ohnohetaliasues

[ohnohetaliasues]

Blood Raining Night (Ch.5) - The Re-Review

(Kat)

I was going to take a break and review more later but then I realized what chapter it was, and I had to keep going. This chapter is a fucking trip. It's technically NSFW, but like, at the same quality level as the rest of this story, so it's really not that bad.

Chapter 9 is another chapter with sex scenes, but far more graphic, so as a 13-year-old when I first reviewed this, I skipped that chapter. I will not be skipping it this time, because I'm no longer a minor and also, I guess I hate myself.

Inuyasha took out his big gargantuine

Gargantuan**

dick and touched it.

Now you see why I put the cut so soon.

Like all wolves and creatures of the night, he needs loving.

Wow that line sure is a line.

The moon was full and he could feel his blood boil all over his boyd.

Body*

Boyd still makes me cackle to this day.

Also, interesting tidbit of information, Inuyasha actually has a tendency to turn fully human on the full moon. He's a reverse werewolf.

It was mating season, and he needed to find a female.

This is the only image I could think to use.

The first girl that came to his mind was Reicheru.

Naturally.

He longed to touch her valumptuois body

Voluptuous**

Speaking of which, is this your girl? She's valumptuois indeed. My gargantuine dick is rock hard. I must find a mate, by God. I need my loving!

and kiss her on the neck. He thought about it all night until he finally went to her house.

All he wants is to touch her valumptuois body and kiss her on the neck. Nothing else, though, this is a Christian household.

“Hey, Reicheru,” he whispered to her window, “I’m comming in.”

Coming*

Also, this is happening very fast. Also also, it says he whispered to her window, so this sounds like he was speaking to an inanimate object, and I love the mental image of him doing that and getting no response because he was talking to a closed window and not a person.

“What,” she said, “why?”

A very valid question. She's so real for that.

“You’re the only woman I can ever love,

I hate the blatant disregard for my girl Kagome.

And also the blatant disregard for Reicheru's entire ass boyfriend.

and I need you right now. It’s time for me to mate. Aooohhhhhh!” He howled. Then he came in,

He just. Howled. Cool. Just making sure we were on the same page. Carry on.

“I can’t do this, what about Denmark? We love each other very much.”

Yeah uh. I don't think Inuyasha cares about that, he's too horny. Now submit to your alpha.

I hate myself.

She looked into his sparking blue saphire ocean eyes.

Yes, his sparkling blue sapphire** ocean eyes.

Blue.

What a lovely shade of blue.

The lust covered her whole body. “But I love you more,” he nuzzled her neck with his nose and put his thing against her legs. “Let me do it!!”

So. I write smut. My writing blog is a prime example of that. And this.

Also I love how she literally said no, and he was like lol anyway. Very rapey, very cute.

She leaned black on the bed

Racist.

and let him into her.

Is she... he just did that dry?

Ow?

Poor Reicheru? Jesus.

They were in love, and they started humping. They screatched

Screeched*

Also 'they were in love, and they started humping' is a hysterical phrase.

and moaned, sending horrible cat and dog noises to their neighbors.

Someone call animal control.

Also, I'll bet some of that 'screatching' was in pain since he just did that DRY. I pray for Reicheru's poor vagina.

Finally, after a good three hours, they were done.

So, setting aside how much stamina Inuyasha would have to have for that, how did Denmark not catch them if they were that loud? Is he deaf? Out of the house?

“That was amazing, Inuyasha.” she breathed. “Yes, it was.” he smiled at her.

Cheater.

Suddenly, Denmarker 

I've been saving this.

burst into the room.

Okay, now he's here. Did he just wait until Inuyasha was done fucking his girlfriend to come confront them, or did he just arrive and think something was amiss? I'm very confused.

“REICHERU!!” He screamed, “I LOVED YOU! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!” “It’s all my dad’s fault,” she cried, “I wouldn’t have has sex with Inuyasha if he hadn’t been so consoleing when my dad came back!”

Consoling*

Also, excuse me? Cool excuse, still cheating. Bitch.

Then she woke up. It had all been a dream. Or had it?

I'm tired.

Distressed Reicheru went downstairs, almost crying. The memories of her father were terrible. After her mother died she had to live with her father- he was very mean to her!

This is more all over the place than a mismatched puzzle.

Ever since the day she thought he died, a little bit of life was brought back into her sole.

Ah, yes. Her sole. Now we have sentient shoes to deal with.

Now that he was black,

Racist.

she didn’t know what to do. It was like the darkest, evilest, worst cloud had come to rain down upon her and shatter her heart with torture.

That... certainly was a metaphor. Whether or not it made sense is up to you to decide, I guess.

“I’ve been waiting for you…” Denmark came out of nowhere. He was sitting on the couch with his legs propped up on the coffee table.

He can't really come out of nowhere if he was already sitting there.

Do you miss me?” He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss. “Oh, hi, Denny-Kun…” Reicheru looked away. “Is there something wrong?” “No, I’m fine. Really.”

This is so bizarre, because we're about to learn that her three-hour escapade with Inuyasha wasn't a dream, which is so weird, because Denmark is straight up acting like nothing happened. He was very emotional before.

Also, what happened? It's still extremely unclear to me, since from the way this is written, it seems to me that Inuyasha and Reicheru had sex, Denmark burst in, Reicheru shouted her weak ass excuse about why she cheated, Inuyasha fucked off, and Reicheru had a sudden bout of narcolepsy that caused her to fall asleep, after which Denmark just. Let her do that and decided to deal with that later. He was like:

“I can tell you’re hiding something from me behind that beautiful smile of yours.” It was like a heavenly light shone on her ass

On her ass?!

Okay. Great. When do I get a heavenly light to shine on my ass?

he kissed her forehead and said, “I love you. Now, tell me whats wrong?” “My daddy- I mean- dad even terrorizes me in my sex dreams.”

So, is he just pretending nothing is wrong? Is he in denial?

She never called him dad before because when she last saw him she as young enough to call him daddy.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but she's been calling him 'dad' this entire time.

“That bastard,” Denmark exclaimed, “If he ever messes with you again I will kill him.” “There’s nothing you can do! Den-kun…there’s nothing…you…can…do…”

This reaction is amusing, not only because he's threatening to kill someone over a dream, but also because he's a personification of a country, meaning he has a literal army.

With that, Reicheru ran up into her own room with Denmark coming after her. She closed the door before he could get in. On the nightstand there was a bottle of pills. They were the type of pills that made you “feel good” after taking them.

Uh, TW for drug abuse, I guess? I honestly forgot this happened.

“I said I wouldn’t do this anymore, I quit!" But the pills were there, tempting her, all shiny and blue. She reached out and took one!"No, stop it!” She threw the first pill on the floor.  She took a second one, and done the same. But the third one was evil- a pill made to make the addict want to take it.

That's how I feel right now.

Also, if she was a recovering addict, as this is implying, why the hell would she keep the very substance she was abusing in her house? My mom is a recovering alcoholic, been sober for years, and we don't ever have alcohol anywhere in her house.

A member from the clan going against the Yakuza had snuck it into her bottle.

Just... like on the off chance that she'd take it? Or did she know it was there? Either way, this guy is a shitty assassin.

She couldn’t help herself and she took it. “NO! Why? WHY?!” She started downing more pills! They were like terrible candy.

So, addiction is a struggle, that's like saying water is wet, but this just makes it sound like she's somehow possessed, and is extremely confusing.

She was supposed to feel better with every pill but she didn’t- she just wanted more!  It was almost orgasmic!

God. Please.

Soon she found a knife.

She was tripping really hard. 

Is she on psychedelics, then?

It seemed to her that the knife wanted to be dug into her flesh. 

Is... that a yes?

She longed to see and drink the blood. 

Her own blood? Whose blood are we talking about?

Slowly, she stabbed her shoulder and then moved down to her arm.

The expression on my face is just one of discomfort.

The blood flowed like a waterfall of pain and bliss.

How... oxymoronic?

Her tongue touched the red waterfall and she drank it- it tasted as refreshing as a lemonade Capri-Sun. 

In a scene where someone is supposed to be bleeding out, I don't think I should be laughing, but here we are. I think it's just all those wannabe dark, visceral descriptions juxtaposed with 'it was as refreshing as a lemonade capri-sun' in reference to her blood of all things that really got me.

It seemed flowing and endless. Her body grew pale and her eyes turned red with excitement!

Well, she's edgy enough to think dying is fun, I suppose.

She was going insane!!!

Oh, give me a break.

Also, I'm morbidly curious to know what this would sound like from outside the door. What exactly is Denmark hearing?

She could imagine all her problems disappearing into her mouth, being washed away with her blood. Her father wouldn’t hurt her anymore, no one ever would. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her blood dripped all over her face.

That's... surprisingly sad.

As sad as a scene of someone vampiring themselves can be, I suppose.

“Are you okay?? REI-KUN! Open this door!!! I love you, don’t hurt yourself!! Not anymore!!” I was too late, gallons of blood was lost from her body and she passed out on the floor, everything stained red.

GALLONS?!

I also noticed that it says I was too late, not it was too late, and while I know that was just a typo, it looks like a random point of view switch.

It was hours before Denmark broke open the door

HOURS?

Oh, she's very dead.

Also, I seem to remember that Denmark carries an axe, so I'd imagine he'd have gotten the door open faster than that.

and found the bleeding Reicheru. She was badly hurt.

Well. That chapter was a wild ride, but unfortunately, all rides need to come to an end. Also, obviously she won't be dead, she has too much plot armor for that.

I have a figure drawing class to get to, so I'll be back to review the next chapter when I'm done with that.

Bye for now.

~ Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Blood Raining Night (Ch.4) - The Re-Review

(Kat)

You still know the drill.

“Huuuu-haa!” her black hair wiped around like a black wip.

whipped**

Whip*

Also, using an adjective to describe an action and then creating a simile comparing that action to the noun form of the word you just used is hilariously redundant. Thank you.

I already know who this person is, so I won't say anything about it. Do me a favor and just wait, if you don't also know. It's worth it, I promise.

There was a feirce 

Fierce**

look of constetration 

Concentration**

The more I go through this, as an adult, the more I realize that this story was likely written by someone quite young, maybe around the 14–15-year-old range. I myself was a young teenager when I first looked at this, I reviewed it over the course of two or so years from the ages of 13-15, so I suppose it may have been harder to recognize back then, but the spelling mistakes and general lack of polished writing tells me that this is likely. Doesn't mean I won't continue to have fun almost affectionately picking it apart, as this story is very near and dear to my heart, but it's just something I've been thinking about.

on her face as fire and air came out of her hands.

Oh, we already know.

Denmark took Reicheru over to her, “Rei-kun” he said, “meet Korra, your new tutor in learning the dark arts of air and fire bending.”

Yeah.

Also, this is particularly delicious, because while I know this is some kind of convoluted AU, it begs the question of how in the hell Denmark knows the fucking Avatar. What is the backstory here?

It doesn't feel like this was done in any cohesive way; it just feels like (and this is probably the case) the author cherry picked her favorite characters from various media and cobbled them together into one convoluted story, then refused to take criticism about it. Which she did, I read her comments section on Fanfiction.net way back when.

Also also, the fact that they called bending 'dark arts' is really funny to me. Additionally, what happened to earth and waterbending? are they just for losers? Why can Reicheru even learn bending as presumably a non-bender? Sokka couldn't learn bending simply because he wasn't a bender. Is Reicheru the Avatar?

“Konnichiwa! Watashinonamaeha Reicheru Ketsueki, sore wa anata ni aete ureshidesu!”

So, she basically just introduced herself to Korra in Japanese. I won't translate, not only because it's grammatically incorrect but also because that was hard to read and decipher.

Rei bowed, formally, her brown hair falling over like a silky waterfall.

The simile hurts me.

“No, Rei-Kun, she CAN speak English.”

Also, she probably wouldn't speak Japanese. Korra is water Tribe, meaning if she did speak a language, it would likely be Inuktitut since that's largely based on Inuit culture.

Fire Nation is more similar to imperial Japan.

Sorry, I just love ATLA.

“Oh, gomen-nasa- I mean- I’m sorry.” 

I'm tired.

Rei bowed again, “How are you, Korra?” “I’m faaaaan-tastic!” She wizzed up in the air and shot flames out of her hands. “I am ready to make you the most lethal assassin! Besides me, of course.”

Korra isn't an assassin, she's the Avatar. Also, her response is so bizarre I can't help but laugh at it.

‘hmh’ Rei thought to herself, I’m already lethal… Korra touched Demark on the cheeck, “you know, maybe you should join, too…we need some sexy men around here.”

I think I went through at least three of the five stages of grief there.

Actually, scratch that. I just went through the other two. I'm at peace now.

“No, I think he’s fine at home!” Reicheru snaped.

Snapped** but the mental image of Severus Snape just suddenly appearing is quite amusing. Or of her saying that line in Snape's voice. Take your pick, whichever is funnier to you.

"Anyway,“ Korra blinked her beautiful eyes, “I need to start training you! We could be best friends.” 'hell no’ Reicheru thought.

Korra's character arc in this story is so fucking bizarre that you'll just have to stick around and witness it. Just wait.

"Catch, Reicheru!“ Korra threw fire at her. Reicheru held out her hands and caught it, instantly freezing it with ice. 

We already know Rei is a mary sue in a half, but the fact that she can apparently just waterbend is really annoying to me. She isn't the avatar.

"My, you are strong. Can you bend fire, too?”

Why would she be able to?

Oh, right. This is Blood Raining Night. Of course she can. Nothing abides by canonical means, and I should stop expecting or hoping for them to.

“Of course I can! Nya on!” Reicheru lit a candle in her hands.

Of course, the candle that she just had. She brings it everywhere with her, in case she needs to light it with her hands. Or was it stored in her magical cleavage compartment?

“You see, my farther was a demon. My mother was part cat. I have the demon blood in me, I can start fires.”

Since I actually know who her father is, the notion that he's a demon is hysterically funny. Let's just say he's something not human, but he isn't a demon. That's so goddamn funny.

“THAT’S SO AMAZING! You could be the next avatar.” She cupped Rei’s hands. “I can feel it within you.”

I will kill all of you.

“The power?” Reicheru looked puzzled and confused like a lost boy in the woods.

I feel just. Irritation. Stop.

“No, but, nevermind that. It’s tea-time!” Korra pranced off to fetch a tray of tea. 'What did she mean?’ Reicheru thought.

Wow, we trained for five seconds. Wanna be friends? Let me hit on your boyfriend, who is just gone now with no indication of how he left. Anyway, tea time!

In the tea room Korra spoke about herself. “You know” she said drinking some mint bubble-tea, “I have a secret, too.”

Do you?

“Oh, and what’s that?” Reicheru looked at her curiously like a cat. Her ears twicthed. “I’m part angel, really, I am. No one believes me, though.” Korra sucked down a ball.

I forgot about this story's obsession with angels and being part angel. It's as bizarre as it is really funny. I have some old, edited reaction photos I made for the express purpose of poking at some of the misspellings of the word.

“You are? But you don’t even have wings.” “Oh, but I do! I just keep them hidden so no one hunts me down and tries to rip them off. I can fly and I have the power to control light. I can’t blood bend, though. Only demons can do that.”

Korra actually can bloodbend, but we'll just gloss right over that.

“I’m sure I can blood bend, then.” Reicheru sucked on her bubble tea. There were sakura petals falling on them in the pink courtyard

They were in a tearoom literally like five seconds ago. More teleportation moments, I see.

It was a wonderful summer day. The breeze was just right and the air spoke of love.

Oh yes, summer, the time when cherry blossom trees do not bloom. We can only assume those petals are asbestos and everyone is going to die. The air speaks of death. Armageddon is here.

“I hear your half-sister is an angel, too. Yuki, right?”

Right. Yuki. I remember her. Rei's inexplicable angel half-sister who only exists to provide deus ex machina.

“Uhhuh. I love Yuki! She is an angel. Loving and great with people. You can’t find anyone better than her.” Reicheru sipped a little more.

Great. The lore of this story is so all over the place.

“I hear you’re trying to kill your dad.” Korra’s voice sofened into silk.

Wow, hell of a conversation starter, there, Korra.

“Yes, he is the most terrible man. I always feel like he watching me, even on the toilet.” They both heartidly laughed. 

The humor in this is so juvenile.

“You know, at first I didn’t think we were going to be friends.”

It is unknown to me which one of them said that line.

After training they went home. 'Man that Korra is loopy.’

Loopy isn't the word I'd use.

Also, they barely did any training.

 Reicheru thought. The sweat of the workout had soaked her clothes through, conforming to her body. Her silouette

Silhouette**

Also, what workout? Did they do a workout offscreen that we weren't informed of?

 looked like that of a nakid woman.

Naked**

Also. Uh, cool, I guess. I don't know what to say here. The unnecessary attention being drawn to how sexy Reicheru is is getting excessive.

“I hear you’ve gotten a new tutur,” Inuyasha stepped out of the shadows.

Tutor**

Also, the fact that I have no idea where Reicheru is since the scene was never set up after she left training makes this extra funny, because I have no idea where Inuyasha could have been hiding in the shadows. Do they follow him around for when he needs to do some dramatic shit?

He was caught offguard by her beauty. “Oh, my, you look lovely.”

She's sweaty and probably smelly. Let her shower before you try and rizz her up.

They both blushed, then she said “domo arigato gozaimashita, Inu-sama.”

I audibly groaned in agony at that.

“I couldn’t get them to kill your father. I didn’t have the money.” He marveled at her in passion.

And at that.

“It’s okay, I want to do it myself. He needs to die.” Inuyasha turned away, “why did Denmark do this to us? I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I wish we could train together again. I-I-I miss…you…Rei-Kun…”

AND THAT.

IF YOU'RE GONNA USE HONORIFICS, AT LEAST USE THE RIGHT ONES.

“Did you just say…Rei-Kun?” Her ears perked up. “Yes, I did,” he said boldy,

Boldly**

“I have feelings for you, feelings I’ve wanted to express since the day we met, all those years ago. You have captivated me in such a way no one has. Your beauty your intellegance, your passion, it’s just amazing to me. We have so much  in common and- oh -I have said too much, haven’t I?”

What's Kagome, chopped liver?

Also, intelligence**

“Perhaps…” inside, she was smileing.

Smiling**

Also, super scummy to say all that to someone who is in a committed relationship. Just saying.

 “Anyway, any luck with retrieving your woman?”

Cold as ice.

“You mean Kagome? No, not yet. Thank you for reminding me. I better go plan that out.” Inuyasha lepted

Leapt*

 into the air and disappeared into the sky.

He can fly now, I guess.

“Goodbye…” Reicheru whispered. She put her hands on her stomach. 'The power within me…’ she whispered.

No, don't worry, it's just indigestion.

That's the end of the chapter. I can see now why this fic used to hurt to read. But I promise, once it gets crazy, it doesn't stop being crazy.

Stay tuned.

~ Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Blood Raining Night (Ch.3) - The Re-Review

(Kat)

You know the drill.

She woke up all alone in a room she’d never seen before.

Who did? We all know it's Rei, but still, less vagueness would be nice.

It was pitch black and maniacal laugher could be heard from a distance.

You know. Normal stuff.

 She could taste blood in her mouth; and she liked it.

Nice and edgy, as she should.

Her cat demon must have came out and attacked someone,

Does it... do that often?

She doesn't have any preventative measures in place? No? Cool.

she was scared and alone. 

And I'm confused, but I'm not making a big deal of it.

“Denny-Kun,” she called out, “where are you? Are you here? Nya?”

Oh yes, let's call out in the unknown murder dungeon. That's a great idea.

She walked out of the room and down a long, narrow hallway. A feeling of guilt and cowardness

Why? I genuinely don't remember much about this scene, so it must not have left much of an impression on me.

overcame her. What had just happened? Did she really eat somebody?

I'm puzzled by her lack of memory. Is her cat demon like a werewolf type deal? I don't remember much about it, honestly.

These were things she didn’t want to think about. Her main focus was on finding a way out. “I have captured you, Rei. There is no escape.“ 

I already know who this is because I've read this, and the identity of this person is hilarious, but still, while I get that the vagueness here is for dramatic effect, it makes it sound like there's just a disembodied voice suddenly. Which I don't think was the goal.

"Who are you?” She was angry. “Are you my father?” “No…” said the voice mysteriously, “I am Sesshomaru. Inuyasha’s brother. The vampire lord.”

Good GOD that will never not be funny. He is NOT a vampire.

Also, Sesshomaru is Inuyasha's half brother.

Reicheru gasped in terror. Sesshomaru had died- she could have sworn that he died! It was a long, long time ago. Inuyasha had gotten in a fight with Sesshomaru over the death of their mother and Inuyasha had stabbed him in the heart. That moment, he died and tumbled off the cliff into the abyss of the ocean. The only way he could come back is if he was a vampire, who had been bitten by someone. But who?

Yeah, so. Straight up not what happened. I won't spoil, but I will say that Inuyasha and Sesshomaru share a father, not a mother, so this is even funnier. Glossing over that, let's move on.

“Reicheru,” he said, “I don’t know why you protected my brother,” 

Out of the kindness of her heart.

his firey eyes flashed, “but you can’t stand between me and him anymore. I must kill him. I have to kill him- for the sake of our mother!”

The mother you do not share. So, moot point.

“He LOVED your mother! He couldn’t help what happened! He was only a baby, why are you holding onto a grudge that you don’t need to?”

His mother, but-

Nevermind, I give up.

“She always loved him. Father didn’t care about me…he just didn’t care. That doesn’t matter! Anyway, it’s time for you to be rid of!” Then, out of nowhere, Inuyasha and Kagome flew out of the shadows and picked Reicheru up.

Ah, another teleportation moment. Good.

“Hey,” she shouted, “I can take care of myself! I don’t need you to help me.”

Well, seeing as he was about to kill you for kind of no reason, you should be thankful for their apparent ability to teleport.

“Yes, you do,” Inuyasha looked at her, “I’m here to protect you…” Her cheeks turned red

and as she looked away she saw Kagome try to slash Sesshomaru in half.

Ah yes, back to the action.

Very suddenly.

“Damn,” Kagome screamed, “he’s too hard to defeat! What should I do?” Her skirt flew in the air.

Okay. Unnecessary detail. Also, it's really funny to me that she tried to strike him seemingly once and decided that she was done with that. She got tired, I guess.

Inuyasha joined the battle and all three of them went at it like rabbid

Rabid**

 dogs. Blood sprayed the room crimson. Reicheru licked the wall like a hungry devil, slurping up the mixture of their blood.

That's a good way to get a bloodborne illness. Or a... wallbourne illness.

Maybe just don't lick walls.

Sesshomaru threw his arm out and slammed Kagome against the wall, knocking her out. He flew away with her into the night, and they weren’t seen after that.

It still upsets me how Kagome was written off so quickly in a way that not only makes no sense but is also just very weird.

“Oh my god, Kagome!!” Inuyasha cried into the night. He howled in sorrow and remorse.

Inuyasha would stop at nothing to get her back. Just saying.

“It’s okay Inu-Sama,” Reicheru comforted him, “I’m sure she’ll be fine.” “No, Rei, you don’t understand. He is a lord of vampires- she’s one of them now.” He gently put his hand up to his teary eyes.

Just.

Go get her. Go after her. Please.

Their golden eyes met, “one of them? Like a vampire?”

No, like a gargoyle. Duh.

“Yes, Rei.” Reicheru and Inuyasha went back to the village.

That's it, they just give up on Kagome.

There's been a kidnapping!

Anyway, I wonder what's for dinner.

 Denmark was standing by himself at the market, eating a Danish.

Again, I said it in the review of chapter one, but for anyone who doesn't know anything about Hetalia, this just sounds like he's eating a person.

Also, funnily enough, Danishes, as in the pastry, actually originated from Austria and not Denmark. Little interesting factoid.

Reicheru departed from Inuyasha, wishing him luck, and then going to Denmark. “Things aren’t looking good, Denny-Kun.” She sighed and fell into his arms. “I missed you, so much, baby. I’m glad to see you back in one piece.

So, that's all he's gonna say? His girlfriend got kidnapped, seemingly vanished out of their bed in the middle of the night, and this motherfucker didn't go to the police, didn't try and find her? No, he just. Stood in a random market, eating a pastry.

That is so funny. His nonchalance regarding his girlfriend's mysterious disappearance is just chef's kiss.

When I woke up and found you gone, I was scared. I thought that your dad had gotten to you.”

Yeah, and you just decided the best course of action was not to panic, but to eat a pastry. Boyfriend of the year.

“No, no.” Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him. “We have bigger problems on our hands, now. Sesshomaru the Vampire Lord is black."

Back**

Good god, SPELL CHECK IS IMPORTANT. This just makes it sound like Reicheru is being racist as hell instead of shocked about Sesshomaru's reappearance.

He wants to kill me for protecting Inuyasha.” “I don’t want to protecting him,” his golden hair blew in the wind, 

This is still such a mindfuck, because not only do Inuyasha and Sesshomaru not share a mother, meaning Sesshomaru has no reason to be angry, it is also never elaborated on how Reicheru actually 'protected' Inuyasha from anything. To this day, I still have no earthly idea what the backstory there is. It's clearly not rooted in canon, because the brief description we did get doesn't make any sense anywhere. So, we're just left to wonder what the hell is going on there, like we are with a lot of this story.

Also, I just glanced back up at the indented passage and realized Denmark said "I don't want to protecting him" which not only makes it sound like Denmark is doing the protecting, but also makes him sound illiterate.

“I love you, Rei-Kun,

Chan** if you wanna do that, because 'kun' is an honorific for boys, and Reicheru is not a boy, but I digress and also nobody is listening to me.

but you spend too much time with your tutor. Please, I beg of you, forget about Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, find someone new to teach you how to fight. Infact, I know the perfect tutor.”

Okay, let's forget about the kidnapping that happened right in front of her, too, I guess.

That's the very abrupt end to the chapter, so we'll go on to chapter 4 of this. I'm having fun.

~ Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Blood Raining Night (Ch.2) - The Re-Review

(Kat)

I'm ready to do this. I'm here for the absurdity and hysterics.

Reicheru got home, it took a while for the impact of her father comming

Coming*

 back to soke

Soak**

Oh, the spelling. Still so painful.

in. She was hot red with anger and sadness. 

Okay, I get that this is figurative, but I'm imagining her just being bright red all over while sobbing, and that's a really funny mental image.

Also, I think it would shock anyone if their until recently thought to be dead father returned to try and kill them.

She decided to train in the garden with her teacher Inuyasha.

Oh, fuck I can't believe I forgot he was in this. That was such a jumpscare.

He wasn’t full cat demon like Reicheru,

Yes, because he's half dog demon. That's it. .

They both had fangs and sharp animal-like eyes. And in those eyes were a hint of love for Rei.

Their romance, if you can even call it that, is the most irritating thing. I love Inuyasha, it's a great series, a work of art. I really hate that it was brought into this.

“Rei-Chan,” he said, “I’ve been waiting a long time for you. How did the battle go?” “My dead father…he is back!” Her face collapsed in her hands and she nearly cried.

Number one, the honorifics hurt me.

Number two, her face 'collapsing in her hands' is horrifying. What the fuck.

“How can he be back? He’s dead!”

Wrong! He's back, hope this helps.

“NO! He’s BACK! I don’t know what to do. Maybe I can get our master of the Yakuza to kill him.”

This is never done in the entirety of this piece of 'literature.'

She had a tear roll down the side of her sad cheeks.

Ah yes, a singular tear rolled down both of her cheeks at the same time. As it does.

 Her and Inuyasha both work for the Yazuka and she thought he might be able to frame her dad.

I sincerely doubt that Inuyasha would ever associate himself with organized crime, and the concept alone of him doing that makes me laugh, but okay.

Also, frame him for what? We haven't exactly been made aware of what he did, aside from be a bad father. Did he murder someone? I honestly forgot about what he was all about, aside from being evil and mean in the shadows.

“I don’t know if that’d be allowed…” His ears twitched. “Then I will have to kill him myself…” Her eyes turned red with madness, like blood on fire.

I can't, I can't take it seriously.

'Red with madness, like blood on fire.'

That's so weird.

Inuyasha didn’t want her to get hurt, He couldn’t tell her, though. Because he didn’t want her to know his feelings for him.

Yes, because he has feelings for her and not for the girl he canonically marries and has a daughter with. Cool. Glad we're on the same page.

“Please,” he said, “dont’ go! He’ll KILL you!” She looked at him bravely, “I’ll be fine.”

The emotional whiplash. She was crying like five seconds ago.

That night she went home. Denmark was sitting on the couch next to the fire. He was reading a book very intensely. 

This sentence is hilarious. That's all, that's the commentary. The mental image of him reading a book 'very intensely' is very funny. That's all, thank you.

“I see you’re home, Rei-kun.” “Yeah, I’m home, Denny-kun. Nyaa”

One, maybe I'm nitpicking, but 'kun' is not a female honorific. It would not be used for Reicheru. Also, why did she meow? You know what, don't worry about it.

She sighed. “I saw you talking to Inuyasha. I think you should get a different tutor, like Kagome or Germany. 

The whiplash I got from the difference between those two characters is really just. There.

Also, he's rightfully jealous, because I know what happens next.

They’re both so good with wars and fighting!”

Both important things to be good at.

“Why, are you jealous?

He clearly is.

You don’t have to be, I swear. I’d never cheat on you, I love you.”

Okay girl.

Their eyes told each other that something was wrong, but they both ignored it.

Lack of communication. Interesting.

They decided to just go to bed instead of saying anything. The cuddled together- and did some other stuff-

Great. Thanks for letting me know.

then they fell asleep. And as they slept, her dad was watching. 

So creepy, but that makes me laugh so hard. He's just there. I guess his dentist appointment ended early.

I'll be onto chapter 3 next. Bye.

~ Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Blood Raining Night (Ch.1) - The Re-Review

(Kat)

So. Hello.

I reviewed the first chapter of Blood Raining Night nearly ten entire years ago, in 2015, when I was 13 years old and in the 8th grade. I am now 22, and a senior in college. Time really flies.

I've thought on and off about doing this for a while now, but I've just finished my finals for the semester, and I have nothing to do, so with my bottle of vodka in hand, because I am indeed old enough to drink now, I thought I'd give this a crack. Could be fun. Could ruin my life. Will anyone even read this? I don't know, nor do I care. There is no better reason for me to be doing this aside from the fact that I want to. I'm about to go on the last Christmas break of my academic career, class tomorrow is optional, and away we go.

Let's get funky.

The sky was blue out.

Ah. yes. The classic line. It stays with me. I think about this first line quite a lot because what a line it is. Is it grammatically correct? No. I could get all writer on it and explain why, but for now I'll just say, 'just look at it.'

Moving on.

Reicheru had just opened her golden eyes to the morning like she has for the past 17 years of her life.

I remember making a comment about her eye color here, but with age brings wisdom, I suppose, because while I don't really care about her eye color, the most troubling thing now here is her name, which still makes me snicker to this day. It's literally just the name 'Rachel' spelled out in a Japanese way. I'm betting my bottom dollar that's the original creator of BRN's real name.

She grogily

Groggily**

Yes, I will still be correcting any and all spelling mistakes and general errors, try and stop me.

rubbed her hands on her eyelids and rolled over. She was staring Denmark in the face or as she calls him “Denny.”

Still so fucking funny that she's randomly dating Denmark from Hetalia. Also, the fact that this has no context at all makes it even funnier because for anyone who has never heard of or seen Hetalia, this bit would be completely fucking wild. It would just sound like she was staring at an entire country that she has nicknamed 'Denny.' I mentioned something about a giant TV in the sky being used to look at the entire country of Denmark in my original review, and I think that still holds up.

Also, Denny's. This makes me think of the restraunt.

Also, his human name is Mathias, why is that not even acknowledged? That is also really funny.

“Denny-Kuuuun,”

I may have blocked out how horribly written this dialogue is. Because that just.

Pain. It hurt.

she spoke softly like floating butterflies on the breeze “good morning. I’ve missed you in my sleep.”

Oh lord above, give me strength. I'm already resorting to prayers. I'm a writer myself, and all the ways I'd rewrite this- I remember years ago I showed my father a passage from BRN, specifically from the first chapter, asking him what he'd do/what he thought (he's a writer, master's degree in writing) and he told me it made him 'immediately want to start editing.' And yeah, that's so real.

“I’ve missed you too.” He took his hand and ran it down to the tip of her soft furry ear. Her ear twitched with delight!

The unnecessary exclamation point cracks me up. It's so needlessly gung-ho about her cat ears. They're also so sickeningly sweet that it's going to give me cavities.

“I get worried about you sometimes, though.” “Really?” Her golden eyes lit up like a light in a lamp on a dark night.

So, there's a name for this I've discovered, and that name is purple prose. It's writing that is so needlessly flowery when a scene does not call for it. It's not a bad simile, per se, but it's very out of place, maybe. A bit too grandiose.

Actually, the more I look at it, it's redundant. 'Lit up' followed by 'like a light in a lamp' is redundant since we obviously know-

Nevermind. Moving on.

“Yes of course!! You work for the Yakuza, how else am I suppose to feel?”

What I said in my original review still rings true here.

I’ll bet the author thought; Hmmm. How can I take this genuinely sweet moment and make my readers gloriously uncomfortable? Ooh! I know! The Japanese mafia!

Anyway.

Her eyes gazed downward like as if trying to see something on the floor, “it’s good to know there’s actually someone who cares about my existence.”

Oh right. She's an edgelord. Toxic behavior. Break up with her, Denmark.

Also, I need to say something about how the description of what she was doing came before the quotations, which bothers me. But whatever.

“I love you with all my heart, Rei-kun.” “Nya~! You do, I know you do. I love you, Denny-Kun.” Reicheru purred. They kissed passionately like a woman and man that haven’t seen each other for forty years but have loved each other all that time.

This honestly makes me crave death. There's a way to write romantic, touching scenes but this is not it.

She wanted to drink his blood, really really bad.

Right, I forgot about that part. She's a vampire. I guess that's one of the parts I blocked out.

But, she couldn’t, for if she were to suck the life juices out of him, it would turn him into a demon-vampire.

Because obviously the two aren't mutually exclsuive.

Of course, she would never let anything bad happen to him. He was the love of her life, and her only love.

Yeah, that lasts about two chapters.

If you're new here, buckle up.

Reicheru dressed in her outfit she wore to the Yakuza and got ready for work. She wore a white school-girls outfit that had long sleeves, a red ribbon around her neck, red trimming that went on her sleeves, a red skirt, her brown hair tied up in a red ribbon –red as blood, and a big gun. Her long brown hair with blue highlights in the middle swayed in the breeze so beautifully, she could almost kill someone with her looks.Her lipswere

Lips were**

Also, it still gets me to this day that this is her uniform for a Japanese crime syndicate. Wild.

Also also, the phrase 'looks could kill' doesn't mean that.

really red, but she didn’t need lipstick.

Does she have a rash? Are her lips chapped? I'm concerned.

Sheexpected she would have a tough assignment today.

She expected**

Is the author's spell check/spacebar broken?

Anyway, so Reichiru decides that saying goodbye to loved ones is for dorks, as our next section is suddenly outside.

Reicheru was out, prowling in the woods when she heard a certain cackling! It was a witch!!

And she knows this for sure with no doubt whatsoever.

“OOhhh,” the witch said in a nasty voice, like you’re eating something slimy, "I see there’s a girl out to get me, and she thinks she’s prettier than me, eh?”

I can't take it seriously, I can't. The wording, the dialogue, the similes. They hit me right in the giggledick.

“Well,” Reicheru smiled, “you are old and ugly, and I’m assigned to kill you. This will be the last time you fight me! Nya~on!”

Rude as hell. Also, weak ass catchphrase.

Reicheru ran toward the hag, her breasts delecately bouncing in the wind.

My sister and I quote this goddamn line so often because it is so fucking funny. The random insertion of her breast size, the way breasts don't fucking do that, it's all just chef's kiss. Masterpiece.

The witch took out a staff and tried to smite her, but fell short when Reicheru suddenly disappeared and re-appeared behind her.

Oh, we love a good teleportation moment.

I can't stop snickering.

“I told you not to mess with me!” She said slitting the witche’s throat open.

Witch's*

In the extensive description of her outfit from before, it included 'a big gun' in her arsenal, but nothing else. So, I can only assume that she slit the witch's throat with her gun, which is arguably funnier than assuming she has a knife stowed away somewhere.

She put her lips to the wrinkly neck and sucked on it, really really hard.

Kinky.

The blood came pouring into her mouth like a waterfall of gore and violence.

Nevermind. Eugh.

Unless...?

She was going home after having killed the witch when she heard an unusual noise coming from the bushes.

That's vague enough that this 'unusual noise' could be literally anything, so I'm gonna say it's the sound of a clown horn, just for fun.

He said, “I’ve come back for you.”

Again, this is extremely vague, and 'he' could be Barack Obama for all I know. And I'm saying it is. For fun.

Reicheru was astonished “father?!” she yelped. “You’re supposed to be dead, why did you come back? Why did you have to come back.” Tears of pain and darkness rolled down her eyes as her worst nightmare stepped towards her.

'Tears of pain and darkness,' so what are her normal tears made of? I guess we'll find out. Also this is made better by the fact that I know who her actual father is, and this entire story is made even more hysterically funny by his identity.

“I’m undefeatable, bitch.

I love this sentence. I love it. That's all. I will be saying it on a daily basis. Thank you.

You had your chance years and years ago, but you failed. Now I’m back to get you.”

The vagueness of all of this makes it funnier. Based on what I've filled in for fun, her father is Barack Obama who has come back to kill her. Incredible. Pulitzer Prize worthy.

“You don’t want to fight me, father!” She drew out her long, bloody sword and looked at him in a cruel way.

Oh, I see, yes, another weapon that was not mentioned before. Is this what killed the witch or is this yet another weapon she apparently has stored in her magical cleavage compartment, as my 13-year-old self so eloquently called it.

“I haven’t come to kill you right now, but some day. Beware.” With that, he threw a smoke bomb at her and disappeared.”

He'd really like to kill her, but he has a dentist appointment.

This whole thing is just going to be bouts of hysterical laughter followed by shock because while I know this fic is supposed to be taken seriously, because I interacted with the author way back when Deviantart was a thing that people still used regularly, and she took herself extremely seriously, it's absolute comedic genius. I mean, it's bad, but it's so bad it's hilarious. One of my favorite things of all time. I hope she sees this, I think we'd be great friends.

I will be reviewing chapter 2 immediately, thank you very much. Bye.

~ Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Hi, I'm back. I'm having a bit of trouble with Iowa and how to put her appearance. I placed her birth 1788, but I'm doubting myself because all of the sources have said 1833. Can you help me?

Hi!

I have absolutely no idea how late this is, my inbox doesn't timestamp my messages. Anyway, I am actually from Iowa. I was born in the state, currently live in the state, and grew up there, except for a short spell when I was a child and lived in Alaska for a few years before moving back to Iowa, to the same town I was born in. I again have no idea if I already mentioned this.

Enough of my yapping. More information under the cut.

1788 was the year the first settlement was established in the city of Dubuque, which is about two and a half hours from the small town I grew up in, believe it or not. I'm from roughly an hour from Des Moines. 1833 was the date of the Black Hawk Purchase, which was basically when white people fought a war against the Native Americans in the area and when those tribes lost, they had their land stolen. The war was called the Black Hawk war, and as such, the purchase was named after that. Cheerful, I know.

The state itself was acquired in the Louisiana Purchase in 1803 but didn't officially become a state until December 28th, 1846. This gap came from Native claims over the state, where tribes didn't want to give up their ancestral land, which I don't blame them for. I personally would make that date in 1846 her birthday, since it's the actual date of statehood, but I can see why you would be a little confused since there are multiple dates that would work for this purpose. The date of the Black Hawk Purchase would also work just as well, and that date is June 1st, 1833, when the ratified treaty went into effect. Your choices are December 28th, 1846, and June 1st, 1833, though I'd suspect that Iowa would end up being older since, even before white settlers arrived and sole their land, Native peoples had been residing on the land for thousands of years.

As for appearance, I can weigh into that. I'm a first generation Iowan, meaning both myself and my younger sister were born in the state, but our parents are from elsewhere. My father is from Ohio, my mother is from Maryland, but as someone who has lived here all her life, I can weigh in on how many people look here.

The largest ethnic majority is, no surprise, white people. Iowa is a largely rural state, with agriculture being one of the biggest parts of our economy, if not the biggest. We literally have more pigs than people living here, and a fuckton of farmland. I suppose my ethnic background doesn't count since my parents are from elsewhere (I'm Irish, French, and Italian, if you're curious), but we have a lot of people of German and Dutch descent here. If you wanna see the biggest Dutch population in the state, go to Pella. They have a literal tulip festival every year in the spring, one which I've grown up attending. They have a fantastic bakery there, called Jaarsma. Their ice cream is also great. There's also a surprising amount of people of Norwegian and Irish descent here. In other words, we have a lot of people with light hair, often straight or wavy, with light eyes.

I hope this helps, even if it's however late it is. Sorry about that, I'm a senior in college and it's hard to find time to do much.

~ Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Am I the only one who hate, hate, HATES when people ship Scotland/Ireland/Wales OCs with England and/or give them the last name 'Kirkland'?

you are not. I hate this, too.

Because wouldn’t the surname being the same imply that that they’re siblings? I dunno, doesn’t sit right with me.

[ohnohetaliasues]

Remember the ask about my American state OCs I sent about 5 months ago? You probably don't, but you can forget about that. I've changed my characters, specifically their names. I might send in their names as well as the Canadian provinces and Mexican states. It'll probably be just their names. Anyway, with the Mexican states, do all of them have to be Hispanic or can they be like different races like Native and White?

hey, no, I remember, don’t worry. Sorry this is late!

I’d say do research on the origins of each state and base their ethnicity off of that. I’d imagine white hispanic/white and native would probably be in there, though I’m not the leading expert on Mexican history, so feel more than free to correct me.

[ohnohetaliasues]

That's fine! I'll try and fix up at least Siobhan's bio and send it in some time tomorrow!

Sure go for it.

[ohnohetaliasues]

I've actually got quite a few but my main ones are my Florida twins (North + South, Mariposa + Felipe Rodriguez), and my Ireland (Siobhan O'Brien)! I've actually had Mariposa and Siobhan practically since joining the fandom, I just haven't updated their bios in a hot minute. orz Most of my OCs actually come from roleplays with my fiancee and friends!

I see! No guarantee I’ll actually review them, I barely really review OCs as much anymore. I started this blog when I was 12 or 13, and I’m 21 now, haha. I still do the occasional review, but I wouldn’t say I’m the leading expert on Hetalia OCs as much as I was when I was younger.

[ohnohetaliasues]

Sorry if I get annoying, I'm just excited to have someone to talk to. ;w;/ I kinda want to submit one or two of my ocs for review.

Oh? What kind of OCs? I’d be happy to review some old ones.

Also, you’re not at all annoying. This isn’t one of my more active blogs, so it’s nice to see someone giving it some love.

[ohnohetaliasues]

also, I'm looking through your blog, and as someone who's been in the fandom since 2010, I love it ;v;/ ahh, the nostalgia of making your very first crappy APH sue...

Aha yes, I’ve been around for a good long while ideed. Glad to have you on the blog, friend.

[ohnohetaliasues]

oh my goodness, that explains why my friend linked me to this blog. XD I'm the 'Yuki' in that ask.

Ahhh hello!

[ohnohetaliasues]

So there used to be this Florida OC that was paired with RUSSIA of all characters. And all I really remember about it was that she was made using MMD/MikuMikuDance, she had an ask blog, and my friend Yuki (pseudonym, obv) was SO MAD about it because she's native Floridian. Just thought I'd share that with y'all. X^D

That’s hilarious, omg.

Why Russia? That’s baffling.

[ohnohetaliasues]

Did you see my ask? I just wanna know you got it. You're probably busy which might be why you haven't gotten to it. I'm just really impatient and it's been a week

Sorry, yes, I got it. It’s just a lot of information, and I’ve had to work. Plus I had my birthday yesterday, so I was busy with that. I’ll get to it eventually, you’ll just have to be patient.

— Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Confederate States of America (APH OC)

This was brought to my attention by the same person who brought the Milky Way OC to my attention, so a shout out to them.

NGL, I’m not excited about this one. 

Possible trigger warning for racism? I dunno, but this is an OC of the literal Confederacy, so I wouldn’t be surprised. That being said, racism pisses me off, as it should anyone, so I may get a little heated. 

"Don't think you're so much better than me, North. Someday you'll acknowledge me, too!"

...There’s a lot to unpack there, but we’re just... gonna throw away the whole suitcase.

Confederacy (コンフェッデラシー, Konfedderashī) is a fan-made character for the anime and manga series: Hetalia representing the Confederate States of America. His human name is Alexander S. Jones, usually shortened to "Alex."

Okay, I guess that’s fine. I don’t really have any qualms with the name, but the actual existence of this OC is another story. Bear with me, it’s history rant time. Also, a minor history lesson, for my foreign readers who don’t know much about American history, brought to you by a girl who went through the U.S. school system.

First of all, I don’t think the American Civil War was ever touched on in Canon Hetalia, but I found a discussion on Reddit about this topic that said that a new country would probably be created upon the rebellion, since the Confederacy was supposed to be an entirely new country. However, when the Union was victorious over the Confederacy, the states making up the Confederacy were reabsorbed by the North. So, by that logic, whoever represented the Confederacy would have probably died since they had nothing left to represent. 

Now, the topic of Prussia could be brought up here, but he’s slightly different. First of all, Prussia was an actual nation with a history. Prussia was officially called The Kingdom of Prussia, and was one of the main precursors leading to the establishment of the actual nation of Germany. Its culture, history, and land still exist, though the land is now a part of Germany. It makes sense that Prussia still exists, since he appears to represent this important period in German history, but also because Germany still recognizes him as a country, and he lives with him. 

There’s also the topic of The Iron Curtain, and how it’s widely accepted that Prussia represented the East, since he often calls Germany ‘West.’ That’s another reason why he still exists. In addition to representing the history of his former nation, he also holds some representation of East Germany.

The Confederacy, however, was never recognized. It was a group of states who wanted to keep slaves around, partially because their economies were largely dependent on the commerce and goods that slave labor brought. They also thought white people were superior and didn’t want to share their rights with the freed slaves because they felt threatened by that. It was really mostly that, they were just really fucking racist. When the Confederacy was dissolved, that was it. Gone. It didn’t exist anymore. There’s no reason for a representation of the Confederacy to still exist, as it does not represent a period in history or still existing piece of land in the same way Prussia does. The Confederacy doesn’t even have a history to represent that isn’t a dark period of hatred and racism. 

Anyway, my point is made, back to the review.

He is the younger brother to the United States and is referred to as "South" by other nations (as he is an unrecognized nation).

As I said, he’s also just not a nation. He wasn’t even recognized when the Confederacy rebelled back during the Civil War. The states that rebelled were referred to as ‘Rebels’ for a reason. I learned this in history class. 

Germany recognizes Prussia as a nation. I doubt America recognizes the Confederacy as one. He sure as hell didn’t during the Civil War.

He considers his birthday February 8th, the date the Provisional Constitution of the Confederate States of America was proclaimed, though he had lived with America before then.

Why? There’s no reason for him to have even existed before the Civil War. There just isn’t. The Confederacy didn’t exist before 1860-1861(ish).

I say ‘ish’ because the 11 states that made up the Confederacy all seceded at different points in time, but the first state to secede, South Carolina, did so on December 20th of 1860, following the election of President Abraham Lincoln. The rest of the states seceded over the course of the next six months, all in 1861. They were never recognized as a sovereign nation.

Confederate States Information:

Nation:

Confederate States of America (1861-1865), Southern United States (1787-Present)

No. As I said, the southern states that rebelled rejoined the northern United States after the defeat of the Confederacy. There is no reason for this at all. 

Also, why in the fuck has he existed since 1787? That was when the constitution was ratified, but at that time, there were no southern states in existence, just the original thirteen colonies. Well. Sort of. There were really only three official states at this time, and those were Delaware, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey, all founded in December of 1787.

The first southern states to be declared actual states were states like Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia, all of which were founded in 1788. Regardless, why would these states need a separate representation when Alfred F. Jones already existed as the representation of America? It just seems rather redundant. 

Human Name:

Alexander S. Jones

Age:

About 300

That would be wrong, though. 1787 was 235 years ago, and even then, that would make him weirdly younger than America, if he has existed for as long as he has for whatever reason. I don’t understand, Alfred originally was the representation for the thirteen British colonies, hence why he’s often considered England’s younger brother. Why would Alexander even need to exist?? 

Birthday:

February 8th (Provisional Constitution of the Confederate States)

Why not the date the first Confederate state succeed, December 20th?

Height:

6’1”

I don’t really have a problem with that, but he’s weirdly taller than America, who is 5′9.”

I just realized America is only two inches taller than me. That’s kinda wild. But, I’m also just a tall young woman. I’m taller than a lot of people.

Weight:

170lbs

Languages:

Various - primarily English

List those various languages. He could speak Klingon for all I know.

Current Residence:

Charleston, South Carolina

Governments:

Confederation Republic (1861-1865), Federal Republic (1787-Present)

There’s a contradiction there. By this information, he used the federal government used by the United States while also using the Confederate’s government simultaneously. So that’s interesting. 

Religions:

Catholic, Evangelical, Methodist, Baptist. In the modern day he has developed significant non-Christian populations.

So he has several religions?? Those are all Christian denominations, so it would probably just be easier to say Christian with varying beliefs. I could call myself that as well, minus the Evangelical bit, because I believe in human rights, but we’re not here to talk about my religious beliefs. We’re here to tear apart this questionable OC.

Contents

Appearance Basic Bio Family Relationships and History Trivia Pages of Interest America England and France

Oh, let’s hope some research has been done. It’s clear a base level of research has been done, because there are some dates that do match up with history, but a lot of this is full of interesting holes. Let’s see if that continues.

Appearance

A young man with blonde hair and gray-blue eyes; he had a love of fancy uniforms in his younger days, but now dresses in the same "modern" style as the rest of the country. He had longer hair in his youth, but since his decimation by the North has now cut it. His current image still seems a little privileged, but he has a reputation as a redneck and hard worker as well.

Okay, so, the grey-blue eyes bit is interesting, because of the colors of the Union and Confederacy uniforms, grey and blue respectively, so that’s a nice bit of representation, I suppose. Apart from that, why did he have longer hair? I can’t find any supporting information regarding hairstyles in the Confederacy, but men usually wore their hair short back then, if I remember correctly. I suppose the most I have to say about that is a little bit of nitpicking.

I don’t care much about the hard working bit, that’s fine. That’s just a character trait that could be said about many characters in Hetalia. The redneck bit is what I wanna talk about. I am not from the South, I am from the Midwest, but let me tell you, since I’m from farm country (Iowa), we have rednecks up here as well. My point is, something that rednecks from here and the South have in common is one thing in particular: racism. ‘Redneck’ is a word often used interchangeably with racial intolerance. I know not all people who do farm work are racist, but I can’t really think of anyone who could be described as a redneck that isn’t conservative as all hell.

So that’s just a really fancy way of saying your OC is a racist asshole. Good to know.

Basic Bio

He was a conflicted young nation whose peoples seemed unable to get along. In his early years, he housed large plantation owners as well as "small" slave owners, independent farmers, slaves, free blacks and Northern immigrants.

Northern as in Canadian? Because if someone moves from one state to another while still remaining in the same country, that doesn’t make them an immigrant.

Since he housed so many peoples, he often disagreed with the minority, whites-only government - and with himself - suffering breakdowns from internal divisions and his constituent states' desire for independent government. Despite his polite debutante manner, he has a prideful (and sometimes rebellious) streak and can't stand the idea of North (USA) dictating what he does.

Okay. But that isn’t what the Confederacy stood for. The Confederacy was a white supremacist group, primarily. They believed white people were superior to black people. That was their literal ideology. It was centrally based "upon the great truth that the black man is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and normal condition." 

According to a historian, “The statesmen who led the secession movement were unashamed to explicitly cite the defense of slavery as their prime motive. Acknowledging the centrality of slavery to the Confederacy is essential for understanding the Confederate.”

That was the ideology of the Confederacy. It wasn’t just the South wanting to have independence because they were rebellious and didn’t want to be controlled. They wanted independence because they didn’t want their slaves taken away, and Lincoln was going to do that. Their motivations were self-serving and racist. Hell, the Confederate Constitution was full of racist rhetoric. 

But ‘oh, no, he didn’t agree with everything his people, the ones he’s supposed to represent, believe. Only the good parts.’ Sorry, but you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. That period of history was horrific, and you can’t just gloss over the atrocities committed by the Confederacy towards Black people by saying “he didn’t agree with everything and suffered breakdowns over conflicting thoughts.”

Also, it was not a minority of people who believed that. There was a rise in Southern nationalism in the lead up to the war, and they unanimously supported a pro slavery presidential candidate. This character description is trying to put a time in history that should not be viewed with sympathy into a sympathetic light. It is downplaying the actual horrible beliefs the Confederacy had, and that frankly disgusts me.

Alex isn't intentionally cruel, unlike some of his people, and feels the pain of the slaves and a select few abolitionists. In many cases, he genuinely tries to relieve their suffering. However, he did have the same paternalistic attitude towards blacks as the wealthy white population - the same idea that they must work hard to be "saved." After the war, he learned - though slower than North would‘ve liked.

My jaw literally dropped. Nobody should have to work to be saved. That should go without saying. How in the fuck is that a ‘paternalistic attitude?’ I literally have nothing to say to that other than ‘what the fuck?’

For his pride, he usually holds on to the views of his more historically-minded peoples or tries to stay neutral, though he is often unable to suppress the pains of the large minorities. He is soft-spoken in general, 

I-- Have you ever met a redneck? They’re not really known for being very quiet.

though every bit as opinionated as his brother - he is annoyed by Yankees in general and refuses to truly pay attention to what they say. Though he was a spoiled southern gentleman before the Civil War, he toughened up during Reconstruction after losing the war. Now, he can't get enough of fried foods and has something of a redneck reputation.

I mean, the south is famous for comfort food, so I guess that makes sense. But again, the redneck bit is just saying he has a reputation of being a racist.

He is still bitter about the Civil War and North's claims to “superior morality”,

Excuse me? The idea that people shouldn’t be enslaved is very much superior to the idea that they should be. I hate this guy.

and has developed something of a preservationist complex that North is quick to dismiss and is attempting to destroy. 

If this is about the removal of monuments of Confederate leaders such as Robert E. Lee, then yeah, those should be taken down. They glorify these men who stood for such racist things, and while they’re a part of history for sure, we don’t see monuments of Adolf Hitler standing, do we? He was a part of history. But we don’t glorify him. After the Nazi party was defeated, every trace of them was destroyed. Flags were torn down, as were statues and monuments, because A) that government no longer existed, and B) they stood for such hateful things. Nobody wanted them standing anymore. 

The statues in the South that were removed were long overdue for removal, if you ask me.

Even now he feels some sectionalist loyalties and is more religious and conservative than the rest of the US.

Okay. So he is racist. I bet he doesn’t like trans people either. Damn those gays. Think of the children.

Because Alfred refused to acknowledge Alex as a separate country, America (and most other countries) has always called him "South." Alex refers to him as "North."

If I were Alfred, I’d call him ‘that guy who I thought died in that war.’

Because he should have.

Family Relationships and History

America

Alex’s older brother, with whom ha has a long and complicated relationship. Though the two have tried for a long time to reconcile their views, expansion into the West (amongst other things) brought the tensions between the two to the boiling point. 

That is not what triggered the Civil War. Lincoln’s election was the tipping point.

Even after secession, Alex occasionally wished to return to the Union - even modeling his first flag after that of the USA somewhat.

There are still regional tensions between the two, but Alex has accepted their existence as a Union.

I mean, I suppose, if you’re talking about the first Confederate flag. We should probably mention that the second flag of the Confederacy has turned into a symbol of racism, because that was what it was when the Confederacy existed. I don’t think the southern states were remorseful. 

England and France

Alex sought diplomatic recognition from these two leading powers by leveraging his cotton supply, but did not receive any. England switched to cotton supplies in Egypt and India and suffered a recession, but was glad to escape the political entanglements of recognizing the Confederacy. France had considerably more problems in refusing, but withstood them well enough.

France had no problems refusing. At all. The British had so much cotton from India and Egypt that they were exporting it to the French. The French straight up didn’t need the cotton from the Confederacy.

Let’s also note that the Confederacy failed miserably with any sort of diplomacy with France or England, as it tried to send diplomats to London and Paris and was then intercepted by the US Navy and forcibly sent back to Boston.

I must also note that some British and French politicians and monarchs expressed interest in recognizing the Confederacy, in order to at least mediate the war, but decided not to. They weren’t completely disconnected. 

Although England had already abolished slavery and maintained neutrality, he wished the Confederacy luck in reconciling with America and advised him to go home, remembering the days of his own struggle with America.

The hell he did. The British were firmly anti-slavery, and even deployed the Royal Navy to patrol the oceans in order to stop slaving ships. England was not neutral in all of this, and supported the North. The British also started an anti-slavery convention in 1840, and abolitionists did speeches across the UK regarding the realities of American slavery. It was largely regarded as shameful and horrific. I’d imagine England would’ve sent him home in disgust rather than goodwill after learning what he was doing, at least going off of what historically actually happened regarding the spectacular failure of the Confederacy’s diplomatic attempts.

Trivia

He was in a coma during the military rule in the Reconstruction years, when the South had virtually no political power.

It would make more sense if he’d just died. I mean, Rome supposedly died after the fall of the Roman Empire in canon Hetalia. 

His human name, is based on the way he fought for his people, it means Protector of Men.

You mean the way he fought for a racist ideology?

He is annoyed by Northerners - and the many Southerners - who don't recognize the "real" Confederate flag (see the link below).

Okay. There was the first Confederate flag, which looked like this:

I believe this is the one being referred to as the ‘real’ Confederate flag.

The one that looks like a blue x on a red background is the second iteration of the flag. It is just as much the Confederate flag as this one is, it’s just more well known. It is also more tightly associated with racist symbolism.

He loves jazz, blues, hard rock, country rock, bluegrass, and old country music (none of this newer country).

Hysterical to me that despite how racist he is, his favorite types of music are mostly music genres pioneered by black people. Then again, a lot of this originated from songs sung by slaves, so in a weird way that makes sense.

During the War for Southern Independence (as he knows it), he wore a simple officer’s uniform without rank on it but was quite the renowned sharpshooter.

Okay. It was not a war of independence. Let’s call a spade a spade. It was a war to keep slaves. That was literally what the leaders of the Confederacy said it was. That was the motivation. God, the point was missed by so much distance that you may as well have landed on the moon. I don’t think this person ever payed attention in history class, because the only way someone could be this goddamn ignorant is if that was the case. 

Or they’re just trying to excuse their racist beliefs. That could also be possible.

Yikes. Just. Yikes.

This OC does not need to exist. Genuinely, it doesn’t. The complete misunderstanding of history was shocking and enraging, and just... bad. Bad is a good word. The casual, blasé racism, the fact that Alfred already represents the land he’s supposed to stand for. He’s a redundancy that doesn’t need to be here. I didn’t know such an insensitive character could exist, but here we are. 

Yikes. That is all. Just yikes.

- Kat

[ohnohetaliasues]

Milky Way (APH OC)

At the request of @ilovemaryland345 I’ll be taking a look at a few OCs that they recommended to me. This is one of them. The other is the Confederate States, which I just hope is not as racist as it sounds.

Anyway, let’s get funky. 

Milky Way is a small loli-like girl in the universe. 

Reservations aside about making an OC for the entire fucking galaxy, why on earth would she be child sized? She’s literally billions of years old. I think a being that is chronologically that old would at least be adult sized.

Her mother would be Galaxy, 

Isn’t she the galaxy? She’s her own mother? Excuse me?

and her closest friend, Time. 

I don’t even have a proper reaction for that. All I can say is that an OC in Hetalia that is the very concept of time is utterly absurd. She’s her own mother and she is also best friends with Time. Right, got it.

Milky Way is the representation of the Milky Way. Another name for her is Dreamland.

Dreamland. 

She-- HUH?

Like I genuinely don’t know what the fuck to say to that. She, who is also the fucking galaxy, is also dreamland? What? How does that work? HOW? 

Appearance

Milky Way has dark purple hair with magenta ends. Her eyes are a magenta-pinkish colour, with little hearts in her eyes. Dreamland (It's a nickname, she is often called perfection and perfection can only be achieved in dreams hence the name Dreamland.) 

Wow, okay so just. A blatant Mary Sue. Also, no. I’m setting aside the absurdity of this OC for a few seconds to think logically, if that’s possible here. 

No Hetalia characters have unnaturally colored hair. They look like the country they represent, as in, what the largest population of people from that nation look like. They can’t even dye their hair. I just-- My brain is hurting. This is not an OC that works in Hetalia.

has her hair in bunches, most like Nyo!Canada's. Her magenta fringe hides most of her forehead. On top, she has a heartlike curl on the side of her head.

Milky Way normally wears pastel goth clothing, mostly like this:[1] (Credit to artist, it's really pretty!)

There was a link there, and the art linked to it is very good, but I removed it, because I’m unsure if that is stolen art or not, and I don’t promote stolen art here on this blog.

Personality

Milky Way is happy and optimistic person, who can be seen as annoying. Not many people are able to see her, and therefore is a dandere. 

Okay so that’s just not what a dandere is. A dandere is an antisocial, timid, and shy character who doesn’t express emotions very much. Think Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto or Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100. Sure, Mob is cheerful enough, but he’s also not really an expressive person. The personality described above is an oxymoron, is all I’m saying.

She has no social experience outside of the magic trio. Since Italy (Galileo Galilei discovered the Milky Way, and he was from Italy.) had been the one to discover her, she has many traits from him such as being an optimistic person. Her salty side is never really shown, because she isn't fond if being savage like one of her founders. (Romano~).

Um, okay. That’s all I can say. Because I genuinely don’t know how to react to that. Galileo was indeed the first to see the Milky Way through a telescope, so I guess that could be a connection to Italy. However, as far as we know, billions of undiscovered worlds could be somewhere off in the galaxy, and I don’t know if us humans would’ve been the first to observe the galaxy. It just feels odd to me that she’d be so connected to Italy. I guess since he’s one of the main characters in Hetalia, but I dunno, something just bothers me about that.

Backstory/History

Milky Way used to be a depressed little ball of feelings. Her mother Galaxy never really had time for her, and so Milky Way was alone.

SHE IS THE GALAXY. MILKY WAY = GALAXY. IT IS CALLED THE MILKY WAY GALAXY. 

 (Her appearance at the time: short magenta-pink hair, with emotionless eyes. She was always so dull.)

Wait why the fuck would her appearance change?

One day, she saw the Earth. A small person was smiling up at her, with his telescope. That man was later known as Galileo Galilei. He ran to tell Italy, so was ecstatic. Romano, on the other hand, was not as excited.

Why? Why wouldn’t he think that was cool? 

When they came to see, Milky Way felt happy. She felt noticed. It was a nice feeling for her, and the first time she'd ever felt it. The Italies welcomed her with open arms, though she felt a little wistful in the country of Italy. Upon talking to her, the Italies realised she was not of Italia origin and wondered. They took her to the next World Meeting, asking anyone and everyone if they knew her. No one knew her of course, but they were intruiged by her.

Okay so that just doesn’t make any sense. She was discovered by Galileo, and Italy and Romano just assumed she was a part of Italy or of Italian origin? Why? Did Galileo just not tell them anything and let them assume he just found a piece of Italy floating off in space? Are they stupid? Did they physically go into space to speak to her? How did they get a message to her? 

This is fucking absurd, and I have so many questions.

Granted that not all of them trusted her or welcomed her with open arms like the Italies, she always loved the countries.

I thought Romano didn’t, but sure, okay.

Now she lives with her mother Galaxy, and comes to visit her good friends.

So the OC creator just is under the impression that the galaxy isn’t the same thing as the Milky Way. Did they mean to make this an OC for the Solar System? Because that would make so much more sense. It would still be silly, but less egregious. 

 (Italy & Romano, although Southern Italy never really grew found of her...)

But didn’t it just say they welcomed her with open arms? Did Romano just decide to lie about that?

She tries to make friends, but it never really works out.

With who? I mean, there could be some cool things done with this, if she was an OC for just the solar system. She could be acquainted with America, Russia, China, etc, because of the international space station. 

2P!talia/Cardverse/Nyotalia/2P!Nyotalia

Dreamland's 2P is a blonde haired gothic girl. Her pale blonde hair was in a short pixie cut, with electric blue eyes. She normally wears black clothing. Here's an example... [2]

That link actually led to nothing, just a grey image of nothing with an error message. I removed the link regardless.

She is extra salty, and rarely shows her sweet side. Being a kuudere character, she's quite popular with other countries because she is quite the mysterious character.

This entire thing makes my head hurt.

Dreamland's Cardverse is non-existent for now. She dwells where the Wasteland of Cardverse is: [3]

That led to a broken Deviantart link. I think the upload was deleted. I’m also not familiar with Hetalia’s Cardverse, I haven’t interacted with the fandom as much as I used to in quite some time. 

Dreamland's Nyotalia has pale pink hair dip-dyed into blue. He wears something similar to this: [4]

His personality is cute, and very, very modest when it comes to praise.

Link deleted again, because I’m not sure if that’s stolen art or not. Even if it isn’t and the OC creator drew it, I don’t want to repost anyone’s art without permission.

Dreamland's 2P!Nyotalia looks like this: [5]

Another broken Deviantart link.

Relationships/Trivia

Milky Way has no comfirmed religion/ethnicity. (Although, I like to think of her as a Scientologist, believing in the Big Bang Theory etc.)

That... That isn’t what Scientology is. I also believe in the Big Bang Theory, but that doesn’t make me a Scientologist. Scientology is an actual cult. It isn’t just a religion based on facts and logic because it has ‘science’ in the name. 

Her relationship with Galaxy is kind of tattered.

Guess she needs to work on self love.

Dreamland is a panromantic asexual.

Another few people she knows are Romania, Norway & England mainly because of their magic. America & Canada are also some acquaintances. Even though she has not spent that much time with France, she takes SOME of her personality from him.

Why? Just... Why? Like, what logical reason is there for that?

Milky Way is a dandere.

I’ve lost the will to fight.

She looks around 11 years old, but is actually 31.

What? Just... huh? Why? I reiterate my point from the beginning, the Milky Way is a galaxy that is billions of years old. I have no idea why she would look 11 years old, but the fact that it says she’s 31 is even more baffling. Where the fuck did that number come from?

Her birthdate is 2nd December, being a Sagittarius. (The Milky Way's constellation is Sagittarius.)

The-- Okay. Sure. But there are also so many more constellations aside from that one in the Milky Way. Because the Milky Way is a galaxy. Full of stars. 

Her full name is Daphne (Italian spelling is: Dafne) Dreamland. Her origin/ethnicity is unknown for the moment~ Dreamland knows all the countries; it's just that they don't know her.

~ The end, for now ~

I have no words. I just... I don’t. I don’t even know how I can be constructive here. I have so many questions. 

How would this even work in canon Hetalia? I am left with a blank. I genuinely have nothing to say. I’m left with so many unanswered questions.

-Kat