#like no one wants to write and everyone always leaves eventually and I'm apparently not worth talking to HAHA

[coolspacequips]

I miss rping so fucking much and it's so hard to start a successful thread it's so weirdly crushing and depressing

[myboipotterimagines]

Golden Pt. 5 - Weasley Twins x Reader

Hi everyone! Thank you for all the support on the last few chapters. I have really enjoyed writing this fanfic, and I hope y'all like reading it. This is probably my favorite one yet. Enjoy!

Again, 18+, minors dni. Love you all. <3

Other parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

George had decided that he would, in fact, be joining you in Hogsmeade. He wasted no time in getting ready, clearly not wanting to leave you alone with his twin for any longer. For someone who didn't care about you, he sure was fucking jealous.

Leaving the shop hit you with the truth of reality like a brick to the chest. Diagon Alley was desolate and destroyed, the shop one of the only businesses still in operation. You clung to Fred. "He's growing stronger, isn't he?" you asked, though even you knew it wasn't a question so much as a statement. Fred leaned down to kiss your temple. "I'm afraid so. But nothing will happen to you while you're with us." "With Fred, at least," George smirked, moving to the front of the charge. "I'm more of an every man for himself type of guy." Fred rolled his eyes. "Ignore him." He laced his fingers into yours and for a moment, your heart stopped beating. A coy smile took its place on your lips as you looked up to find a matching one on his.

"So what all do we need in Hogsmeade?" you finally asked as you walked to the edge of Diagon Alley. A group of wizards had set up an anti-apparition barrier within the streets of the town, hoping to increase its protection against Dark Magic. The borders were patrolled, which did a little to ease your anxiety.

"As much as I love seeing you in my clothes, I think it's time you get some of your own," Fred laughs, his words bringing a blush to your cheeks. "I have also decided to turn our office into a temporary bedroom for you, until you feel more comfortable in ours."

Your heart jumped again. Every so often, ,you would forget that these two were your soulmates, not just a new relationship. Eventually you would all share a bedroom, and a bed, and a life. Your future was as intertwined as your fingers. George finally looked back at the two of you, glancing for only a moment at your hands, then back ahead of him.

"We're at the edge," he said firmly. "I'll apparate us." He reached out one hand to his brother, then one to you. The same pulse of energy ran through you as you touched. You were completely wrapped around the finger of the two, and unsure if it was exciting or terrifying.

The village of Hogsmeade was still as beautiful as it had always been. Since it was an inhabited city of wizards, it was harder to vandalize unnoticed.

"I'll go get the bedroom furniture," George said, immediately dropping your hand. He was gone before anyone could protest. Fred barely noticed, taking a moment to pull you into him, kissing your forehead lightly. "Let's go get you some clothes, love."

Fred made sure you had clothes for every occasion, but your eyes always drifted to the dresses on the racks. He insisted that you needed every one you tried on, eyes raking your body with each new fabric. He even went so far as to outfit you with a slinky silk nightdress that he had adored. If it hadn't fallen slightly past your bum, he would've insisted you go home in it. Instead, he picked out a soft red sundress for you to wear the rest of the day. By the time you were finished, Fred's hands were full of bags, and George was waiting outside.

"Did the princess do some damage in there?" George asked with a smirk. Your own face dropped at his use of your nickname - the one he had only used as his hands had fucked you. "She wouldn't have needed so much if we hadn't basically kidnapped her," Fred laughed. "Where's all the shit you were supposed to get?" "Delivered and assembled," he smiled. "I go above and beyond, dear brother." Fred rolled his eyes. "Let me drop this off and we can grab dinner at the Three Broomsticks. Could you two get us a table without killing each other?" You smiled. "I think we can manage." You placed a kiss on Fred's cheek before he apparated away.

"How long are you going to wait to tell him that I've been inside of you?" You groaned. "I don't know, George. You'll be happy to know you've put me in quite the fucking predicament. So I'm sure you're bloody elated." "He can't be too mad, considering you're fucking him, too." All of the color drained from your face as you stopped in your tracks. You took a moment to regain your composure. "I am. He's my soulmate and he's fucking nice to me." You took a step closer to George. "I would do anything for him." George took a step closer to you, closing the distance between you, before leaning down to whisper in your ear. "I didn't even have to be nice to get you to open your legs." You spun to slap him, but he caught your hand, holding it tightly within his grasp. "No need for violence, princess. Unless that's what you like."

Upon arriving at the Three Broomsticks, the two of you took a booth at the back of the restaurant, George slipping in beside of you. "You really have to sit next to me?" you asked. "Unfortunately. The only thing worse than sitting next to you is sitting across from you and having to look into your eyes the whole evening. I'll leave Fred that torture." "Fred actually likes me, George. Even though you seem hellbent on stopping him from doing so." "It takes two to tango, sweetheart. You know as well as I do that you wanted last night to happen. Probably can't wait for it to happen again." "You're the one who came onto me. You wanted it as much as I did."

George shifted in his seat to look you straight in the eye. As he did, he snaked his hand under your dress and up the middle of your thighs, only stopping at your core. You squirmed from his touch, but his thumb found its way to your clit and his index to your already soaking entrance. He leaned in to your ear, using his free hand to push back your hair. "Like I said, seems like you can't wait for it to happen again." You pushed him off of you, face only reddening as he took his fingers into his mouth to clean them off. "Mm, sweet as honey, princess."

"What is?" Fred asked, sliding across from the two of you. "George what the hell did you do to her?" he added upon seeing your reddened face. "I didn't do anything, Freddie. The poor thing is just embarrassed she's never had Butterbeer." "Never?" Fred asked. You shook your head - a lie, but it would do. "Didn't think I'd like it."

Fred immediately jumped into action, ordering a round of Butterbeer to go with your meals. Hopefully you feigned surprise well when you tasted it for the 'first time'. Fred seemed to buy it, at least. George tried to ignore you the entire evening.

He was successful until you arrived home. "Let me show you your bedroom," he called, not checking to see if you were following before he started walking away. Your bedroom was on the first floor of the shop, nestled cozily in the back. Though the room wasn't very big, George had managed to fit a bed, dresser, and desk into the space. Fred had already spelled your clothes away, filling in the new dresser. "This is incredible. Thank -" you turned to thank George, but he was already gone. Your blood grew hot - he was not going to humiliate you and then ignore you for the rest of the evening. He was going to fucking pay.

At the very top of one of your drawers held the black silk dress. You quickly stripped into nothing but the nightdress, letting your hair fall loose on your shoulders to accompany it. It was beautiful, and you needed to thank Fred for getting it for you.

You didn't bother with a robe or slippers as you ascended the staircase to the twins' room. You knocked on the already opened doorframe, grabbing the attention of Fred first. "Holy shit," he murmured, taking in your body like he was seeing it for the first time. You entered their room, noting George's agape mouth as you moved. "I just wanted to thank you both for putting my room together. I'm the luckiest girl on the planet to have you," you said, smiling at Fred.

"I'm the lucky one," Fred murmured, fingers slipping up and down your frame. "You're so fucking beautiful." You kissed him tenderly, heart melting at his words. "I love you, Fred," you whispered, words leaving your mouth before you could stop them.

George pulled the two of you apart. "All right, get the fuck out of here and go to bed." "What the fuck, George?" Fred asked. "She's clearly drunk, Fred! She needs to go the fuck to bed." "No, I'm not!" you protested. "I had like two Butterbeers." "Apparently, you're a lightweight, then." You looked at Fred to back you up, but his face was downturned. "Your face is super flushed, love. Maybe you should get some rest." "I'll make sure she gets downstairs, then she's on her own. Tomorrow is a big day for all of us and I need a fucking shower." "Goodnight, love," Fred called. "Goodnight, Fred," you frowned. "I do love you." His expression didn't change.

As soon as you were in your room, George locked the door behind you and cast a silencing spell on the room. "I am not drunk, George. What the hell is wrong with you?" "What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you? You clearly came up there to try and seduce me. And then you tell Fred you fucking love him? He is not a tool to fucking abuse."

You threw a pillow at him, which he wordlessly deflected. "Not everything is about you!" you yell. "I do love him! More than anything," you voice quiets with each word. You draw in a shaky breath as you lower onto the bed.

George walks over to you, holding your chin in his hands. His eyes glare daggers into yours. "I don't believe you." Your gaze doesn't break. "I don't need you to." "I'll tell him. Everything." "And what is 'everything', exactly? That you fingered me? That you want to fuck me? That you need me as much as I need you?" His grip tightened, pulling you to your feet. "I do not need you. I don't even fucking want you."

In one swift motion, you reversed your spots, pushing George onto the bed. He stared up at you as you held your fingertips to his chest, holding him in place. "For someone who doesn't want me, you seem to spend a lot of time inside of me." He laughed. "Because you're fucking easy. It didn't even take a full day to get with you. It didn't take two before you were with both of us."

You pushed him back farther onto the bed, straddling him. "I think you're the easy one, Georgie. If I was so easy, I would've made you cum instead of your brother." "Fuck you," he snarls, grabbing a handful of your hair. "If you'd like," you retort, grinding your already wet cunt against him. He's clearly hard underneath of you, despite the layers of clothing separating him from you. "Fucking slut," he groans, wrapping an arm around your back to support your position. "I'll stop if you want me to," you repeat his own words back to him. "But I don't think you want me to."

"Fuck," he groaned. "I need you right fucking now." His nails dug through your slinky dress and into the skin underneath, pulling you as close to him as he could. "Thought you didn't want me, Georgie? Now you need me?" you mocked, slowing your hips to almost a stop. George brought his hands to your hips, moving you against him once more. Your core ignited, but you held your moans.

George did not hold his. His teeth sank into your neck, leaving bite marks and kisses from your hairline to your clavicle. When he bit into your earlobe, your first moan escaped your lips. "There you go, baby girl, let it out." His fingers moved from your waist to your cunt, tracing your entrance. "So wet for me already," he laughed. His lips returned to your ear. "Let me take care of you."

You slowed to a stop once more, taking in the labored breathing and flushed face of the man before you. "What happened to every man for himself?" You leaned into his neck, whispering in his ear. "I'm not letting someone fuck me who wouldn't protect me from a Death Eater."

His face grows hard as you stand from him. Before you can exit the room, he pulls you onto the bed, pinning your hands. On instinct, your legs kick at him with all your might, causing him to straddle you to restrain you. "You don't have to fuck me, princess. But, you will know that I would protect you with my last fucking breath. I would lay down my life to save yours. So you can go to Fred to satisfy your needs, but you will not go under the impression that I would ever betray you."

After a moment, he frees your hands, which immediately latch onto his shoulders and pull him into you. For the first time, your lips meet, starving for touch. George can't get close enough to you, holding you by the waist and hair, locking your body against his. You begin reaching for the seam of his jeans, but he grabs your wrists with one hand and holds them over your head, using the other to hold open your legs as he sinks into your pussy. A moan rips through you as he licks stripes up and down your core, taking particular interest in your clit. He moans as he devours you, eliciting another string of moans and curses from your lips.

You cry out when he pulls away, devastatingly close to orgasm. "You taste so good, baby girl, but I need to feel you cum on my cock. Do you want that?" You nod, but he shakes his head. "I need words, princess." "Yes, please." With a wave of his hand, the rest of his clothes were gone. Even though he had seen most of your body, you had seen none of his. You drank in the sight of him, memorizing every curve of his body like it was the last time you'd ever see it. He lined himself up at your entrance, the contact alone making you moan. "You ready?" he asks. "Please," you beg, your body aching for his.

He pushes in slow, a mixture of his moans and yours filling the room. "You feel so fucking good," he finally says once he's bottomed out. You smile up at him, too fucked to say any actual words. "So fucking beautiful with my cock in you, princess." He thrusts into you again, pulling moans from your mouth like a prayer. His pace quickens to a breakneck speed, bringing you right to the edge of orgasm once more. "I'm gonna-" you start, before a new wave of moans leave your lips as his thumb connects with your clit. "Cum, baby girl. Come for me."

Once again, his words send you over the edge, orgasm exploding through you like a bomb. Your moans turn into screams of his name as you ride out the orgasm. Your cunt spasms from the aftershock, drawing out George's orgasm, spilling himself into you. Without a word, he spells away his seed, leaving you empty of him. You groan at his absence, but he lays beside you and pulls you into his chest. You burrow deep into him, inhaling his scent. His fingers trail patterns on your back, leaving only goosebumps in their wake.

No one speaks for ages, and you were sure George was asleep before he whispers three words. "I love you."

Tears fill your eyes as guilt fills your heart. "I love you, too."

***

Okay, I hope you all love this chapter because I loved writing it!! We will unfortunately have some angst coming up, but I promise to make up for it with a ton of fluff! Let me know how you're liking the story so far and if you would like added to the taglist! I try to add everyone who asks, and I am very sorry if I forget anyone!

Taglist (sorry if I miss anyone): @rk-ceres @foji2000 @hazilyss, @f-e-222 @luthien-elvenia-asher @trashy-panda777 @rhunew @crossedskulls @shadowmoonlight0604 @mochiseni @jenniferpendragon @fonderaura @pyromaniac-fairy-of-water @theveiledlibrarian, @xmadigurlx, @maxsisly, @meg-cal, @ivseceret

[amymbona]

Can you write something about Patrick with a girl who talks a lot?

You could talk his ears off and still be listening, fucking reading your lips if he has to. Headphones go off when you speak. And you speak a lot. You're aware, right, you have a little rambling problem. But you just have a lot to say about every single topic!

In class, you always talk the most, constantly raising your hand and contributing when the professors allows you. You choose different topics and make the longest presentations just so you could tell everyone all that you've managed to remember. And, what's best you keep Patrick interested. He's genuinely been putting a lot more effort into learning and preparing for classes, especially when he's in your presence. Even when you're talking about a difficult topic, about something you don't understand, you keep brainstorming out loud. Every single math equation you solve, you keep mumbling under your breath.

"Alright, both sides are divisible by two so we can do that, mhm, then five-x goes onto the other side. No, no, no, the other way. Three-y goes there. Yup. Now five x minus two x. Oh! We can divide that by three, mhm."

And Patrick is listening. He's fucking sitting there on your bed, eyes glued to the glasses that keep sliding down youe nose, watching as you lick your lips and nod, encouraging yourself that you're doing it the right way. And, fuck, you look fucking stunning sitting there in your little shorts and working on your stupid math problems.

There's never a silent moment with you. You're a bubbly extrovert, making sure that no meeting leaves the two of you in awkward silence. You always find a topic to talk about, even if it's just the weather, and sometimes Patrick gets annoyed that you're paying so much attention to everything around you, always finding topics to talk about that you kinda forget he's here, next to you.

"Do you ever shut up?"

He doesn't mean it in a bad way, not even considering talking rudely to you. But the sentence slips past his lips before he could stop it.

"What?" your head snaps towards Patrick, lips parting in confusion. Did you hear him right?

But apparently, there's no going back for Patrick. Not now. "You talk a lot."

Oh. Your mouth closes slowly and eventually, after a few seconds of processing his words, you nod, gazing down at your lap. "Yeah, um, I guess, yeah. I guess I do. Sorry."

Fuck. You look like you're about to cry right now. Like you're about to shatter into pieces because now, at this moment, you realise how much you've really been talking. Not just around Patrick, but around everyone else too. You always talk, pulling all the attention to yourself and the things you see, that you don't give anyone else a chance to speak their mind.

Patrick shifts closer, his thigh pressing into yours. He absolutely didn't mean that. He never wanted to see you cry.

"No, no, no, listen," he begins, panicking at the glossy sight of your eyes. Fuck, he's really messed up this time. "I meant it like... You talk about everything. Everything around you. But never about me."

About him? And why would you possibly have to talk about Patrick?

"About you?" you mutter, gaze nervously raising to settle on his freckled face. "You... You want me to talk about you?"

"Yes," he nods.

"But why? I mean... We talk about you, don't we? About tennis, about Art... There's a lot of stuff we mention, isn't it?" you keep murmuring bashfully, once again prolonging your speech despite trying to hold back.

Patrick shakes his head and takes one of your hands in his. "That's not me, that's different topics."

"Then what is you, Patrick?" you wonder.

"I'm me, Y/N. I don't want to talk about the weather or some random shit. I want to talk about me, about you. About us."

"Us?" you gulp, eyes flicking between his own. Apparently, his words are still not settling in your brain in the right way.

"You're so stupid sometimes," Patrick sighs, balling both of your hands into little fists and resting his shoulder on your knuckles. For how much you talk, your mind seems so empty all of a sudden.

"What do you mean, Patrick? I'm sorry, I just don't really understand you, like, we've never talked about this before. I thought we like talking together? We're on the same wavelength and we-"

You're roughly shut up by Patrick grasping your face in his hands and pressing his lips against yours, effectively interrupting your speech. He's desperate, really, and don't know what else to do to just shut your mouth for a while.

And after a moment, his lips begin moving slowly, parting and ghosting over yours in a gentle kiss. His hold on your head loosens and fingers slide over your cheeks which have surely heated up at the sudden gesture. That's definitely not what you expected to happen.

It takes a while for Patrick to pull away, a thin trail of saliva hanging from your lips as he does so, leaving you completely flabbergasted. He chuckles at your flustered expression, running over your lips with his thumb.

"Sorry. I just had to shut you up somehow."

[hyacinthdoll1315]

3.5 Months of Moth HRT

So, um, hi again! Not much has changed since last time but well, feel like I should be updating this more. a few things have changed. My eyesight is a bit fuzzier now. not enough to need glasses at least! but stuff that's really far away has gotten more, smudged I guess?

I called the doc about it since I was worried about having another eye infection (eww) but apparently, it's not too uncommon to occur by this point, something about the eyes beginning to split? I wasn't able to pay attention to much of it (been so scatterbrained(maybe some more tea will help?) but I did some looking into insect eyes and it seems to be the case? something about less resolution.

my sense of smells really strong now, and I'm starting to find it affecting my emotions. like, you know how ants have this smell they leave when foraging? it, kind of makes me hungry now. not that I've been sticking around ants much! I'm a moth through and through thank you very much! (paperyum)

the biggest thing I think is my skin? I'm not quite sure but it kind of feels, tight? and it's been drying out easier. like, wearing a suit that's too small. not sure what that's about, but at least my setae is still growing!

Well, silver lining I guess.

look, that's, not why I decided to write this though, I just. I feel used, in a way. and I need to write it.

So, about a week ago I went to hang out with my friends again. they've been nice and as cool as always, but, I don't know, there's this kind of, disconnect? like, Only Alice (Tea friend!) has really tried to understand while the others have kind of just acted like nothing changed and teased me a bit as normal. I guess it's just ribbing, but, I don't know, I've never really agreed with it.

but uh, we went to the mall, which was kind of nice, the others wanted to watch a movie and go to the arcade, and it was kind of fun? though a little overstimulating (too loud and the movie was boring) I kept getting weird looks the whole time though, and I just. why? they kept looking at me like, I was strange, which I sort of get, but some seemed creeped out, others disgusted.

I used to be pretty oblivious (I admit, I am kind of naive) but now I just, I couldn't stop seeing it. Even when we went to get food, there was this look in people's eyes like I was, wrong. I even heard someone call me a "freak of nature", though maybe they were talking to someone else? (no, it was about me, definitely).

I tried telling the others I wanted to go somewhere else but they just kept saying it was fine and we could go do something else first. I didn't even get to go to my favorite teashop out of fear of losing the group!

Eventually, we stopped at this ramen place and I remember we were mostly joking around a bit. I was having my salad (meat tastes a bit weird now), I don't remember it all. I think someone said something and I felt hurt, said something like, "I can't help it", I think it was about having to be a vegetarian, and I remember one of my friends just, poked the top of my head and laughed at me, something like "well duh, a moth like you doesn't eat much. don't worry about it, just follow the lights." or, something like that I just.

I felt sick. I quickly got up to the bathroom and I think I heard Alice chastising them but I don't remember. I just, needed space. The whole lamp thing is so annoying! like, everyone acts like moths always move toward light when there's so much more going on there! humans may not know how it all works, but it's definitely not just what people think it is, like some infatuation with it!

After that, I just wanted out. the others acted like nothing happened, but, I don't think I can keep hanging around with them anymore. like, they're my friends, you know? they should be there to help! and they do, or at least Alice does. the others just tend to joke around and be silly.

so yeah, that's what happened. they've tried contacting me with stuff like "Hey Emily, we didn't mean anything by it" "We were just joking, Em", or just "Hey Emily, you coming for our next dnd session?" I think I'm going to stop talking to them, just reduce contact, say I'm busy with other stuff, anything to stay out of, that, again.

I haven't gone out in a bit, just been getting my groceries, got my tea, and been trying to relax. I just hope I can find people who can better understand.

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[sga-owns-my-soul]

Fic Idea Adoption!

i have way too many ideas for fics and i know i won't ever get around to writing them all so i'm putting some ideas up for adoption!! i may or may not write these eventually, but they're too good of ideas to leave sitting in my notes app forever, so i'm releasing them to the void! anyone and everyone is welcome to use them, and feel free to be as ambiguous with the prompts as you want! no particular order but nsfw ideas are at the bottom for anyone who wants to avoid them!

(if you do use any of these, i would love to read the fic!! you definitely do not have to but please feel free to send me anything you write off this list!!)

-john takes rodney to earths moon

-john and rodney find the ancient equivalent of speed. they do Everything

-au where ronon gets earth to repeal dadt bc john tells him it's why he can't be with rodney and ronon goes I Must Fix This (he enlists teyla and lorne and maybe cadman)

-rodney asks ronon to go with john to earth (outcast coda)

-rodney goes on bill nye saves the world after stargate declassification

-evans biggest fear is having to shoot john (and maybe getting a promotion bc of it?) and john finds out

-rodney’s ‘torture too hideous and intimate to recount’ is him being tortured, just for them to realize that torturing his team is a better way to break him

-teyla living out ‘the chosen one’ trope

-what happens to sora after the eye

-au where meredith(female!rodney) comes to atlantis instead of rod and not only is rodney horribly disturbed, he’s furious (and strangely confused) as to why everyone apparently likes him more as a woman

-todd is weirdly obsessed with this strange human he meets, and is determined to get closer to him

-the team is most excited about catching up with todd when they get the confirmation atlantis is going back to pegasus

-everyone complains about rodney’s moods bc no one can complain about the infinitely worse in every way sheppard bad moods, that make everyone on the base wish they were on a hive ship being eaten by two wraith at once

-au where ronon ends up on athos at the same time the wraith come and he sneaks through the gate with the intention of just sneaking away on the next planet but whoops it’s atlantis (ronon pov)

-rodney keeps a memorial for every single scientist lost in his lab and radek shows it to new scientists who start complaining about rodney not caring and risking their lives

-reaper au where’s he’s fed the fuck up with these two stupid men who never actually die when they’re supposed to and it’s more annoying than anything now bc he still needs to show up

-au carson comes to atlantis and is HORRIFIED by becketts retrovirus research and the hoffan drug bc “does the hippocratic oath mean NOTHING here???”

-au where rodney can’t admit to himself what john means to him, until something happens that brings all the alternate rodney’s that have lost their johns to atlantis, and they all fall apart when they see john alive, and john and rodney have to have a Conversation (mcshep? maybe ambiguous? idk yet)

-rodney sees john as three separate entities: the Colonel, who is Professional Important Official Man; sheppard, who is his friend/team lead that he hangs out with and goes on missions with; and john, who he’s always seeming to have very intimate moments with that make him question a lot of how he feels

-early days in the city, elizabeth is sick of the marines shitting on the scientists for not being tough and the scientists for shitting on the marines for not being smart so she makes them try to solve a fake crisis from the other side and everyone is like aww shit this is harder than it looks

-that thing where tough men pretend they don’t care much about someone but then the person gets hurt and Tough Guy go a little feral and then holds them close and whisper pet names (sweetheart, baby, darling, etc) but it’s john and/or ronon after rodney gets injured

-the more important something is to john, the harder it is for him to talk about it, and rodney starts to realize how hard it is for john to talk about what rodney means to him

-a bunch of au sheppards get brought to atlantis and one on them is terrified of flying

-rodney has always said biology was beneath him, but then ford almost died, and was… different, from the wraith. and rodney knew he had to find a way to help ford, maybe find a way to fix his mental problems while keeping the physical benefits. rodney and carson find a way to save ford and sheppard is so thankful he kisses them both

nsfw ideas:

-ronon suggests some planets for trading when they get low on supplies that have an interesting trade system. it seems too good to be true and they wonder why telya hasn't taken them until they find out that they trade goods for sex

-au where john is hired as a spy for atlantis and he seduces people in pegasus to get intel for the city

-sometimes rodney just grabs john (by the hair, throat, back of the neck, chin, etc) and asks who he belongs to and john instantly melts

-rodney decides to be a tease on a mission and teyla and ronon think mckay is just really pissing sheppard off when he pulls mckay away for “privacy” but really he’s just super horny and wants to fuck (or, teyla and ronon don’t realize that their fighting is foreplay)

[good4olivia]

dark!aemond hc's

warnings: late night thoughts, not rlly edited, typos, gaslighting, aemond is a manipulative lil shit, but idc i would do aything for this man, this is the last time i write straight on the tumblr lol

pairing: aemond targaryen x f!maid!reader

you were the only maid he tolerated, you didn't stare at him or try to talk to him, you only did your job. he liked that about you, so much in fact that when the septa moved you to work in the kitchens, aemond threw a fit about it.

"who are you?! where is y/n?" he would yell at the unsuspecting maid in his chambers. she only lasted an evening before you were returned to aemond.

"why did you agree to leave? do you not like being here?" he questioned you, watching as you folded his clothes.

"no, my prince. i simply go where the septa tells me to go, she told me to go work in the kitchens, i went there." you didn't look up at him, you weren't scared that the prince would hurt you but you certainly didn't appreciate the intense look in his eyes

"i don't give a shit what the septa says, you're not to go somewhere else. from now on, you're only job is to look after me"

after that, things changed between you and aemond. before, he would simply just watch you - bend down under his bed, or see your cleavage when you are pouring his wine but now - now, he will touch you. simple, innocent (not really) touches that made your skin crawl.

one night, after he had had too much to drink, he asked you to spend the night in his bed. "just to sleep, my love. i just want to be close to you. don't you want to be close to me?"

you just wanted to sleep in your own quarters, your bed was nothing compared to his, but it was yours

apparently you had taken too long to answer, "i must've been mistaken to believe perhaps you felt the same but how could you? i am disfigured and abrasive, a lady such as yourself could never-"

"no, no of course not my prince. i'm sorry i was just... well honestly i was surprised you asked, i believed my... feelings for you to be only one-sided."

the smile on his face after you said made your stomach errupt in butterflies, you weren't sure which kind

he watched you slip out of your dress, only in your undergarments he could make out your tender body so much more clearly, he already felt his nightpants tighten

aemond did not keep his promise to 'just sleep', when you laid next to him he pulled you close, kissed your hair and gently guided your hand to his cock, "you're so beautiful." he whispered in your hair. "do you feel what you do to me, my flower?"

you moved your hand up and down, his breaths getting sharper and quicker, eventually, he finished as he was kissing, sucking on your neck

you felt ashamed at the wetness pooling down at your core, even more so at the moans that left you as he slipped his fingers in you, "does that feel good my love?" he said, god his voice had never sounded so good.

ever since that night, aemond had barely let you leave his chambers. everyone knew you belonged to him, aemond made no efforts to hide it, he simply did not care.

you, on the other hand, had to deal with jealous and petty maids, making your job harder, as well as cruel remarks from alicent.

as much as your time with aemond was fun, you wished for life before - not that you could ever speak your mind about that. anytime you said something remotely close to wanting some more freedom, he would blow up

"freedom for what? hmm? what can anyone give you that i can't? you're lucky i chose you. "

his outbursts would always be followed by his apologies after a few cups of wine,

"my love please forgive me. i just can't fathom losing you and when you say things like wanting to spend some nights in your old room, what am i supposed to think?"

"i'm sorry my prince, i did not think. i won't bring it up again." he kissed you deeply after that, cupping your face in his hands.

" i don't care what my mother says, you will be my wife. would that make you happy? us being married?"

"oh of course my love, nothing would make. me happier than being your wife."

two moons later, you were wed. aemond had given your family some gold in exchange for the loss of income (now that you were a princess, you were dismissed of your duties)

"i can't wait to see you full with my child." he would say to before finally taking you fully

he vowed to never father basters so before the wedding, he didn't fuck you, only the other stuff

no, you weren't allowed to leave the chambers without him, no any hope of you returning to work you enjoyed was long gone but somewhere down the road, you did end up falling in love with him.

[hibiscus02]

I just read Legoland and I decided to compile some helpful tidbits about Penny's character, for all your fanfic writer needs!

If you want to write RTC fanfic using her canon personality and backstory, this is the place for you. I apologize if someone has done something similar!

•Let's start with her basic introduction in the play;

"PENNY is a young woman wearing French braids and a private school uniform; she has a bright smile." "PENNY: Hello. My name is Penny Lamb, and I am an aspiring animal conservationist." "PENNY speaks at an incredible speed, being an immensely nervous and self-conscious teenager. She literally trips over her words -- a volcano of passion and eloquence."

Now I'll give you some backstory and character info without getting into Legoland's plot. This is so people who don't have an interest in the story itself can still grasp the basics of Penny's character.

Both Penny and her little brother (Ezra) were homeschooled. They grew up on the Elysium Community Farm, just outside of Uranium City.

When Penny turned 13, she was already getting "itchy" to see the outside world (kids were not allowed to leave Elysium until they turned 16). She thought she knew what to expect after reading 'Anne of Green Gables'.

The Lambs snuck out to a Walmart and found out it was very different from what they thought it would be. They tried to strike up conversations with people but everyone seemed weirded out by them (they snuck out several times to try and "strike up friendly chats")

Eventually the manager called the police who drove them home. That's when "all that trouble happened"

Penny's parents got 15 years in prison for cultivation and trafficking of narcotics. Her and Erza were sent to Saint Cassian Catholic School (which as I'm sure you all know is the same school that the choir members attend, obviously, since Uranium City isn't big enough to have more than one school). It is stated to be a boarding school in this so that's some extra lore for us I guess.

"PENNY: The instant I see the boys staring at me like gaping fish with their heads cut off… and the girls looking at me with those Queen of England smiles… Oh, little Penny wasn’t in Kansas anymore… Uh-uh… I was sent to the charred black bowels of everlasting Hell!"

Despite her homeschooling education Penny is actually very smart, but the values taught to her don't really go over well with a catholic school system. She also likes to use 'big words'.

Penny gets sent to the school psychiatrist, and allegedly diagnosed as Bipolar and manic depressive (to me it seemed implied that the psychiatrist was a crook, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. Do with this information what you will).

She does go through a depressive episode though, or what sure looks like one; "PENNY: Like, sleeping in my room all day… tearing my hair and throwing up, kind of suicidal and depressed and everything… So, one day a bunch of girls were setting fire to my school bag -- second time that week -- and I wasn’t even crying anymore… because, you get to a point… when you’re waaaay beyond crying."

Penny can play the ukulele and she also composes songs (or, she writes at least one during the play, but y'know)

She seems to be very against cussing, just as much as Ocean is, and reprimands Ezra whenever he cusses throughout the play.

Penny is a pescetarian.

She goes on this insane cross-country trip with her brother to the US, and whenever they get to a new state she always recites how many endangered species they have there. I just thought this was cute, and very Jane-like.

So yeah, without getting too much into it, Penny throws hot coffee on this guy and uhhh, bites him? Apparently? The assault charges get dropped and she gets extradited back to Canada, but the story was leaked to the media and she was famous for a little bit.

The way Penny and Ezra got money to travel to the US in the first place was by selling his ADHD prescription meds, so she goes to trial for drug dealing, and gets probation (they don't specify how long she's on probation for in the play).

At the very end of the script, Penny states she'd like to say something about true love. I wanted to include part of what she said because it's quite lovely (and oh y'all can make so much fanfic with this); "In a world where we are ultimately alone, and die in our own arms, love is the closest you come to another person… because it is the closest you come to being another person. So be very careful what you love."

*this quote is apparently also in some versions of rtc, I assume as an easter egg of sorts.

Sorry this is so long. I love Penny Lamb a lot and I also think she's insane <3

[gallavichthings]

Hoping you can put this out for all of the artists and writers that participate in your events. Just wondering how everyone deals with the feeling of posting something and having it completely flop? Those of you that have had it happen, how do you come back from that?

Hello, dear anon! I'm posting this so that anyone who wants to reply may do so, as you requested, but I also wanted to include my own two cents.

First of all, let me tell you I absolutely understand your frustration. It can be very off-putting to post something you put effort into to just have no one apparently notice it. There are a lot of posts saying how we should write/make art for ourselves, and not for others, and while I agree with those to a certain extent, once you actually post something, the goal is clearly to have it noticed by your peers.

That being said, I do encourage you to try to redefine what a flop means. Is it no notes at all? Because I hardly think you're getting no notes at all, especially in this fandom (but if you are, maybe there's something off with the way you're "marketing" it, so let me know and maybe we can help).

I assume by flop you mean getting less notes than you'd expected, so I think it's a matter of expectations. Are you comparing yourself to others? Because let me tell you right away, that won't do. Some people are more popular, period, and who knows why that is. Sure, most of the time these people are really talented, but usually it's that they make something that resonates with people, but I couldn't tell you why some do and some don't. It's absolutely impossible to predict what the fandom will or won't like. Even if you compare your works with your other own works, that will happen. I can't tell you the amount of times I've written something thinking people would love it only to get just a handful of kudos, while some other fics I've written on a whim, thinking no one would care, got way more attention.

Number three: give it time. Sometimes things aren't appreciated right away, but eventually they get further. I still get daily kudos on fics I wrote 8, 9, 10 years ago.

Finally, and this is a message to everyone, not just the anon who sent the ask: this is why fandom is important, and this is why you have to share the things you enjoy. Leaving likes/kudos is a great thing, but once you reblog it or add it to a recs list, that's when other people get to know stuff. That's literally my main job here, that's the reason I created this blog, so it would be an archive for the fandom. Yes, I organize events as well, and I answer asks and all, but the main point of this blog has always been and will continue to be reblogging. (I unfortunately don't have as much time to go through the tags as I used to, which is why I have my dear @sickness-health-all-that-shit helping me out, but it's still possible we miss things, so you're always welcome to tag me or send me your posts if you notice it's been a week or two and we haven't reblogged them yet - please do wait a bit though, as we do have a queue to go through.) Also, please do leave replies/comments/tags, those are so important and encouraging to the artists/authors!

I hope this eases your heart a bit, anon. And I look forward to seeing what everyone else will say.

Cheers,

GT mod.

[mareenavee]

For the Asks to Spread Love, pick and answer 3 that you haven't been asked already! 🧡

Hello again, bri!! Thanks for sending more of these for me! I've really enjoyed catching up on them and thinking through these today!

Fandom Positivity asks from this game here.

10. A popular character you actually really like and why.

I do like me some rare characters most of all lol. My perspective is a bit biased because I love the ones I love and I don't mind if they aren't "popular" per se. (:

LOL -- The obvious answer is Teldryn, right? But I'm gonna talk about

💫Neloth 💫

instead.

I think he's popular to dunk on because he's been a very big pain in the ass in the games for centuries to everyone who will listen to him. I mean, since the events of Morrowind at minimum. (:

Why do I like him? Because of how he's been written by myself and a few friends -- namely @thana-topsy, @paraparadigm (TOOTHPICK!), and @thequeenofthewinter.

I love to see how other people take this character and run with what we're given in text ESPECIALLY considering how ridiculous he is to deal with and his general attitude toward other living things.

For myself, where I write him as a long term friend of Nerevarine!Teldryn Sero, I love to use his character as an opportunity to talk about the struggle of redemption. How does one redeem themselves from a lifetime of difficult choices made to fit into a specific perception? Does this perception eventually end up becoming a core facet of who you are as a person? If that is the case, can you change? Are the consequences of your choices enough to make you irredeemable? Further, can you forgive yourself if change does not come easily or if you return to old behaviors much too easily?

He's a complicated one, I think, especially by the events of Skyrim. He's not exactly estranged from the rest of House Telvanni, but the connection is tenuous and fraught as the House is still, apparently, recovering from the Red Year. In Morrowind it was very much the opposite. There's gotta be a kind of grief to this shift under the uncaring, hyperfocused exterior.

He's annoying, yes, but very interesting to me, and so he's in my fic. And he's actually a huge part of the latter half of the book.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved.

OH I'm SHOUTING OUT @changelingsandothernonsense's Danger!JOSH (aka Nerevarine Teldryn Sero)'s Nerevar-as-a-parasite situation in Serious Mistakes.

This angry spirit, more or less, lives in the ring and speaks into Teldryn's BRAIN and sometimes drives the entire car, so to speak and I've never ever read anything like it, holy shit. I'm a beta reader for this particular project and I literally cannot yell about it enough.

It's a novelization of the Teldryn Serious mod which was already intriguing, but AH. MY GOODNESS the Nerevar situation.

Let me show you. From chapter 4:

Aren’t you meant to be looking for something? “Oh, you’re still here?” Teldryn rasped, as if saying it out aloud mattered here. You should be thanking me. Teldryn grunted in annoyance, he had a point, he hated it when he was right. His mouth was dry. He wanted to stay where he was. Sleep. You can’t stay here! Get up! Teldryn groaned. Right again – the tide was coming in, if he didn’t find what he was looking for now, then it would be gone by morning. He needed his keys. Was there an Argonian on the beach? He couldn’t remember. His head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose, it did little to relieve the pressure. He always overdid it on the magicka, and now he was nauseous.

It's fucking cool, isn't it? (:

19. Give kudos to someone who leaves great comments.

OH GLADLY. Here's where I shout out @polypolymorph!!!

Okay so I could pick out a bunch of comments -- or novel-length responses. Each comment turns into an opportunity for a conversation and I'm always beside myself to hear back from her.

But right now, I'm still grinning ear to ear over, you guessed it. Eyestalks. Eye. Stalks.

(on this project here.)

[valleynix]

How I Would Have Written Resident Evil: Village

let me preface this by saying a few things: i am slightly tipsy as i write this, so i apologize for any misspellings, incorrect lore, or things not articulated well. i also do not hate Ethan nor the original story of RE8, but i do think there was a lot of wasted potential and unnecessary plot holes

moving on, under the cut

i'll start off by saying that i loved Biohazard. it's genuinely one of my favorite games and the atmosphere is done so well. i love the horror, the mix of action, and the genuine fear you can feel as you run around, searching for answers.

Village did not have this, and it was a massive disappointment, as was the game itself, overall. i do still love it and it'll always be one of my favorites, but Capcom fumbled hard with the plot and the general story.

let's start off with this: in my own little fantasy land where Capcom doesn't hate women (joke), Mia would have been the protagonist in Village. think about how well the story could have gone between her knowledge from the Connections, her unknown relationship with Miranda, the fact she likely would have been struggling to actually fight (just like Ethan should've), and how much different her interactions would be.

i'm genuinely so tired of seeing husbands and/or fathers searching for their lost wife and/or child in horror games. appeal to a different audience!!! where's my mother searching for her lost child, taken by Eldritch horrors???

anyway, i won't be super detailed, but we'll say Mia is the protagonist and Ethan is sidelined :3

throughout the game, i personally would have made it much more obvious that the lords are indeed a family. like, i thought it was obvious enough, but apparently lots of people in this fandom didn't get the memo?? so i would make it more apparent.

and just like i mentioned in the one video i'd already made on this (kinda), i would have changed the lords' appearances and their deaths, pretty much meaning that only Donna (maybe) would have been killed. everyone else would have just been something for her to escape from.

(i'm sorry this isn't super detailed. i don't want it to turn into an eight hour essay, which i may do for a video later on, but anyway)

i will say that i probably would have changed the beginning sequence and made it more mother-daughter focused before Rose is taken. like, imagine Rose being kidnapped right from under Mia's nose without all the brutality and shooting, as comedic as that was, once you knew. the whole thing with Chris not telling Ethan what was going on was probably the dumbest thing in these games and i will forever stand by that.

so, we'll just say that Miranda somehow finds a way to subdue Mia long enough to kidnap baby Rose, and Mia wakes up cold and alone and has to follow a barely-there trail of footprints and feathers that eventually lead her to the village and the horrors within

i also probably would have kept the game during nighttime or early morning, simply because of how terrifying that would be. it's not as fun when you can blatantly see the mutants trying to stalk you (ahem. lycans.)

at this point, Rose is taken and we now have an angry mother on our hands that is very wary of what's going on around her, but now knows that Miranda is a culprit (because in my mind, Miranda has no real reason to hide from Mia, and came to her in her true form). this would leave the audience to question what she really knows and what she's been hiding, and while it would create skepticism, it would also generate curiosity.

Mia traverses the village in relative darkness, led only by the moon's light (hehe symbolism) and the occasional torch. she searches the village for any inhabitants, and while she mostly finds blood and corpses, she also finds a group of people still surviving and untrusting of her.

i think the scariest thing would be that every time Mia progresses and comes back to the village, more people are missing and she finds out rather quickly that it's Miranda's doing. this would leave a sense of fear within her: Miranda is watching and waiting, she is causing Mia distress and threatening her without outright doing anything, letting her know she is unsafe and alone without ever laying a hand on her.

we'll say she goes to Donna's first, under the impression that the hermit dollmaker could have taken Rose per Miranda or she's just being mislead by Miranda posing as a villager (or even the witch lady). from there, she's forced through hallucinations, vivid fabrications of Rose and Ethan, all while struggling to see what is real and what's made up.

she finds out that Rose isn't at the Beneviento Estate, but now, Donna isn't letting her leave. she's not allowed to let her visitors through those doors, saying something similar (though perhaps slightly more afraid) to, "Don't leave... I can't let you." this may hint at the fact that Donna herself does not want to hurt Mia, but cannot let her leave.

Donna's boss fight consists of hallucinations and fabrications, and Mia "dies" when she succumbs to one and doesn't realize what it actually is. there is no "monster" in this section, but it's probably one of the scariest parts, as it takes place throughout the blackened estate and the dolls are, in fact, still moving and making little noises.

Mia escapes somehow, and when she returns to the village, she overhears a conversation from Miranda and someone else (perhaps Rednic?) basically hinting at the megamycete and the ritual and what needs to be done. this begins the plot of finding out what the fuck is going on and where the hell is her daughter, which she believes will be found together.

(sad mother moments, of course. i'd make them tearjerking.)

Mia then finds herself stumbling to Moreau's reservoir, cold and angry, and from here, she starts to realize just how deep Miranda's corruption really goes and how much danger she's actually in. in her mind, prior to this, she thought Miranda was under some kind of control or that she was simply a lackey in a larger scheme of things.

after all, the Miranda she knew was much different than this one, much less angry and violent. Mia doesn't recognize this woman any longer, and she begins to find herself very afraid of what she's gotten herself into, though she doesn't regret it.

Mia hears Moreau's pleas for his mother to help him, to be proud of him, to notice him, and all Mia can feel is the heartbreak of a mother watching this child throw a tantrum for his mom's attention. she tries to kill him, but in the end, she finds herself out of ammo and cornered and freezing her ass off, as well as injured from wounds so graciously gifted to her by lycans and the varcolac.

she escapes, leaves Moreau to his cries and his desperation, and at this point, Mia wonders just how much farther she can go until she collapses. she remembers those little moments with Rose when everything was starting to look up and when she thought her life was going to be normal again, and for a time, she fades into unconsciousness.

when she wakes, it's eerily quiet, and she knows she needs to leave. after more of the villagers go missing and they mention laughing and screaming from the castle, Mia decides she will go there next in her attempt to find Rose and take her away from this fucked up place, get her out of Miranda's grasp before she can do god knows what with her.

the castle is... eerie, yes, but not quite as dangerous as she had been expecting. she meets the Dimitrescus and she's most likely flirted with a bit (as they tend to do), and because Mia is a woman, her pleas are heard and she is allowed to speak, if only for a moment. they come to find that Mia is only there for her daughter and she will gladly leave once she's found, but they're under orders from Miranda now to keep Mia alive (wink wonk).

that doesn't stop them from chaining her up and giggling as they leave, as they did before. i'd make the castle much darker and make more noises throughout the halls, like footsteps or quiet laughter, maybe some soft clanging or things slightly being moved, like vases or chairs, only for there to be nothing.

it's creepy, but there's nothing outright dangerous until Mia finds herself cornered in the kitchens with a very angry Bela now out for blood. she holds back only a little during this little spat, but eventually, it gets to the point that Mia shoots open the window and only distracts Bela before she runs and manages to get away.

(it's now a safe room for her, as Bela would have run away when her weakness was exposed and warmed up, bruised ego be damned. she'll just regroup with her sisters and go from there).

i think the phone call scene would still happen, but it would be a little different. at the very least, it would still show that Miranda does not care about the lords as much as she claimed to and cares more about the ritual and ceremony, but now Lady Dimitrescu is pissed and wants Mia out of her castle before she can actually kill one of her daughters.

(i like to think Bela and/or Cassandra would be in the room, quietly observing, and if the player looks away long enough, looking back would show one or both of them staring right at Mia before quickly looking away. you know the drill).

Mia somehow finds a way to sympathize with Lady Dimitrescu, perhaps because she refuses to kill Daniela while the former is nearby or something, and she ends up escaping (though it's obvious the action is allowed, as Lady Dimitrescu is blatantly keeping her distance but ensuring Mia is chased out. yada yada).

more creepy village stuff happens, more fights with lycans, blah blah. i'm not entirely sure what to do here, but i'll think more on it.

the factory would be last, and i think it would be incredibly interesting with Heisenberg likely knowing that Mia and Miranda had a past together. he might try to use that against her and try to convince her that Rose is their only hope for being free (maybe playing into what she'd seen with his siblings), but he's ultimately denied again.

Mia doesn't know this dude, doesn't know his true intentions or if teaming up with him will guarantee her death at the price of his freedom. everything she'd gone through would have been for nothing, and so, she refuses.

i think the factory would have been creepier if the mechanical noises weren't so loud and in-your-face, but that's just me. keeping the lights low and the enemies quieter but still lit up would have been great, but oh well.

after making it through the factory and proving how strong she really is (never doubt a mother), she is, once again, faced with the opportunity to join Heisenberg or join the dead. she denies him once more, manages to escape the factory (and Sturm) as metal flies by and she's probably pierced a few times, and when she eventually becomes free, she just collapses in the middle of a dusk-lit village.

she's been through so much, lost everything dear to her, and she still hasn't found answers or her daughter. she begins to wonder if she ever left that first hallucination at Lady Beneviento's but she's too tired to care-

and then the moldy tendrils begin breaking from the ground, near enough to terrify her but far enough to know that she's not in immediate danger. she hears laughter and searches through the mold (which she comments on), vision blurry, only to completely freeze when she finds Miranda standing near one of the tendrils, watching her with a fond smile on her face.

this is all i've thought about (because the ANGST of seeing your, at the very least, old coworker/friend who is now a CULT LEADER and trying to kill you...) but i'll probably expand way more on it if i ever do a video on it. i didn't want this to turn into a massive ramble (even if it already did), so i'll pause here for now.

i didn't hit everything i wanted to and i'm sure i'm missing a LOT of points, but these were all the major things i would have changed or implemented. i am very tired and tipsy, and i do apologize for anything that doesn't sound quite right or that's left with like... no other point or explanation. i'll do better next time <33

[o-sahiba]

Last night I was hurt and crying over my failed friendships. I'm not good at making friends. And when I do, I'm guilty of taking them for granted. Thinking that they won't leave me. I don't call or text people. Because a part of me believes that I'm annoying. And that my texts and calls are probably the least one would ever want. And that's how I lose connections. My fault. I know.

But then again, I was always like this. And I've always told people about it. Telling them that I care for them and love them even if I don't text or call. Always making sure that they know. But eventually, just like untouched wounds heal with time and the scars fade away eventually, 'no contact' friendships too lose their significance and fade away.

Friends are important tho. Being with people is important. Really. For, when I look at a group of friends laughing together at the silliest things, it hurts deep inside. Being a part of a friends group and being the 'odd one out' in a group of 5, is something that scars for life. You can't risk being in a group again and having to feel the same. No. And you become a loner. Not that I hate being a loner but having no one to share that I've purchased a new phone case or that I'm getting married is painful. It's like the smallest of the things and the biggest news and everything in between is supposed to be kept inside and not share with someone because you don't have anyone.

But I'm at fault as well. I knew the risks and consequences of no texts no calls. Nevertheless, I never made an effort. I tried tho. Somewhere, at some point in my life. I really did. Making a chat group, initiating conversations with no replies but hey, there used to be a great fun conversation there, when I wasn't there. It does hurt tho. So I just stopped. And boom, years and years with no contact. Great!

Sometimes, I still feel this urge to text them and ask if they're okay. But something inside me keeps me from doing that. Ego? Maybe. Self respect? Yes, definitely. I might be wrong or misinterpreted everything that has ever happened but it felt what it did. And it wasn't good.

'They never call me first, so why should I?" I know, I know this is one big reason of losing connections. But have you ever talked about it with them? Have they ever told you?

I don't even know where I'm going with writing all this. But one thing I know for sure is that not everyone is good at making conversations but when they've made it clear, that they still want things to work, trust me your one 'hey!' can do the work. Your one 'hey!' can erase their insecurities and make them feel loved and wanted. It's not always their ego that's stopping them from being an initiator, maybe they have a past, childhood traumas or something else that resulted in making them behave the way they do/did.

Now, I'm not asking to babysit them or help them heal or become their caretaker. No. It's the friendship that we are talking about. And it needs understanding. Understanding of each others' situations. But if its not for any of you, if you can't keep up with someone like, like me, if my kind of friends are not what you like, then please communicate it. Tell us straightforwardly. Don't let us in and then treat us like we never existed.

Am I blaming them? Yes. I know I'm at fault as well. Apparently, I tried my best, tried to change myself as well, did things I won't usually do. But what did I get in return? No replies? No invitations for group meets? No invite to group video calls? Why is it that out of all the members of our group, I was the one standing on the edge. How come only I fell off the bridge?

I know what you'll say. "You should've put more efforts", "oh! you should have called or texted", "you are at fault", "you should've talked about your feelings", "it's equal-equal", "if you can't text or call, so can they", and so on.

But hey, you know, there's a difference between unable to keep a friendship and not wanting to keep one.

[3416]

If I were to hypothetically write a Hanahaki disease AU for 1634 who should I hypothetically be torturing with unrequited (definitely 100% requited) love?

Should the flower be a symbol of their love? Or the other one’s favourite?

I definitely know it will have a happy ending because I can’t physically put myself through writing something that doesn’t eventually have a happy ending.

(Also would anyone read it? There are 0 fics about it so I want to take it upon myself to make one)

i'm gonna answer this under a cut with my thoughts flkdsjf

okay, i lowkey forgot that was even a thing. it's been YEARS since i read it, BUT my first thought was it should obviously be maple leaves they cough up, just for funsies. and i do think people would read it!! though i know the fandom for this branch of hrpf is smaller than i'd like, i still think you'd get some feedback if you're on ao3!! i keep trying to think how to get some writers back into this, but i feel like the best way to attract ppl is to do the writing yourself... i haven't been able to force myself to sit down and write for some time so KUDOS TO YOU!!

as for who should be tortured with the unrequited love.... after reading a lot of 1634 fics (mostly from the 2016-2019 era bc that's when it was booming for them apparently), a LOT of people have this idea of mitch being the one more comfortable in his sexuality/pining after auston/maybe oblivious to his own feelings abt auston specifically but knowing he's gay.... but i think the opposite way is a bit more fun, imo. mitch is someone that's grown up in this very boys-focused culture and it's in his nature to glom onto guys and show them physical affection and the idea of him trying to fit into expectations of him... dating girls... doing everything the right™ way bc of how he was raised and criticized growing up... not fully letting himself deviate from the norm bc he does have the boys to lean on when it comes to hockey... is fascinating. with auston... he's always done things a little less conventionally... from the fashion choices and his opinions changing on that overtime to playing pro in a foreign country before joining the nhl to even being from arizona ... idk. the idea of him recognizing his own sexuality and figuring it out privately is more believable of the two to me. developing/having feelings for this guy who's been by his side since he was a teenager.. the loyalty and trust there would be so important to auston, who strikes me as someone that rlly plays his own emotions and private life close to his chest. like... plus auston's not really quiet abt HOW much he loves mitch so that angle rings very true to me. anyway... those are my thoughts on that personal dynamic. i think it'd be easy for auston to look at mitch, who is endearing to everyone on the team and likes to 'keep the boys together' as auston says, and see the way he interacts w other guys in that boundlessly joyful way and feel like it was unrequited. BUT. then again, it could go anyway since it's just fic... i just personally could do with more pining auston in my life, since a lot of popular fics from the olden days do the opposite. AND auston coughing up maple leafs (even tho he himself is a leaf... it would represent that hometown love mitch has had for them anyway) would make sense that way too.

i wish you the best of luck in writing it though!! it'd be interesting no matter what you do. i think all the hanahaki stuff ive read in the past is a very cutesy take on it, but rereading about it now is so.. almost gruesome/bleak. like... DAMN. anyway, no matter what you do, i'm sure it will be interesting and good!! sending you lots of productive vibes. i'm always down to talk about them lol.

[itsseohannbin]

Hannji Rambles / Another Life Update

hiiii Pookies!!

Hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves!!!

I'm just popping in with a quick life update (cause apparently I'm having a lot of those lately) to kind of let everyone know what's been going on lately.

I know I said a couple weeks ago that I was ready to come back to tumblr and begin posting again, and I am, however, there's been a bit of a change of plans in regards to me starting up my writing/posting fics again.

Because I have been put on a temporary stress leave by my family doctor for the next couple weeks, I'm trying to reduce the amount of stress/triggers in my life until my next appointment, where I will be reassessed to determine if I'm fit to go back to work or not. I want to continue writing and posting because writing has always been a strong outlet for me to relieve stress and clear my brain when the noise gets too much, however, I need to make changes to what I will posting in order to help keep my stress levels under control.

SO,

that being said, I will be posting the remaining few parts/chapters of Like A Volcano (for all my Hannie stans out there who are ever so patiently waiting), BUT at this time, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV for this fic. I wanted to, and I was super excited to write a part in his pov, but I've been struggling with writing it for the last few months and it's really put a damper on my already not-so-good mental state. Maybe in the future, I will upload a snippet, but since the idea of creating a Jisung POV for LAV is causing more stress than it's worth, it will be put on the backburner for the time being. I AM SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WERE WANTING IT I JUST CANNOT WORK WITH IT RN!

However, the last few parts will be edited/revised and posted in the coming week-ish so I can finally put that fic to rest and start up The Blackened Heart again bc I am so so excited to start writing that again!

In addition to the Jisung POV being scraped (for the time being), I am also putting a halt on the LAV spinoffs I had in the works (Connected, which is the Chan x Jo spin off, and Waiting For Us, which is the Minho x Ash spin off) simply because both of them are causing more tension and stress than necessary.. I don't like it when writing feels like it's becoming a chore, I'd rather write stuff that I'm excited to write and post, and that entire AU series has quickly become the opposite of what I want to do... I will be coming back to them eventually, but as of right now, I need to do what I can to alleviate the amount of distress in my life, and that means putting LAV/Connected/WFU on hold.

I am happy to say I will be continuing my commission for the lovely @bethanysnow that I've been slowly working on while I get back into the swing of things, ((beth baby i am so sorry its taking so long im just really struggling right now so please bear with me :( )) and I'm of course still writing drabbles, fake!text posts, and my OT8 "The L Word" series.

Thank you all for the never-ending support and love I'm still receiving from a lot of you despite my inactiveness. Just know I read every single one of your comments, reblogs, and things that you all tag me in. I am still very much here in spirit, just slowly working my way back up to being a fully functional human being

In the meantime, as some of you may already know, I am starting a small business where I make beaded keychains, rings, lanyards, bracelets and more. Beading has very quickly become a safe haven for me and its very therapeutic to just sit for hours watching tv and making stuff to eventually sell. I am starting up an instagram account specifically for this business called Hannji's Creations, so if you're interested in what I'm making and such, feel free to give me a follow over there. I'm making a lot of SKZ themed stuff, however, I'm also opening up ideas for other kpop groups and other styled collections in general.

Thank you again to everyone who has stuck around and checked in on me these last few months. I know life can be tough sometimes, and lately I'm having a hard time getting back up somedays, but you guys all make it more bearable, so thank you. thank you for your continuous understanding and unconditional love..

You guys are awesome!

can't wait to show you all what's in store!!

Much Love,

Hannji <3

[alakazamboni-blog]

For the ask game! 🍓 , 🐇 ,🧃, 🍄 , 🔪 , 🦷 ,☁️ , 🌸

OMG tumblr ate this ask for two days! sorry!!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

Oh this definitely started in college. I started reading fanfiction on and off (homestuck lol) in the 2012/2013 era. By 2016, my senior year in college, I was miserable and almost entirely reliant on tf2 and Danny Phantom fanfiction as a form of escape. My favorite fics, Phantom of Truth and its sequel Shadow of a Doubt, inspired me to finally start writing. My first works were terribly cringe hahaha and will die a nostalgic death entombed in my old laptop under the many things in my closet.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

never written reader inserts (unless you count second person pov). original characters for sure

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I try to keep a lot of my personal life offline. I don't have a big social media presence. Hmmmm... I really really really wanted to be a paleontologist when I was a kid. I got really good at identifying bones and knew a lot of the names of dinosaurs. I don't remember them anymore, but I used to I swear! (source: 5 yo me)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

:) My fav ship right now is serirei (of course), but i am very partial to ekurei and grey ghost. Despite my track record on AO3, I'm actually not a big shipper. I mostly like comedy and or angst, and in my writing, I like to explore alien concepts and humanity.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I have researched how long does it take a human to suffocate? to freeze to death? etc but I think these topics are probably pretty common among writers.

For fanfiction, I've researched nuclear physics, decay, and what's actually dangerous in a nuclear fallout event :0

For an original writing project (still unfinished - still unposted anywhere - i need it to be perfect cause i love it), I researched animal tranquilizers and probably got put on a list cause apparently that's a commonly abused drug. I don't know if that's the weirdest topic I've researched, but its definitely the most eyeopening one to a whole underworld I wasn't even looking for 0.0

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

1.) Humans are human. Even the people with physical and mental problems. You'll get very far by treating everyone with respect and love.

2.) Take things slow. This isn't a race. You'll find where your going when you get there.

3.) Touch grass. Literally. Go outside and do something. The simple act of leaving your house or office resets your brain, and you'll find yourself better off in the long term.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

:3 i wanted my fan username to be different from my normal one (in case a friend or family member or coworker searches me), so that forced me to choose something i'd remember. i went with alakazam + zamboni

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

i absolutely love animals and have so many pets! two dogs and a praying mantis. my girlfriend has two cats.

i also keep and raise a few different invertebrates like discoid roaches, giant canyon isopods, dwarf white isopods, superworms (and darkling beatles), and black soldier fly larvae (and soldier flies).

I used to have a bearded dragon (hence my feeder bug colonies), but he recently passed.

i do eventually want to have a koi pond, chickens, a rosy boa, some different millipedes, some silk moths, freshwater shrimp, starry night reed frogs, and i'll always keep dogs with me.

I'll post pictures later under the tag alakazanimals

[aradidnt]

Hello everyone, so I've been meaning to make a post about... something very major in the future, that'll explain further inactivity and because I've been keeping it a secret for a while, especially in this specific website because this is my safe space website, but well... can't ignore it anymore I suppose.

TW FOR: surgery, death mentions, possible E/D mentions but briefly.

so, I've been mute since childhood, not even childhood but since I was a baby, I can't talk, I've been like this my whole life without a voice, I use sign language and writing as a way to talk and communicate to everyone but... yeah as every other disabled person it's difficult, everyone ignores you, everyone treats you like a major burden, it wasn't fun these 18 years treated like this, I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment from everyone

so eventually, I fell in a deep deep depression and developed an... eating disorder, bulimia to be exact, I've had an eating disorder for over four years now, I looked through pinterest for images to make myself feel guilty for being... me, I thought, since I can't express myself, maybe if I looked like someone else people wouldn't treat me awfully? but unfortunately that ruined my life, and my health. especially my heart.

a few months ago, like let's say three or four, i went to the hospital because I passed out, and apparently, I had gotten heart issues for this, it got so bad to the point of me needing to stay forced awake so my heart doesn't completely stop, they'd wake me up from sleep too so mu heart doesn't stop, luckily after a while I managed to pass that point but, now here comes the therapist and the surgery part

they obviously had a psychiatrist visit me during my hospital days and I wrote down everything and he was very patient and everything, and I heard the news, the very amazing news, apparently since I'm now a legal adult and my body fully developed I can have a surgery to have a voice! I was so so happy... until the doctors said it.

Medialization Laryngoplasty, that's the name, it's basically a special treatment for vocal cords paralysis, but I was too excited to pay any part of the details, I was so happy! I'll finally have a voice! but then.. the doctors said it

there's a 50% chance I could die, if I didn't have... that eating disorder, if I didn't receive heart issues from it I would've been 100% safe from the surgery, especially since it's VERY rare to pass from a surgery like this.

my surgery is on the 15th, aka four days from now on, I never meant for it to end this way but I have hope, I have genuine hope I'll make it, I'll make it and have a voice... but there's always this part in my brain, 50% chance I could die. it means it's very possible. I don't want to die. nobody wants to die.

so this might um... explain further inactivity in the future, because if, and by god forbid it happens, and I actually... die,

I just want to say you guys are amazing, you guys always supported me since day one and my total drama days and I love you all so much, drawing was my number one coping mechanism and you all supported me for it, always liked my art, and I was the happiest person on the planet.

I never meant for it to be this so sudden, and I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but... I could die, I can't die and leave people that mean so much to me concerned about me suddenly disappearing, no one deserves that, all I can wish from amazing people like you is to pray for me and wish me good luck.

my doctor ordered me to delete social media because well, as mentioned above I would often look up girls to make myself feel guilty to starve, and also because of social media stress and anxiety and my heart can't handle it, so um... I'll miss you all so much, and this is a goodbye... for now.

[kitkatscabinet]

Heyy, I've been kinda imagining my own little scenarios, but I can't actually write (or explain, apparently) so I wanted to ask you if you have time, energy and just interest in general, if you'd elaborate on this HC.

Also, just a warning, this turns pretty dark at the end, soooo yeah.

So, basically, Y/N is Rhaenyras and Daemons oldest child (Targaryen features! :D) and therefore the rightful heir to the throne after Rhaenyra. Y/N and Aemond were always close in their shared childhood in kings landing, they bonded mainly because of Y/N, as she couldn't bear to see Aemond always alone or picked on as a child, but also because they both didn't have a dragon, so she always came to defend Aemond, even from her own brothers or family. They got closer and closer and Aemond and her eventually fell in love, BUTTT then the incident with Aemonds eye happened, Y/N wasn't involved, but she'd still be dragged along with her family to spend the rest of her childhood at Dragonstone. But even then she writes Aemonds letters everyday, but she never gets a reply, which doesn't make her lose hope though, she keeps writing him everyday, but she doesn't know that Aemond reads all her letters, so she starts to become angry, heartbroken and cruel, she always had a "way too dirty mouth for a princess" but with the years the fore in her only grew, the dragon in her shows more and more, and it is at that time (both her and Aemond are adults at this point) that she claims Vermithor, one of the strongest dragons alive. Lead by her heartache and love for Aemond, she sends him another letter, even though he never answered to any of them before, she asks him to meet her on a uninhabited piece of land in the ocean near Dragonstone at night, alone. She rides Vermithor to the location and, to her surprise, he actually shows up, and gods, he has changed just as much as her, but while she has matured into a fiery beast, he has turned into a cold shell of himself, to everyone, but her. And surprise surprise, he loved her just as much, and with Vermithor and Vhagar on their side, as well as both being trained swordsmen, they could very well end this war, by destroying anyone that stands in their way.

PS If you would include smut, I would love you forever.🙏

PPS I'm so sorry this got so long idk what happened there lmao

I will definitely be writing something further on this because I do really live your idea, but everytime I open my inbox it’s taunting me so I just wanna get it out 😭😭😭.

Tell you what she’s so much better than me cause I would be LIVID at Aemond.

He’s not replying? I’d literally start sending hate mail. I’m spreading rumours and getting noise complaints.

I’m such a petty and impulsive bitch.

I also quite like an angst ending where they do meet up and Aemond falls to his knees and grovels. She lets him fuck her and then confesses she fell out of love years ago. Defs tells him of all the men and women she’s invited into her bed, of all the far better lovers she’s experienced 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Probably taunts him for being so cold and unlovable and then just leaves him there to realise he’d fucked up the one good thing in his life before he ever truly had it 👹👹

Then again I am an angst gremlin.