#like nobody was like ''what the fuck you brought a LITERAL CHILD to a dangerous fight between adults AND HE GOT HURT??''

[foone]

Idea: an inverted seniority robot race: the youngest robots are the most senior, because every robot is a virtual machine platform. At "birth", each parent robot donates a copy of their own VM platform to their child. The VMs they run are their minds.

So each robot is running their own mind, plus a copy(or more) of each of their ancestors. Each robot has the knowledge and skills and memories of all their ancestors, so the youngest are the most knowledgeable, with the oldest being the most ignorant.

It's a little like the human idea of a kind of immortality though having children, except literally. The last copy of you can't die until all your descendants do.

Thus we have a good reason for robots to reproduce: it's immortality through duplication.

It also, amusingly, gives you a reason why robots would have a human-like incest taboo: if your parents have any ancestors in common, you'd inherit multiple copies of that person. And you have to keep both copies because they've diverged since then: one copy has been living in one parent for years, another copy in another. They have different experiences now, and are distinct people. This adds complexity and headaches and is generally a bad idea: you want as many distinct experiences as possible, not nearly-redundant copies of the same people.

If you want to think of it in human terms, this sort of robot reproduction is kind of like being plural, but getting your parents as headmates at birth. And then it turns they brought along all their headmates: their parents, and their parents headmates, and their parents' headmates' parents, and so on until you get to The First Robot.

This both:

1. Explains how a robot made in a factory has "parents": it's nothing biological, a robot's parents are the robots who copied their VM stacks into the newly made robot. (also: there's no limit on how many parents you could have. Why not have it be like 20 robots? That makes a better robot, because it's a robot with More Robot per Robot!

2. Makes the death of any robot a fucking tragedy (I mean, more so than any person dying is). You shoot a human and one person dies, you shoot a robot and you kill millions. This suggests the robots are going to be very cautious, as if they are in danger it threatens an city's worth of souls. If nothing else, it suggests some unique trolly problem solutions: like someone threatens a robot with a knife (ok... Screwdriver? Soldering Iron?) and the robot instantly snipes them in the head with a laser. It was the lives of millions vs one person, what's the problem?

It also would be interesting for any traditional sophonts who know robots. Imagine you make friends with a robot while serving on a distant space station, then lose touch for a while. You hear through the exonet that they died when an orbital shuttle was shot down, and the next time you're in the area you see another robot that looks vague like them. You go up to introduce yourself, to see if they knew your friend, but before you can even open your mouth a different face appears on the robot's CRT head. It's your friend. "oh hey Daviid, how's it going?" like no time had passed and nobody had died.

(the robots call this thing where a personality is in control "fronting", because you're being displayed on the front monitor)

PS: before anyone replies, I know of and don't care about the geth

[mister-tom-a-dildo-lover]

Someone Liked this old post of mine and brought to mind something...

[The Post] was about how Tom Riddle was literally fucked over from the start and how nobody actually decided to try and teach him to be better.

Anyway, a common, defensive response on this post was the recurring, "Why is it Dumbledore's job to intervene?" along with a laundry list of excuses for why he shouldn't be held accountable for what happened to Tom, Severus, and Harry. etc etc...

Mind you, Dumbledore felt it was his right to intervene. To scare a 10 y/o into behaving by setting his only worldly possessions on fire in front of him as a lesson. He admits to this very tactic when Tom tries to apply for the DADA position for a second time. So why the hell aren't we allowed to criticize him for knowing full-well this kid was fucked up and doing nothing about it?

Many people, by making the claim that it isn't the Deputy Headmaster's job to watch out for the well-being of his students, sound like they are saying that they would never step in if they saw a child they aren't related to, at risk of harming themselves or others, because they don't think it's their job or duty to do so.

"Well, I saw the boy carrying a gun to school but as he's not my kid why should I have said something?" IDK, Karen, maybe because he could harm other people and it would be in yours and everyone else's best interest to put a stop to it before it gets bad and then GETS WORSE. This is a matter of common sense and common decency. Normal people would be worried about some kid being a potential danger to others and would say something or try to raise a red flag as a warning to others instead of holding their opinions in and plotting behind the scenes.

I don't understand how this is considered unfair of me to expect that a guy would do right not only by the kid himself, but by the students he's about to be exposed to. He believed, in his heart of hearts, that this kid is a psychopath after one conversation in which he got a woman shitfaced to hear her biased opinions, and then one conversation where he talked to him and decided speaking to snakes was the ultimate sign of evil.

Dumbledore just kept this shit to himself. And guess what? He does this over and over. Potential terrorist in the school who could hurt the children(Quirrelmort, Lockhart)? Nah, fam. Keep it close to the chest. Dangerous information that people NEED to know for their own safety? Nah, fam. Keep it close to the chest. Children being abused and need saving? Nah, fam. Keep it close to the chest.

And the results are: an up-and-coming Dark Lord, up-and-coming Death Eater(s?), deaths/tortures of people barely out of their teenhood, more abused children, and many other problematic things all because he won't share what he knows or believes.

BUT NOOOOOOO! I'm the bad guy because I think a teacher who inserts himself into everyone's business so they all look to him for permission and guidance, should have actually done something to help the troubled child he was in charge of for 10 months out of the year for 7 years.

[that-one-pretty-bitch]

So, I was explaining the plot of Obey me! shall we date to @loekas​ 

And here it is:

FYI: Everyone in Obey me! is emotionally constipated as F U C K

I just know that the Obey me lovers are about to come for my soul

Lucifer- pride

Basically a total asshole and prick. He constantly overworks himself. He has threatened to kill the MC many many times. He punishes his brothers in cruel ways. ( A sadist ) To make things better though, he is hot, i’ll give him that.

Mammon- Greed

A thief, will fucking steal from you. He is the MC's best friend and fandom's favorite although he acts greedy like my little brother during Christmas so I fail to see the appeal and cry blood whenever I see smut on him bcz he acts like a spoiled 5 yr old brat who loves his mom but will never admit it. You could hold a gun to his head and force him to say it but he will not

Leviathan- Envy

What a loser, honestly. All my man does is play video games and simp over underage waifu's. ( YOU CANT TELL ME RURI HANNA IS NOT LIKE 8 ) He 10/10 has a body pillow. Also attempted to kill the MC, even though MC is his only friend ( thats sad ). A hardcore gen z and hated by a lot of the fandom. Shut in Otaku and a creepy discord mod.

Satan- Wrath

Daddy issues who?? Lucifer is his dad and he HATES when he is compared to Lucifer because spoiled brat doesn't want to be like that "ugly old man". He was created out of Lucifer's wrath when their sister died and since then everyone sees him as a replacement for their dead sister he hates it. The kind of guy who would smash random objects when angry bcz of temper tantrums. I don’t feel bad for him because??? Daddy issues??? Suck it up, Lucifer isn’t even that bad your just salty he’s hotter. Also purge that outfit rn, that's a crime to fashion.

Asmodeus- Lust

A boy but so girlypop??( No hate I love girlypop boys ) Probs fucked every human, demon and angel in existence. Gossip queen and mean girl. Never trust him with secrets, he would tell the entire school. Horny 24/7, honestly a big cheater and fuckboy. Regina George 2.0, will make fun of your outfit because he wants to look better. That pretty girl that you go to talk to but turns out she has a nasty attitude and talks shit about everyone?? Thats him. Then he gets mad when people call him ugly??? Also compliment fishing on Insta all the time.

Beel - Gluttony ( older twin )

Genuinely sweet. Himbo, super muscular?? He plays sports, that one high school jock that EVERY girl has a crush on. Crying and temper tantrums when he is hungry and not given food. Tried to eat MC when he got hungry- but he apologized to MC and now they are cool. Man child tbh

Belphegor - Sloth ( younger twin )

I bet y’all were WAITING for my opinion on this one

I hate you. Murderer, literally everyone hates him. Nobody in the fandom likes him because he actually succeeded in killing the MC but they were brought back to life by the demon king and his butler. Dangerous mf, MC forgives him though?? Once you get to know him he is just a sleepy baby that wakes up with murder on his mind lol. But then again EVERYONE tried to kill MC, he was the only one that succeeded. Ngl he is pretty bad at pretending to be a defenseless human, I didn’t fall for it but the game made me go in there anyway.

Simeon- angel

My man could rail me but he would hate me irl. Holy man, jesus is good you all are unholy. Sweet? Kind? Talented writer? Grandpa that can't learn to use devices no matter what?? Everything I need in a man. Wears a slutty outfit but acts like he is all angelic and kind. Like- ✨sinful shoulders✨

Solomon- Sorcerer

Grandpa Sol. Can’t cook to save his like, Yor Forger level but even worse. Never eat his cooking, even Beel refuses to eat that monstrosity. Makes the most annoying dad jokes ever like stfu. Sussy Baka fr fr

Luke- cute baby angel

Simeon's adopted son, MC is his role model ( much to Simeon's dismay ) bcz my MC be unholy asf. Loves baking MC sweet things ( Luke pls can I marry your dad-? ) but hates when MC flirts with his father figure ( Isn't stopping me ) He is a chiwawa as per EVERYONE. Woof woof

Barbatos - Hot butler

The demon prince's hot servant, I like the butler kind. Would probably smile while insulting the shit out of you. WIll make you regret all your life decisions. Also has time manipulation where he can look into the future and stop it from happening by turning back time. The demon prince's father figure.

Could you please take me back to when I failed my math test and help me fix it-?

Lord Diavolo- Demon Prince

Demon prince, spoiled child, himbo, MC's source of secret income. When Lucifer doesn't let the MC or brothers do something they talk Lord Diavolo into changing Lucifer's mind. Biggest sweet tooth ever. Daddy Issues 2.0. Sugar daddy material, probably has a secret relationship with Lucifer.

Mc- Human

The most insane human being to ever exist.

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 5

In which yet another YT video comes out about how Twilight hate isn’t misogynist, actually, and so I must eat. Om nom nom

“Twilight Is Illogical!!1!1”

We literally have an in-canon explanation for how Bella’s shield works in Eclipse AND Breaking Dawn. Her shield only works against illusions and anything mental. Anything physical she is vulnerable. Jasper affects you physiologically, not mentally. Alice sees actions; she doesn’t actually get into your mind. Jane and Edward’s powers are mental, so they do not work on her. It’s literally the same logic as Harry resisting the Imperious Curse in Goblet of Fire.

(Also, Bella does have a Quileute relative, Molly Swan. Just strengthens my Jacob-as-socially-determined-mate headcanon).

“Twilight Is Pro-Life!!1!1!”

This is where Twilight clownery really delves into full-on deranged.

Every vampire in the Twilight Saga is harmful or potentially harmful to humanity, EVERYONE. The majority of the cast is (potentially) dangerous to humanity in some way, shape, or form. Calling Bella selfish for wanting her (wanted) child to be born is the height of misogyny. No mother who actually wants her child would choose differently. Bella had a plan to survive the birth—a very risky one, but she was willing to do it. And nobody and I mean nobody knew how Renesmee would turn out. This shit was unprecedented and über rare.

Bella was not willing to die for a baby. She was willing to risk her life for Edward’s child.

This was made explicit when Jacob in desperation (following a crazed Edward’s idea) offered to father her children in exchange for Bella aborting hers—only to have Bella LAUGH at him in his face. Bella dngaf about having children per se. It was because the kid she was having was Edward’s.

(Also. Rosalie wants more than a baby. Rosalie wants to be human, which to her basic-ass traditional 20th century mind includes getting married with children. A baby is part-and-parcel to that mortality. What is interesting to me is that, despite the fact that Rosalie is very trad wife and even pro-baby, the narrative still frames her as selfish and self-centered in her vicariousness. Jacob is absolutely disgusted with her for caring more about the baby than Bella, and Edward feels exactly the same way. That is one reason why Breaking Dawn is not pro life propaganda—it is above all a romance, in which Renesmee acts both as an obstacle and consummation).

Everyone was sympathetic to Leah until she became a werewolf and not only brought her baggage but would deliberately bring it up to hurt Sam. Yeah, no shit the Quileute boys would hate her, ditto Jacob. Only when she joined Jacob’s pack did she lighten up (because she was free from Sam!) and Jacob realized she wasn’t bad, just dealing with a broken heart. And honestly a very capable werewolf.

As for Rosalie, nobody hated her for her backstory either. Bella disliked her because Rosalie hated her and wouldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her! Edward hated her as a brother “hates” his sister with two very different personalities. Rosalie’s backstory was very much meant to humanize her.

Twilight Is Racist Round ♾️

Literally every major character is magical. This is a fucking fantasy romance novel! Had the Quileutes been the only magical entities, Clown OP may have had a point. But not in this literal supernatural romance where even regular humans can have magical powers! What is this deranged clownery?

Twilight Is Sexist Round ♾️

“I’ve only ever watched the movies, but—” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Bella didn’t feel like she fit in with her peers because she was essentially raised as a parent to take care of her mother. As in, paying bills. She didn’t have a normal childhood; that was denied her. Getting out of her parentification is part of her arc and drives a key part of her desire to be with Edward. Edward she never has to parent or take care of in the same way as her parents or even Jacob.

Also, her friends were canonically fake (Angela excepted). Jessica only was friends with her because of Mike’s interest and of the boys only Mike, Ben, and Tyler were interested. Lauren straight up didn’t like her.

“Twilight Is Mormon!1!!111”

Clown OP was this close to getting it. This close.

“Twilight Is ~~~So Ridiculous!!1!!”

Or it could be just basic-ass standard tropes for supernatural/paranormal romance. Y’know, since Twilight is a supernatural/paranormal romance.

…Yeah, this clown definitely hasn’t read enough romance novels, lol. Because let me tell you, Twilight is super sane compared to the shit I have read, i.e. bodice rippers.

And all those bodice rippers were nothing compared to the telenovelas I grew up with. Nothing.

[artemismoorea03]

The Batfam had rules for every situation, but one general rule was the "Thirty Minutes of Silence" rule. If a call was cut short or somebody was alone they had to check in every thirty minutes or tell the team that they were going 'radio silent' which pushed this time to forty-five minutes. Even if it was just two taps on the communicator it would be counted as a check in because it was a deliberate action that proved they were still there and okay.

Nobody was more consistent with these check ins than Batman which is why when thirty-five minutes passed of silence the team - or rather Oracle - was getting concerned. The team had been spread thin with a new batch of unusual weapons being brought into Gotham, all powered by a green liquid that was nearly identical to Lazarus Water. Or rather 85% consistent with Lazarus Water. While the rest of the team was in charge of gathering the weapons up Batman was going solo to to track the largest of the energy sources the weapon put out that appeared in the nearby mountains.

But there hadn't been a checkin from batman in thirty-five - no thirty-six - minutes. Oracle was concerned, the rest of the team were starting to get concerned as they wrapped up their mission.

Thirty-seven minutes passed when suddenly the tracker on the Batmobile suddenly jumped to life as it began to rapidly fly down the mountain. Still though, there wasn't a check in.

"The Batmobile is on the move." Oracle reported to the team.

"Any word from B? He okay?" Nightwing asked.

"Nothing yet, patching into the dashboard cam now." Oracle muttered, sharing the findings to the Batcave computer as the image came into view.

Batman was in the passenger seat, his mask partially ripped with blood pouring down the side of his face as well as a multitude of other wounds covering him. As for who was driving it was a literal child, probably around 14 who wasn't looking much better off. He had a black eye, multiple cuts and bruises covering him, his black hair was sticking to his face, his blue eyes looking exhausted, but the bigger emotion was anger.

"I told you I had it covered, you damn furry!" The teen said, suddenly yanking the wheel one direction as their was an explosion behind them. "Ack! Hey! I'm not sure if this is insured, back off!" He shouted towards the window.

Oracle frowned, "Oracle to Batman, come in Batman." She said, not showing the cams from the cave or her area to hopefully leave the kid in the dark about the fact that they could see him.

"Oh shit. Uh... hello? Can you-" Another explosion as the Batmobile spun, then the kid straightened it out and tore off down the road at an incredibly dangerous speed for a mountain path. "Can you hear me?"

"Who is this? Where's Batman?"

"Uh... he kind of got between me and a Vampire. He's hurt - bad but he's with me and he's alive."

"A vampire?"

"Yeah. A vampire who needs to BACK OFF BECAUSE WHAT PART OF THIS IS THE BATMOBILE AND HE JUST FUCKIN' ATTACKED BATMAN DOES HE NOT UNDERSTAND, THAT'S AN UNNECESSARY RISK EVEN FOR HIM!" He shouted, opening the window this time as there was a laugh and talking that Oracle couldn't quite make out.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Danny, just Danny."

"Okay, just Danny. Tell me what happened." She said, sending the location of the batmobile to the team so they could go an intercept. "How did you end up with Batman?"

"I didn't mean to. I-I didn't even know we were near Gotham! I thought the Fruitloop took me to Wisconsin or Colorado like he normally does when he kidnaps me but this is risky, even for him. Next thing I knew I'm locked up and being tortured - fuck." The kid suddenly gripped the wheel tighter as the camera, mic and signal cut out for a second before it appeared on a lower path that was an impossible distance from where he'd just been, as though it had just sank through the ground and reappeared on the other side. "Ugh, doesn't he know when to quit. Anyways, Batman showed up a while ago, found me and freed me! I told him to leave that this wasn't his fight but that I appreciated the save, but he didn't believe me and protected me from the Fruitloop instead of just letting me take the hit."

"You keep calling this vampire 'Fruitloop' is that his name."

The kid laughed, sounding exhausted. "You know, it might as well be. Yo, Plasmius how about you change your name to Fruitloop! That way any dating sites you get on will know to stay away from your lonely ass?!"

Plasmius.

She quickly searched up the name and glared. Plasmius as a name wasn't common but when mixed with Vampire a result pulled up.

"Plasmius? Like the rumored 'Wisconsin Ghost'?"

"You've heard of him?"

"No, but I'm the Queen of Google. Tell me about him?"

"He wants my dad dead and wants my mom to marry him and for me to become his son. Basically he's a greedy selfish bastard who likes to kidnap teenage boys out from in front of their school during lunch." Danny said, as the Batmobile drifted down a sharp turn at a speed that was incredibly risky and unnerving for Oracle to see. "Or in this case from right outside of their House in the dead of the night. You know, typical Fruitloop behavior."

Oracle frowned and could already feel herself making a mental checklist of how many boxes in the Batfam Adoption Sheet this kid filled out.

"How old are you Danny?"

"I just turned 15."

Fifteen. Black hair. Blue eyes. Kidnapped more than once apparently. Tortured. More boxes.

She hummed, quickly running facial recognition on the kid as she asked the next question. "Okay, back to Batman, how's he doing?"

"Well considering you haven't asked until now I'm assuming you can see him, right? Head wound, probably a concussion, but Plasmius also punched him. I'd expect broken or bruised ribs as well as plasma burns if the suit doesn't protect from that kind of thing. Plasmius didn't get many hits in before I got to him though, so he should be-" Danny gasped as the car suddenly slid to a stop before something unexpected happened and his eyes glowed green as he glared out the window.

Finally Oracle could hear the voice.

"Come now, Little Badger, as fun as this chase has been we have business to attend to, and we very well can't let or new friends down, hm? After all think of all those innocent people in Gotham who could be helped by what we're doing."

"Don't go there, Plasmius! You don't want to help them or the Ghosts in Gotham! You just want more money, power and control than you already have by using me."

"What did you expect, hm? You ruined my plans months ago and took a position that's not yours to have. Your power should have been my power and since you insist on ruining my plans then I have no other choice but to work around your meddling. So, Your Magesty. Get out of the car or I will drag your new friend out of the car by his throat and show him just how dangerous we can be."

Oracle had many questions but more concerns. This Plasmius character was clearly more dangerous than they were giving them credit for.

"Danny."

"Yeah?" He whispered.

"Do you see that Blue button near your left thumb?"

"Uh... yeah, why?"

"That's the thrusters. Help is coming and will be waiting for you at the base of the mountain. The Batmobile is armored so it can take a tumble. Hit the purple button on the dash then punch the blue button."

Danny pushed the purple button as the seatbelts wrapped around both him at Batman, crossing over their chests in an X to provide maximum protection. Danny then smiled, gripping the wheel.

"Okay. Tell the bats we're coming in hot." Danny said, pushing the button.

Once again the Batmobile jumped to start, ripping down the road passing by Plasmius who let out an alarmed shout. Only then did the facial recognition finally ping.

Danny Fenton from Amity Park Illinois which was over 800 miles from Gotham City. He hadn't been reported missing by anybody, but his last check in at school was over two months ago.

Three days before the strange guns began to show up on the streets of Gotham.

Oracle muted her mic with Danny before she got on call with the others. "All bats be advised that we need to bring Danny to the cave. From the information we have he might be able to tell us about the energy signature as well as more about this 'Plasmius' but remember that this kid is a victim not a suspect." She said, then switched back to Danny who despite the speeds they were going seemed to be handling the speed and car well.

"Hey, Oracle..? You still there?"

"Yeah, Danny, I'm here."

"How do I stop?"

Oracle chuckled, "The breaks will stop you, even at this speed."

"Oh good... um... Batman and the Bats... they're good right? They listen? They don't just assume even if the information might say something is bad they'll listen..? B-because there's a lot of bad information out there. Information that could hurt people or cause a war... a-and I don't want people to get hurt because of it..."

Oracle frowned, "They'll listen to you Danny. We all will... I promise."

"Good. Good... oh! I see Nightwing!"

"Great, go ahead and pull up then stop. They'll take over from there."

"Alright. Oracle?"

"Yes, Danny?"

"Thanks for the save."

"Don't thank me, Danny. Thank you for saving Batman, you were a hero out there."

The look that crossed his face in that moment was one of surprise and relief as though she had just put a fear of his to rest. A look she hoped she would get to see again some day when they finally got him feeling safe.

Danny’s Wild Ride

Another week, another prompt.

Batman was out investigating a new weapon energy source while the rest of the Batfam was fighting those smuggling said weapons into Gotham. He took the Batmobile, which hadn’t been moving for the last few hours, and is now racing around the surrounding mountains, like a bat out of hell.

So they call the Batmobile. And instead of Batman, they see an bat-doption bait driving the Batmobile. With explosions going off in the background. And Batman with a bleeding head slumped in the passenger seat.

[tabbytiger]

Girlies I am so concern w my brain /rant

TL:DR My psychotic ass is going more crazy than it already was, and also dissociative amnesia needs to get off my dick because Its starting to become a danger.

I’m so glad I wrote down all the details i could remember from that near miss while I still could recall it bc that was yesterday and I can feel it’s already starting to fade away again.

Nobody honking or anything is really throwing me off bc now I’m sitting here like “Did it actually happen or did I make this up or was it a dream that I had?”

Like I’m going to forget it entirely again soon and theres nothing I can do about it.

I should be idk like going thru ptsd or something I quite literally was going to die. But I’m still sitting here feeling fine and normal, and I was fine and normal when it happened too. I don’t feel anything about it and thats really concerning me.

Instead of like being distraught over the near miss instead I cried in my car in a dmv parking lot for literally 4 hours because I was like “Why the fuck am I starting to lose days, weeks, months and even years.”

I’m not quite blacking out in the middle of a day or anything but I am only remembering bits and pieces of a day and I’m recalling things out of order. I’ve always dealt with dissociation but its never been quite this bad.

Also I’m just like. I don’t know what to believe because I have psychosis.

I’ve just been lying in bed with thoughts looping in my mind and it all looks like this:

Do I have Schizophrenia? What if this is a delusion? Maybe I just think I have it but I don’t and its making up false memories or something to go with it. Are all the stuff that I remember going through when I was a child real? Did I make that up too? If I already feel like I didn’t exist the previous days or weeks then how do I know it happened? I see that I typed out all these messages but I really feel disconnected from the person that wrote them even if that was me on that date and time.

I’m forgetting earlier points brought up literally minutes ago in a conversation, and I’m going in and out the whole time so I’m not even hearing the full thing. Its so bad that when before I would misplace like 1 thing and then find it later.

Now its like, me spinning in circles because i keep thinking about doing something while I’m actively doing something else and I’ll forget that I haven’t done what I was thinking of doing and believe that I did it only to run back downstairs because I indeed, did not do it.

Like the number of times I have left for work at 3:30am thinking and REMEMBERING that I actively put my key in, turning the lock, and locking the door, only to come back home 8 hours later to my dad telling me I didn’t lock the door.

My dad has also told me a handful of times before about something I apparently said but I don’t remember saying it in the way that he’s recalling it, and I’ll be like “I don’t remember saying that” and he’ll be like “whats wrong with you, that’s exactly what you said” but I’m suspicious that he’s making stuff up and maybe hes pulling one of his “not funny and hard to tell if he’s serious or not” jokes.

Though I’ve also had instances on VC with friends where I’ll apparently say something and forget that I said it, cuz they’ll be like “thats what you said you literally JUST said it” and I’ll be like “huh?? I don’t remember saying that” except my friends wouldn’t lie to me and try to make me think I did something I don’t remember doing so I’m just like “I can’t trust my own memory 🥴”

I was so distraught driving home I missed the 1st ramp to get on the highway, and I was actively fighting not to dissociate while driving I missed my exit and had to drive over the white lanes back into a lane. How I remembered getting home and getting there is a miracle at this point.

I think its definitely saying something if me almost dying have no effect on me, and when I think about if I had died I’m still apathetic and neutral. And part of that is also because I have been dying so much lately in my dreams (Sometimes I wake up confused because I thought that dream was real and actually happened) that I’m just like.

“Its okay If I did die, It’ll only hurt for a second, and I’ll feel regret, and then grief but then everything will be calm and all that would have happen would be that I just quietly drift off into the nothingness and It’ll be the most peaceful last thing I’ll remember.”

Like this happened recently and I deadass shot up in bed and I was so confused and disoriented I was literally making sure my body was there and that I could feel. Bc I was like “Did I reincarnate?? Did I reincarnate and very soon I’ll forget all of my past life and this is the last thought I’ll ever have of my old self?” but like no bitch its called waking up 🥴😭

[kinnoth]

hi!! i saw your note about tony stark and that you hate him. can i ask why?

Ah buddy

Look, I got nothing against people who like characters/ships I don't like. I don't bother them, they don't bother me. Everyone has a right to exist; everybody has a right to connect to whichever fictional character they want. I've liked characters several multitudes more problematic than Tony Stark myself, the only difference is that I cared about their damage more than I disliked their impact on the world.

But if you're really asking, I'll leave the link to my avengers megathreads here if you really wanna get in depth with it.

Basically he's emblematic of everything the mid 2000s thought a Cool Guy was: a techbro ultracapitalist authoritarian who thinks all elements of the world would be better off if he owned it and all people would be better off if only they would let him be in control. He's irreverent! He's wisecracking! He thinks his endless wealth makes him invincible and boy is society gonna let him prove it!

Like, unfortunately, if we're gonna be fans of the MCU, we have to accept that the MCU is an unsubtle vehicle for casual authoritarianism. Every avenger is a cop; every moral lesson is that we need to trust our police state and, for our own safety, allow them to take from us our self-determination. There's a reason why every avengers movie has borrowed so heavily from the 9/11 imagery of the towers coming down. There's a reason why, despite the vague politics of every avengers movie, the end conclusion is always "no public institution is gonna be as cool or effective as a private army"

There's a reason we have people laudably comparing IRL suckhole Elon Musk to Tony Stark as if anything Elon Musk does or has ever done is worthy of praise or commendation.

We're never going to stop worshipping billionaires if we don't stop worshipping billionaires.

Tony Stark IS a tool of our oppressors.

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

[yuujism]

Sun and Night. (gojo satoru x reader)

Chapter 2: Need

← chapter 1 | chapter 3 →

| PAIRINGS: gojo satoru x reader; hints of getou suguru x reader x gojo satoru

| WARNINGS: ⚠️ SPOILERS FOR HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC ⚠️ suggestive language, toxicity, toxic gojo, toxic reader, angst, grammar errors

| WORD COUNT: idk lol i’ll count it later

| A/N: this is the second chapter of sun and night!! just didn’t want to make it into one chapter because personally i kinda get tired of reading ?? idk so i’m dividing into 3-4 chapters hehe!! so you can see where this is going with this chapter !! next chapter will have some smut so yeah 😎 hope you like it

summary;

You and Satoru were in love.

You were both so deeply in love, just not with each other.

Where you and Satoru found comfort in each other after the accident happened.

Chapter 2: Need

It was really obvious.

The way Satoru treated you was different since that day and everyone noticed it. You couldn’t bring yourself to care though.

Years passed after Suguru’s death, marking a before and after in both you and Satoru’s lives. Your mind and body grew tired of the mourning and the countless of lonely nights filled with tears and regrets, the whisper of your name coming to you like a fantasy. Like a memory that never really happened.

Satoru tried to get busy in an attempt to not think back at his best friend, getting into teaching and being a pain in the ass to the higher ups. It seemed way too Satoru-like: acting like nothing ever happened.

The hatred you felt towards the strongest sorcerer quickly became an envy you couldn’t hide.

You envied how easy it was for him to forget Suguru, remembering the way he couldn’t even tell you your first love died right in front of his eyes. You envied how strong he was and how different you were in every aspect of your life. You envied the way Satoru could just keep going with his life.

The both of you didn’t try to hide the bad blood between you, disregarding and ignoring each other outside the mandatory professional interactions you had. When asked about by your students, the same answer was given from the two sorcerers:

“We just don’t get along.”

And it was the truth. You didn’t get along.

Even when you tried to remember a friendly interaction between you and Satoru when Suguru was still alive, nothing came to your mind.

Satoru could’ve decided to hide his hatred towards you, he just didn’t want to. He didn’t even bother to hide the drop of his smile whenever someone mentioned you or whenever you entered the room. He still thought you didn’t deserve Suguru, not as much as he did at least. And that made Satoru’s blood boil.

He was the one who heard Suguru’s last words. He was the one who Suguru trusted in. He was the one. Enough said.

Of course you were aware of that. After all, they were both with and for each other. Even if it hurt your pride to admit, you were not stupid enough to deny the adoration those two had for one another.

You were just glad Satoru never brought the topic to the table and didn’t seem to have any intentions for it.

Or so you thought.

It wasn’t till the both of you were paired for a mission in the woods that everything started to go downhill for the third time in your whole fucked up relationship.

In the end, Satoru did most of the work. You really didn’t know why Yaga kept pairing you both when he knew Satoru was capable enough to take any curse by himself. It irritated you to no end how Yaga kept being a stoic asshole after all these years.

And Satoru knew that as well. You couldn’t even miss the cocky remarks he would do after every mission.

Unluckily for you more than for him, your patience wasn’t having it this time.

“Yay! Another job well done by me!” Satoru cheered for himself as he walked in front of you as he removed his blindfold to put his sunglasses on, raising his long arms in victory before turning back to face you, a sneer on his face. “Anyway, good job, I guess.”

Satoru wasn’t quick enough to turn around before he saw your whole cold facade crumble in front of his eyes, the words coming out of your mouth catching him off guard.

“Fuck, don’t you ever shut the fuck up?” You couldn’t stop yourself from gradually exploding, the fiercely murmur barely reaching Satoru’s ears who just grinned maliciously.

“Why are you mad? I just told you good job” His as-a-matter-of-factly tone didn’t help your anger, noticing how he also stopped in his spot to look down on you from afar. “You really get mad at everything. Not getting laid?”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, walking past him not really being in the mood to argue with a man hitting his thirties acting like an actual child.

God, you were better than this. Better than him in this way at the very least.

“Or still can’t get over your unrequited love?”

Now, Satoru knew that was a low blow, even for himself. But oh, how he hated you. How he liked to see your face twist into pain and anger because of his snarky comments. You deserved it. You deserved to be hated by him and he would show it any chance he got. Satoru was ready for your outburst, maybe expecting you to use your technique against him and show you how useless it was.

But what he didn’t expect was for you to stop in your tracks and turn around calmly, a lot more clam than what Satoru liked.

Your eyes locked on his for the first time since your first discussion years ago and Satoru tensed under your gaze. He didn’t want you to look through him again, but he knew you had already seen everything you needed to see.

A nostalgic yet mocking grin adorned your face, not quite reaching your empty eyes.

“Never thought it would be you to bring up these feelings after all this time.”

And, this time, it was Satoru’s facade that crumbled down.

Because it was true. Neither of you ever mentioned Suguru to each other or the feelings you both knew you had towards the deceased sorcerer. Because, unknowingly, Satoru just admitted how jealous he also felt that you felt the same for Suguru.

No, not the same.

“Feelings?” Satoru mocked you with a twisted smirk as he took off his glasses, eyes filled with a fire you couldn’t describe. “Don’t make me laugh. You didn’t have feelings for him. Suguru was just a whim for you!”

This was the second time Satoru yelled at you and it almost felt like a deja vu. You jolted, the tone of his voice reaching deep within you to light the same fire that was burning in those blue eyes. You were glad you were still in the outside where nobody could stop or hear you.

“You really are thick in the head, aren’t you?” You yelled back, walking towards him in an agressive manner. “A whim? A fucking whim?” You laughed painfully, stopping inches away from him. “I loved Suguru more than you could ever imagine. What? Too jealous you weren’t the only one down bad? Oh! Boohoo!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” He bit back, throwing his glasses to the side to grab you by the collar. “You don’t even deserve to love Suguru! I do! He was my one and only, not yours. I did more for him than you ever did in your pathetic life!”

“Fuck off! Don’t you think I didn’t know that?!” God, you hated the way how your voice cracked in the end in front of him, tears creeping to your eyes as your hands flew to Satoru’s wrists. His infinity was surprisingly off. “I fucking knew it! God, the way you looked at him was enough for me to know you loved him just as much...” Tears started rolling down your cheeks, Satoru’s grip tightening. “I envied you for that. Fuck, I even envy how you don’t feel pain anymore.”

Satoru really didn’t mean to let this escalate this far, but what kind of bullshit were you spitting now? He was so angry, he didn’t even care about the fact your small hands and nails were digging into his skin.

“Are you dumb enough to believe I don’t think about what I could’ve done differently every day of my life?” Satoru’s tone was low now, blue eyes piercing into you with disdain. “I blame myself for his death. Do you? Tell me right now. Do you blame yourself?”

“Yes.” The lack of hesitation made Satoru let out a snort, and you didn’t let him interrupt you with his complaining again. “I blame myself as much as I blame you. While we were busy trying to get stronger after what happened with Master Tengen, he was suffering and we didn’t notice. We didn’t want to notice.”

Silence sourrounded you both, the grip on your collar loosening as the seconds passed by. You knew Satoru was having a hard time processing all this. The emotions, the discussion, letting out everything he hid for years and finally accepting your feelings towards Suguru. As if he was the one who decided on who could love him and who couldn’t.

His gaze never left your face, trying to deny the undeniable: all those times years ago, even when he thought he was doing a great job at hiding it, you could see right through him. You knew how much Satoru loved Suguru and you knew how he also swept Suguru’s feelings under the rug. You were just like him.

But, fuck, how he hated you.

How he hated your now soft eyes looking at him as if he was an injured lamb crying for help. How even if he towered over you as he had you in a strong grip, you didn’t seem to flinch over your next actions. Hated the way your hands made their way to the sides of his face, the coldness sending shivers down his spine as his breath hitched in his throat.

But what Satoru hated the most was the way he was probably feeling the same as you right now.

He wasn’t going to deny it anymore. At least, not this time.

“You know I hate you, right?” Satoru whispered, letting go of your collar to place his large hands on the sides of your neck, face a breath away from yours.

The faint brush of his lips against yours sent mixed signals to your brain. Don’t do it. This is a mistake. That’s dangerous territory. He’s literally Gojo Satoru.

But, holy hell, the way his hands travelled down your sides, reaching your hips after leaving a trail of fire on your skin, made you throw every worry out of the window. You needed this.

You both needed this.

“Yes, I know.”

And that was enough for Satoru to capture your lips in a feral kiss, the grip on your hips pulling you close to his body as your hands tangled in his white locks, pulling harshly as your tongues fought each other for dominance. You almost missed the way Satoru whined against your mouth at a certain pull on his hair, nails digging into the flesh of your hips as he grinded his growing erection against your stomach. And it really felt heavenly, having this anger come out through this kiss was the best option you could find.

But something was off.

Even if Satoru was the one kissing you as if his life depended on it, you couldn’t help but picture Suguru. His voice, his touch, his scent... everything was Suguru. A mere fantasy again and this time it hurt more than you think it would.

“S-Satoru, hold up.” You mumbled between kisses, trying to pull away by pushing him by his chest.

Satoru looked at you through half-lidded eyes, panting through parted lips the same as you as you stared at each other with guilt in your eyes. His hold in your hips released to place them in your cheeks, almost as if he was trying to make sure you were actually you. And that’s when realisation hit you like a truck.

“You...” You started hesitantly, looking down at your own hands on his chest. “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

A second. Then two. Then a few other more passed and Satoru just seemed to have had a bucket of cold ice water thrown at him. It was almost as if you were inside of his own head. It was annoying.

“Fuck.” Satoru growled, finally pulling away from you as both of his hands ran through his hair desperately, turning away from your figure. “Fuck, I’m... I mean, yes, I was thinking of... Fuck!”

God, he was spiralling again. Of course he was thinking of Suguru. Satoru was thinking of your lips being Suguru’s, your touch, everything. Fulfilling the dream he could never live. And now you were probably going to have an argument again about how that kiss was a mist—

“Satoru.” Your hand on his back made him jolt, slapping himself mentally for not turning his infinity on after getting away from you.

He turned to face you, your features giving him a sweet smile as your other hand reached for the side of his face once again. Satoru didn’t like the way his heart jumped at your touch.

“It’s okay,” You murmured lowly, pulling Satoru close to your face once again as he calmed down. Your now warm hands reached behind his neck this time, his hands instinctively flying to your waist as your bodies got close to each other. Satoru was putty in your hands once again as he looked down at your parted lips.

“I was thinking about him too.”

[gnocchighoul]

Operation Hot Potato

Summary: 

“See? She’s just a baby~” you coo, gently wiggling the kitten in his face.

Lucifer grimaces. Takes another, larger step back. “If a baby is what you want, I’d rather give you one myself.”

(You bring home a kitten and try to hide her from Lucifer. Unfortunately for you, nothing gets past the House of Lamentation’s resident pet-hater.)

Word Count: 3.6k

AO3 Portal

You found a kitten.

Well—kind of. It’s debatable.

You think it’s a kitten. She certainly looks like one—fluffy little thing with snow-white fur, blue eyes, a poofy little triangular head, and the most perfectly pink toe beans you’ve ever had the pleasure of squishing. 

The reason why you’re so hesitant to call her a kitten? 

She breathes fire. Hiccups fireballs. Sneezes flaming hot streams of… well, flames.

You learned that firsthand ten minutes ago, when you nearly got your eyebrows singed off by a particularly dangerous sneeze. All you wanted to do was give her a smooch on her wittle pink nose, you weren’t expecting to get blasted in the face with an orangey-red inferno.

But you know what? It doesn’t matter if she’s a little strange. You’ve sworn your everlasting love to your newfound daughter—your secret daughter that the demon brothers can absolutely not know about under any circumstances whatsoever, because you just know that Lucifer will make you put her back in the wild where you found her.

Your fire-sneezing, bouncing baby girl wouldn’t last another day out in the harsh wilderness (aka the dumpster that you retrieved her from). In the forty-seven minutes that you’ve had her, she’s grown accustomed to belly scratches, sleeping in your bed, and gnawing on only the finest tortilla chips in the Devildom. 

Her name is Tater Tot.

She sticks out like a sore white thumb among your colorful assortment of pillows. Not that she cares. She’s living it up in the lap of luxury. Tater Tot stretches—turns around with every paw in the air, proudly showing off her rotund little baby belly, and mrrps at you.

Its the cutest thing you've ever fucking seen. You just wanna SQUEEZE her. Ugh, who would've guessed that a little trash fire baby would steal your heart so quickly?

And it’s not like you broke the rules and brought home a pet on purpose. Tater Tot had chosen you. By choosing to rummage around in that specific dumpster that you just so happened to walk past on your way home from RAD, Tater Tot had effectively decided that you were to be her new caretaker. 

It’s fate. Kismet. You’ve wanted a pet for so long—dog, cat, dragon, gremlin, doesn’t matter. You’ve spent hours upon hours bitching and moaning to anyone that’ll listen about how badly you’ve wanted a pet to smother with your love. Nobody has been able to escape your woe. Everyone—the brothers, the angels, Solomon, and even your good buddy Diavolo (somehow, Barbatos has managed to evade you) have all been forced to listen to your lamenting about the pet-shaped hole in your heart. 

But finally—finally—your prayers have been answered.

With a fire breathing kitten. 

Oh yeah. Kismet.

You’re fairly certain that Tater Tot has never lived in a house. She had been perfectly content to snuggle up in your school uniform like some kind of tiny, pouch dwelling, heat seeking creature, until you had snuck into your bedroom and closed the door behind you. 

The second you set her on the floor, it was like a switch flipped. Tater Tot had shown off her unnatural strength by flinging her little puffball body around the room like a possessed tumbleweed, spastically crashing around the room and knocking over furniture and keepsakes alike.

You had finally cornered her under your bed and sat peacefully nearby, humming quietly to calm her. It didn’t take long for you to coax her out with snacks—she liked the chips, but passionately disliked the gummy worms—and within twenty minutes you had Tater Tot lounging with you on the bed, rubbing her soft little cheeks into your palm for rubs and scritches. 

You need to come up with a plan to hide your beloved child ASAP. It’s only a matter of time until either Lucifer hauls you off to his room or one of the brothers decides to camp out in yours for the night, and if word gets back to Lucifer that you’re harboring a fugitive animal… Well, favoritism or not, it won’t end pretty.

Though perhaps there is one person who can help you with this little secret.

Satan. The cat-loving fourth brother. 

Man oh man, he’s going to be thrilled with sweet little Tater Tot. You have to be careful though—you reckon that there is a 96% chance that he’ll try to steal her away from you. Trying to juggle custody battles and harboring your secret daughter from Lucifer all at the same time sounds like such a pain.

But… That would still be better than having to put Tater Tot back on the streets.

With the threat of big-meanie-Lucifer looming over you like a particularly gothic and pet-hating phantom, you come to a final decision. You’re just going to have to pull on your big girl pants and accept the soul crushing truth of the situation.

Satan is your only hope. 

But how are you going to sneak your daughter all the way over to his room?

You look around your own room for something, anything that can hide your beloved dumpster pet and—ohohoho.

 ~

“Darling?” 

You freeze midstep.

Busted.

“What’s up, Lucifer?” You try so hard to keep your voice calm and normal. So hard. 

Judging by the way Lucifer looks at you, you’ve failed. And you were so close. Satan’s bedroom is literally right there! Only a few yards away! If only you’d just had ten more seconds to yourself in the dark hallway... Alas, the warden your beloved Lucifer aka the resident pet hater stands between you and the dusty salvation that is Satan’s library of a bedroom.

You shuffle your feet a bit nervously. Readjust your grip on the cardboard box. A bit warily, Lucifer eyes it.

“What’s in the box?”

You panic. “What box?” 

Fuck.

Lucifer cracks a smile, though it doesn’t meet his gaze. He gestures to the cardboard box that you are currently holding near to your chest like some sort of ugly, cubic liferaft. 

“Oh!” You laugh. It’s too high pitched. Suspicious. “This box? It’s just some books for Satan, it’s nothing—”

The box sneezes.

Your mouth snaps shut and you thank all the fucking stars in heaven that this sneeze didn’t flambé you.

Lucifer’s eyes narrow accusingly. Tone icy and sharp, he says, “Books? Is that so?” 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck—

You wilt a bit under the intensity of his gaze. “They’re… cursed books? Yeah, so cursed and dangerous and only Satan knows how to nullify the evilness of these books so I’m gonna just slip past you—”

Lucifer takes a step to the left, planting himself firmly in your path and effectively thwarting your desperate grand escape. A single blade of moonlight cuts through the curtains and slices through the shadows, Lucifer now caught in the spotlight and—oh that fucker did that on purpose. Ugh, what a drama queen.

Red eyes practically glowing in the dark, he nods menacingly at the box. “Go on then. Open it.” 

“I dunno, I really shouldn’t because of the curses and—”

Clearly not in the mood to entertain your scheming-slash-rambling, Lucifer takes matters into his own hands. Before you can twist away, one of his hands darts out to knock the lid off of the box and—

Books. It’s filled with books.

He frowns. Lifts one up and—nope, there’s just more books underneath. “...What?” 

“Happy? Now if you don’t mind I really should get—”

“Let me help you with that.”

Your reflexes aren't fast enough. Before you can leap back or Sparta kick him away, Lucifer plucks the box right out of your arms… and reveals a squirming lump beneath your sweater, right inbetween your breasts. The box hits the floor. Lucifer stares at your newly acquired mass with a very particular sort of horror that you’ve never seen before. 

You panic. Again.

“...I grew a new boob. I think the Devildom air is toxic or something, but it’s okay! The more the merrier, right? We can still—gET YOUR HANDS OFF MY TIDDIES—”

Lucifer presses one hand to your lower back, trapping you, and yanks down your zipper, revealing the purrito that is wrapped kind-of-securely to your chest with a scarf. He recoils backwards, looking equal parts horrified and peeved off.

Time for Plan B.

93% sure that you can still recover from this situation that is rapidly soaring downhill, you stuff your hands into your pockets and then throw them outwards, flinging fistfuls of rainbow confetti into the air. “Surpriiiise! You’re a daddy! Say hello to our daughter.”

“No.”

“Her name is Tater Tot. Personally, I think she takes after you.”

The Tater in question shimmies out of her silky prison and tumbles nose first into your palms. You hold her right up to Lucifer’s face, grinning like a goddamn sociopath when he takes an alarmed step backwards. Little puffball paws desperately try to swipe at his nose. Lucifer looks downright offended by the assault of pink toe beans.

“See? She’s just a baby~” you coo, gently wiggling the noodle-limp kitten in his face.

Lucifer grimaces. Takes another, larger step back. “If a baby is what you want, I’d rather give you one myself.”

“As fun as that sounds, we have a perfectly good one right here!” 

“That thing is not a baby. Where did you find it?” 

There’s a concerned little scrunch in his brow that you wanna smooth over with your thumb, but when you try to close the distance between you two, he moves further out of reach. Frowning, you hug Tater Tot to your chest. She snuggles her face into the crook of your neck and purrs like the smallest biodiesel engine in all of the realms.

“I found her in a dumpster!” you say, perhaps a bit too proudly. 

Lucifer’s eyes widen. “In the city?”

“Why is that so shocking? Does the Devildom not have stray cats?” 

“That’s not a cat.” 

“Well yeah I kinda figured, what with the whole fire breathing thing and all, but—”

“It’s a chimera.” 

You stare at Lucifer. Try to gauge how serious he’s being. Tater Tot nibbles on your thumb with little needle-like teeth. 

Surely he’s joking. 

“...Like the lion-goat-lizard thing? That chimera?” 

Lucifer nods. 

Like you’re in some twisted version of the Lion King, you hold Tater Tot up in the beam of moonlight that Mr. Doom and Gloom had previously been occupying. Examine her totally normal kitten-features. The distinct lack of goat hooves. Miss Tater licks her nose. A Chimera? Her?

Surely he’s fucking with you.

But… it would explain the whole fire-breathing thing. Kind of. You’re not fully convinced he’s lying, but the truth doesn’t make much more sense.

But if she is a chimera… that’s so badass.

If Lucifer thinks for one second that Tater Tot being a nightmarish Hell creature is going to scare you into giving her up, then he is sorely mistaken. (You did choose to date him, after all. You're an expert at loving on Hellish beings.) At the end of the day, whether Tater is a chimera or a cat or whatever the hell else, you’ve already bonded with each other. She’s your baby and you are not going to let him get rid of her. 

If he gets Cerberus, then you get your funky little Tater Tot, dammit.

Lucifer watches this journey of emotions play out on your face. His eyes narrow. He says your name slowly, strained—a thinly veiled warning in his voice.

The grin that overtakes your face can only be described as evil. 

“We’re keeping her.”

“Absolutely not.” 

 ~

“You can’t be serious.” 

From the depths of your blanket fort, your hand emerges to flip Lucifer off. He scowls. 

“This blanket fort is only for Tater Tot and me.”

“Then perhaps you should relocate to your bed.” Lucifer growls.

You snuggle further into the black sheets cocooning you. With impressive speed, you had raced back to Lucifer’s room and stripped every piece of fabric from his bed in record time. From there, it was simply a matter of combining the dark sheets with a bunch of pillows and voila. You had created your very own anti-Lucifer fortress, right in the middle of his bed. 

Tater Tot army-crawls across your thigh and worms her way into the sheets, vanishing like a ninja.

"What?" You peek at Lucifer through a small opening in the fabric. “But then you would just ignore me and Tater Tot.” 

“Yes, exactly. I’m glad that we’re on the same page.”

“No! We’re not on the same page at all,” you scowl. “I’m not moving until you bond with her.” 

“Then I suppose you’ll be stuck there forever.” 

“Maybe I will!”

You can’t see him right now, but you know in the depths of your heart that Lucifer is rolling his eyes at you. 

Which, y’know. Fair. You are being a little bit ridiculous. But what choice do you have? The confetti didn't work and Lucifer needs to form an everlasting bond with Tater Tot. He needs to experience how lovely and precious and wonderful your little baby is, so that he won’t make you put her back in the dumpster where you found her.

You have one last tactic. It is by far the absolute worst. 

Talking to him. Like some kind of functioning, responsible adult, because apparently that's what you're supposed to do in a healthy relationship. Blegh. 

While you agonize over stooping to this final resort, Lucifer climbs into the bed without a word and settles himself in like he owns the place. Which he does. But that’s beside the point. 

One of your arms emerges from the blanket shield to poke at his pajama clad thigh. He doesn’t react. So naturally, you poke him again. And again. And again, until finally he sighs, “What?”

You squirm your way out of the stuffy blankets, gulping down air once you're free—sweet baby Jesus, fresh air has never felt so good—and Tater Tot flies out after you, rocketing across the mattress at the speed of light and tumbling around like a little white pom pom. While she does her own thing, you worm your way into Lucifer’s side so that you’re halfway on top of his chest. He huffs and lays there like a board, refusing to hug you, so you grab his arm and wrap it around your shoulders yourself.

Here goes nothing. 

“Why are you so against having a pet?” you ask, dancing the pads of your fingers over his chest.

Lucifer cracks one eye open. “The first and last time I allowed pets in the house, Satan brought home 48 cats. In one hour.” 

...You really should have seen that one coming.

“Oh. Well, I mean… Is that reallyyy a bad thing—ow! You jerk, I was just kidding.” You pout. “You didn’t have to pinch my butt that hard.” 

Lucifer snickers and pats your butt consolingly. “Mmm, no, I didn’t. But I wanted to.”

Briefly, you consider headbutting him right in the chin. But alas, that wouldn’t solve anything, so you settle for pressing a kiss to his collarbone, then reach a hand up to play with his hair, just how he likes. It’s not very ~vengeful~ buuut it’s bound to put him in a better mood. 

You trace cutesy little heart shapes on his right pec. “You know what I want?”

Lucifer closes his eyes—lets his head fall back onto the mattress. “We’re not keeping her.” 

You snuggle into his chest with a happy little hum. “Yes we are.”

“...Just for the night. Tomorrow you're putting her back where you found her."

 ~

You wake up in agony. 

It feels like you’ve had a lung ripped out and replaced with serrated knives. Or shark teeth. Each breath drags oh so painfully at your—just kidding. 

You wake up well rested and tangled in the bedsheets, your head hanging off the side of the mattress. You’re a little hazy-brained and your skull feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, but that’s probably because of all the blood rushing to your head. When you roll over and haul yourself back up onto the bed, a noise escapes you that is definitely not fit for polite company.

The murky depths of slumber threaten to take you again, so you pat around the bed with your hand, looking for your favorite demon-slash-body pillow. You pat. And keep patting. Where the hell is Lucifer?

You crack one bleary eye open, trying to find Lucifer and—

Where the hell is Tater Tot?

Your heart jolts in your chest as you realize a few things all at once.

One: Lucifer is missing. 

Two: Tater Tot is missing.

Three: You slept through breakfast, but that’s less important. 

You’re off like a shot, wrestling yourself out of the sheets and flinging them to the floor, then stumbling across the room to get to the door before your brain can even fully wake up. It’s fine, you don’t need 100% brainpower, you just need to find your baby. 

You’ve barely taken four steps into the hallway when you slam nose first into Mammon. He catches you, saving your face from becoming acquainted with the floor, and you grab him by the leathery lapels of his jacket. 

“Where’s Lucifer?!” you hiss.

Mammon desperately tries to squirm out of your feral grip. You shake him like a polaroid picture.

“Geez, knock it off would ya?! He’s in his office, what the hell is up with you? Wh—HEY! I’M NOT DONE TALKIN’ TO YA!”

Whatever the Weenie has to say to you is less important than finding your child, so as soon as you acquire Lucifer’s location, you haul ass to Lucifer’s study.

 ~

In a raging fury that could rival Satan’s existence, you fling open the door, ready to tear Lucifer a new one for not even letting you say goodbye to your beloved kitten and—

And your heart melts into a warm, gooey puddle. 

Lucifer is sitting at his desk. Tater Tot is draped across his shoulders.

Lucifer glares at you, but there's no real bite in his gaze. “Keep it down, Phobos is sleeping.”

You blink stupidly, your brain racing at a thousand miles an hour to catch up with whatever the hell you’re currently feeling that has you all mushy and moon-eyed. “Phobos? What the hell? That’s not her name at all.” 

“My love, we are not naming our daughter after potatoes. Her name is now Phobos. She and I came to a mutual agreement that it is far more fitting of a name for a creature of her pedigree.”

...You’re so torn. On one hand, you want to argue that Tater Tot is a lovely name for your dumpster kitten-chimera-thing, but on the other hand… he called her ‘our daughter’. As in your guys’s daughter. This can only mean one thing, and you clutch at your heart when you realize what’s happening.

They bonded.

It damn well might bring a tear to your eyes.

You make your way over to Lucifer, shove aside the papers on his desk, and perch your happy ass right on the hardwood.

With a bone deep sigh, Lucifer leans back in his chair. “Why do you always do that? My lap is available, you know.”

Tater Tot wakes up and lifts her heavy little sleep-addled head to meep at you.

You grin—hook your ankles around the armrests of his chair and pull him closer. “So… does this mean we’re keeping Tater Tot?” 

“... Yes, we’re keeping Phobos. But that’s it, no more pets.”

“Okay, wait. Hear me out. What about a dog?”

“Absolutely not.”

Lucifer plucks another white hair from his RAD uniform and holds it up to the moonlight, scowling at the offensive thing. Why in all the realms did you have to find a white cat? The damned thing has only lived with you lot for two days and yet somehow its hair has already gotten over every article of black clothing in his wardrobe. It’s infuriating.

His gaze wanders across the courtyard to where you’re sitting pretty on Beel’s shoulders, clawing at his face with your fingertips and screaming in terror at how high up you are. He grins. 

He can put up with the shedding fur, so long as he gets to see how your eyes shine like the stars when you see Phobos.

Still though. Why couldn’t you find a black kitten? 

“Lucifer! There you are!” 

Lucifer flicks the cat hair—lets the breeze catch it and float it away. Before he can even get a proper greeting in, Diavolo is pulling him in for a bone crushing hug.

“You’re here a bit later than usual. How’s life with the new kitten treating you?” Diavolo asks.

Lucifer steps out of the hug and eyes Diavolo warily. “Just fine, thank yo—wait. How do you know about the cat?”

Diavolo blinks innocently. “Surely you told me about her, didn’t you?” 

No, he definitely did not—oh no. 

Lucifer stares, slack jawed and horrified, because in that moment, he realizes something that he refuses to accept.

No.

No. It can’t be.

Diavolo would never do that to him. He would ne—oh fuck, he absolutely did.

Diavolo planted the cat. He knew that you would find her in that dumpster and take her home.

Lucifer has never known a betrayal quite like this. Diavolo says something about heading off to his office, but he doesn’t hear him over the rushing in his ears.

“Diavolo.” 

The demon prince in question pauses in his escape to look back at Lucifer. “Yes, Lucifer?”

“Why did you have to pick a white cat?”

And oh, Diavolo laughs. A full belly laugh that quite honestly kills Lucifer. Just a little bit.

[marauders-venting]

Our Last Summer (Part 1)

pairing: wolfstar (sirius x remus)

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: none

words: 2267

note: based on the song ‘Our Last Summer’ by ABBA

a/n: this isn’t the whole thing but I haven’t finished it yet and it’s getting really long anyway so I decided to just post it in parts (i know it says fluff & angst and there’s no angst here but be patient it will come)

I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all. Walks along the Seine laughing in the rain, our last summer, memories that remain… I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all. In the tourist jam round the Notre Dame our last summer walking hand in hand

Sirius woke up smiling. Remus’ arm was still draped over him. He turned around and kissed him on the nose.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Are you awake?”

“I am now,” Remus groans.

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” Remus says, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “I like waking up next to you.” Sirius’ smile widened.

“I like waking up next to you too,” he said. He kisses Remus softly before turning to grab his wand off his bedside table and Summoning two cups of tea. He hands one to Remus and then opens the drawer of his bedside table and pulls out a large packet of dark chocolate.

“Happy anniversary,” Sirius says, giving Remus the chocolate.

“Best present ever,” Remus says, taking a bite; Sirius can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.

“The day is just beginning,” he says, sipping his tea.

“Really? So what do you have planned?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Sirius says mysteriously.

---------

“No way,” Remus said, shaking his head. “There is no fucking way I’m getting on that death trap.”

“Yes you are,” Sirius said, taking his hand and pulling him closer to the motorcycle. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“No,” Remus said. “Why can’t we just Apparate? Or take a taxi?”

“What’s a taxi?” Sirius asked.

“I swear to god, I’ve already told you at least five times,” Remus says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well, it doesn’t matter because we’re riding my motorcycle,” Sirius said.

“Nope,” Remus said. “Not fucking happening.”

“Please,” Sirius pouted. “It’s not illegal, I have a license. And I promise I won’t fly. I’ll stay on the ground the whole time.” Remus still looked hesitant. “I even customised your helmet myself.” He pulled out a black helmet with ‘Moony’ written on the side in flaming block letters. It brought a little smile to Remus’ face.

“Ugh fine,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “But this is a one-time thing.”

“Yeah, yeah, if you say so,” Sirius said. “Now come.” They climbed on the motorcycle and Remus wrapped his hands around Sirius’ waist. “Normally I would say hold on tight,” Sirius said, “but if you hold any tighter you might just squeeze me to death.”

“And if I don’t hold this tight I might just fall to my death,” Remus replied. “Now shut up and drive; I want to get this over with.”

And suddenly, they’re on the road and holy fuck Remus is terrified. He’s resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder watching the cars around them. He squints his eyes, trying to make everything appear blurry (hoping it’ll make this a little less terrifying) and yes, he’s afraid but he has to admit that the blur of lights from all the cars is actually quite beautiful. That is, until they climb on the highway and Sirius picks up the speed. Now it’s just terrifying. Remus closes his eyes and buries his head in the crook of Sirius’ neck. The smell of Sirius and the feel of his beating pulse calms Remus down a little. He knows Sirius wouldn’t suggest this if it was that dangerous; Sirius would never let anything bad happen to him.

Remus doesn’t open his eyes until he feels them slowing to a stop. When he does finally look around, he finds himself in the parking lot of what looks like a small park.

“Hey,” Sirius says, reaching a hand back and stroking Remus’ thigh. “Are you ok?”

“I’m alive, if that’s what you mean,” Remus says, letting go of Sirius so he can climb off the motorcycle. Sirius helps Remus down and takes his helmet.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“Yes, it was that fucking bad,” Remus says. “I’m never riding that thing again.”

“Hey, ‘that thing’ has a name, you know,” Sirius said, arms crossed.

“Right, sorry,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “I’m never riding Elvendork again.”

“Wow, I can’t believe you actually remembered their name,” Sirius said, laughing.

“I can’t believe you actually named your motorcycle,” Remus said. “Now tell me what we’re doing here.”

“Come with me,” Sirius said, pulling him by the hand into the park.

“Where are we?” Remus asks, looking around.

“You’ll see,” Sirius said. He led Remus to the far end of the park where several bushes and trees made a hedge that seemed to show the end of the park. Sirius got on his hands and knees and pushed the plants out of his way as he crawled into the hedge.

“Are you serious right now?” Remus asked. As soon as the word was out of his mouth he regretted it.

“I’m always Sirius,” came the reply. “Now come on.” Remus sighed and crawled through the hedge. When he came out on the other side he saw Sirius sitting on the grass.

“What is this place?” Remus asked, looking around. If he was being honest, it looked like a little heaven. Everything was so green. The grass, the trees, the hedge they came through. It looked like something out of a painting. The colourful flowers from the trees littered the floor; Remus picked one up, walked over to Sirius and put it in his hair.

“I used to come here when I was a kid,” Sirius said, effectively surprising Remus. “I know hardly any of my stories start like that but when I was… 9, I think, my cousin Andromeda was 15. And one summer she came over to our house and she asked my parents if she could take me somewhere. I don’t know what lie she told them but whatever it was they bought it. She brought me here. She told me that a friend of hers at school had shown her this place. His dad was a park ranger and he used to come here all the time as a kid. It was just close enough to my house that we could walk here and we’d spend all day playing here. She even learnt how to use muggle money so she could buy us food.”

“The last time we did it was the year before I started Hogwarts. She was seventeen then. She showed me magic. It was incredible. She did all kinds of spells to make plants grow and stuff. It was awesome. I’d never seen magic so… raw before. It was beautiful. But then she ran away with Ted Tonks and got burnt off the tapestry so there was no way my parents would let me see her. But she wrote to me a few times to tell me to meet her here. That was how I met Ted for the first time. Turns out he was actually the one who showed Andie this place. And I met Nymphadora here as well. I used to come here alone sometimes too. I tried to bring Regulus with me once but he was scared we’d get caught. The only good memories from my childhood… they’re all from this place. I just wanted to show it to you. I mean, you took me to your childhood home but… I mean you’ve seen the Potters’ house a million times. But I guess I wasn’t really a child by the time I moved there. So I guess… I don’t know, I just wanted to share this with you.”

“Thank you,” Remus said, taking Sirius’ hand and pressing his lips to the back of his hand, “for bringing me here, I mean. This place is beautiful. Are you the only one who knows about it?”

“Oh, I doubt it,” Sirius said. “I mean, it’s not very visible but there’s no way that nobody else has ever found this place. But it was always empty whenever I came here. Which wasn’t that often I suppose.” Sirius flopped back onto the grass, dragging Remus with him. They lay on their backs looking at the sky, hands still clasped together.

“It looks like it’s going to rain,” Remus said. Sirius shrugged. It was true; the clouds had been dark all day and the smell of approaching downpour lingered in the air. But Sirius had been keeping his fingers crossed that the rain would wait until later tonight so that he could carry out his plans without any disruption.

“You hungry? We could go get some food if you want. There are muggle shops nearby. But you’ll have to handle the money cause I still have no clue how to do that.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, if Andromeda could learn I’m sure you can too,” Remus said, as they left their little garden of Eden. “Come on, I’ll teach you.” They walked down the street looking for a coffee shop or a food vendor nearby. They found a bakery selling sandwiches so they bought two, Remus bought tea, Sirius bought coffee, and they returned to the hidden corner of the park.

“Do you get how to use the money now?” Remus asked as they walked back.

“You’ve taught me a million times, Moony, it never sticks,” Sirius said. “You just have to resign yourself to the fact that your boyfriend is a dumb bitch, no matter how hot he is.”

“Oh don’t worry, I accepted your lack of intelligence and general common sense a long time ago, Pads,” Remus said, putting an arm around Sirius as they sat back down on the grass, pulling the sandwiches out of the paper bag and laying everything out on the floor in front of them.

“No, no, you’ve got it wrong,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “I am intelligent but I’m still a dumb bitch too.”

“You’re saying you’re an oxymoron?”

“Wait, I never say I was a moron—”

“No, not a moron, an oxymoron.”

“What does that mean?” Sirius asked.

“It’s like something that juxtaposes itself,” Remus said.

“Juxta-what now?” Sirius said. Remus rolled his eyes.

“You need to read more. It’s something that contradicts itself. Phrases like awfully nice or saying that someone was found missing.”

“Oh,” Sirius said. “So yeah, that’s what I’m saying. You’re so smart, Moony. You know so many big words.”

“Literally just pick up a book,” Remus said, laughing and kissing him softly. “I promise, it’ll do you wonders.”

“Why do I doubt that?”

“Because you’re an idiot.”

“Oh we’ve circled back to that now, have we?”

---------

That was how they spent most of the day. Talking, laughing, joking, kissing, lying on the grass. It seemed like the day really was going to be perfect. Until it started raining. At first, the drops were light and they weren’t bothered by it, but soon the rain became heavy and loud and they were both getting soaked. Remus didn’t mind getting wet; he had bigger worries on his mind.

“We’re not riding a motorcycle in the rain, are we?” Remus asked, his concern leaking through his voice.

“We can wait for the rain to stop if you like,” Sirius said. “Hey, you know, it’s actually good that we came here on Elvendork because we can cut through the traffic on our way home.”

“What? No, no, no, no, no,” Remus said, shaking his head. “There’s no way that’s safe.”

“It’s perfectly safe, Moony, I’ve done it a million times,” Sirius insisted. “Just keep your eyes closed like you did before. It was cuter like that anyway.” Remus felt himself blush.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said out of the blue. “I didn’t know it would rain.” He looked genuinely upset; Remus wasn’t sure why.

“Of course you didn’t know, Pads,” Remus laughed. “You can’t control the weather. Everything will be fine. We’ll just wait out the rain before riding home.”

“That’s not what I—” Sirius started, “never mind.”

“What is it?” Remus asked, covering Sirius’ hand with his own.

“I just… I wanted everything to be perfect today. I’m sorry I ruined our anniversary.”

“Ruin it? Sirius, what are you talking about? You didn’t ruin anything.”

“But… it’s raining,” Sirius said confused.

“Yes and? Rain is, like, the most romantic thing ever.”

“It is?”

“Once again,” Remus sighed, “I would like to reiterate how desperately you need to read a book.”

“Well, I’m sorry we can’t all be addicted to romance novels.”

“Oh shut up and kiss me.” Sirius laughs and lets his lips meet Remus’. They’re both drenched to the bone but neither one of them could care any less. Sirius’ hand brushes Remus’ cheek as he wraps his arms around Remus’ neck pulling him closer. Remus’ hands are on Sirius’ waist, and they slide down to his hips. Sirius’ shirt had ridden up a bit from lifting his hands to reach Remus’ neck and Remus’ fingertips brush Sirius’ bare skin — which is wet and slippery from the rain — making Sirius shiver and sigh. When they break apart, Sirius brings his lips to Remus’ ear.

“Besides,” he whispers, as Remus runs a hand through Sirius’ wet hair, “who needs romance novels when I’ve got the best romance story in the world.” Remus felt a flutter of pure happiness and smiled. He kissed Sirius’ jaw, right beneath his ear.

“Happy anniversary,” he whispered. Sirius sighed in response. They stand there in the rain, wrapped in each other’s arms, dancing slowly to the sound of the rain splashing and pattering on the leaves of the trees around them.

[johnconstantinesdick]

Okay *cracks knuckles, accidentally dislocates fingers* @agentscamander-romanoff and @steel-phoenix took the bait and enabled me by asking me to elaborate on my Children of the Watch origins theory. Which means I am about to go ABSOLUTELY feral.

Apologies to anyone for having incorrect Star Wars lore, I’ve barely consumed canon content and I don’t intend to start now. Also sorry if anyone has already said this! I’ve never seen this particular theory/interpretation and it’s made me go a bit insane.

Warnings: discussion of child abuse, cults, and the aftermath of genocide. I don’t go super in depth on any of it but it’s there. Also, I typed this in the notes app of my phone and autocorrect hasn’t quite submitted to some of these names.

SO. I’m going to break this up into sections. 1. Exploring canon 2. Extrapolations/Connecting the red string 3. What does this MEAN??? 4. Complaining about Bo-Katan.

First off, though, here’s my thesis: Children of the Watch is a “splinter group” made up of the children that Death Watch stole, indoctrinated, and abused. They’re also not a cult (Death Watch is though lmao).

1. Exploring Canon:

Okay, so. Canonically, Death Watch has abducted, tortured, and brainwashed children. Arla Fett is an example of that, having been abducted at the age of 14 after her parents were killed and she was subsequently brainwashed into becoming an assassin for Death Watch. She didn’t even hesitate when she found out her brother was alive! That’s how strong the conditioning was! She was so fucked up from it that she spent YEARS in a mental facility, and she outright begged a Jedi to wipe her memories in exchange for a favor. DEATH WATCH DID THAT. And you CANNOT tell me she was the only one they’ve done this to. PLENTY of fic writers have extrapolated off of this and mentioned it, but it’s important to me that everyone know this shit is absolutely rooted in canon.

Another Death Watch Child Abuse Fun Fact: Dred Priest and Isabet Reau, two of the trainers of the clones, canonically had Death Watch leanings and tried to instill Death Watch beliefs in the clones by FORCING THEM TO FIGHT EACH OTHER IN SECRET BATTLE CIRCLES THAT ENDED UP KILLING SOME OF THE CLONES. THEY WERE CHILDREN AT THE TIME, IF IT WASN’T CLEAR. WHAT THE FUCK. If THAT’S not an example of Death Watch abusing the kids under their care then I don’t know what is. It’s suuper not a stretch for me to think that this wasn’t an unheard of thing in more official Death Watch circles.

Also canonically, Bo-Katan has referred to Din’s covert as “Children of the Watch”, and Din, despite obviously being an important and respected member of his community, doesn’t recognize the name, which implies to me that it’s not a name the covert chose for themselves. Rather, a moniker that was given to them after they splintered off of Death Watch. Since this isn’t an opinion and it’s more just… information, I’ll trust Bo-Katan on this one.

We also know for sure that Din’s covert IS connected to Death Watch in some way, seeing as the flashback sequence very clearly shows Mandalorians in blue and gray beskar’gam, the colors of Death Watch. HOWEVER… the Armorer, who seems to hold a high position of authority in the covert, wears gold and copper beskar’gam. Din wears unpainted (v2) or mismatched colored (v1) beskar’gam (I do grant that his paint color counts less towards this because he’s pretty much one of the only people interacting with the outside world and so colors associated with Death Watch are probably a no go no matter what). Paz Vizsla’s armor is a very dark blue with yellow and cyan details and, oh my fucking god I didn’t even know this but he has a fucking MYTHOSAUR SYMBOL ON ONE OF HIS PAULDRONS. THE FUCK???? THAT’S LITERALLY THE SYMBOL OF THE TRUE MANDALORIANS IM. Ok. Okay. I needed a minute. Like I KNOW that the mythosaur skull is Mandalorian symbol in general but I think it just hits different when a Vizsla is wearing it, you know? Especially because the placement is the same as Jaster Mereel’s???? Literal founder of the True Mandalorian movement????? Excuse me???????

Let’s uh. Let’s get back to armor. I can address that… later. So. Anyway. Armor is super important, and it’s uhhh very telling that the covert doesn’t emulate the Death Watch colorscheme strictly. Like, yeah, there’s gray and light blue in there, if you go through some wiki pages, but they’re not the only colors they use, and the Armorer doesn’t even have either of those colors! And she’s the biggest authority we’ve seen! Very fucking interesting!! Bo-Katan still has her armor painted in Death Watch colors! And yet she’s derisive of Din’s covert! Verrry interesting!

We also know that Din’s covert emphasizes children VERY much, more than Death Watch ever would have, imo. It’s expected for the adult members to provide for the foundlings (and it’s VERY interesting that the kids are seemingly all referred to as foundlings iirc. More on that later.), and even though Paz disagrees with Din working with the empire, he and the other members of the covert immediately and with no hesitation come to Din’s aid for this child that Din hasn’t even claimed as his own—it’s amazing! And I will note that Bo-Katan and her warriors do the same upon their initial meeting with Din—Koska dives into danger with no hesitation as soon as Din says the child is still in danger. We see that this solidarity does come at a price for Bo-Katan, though, while the Armorer sees protecting a foundling as a duty that is completely worth all the trouble it brought.

Fascinating also that Boba was 100% on board to help out Din to save Grogu past what Din or anyone else would have expected of him, while Bo-Katan had to be bribed into coming by the promise of Moff Gideon and the darksaber. And she thinks she’s somehow more Mandalorian than him.

And NOW, going way back in time to the beginnings of the True Mandalorian movement, we know that Jaster Mereel originally authored his Supercommando Codex by looking back through history to the Canons of Honor and the Resol’nare, and he took those ideals and ideas and he modernized them to create a set of moral guidelines to follow. And people loved that shit! Death Watch had to infiltrate the True Mandalorians and then trick the Jedi into slaughtering them just to get rid of them, because Jaster’s charisma and his sexy sexy morals were too strong. (God. I fucking LOVE Jaster Mereel if you couldn’t tell.) Anyway, there’s precedent for Mandalorians looking back to their history to bring forth old ideas, repurposed to a modern context. We also know that, canonically, Din’s covert follow the “old ways” of not sharing names and of never taking their helmets off in front of others.

Moving on.

2. Extrapolations/Connecting the red string:

So if we extrapolate from the fact that Death Watch are, uh, super fucking abusive towards the kids that they stole/their own kids, then we’re left with… this group of kids, who have been mistreated and indoctrinated for a LONG TIME, and possibly don’t have that great an understanding of non-toxic Mandalorian culture. And if they’ve been abducted or rescued, whatever, they might not fit back in with the places they were taken from, or they may not have a place to go back to, or they may not even remember where they’re from originally. It’s some prime angst material! Good stuff.

And if we pull the implication from the names that “Children of the Watch” is a splinter group off of Death Watch, it really does make you think… huh, you know what? These two things may be one in the same. Maybe.

And, like, we know that Jaster Mereel and Din’s covert both looked to Mandalorian history to find pillars for their community’s morals. Jaster did so in the middle of a lot of political turmoil, as a way to say “Hey, we can still be Mandalorians in the ways that matter, but being Mandalorian doesn’t mean being a morally bankrupt conqueror. We can have honor and still wear armor and fight and uphold the Resol’nare.”

And I think Din’s covert did so when they were struggling with unlearning the toxic ideals that had been shoved onto them by Death Watch. I think they had to figure out their own way of being Mandalorian or else they would have crumpled under the pressure. And so they looked back to the old ways and picked out the more extreme interpretation of Cin Vhetin (clean slate) which says that, once you swear the Resol’nare and become a Mandalorian, your past doesn’t matter, it’s what you do now that does. You don’t take off your helmet, and you don’t let others know your name, because those things don’t matter to who you are and what you do. (There’s also the issue of the helmet and name rule being an important defense tactic to protect the covert, seeing as how Mandalorians post-Empire are the survivors of genocide. There’s already a fantastic post on it here)

Related, another Mandalorian saying is “Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la.”, meaning “Nobody cares who your parent was, only the parent you’ll be,” which IMO fits in very nicely with how I’m interpreting Din’s covert. It’s all about your actions and future mattering more than your past. I think that when the covert was splitting off and being built, this would be a huge component of them healing. Because the way they were treated and indoctrinated by Death Watch doesn’t have to affect their future actions. They don’t have to perpetuate the cycle of abuse, they can build a covert and a community around caring for foundlings.

Now, onto the foundlings! I find it very interesting that, whenever the covert’s younglings are mentioned, it’s always as foundlings. I think this implies that there’s a focus on saving and raising children more than there is on sharing blood with them, and I think that the covert would be more inclined towards communal raising than typical family units, if only to keep everyone in check and to protect the children from ever being treated as they were. I also find it VERY interesting that there’s a lot of emphasis put on returning children to their own kind. I don’t think Death Watch would have employed that practice, and I think that’s another example of the covert wanting to make their community a better place for children. I think it’s likely a lot of them didn’t get that choice, and they had to leave their cultures and people behind. And so they want to give that choice to their children.

I think it’s also amazing that, like. They keep finding and raising children instead of deciding they’re too damaged or whatever to have kids. Because it doesn’t matter if they have baggage or trauma when a child needs them. That’s FANTASTIC. I’m losing my MIND. It really doesn’t matter who their parents were to them, just the kind of parents they will be. It’s all about breaking that cycle and deciding to be better and I LOVE THAT.

3. What does this MEAN???:

Well. What this means is that Din’s covert has a very clear set of motivations and structure when it comes to how their covert is run. It’s not a cult; in fact it is specifically a group created by cult survivors who are determined to not do to others what was done to them. The rules may seem weird and strict at first glance, but they have a clear purpose and rationale, and no one is trying to amass power. They’re just… trying to do better, and be better.

(This also means that I’m 99% sure that, with the assistance of time travel, at least half of the covert would be SUPER INTO Jaster Mereel. I like to imagine that Paz had, like, a poster of him on his little sewer bedroom wall. I fully believe he painted that mythosaur skull on his pauldron in honor of a good man who was killed by Paz’s own relatives for standing by his morals and daring to try to reform and rally Mandalorians. I also think it would be funny if, like, Din doesn’t know shit about ANYTHING to do with modern history, but Boba mentions that his grandfather is Jaster Mereel and Din is like “OH I KNOW THAT GUY! Yeah he’s cool, he’s the historical crush of like, my entire covert.” And Boba is like. What.)

It also means that it can be up in the air about whether Din was found by Death Watch before his covert splintered off, or if his covert was still just wearing Death Watch colors when he was found. Fun thing to play around with, but right now I don’t want a solid timeline.

Hmm just thought I should add: while the Armorer does seem to have a position of authority, I don’t think the covert can be structured politically with clans and houses like other Mandalorian groups. Like, clan just means family in this context, and is less a part of hierarchy, and I don’t think they would even recognize houses within the covert? Like they MIGHT decide to call themselves part of House Djarin now that Din is Mand’alor, but before that they weren’t like. House Vizsla with Paz as the leader just because they used to be Death Watch. I don’t vibe with that. This isn’t really super relevant, I just wanted to add it.

4. Complaining about Bo-Katan:

Anyway Bo-Katan is absolutely full of shit and it’s doubly disgusting that she’s standing there in Death Watch armor, seemingly still allied to this fucking cult of imperialism and conquest, and she accuses Din of being in a regressive cult, and she implies that the way he engages with the Resol’nare is wrong and like. Repressed or something. God I hate Bo-Katan. But I love to hate her. She’s horrible but I want her to be included in the list of Din’s friends but not the list of people he’d trust his kid with. I have contradictory Bo-Katan feelings, whatever. The most important thing is that all of her opinions are horrible, like, all the time. And we shouldn’t trust her when she says Din’s part of a cult. Literally why does anyone take that at face value. If we’re taking her word as the authority on Mandalorian issues then I guess Boba and Jango aren’t Mandalorian!!! Seriously.

TLDR; Din’s covert (aka “Children of the Watch”) is made up of survivors of childhood abuse, torture, and brainwashing at the hands of Death Watch, and they’re dedicated to making sure their children don’t go through the same thing. They’re not a cult, but Death Watch sure was! Jaster Mereel is the love of my very aromantic life and Bo-Katan’s opinions can’t be trusted. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[thornsent]

Yeah sure I'll talk about it finally I guess

Long, long post. Talks about abuse + pedophilia + homicidal ideation and other stuff like that. nothing in detail but fantasized violence and me screaming at an abuser.

When we lived in AZ things were fine until they weren't and one of the people I lived with started to go mask-off emotional abuser. The other guy I lived with eventually broke down n told me everything.

The guy who was going mask off, let's call him Richard, and the other guy who we'll call Vaska ig had been dating for a long time. Vaska explained to me that Richard had begun to pursue and date him when he was 14 and Rich was 19. If you know me you know I'm loathe to throw around this word, but... That's just fucking pedophilia. I remember being 19 and I remember being 14 and I don't FATHOM being attracted to a child like that when I am 19. Let alone acting on it.

There was other shit too, a lot of other shit. Again, the emotional abuse, but also the manipulation, fucking with people's spiritualities and world views... Oh yeah I also figured out that the only reason I'd been brought there was because Rich wanted to fuck me and add me to his harem basically, I found out he tried to do a love spell on me when I was literally in the house, but asleep. There's also... Him probably faking DID (again I like to give folks the benefit of the doubt but if you just accept everything someone tells you without criticism that's how you end up in this situation.) and swathes of it being VERY reminiscent of the Final Fantasy House, to the point where for a while I couldn't watch the video on that without it triggering me and I couldn't interact with a lot of media that had been important to me as well.

we made a callout for rich when it all went down because I do think you should be warned before going near him at all, and again I hate callouts! But he has some popular posts and I've seen him interact with teenagers AGAIN and I just don't want anyone else to move in w him and go through what I did. But anyway

Vaska told me everything Richard had done to him and regarding me when we were organizing a storage unit and I flipped. They had been dating and were engaged, basically married without it being legal bc of disability stuff, but Vaska wanted to end the relationship and move on. We were also living with Vaska's awful & abusive mother at the time and if she heard anything going on she'd butt into it, but we both wanted to have a Talk with Richard. We had a spot in the middle of the desert we'd go to sometimes and look for animal bones or just drink and bum around a campfire while doing tarot/a variety of rituals, and we decided that wasn't a bad place to bring Richard to have the talk because then nobody could bother us. We didn't really have explicitly sinister intentions (at least I didn't)

Some info on me, ig. I'm an angry person, and my whole entire life I have struggled with a combo of outright sadism + homicidal impulses + harm ocd. You wouldn't know it if you knew me unless I told you though because it ALSO interacts with my scrupulocity ocd and it's also smth I know I ought to be ashamed of so I just... Repress my latent bloodthirst at all times because I am trying to be a decent man. I haven't told a therapist because I don't think they'd believe me, and if they did they'd lock me up. I'm not a danger or a ticking time bomb. I'm just unwell, and trust me when I say this torments me more than it could ever harm you.

So with that context and info in mind, I had been having a lot of homicidal thoughts about Rich since I had been informed about the whole... Everything. But mostly the pedophilia. Everything Vaska put me through aside, you don't get to just rape one of my friends as a child and then marry him later. Even if his mother allows it. I don't give a fuck, you knew that it was wrong and you still fucking did it. I just cannot handle being around someone like him. I'd talked about these with Vaska. I thought when I was talking to him about this I was venting or riffing between friends. Like when I say I wanna break his legs and then throw him in the river to watch him, self-proclaimed Ocean God, drown, I do very much want to do that! It would delight me to my core! But I know that it has consequences (I don't think I'd do well in prison, and I don't know if I could handle the psychological aftermath of it even if it would be, arguably, justified-- yes I've thought of this a lot) so I will never act upon it even if I am chomping at the bit to do so. I Just Won’t. But I need to say those words even if they aren’t literally true because I need to vent the hate from my body or I cannot move on and cannot cope, and talking about violently dismembering someone who abused me and a friend is probably better than [self harming/sitting in my room staring at the wall in another fit of catatonia/literally just holding all of that in all the time always to be a Good Nice Boy Who Only Says Nice Things]

especially when the other party is... fine with it. I wouldn’t realize until later that he was taking it more seriously than I was and might’ve been making plans but I don’t know and don’t care to know. The point is there was clearly some incongruence bc I was fantasizing and he was not and when I called him on his abuse he started to act like I had literally been planning and going through the motions of attempted murder which is not true, at all. But it’s not like it’d be hard for authorities to totally buy “trans dyke with history of mental illness attempts murder of roommate!” and I am sure he is aware of that.

I’m rambling too much. We stayed out of the house for many hours after that, both of us talking at length about what Richard had done, how to handle it, etc. Richard had sent several frantic text messages asking where we were and we lied and said we’d been stuck in really bad traffic. We got food and took a nap in the desert at one point, which as a side note is where I found the dog skull I have, and then headed home. Vaska had to work at first and I went straight to bed. Richard wanted to watch Twin Peaks with me (we’d gotten to s2 at this point) and I declined and just holed up until Vaska came home, and when he did, he came straight to my room, we went over the plan again and then came out.

We asked Richard if he wanted to go on a drive (not something too out of the ordinary for us) and he said sure. We didn’t tell him where, or why, and I knew we were all off. We all climb into the car and I take the front seat. We were listening to doom country about killing your wife/husband and we drove in silence into the night, hitting a little bit of traffic as we left the city. Richard interrupted the tension at first to make a few jokes about “You’d better not kill me, I have pokemon I’m working on leveling” or something dumb like that, but as we kept being silent and kept driving further and further out of the city, Richard’s panic grew. He started demanding we tell him what’s going on, that we stop the car, that we turn around and go home, but we ignored him as he started.... Just having a full-on tantrum in the back seat. He literally started kicking the drivers seat and writhing and screaming and neither Vaska nor I could help but laugh because just.... It’s a nearly-30 grown adult kicking the driver’s seat like he’s a toddler who was just told his behavior was too bad to get mcdonald’s on the way home from school. Richard never tried the car door, which is kinda baffling to me.

We drive to the spot and we park and it’s just us, because it’s a dumpsite for dead animals and busted furniture nobody wants, and it’s late as fuck at night at this point. Took us a while to drive out there.

We tell him to get out of the car so we can talk, but Richard refuses and immediately goes into “Oh my god, you’re actually going to kill me” mode, so both of us walk around to his side of the car and open the door. I let Vaska speak his piece first. And then it was like something in my brain just broke, and I just snapped, I’d had enough of him. I just started screaming. I don’t remember all that I said but I know it was a lot of me listing fucked up stuff he’d done to me or Vaska and him crying pathetically and either saying “i am so sorry” or “I didn’t know” or “I promise I’ll do better!” including about the pedophilia thing. He admitted he knew it was wrong at the time but still did it. But an apology isn’t enough for that, especially not when Vaska had told me pretty explicitly he’d sat down and talked with Richard multiple times over the years they had been together, asking for better from him or he’s leaving, but it never got better, he just cried a lot and said a whole heap of apologies and then in a few weeks it went back to normal. So don’t blame me for not fucking buying it.

I told him it wasn’t enough to his face. I laughed at him and I mocked him and for the first time in my life I was fucking ruthlessly cruel to someone, another person I could see face to face. I had no intentions of defending, I was attacking fully and with joy as I brought up every horrible fucking thing he did to me and every horrible fucking thing he’d done to Vaska and I was just screaming and howling and yelling at the top of my lungs at Rich. It bounced off of the sand dunes and the wilds and I felt powerful for, maybe, the first time in my life. I yelled like that for an hour straight and he’d try to butt in or explain how it wasn’t Really That Bad (which actually ended up being “how dare you make me feel bad for the shitty things I did to you”)

Near the end though I brought up some really personal shit that just hurts, like there’s no way around that pain it just hurts, and I was so fucking unhinged at this point I was just screaming/laughing/crying all at once as I started to really just break down and that was the end of it. I asked Vaska and he gave his final words and then we stood there for a bit until I calmed down enough to say it’s done, I’m done, let’s go home. On the way back the only words spoken were from Rich, who asked if I wanted the runes I made and gave to him back. I said I didn’t care but I really should’ve taken them back, if only on premise.

I don’t remember most of the car ride back because I was both crashing and also just humming with. Fervor. Frenzy. I truly think it was a kind of divine madness because it really was just like... something possessed me. I couldn’t do it again, not by myself. and at first I told a few people I knew who reacted with shock but were like no that’s kinda based actually, and then for a long long time I felt deep shame because oh technically that was really traumatizing to Richard and fucked up and Not Real Justice or whatever but like.... I’m never gonna see justice for what he did and neither will Vaska. I think revenge is okay sometimes as long as you acknowledge it’s different from and not the same as justice. I think that’s where I was falling flat, revenge does have its place honestly and me screaming at someone in the desert making them fear for their life is not the same as Richard doing literally anything that he did.

I felt a lot of shame about this for a long, long time. I radically changed my belief system for a while as a result of this event but I’ve come back to knowing what I know and I have better perspective on it. Technically speaking this was traumatizing to Richard, and while that’s valid for him I do not give a fuck because he’s a pedophile and a sex pest and a lot of other things you don’t want to be. Like yeah sure, he’s a human person and has a right to life and has a right to get better and do better but he never tried to, and I am not obligated to forgive him or humor him at all, and someone being abused retaliating even if it’s not healthy or a good way to retaliate is in my opinion understandable and just one of those things y’know.

I don’t have to feel shame for this. I do not have to feel bad. I am not just as bad as my abuser for it. And frankly? it felt great, I’d do it again.

[freddiefiction]

Jimercury Advent Calendar (Day 7)

I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus 🎅🏻

The older he got, the more the whole concept of Santa Claus became a tad disturbing to Khaleel. 

His parents had been tenacious with their lectures about stranger danger since he was a toddler; answering the door by himself or talking to anyone he didn’t know was strictly off limits, and if a strange man ever came up to him and tried to coax him into the back of a car with the promise of sweets or gifts, he wasn’t to go with them under any circumstance. But nobody seemed to have an issue with a bearded man in a red suit breaking into houses once a year to leave presents under your tree.

For an inquisitive eight-year-old, who was too bright for his own good, it was quite the conundrum.

The very existence of Santa was still something widely debated amongst his peers, and Khaleel was definitely leaning more towards the sceptic side of the belief spectrum. Many of his classmates claimed to have seen old Saint Nick for themselves, in the flesh, but Khaleel firmly believed it wasn’t a coincidence that they all had vastly different recollections of what he had looked like. Jimmy Sutcliffe, for example, claimed he was thin as a rail and sounded strikingly similar to his uncle Henry. Eyewitness accounts were far from reliable in this case. Which is why Khaleel had taken it upon himself to finally put the speculation to rest by investigating the credibility of Santa himself.

Khaleel was usually at his most active on Christmas Eve, bouncing around the place like a rubber ball and evading his bedtime until he literally had to be carried upstairs by Jim. But tonight, he was compliant, scampering up the stairs the moment he was asked and under his sheets with his teeth brushed by nine-thirty. He calmly listened to his bedtime story, accepted the goodnight kiss from Jim (and three goodnight kisses from Freddie,) before snuggling down with Toby the Triceratops and feigning sleep until the light on the landing went out and the house fell silent.

According to the many Christmas stories he had read over the years, Santa wouldn’t be making an appearance until midnight. The next three hours were touch-and-go as he did just about everything he could think of to stop himself from falling asleep; fortunately, by the time he had read his way through half of his Marvel comic collection and did a few discreet jumping jacks, the hands on his Danger Mouse alarm clock were nearing twelve and he quickly sprang into action. Armed with his foam cricket bat (in case Santa didn’t appreciate being confronted and turned hostile), he opened his door as quietly as he could and slowly tiptoed towards the stairs.

He moved slowly, carefully slipping past Romeo who was having a snooze on one of the steps, until he made it to the hallway and crept towards the lounge. Light was seeping out through a crack in the door and as he neared, Khaleel could hear his Baba’s voice, though his exact words were hard to make out.

‘Mr Claus! Not in here! What would my husband say?’

So, Santa did exist. Khaleel felt his stomach twist uncomfortably and he swallowed down the lump that was quickly growing in his throat. He inched his way closer to the door, just able to make out a low, gruff voice mumbling words that were unintelligible; as he peered through the gap, he could see a man dressed in red sitting on the couch, Freddie propped up on his lap like an excited child waiting for a present.

‘Alright, Santa. Just one little kiss. So long as you promise to put me at the top of the nice list!’

What happened next made Khaleel’s blood go cold. His Baba leaned down and pressed his lips against the snowy white beard, arms curling around Santa’s neck as he kissed him in a way Khaleel had only ever seen him kiss Daddy. Rage overtook the young boy; gripping the cricket bat tighter in his hands, he stormed into the room and before anyone could react, brought the spine of the bat down hard across Saint Nick’s skull.

‘Jesus fuck!’ Santa screamed and immediately clutched his head, his exclamation startling Freddie so much, he tumbled off his lap and right onto the floor. Khaleel went to swing again, but at this point Santa had turned around and quickly ducked as the bat came sailing down, narrowly missing his noggin. ‘Khaleel, what are you doing?!’

It was only when he heard a familiar Irish accent that Khaleel paused his assault, bat frozen in mid-air. ‘Dad?’

‘That was very naughty, Khaleel!’ Freddie thundered, picking himself up and rubbing his bottom from where he had bumped it on the floor. ‘What have we told you about being rough with your toys? Apologise to your father right now!’

Khaleel immediately dropped the bat, his eyes beginning to sting with tears as he ran over to Jim and clambered onto his lap, hugging him tightly around his neck. ‘I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t realise it was you. I…I thought you were Father Christmas.’

There was a moment of silence, as Freddie and Jim shared a confused look before Jim pulled off his fake beard and dropped it onto the armrest. ‘You thought I was Father Christmas? Why would you hit poor old Santa? He’s a very nice bloke!’

‘Because I thought he was kissing Baba, and no one’s allowed to kiss Baba like that but you.’ Khaleel’s cheeks burned with shame, and he buried his face into Jim’s front. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, Dad. I’m really, really sorry.’

Jim could see Freddie’s mouth twitching in an effort not to laugh, and he shot him a look of disapproval, though he found himself biting the inside of his own cheek rather desperately as well. ‘You know violence isn’t the answer, Bijou. If it had been Father Christmas, you should have confronted him peacefully instead of beating his brains out.’

‘Though, I do appreciate you defending your father’s honour like that.’ Freddie leaned down and gently kissed the child’s head. ‘Anyway, time to get back to bed. Santa doesn’t visit boys and girls who aren’t asleep on Christmas Eve.’

Khaleel nodded, deciding against pointing out that it was technically Christmas Day now. ‘Do you think he’ll still leave me a present, even though I hit Daddy with a bat?’

‘Given that you’ve been such a good boy this year, I’m sure he can overlook this one little blip.’ Jim reassured him, glaring over at Freddie when his husband snickered. ‘Now, come on, love. Off to bed with you.’

Khaleel smiled as Jim placed a soft kiss against his cheek and he slid off his father’s lap to collect his bat and make his way to the door. His endless questions about the existence of Santa Claus were still poking away at his brain but he decided he’d be pushing his luck trying to quiz his parents after such an outburst. Perhaps he’d leave it another year; he saw how much effort his parents put into making Christmas a magical experience for him, and the last thing he wanted to do was put a spanner in the works by shattering the illusion. He’d be their innocent baby boy, who still believed in jolly elves and flying reindeer, a while longer.

Khaleel’s hand paused before it reached the door handle and he suddenly frowned in thought. ‘Hey, Dad? Why are you dressed as Santa Claus in the first place?’

Jim’s cheeks went as red as the suit he was wearing.