antica Roma - Repubblica - Impero Romano

Romulus taught her latin, Romans culture and religion, prohibiten her to learn ancient greek and greek philosopy. The education in Ancient Rome was very strich and disciplined, you had to study only what the government (or your pater familias) wantend you to learn, so Lucia learn only what Rome wanted her to learn. However, he loved her and she loved and loves him, so much that she’ll never forget the teachings of Rome, bringing them to today. (for example: her italian accent is very similiar to latin and she studied latin even after the death of her grandfather)

Friends: Feliks Łukasiewicz/Polonia They are friends, although their meeting is quite recent, in fact dates back to 1849. The Polish had come in Central Italy as a military assistance to the Roman Republic after Rome was besieged by the French and, then, he’s mentioned in the Italian anthem and Italy in the Polish Gilbert Beilschmidt/Prussia They are friends  (mostly drinking) although the Italian doesn’t love so much the prussian. Their friendship began in 1198, during the first Crusade, when the Teutonic Order was born. Armed fellow fighters, they fought together until about 1250, when Lucia decided to leave the military road and jump into the intellectual one thanks to the Scola Siciliana, and became the independent communes of Florence. In certain ways we can say she saw him born. They later found themselves in the Congress of Vienna and, in particular, in the Italian-Prussian alliance, also known as the Third Italian War of Independence, on March 28, 1866. We can say that Gilbert is the only one who she doesn’t really feel hate, despite his and his brother terrible behavior on her during World War II Antonio Fernàndez Carriedo/Spagna The relationship between the italian and spanish is rather neutral, they have a small friendship’s link just because they share Lovino. In the past, they have always been quite ambiguous, one allies then enemies and allies again, the culprits are also the lords/grand dukes of Lucia who have constantly danced between France and Spain for keep good relations with the firts and receive benefits from the second. Even during spanish domination period in Italy, despite she enjoyed the total support of Spain, the italian was almost forced to accept it as it was imposed by her superiors who were helped by spanish to return in Florence after the expulsion in 1494 (Piero de’ Medici was throw out in 1494 with all the other Medici’s components) Kiku Honda/Giappone Lucia meet Kiku during the Second World War but they never talk together unless for important things. After the war they started to talk because he sometimes visited her at Florence and nowdays they have a little friendship link. There are many japanese tourist at Florence, one of the most popular tourist destination, especially students who come for studies or their curiosity, plus in Central Italy there are many comicon dedicated to anime, manga, cosplay, games and comics where Lucia and Kiku often meet and, sometimes, they cosplay togheter. The most important are Lucca Comics and Games and Romics, but there are other less famous like Camerino Comics Enemies: Francis Bonnefoy/Francia Nowadays Lucia can’t even see the French how she hates him. Even though they don’t appear, they were great friends: France has supported Florence and the Medici family for many years even during the instability period of the 15th century - he helps the Florentine Republic set up after the expulsion of the Medici. Although she was later forced to support Spain - in those periods vicious enemy of France - their relations were good, especially thanks to Caterina de 'Medici, first, wife of Henry II, then guard of Charles IX, and were also allied in the war against Charles V -Lega of Cognac. The situation remained great for centuries, until Napoleon’s arrival. Initially, like all the Italians, she greatly admired the general, but as a result of increasingly pungent choices only to increase his power, confidence in Francis and in his beloved commander collapsed until it disappeared. The Napoleonic period for the two was the most unstable one, surrounded by continual quarrels and reconciliations which ended on March 21, 1801, when the French suppressed the Grand Duchy of Tuscany with the Kingdom of Etruria, removing at the Italian girl the last territory of her property. From that moment on, their relationship was broken. There was a last moment of reconciliation during the Unity of Italy (Plombières agreements) but the Armistice of Villafranca, the betrayal of Napoleon III, reversed again and for the last time the situation Roderich Eldestein/Austria Their relationship is not one of the best, since they met. The Medician dynasty, which had been left with only one childless component, had now dried up and it was replaced by the Habsburg-Lorraine, who became part of the Habsburg branch thanks to the marriage between the Archduke Maria Teresa d'Asburgo and Francesco Stefano di Lorena. The entry of the new family into the Grand Duchy of Tuscany should have included this territory into austrian possessions but they decided to keep the territories and, consequently, the respective crowns separate. Despite the decision, however, the austrian attempted to impose on her, for example, to oblige her to suppress an intellectual book because according to him was unfit, he also disagreed the Grand Duchy’s freedom of press. The Risorgimento worsened their already unstable relations with the battle of Tolentino in 1815, the siege of Ancona on May 8, 1849, and the conquest of the Grand Duchy of Tuscany on May 28, 1849. Although she hates him, in any case she owes him a big thank -that she will never say- to having returned to her the Grand Duchy of Tuscany during the Vienna Congress Arthur Kirkland/UK Today Lucia and Arthur seems to be enemies, because italians consider british dirty, bad in the kitchen and with strange habits, british consider italians mediocre and stupids. In reality, Lucia and her brothers had been allies with Arthur: during the World War I italians leave the Triple Alliance and, with the covenant of London, they went into Triple Entente, plus british during the Second Italian Indipendent war wantend to help italians, even only for ruin France and Austria. Many english writers used as model other italian poets and as setting an italian city, plus the english authoress Mary Shelley with his husband lived in Italy. However, unfortunately, these things didn’t contribuited to create a friendship link beacause of many contrasting differences (habits, way to talk, languages, etc…) and now, althought sometimes they talk together about literature, Lucia and Arthur aren’t good friends (still a sort of w.i.p.)

Okay, this is fabulous. I’m half Italian, and I love that you included such in depth information. Thanks for the submission!

~Kat

[ofrosaspina]

How It Began — Darcy and Jae

How Darcy and Jae ( @a-crack-in-the-marble​) first met. Written over Discord. 

Darcy written by myself (obviously) Jae written by T (@a-crack-in-the-marble)

Jae-

Jae was annoyed. He had to find a photographer for the shoot he was directing but they were all shit. They all claimed to be fucking visionaries but it was the same old photos of girls with ball gowns and jean jackets… fucking original… Of course he charmed all of the photographers, lead them on. ‘Your portfolio really has that extra something we’re looking for.’… ‘ it’s too early to say but I think you’re the best candidate we’ve interviewed,’... It was all utter bullshit. Jae was fucking with every single last one of them. They were all shit. He walked up and down the street, smiling sweetly at everyone he passed, men and women alike seemed to swoon. It was all very boring. He wanted to get a rise out of someone. He vaguely considered getting drunk right in the street just to see if he could get away with it, but that too was boring… been there done that. He flopped down onto a park bench, sitting on was was unmistakably a portfolio. He opened it without a second thought. Clearly whoever left it was fucking stupid and got what they deserved. He opened the portfolio and started to flip through. He was considering dumping it in the garbage three towns over but the images intrigued him. Fire. Lots of fire. He grinned. This was the kind of photographer he wanted.

Darcy-

He had to leave quickly. Too quickly. He supposed the police didn’t like that he was setting fire to things in the park, pouring gas on statues, and water fountains and setting them ablaze. They made for beautiful pictures however, and Darcy truly and honestly couldn’t help himself. He had circled the park twice in search of his perfect models, and took over twenty polaroids before he had to flee. Unfortunately, his little black portfolio had been left on a bench. Darcy was annoyed if anything, and had to wait for the police to clear out before he could go retrieve it.

Darcy had this thing for fire. Thing being a light term, it was more of a complete obsession. It was clear with the hundred or so pictures in the portfolio. Nothing he passed by wasn’t scorched. It was beauty. It was grace, Darcy loved the look of flames crawling up a wilting creature. There was a quiet judgement about it. He had so much power when he held his zippo in his palm. Like he could control any situation that came to him. It gave him purpose.

The young man was mildly disturbed.

He was well aware. Everyone around him was aware.

It was then, mid thought, that Darcy came back to that bench he had left, horrified that someone had his portfolio in hand. How dare they—

Darcy-

Darcy hummed low in his throat, "Ayo! Asshole!" He snapped, storming up to the stranger, and snatching the portfolio from his hands, "The fuck you doing with this?"

Jae-

Jae looked up, only letting his surprise show in a quick flash before he smiled slowly at the guy standing on front of him. "Hello there," he spoke low and slow, a combination he knew few could resist. "Your work is quite...impressive,".  He drew his gaze up and down the other.

Darcy-

Darcy just scoffs and tucks his work into his bag, sneering in the man's direction, "Yeah, I'd say thanks, but fuck you and your condescending face." He shoves his hands in his pockets, fiddling anxiously with his lighter, "Forget you saw anything."

Jae-

Jae's interest was immediately sparked... someone not so easily charmed. "Which one is it going to be, fuck me and my condescending face... or forget I saw anything?". He stood, shifting his body slightly toward the other guy. "I'm jae." He grinned.

Darcy-

Dark hues narrowed dangerously, fingers flexing around the cool metal of the lighter. He didn't do polite conversation, but neither did this man it seemed. He takes a step away as this stranger, Jae, shifts closer to him, "You're a Grade A piece of shit arent you? You have a real nice smile, but dude your eyes scream asshole..." he pauses, "Darcy--"

Jae-

Jae's eyes widened the tiniest bit. Usually all it took was a smile and his presence and people all but fell at his feet. Hell... sometimes they did fall down to his feet. His smile only grew. He needed this photographer. "Darcy," the name lingered on his lips. "I'd say you have a nice smile too but I haven't had the pleasure... yet."

Darcy-

His lip twitched the slightest bit, but it was just that. A twitch. He just sighs, "Save it." Darcy grumbles, and turns on his heels, worn sneakers carrying him a few steps away from the other, "Next time, don't touch what isn't yours, got it? Learn some Goddamn manners or some shit..."

Jae-

"My manners are impeccable. I could show you over dinner some time..." he blatantly followed Darcy. "Or... you could let me hire you as the photographer for a photo shoot I'm directing tomorrow."

Darcy-

He could hear Jae following him and that alone made his tremble ache slightly. This guy was insufferable, but hell he was persistent. Darcy continues to walk, annoyed, "Why the hell would I wanna do either of those things." He glances toward the street where cops were talking. Fuck. He turns lifting a brow, "You're awful you know that? Do like bugging strangers this much?"

Jae-

"Nope. Only you." He walked shoulder to shoulder with Darcy. "I think I could probably make it worth your while," he winked. Jae actually winked. Normally that would make any fucking normal person throw themselves at him. "I think your particular talents Re what the shoot needs." Jae followed Darcy's eyes to the cops nearby. He smiled slyly.

Darcy-

Darcy notices the wink, "Did a big fly into your re just then?" He almost sounds amused, but doesn't let on that he is mildly interested. He notices that Jae is eyeballing the police and his heart leaps into his throat, "How much does it pay?" Ducking his head a the two officers spot them, "Will you leave me alone if I agree?"

Jae-

"It'll pay however much you want," he shrugged. Like he fucking cared about the money. He just wanted Darcy. Jae caught Darcy avoiding the police officer's' gaze, and smiled wickedly. "I'm unlikely to leave you alone. You've sparked my interest Darcy." Jae walked straight up the two officers. "Hello gentleman. Can we help you?," his smile was sickly sweet.(edited)

Darcy-

Darcy was mildly horrified as Jae brushed passed him and up to the two officers, he couldn't breathe. He turns and immediately grabs ahold of the back of Jae's shirt with a threatening amount of force. He couldn't run though, he just kept close and ducked his head, "Ah yes, we’re looking for an individual who was setting fires in this park.   " they look at Darcy, "Have either of you seen anything?"(edited)

Jae-

Jae felt Darcy grab his shirt and he casually reached his hand back and grabbed hold of the other's hand with an innocent smile. "Setting fires in the park?," he cocked his head to the side with mock concern. "How awful!," he shook his head, playing the part of concerned citizen. The cops ate it up. Fucking idiots. Not even a challenge at this point. "We didn't see anything. We just met up a few moments ago to go have dinner together," he smiled and flicked his eyes to their hands.

Darcy-

Darcy was going to vomit. Seriously. He felt the bile burning in the back of his throat as Jae laced their fingers together in such an innocent fashion. He's rigid as the officers glare down at him. He hated this. Hated every moment of this. His breathing is quick, but he grits his teeth, "Is that right, son? You two just got here? I could have sworn I've seen you around." Darcy curses quietly. "No. Just got here." his answer is clipped and defensive. He was going to get arrested. He knew it.

Jae-

"Oh! you probably have seen him around. I direct a lot of photoshoots for a lot of the local fashion brands...Dee here photographs them for me and i've even convinced him to model a couple times so you've probably seen him in some of the magazine releases," he smiled at the officers. He knew better than to give them Darcy's name and he also knew it was unlikely they knew a fucking thing about fashion. "Now if you don't mind excusing us officers, we're a little late to our dinner reservations," he gave the men one last smile before tugging Darcy along with him down the street.

Darcy-

Dee? Fucking Dee? Absolutely fucking not. What a hideous nickname. Hell, this guy shouldn't even be touching him, and now he was acting like they were fucking. Sure, Darcy understood why he was doing it, but he didn't need to be protected. He had two feet, and he was quick. He could run and get out of town in a flash, but Jae was insisting to get in the middle. The officers just smiled and apologized for keeping them, and Darcy wanted to turn himself in. He'd rather be in jail at this point. He waits until they round the corner before yanking out of Jae's hand, "Fuck you." Darcy snarls, shoving him by the shoulders, "Who the hell do you think you are? Does it look like I need your fuckin' help man? I'm not a charity case, and I sure as shit don't need you protecting me like that."(edited)

Jae-

Jae smirked at the other. "I don't think you need my help...in fact I know that you don't. people who burn shit for fun don't often need help from others." He allowed himself to be shoved a little, starting right into Darcy's eyes. "But isn't it fun to fuck with people who are more weak-willed than us?," the gleam in his eyes was wicked. Darcy was different, he wasn't blind and ready to bend to Jae's every whim. Jae instantly liked this about him.

Darcy-

Darcy huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, palming his lighter as he did so. He constantly had it on him, it was like a child with their favorite teddy bear. It was a comfort mechanism. It was a pacifier. His thumb smooths over the metal, "You're twisted dude..." Darcy is quiet for a moment, "If the offer still stands I'll do that fuckin' shoot tomorrow. I want payment upfront. Cash not Check. I also want lunch." His brow lifts, "That won't be any trouble now will it?" he challenges. He didn't need anyone, that much was true, but Jae was interesting to say the least, so he didn't mind playing along a little. It was very rare for him to want to be around another human being. This was an anomaly.  "Oh, and call me Dee again and I'll make sure to set your car on fire next."

Jae-

Jae's eyes flicked to where Darcy played with the lighter. It was an odd habit, but it seemed to suit Darcy. "Excellent," he smirked. "And to think I was considering letting you off the hook for a dinner... Lunch will do and cash up front is no problem," rising easily to Darcy's challenge. He didn't care how much Darcy wanted. He'd pay it. "Did you want me to give them your real name instead?," he questioned.  "By the way...setting fires in parks?... I think I did you a favor by finding your portfolio before the cops did."

Darcy-

Darcy knew Jae was right. That he could have just given the cops his first name, but didn't. Still. The man before him was sparking a fire in Darcy. It wasn't often that he allowed himself to get this chatty with a stranger. Though, here he was. He heaves a troubled sigh, "Fuck off. I'm not normally not this fucking careless. It's just not my lucky day." Darcy eyes him up and down, "Clearly." The blonde pushes his free hand through his hair, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. I wanna get this shit show over with, then we can continue on with our lives."

Jae-

"Maybe it was fate? Ya know 'you're going to meet a tall, handsome stranger', type deal?" Jae met Darcy's eyes as they skimmed him up and down. "Like what you see?," he smirked. "Give me your phone number and i'll text you the address... although I think i'd like your number regardless," he mused, blatantly trying to flirt and charm the other. "you say that now, but i'll bet you'l be begging me to bring you to lunch again after you see me at work."

Darcy-

Darcy wasn't amused by the disgusting display of flirting, and he sure as hell didn't want to give him his phone number. He pulls out a old, shitty flip phone. It had a crack on the left side,a few scorch marks on the back, and it looked like it was ready to completely fall apart. He couldn't afford something nice than this. So, if Jae wanted to call him out on it. So be it. "You can't text me, so just call and keep it quick." he mutters out, scoffing, "You're pretty repulsive. I don't know if I'll be able to keep my food down if I'm honest." Darcy despite all his complaining reads off his phone number.

Jae-

"You wound me Darcy," he said as if the comments had hurt him. He typed the number into his phone smiling to himself. "Id say I grow on people but truthfully I don't normally have to work this hard to charm people." Jae had every intention of continuing though.

Darcy-

"I can see why you'd normally not have a problem, but I've been around people like you. People who can twist and manipulate other with ease..." Darcy pauses, tucking his phone back into his pocket, "I see right through you, Jae. You don't scare me, and you sure as hell don't have me charmed." Though, to be honest, Darcy was actually enjoying himself. Despite how his face might look.

Jae-

Darcy knew just what to say to get under his skin and Jae loved it, loved the challenge of it all. "I'm not trying to scare you... I guess I'll just have to work harder to charm you though," he sighed dramatically.

Darcy-

Darcy's quiet for a long moment, sighing eventually and turning away from Jae. "Right...I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Jae-

"Looking forward to it," he winked at Darcy again.

Darcy-

Darcy woke up to a phone call and a location. An hour later he was standing awkwardly in the middle of a gaggle of models who stood at least a head taller than him. His blonde hair flicked in the wind, "So, is this a bridal shoot then?" Darcy asks with an annoyed tone. It was all to clean and white. Boring. "Why did you think I'd be a good fit for this?"

Jae

Jae smiled and sauntered up to Darcy as soon as he saw him enter the room.  He shrugged at Darcy's comment. "Not my first choice either, that's why I wanted a photographer who could bring something different to the shoot." He glanced around at the room full of flowers. "Do you think you can handle that?" He smirked, leaning towards the other slightly

Darcy-

He leaned away as Jae came closer, holding his camera with sweaty hands. There were too many people. He didn't think this through. He could have easily blown this off. Why did he even come? "Yeah. I can handle it. Don't worry about it. I know what I'm doing."

Jae-

"Okay then. Let's get started," he flashed Darcy a smile and turned to address the room. Immediately his voice was authoritative but also silky smooth, drawing everyone in. "This is Darcy, he's going to photographing our lovely models." He gestured to the other. He pointed to one of the models, the tallest one with long black hair and wide eyes,"you... I want you on the couch in the middle of the flowers, please dear. He cocked his head a little and grinned, "be good for our new friend here and get some pretty shots." He stood back to watch.

Darcy-

Darcy watched with a stoic face, jaw set and eyes cold, and distant. The models smiled at him, but he could tell they were a little uncomfortable. He got right to work, quietly instructing the model into different poses, but despite the pictures looking gorgeous-- Darcy wasn't feeling it.

Jae-

Jae watched the shoot, allowing Darcy to take control, but something felt off. He needed to stir up some shit to get this moving. He walked up behind Darcy, "mind if I look at the photos?," his voice was polite and lacking his normal confident charm. He wanted to throw Darcy off, he wanted to get a rise from him.

Darcy-

Darcy blinks, startled by the man's appearance behind him, "Go for it..." he moves to flip through the photos on the camera, but for some reason he felt nervous, "Well?"

Jae-

"Hmmm...," Jae stared at the photos. They were good in the technical definition... better than actually, but they weren't what he was looking for, not what he was expecting from the guy who set fires in the park. "I think they're still missing something. What do you think, Dee?" He was trying to piss Darcy off a little. He wanted to see the same spark he saw yesterday.

Darcy-

Darcy physically twitches as Jae spoke, tearing his camera out of the man's sight, and hugging indignantly, "Don't fucking call me that, and what the hell could be missing?" Some of the models were beginning to shy away from the two as Darcy's tone became tight, "I'm working with what I got--"

Jae-

"Dee seems fitting for now. I think Darcy had a lot more fire in him," he practically purred at the other. "My models are the best around," he said it sweetly, but he knew they weren't. Models just had the fucking worst confidence and he really didn't feel like dealing with them. "What do you need to make these photos spark? I'm willing to try anything," his tone suggestive as he smirked at Darcy.

Darcy-

Darcy shoved passed Jae, "Fuck off." He snarls and points at one of the models, directing her to lay back on one of the sofas, and had her fluff the dress to the side. She looked terrified, and he could see a little shine in her eyes, "Good." He snaps, " Move to the left a little. Good. Pout a little." He just wanted to get this over with.

Jae-

He watched closely...these would be better but still not quite what Jae had imagined. He just needed to push the other a tiny bit more. "I wanted more spark, not crying models," he clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. He didn't really care if the models cried or not. He walked right up to the photographer and stood just behind him, whispering so only Darcy would hear him, "Where's the Darcy I met last night...the one ready to burn the whole park down?... that's the Darcy I want," his voice was low a just a little breathy. He was determined to test out all his normal tricks on Darcy, curiously watching for his reaction.

Darcy-

Hearing the voice behind him made his heart jump into his throat, and out of pure adrenaline he spun around and socked Jae right in the mouth. His fist ached, "Why the fuck did you hire me?" Darcy snarled, "Are you fucking with me?" He laughs dryly, shaking his head as he storms away. Without a second thought his lighter was out. If he wanted passion and fire...Darcy would give him fire. The flame licked the flowers, and spread quick.

Jae-

People immediately ran to jae and he waved them off. His hand rubbed against his jaw but he couldn't help but smile. that had certainly never happened before. He couldn't help but be amused. He let Darcy walk off the set, eyes going wide as the flames engulfed the flowers around the model. She started to run but Jae was there in an instant. "Stay. For the love of all things fucking holy, stay. He stepped up to the model, knowing he had a limited about of time before sprinklers went off. "Okay honey, lift your hand up, towards the flame, tuck your legs to the side up on the couch and let the dress hang over the edge. Chin up and slightly away from the fire. Just stare straight ahead. Do that and I'll let you take the diamond earrings home," his voice dripped like  honey. He chased after Darcy. "You're going to want to see this Darcy! Please just come take this shot. One shot. Everything is up and flames and it's calling to you, I know it is." His voice was slightly more urgent, his usual lazy tone gone. This was the shot he needed. Out of fire, Darcy created beauty.

Darcy-

Darcy was shaking. He was heading toward the door, the chaos ensuing behind him making his heart hammer against his chest. He so bad wanted to spin on his toes and watch the entire venue go up in flames, but he knew the police would soon be called, and he had to get out of here. Unless of course, he wanted to be sitting in jail for the next ten years. Which, no, he did not. So, he was out of there. It wasn't until he heard that irritating voice once again, begging, yes, Jae sounded like he was begging him to come take the shot. Darcy was confused, rightly so, but the flames were so pretty. smoke billowed up toward the ceilings, and with one nod he sprinted back over with his camera. He didn't say anything, he just lined up the shot and took a handful of photos of the terrified model. Then, the alarms were going off, and the sprinkler system was set off. Everything was soaked in seconds, Darcy's waterlogged clothes pulling his shoulders down. He was entranced, completely by the sight of the flowers fizzling out. He could feel the tears dripping down his cheeks, and he was just thankful that no one could tell with the sprinklers.

Jae-

Jae watched in awe as Darcy worked. He was entirely different with the flames creeping dangerously all around. He could see it in the way he stood, the way he focused, and in the way his body seemed to mimic the fluid beauty of the flames. It was all incredibly dangerous and mind-bogglingly alluring. Jae stood silent and speechless as the sprinklers drenched them all. People panicked around him, running to protect all the expensive, useless things. Jae walked up to Darcy, keeping his distance for once. He smiled genuinely at Darcy, a rare sight indeed. "That was the spark I was looking for Darcy."

Darcy-

Darcy felt like he was being physically pulled out of his body when Jae spoke, clearly shaken by the events, but he's quick to pull himself together. That is, until he sees that smile. It wasn't like before. It wasn't that look that made Darcy want to drown the man in the nearest bathtub, no, the smile was — Nice. It made his skin crawl. "Fuck you..." but this time, there was no malice in those words. No, instead, Darcy tips his head back letting the water wash over his flushed face, and he laughed. He just couldn't help himself. Who in their right mind would encourage Darcy's behaviour? Clearly Jae had a few screws loose. He liked that.

Jae-

Jae could do little but stare as Darcy's head tilted back, chin high in the air. The other's laugh sent shivers up his spine, the sound intoxicating. He barely registered the water running off his own face. Everything about Darcy was different, he didn't fit any mold that Jae had cataloged in his brain. He didn't respond to his presence like everyone else around him did, and he wanted more of Darcy's biting remarks. He was bored with people, they never could keep up with him, but Darcy clearly could. Soon the flames were extinguished and people were looking to him for guidance. He looked at one of his assistants stating flatly, and without his usual charm, "fucking handle it." He turned to Darcy, "Lunch?," he asked softly.

[vulture-jack]

I think my problem with not enjoying puzzle games is that I dont get a sense of accomplishment out of figuring out a puzzle.  

I get a sense of inferiority when I struggle with or CANT figure it out.

Long ass elaboration that got way to deep and a little A LOT to self-analysis…y below the cut.  

Solving a puzzle in a puzzle game feels like something im SUPPOSED to be able to do because SEEMINGLY everyone else can, if the game was THAT hard no one would buy it or praise it or recommend it because two few people would be able to beat it and have the full experience, so I’m just stressed and constantly feel like my intelligence is coming into question if I can’t get through it?  If everyone else can get through it, and I can’t, what does that say about me? Fucking EVERYONE has beat Portal. Except me. And no one even really talks about how HARD Portal is.  Except for me. So puzzle games tend to make me feel like shit.  For a number of reasons, I tend to just. Give up. A lack of motivation, getting no joy out of the puzzle aspect and seeing it as a chore, it not being the way I typically enjoy exercising my thinking muscles, etc etc.

 And even if I CAN beat those puzzles, its a stressful as fuck experience through the whole damn thing. Like taking a standardized test.  Even though thats not the case?  I feel like I’m being tested and I hate taking tests because I don’t celebrate good grades so much as feel they are expected of me.  If I do poorly or even “average” C level I feel like a failure.  The negative emotions I got from low grades WAY overpowered any positive emotions I got from good grades. Good grades = relief that I didnt get a bad grade and i didnt ruin my future and my parents wont get mad at me.  And this same feelings accompanies puzzle games.  If I CANT do it, then I feel like shit about myself and get a nice helping of lowered self confidence and heightened insecurity.  If I DO do it, then its nothing to celebrate because its part of the game, everyone who plays this is supposed to be able to do this. Tons of people already did this.  Its not really an accomplishment to me.  I know this is a flawed way of looking at things, but every time I encounter puzzle games or people recommending puzzle games to me because “No but this ones really good!” Im like…it doesn’t matter.  

Every time I hear someone talk about the sense of accomplishment they get while playing puzzle games I’m like “God I wish that were me”.

And if you want to comment on this like “No you should finish X its really good!” Im going to get mad at you. I won’t say I’m mad at you, I won’t ACT like I’m mad at you because I know in reality I’m just an irritable fuck who takes things way too personally, and I try to act according to that knowledge and not take it out on people who dont deserve it. But I’m going to be irritated as fuck. 

Unless its super fucking easy or environmental and not the core draw of the game, I have no interest in subjecting myself to that stress. Puzzle games are STRESS to me. Its not their fault or the developers fault I’m insecure as fuck but that doesn’t make me enjoy the experience. 

The kinds of puzzles I don’t mind are the simple ass ones that show up in Uncharted, for example. But some of those even stumped me and if the whole, or even half the game was those, I wouldn’t play them, and theyre frequently my least favorite parts of a game.  

If finishing a puzzle is easy and i manage to finish it i might get a little bit of “yay i did it” but its usually more like “yay thats over now let me climb some shit or shoot some guys or see a new location”.  

Puzzles don’t make me feel smart and accomplished, they pretty much do the exact opposite.  

I’m more likely to say “Im not smart” these days because I’m so sure other people are going to reach the same conclusion that I feel like I need to beat them to it. That somehow, if they at least think I’m self aware of my own flaws, they wont think as little of me. Isn’t that fucked up?  Thats fucked up, though.  

 I know that its all bullshit, too, though?  Like I know a puzzle game does not measure my intelligence, and that my “intelligence” does not measure my worth. I know that society has fucked up ways in which it values “intelligence” and places worth upon people for factors out of their control.  I know that measuring peoples worth by their “intelligence” is fucked up.  I’m not educated enough on the topic to speak on it at length like I know what the fuck I’m talking about, but I’m aware of these realities.  I would not hold another person up to these standards which I hold myself do.  My failures to do certain things reflect negatively on me, but do not lesser OTHER PEOPLE who share my same failures in my eyes. 

But I was also raised in this society and it did fucked up things to my brain and trying to unlearn them and get a healthy state where I can play Portal without feeling like my worth as a human being is on the line is harder than just being aware of those fucked up things. 

And I don’t really know Puzzles in games bother me so much, considering I feel accomplished when I beat a small army that was giving me hell.  Even though its the same thing.  Tons of other people can beat those enemies, and at a higher difficulty, and probably faster and more efficiently. But I don’t care. Thats fun an engaging and rewarding. A puzzle is a boring chore at best, and a stressful unwanted hit to my self esteem at worst. Its literally homework. Its literally school to me. 

I think it might have something to do with the rigidity of puzzles and their answers?  You have to figure out the one answer, or the one path to that answer.  The answer is the solid, concrete goal and you gotta figure out what is usually the ONE way to do that. Whereas with killin small armies of mercenaries, i know what the answer is. Get them all dead. How I do it is my business, and I get to feel creative and tackle things MY WAY.  I get to be smart MY WAY.  Because real life puzzles arent often “heres a complicated set of things that a person set up with one or two answers, figure it out”, its usually like.  “Heres a problem created by circumstances, and theres probably a ton of ways to get what you want, do what you gotta do, and because you WANT IT, you have the motivation to give a shit”

If all im getting out of puzzles is an advanced PLOT, then I’m just gonna get pissed and look up a lets play so i can see someone that doesnt hate puzzles because puzzles make them hate themselves for me. 

This is why games like Portal can hold me at first and lose me later when its really obvious that theres just something I’m missing, and god I’ve been stuck in this room for so long that its killed any interest I have to continue playing this game, but I’m going to carry around this badge of “No I didn’t actually beat Portal 1 OR 2 ok, I got STUCK.  Leave me alone please I know im a disgrace, you dont have to tell me.”

Puzzles then become harder because I have no motivation to solve them.  I’m sure there are plenty of puzzle games I COULD BEAT but since I have no desire to or gain any real sense of accomplishment from them, I have no motivation to put my brain power into it when I could be playing another game I don’t have to force myself to enjoy because I feel like “Should” because this is what “Smart” people do and if I want to be “smart” then I should do stuff like this. 

That and im so used to games where puzzles are an obstacle keeping me from where I want to go, the distractions from everything else I love about a non puzzle oriented game. 

So while a puzzle game might have a great story, characters, aesthetic, etc.  I will never WANT to play it.  I might wish I ENJOYED it but I just do not have an interest in dedicated “Puzzle games”.  

TLDR I grew up one of those “smart kids” who found myself slowly slipping behind through highschool, hit hard as fuck in college, and now feel like I’m mostly behind everyone else in terms of study, life and motivation, im insecure as FUCK, and puzzle games hit that nerve like a goddamn mallet. Wow this got WAY FUCKING DEEPER than I wanted it to. 

TLDR Shorter Edition: I’m really fucking insecure. 

Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with puzzle games or the people that play them.  I am a firm believer in the idea that just because a play style or format isn’t for me, doesn’t mean its bad and shouldn’t exist, ( I’m lookin at YOU, people who complain when a game is a tightly controlled linear narrative. I LIKE those, go play the bazillion other games that ARENT those.)