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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Confederate States of America (APH OC)

This was brought to my attention by the same person who brought the Milky Way OC to my attention, so a shout out to them.

NGL, I’m not excited about this one.

Possible trigger warning for racism? I dunno, but this is an OC of the literal Confederacy, so I wouldn’t be surprised. That being said, racism pisses me off, as it should anyone, so I may get a little heated.

"Don't think you're so much better than me, North. Someday you'll acknowledge me, too!"

...There’s a lot to unpack there, but we’re just... gonna throw away the whole suitcase.

Confederacy (コンフェッデラシー, Konfedderashī) is a fan-made character for the anime and manga series: Hetalia representing the Confederate States of America. His human name is Alexander S. Jones, usually shortened to "Alex."

Okay, I guess that’s fine. I don’t really have any qualms with the name, but the actual existence of this OC is another story. Bear with me, it’s history rant time. Also, a minor history lesson, for my foreign readers who don’t know much about American history, brought to you by a girl who went through the U.S. school system.

First of all, I don’t think the American Civil War was ever touched on in Canon Hetalia, but I found a discussion on Reddit about this topic that said that a new country would probably be created upon the rebellion, since the Confederacy was supposed to be an entirely new country. However, when the Union was victorious over the Confederacy, the states making up the Confederacy were reabsorbed by the North. So, by that logic, whoever represented the Confederacy would have probably died since they had nothing left to represent.

Now, the topic of Prussia could be brought up here, but he’s slightly different. First of all, Prussia was an actual nation with a history. Prussia was officially called The Kingdom of Prussia, and was one of the main precursors leading to the establishment of the actual nation of Germany. Its culture, history, and land still exist, though the land is now a part of Germany. It makes sense that Prussia still exists, since he appears to represent this important period in German history, but also because Germany still recognizes him as a country, and he lives with him.

There’s also the topic of The Iron Curtain, and how it’s widely accepted that Prussia represented the East, since he often calls Germany ‘West.’ That’s another reason why he still exists. In addition to representing the history of his former nation, he also holds some representation of East Germany.

The Confederacy, however, was never recognized. It was a group of states who wanted to keep slaves around, partially because their economies were largely dependent on the commerce and goods that slave labor brought. They also thought white people were superior and didn’t want to share their rights with the freed slaves because they felt threatened by that. It was really mostly that, they were just really fucking racist. When the Confederacy was dissolved, that was it. Gone. It didn’t exist anymore. There’s no reason for a representation of the Confederacy to still exist, as it does not represent a period in history or still existing piece of land in the same way Prussia does. The Confederacy doesn’t even have a history to represent that isn’t a dark period of hatred and racism.

Anyway, my point is made, back to the review.

He is the younger brother to the United States and is referred to as "South" by other nations (as he is an unrecognized nation).

As I said, he’s also just not a nation. He wasn’t even recognized when the Confederacy rebelled back during the Civil War. The states that rebelled were referred to as ‘Rebels’ for a reason. I learned this in history class.

Germany recognizes Prussia as a nation. I doubt America recognizes the Confederacy as one. He sure as hell didn’t during the Civil War.

He considers his birthday February 8th, the date the Provisional Constitution of the Confederate States of America was proclaimed, though he had lived with America before then.

Why? There’s no reason for him to have even existed before the Civil War. There just isn’t. The Confederacy didn’t exist before 1860-1861(ish).

I say ‘ish’ because the 11 states that made up the Confederacy all seceded at different points in time, but the first state to secede, South Carolina, did so on December 20th of 1860, following the election of President Abraham Lincoln. The rest of the states seceded over the course of the next six months, all in 1861. They were never recognized as a sovereign nation.

Confederate States Information:

Nation:

Confederate States of America (1861-1865), Southern United States (1787-Present)

No. As I said, the southern states that rebelled rejoined the northern United States after the defeat of the Confederacy. There is no reason for this at all.

Also, why in the fuck has he existed since 1787? That was when the constitution was ratified, but at that time, there were no southern states in existence, just the original thirteen colonies. Well. Sort of. There were really only three official states at this time, and those were Delaware, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey, all founded in December of 1787.

The first southern states to be declared actual states were states like Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia, all of which were founded in 1788. Regardless, why would these states need a separate representation when Alfred F. Jones already existed as the representation of America? It just seems rather redundant.

Human Name:

Alexander S. Jones

Age:

About 300

That would be wrong, though. 1787 was 235 years ago, and even then, that would make him weirdly younger than America, if he has existed for as long as he has for whatever reason. I don’t understand, Alfred originally was the representation for the thirteen British colonies, hence why he’s often considered England’s younger brother. Why would Alexander even need to exist??

Birthday:

February 8th (Provisional Constitution of the Confederate States)

Why not the date the first Confederate state succeed, December 20th?

Height:

6’1”

I don’t really have a problem with that, but he’s weirdly taller than America, who is 5′9.”

I just realized America is only two inches taller than me. That’s kinda wild. But, I’m also just a tall young woman. I’m taller than a lot of people.

Weight:

170lbs

Languages:

Various - primarily English

List those various languages. He could speak Klingon for all I know.

Current Residence:

Charleston, South Carolina

Governments:

Confederation Republic (1861-1865), Federal Republic (1787-Present)

There’s a contradiction there. By this information, he used the federal government used by the United States while also using the Confederate’s government simultaneously. So that’s interesting.

Religions:

Catholic, Evangelical, Methodist, Baptist. In the modern day he has developed significant non-Christian populations.

So he has several religions?? Those are all Christian denominations, so it would probably just be easier to say Christian with varying beliefs. I could call myself that as well, minus the Evangelical bit, because I believe in human rights, but we’re not here to talk about my religious beliefs. We’re here to tear apart this questionable OC.

Contents

Appearance Basic Bio Family Relationships and History Trivia Pages of Interest America England and France

Oh, let’s hope some research has been done. It’s clear a base level of research has been done, because there are some dates that do match up with history, but a lot of this is full of interesting holes. Let’s see if that continues.

Appearance

A young man with blonde hair and gray-blue eyes; he had a love of fancy uniforms in his younger days, but now dresses in the same "modern" style as the rest of the country. He had longer hair in his youth, but since his decimation by the North has now cut it. His current image still seems a little privileged, but he has a reputation as a redneck and hard worker as well.

Okay, so, the grey-blue eyes bit is interesting, because of the colors of the Union and Confederacy uniforms, grey and blue respectively, so that’s a nice bit of representation, I suppose. Apart from that, why did he have longer hair? I can’t find any supporting information regarding hairstyles in the Confederacy, but men usually wore their hair short back then, if I remember correctly. I suppose the most I have to say about that is a little bit of nitpicking.

I don’t care much about the hard working bit, that’s fine. That’s just a character trait that could be said about many characters in Hetalia. The redneck bit is what I wanna talk about. I am not from the South, I am from the Midwest, but let me tell you, since I’m from farm country (Iowa), we have rednecks up here as well. My point is, something that rednecks from here and the South have in common is one thing in particular: racism. ‘Redneck’ is a word often used interchangeably with racial intolerance. I know not all people who do farm work are racist, but I can’t really think of anyone who could be described as a redneck that isn’t conservative as all hell.

So that’s just a really fancy way of saying your OC is a racist asshole. Good to know.

Basic Bio

He was a conflicted young nation whose peoples seemed unable to get along. In his early years, he housed large plantation owners as well as "small" slave owners, independent farmers, slaves, free blacks and Northern immigrants.

Northern as in Canadian? Because if someone moves from one state to another while still remaining in the same country, that doesn’t make them an immigrant.

Since he housed so many peoples, he often disagreed with the minority, whites-only government - and with himself - suffering breakdowns from internal divisions and his constituent states' desire for independent government. Despite his polite debutante manner, he has a prideful (and sometimes rebellious) streak and can't stand the idea of North (USA) dictating what he does.

Okay. But that isn’t what the Confederacy stood for. The Confederacy was a white supremacist group, primarily. They believed white people were superior to black people. That was their literal ideology. It was centrally based "upon the great truth that the black man is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and normal condition."

According to a historian, “The statesmen who led the secession movement were unashamed to explicitly cite the defense of slavery as their prime motive. Acknowledging the centrality of slavery to the Confederacy is essential for understanding the Confederate.”

That was the ideology of the Confederacy. It wasn’t just the South wanting to have independence because they were rebellious and didn’t want to be controlled. They wanted independence because they didn’t want their slaves taken away, and Lincoln was going to do that. Their motivations were self-serving and racist. Hell, the Confederate Constitution was full of racist rhetoric.

But ‘oh, no, he didn’t agree with everything his people, the ones he’s supposed to represent, believe. Only the good parts.’ Sorry, but you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. That period of history was horrific, and you can’t just gloss over the atrocities committed by the Confederacy towards Black people by saying “he didn’t agree with everything and suffered breakdowns over conflicting thoughts.”

Also, it was not a minority of people who believed that. There was a rise in Southern nationalism in the lead up to the war, and they unanimously supported a pro slavery presidential candidate. This character description is trying to put a time in history that should not be viewed with sympathy into a sympathetic light. It is downplaying the actual horrible beliefs the Confederacy had, and that frankly disgusts me.

Alex isn't intentionally cruel, unlike some of his people, and feels the pain of the slaves and a select few abolitionists. In many cases, he genuinely tries to relieve their suffering. However, he did have the same paternalistic attitude towards blacks as the wealthy white population - the same idea that they must work hard to be "saved." After the war, he learned - though slower than North would‘ve liked.

My jaw literally dropped. Nobody should have to work to be saved. That should go without saying. How in the fuck is that a ‘paternalistic attitude?’ I literally have nothing to say to that other than ‘what the fuck?’

For his pride, he usually holds on to the views of his more historically-minded peoples or tries to stay neutral, though he is often unable to suppress the pains of the large minorities. He is soft-spoken in general,

I-- Have you ever met a redneck? They’re not really known for being very quiet.

though every bit as opinionated as his brother - he is annoyed by Yankees in general and refuses to truly pay attention to what they say. Though he was a spoiled southern gentleman before the Civil War, he toughened up during Reconstruction after losing the war. Now, he can't get enough of fried foods and has something of a redneck reputation.

I mean, the south is famous for comfort food, so I guess that makes sense. But again, the redneck bit is just saying he has a reputation of being a racist.

He is still bitter about the Civil War and North's claims to “superior morality”,

Excuse me? The idea that people shouldn’t be enslaved is very much superior to the idea that they should be. I hate this guy.

and has developed something of a preservationist complex that North is quick to dismiss and is attempting to destroy.

If this is about the removal of monuments of Confederate leaders such as Robert E. Lee, then yeah, those should be taken down. They glorify these men who stood for such racist things, and while they’re a part of history for sure, we don’t see monuments of Adolf Hitler standing, do we? He was a part of history. But we don’t glorify him. After the Nazi party was defeated, every trace of them was destroyed. Flags were torn down, as were statues and monuments, because A) that government no longer existed, and B) they stood for such hateful things. Nobody wanted them standing anymore.

The statues in the South that were removed were long overdue for removal, if you ask me.

Even now he feels some sectionalist loyalties and is more religious and conservative than the rest of the US.

Okay. So he is racist. I bet he doesn’t like trans people either. Damn those gays. Think of the children.

Because Alfred refused to acknowledge Alex as a separate country, America (and most other countries) has always called him "South." Alex refers to him as "North."

If I were Alfred, I’d call him ‘that guy who I thought died in that war.’

Because he should have.

Family Relationships and History

America

Alex’s older brother, with whom ha has a long and complicated relationship. Though the two have tried for a long time to reconcile their views, expansion into the West (amongst other things) brought the tensions between the two to the boiling point.

That is not what triggered the Civil War. Lincoln’s election was the tipping point.

Even after secession, Alex occasionally wished to return to the Union - even modeling his first flag after that of the USA somewhat.

There are still regional tensions between the two, but Alex has accepted their existence as a Union.

I mean, I suppose, if you’re talking about the first Confederate flag. We should probably mention that the second flag of the Confederacy has turned into a symbol of racism, because that was what it was when the Confederacy existed. I don’t think the southern states were remorseful.

England and France

Alex sought diplomatic recognition from these two leading powers by leveraging his cotton supply, but did not receive any. England switched to cotton supplies in Egypt and India and suffered a recession, but was glad to escape the political entanglements of recognizing the Confederacy. France had considerably more problems in refusing, but withstood them well enough.

France had no problems refusing. At all. The British had so much cotton from India and Egypt that they were exporting it to the French. The French straight up didn’t need the cotton from the Confederacy.

Let’s also note that the Confederacy failed miserably with any sort of diplomacy with France or England, as it tried to send diplomats to London and Paris and was then intercepted by the US Navy and forcibly sent back to Boston.

I must also note that some British and French politicians and monarchs expressed interest in recognizing the Confederacy, in order to at least mediate the war, but decided not to. They weren’t completely disconnected.

Although England had already abolished slavery and maintained neutrality, he wished the Confederacy luck in reconciling with America and advised him to go home, remembering the days of his own struggle with America.

The hell he did. The British were firmly anti-slavery, and even deployed the Royal Navy to patrol the oceans in order to stop slaving ships. England was not neutral in all of this, and supported the North. The British also started an anti-slavery convention in 1840, and abolitionists did speeches across the UK regarding the realities of American slavery. It was largely regarded as shameful and horrific. I’d imagine England would’ve sent him home in disgust rather than goodwill after learning what he was doing, at least going off of what historically actually happened regarding the spectacular failure of the Confederacy’s diplomatic attempts.

Trivia

He was in a coma during the military rule in the Reconstruction years, when the South had virtually no political power.

It would make more sense if he’d just died. I mean, Rome supposedly died after the fall of the Roman Empire in canon Hetalia.

His human name, is based on the way he fought for his people, it means Protector of Men.

You mean the way he fought for a racist ideology?

He is annoyed by Northerners - and the many Southerners - who don't recognize the "real" Confederate flag (see the link below).

Okay. There was the first Confederate flag, which looked like this:

I believe this is the one being referred to as the ‘real’ Confederate flag.

The one that looks like a blue x on a red background is the second iteration of the flag. It is just as much the Confederate flag as this one is, it’s just more well known. It is also more tightly associated with racist symbolism.

He loves jazz, blues, hard rock, country rock, bluegrass, and old country music (none of this newer country).

Hysterical to me that despite how racist he is, his favorite types of music are mostly music genres pioneered by black people. Then again, a lot of this originated from songs sung by slaves, so in a weird way that makes sense.

During the War for Southern Independence (as he knows it), he wore a simple officer’s uniform without rank on it but was quite the renowned sharpshooter.

Okay. It was not a war of independence. Let’s call a spade a spade. It was a war to keep slaves. That was literally what the leaders of the Confederacy said it was. That was the motivation. God, the point was missed by so much distance that you may as well have landed on the moon. I don’t think this person ever payed attention in history class, because the only way someone could be this goddamn ignorant is if that was the case.

Or they’re just trying to excuse their racist beliefs. That could also be possible.

Yikes. Just. Yikes.

This OC does not need to exist. Genuinely, it doesn’t. The complete misunderstanding of history was shocking and enraging, and just... bad. Bad is a good word. The casual, blasé racism, the fact that Alfred already represents the land he’s supposed to stand for. He’s a redundancy that doesn’t need to be here. I didn’t know such an insensitive character could exist, but here we are.

Yikes. That is all. Just yikes.

- Kat

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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Milky Way (APH OC)

At the request of @ilovemaryland345 I’ll be taking a look at a few OCs that they recommended to me. This is one of them. The other is the Confederate States, which I just hope is not as racist as it sounds.

Anyway, let’s get funky.

Milky Way is a small loli-like girl in the universe.

Reservations aside about making an OC for the entire fucking galaxy, why on earth would she be child sized? She’s literally billions of years old. I think a being that is chronologically that old would at least be adult sized.

Her mother would be Galaxy,

Isn’t she the galaxy? She’s her own mother? Excuse me?

and her closest friend, Time.

I don’t even have a proper reaction for that. All I can say is that an OC in Hetalia that is the very concept of time is utterly absurd. She’s her own mother and she is also best friends with Time. Right, got it.

Milky Way is the representation of the Milky Way. Another name for her is Dreamland.

Dreamland.

She-- HUH?

Like I genuinely don’t know what the fuck to say to that. She, who is also the fucking galaxy, is also dreamland? What? How does that work? HOW?

Appearance

Milky Way has dark purple hair with magenta ends. Her eyes are a magenta-pinkish colour, with little hearts in her eyes. Dreamland (It's a nickname, she is often called perfection and perfection can only be achieved in dreams hence the name Dreamland.)

Wow, okay so just. A blatant Mary Sue. Also, no. I’m setting aside the absurdity of this OC for a few seconds to think logically, if that’s possible here.

No Hetalia characters have unnaturally colored hair. They look like the country they represent, as in, what the largest population of people from that nation look like. They can’t even dye their hair. I just-- My brain is hurting. This is not an OC that works in Hetalia.

has her hair in bunches, most like Nyo!Canada's. Her magenta fringe hides most of her forehead. On top, she has a heartlike curl on the side of her head.

Milky Way normally wears pastel goth clothing, mostly like this:[1] (Credit to artist, it's really pretty!)

There was a link there, and the art linked to it is very good, but I removed it, because I’m unsure if that is stolen art or not, and I don’t promote stolen art here on this blog.

Personality

Milky Way is happy and optimistic person, who can be seen as annoying. Not many people are able to see her, and therefore is a dandere.

Okay so that’s just not what a dandere is. A dandere is an antisocial, timid, and shy character who doesn’t express emotions very much. Think Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto or Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100. Sure, Mob is cheerful enough, but he’s also not really an expressive person. The personality described above is an oxymoron, is all I’m saying.

She has no social experience outside of the magic trio. Since Italy (Galileo Galilei discovered the Milky Way, and he was from Italy.) had been the one to discover her, she has many traits from him such as being an optimistic person. Her salty side is never really shown, because she isn't fond if being savage like one of her founders. (Romano~).

Um, okay. That’s all I can say. Because I genuinely don’t know how to react to that. Galileo was indeed the first to see the Milky Way through a telescope, so I guess that could be a connection to Italy. However, as far as we know, billions of undiscovered worlds could be somewhere off in the galaxy, and I don’t know if us humans would’ve been the first to observe the galaxy. It just feels odd to me that she’d be so connected to Italy. I guess since he’s one of the main characters in Hetalia, but I dunno, something just bothers me about that.

Backstory/History

Milky Way used to be a depressed little ball of feelings. Her mother Galaxy never really had time for her, and so Milky Way was alone.

SHE IS THE GALAXY. MILKY WAY = GALAXY. IT IS CALLED THE MILKY WAY GALAXY.

(Her appearance at the time: short magenta-pink hair, with emotionless eyes. She was always so dull.)

Wait why the fuck would her appearance change?

One day, she saw the Earth. A small person was smiling up at her, with his telescope. That man was later known as Galileo Galilei. He ran to tell Italy, so was ecstatic. Romano, on the other hand, was not as excited.

Why? Why wouldn’t he think that was cool?

When they came to see, Milky Way felt happy. She felt noticed. It was a nice feeling for her, and the first time she'd ever felt it. The Italies welcomed her with open arms, though she felt a little wistful in the country of Italy. Upon talking to her, the Italies realised she was not of Italia origin and wondered. They took her to the next World Meeting, asking anyone and everyone if they knew her. No one knew her of course, but they were intruiged by her.

Okay so that just doesn’t make any sense. She was discovered by Galileo, and Italy and Romano just assumed she was a part of Italy or of Italian origin? Why? Did Galileo just not tell them anything and let them assume he just found a piece of Italy floating off in space? Are they stupid? Did they physically go into space to speak to her? How did they get a message to her?

This is fucking absurd, and I have so many questions.

Granted that not all of them trusted her or welcomed her with open arms like the Italies, she always loved the countries.

I thought Romano didn’t, but sure, okay.

Now she lives with her mother Galaxy, and comes to visit her good friends.

So the OC creator just is under the impression that the galaxy isn’t the same thing as the Milky Way. Did they mean to make this an OC for the Solar System? Because that would make so much more sense. It would still be silly, but less egregious.

(Italy & Romano, although Southern Italy never really grew found of her...)

But didn’t it just say they welcomed her with open arms? Did Romano just decide to lie about that?

She tries to make friends, but it never really works out.

With who? I mean, there could be some cool things done with this, if she was an OC for just the solar system. She could be acquainted with America, Russia, China, etc, because of the international space station.

2P!talia/Cardverse/Nyotalia/2P!Nyotalia

Dreamland's 2P is a blonde haired gothic girl. Her pale blonde hair was in a short pixie cut, with electric blue eyes. She normally wears black clothing. Here's an example... [2]

That link actually led to nothing, just a grey image of nothing with an error message. I removed the link regardless.

She is extra salty, and rarely shows her sweet side. Being a kuudere character, she's quite popular with other countries because she is quite the mysterious character.

This entire thing makes my head hurt.

Dreamland's Cardverse is non-existent for now. She dwells where the Wasteland of Cardverse is: [3]

That led to a broken Deviantart link. I think the upload was deleted. I’m also not familiar with Hetalia’s Cardverse, I haven’t interacted with the fandom as much as I used to in quite some time.

Dreamland's Nyotalia has pale pink hair dip-dyed into blue. He wears something similar to this: [4]

His personality is cute, and very, very modest when it comes to praise.

Link deleted again, because I’m not sure if that’s stolen art or not. Even if it isn’t and the OC creator drew it, I don’t want to repost anyone’s art without permission.

Dreamland's 2P!Nyotalia looks like this: [5]

Another broken Deviantart link.

Relationships/Trivia

Milky Way has no comfirmed religion/ethnicity. (Although, I like to think of her as a Scientologist, believing in the Big Bang Theory etc.)

That... That isn’t what Scientology is. I also believe in the Big Bang Theory, but that doesn’t make me a Scientologist. Scientology is an actual cult. It isn’t just a religion based on facts and logic because it has ‘science’ in the name.

Her relationship with Galaxy is kind of tattered.

Guess she needs to work on self love.

Dreamland is a panromantic asexual.

Another few people she knows are Romania, Norway & England mainly because of their magic. America & Canada are also some acquaintances. Even though she has not spent that much time with France, she takes SOME of her personality from him.

Why? Just... Why? Like, what logical reason is there for that?

Milky Way is a dandere.

I’ve lost the will to fight.

She looks around 11 years old, but is actually 31.

What? Just... huh? Why? I reiterate my point from the beginning, the Milky Way is a galaxy that is billions of years old. I have no idea why she would look 11 years old, but the fact that it says she’s 31 is even more baffling. Where the fuck did that number come from?

Her birthdate is 2nd December, being a Sagittarius. (The Milky Way's constellation is Sagittarius.)

The-- Okay. Sure. But there are also so many more constellations aside from that one in the Milky Way. Because the Milky Way is a galaxy. Full of stars.

Her full name is Daphne (Italian spelling is: Dafne) Dreamland. Her origin/ethnicity is unknown for the moment~ Dreamland knows all the countries; it's just that they don't know her.

~ The end, for now ~

I have no words. I just... I don’t. I don’t even know how I can be constructive here. I have so many questions.

How would this even work in canon Hetalia? I am left with a blank. I genuinely have nothing to say. I’m left with so many unanswered questions.

-Kat

#the milky way #Axis Powers Hetalia #aph hetalia #hetalia #hetalia OC #mary sue #really just awful #Help #send help #*Bertrum crying*#mod kat reviews stuff #mod kat reviews things #the galaxy #i guess #ohnohetaliasues

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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Hey, can I send you my state heights, ages and names through an ask because I have no clue how to submit something? ToT

Also, can you check out something? I think I'll have a blast seeing you reading them or maybe you will too. They're all on Hetalia Fan Characters wiki. The first one is the Milky Way or Dreamland, her mother is Galaxy and her friend is Time.

The second one is a Confederate States, his name is Alexander S. Jones. I can't find the third one so, here's what I have.

Oh my goodness gravy, I'll look at them immediately. You can indeed send me those things through an ask, and I can even answer privately if you'd like me to. I'll get right on those OCs, they sound... interesting.

Edit: I found both the mentioned characters, and the Confederate one is particularly... interesting.

#mod kat #kat speaks #asks

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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Do I do the height by gender or not?

I’d say that would be a good idea.

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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Me again...yay!

Hey, it's the anon who asked a lot of questions recently. I decided to reveal my username, don't ask questions. I just put what came to my mind. I have already asked this question, but I'm not sure if it got through to you as I wasn't logined at the time. It's about the states' heights. Are the heights the same as the age, that they depend on the state and is it the nation height of the state?

Also, about Hawaii's age. I put Hawaii's age as 23 (I decided her mother was going to be Ancient Hawaii), is that alright? Thank you for helping me so far!

Hi, yes, your ask came through. Sorry for not answering. I’ve just been really busy, mostly with work, and haven’t been able to get around to answering it.

Hawaii’s age is probably fine, the Hawaiian people have existed longer than the US, so it would make sense that she’s older than America. As for heights, yeah, I’d go with average height per state, because I suppose higher concentrations of some groups of people live in certain places. At least, that’s how it is where I live. We have a large population of people of Dutch descent in my state (though I myself am not Dutch, I’m Irish, Italian, and French), and that produces a lot of tall, pale people with blonde hair and light eyes. I hope that helps!

— Kat

#kat speaks #mod kat #I’m eeby

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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Me again with the same question. Must the settlement be temporary or permanent?

I don’t know, I’ve never really considered this. I’d go with permanent, but those temporary settlements could still be a part of the character.

#Kat speaks #i dunno #mod kat #I just woke up

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ohnohetaliasues · 1 year ago

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Hey, it's the same Anon who asked too many questions. I have another question. When I said, what age range I should put each state at. You said it depended on the state and when it was founded. I'm confused on that part. It is when the state became a part of the Union or when that state first became a colony? Or it is when the first settlement was made on the land of that state? I would asked this question sooner if I wasn't so busy. Sorry if I ask too many question too. Have a good day, afternoon or night!

Hi, no worries, I like answering questions.

It truly does depend on the state, I’d say. First settlement is probably a good bet, as in canon Hetalia, nations existed in child-like forms before actually becoming full fledged nations. Founding is also something you could use to gauge the physical age of the state, if that makes sense.

It’s been a hot minute since I actually watched Hetalia, so bear with me, haha. I hope this helps!

#mod kat #kat speaks

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ohnohetaliasues · 2 years ago

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Stones to Abbigale {Ch. 10}

(Kat)

Here we go again. I am still alive and actually still active on tumblr, but I mostly do writing and fanfiction now. I still enjoy the occasional fic review, though.

If I have to read Abbi and James going any further than kissing I’m going to need either a brain transplant or a lobotomy, whichever makes me forget faster.

But I know they will. I know they will and I will have to read it with my two eyes and you will be able to read my suffering. I will put a warning when that chapter comes around in case any of you want to skip it. I honestly wouldn’t blame you.

Let’s get into it.

The next morning I was surprised Davis didn’t leap up to greet me as I walked on the bus with Abbi. We sat across from him but he just looked out his window, surrounding himself in a silent gloom while paying us no attention.

I mean, there’s the chance he’s traumatized. He did just survive a shooting.

“Hey Davis, how are you today?” I asked.

Davis replied without turning towards me, “Why don’t you have a car? You’re 17, only losers like me ride the bus.”

Well, that’s a rather rude way of responding to a friend asking you how you are.

Abbi gave me a look of concern.

As she should.

Though Abbi didn’t know Davis too well yet, she understood him to be a happier person; neither of us expected Davis to say something so negative.

I responded to Davis, “Not everyone has a white picket fence life Davis, some people have to ride the bus.”

I hate the way the dialogue tags are written before the actual fucking dialogue. It’s so irritating to read and it is nOT HOW YOU WRITE DIALOGUE.

Davis turned angrily and spoke as he pierced me with the most intense glare I had ever seen, “You don’t think I know that? You should get a job! Buy your own car! What are you even doing with your life?”

In case you forgot, Davis, teenagers usually don’t have everything figured out. As much as I hate James, there’s no reason for him to be attacked for something as completely fucking mundane as riding the school bus.

I sat back, giving up on changing his mood and thought to myself “Happiness, as far as I care, can’t be acquired through any means if love is not involved.”

If I got a job on top of school, I’d have barely any time to spend with Abbi.

She now apparently lives with you, plus you go to school with her. You’ll see her plenty.

I needed her more than anything and I thought Davis knew this.

Broski, he probably needs you, too.

He’s supposed to James’ best friend, but all James cares about is Abbi and I imagine Davis is probably annoyed and hurt that James is only paying attention to his girlfriend and not making time for his best friend after something like this happened.

Or Onion wants to create drama, and making Davis angry for some reason is the most low effort way of doing so. My money is on that since I don’t think that man is capable of intelligent, complex thoughts, nor is he capable of any kind of decent storytelling.

Davis was probably just upset over everything that had happened recently and this was his way of coping.

It’s honestly more concerning that James isn’t as affected by the shooting. Davis is reacting in a normal way to a massive, traumatizing, and tragic event. All James cares about is the girl in his bed.

Trying to close the conversation on a less negative note I said, “Well buddy, I’m here if you need me!” with the same tone he always used on me.

No, you’re not.

He rolled his eyes, scoffed and scooted closer to his window. Abbi remained next to me, running her fingers over the hairs on my hand. It was such a positive distraction.

Why is she doing that instead of just holding his hand? That’s not a thing I’ve ever heard of someone doing. Did Onion forget that sometimes people hold hands and like, run their fingers over the person they’re holding hands with’s knuckles?

Later that morning I found myself in my History class staring at a very nervous Mr. Hanson.

“You all realize the President of the United freaking States is going to be here right?” he asked the class.

Okay, two things.

That was actually formatted how a quotation should, but that’s probably not going to stick.

Secondly, WHAT?!

I think this was released in like, 2015 or so, meaning that was Obama, so does this just make this book a very elaborate ‘Obama was there’ meme? I will choose to look at it that way since that makes it a minuscule amount less insufferable.

I know that the President sometimes goes to schools to speak. President Obama once just arrived at a DC high school. He just casually strolled into a classroom, like the legend he is. I guess it makes sense for him to show up to speak in the wake of a tragedy like this, but it was just so fucking jarring that this was announced the day it was happening instead of, I dunno, days in advance like how planning usually works?

Whoever planned this needs to be fired.

Most the students looked confused, as we were not briefed when exactly we would see him.

Why? Why not?

A voice erupted as our classroom door was swiftly pushed open.

“The President of the United freaking States is about to arrive ladies and gentlemen,” said a large man wearing a black suit.

This is all happening so fast I don’t even know what to say.

Mr. Hanson laughed nervously over the fact that, what we soon realized was a member of the Secret Service, had overheard him.

Thanks for that unnecessary comma after ‘Secret Service.’ Also, that whole sentence in general was just a fucking mess.

It should be written something like: “Mr. Hanson laughed nervously when he realized that someone had overheard him, and we later realized said person was a member of the Secret Service.”

See? The sentence structure is better, it reads easier, and it doesn’t make your brain hurt. But no, no editing allowed, no criticism, it’s against Onion laws.

Throw me in Onion Jail then, I guess.

Also, did the Secret Service member just announce the president arriving by saying “the President of the freaking United States,” like he’s surprised by the person he works for? Is he an idiot, or is he just constantly in awe of the President? My money is on both.

Edit: I realize he’s quoting Mr. Hanson, but I like my joke that I made and I’m keeping it there even if it’s stupid.

Mr. Hanson turned to the class and in a rushed tone said “Alright, think before you ask the President anything, no stupid questions!”

Ah, there goes the proper formatting of dialogue. We had a good run.

Another voice came from outside the door “You’re right Mr. Hanson, there are no stupid questions.”

Hello, Obama.

We all froze to see it was the President who had spoken.

As he walked in the room I quickly realized he was much taller than I had assumed from watching TV. The President centered himself in the room as the Secret Service asked Mr. Hanson to take a seat at his desk.

Four members of the USSS stood behind the President as he began to speak,

Why? It would make more sense for them to be stationed at the doors, but I’m not an expert on the US Secret Service so I really wouldn’t know. It just seems crowded as fuck to have four people standing behind you while standing in an already not very large classroom, but I digress.

“I’m not here to bring a dark cloud into this room. I want to be uplifting, to be helpful, and I want all of you to feel like you can say whatever you like, without any fear of criticism or repercussion”

There is no period at the end of that sentence.

Chris Jenkins, the class clown, blurted out “Why are you such a D-Bag?”

Um.

I have met stupid people. But I don’t think I’ve met anyone that stupid.

Actually, that’s a lie, there were some massive dumbasses I went to high school with. And, truthfully, who I go to college with, currently.

Most everyone in the class sat in shock as Mr. Hanson violently lurched up like a frantic animal yelling in a high-pitched tone “Chris! How dare you disrespect the...”

If I have to read the words ‘most everyone’ again I am going to have a fucking conniption. I don’t think Onion ever passed high school English class. Hell, I don’t think he passed middle school English.

He has the IQ of a fucking life raft, though, so nobody is surprised by that.

If you’ll allow me to go into a writer rant here for a second, I’ll tell you why this is wrong. ‘Most everyone’ is not proper grammar. The word ‘most’ means the greatest part of something, as all of you undoubtedly know, so ‘most everyone’ means the greatest part of everyone here. What greatest part are you talking about? Their heads and torsos? Their legs and torsos?

While people do use it, it sounds fucking wrong. Like, if you replace it with ‘almost everyone’ it works and sounds normal, but ‘most everyone’ sounds fucking stupid.

“Mr. Hanson.” the President interrupted, “Thank you.”

A USSS member then asked Mr. Hanson to return to his seat.

The dialogue formatting is making me so goddamn mad that I have to correct it because it’s such a headache to read. I leave the dialogue tags as they are, because that means I can make fun of them, but I cannot read something where there are no fucking paragraph breaks when somebody speaks.

DOES THIS MAN NOT KNOW THE BASIC RULES OF WRITING DIALOGUE? NO. HE JUST DECIDED TO WRITE A BOOK WITHOUT PRACTICING AND PUBLISHED HIS FIRST DRAFT.

There is nothing more impersonal that critiquing someone’s grammar, but even when fans offered to help correct spelling and grammar, Onion refused. So, like a moron, he released the book unedited. Or he let his partner edit it. I don’t know, they didn’t do a very good job if that’s the case.

The President walked over to Chris, pulling his own pants slightly back so he could crouch.

Why the fuck does he feel the need to crouch?

“Now you may feel I am what you said, a D-Bag, but you should know to address me as President D-Bag as I, and many Americans, believe I earned the title of President.”

Uh. Okay.

Sick burn, I guess?

Chris, now shaking and not knowing what to say let out a nervous and horribly awkward chuckle.

Why is he shaking? It’s not like the President threatened him.

The President smiled and returned to the front of the room as he said “Now what other questions do you all have for me?”

Literally everyone in class aside from Chris raised their hand.

‘Literally everyone’ is a nice change from ‘most everyone.’

Y’know, because it fucking makes sense.

Also, why the fuck is he taking questions instead of making a speech about the shooting, or saying what his response plan will be for gun violence so these kids don’t have to be afraid? Nah, he just pulls up like ‘so who wants to ask me a question?’ Like this is a Reddit AMA.

The President looked directly at me and said “James Patrick, the boy who nearly saved the day, what is your question?”

Nearly saved the day? James didn’t do shit. All he did was run around looking for Abbi, he didn’t save anyone’s lives. The incessant praise James receives for doing absolutely fucking nothing is baffling.

I replied, “You know who I am?”

He responded, “I’ve read up on this school and the recent events quite a bit. How are your feet healing up?”

Why would some random ass dude who got glass in his feet be in any kind of official report? Sure, his name would be among the survivors and witnesses, but he didn’t really do anything of note. This is absolute bullshit.

I was overwhelmed but I had to keep it together so I quickly replied, “Really well actually, the ambulance guys did an amazing job getting the glass and dirt out.”

You mean the EMTs? The paramedics? They have a technical name. This makes it seem like Onion forgot what they were called and just didn’t bother to google it.

Which, honestly, is probably what happened.

The President followed with “That’s wonderful to hear, what was your question?”

I replied, “I just wanted to know how you feel about the things people call you, in the news and around the world.”

Completely irrelevant to the situation at hand, but okay.

The President gave a slightly sad smile and replied “I cannot, and do not want to control what people say about me.

Why? You wanna have a good approval rating, don’t you?

All I can really fully control is what I myself am saying and doing. I find myself repeatedly stating that I came into office with the best intentions, and I continue to lead as President with those very same intentions. Some decisions I have to make aren’t always fair to me, my family or many people around the world, but sometimes your only options lie between the end of a slipknot or the blade a guillotine, and that’s the burden I chose to carry.”

Why does this sound like something Trump would say?

Gross.

Also, ‘sometimes your only options lie between the end of a slipknot or the blade of a guillotine?’ That is an absolutely bonkers thing to say to a room full of high school students.

The class paused for a few seconds and then all at once everyone but Chris & myself raised their hands again.

Why— Why the ampersand? That’s not proper grammar. You do not use an ampersand to replace the word ‘and’ in a sentence in prose writing, the two are not interchangeable.

One of the USSS members spoke up “Mr. President we need to move on.”

He was there for like, two minutes. Why the hell is he going from class to class individually instead of just holding an assembly and speaking in front of the whole school?

The President lifted his hand and said to the class “I want you all to know there are going to be some major changes around your school. I’ve approved a budget shift that will help fund significant renovations and an effective security program that will promote a safer environment for everyone here.”

Uh. Great. Thanks. Better than thoughts and prayers, I suppose.

“I will not stand by and do nothing when these incidents occur. So I’m doing what any responsible person in my position would do to make you all feel safer in this learning environment.”

As much as I hate Onion, we apparently share the same views on restricting guns and gun laws. Not sure how I feel about that.

He then smiled as the USSS opened the door behind him. “Thank you all, and Chris, remember our talk, ok?”

The ‘President D-bag’ talk? That was not really a life lesson, it was just a thing that happened.

Also, Onion should be called President D-bag.

Chris remained speechless as the President walked out.

I relate.

Mr. Hanson then stood up while looking at Chris as if he had just slapped Mr. Hanson’s mother right in front of him. Mr. Hanson maintained his glare as he walked to the front of class.

Uh, I mean, he’d probably get a stern talking to. Even the idiots I went to high school were a bit less fucking brazen than calling the POTUS a douchebag.

Mr. Hanson sighed deeply and looked down at the floor, he then asked, “Did anyone else almost pass out?”

No, just you.

The class erupted with laughter as the teacher wiped sweat from his forehead with the towel he used as a white board eraser. The towel smeared ink all over his forehead, which made us all laugh even harder. Unfortunately I was faced with the reality that he would blame his humiliation on me if I did not tell him right away, as my next period still required I act as a Teachers’ Assistant for him.

Why the fuck would be blame James for that? James didn’t do anything.

The first thing Abbi said to me when I met with her later that day in gym class was “So it looks like Mrs. Stanley’s getting a new desk.”

I replied “The president?”

“Yep, he met with you guys too?”

I nodded and she added “In other news, Jason has been hitting on me, not sure what to do about it.”

Tell him to stop? I mean, easier said than done, but you could try that. Or you could break his arms, whichever comes first.

I replied concerned “Like just flirting, or is it heavy?”

She answered, “I think the whole saving our lives thing went to his head. He just grabbed my butt in class after the President left the room.”

I went silent.

Trying to reassure me she said “I yelled at him not do it again.”

Uh, good. Holy fuck. What a tool.

I replied, “Did you talk to the teacher?”

She answered “Mrs. Stanley saw I was uncomfortable and said she would give him detention if he tried to do it again.”

No, give him detention immediately, he fucking groped someone. Hell, suspend him.

I loved that she did everything I would have done, leaving no room for me to imagine potential alternatives to what she felt about Jason’s chauvinistic act.

She isn’t helpless without you, James. Fun fact, women are autonomous beings who can care for themselves. We’re cool like that.

I smiled slightly and said “Well, thank you for telling me...”

She interrupted “What about you? Any girls grabbing your butt these days?”

Interesting topic of conversation. I, too bond with my nonexistent significant other over ass grabbing.

I replied with a slight smile, “Nope, guess my butt just isn’t as good looking as yours.” She squealed and hugged me

Why is that her response?

as the substitute walked in and blew his whistle.

Oh I forgot they were in gym class.

“All right everyone let’s play some badminton!” the sub said, pronouncing everything as it was spelled.

Raymon responded “Don’t you mean bad-mitten?”

No.

Oh god, did he not read this out loud?

Badminton is often pronounced more like bad-mitten when spoken out loud, so—Why would the sub say it like that? You know what, nevermind.

Jesus Christ, these attempted jokes are exhausting.

The teacher replied “I didn’t Ray-man, is that ok with you?”

Now angered, he responded, “It’s Ray-mon!”

This is aggressively stupid.

The sub laughed and said “Alright everyone, do you want to see Ray-man vs. your sub in bad-min-ton?”

A lot of us screamed “Yeah!” and so the game ensued.

Raymon seemed to get hit with the birdie more than the actual racket did. We kept laughing because he was trying so hard to look cool but kept failing repeatedly and as a result, looked completely goofy.

I’m actually decent at badminton, and it’s honestly not very hard, so this guy is apparently just really uncoordinated.

After the teacher had scored on him for the 10th time Raymon threw down his racket.

The teacher loudly asked, “So is that game? No more bad-min-ton?”

Trying to sound tough Raymon screamed, “This is a sissy game anyway!”

Shut your face.

Someone watching yelled to everyone “Uh oh watch out he might try to shoot us too!”

Who the fuck would say that?

Why the fuck would you say that?

Like, holy fuck that is not okay on every level.

We all went silent; one girl jumped up and walked off in a hurry. I could see she was holding her cries in until she could get out of the room.

A valid response, Jesus Christ. The insensitive asshole who said the deserves a kick to the teeth.

Raymon angrily looked over at the person who made the comment. The individual who yelled put their head down.

In what fucking world would it be okay to make a joke like that after something like this happened? In the place it happened?

This person would be suspended. They’d be in huge trouble. Jesus Christ I hate this book more than any book I’ve ever read. This makes Blood Raining Night look like fucking Shakespeare. I had more fun reading My Immortal than I have had reading a single letter of this drivel. At least My Immortal doesn’t rely on shock and outrage to forward its (dubious) storyline, it’s just pure insanity. But at least it’s fun insanity.

This is just nihilistic, pretentious insanity.

They were obviously trying to avoid being pierced by Raymon’s glare. Raymon then furiously walked off, throwing a tantrum by kicking a garbage can while pulling off his shirt as he passed through the boys’ locker room entrance.

A VALID FUCKING RESPONSE.

“Alright everyone, pick a partner and start playing!” the teacher said just before following Raymon into the locker room.

Honestly, I’d worry if he was okay. In no way was the shooting Raymon’s fault, and I cannot fathom why that person said that to him. That last section was wholly unnecessary.

Naturally Abbi was on my team and we played against a couple of people who were equally unenthusiastic about the sport so we basically just stood around talking about how dorky our uniforms were and basically anything we could to keep our minds preoccupied.

Usually not what I talked about while playing badminton in high school PE, but to each their own, I suppose.

Later that night at dinner, we had to put together a makeshift chair for Rick as Abbi was still staying with us.

A makeshift chair??? What would that even look like? A bunch of pots stacked on top of each other? A stump cut from the back yard? Do they not have like, a folding chair or even a stool? Why the hell does he get a makeshift chair?

My mom began to talk about their move “So Rick let me know he’s happy to help cover your food, utilities etcetera while you stay here in the condo.” she said, Abbi and I looked at each other happily and hugged excited that it was confirmed. Abbi and I didn’t have to move anywhere.

Okay, let me get this straight.

James’ mom is just completely fine with her teenaged son living with his also teenaged girlfriend in a condo, alone, and is just chill with having her rich boyfriend who she has been dating for not nearly long enough pay for food and utilities? And said rich boyfriend is also fine with doing this?

She’s just… fine with this? In what goddamn world would any parent allow that? She deserves to have CPS called on her.

I’m going to walk into the goddamn ocean if this is just an excuse to get rid of adult supervision so these two idiots can have copious amounts of sex that I will then have to read with my two eyes.

My mom continued, “Your sister is going to come with us.”

I looked at my sister and asked, “What’s up sis?”

She just pushed food around on her plate and mumbled, “It’s whatever. I don’t want to talk about it.”

My mom gave me a look that I should just drop it, so I did.

Okay, why though? If we’re going by this logic, why isn’t his sister staying behind with them? She goes to the same school and is half way through her senior year, it would be stupid to rip her away from school so close to graduation.

I had a friend in high school whose father got a new job that sent the family to Hawaii, but she wanted to stay and finish high school, so she stayed with a friend for the school year. But the difference there is that she was staying with adults instead of alone in a house her parents paid for. She was a minor, and not an emancipated one, so she had to stay with a guardian by law. This whole thing makes absolutely zero fucking sense.

Abbi squeezed my hand; she was still smiling widely at me. I was pretty overwhelmed with what this all meant as well. One of the greatest pending burdens hovering over my head had been removed from my life completely. However ridiculous it sounds, knowing I could be separated from Abbi, to me, was the equivalent of a doctor telling me I might have cancer, only to reveal later, it was nothing. I felt like I was getting my life back, without ever really having it taken away in the first place.

Okay. I can put up with a lot without getting utterly furious, but that pisses me off. You do not get to compare almost having to move away from your girlfriend to a possible diagnosis of cancer. My mother just recently beat cancer, and the effect that this diagnosis had on my family when it was given was earth shattering. It was not even comparable to having to move away from a significant other. It was one of the hardest, most terrifying periods my family has ever been through, and it traumatized my sister, effecting her in ways that it didn’t affect me or my father. It was horrifying, all of it, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Onion is an insensitive dickweed, and the fact that this comparison was even made is insulting. Having to leave a significant other is sad, sure, but it is not on the same level as a life changing diagnosis like fucking cancer. Don’t you dare make that comparison, you fucking ingrate.

Onision, fuck you. I hope you choke on your next meal, wherever you are.

Back to this stupid fucking trash book.

After dinner, Abbi and I cuddled in bed while listening to some of her favorite bands. She would sing along to the songs, knowing most the words, as I just kept my eyes closed, paying close attention to how her skin felt pressed against mine.

In that room alone with her, I often found myself feeling like nothing else mattered. She gave all my senses something to devour to the point where I began to feel like the rest of the world barely existed at all.

The level of obsession James has with her is not healthy. A person’s life should not merely revolve around their partner. At least, nobody mentally well and stable.

I fell asleep listening to the sound of her beautiful voice, softly singing.

Great. I love that this book has inspired rage among the bottomless void of utter apathy that I’ve been feeling thus far. Makes for an amazing and totally not draining reading experience.

Now, I have come to a very obvious conclusion. Onision, Greg, whatever you call yourself nowadays, I frankly don’t care. I don’t know if he’ll ever see this, and I don’t care about that either, because interacting with him sounds like an exhausting waste of time, but I need to say this anyway.

Onision Gregory James Jackson cannot write. He cannot create interesting characters or stories, and he uses topics that need to be handled with respect and care as plot devices. Abhorrently, he uses horrible, traumatic events as some sick form of character development, but these events that are supposed to cause character development cause none of the aforementioned at all. All of these characters are more static than a broken television, and have the same amount of flavor as a single slice of white bread. I also hate all of them. He has been given every opportunity to improve, but refuses criticism, one of the main things that helps a writer grow. I value criticism above all else as a writer, and without it and the practice at my craft, I would not be where I am today.

Also, Greggy-poo, if you do see this, you can’t get this review taken down. You can’t do shit. Because this is transformative content since it’s commentary. I am adding my own insight into this, and making it into something new, and it is therefore protected by fair use. And I’ll just keep on posting.

Whatever. I’ll see you later.

—Kat

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