#like my improv teacher even pointed out specific things i did and was like THAT WAS AWESOME I LOVED IT SO MUCH and guys

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

guys i got such a good grade in improv yesterday

[huellitaa]

girl's guide to academic success: ep 1! ⊹˚. ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 this post focuses on: actively rooting for success! ♡ part 2 -> ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. organisation

first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. recognition of talents & improvements

analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. laying out goals

set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. productive planning

plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. extra credit

put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. asking questions

please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. participation

participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. prioritising ur health

this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀inspo

──★ ˙ ̟🎀my notion

i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie ♡

all my love 🩷✨💬🎀💗

[starry-bi-sky]

miscellaneous danyal al ghul things

specifically about the danyal al ghul from my post/prompt here and i wanna get my misc. headcanons/thoughts on him (especially in his early stay with the fentons) out here before i make any other danyal al ghul aus

list under the cut because whoops this got longer than i expected. which really i should have expected

the Fentons are unaffiliated with the League, which was perfect for Danny faking his death.

he struggles with empathy. Empathy was not taught nor encouraged while he was with the League, so it's a skill that's been pretty stunted. At 15 he's better at empathizing with people, but he still struggles with it. He's pretty bad at reassuring/comforting people and usually acts as an emotional rubber duck for Sam and Tucker to vent to if need be. He sometimes offers blunt and sometimes mean opinions, especially if its about another person.

Sam and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin, they are however, pretty positive that he used to be part of an eco-fascist cult with a focus on martial arts?? They've been helping him tone down some of his more,,, extreme views on humanity ever since they caught wind of his more extreme ideologies.

He and Sam are still avid environmentalists and feed into each other quite a bit. They spend plenty of time at protests and pestering the school into more eco-friendly options.

Dash is not dead on the sole fact that Danny knew he had to lay low in Amity Park and killing someone was not, in fact, 'laying low'.

he did, however, traumatize him when Dash first tried to bully him. Safe to say, Danny is not bullied at school and neither are Sam and Tucker.

Danny didn't make any friends in his first year at Amity Park. He was surly, grumpy, standoffish, more stubborn than Sam, and pretty self-important about himself. Jazz was trying to teach him against these things, but she is a 12 year old unaffiliated with the League. Danny did not respect her nor listen to a word she said. It wasn't until like, year two that he finally started paying to mind what she was saying and slowly started to improve on himself

Sam approached him first, he rebuffed her quite harshly, and then Danny approached her sometime afterward when he overheard her talking about environmental rights. Sam completely ignored him though when he agreed with her, and Danny had to later learn that he needed to apologize for being rude to her when they first met. He did so eventually, and they started to talk more with Tucker and Sam.

Danny's a bit more reserved than he is in canon, although he steadily learns how to act as a regular teenager when he's out in public. He's a bit more friendlier at least, although when he's around Sam and Tucker he drops the act. He still has a somewhat formal way of talking, it's just become more casual after a lot of ribbing from Sam and Tucker. When he's angry or annoyed he starts talking poshly though.

His humor is relatively the same as in canon, if somehow dryer and more insulting at some points

Those rare moments where he gets really pissed usually ends up with him insulting someone in arabic or any of the other languages he picked up from the league. He is the go-to for Tucker's Spanish homework. (Tucker makes that mistake and learns that Danny is a very strict teacher)

while Danny doesn't view the Fentons as his parents, even five years after living with them, he does respect them to some amount. He respects them enough at least that when Vlad Masters comes sniffing around, he is suitably offended on both Maddie and Jack's behalf. And when he finds out Vlad was the one who tried to kill Jack and tried to tell him to renounce him as his father/parental guardian, danny threw a suitably sharp object at him and insulted him quite horrendously

Vlad still wants him as his kid. In fact perhaps even moreso after this.

Danny trains with Maddie to keep up with his training. It's not quite the same but it prevents him from getting completely rusty

Sam and Tucker know that Danny has a little brother, but nothing else beyond that other than Danny cares about him quite a lot and that he got his facial scar from keeping him safe.

Danny cares about Sam, Tucker, and Jazz quite a bit, but he struggles to convey it. Especially early on when he realized he cared about them and like instinct started being harsher to them and more critical of their actions. This resulted in quite a few arguments with Sam and Tucker and Jazz until he got sat down and told outright that the way he was treating them wasn't okay. It's a process he's still trying to unlearn even at 15. He has become kinder towards them as a result, and has begun looking for what they did right rather than what they did wrong.

He harbors a lot of guilt over how he treated Damian in the League, and its a pretty big conflict he has with himself since he's torn between telling himself it was for the best to make sure Damian survived the League, and feeling like crap over how harsh/critical of Damian he was and realizing that he probably could have come up with a better way of training him despite being a child himself at the time. Danny comes to the realization that more than anything, that he just wants to apologize.

His ghost form, specifically is outfit, is a combination of his hazmat suit and his uniform from the league, and he carries a sword with him. He also doesn't know how to react to Dani, honestly. Although it is fair to say that he figures out she's a clone instantly because of her whole 'I'm your third cousin once removed' thing and he freaks out. She spills the beans pretty quickly after that. And Danny is pretty skittish around her - or the equivalent of skittish. Her being younger than him kinda reminds him of Damian, so he's uncomfortable by her presence but learns to warm up to her.

[zipzapfrogboy]

BYLER DOUBT BE DAMNED (An analysis on blocking and it’s significance)

Read this if you’re having doubt because I promise it will help at least a little.

(This might be sort of long and a bit unorganized because it’s my first analysis of sorts but just stick with me.)

The main thing that confirms Byler for me (and helps with doubt) is the final shots of season 4.

You know. Those.

I’m definitely not the first person to point it out but I want to talk about it a little more in depth. Specifically the blocking. It is so clearly a deliberate choice to place Mike and Will between two other canon couples (Joyce and Hopper and Nancy and Jonathan respectively). It’s most definitely foreshadowing both to romance and possibly s5 teams.

I’m a theatre kid, I’ve been acting since I was seven, I have experience and know some stuff. If directors don’t like what you’re doing or don’t think it works then they’ll tell you stop. The improv you see in shows and movies are things that were approved and stayed in because the directors wanted it to (in like 90% of cases). Same goes with blocking. Actors can’t just stand where they want unless explicitly told to do so.

Placement has purpose and meaning. It is so unbelievably specific and thought out. I have a director/theatre teacher who gave us at least a 30 minute explanation about how important stage placement is and the what it can convey. On numerous occasions she’s made us take two small steps forward, a large step back, stand a bit further from xyz, etc.

I was in a show that started rehearsing in June and the director had been planning and working on it since March or maybe even before then. Blocking (and choreography in the context of musicals) is planned for weeks to months ahead of time. Directors have visions and the reasons behind how they set scenes is to execute that vision perfectly and convey the right message and emotions.

I’m sorry if that all seemed random I’m just trying to emphasize my point.

Obviously it’s a bit different for filmed content but I don’t doubt that the same logic is applicable. You don’t place two characters who hate each other together because it doesn’t make sense story wise or character wise.

It’s thought out, planned, and so purposeful. It’s not just random placement and it’s certainly not foreshadowing just team pairings. Two characters who are a part of a complex love triangle standing between two already existing couples? Right…

And so now my question is, why?

Why else would they set it up and block it like that? Give me an answer that explains the reasoning behind that choice; the choice of having El stand alone in front of them and having her boyfriend stand next to the person who’s in love with him. What else would that mean? That’s simply not how you do blocking.

When you as a director look at something from the outsider/audience perspective you need to see it with their eyes. What else could that convey? I’m being genuine when I say I don’t see anything else. If there is another way to interpret it (that makes sense and isn’t plagued by bias) then please tell me.

It’s a perfect example of foreshadowing. El standing alone symbolizes her arc of becoming an independent person outside of romance and Hopper. Her whole story has been about learning how to be a person and be herself. Her standing out alone in the field in front of her burning hometown isn’t supposed to mean nothing.

Just like Mike and Will standing together isn’t supposed to mean nothing.

We know Jopper is endgame, I can’t see why they wouldn’t be, and I’m 90% sure that Jancy will be endgame (or if they break up it will be on good terms). So, again, why would they place Mike and Will between those people. If it was supposed to be showing how close they are and how wonderfully strong their friendship is then why did they choose those other characters? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. IT’S THE DEFINITION OF A PARALLEL.

If I end up being wrong then idk.

Thank you for reading :)

Also there’s this so like

[bluemirrorangel]

the DPS book & characterisation

so I'm reading the Dead Poets Society book and while I don't particularly like it all that much it has made some bold choices when it comes to the characters, some I really dislike and others I really love. I'm going to go over that in this post :)

Todd Anderson:

Todd is so much angrier than he is in the movie and honestly he’s so real for that. He and Neil actually don’t get along as much as they do in the movie, they don’t really get each other because they are in opposite situations, Neil’s father has too many expectations for him and controls his every move giving his son little to no agency whereas Todd's parents actively neglect him, they both want what the other one has to a certain degree; Todd wants someone to care about him and Neil wants freedom. 

The book also gets rid of the flying desk set scene and we instead get a more sombre scene 

“Todd?” He called, walking over to get a better look. Todd sat shivering in the dark about a coat. “What's going on there?”  Neil asked his roommate, Todd didn't answer. “Todd, what's the matter?” Neil sat next to him on the wall. “It's freezing out here.” “It's my birthday.” Todd said flatly. “It is?” Neil said. “Why didn't you tell me? happy birthday, You get anything?” Except for his chattering teeth Todd was silent and still. He pointed to a box. Neil opened it to find the same monogram desk set Todd had.In their room.”This is your desk set.”  Neil  said. “I don't get it.”  “They gave me the exact same thing as last year” Todd cried. “They didn't even remember.” “Oh” Neil said in a hushed tone. “Oh.” Todd mocked. “Well, maybe they thought you needed another one, a new one” Neil suggested after a long, awkward pause. “maybe they don't think at all. Unless it's about my brother” Todd said angrily. “His birthday is always a big to do”  He looked at the deskset and laughed. The stupid  thing is, I didn't even like it the first time.” “Look Todd you’re  obviously underestimating the value of this desk set”  Neil said flippantly trying to change the mood. “What?”  “I mean” Neil said and tried to smile. “This is one special gift. Who would want a football or a baseball bat or a car when they could have a desk set as  Wonderful as this one?” “Yeah.” Todd laughed, infected by nose humour.”And just look at this ruler” they both laughed. They both looked at the desk set. By now it was pitch dark and cold Neil  shivered.“You know what my dad would call me when i was growing up? Five ninety-eight. That’s what all the chemicals in the human body will be worth if you bottled them raw and sold them, he told me. That was all I'd ever be worth unless I worked every day to improve myself. Five ninety-eight.” Neil sighed and shook his head in disbelief. No wonder Todd was so screwed up, he thought. “When I was little” todd continued, “I thought all parents automatically love their kids. That's what my teachers told me. That's what I read in the books they gave me. That's what I believed, well, my parents rather have my brother, but they did not love me.Todd took a deep anguished breath and walked into the dorm. Neil sat motionless on the freezing Stonewall, groping for something to say. “Todd,” he called lamely. As he ran after his roommate. 

Todd is less shy and nervous in the book and more quiet and brooding which changes his dynamic with most of the characters specifically Neil.

Neil Perry:

 Neil is meaner in the book, not flat-out mean just meaner, this makes him feel more like a real teenager. His dynamic with Todd is still a friendship and they still mean a lot to each other but there’s more depth.

“So what do you think of my father?”  He asked blankly. “I'll take him over mine,” Todd said softly, almost to himself. “What?” Neil asked “Nothing” “Todd, If you're gonna make it around here, you've gotta speak up. The meek might inherit the earth but they don't get into Harvard know what I mean?” Todd nodded, holding a white button-down Oxford cloth shirt. Neil held the achievement pin in his hand as he spoke. “ The Bastard!” He shouted suddenly, jabbing his thumb with the metal pointed pin and drawing blood. Todd winced, but Neil just stared at the blood intently. He pulled the pin out. And hurled it against the wall. 

He also calls Cameron a jerk to Todd instead of saying ‘he was born with his foot in his mouth.’ like he does in the movie this paired with his comment about Todd being ‘messed up’ shows that Neil can be judgmental of his friends and peers, this being said Neil still cares deeply for his friends especially Todd; talking to him gently and trying to figure him out.

“By the way, there's a meeting this afternoon.”  Neil said, “Are you coming?” I guess, Todd said as he grimaced. Neil put down the play and looked over at his roommate. “None of what Mr Keating Has to say means anything to you, does it?” He asked, incredulous. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Todd was defensive “Being in the club means being stirred up by things. You look about as turn up as a cesspool” “You want me out? Is that what you're saying?” Todd said angrily. “No,” Neil, said softly. “I want you in, but it means you gotta do something. Not just say you're in.” Todd said angrily “Listen, Neil, I appreciate your interest in me, but I'm not like you,”  he insisted. “ “When you say things people pay attention, people follow you. I'm not like that.”  “Why not? Do you think you could be?” Neil Pressed. “No!” Todd shouted. “Oh, I don't know. I'll probably never know. The point is, there's nothing you can do about it. So, butt out, all right?  I can take care of myself just fine, alright” “No” Neil said “No?” Todd asked astonished. “What do you mean no,”  Neil shrugged matter of factly and repeated “No, I'm not going to butt out” Neil opened his play and began to read again. Todd just sat and stared at him. “OK”, todd said defeated “I’ll go.”  “Good” Neil smiled and continued reading the play.

Charlie Dalton:

 Charlie is more emotionally open in the book, he’s also a lot more annoyed by Knox’s Infatuation (obsession) on Chris.

“I feel like I've never been alive,” Charlie said sadly as he watched Neil  go. “For years I've been risking nothing. I have no idea what I am.Or what I want to do. Neil knows he wants to act. Knox knows he wants Chris” “Needs Chris?  must have Chris”  Knox groaned “Meeks,” Charlie said, “you're the brain here or did the dead poets say about somebody like me?” “The romantics were passionate experiment as Charles. They dabbled in many things before settling. If ever,” Meeks said. Cameron made a face. “There aren't too many places to be an experimenter at, Welton Meeks.” Charlie paces as the boys considered Cameron’s observation. He stopped and his face lit up. “I hereby declare this the Charles Dalton cave for passion experimentation.” He smiled. “In the future, anyone wishing entry must have permission from me.”  “Wait a minute, Charlie” Pitts objected. “This should belong to The club” “it should, but I found it now I claim it. Carpe cavem boys seize The Cave.”  Charlie

countered with a grin. “Good thing there’s only one of you around here Charles” Meeks said philosophically. 

Meeks & Pitts: they mainly stayed the same, however they gave Meeks’ poem about the Congo to Pitts and cut out Pitts’ poem about the man that killed his wife, they also have Meeks call Charlie Charles and I think that’s kind of cute.

Knox Overstreet:

Knox has no personality outside of his infatuation (obsession) with Chris, which is disappointing because they could have done more with his storyline, he’s the most athletic of the poets and has an awkward friendship with Ginny Danburry, his reason for not joining the society was that he didn’t really get it and I think they could have made him into a more interesting character by giving him more moments with Ginny and having him do more at the party than assault Chris, he could have brought all the poets and that would have been such an interesting plot point, having all the boys interact with public school students.

“Might as well sit down until dinner,” Ginny suggested in an awkward moment of silence followed. “Chet only Wanted the Buick so they can go parking.” She confided with a blush, not being able to think about anything to say. 

Richard Cameron:

Cameron’s betrayal in the book hits so much harder than in the film because he’s a real friend to the other poets, he’s the first and only one to ask where Todd is at their first study meeting, he calls a club meeting when Charlie asks him too, and he’s the most invested in Knox and Chris. Book Cameron also takes more indicative with the club, he reads from the poetry book something he doesn’t do in the movie. 

“Say what happened to Todd?” Cameron asked as they gathered up their books.” Said he wanted to do history,” Neil said. “Come on, Knox”, Cameron said.  “You’ll survive this chick. Maybe you'll think of something to win her love. Remember, seize the day,” Knox smiled. Got up from the couch and followed the boys to their rooms. 

Cameron took the book. “This is serious,” he said and began to read.

“You know what the dead poets would say” Cameron laughed, “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may…”

Cameron was still well-behaved and overly nervous but he felt like he genuinely cared about the others, kind of like Claire from Derry Girls. 

leave a ship or fandom suggestions for headcanons, fics or just questions in general and I'll do them if you want :)

[senespera4]

I can't believe I have to post about this but the. The fucking-- Honkai Star Rail's writers are fucking insane and I have to write an analysis on the Literal Meme Update With The Funny Monkey Mascot

so uh spoilers for HSR version 2.6 Trailblaze Continuance, I swear I have an interesting angle with this (I'm only like halfway through the story too god fucking dammit)

This game has Opinions about educators and influencers and it is not afraid to be Extremely Blunt about how much they hate specific types of these "idea spreaders." I'm going to sort of work backwards from the point that I'm at (the reveal that Dr. Primitive is behind this) because I'm really just rambling right now and there's not much structure to this but I Need To Get My Thoughts Out

Dr. Primitive being involved in this isn't just an attempt to connect some tidbits from the Simulated Universe into the main story, I think they purposely chose him and this absurd and stupid banana theme because they wanted to comment on how when you have a bad "idea spreader" it's Bad bad. Dr. Primitive is positioned as an ultimate authority on knowledge by virtue of an Emanator, and yet his actions cause a reduction in knowledge because he is Actively causing people to regress back into monkeys.

This makes sense when you consider the two BananAdvisors you've fought up to this point in the story.

The first is a stubborn and close-minded art teacher, one that is clearly just attempting to spread their own propaganda about what art is truly worth something. They assign you a subject when the intent of the class is to paint something you want, they actively punish you for painting what you want, and instead of giving pointers on how to improve your art they will simply bash it and bash YOU until you have no motivation to continue. This fucking bitch did that shit to Chaletka Live and it was so infuriating to watch because you could just tell that he didn't care about her at all, all he wanted was Results. And if you can't produce results, you're a worthless piece of trash that shouldn't even exist in the first place.

The second is a fucking capitalist grifter-ass business professor who promotes extremely toxic "customer-first" paradigms that erode the worker and continuously consume them until there's nothing left. What's worse, his direct student is actively dragged into a similar mindset. Richie is Struggling, he is actively sacrificing his personal life for his business pursuits, believing that if he simply plays the capitalism game (and yes I am going to analyze this as anti-capitalist because I have an angle that HSR is an inherently anti-capitalist text I can't believe I'm fucking saying that that's such a stupid sentence) he will eventually reach success and happiness. As long as he pleases the customer, he will be successful. But the moment he outlives his usefulness, the moment he stops showing any sort of future promise to his employer, this is what happens

He is reduced to a mere resource sink, a mere datapoint on a spreadsheet which the accountant has decided is no longer producing enough profit to justify the costs. His humanity is stripped away, he is silenced, and worst of all he is coerced into doing so WILLINGLY because his employer and advisor and mentor manages to convince him that this is the right path for him, that he would be of more use to society as a speechless monkey than as a human with dreams and desires that are inconvenient for the business model.

This shit was the most infuriating thing to me. It reveals how the BananAdvisor knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He reduces Richie to something lesser, and acts surprised when you protest that he no longer has a voice because "things that are lesser naturally cannot speak." Because he made him that way. Because he purposely removed his ability to speak for himself.

I think the fact that the music continues to be the same goofy track throughout this entire scene of Abject Horrors contributes even further to that feeling of hostility that's made it so hard for me to get through this story quest without textually yelling at the characters. It feels like everything in the world is telling you that you're wrong for feeling this way, that your horror is laughable, mockable, even. Because this is the way the world works, and if you're horrified by it then you're simply too stupid to claw your way to the top, and you'd be better off as Literal Merchandise.

But also this is a lot of really serious analysis and I can't possibly ignore how this entire thing is themed in the most goofy, shitpost-y way imaginable. The monkeys are a deliberate choice, obviously, as a metaphor for regression of intelligence (and I think there's maybe something to be argued that it's a little bit too close to the "sheeple" trope but put a pin in that cuz I do think it's better executed than how that trope usually is), but they're also just like. Funny lmao. And really stupid. And it is also just multiple consecutive hours of banana jokes and I am going to clobber Dr. Primitive for making me endure this.

But I do think the shitpost factor is intentional. Because one of the main comments I've made about the banana visuals and shit is that I feel like HSR is doing some cocomelon shit to me.

And it's just like. The more I think about it the more the truth of that statement just smacks me in the face, cuz Cocomelon has been described as like visuoauditory crack for toddlers, and it's like. It's the numbing effect of how baldfacedly Stupid it is, you know. It's like the equivalent of jangling keys in front of a toddler, it is an overstimulating mess of colors and visuals that make no sense that's designed to just turn your brain off, and I think this is where HSRs criticism of "idea spreaders" extends from just educators in the case of the BananAdvisors to social media influencers in general. Like, I'm sure you've seen some of those tiktok livestreams that are just completely inexplicable reactions to viewer donations where the streamer is basically just entirely at the viewers' command, or the way AI generated Slop is all flashy bullshit and no substance. HSR, I feel, heavily dislikes this kind of stuff because they consider it to be "brainrot ideas" in that they actively turn your brain off because they actively prevent you from thinking about it.

HSR in general clearly has no respect for shitty educators or substanceless influencers because they show them as a Vile and Evil Force manipulating people into becoming speechless monkeys who have no thoughts of their own and simply indulge in meaningless """happiness"""

Back to the pin, this obviously has some connections to the "sheeple" trope, but I think HSR is being a little bit better about this because it does not place like. Any of the blame on the people actually being manipulated. Rappa and the rest of the Astral Express have a clear understanding that it is the fault of the people who benefit from the general public having their brains shut off at all times, and they're very sympathetic towards people who still end up in this kind of situation. It's not because they're stupid, it's because exploitative people and systems have tricked them there, and they have to be broken out of The Ooze

And that's why Rappa has so many indicators of rebellion and non-conformity. She's a graffiti-spraying rapper precisely because she is fighting against a homogenizing force of evil that wants to take away people's motivation and individuality to feed into the machine. Her song's major theme is about waking people up, getting them to see that the rules are purpose-built to suck them dry, and for them to rebel in their own personal way through personal expression. So it's really no surprise that they made her a cyberpunk aesthetic graffiti-spraying rapper ninja lmao

Tl;Dr this latest story is a commentary on how authority figures can purposely spread bad ideas in order to control the people they have authority over, and how this is a result of a system that actively sucks the people within it dry of all they're worth before tossing them aside. It's about capitalism, it's about toxic grifter culture, it's about social media brainrot, it's about breaking the rules when they're designed to hurt you, and hopefully once I finish it it ends up being about the importance of critical thinking and understanding what you want your place in the world to be, and to then defiantly carve out that little place no matter what stands in your way instead of just shutting your brain off and just going with what the people who are "qualified" say, no matter how insane and manipulative the things they say can be.

[runabout-river]

Thoughts on Jujutsu Kaisen Chapter 230 (spoilers)

This chapter was harder to understand than previous ones and that was probably because the translation I read was a little shoddy. I might have to make a follow up post on Sunday when the official translation comes out.

But from what I did understand is that Sukuna, that prick, is using Megumi's soul as a punching bag in this fight to let Mahoraga adapt to techniques without him taking damage. In this case it was the sure-hit of Unlimited Void. This probably only works on UV as well.

Theory: to be still able to finish the summon of Mahoraga after getting hit by UV, Sukuna disengaged his brain from Megumi's. Normally this would pose the risk of MegumI gaining back control of his body but not in this specific circumstance because the disengagement meant that Megumi's mind would be hit by UV, meaning even if he had been able to take back control in that moment, Gojo's own attack made him unable to do that.

Sukuna is really a royal bastard who leaves no room open for attack and Gojo was understandably distraught at realising that he hurt Megumi directly.

On Megumi: first, he has his shoes back. Second, he's still at the bottom of the abyss of evil in the same position as last month after Tsumiki's death. His eyes are also looking quite dead BUT despite all of that Gege still made sure to draw the reflection of light on him. Megumi is not in total darkness and at some point in the future we'll see what that means.

There is also Gojo's 6-Eyes look at Sukuna with Mahoraga in the background. We see two white circles in front of him, one higher than the other. These are CE centres most likely, drawn to represent the soul. They're two because there are two different CE signatures, Sukuna's and Megumi's. The higher circle, Sukuna's, has a piece of the lower circle attached to it.

We can interpret this in different ways. Literally, as in Megumi's CE and cursed technique being used by Sukuna right now with Mahoraga standing directly behind Suku. Or figuratively, with Megumi's soul being shattered.

Yuta had compared a burnt-out technique with an overheated engine. The engine was technically fine, there was nothing to repair because nothing was broken, it was just too hot to be used in the next few minutes. So what did Gojo do? He broke the hot engine and repaired it afterwards. Then et voila, a freshly made brain engine ready to use!

Sukuna's Domain breaking soothed my soul after the taunt he levelled at Gojo and did Megumi so dirty. But I did hope that Megumi had an active role breaking it. In the future, hopefully.

This is an awesome panel and even Sukuna's side eyes are bleeding. My problem here is again that I'm confused about the step by step happenings of the fight that led up to this. I might've avoided this problem if my Japanese wasn't as shitty as it is but instead of improving it during my limited free time, I rather write fanfic about Toji getting fucked in the ass by Benimaru Shinmon from Fire Force.

Teacher Gojo finally gets to shine after being dissed left and right the last few chapters. The Tokyo students are watching and we'll definitely see the things these behemoths are doing in this fight used by the good guys in the future. I won't be hearing about any asspulls when that happens!

Sukuna's grin is also extremely menacing.

We get the next round starting with another fist fight and Yorozu's words are back in Sukuna's head. Why? What do those words mean to Sukuna? Why is he thinking about them again? There are multiple interpretations and theories we can go with.

E.g. love for Sukuna could mean the love of fighting and the love to strive towards greatness. This is in contrast to Gojo who we only ever heard talk about romantic love (I'm not a stsg shipper but I am a stsg truther).

The loneliness is about being so strong that no one else can stand beside you. Why this phrase reappears here again might be because Sukuna is standing right now in front of someone who is on his level and Sukuna very much knows that without pulling every ability and trick up his sleeve he won't win.

Still, Sukuna didn't show much emotion in this fight even now, he straight up showed more personality in his fight against Yorozu than here

My theory is that Sukuna, unlike Gojo, started his life at the bottom of the food chain as a hungry child at the edge of starvation who resorted to cannibalism to survive. Sukuna showed a great disdain for lowlife who didn't stay in their lane and I think that's a projection of his own life and his achievements that no one else is ever going to accomplish.

Sukuna always seemed like he didn't see much in Gojo most likely because he saw him as nothing but an upstart who won the ability lottery and nothing more but that might be changing with these last few panels. Gojo fights with more intelligence and skill than just with his abilities alone.

[jilliam]

hi! this is super random, but are you still doing ballet? i’m thinking of signing up for a class and while i know it won’t be the same exact experience, what did you think of it? i danced for 10 years 14 years ago, so i’d definitely be rusty haha, and am curious what your class was like instructor and fellow pupil wise - thanks!!

Hi!

At this point l've stopped going to classes, I stopped around March of this year bc I was traveling a bunch in April and May and just never picked it up after things calmed down, and also be I started jewelry making class which was on the day that I used to do ballet (Tuesday evenings).

I was taking it at New York theater ballet, which is in the east village. They have classes on days other than Tuesday - I think Monday is beginner beginner like never done ballet before, Tuesday and Thursday are beginner but with some experience, and Wednesday is more of an intermediate class taught by the school's director who is apparently really strict and wants you to come in with a bun and has made some of my classmates cry, allegedly.

It was $14 per class for a drop in, but they had a deal that if you bought 10 classes in advance for $120 it comes out to be $12 per class. I think they recently changed it to $15 for drop in and $130 for 10.

I had basically no ballet experience before - I did it for a few months in like pre k maybe? And then I did it for a few months in end of 2019, and stopped when the pandemic hit. Then I moved to new york and started around September 2021 and did it until March 2024 (2.5 years?) going once a week

I really liked the cadence of going once a week, it made me feel like I was committed to something I wanted to do and that I could organize my life around doing things I set my mind to, and slowly but surely noticing my improvements and increased knowledge / skill / confidence with respect to ballet

I was probably one of the least experienced people there when I started, but nowadays if I were to drop in I would probably be somewhere in the middle in terms of skill. There were usually 20-30 people in each class and always like 3-5 people who were really good, like on a professional track at some point in their lives and just decided not to continue professional track but still have the technique and more fluid ~dance-y quality (as opposed to a beginner like me who's mainly focused on doing things with correct technique).

I definitely enjoyed it for the first few years, I really liked my teacher. For me I think the class is most worth it™ when the teacher makes a specific correction for my technique and I have things that I can specifically work on. I think toward the end, because I wasn't a beginner beginner anymore, I stopped receiving individual corrections so I felt like I was stagnating and it stopped feeling as fulfilling as it used to

In March 2024 I signed up for a 3 week ballet intensive which was really fun and really intense - it was like Thursday 7-9:30pm, Saturday 3-7pm, and Sunday 3-6pm. Doing this for three weeks I felt that I learned a lot (was able to finally do tour jeté :D) but was burnt out and wanted to take a break, and then I just haven't returned. Not to say that I wouldn't return, but it's not high on my priorities at this point anymore

Let me know if you decide to sign up for a class! I vaguely remember you being based in DC? Where are you now? Also feel free to dm me if you wanna chat more

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry just saw a post saying you do actually DO get taught media literacy and critical thinking in English classes and I was homeschooled until high school, but Ive also been to three different high schools across two states of america- which isn’t a lot but is more than most people get (assuming that most people go to one high school for four years instead of switching schools every year) and let me tell you. The English teachers almost always had the same problem. And I generally liked them all! English wasn’t a class I super hated!!!

Even my favorite English teachers didn’t really end up fostering a love of reading into the material or actually critically thinking about stuff.

What they all liked to do was talk about and lead you into THEIR interpretation to the point of basically dismissing any other readings. At best you’d get a “that’s a good point too, but I was thinking of something else” and at worst they’d basically just dismiss it with a clear lack of interest. As if you didn’t “get the point” for focusing on something else.

I remember this because there were a lot of times when I was bursting to talk about the parallels id drawn of the assignment to my personal experiences but I was too embarrassed or afraid or annoyed to because the few times i or anyone else tried to speak up the teachers were basically uninterested unless you hit on the specific reading they were obsessed with. At which point they’d talk at length about symbolism and stuff that, while interesting to me, was also hella annoying!!

My English classes made me afraid to get into academia because they all made it seem like there were one or two proper ways to read a story and if you didn’t immediately come to one of those conclusions then you’d be treated like you were stupid or hadn’t actually read the text.

This post also claimed that English classes teach you how to spot misinformation ???? The only thing even close to that would be history classes where we would sometimes discuss propaganda. Most of English class is reading assigned literature and then painfully sitting through the teacher trying to lead us into their interpretation. And sometimes you get to write things.

At MOST you’re gonna get the teacher telling you that something an author says is incorrect or a lie or that they’re biased but you don’t usually practice how to spot misinformation when you’re not prepped to find it.

I gained more critical thinking skills from being annoyed by the teachers readings and tearing them apart in my head than I did from any actual assignments. But that’s because I already cared about stories! So i wouldn’t have even had that if I didn’t already have some kind of interest in the classes subject matter!

Does all this stuff you’re supposedly taught in English class happen before high school?? What schools are you guys going to because from my experienced, American high school English classes (like a lot of classes) don’t really teach you shit unless you’re already interested in the subject.

I also think it’s pretty useless and mean spirited to imply people who didn’t learn that stuff were just idiots who didn’t pay attention. It’d be way more helpful to encourage people to want to learn stuff after school ends!! Not just because learning is fun but also because I feel like a lot of people see learning as something you can only do in schools & such and don’t see all the opportunities for self improvement past that!

Sorry I have no idea why a single one paragraph post bothered me so much, I think it’s cuz it’s past 10 pm 😭😭😭 so slightly annoying things lead to entire damn rants. I don’t even know if they were talking about American education I just was suddenly flooded with a ton of memories and barfed them out here.

[starmanbyler]

very important question ANY GCSE ADVICE i'm starting my gcse courses and i'm acc panicking sooo do u have any revision advice or anything!!!

and a fun question!! if u could be any animal for a day what would u be

ILY HAVE A GOOD DAY /p

HII RUBI I CAN TOTALLY SORT OF HELP??

first advice, don’t panic too much yet. or at all. i was freaked out when i started doing my gcses, but for now all you need to do is focus in lessons and if there are things you don’t understand, don’t be afraid to ask questions or look stuff up so that you aren’t left behind, because trust me, being confused about certain topics when everyone understands can be very frustrating. so if you need to do some extra revision to work on weak topics, that’s cool, but you will be fine if you don’t. at least take note of your weak points so you can focus on them later, because you’re saving yourself some unnecessary time. id suggest having a little notebook for that kind of thing.

if you want to revise this year (i’m assuming year 10) then i’d suggest maybe half an hour to an hour per subject in a week. and btw i did NOT revise at this point at all. i did revise for physics towards the end of the school year (like march-may) because i had a gcse a year early. but unless you’re really behind and stuck then just do the best you can and only intervene if you notice there are things you don’t understand, because again, this will really help in the long run.

i’ll be honest i didn’t start revising for the rest of my gcses until april this year. most of them i revised the night before. not to brag but then got 98877776666 😭 so in some cases you will do alright even with little revision. but you know yourself better than i do. look at how you do currently in exams and whether you struggle a lot without doing revision or not. some people tend to naturally be better at taking in and memorising content, but others need to work a bit more to solidify it which is totally okay and very normal. so if you do struggle then you should try and revise properly for the actual exams. start out just revising when you have specific topic exams throughout the year. revise for like a week before (cus these aren’t that important) and focus FIRST on your weak topics. that’s the key thing. don’t skim through easy stuff just cus it’s easy. it won’t help you much and is just a waste of time. you need to be honest with yourself and really try to improve the parts that are holding you back. try out different revision techniques every so often or when you have exams to see what works for you. i can’t give many specifics since i don’t know how to revise but there are a lot of resources and ideas online. some that worked for me are:

flashcards (i used quizlet over and over to memorise case studies and vocab)

free science lessons is a GOD

also mr salles is good for english! there is a little community on youtube of english teachers that i found helpful (and i’m doing a level now so hey i guess they worked) also just youtube in general is good for a lot of things, revision advice, actual specification content + explanation and whatever you want to find

if you play around with these now (and anything else you find useful) then you can be more prepared for actual exams.

when it comes to mocks (y10 and y11) they aren’t as important as people act like. unless there is a sudden awful outbreak of covid and they have to cancel exams (which is unlikely in a year or two), your mock results don’t have much effect. they may make you feel bad (i can promise you mine did) but even just a little bit of revision can make a difference come may of year eleven. from february mocks to gcses, i went from a 5 to a 7 in biology, and a 5 to an 8 in geography. i didn’t revise at all for mocks, and i did a day or two last minute for my gcses. i’m not saying that’s a good idea… but what i’m saying is that a little goes a long way. so don’t panic if you don’t get the results you want in mocks. i do suggest revising for mocks, to practice revising and so you have a better understanding for real gcses, mine is sort of a cautionary tale that just happens to have a happy ending. but if you don’t because you’re tired or struggling, don’t beat yourself up about it like i did, because it just makes you mad at yourself and it doesn’t help you motivate yourself. use this as fuel to try harder for the real exams.

id say for actual gcses, start properly revising in the january of year eleven. january is mainly mock revision, but after mocks, you can focus more on the right topics from march-may. and make sure to continue revising before each exam. it can work to just go over your weaknesses over and over again until it’s basically branded on your brain. even if you forget these the second you walk out of the exam, you will still succeed. especially with right-wrong answer kind of subjects (maths, science and maybe geography) gcses are 1% inspiration, 19% motivation and 80% memorisation. that’s probablt an exaggeration, but my point is, it’s okay if you don’t really have the capacity to fully comprehend every concept, just memorise things so you can regurgitate it into your exams. no harm done really. it’s only important to fully understand the subjects you plan to continue onto a level and beyond.

i knoww this is mostly year eleven focused so it might not be as relevant now but trust me the main point is do not stress right now. you are safe so don’t freak yourself out. it’s good to try and get ahead if you have the motivation, but now is your time to have fun and relax before all the academic pressure piles up. not slacking off, but just don’t worry! especially when it’s just september. you don’t need to start immediately, just try things out and work your way up to a system that works well for you!

and out of interest, what gcses did you choose? (besides the obvious maths english etc) and does ur school make you do religious studies?

and good luck of course!! i sincerely hope you do really well and you deserve it :) just work hard and do your best really.

also, if i was an animal for a day it would not be any bug cus i’m dead. if i had a human brain maybe so i wouldn’t act like an idiot and annoy people. or a dog because they’re chill. and cats can climb shit so maybe cat.

anywayssss love you i hope you have the best time at gcse cus i’ll be real with you i wish i could go back sometimes. sixth form is super interesting but way less worry free; so save your worrying for later!!

can’t believe i just put a lana gif in a post. lmao

[jin-zixun]

MDZS Reread - Chapter 4 (Part Two) - The Elegant Flirt (Refinement 11-18)

Manhua Chapters 30- Well 35 in this post.

Ch 4.1 ; Ch 3.2 ; Ch 3.1 ; Ch 2 ; Ch 1

"When Wei Wuxian reflected on it later, the start of his poor relationship with Lan Wangji could probably be traced back to the year when he was fifteen."

Poor relationship, yeah sure. Last we saw these two like zero lines ago they were snuggling in bed together. Come on Wei Wuxian get it together man.

"There was a highly respected and reputable elder named Lan Qiren in the Lan Clan of Gusu. ... Over the years, he had raised countless exceptional Lan disciples. Anyone educated under him for a couple of years, no matter how terrible they were going in, would appear decent coming out—or, at the very least, their poise and etiquette would see considerable improvement. Many parents wept streaming tears of excitement when they picked up their sons upon completion of their tenure."

Okay I did not remember Lan Qiren specifically being so sought after but like good for him? Maybe my feelings are colored from watching CQL but like Lan Qiren's classes in CQL at least... Kind of suck? But you know what, if the novel says he's the best damn teacher there is and everyone wants their kids in his class then like, sure. Send your kids to Lan camp.

What is with threatening to break legs? Is this a thing? I've gotta assume it's just a thing.

"Nie Huaisang continued, “And that Lan Zhan, he’s…sheesh. He’s the same age as us, but he’s not as lively as a boy should be. Stiff and strict. He’s the same as his shufu, or worse.” “Oh,” Wei Wuxian said. “Is he a pretty good-looking fellow?”

Presented without comment. I have no words. Okay okay, this is clearly Wei Wuxian's "hey this is the guy from last night" conversation but still "oh the hot guy?"

And Jiang Cheng's response like "Uh, they're Lans, they're ALL hot." Like thank you Jiang Cheng. What a great point.

The clan REJECTS DISCIPLES WHO AREN'T HOT ENOUGH oh my GOD

Wei Wuxian: "no no but he wears all white and has a forehead ribbon and also a silver sword" Buddy in what way are you narrowing it down that's literally all Lans. All Lans wear white and have forehead ribbons and have silver swords, probably. Silver is the standard color for swords, I think?

Yeah, Original/Novel Wei Wuxian absolutely was a little shit here.

Nie Huaisang and co being fully engrossed in this story, but unwilling to do the troublemaking themselves I guess. Tiny Jiang Cheng's expression here though... He's so unimpressed. He's just like "*sigh* and then what happened? Did you make it worse? You made it worse didn't you? Why am I even asking that of course you made it worse."

"Wei Wuxian wasn’t scared in the least. He waved dismissively. “What’s there to be scared of? Didn’t they say Lan Zhan is a child prodigy? If he’s so precocious, then his shufu should’ve taught him everything by now, and he should be spending his days in secluded cultivation without any free time to keep eyes on me. I…”

"Jiang Cheng tapped Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and whispered, “His eyes are on you. Best of luck.”"

Now I know (or at least Wei Wuxian does) what you might still be asking about all this...

"Lan Qiren was tall and thin, his back as straight as a brush. Although he had a long black goatee, he was most definitely not old, and in line with the Lan Clan of Gusu’s tradition of birthing beautiful men every generation, he was most definitely not ugly."

Is Lan Qiren hot? Well sure, but Wei Wuxian isn't really into dilfs. If you're into dilfs though... Well, just be careful he's very strict!

He then reads them out all 3000 rules one by one as the kids sit there in silence, gets mad about the kids not already knowing the rules, singles out Wei Wuxian (not unearned he's been a little troublemaker) and then scolds him for getting the right answers because he shouldn't be proud anyone could get right answers (but when Lan Wangji gets an answer right that's a reason to look up to him ok buddy). Then Wei Wuxian, the known troublemaker, the guy who Lan Qiren is apparently targeting as a known troublemaker and trying to humble because he's an arrogant little shit or whatever, that guy, he says some edgy shit and Lan Qiren gets immediately outraged and kicks him out of class.

Lan Qiren... He isn't THAT great my dudes.

"“Wei-xiong! You’re amazing! He told you to get out and you actually left! Ha ha ha ha…” “He couldn’t wrap his head around what happened for the longest time after you left, his face was so sour!”"

Wei Wuxian is an arrogant little shit though. But like... Maybe Lan Qiren should ask... If he is the one... Who needed to be humbled... Hmm... What about that huh?

Power move. No notes.

You know what? I'm gonna say it. Using your nephew like that in class, as an example to humble others... Hmm... Kinda shitty to Lan Wangji. That's literally an awful position to put him in oh my god. And LWJ is probably just like "this is normal" like why would you do that to him. And Lan Xichen like "uwu Wangji needs more friends" I WONDER WHY HE HAS NO FRIENDS OH MY GOD

Anyway.

"Nie Huaisang contemplated this. Then envy began to surface on his face. “What Wei-xiong said is actually very interesting. Obtaining spiritual qi requires cultivating and laboriously forming a golden core. Who knows how long that’ll take for someone like me? Any aptitude I have seems like it got chewed on by dogs in my mother’s womb. But resentful qi… That’s abundantly produced by all those nefarious creatures out there. If it could be put to use, how nice would that be?”"

Demonic Cultivator Nie Huaisang! Demonic Cultivator Nie Huaisang! Demo--

"Wei Wuxian laughed. “Why would I leave the grand avenue under the sun to walk the single-planked bridge in the shadows?"

Oh no an arc phrase that will reappear inverted ironically later on in the story oh nooooo what an emotional time to have emotions.

"The Righteousness Collection was the Lan family precepts. Their family precepts were so numerous that Lan Qiren had edited and assembled them into a thick collection, and the “Highest Justice” and “Standard Etiquette” chapters took up most of the work."

Stop! Stop! I already hate the Lan! I don't need any more incentive I am a Su She stan and you had me at 4000 rules. No one needs that many rules. You can cut those down. Some of those things probably just don't matter that much.

"Wei Wuxian spat out the sprig of grass in his mouth, dusted off his boots, and said, “Copy three times? I’ll ascend after the first time. I’m not a Lan, and I don’t plan on marrying into the Lans, so what do I need to copy their family precepts for? I refuse.”"

See it's funny because he does marry into the Lan and become a Lan. Bad Ending Should have realized it would be a Bad End after they killed JGY

"He was graceful and elegant, as if he himself were a tree of jade, mottled with the shadows of the leaves and the sun’s rays."

"Wei Wuxian, however, jumped down and went over to call after him, “Wangji-xiong!”"

"Wei Wuxian didn’t care. He chuckled aloud. “He can ignore me all he wants. It’s not like he’s even that pretty.” But then when he thought about it, yes, the boy was indeed that pretty. So he nonchalantly tossed that pouty feeling to the back of his mind."

Wei Wuxian falls first. He is smitten. Like, you're seeing this right?

"“Please, I beg you, Wei-xiong. This is my third year attending school at Gusu..."

Huh really wow Lan Qiren must be such a great teacher lmao. (Sorry, I'm bagging on poor Lan Qiren now, does he deserve it? Probably not, but like... Maybe a little bit yeah.)

"This Wei Ying really was as he had expected—the largest threat to humanity!"

He's an edgy 15 year old. You know there's people actually killing each other. Dude there's at least four types of evil things you taught in class as standard stuff everyone should know about.

Is it because of the crush on Lan Zhan? It's the crush on Lan Zhan isn't it?

"Wei Wuxian blurted praise in spite of himself, “Beautiful writing! Best of the best.”"

"Seeing that he’d finally been able to tease Lan Wangji into talking, he was secretly delighted, like he’d seen the bright moon at last after waiting for the clouds to part."

Then he tricks Wangji into reading porn and I've got nothing to say to that. I'm sure that's very funny if you are an edgy 15 year old and very not if you are Lan Wangji.

It's a very cute Lan Wangji though.

Alright, I'll listen to him. No need to send him off.

We'll uh... Well I'll try to power through the rest next time (there's no chance it doesn't just devolve into me fawning over little baby minshan forever and delaying the end of Chapter 4 even more. No chance. It's Minshan all the way down.)

[flutterbloom]

This is a rant read it if you'd like.

Yesterday I had to take a speaking test which will make up 20% of my final exam. It is the first year that this new testing system has been implemented where there's an extra test or two for every subject that a student has chosen and most of them will make up 40% of the subjests final exam (besides math and the native language which have two tests and each makes up 20%).

While I understand the intention of these tests that we as students should take studying seriously but this new testing system was beyond rushed. I will mostly focus my thoughts on the speaking one but I will give a quick overview of the overall negative aspects first.

Firstly with the new tests came new programs. Teachers were not given the proper tools to prepare us. There were no new textbooks. They barely even started creating them when the new programs were implemented! Hovewer the teachers are doing a wonderful job trying to educate us in this havoc but I have definitely noticed how the quality of teaching in certain subjects has dropped since everything's been mixed up and we need to work from our older textbooks (which are perfectly fine and very clear in my oppinion).

Secondly the new tests were rushed. Currently I'm talking about the math one. Mistakes were found in the questions, they were made too difficult based on what we were studying, there wasn't enough time... And as a result we will be getting a better score? A few extra points? Sure this sounds great but do we realise how wrong this is? There shouldn't have been any mistakes in the first place for this to happen! And how will this even work? Will we all just get a +1 or +2 or will they have to check what we wrote in certain questions? It's all such a mess and such a joke.

This whole situation makes me worried about what to expect from the upcoming tests and our future. Because what does this say to us? That because of other peoples mistakes we have to blame ourselves for not doing better? Needless to say that these people are supposed to be responcible for upbringing a well educated youth out into the world!

Now that I'm done spewing my thoughts about the overall situation I will talk about the speaking test. Before I do I want to say that I think I did ok on the speaking part so that this whole thing doesn't sound like "I did bad so all of this is bad".

Basically we had 20min to read the text and prepare a 5min speech based on it. The text was displayed on the computer but we had the ability to print it out. This is where the problems start like the printer not working or other technical difficulties. That didn't happen to me fortunately but it still could've happened to someone else. This would've greatly affected the students ability to prepare and in such a short notice. Secondly the teachers didn't even know the testing criteria until there was very little time left until the test. Preparations were also difficult since how can you help each individual to perfect their speaking from a class of 30+ students? Again this was a mess.

The main thing I don't get about this specific test is what does it even test? Sure it's your ability to quickly make a high quality speech but if you really think about it this sounds like they're testing the students ability to do their homework that they didn't do during a 20min break. And we had exactly that much time to prepare. Besides how can you judge a student based on their rushed speech? We had to prepare a speech last year and you could see that the students worked really hard on perfecting it in order to get the highest mark and I was one of them. I started working on it quite early, I went to talk with the teacher about what I could improve, I researched and re-read books because I wanted to do the best I can. Now compare all of that time and preparation to 20 minutes. Again how can you judge a student and their potential based on this? Ofcourse there will be mistakes and some things left out or unmentioned even if you had made notes because it's stressfull and in a way unfair! Unfair in the sence that some students know they won't be able to do well in such a short notice. This doesn't mean they're dumb or not responcible if they are fully capable and willing on doing something well with enough time given. I'm sure that this whole thing left many worried, dissatisfied with themselves and brought a lot of unnecessary stress.

To conclude this whole thing is a mess. We are the only ones who will have the ability to retake all of the tests exept for the speaking one since it's the first year they've been implemented. I wish the best of luck for the next year students who will have to deal with this. Or maybe by some miracle they won't have to.

[chai-hat-tea]

2023 writing self evaluation

I was tagged by the bestest and my favourite @beardyboyzx ❤️❤️

1. List of works published this year:

Oh man this is kinda long lol:

Basic White Bitch

Heat Waves

Read Like a Headline

The Lonely Dance of my Despair

Share a Single Page

Wish it Could be the Same as it was

Saved you to Find me

Twogether we’re Alone, and we’re Finally Home

And if you’re Thinking of me, I’m Probably Thinking of you

Saving Sweet Creature

Sweet Merry Loumas

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

All of them! Writing was hard for me on many levels, so to pull these off, I’m very very happy about it. And I’ve also not fully hated (more like cringed hard) reading my works so I guess that’s improvement 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Well no I’m proud of all of them, but what I’m not proud about is how I finished everything so last minute and I mostly wrote only one shots/short fics. Nothing was over 10k really. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I think the poem in The Lonely Dance of my Despair. Because I was originally going to copy a poem off the Internet but I felt so wrong and guilty for doing that and then I whipped this baby up in less than 5 minutes. Didn’t think I had it in me:

How can life go on

When I feel stuck here.

Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide

Life has left me far behind.

How can the rainbow disappear

When every colour bleeds into oblivion

The remnants of them leaving gashes

Deeper than the sadness that lays within

How can time fly

When I know not what or who am I

As the clock ticks by

I feel further lost outside

How can I go on

When everything holds me back

Chains me down in the trenches

And my magic sinks deeper in

As the escape moves fast ahead  

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I don’t receive a lot of comments, but I’m blessed and lucky that all the comments I receive are only positive and encouraging. Also, I can’t choose. All comments are great comments (unless they’re meant to be nasty).

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Oh the entire year lol. I’ve been in the worst place mentally, so writing on top of real life was so so hard. I’m glad to simply pull this off. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’ve had a bunch of those. I don’t remember the specifics, but when I read a few of my fics, I was so surprised I managed to come up with things. And during the wordplay fest, I also wrote for the travelling fic fest and so I legit had no time to read what I wrote because I was having the worst time at school (as a teacher, not a student thankfully) so I literally wrote and posted whatever @beardyboyzx betaed without checking. To the point I didn’t even know what I was writing. Literally functioned on autopilot that month. And then she would tell me about a scene she found adorable and I would blank out because I didn’t even realise I wrote it. So yeah, I think that’s pretty cool. 

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I grew because I didn’t cringe or get embarrassed while reading my fic? I think that’s a decent growth. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

The year didn’t start great, so I don’t know what to expect for the rest of it. But I do hope I somehow learn to stop procrastinating and pushing everything to the last minute. I’ve also noticed a sort of pattern in the way I write and I hope I can break that and learn to write differently. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh @beardyboyzx and @thinlinez have been literal saviours. I’ve had proper meltdowns that both have helped me through differently and I’m so so thankful to have met both of them and can talk to them about everything apart from the fandom and fic. Like no amount of thank yous can ever suffice. 

I met a lovely, kind human in @always-in-love-x and she’s helped me so much the past year! I can’t wait to implement what we planned this year!!

Shoutout to @kisochkalena for helping me out with moodboards as well! If I had to make moodboards on top of writing my fics during wordplay and travelling fic fests, I would’ve cried proper tears. 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Oh yeah plenty! I don’t want to get into specifics but yes there was a bit. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Just write. Don’t focus on the hits, kudos, and comments. I know it’s easier said than done, but you first need to do this for yourself than others. Validation is temporary and fickle, it’s always going to be you.

13. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

Would love to know about @jaerie, @greenfeelings and @mercurial-madhouse! Anyone else who sees this is welcome too :))

[sketching-shark]

Mk being a stone monkey gives me sm headaches like no it doesn’t mean swk is his father. They’re family depending on how u look at it. For example they could be brothers or mk being swk grandkid in the similar vein as Sun Luzhen.

My issues is just that literally pulled a naruto on all of us

Like he pull out the cudgel and it gave him his powers but are those powers actually his or swk??? Wgeres those it start and end??

DONT GET ME STARTED THATBY HAVING MK BEING A STONE MONKEY N PULLING SWK MOVE OUT OF THE MOVE UNDERMINE THE YEARS OF EFFORTS SWK TOOK TO MASTER IT(i know mk did a little training but that not what im talking about. It seen like him being a stone monkey had bypassed him the need to do actual cultivation one must need to do in order to do cool shit or be immortal. Remember that scene when he plucked his hair n then it became a clone? Yea like this kid hasn’t even exercised n yet?? Hes able to use qi like that?? Huh??? even wukong was mortal at his early stages n didn’t do the thing mk was doing besides that one timehe shoots laser from his eyes)

Like mk became a daoist immortal in a day than the 50+ years swk took to be one😭😭 it doesn’t even work like that mk. It just feels like they made mk be this way to show hes a better swk than swk himself.

N it already complicated the idea of swk somehow giving mk some of his powers(this kid would actually be dead like how azure lion was w je golden core) that u don’t actually know if its mk that’s doing these things naturally or is infused w that.

Did swk do ritual like how hd did in the novel with the three prince??(the arc introduces three prince who became the pilgrims disciples n so theyre were to wield weapons similar to that of the pilgrims via a ritual. One of the prince got extra buff stats in order to wield his replica of the riyu jingu bang that still the same weight ss the og)

^i doubt this bc lmk had diverge sm from jttw that u can swapped out the names w others and its be its own show completely unrelated to jttw.

Monkie Kid spoilers & complaining below:

Hmmm well you know anon as it is I actually found the insta-powers in the first few seasons pretty funny and charming specifically because they were often played for laughs in a pretty light hearted way. And it made sense for what the show was at that point! Monkie Kid set itself up as a relatively low-stakes and fun cartoon where a goofy and kind hearted delivery boy would get to go on all sorts of wacky adventures under the tutelage of the Great Sage, often going against some delightfully hammy villains in the Demon Bull family. Even when the stakes were still "save the world" the tone of Monkie Kid still made it pretty clear that we weren't dealing with the grimdark dramafest that has come to define so many other works. But of course a grimdark dramafest is in many ways what this cartoon would soon become (even while there is still some silly funtimes to be had), what with the world routinely being in danger of destruction, the constant trauma MK has been subjected to significantly because of his connection to the Monkey King, and with everyone and their mother yelling at Sun Wukong for being a terrible person, with the cartoon itself then often bending over backwards to prove just how true these statements are. Hell even SWK himself admitted that he's a bad teacher and described his entire existence in the season 4 special as little more than multiple lifetimes worth of mistakes (maybe he'll go on another genuine journey of self improvement and atonement but tbh I'm not holding my breath given that his miserable spot was where the journey to the west got him lol), and yeah at this point you do have to kind of laff that Xiyouji's ruthless murder monkey SWK is a more loyal friend, selfless individual, intelligent leader, and even a better shifu than Monkie Kid's. It is these writing decisions that have made me pretty leery with where they might be taking Qi Xiaotian being another stone monkey, especially since yeah lot of people seem to think this is going to lead to a fight between the two stone primates. Plus given the very recent indications that MK was both enraged that Azure Lion was using him for his own ends--something that other characters besides Azure have said SWK is also doing to Qi Xiaotian--along with the pretty blatant hints that MK's terrified he'll end up exactly like SWK I can easily see that fear turning into violent anger :(

[noira-l]

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

⋆ ★ '𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞' - 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

chapter summary: You are falling into darkness and meaninglessness. Satoru refuses to let you do that.

pairing: gojo satoru x f!sorcerer reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, lots of comfort, after 'premature death', after suguru deflection, describtion od depression, apathy, lost meaning in life, slight eating disorder, sleeplesness.

author's note: We finally get to see his softer side, though as is his fashion, he does it in his own way.

4 months after Suguru defected

"I know that the situation that happened has left its mark on you, however, you must not give up like this."

Yaga had been trying to reach you in his office for several minutes. To no avail. Your gaze was still blank, staring at a single point on his desk since you sat down, it didn't seem like you were present in any way.

Silence. You didn't answer anything. Just as you always do.

This is not your first meeting with your Sensei. Yaga has been trying to make his way to you for about a month.

A void in your head, so great and black that it swallowed you whole. Your body indifferent to every sense that reached you, you did not analyse it at all. If Satoru hadn't dragged you here, literally holding your hand and leading you, you wouldn't have come here at all. You didn't have the will or the strength for it.

Everything stopped at that moment. It ended. There was nothing left. Anything important and beautiful in your life was taken away from you by the terrible malice of fate. Your house burnt down. Your beloved had descended into madness. You no longer had anything to care about. Your entire past no longer mattered. Everyone is literally dead.

Even you died that day.

You wondered what was still alive.

Or at least that's how you explained it to yourself, unable to accept that the same person who promised you the world had just taken it away from you.

You were lifeless. It didn't take much to conclude that.

All that remained was a fragile, frail and empty shell of a person once filled with love, dreams and passion.

You no longer had the strength to cry, or to utter any words. If it wasn't for Shoko, you wouldn't even eat, and if it wasn't for Gojo, you probably wouldn't sleep.

You could smile altogether now. The world of jujutsu never broke you, the person you loved did. But you didn't, even though it crossed your mind.

What an honour to be the exception to the rule.

Yaga sighed leaning against his expensive chair.

"(Y/N)." he called out, though you didn't even flinch "I don't want you to end up like this. As your teacher, I recognises your self-doubt as his personal failure. The situation that has befallen you is a very difficult one and I understand that you would need time to get things back to normal."

He leaned towards you "However, in this world we live in, we cannot afford such a luxury." you knew his eyes were drilling into you.

"It has been more than four months. Your condition is not improving, only getting worse. At your request, I have specifically let you skip part of your training." you heard him grinding his teeth, but not out of anger, but out of helplessness "I'm doing my best not to send you on missions in this condition, because I know that even if something attacks you-" he paused.

-you won't even try to defend yourself.’ you finished for him in your head.

He was right, you knew it, and so did anyone who would just look at you. You lost a lot of weight, your skin turned pale got a shade of gray, and your eyes lacked their former spark.

You could see that Yaga, in that silence, couldn't find the right words. When he opened his mouth to say something, you finally muttered, pausing his speetch.

"But Sensei, you should…" you raised your gaze from the one point where it was cumulative to look the man deep in the eyes

"..let something finish me off. It's all meaningless anyway."

★ --

Yaga sat in his office, surrounded by a silence that seemed to deepen his worries. Outside the window, the rain drummed against the glass as if to wash the weight of anxiety from his soul, but it only deepened his sense of helplessness.

Your words, haunted him.

‘Let something finish me off. It's all meaningless anyway' constantly echoed in his mind, like a silent cry of despair that gave him no peace.

Never before had he seen such emptiness in someone's eyes - an emptiness that testified that all hope, all will to fight, had been sucked out of you.

He was incapable of seeing Geto Suguru roll into a similar spiral.

It was a failure that has pursued Yaga, reminding him of the fragility of the human mind.

You are reminder of that too.

Now he saw the same symptoms in your - empty eyes, unresponsive to sensory input, avoiding contact with others.

Every day when you came to training was like seeing a ghost moving among the living, unable to fully return to life. You was physically there, but you soul seemed to be elsewhere, trapped in a place you couldn't get out of.

In this state, Yaga knew he had to seek advice from others.

He must act. He will not make this mistake again.

You will not be a case to regret.

And he had a lot of them.

He was the first to go to Shoko. He met her in the corridor, as busy as ever with her work, locked in a world where medicine was everything.

"Shoko, have you tried to talk to her? Something about her condition?" he asked, although he already knew the answer. Shoko sighed, not stopping for a moment.

"I'm not good at such conversations." she replied briefly, looking at him fleetingly, as if those words would explain everything. Yaga knew that Shoko was doing as well as she could, but he also knew, that she was avoiding emotion like a fire. She couldn't help you in this battle that was going on inside. She was only capable of healing you on the outside.

The next stop was Nanami. Always serious, always composed, Nanami was someone who could be counted on in the most difficult of times. However, when Yaga asked him the same question, the answer was equally overwhelming.

"I understand what she is going through. I've tried to reach out to her, but… she's silent. I don't know how I can help her when she won't talk.’" there was a note of helplessness in Nanami's voice that had never been there before. Yaga knew that he sympathised with you, that he had tried, but that he himself could not break through this invisible barrier you had built around yourself.

Last was Satoru, always the enigmatic one, always full of contrasts. Yaga found him in one of the training rooms as he watched the younger students' classes.

"Satoru, did you talk to her?" he asked, knowing that Gojo was someone who could see more than others.

"I don't talk. I just sit by her when she's awake. That's all I can do." replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Yaga felt a mixture of relief and sadness upon hearing these words. Satoru, in his typical style, had found a way to be beside you, but even he, with all his unlimited potential, could not pull you out of your state.

★ --

3 weeks after Suguru defected

Gojo was initially not supposed to get so involved.

He kept repeating to himself that he wasn't good at such things, that he didn't know how to talk about such topics, couldn't find a solution for you or show you something he should.

Your storm you showed him that day left a mark in him. It awakened something in him. He couldn't deny it. He just kept living in the belief, that he wasn't capable of doing anything about it. He didn't feel that there was anything in him that he could offer to help you. He never knew what to say, he never knew what to do. He felt hopeless about it. Satoru was not the kind of person who makes the same mistakes twice or never learns from them.

He blamed himself for Suguru's departure. He felt that his corruption was his fault. His lack of attention, his lack of interest, his powerlessness - his failure to adapt to such situations.

Gojo Satoru was the strongest, that was the reason he was born. It was what he was made for.

He was not made to come into contact with the problems of humanity, he was always above others, he never touched such topics. And now here you are. In front of him. You are showing him this.

You bring him closer to this subject, you prove to him that he, despite his title, is still human.

He feels exactly what you feel.

You are proof that the feelings he has inside him - make him human.

What ultimately made him abandon the idea of leaving the subject to himself was the sight of you. Soaking wet for long moments on the training field.

He saw you from a distance, as he walked with Shoko to class. He separated from her to letting her go ahead, saying he would catch up with her. The rain was dark and heavy. he didn't need an umbrella, so he walked throught it like was nothing. A white beam of light, walking throught the dark.

The sight of you, sitting on the training field with a bamboo sword, completely soaked - stuck in his mind. It was an image that spoke more than a thousand words. You were physically there, but spiritually you seemed to be far away, in a place where no words could reach you. Satoru, though usually full of energy and humour, this time simply walked up to you and without a word took your hand, pulling you out of the rain. You didn't even defy him as the force lifted your body and made you float slightly above the ground.

He sat you down in his room, giving you a towel to dry you off. Gojo left for a while, leaving you covered in towels and a warm blanket.

He quickly teleported to the kitchen, to brew a mug of warm tea for you. He waited patiently for the kettle to boil the water, tapping his fingers against the kitchen counter in thoughtfulness. He thought about bringing Shoko to you, as you might have caught a cold. Suguru had mentioned that you catch such colds quite easily.

As he moved back, he set his mug down on his notebook-cluttered desk and looked at you. You stood at the window, watching the rain that had kept the world quiet all day today.

"Why the rain?" he asked, trying to strike up a conversation. You did not answer immediately, still staring at the raindrops reflecting on the window.

After a moment, you raised your gaze, looking at him with a blank stare. "Because the rain is clean. It washes everything away. Maybe if I stood there long enough, it would wash me away too." Satoru felt his heart squeeze with pain at those words, but he didn't allow himself to have any emotional outbursts.

You sat like this for a long time, he beside you, looking out at the rain. In the silence that surrounded, he could feel how devastated you were, how much you had lost the will to live. He knew that these feelings would not disappear overnight. He was aware of that.

So from that moment on, Satoru implemented a plan that seemed strange and effective, exactly his style.

★ --

1 month after Suguru defected

The first month was a time of anticipation and patience for Satoru.

When he first entered your room, he felt the dense atmosphere almost overwhelm him. The quiet, enclosed room seemed as if trapped in time. You were sitting on the bed, your back turned to the door, shoulders tense. It was clear that your thoughts were far away.

Satoru closed the door behind him, then took a seat against the wall, far away from you, right next to the door. He sat down on the floor, pulled his gameboy out of his pocket and began to play, pretending it was a normal everyday situation.

At first you did not even look at him. Your gaze remained fixed on one point, as if you were trying to find a meaning in it that you could not find anywhere else. Satoru, however, was not bothered by this silence. He concentrated on the game, allowing you to get used to his presence while giving you space. Managing the space was his special skill.

Every day he would spend a few dozen minutes in your room, sometimes playing, sometimes bringing something to eat with him. Often he would sit there with a meal in his hand, eating slowly, and the sounds of munching were the only sounds in the room. He never tried to get you to talk, knowing that your personal space was crucial at that moment.

★ --

2 months after Suguru defected

The second month brought slight changes. Satoru, feeling that your reactions to his presence had become more bearable, decided to get closer.

Instead of sitting on the floor by the door, he took a seat in the chair by your desk, which stood slightly closer to the bed. When he entered the room, you looked at him - that was a success! Noticing change in his behaviour, but you took a quick glance at him, so he couldn't be happier. He passed you a small smile, that was a welcoming greeting.

Satoru stretched out comfortably in a chair, pulled out a book and began to read. Occasionally he would reach for his headphones to turn on some music for himself, shutting himself off from the world but still being there, at arm's length, if you need him.

There were days when he couldn't concentrate on reading, so he would just sit, watching you out of the corner of his eye. As time went on, he began to notice that you would sometimes glance at him, as if trying to understand why he came here almost everyday that was free for him, even though you didn't exchange a word with each other. Even when he was busy, your room was the first stop when he came back from any mission.

★ --

3 months after Suguru defected

In the third month, Satoru felt he could risk the next step.

When he walked into your room one day, instead of sitting in a chair, he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. He felt your body tighten as soon as he sat down, but you didn't move away or ask him to leave. This was the sign he had been waiting for.

He pulled out his gameboy, fired up the game and started playing, sitting next to you. For a while, the silence was almost overwhelming, but as time passed, the atmosphere began to relax. Satoru noticed that although you still didn't speak, your presence had become somewhat more conscious.

He started bringing you food when Shoko couldn't. He felt that when he brought you something, you were more eager to glance at it. And you even took a bite of the sweet roll he left with you one day.

There were also moments when you started to move, as if you wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in your throat. Satoru did not push. He felt that these small gestures were a sign of progress.

★ --

4 months after Suguru defected

In the last month of this silent coexistence, Satoru decided to go all in.

When he entered your room, he didn't stop at the door or the chair. He immediately headed for the bed and lay down beside you without a word. He felt you body stiffen at first, but after a while you relaxed, accepting his presence. This was so strange, but so.. welcoming.

Both of you lay side by side, arms barely touching, but it was enough.

Satoru pulled out his mp3 player, turned on quiet music and placed it between you two, letting the soft sounds fill the silence. He watched the ceiling, occasionally glancing up to look at your face. The sight of it, now devoid of such deep pain as it had been in the beginning, made him relieved. He knew that your emotional state was still fragile, but he was sure that his presence was helping you in some way. You were helping him too, he just couldn't say that to you.

His presence in your room become such a small tradition, which he often looked forward to. Besides your dorm was a good escape for him, when he was looking for, there was never any thought that he could be at your place.

One day, as both you lay like this, you gently turned towards him and looked at him with a slightly softer expression on your tired face. You didn't need to say anything - your gaze said more than words.

Satoru smiled slightly at you, then closed his eyes, feeling that you had reached a state of understanding that was only possible through months of patience and perseverance.

He was content, that he could see your eyes weren't so empty or full of tears. That was a breakthrought, that he was so eager to welcome.

★ --

4 and a half months after Suguru defected

Satoru has not visited you for a week.

You knew he was back from a mission, because Shoko bringing you food mentioned it. She also said that it had been a long and exhausting one, on which they had sent him alone, with no support from even specialists.

It was already very late in the night, you had been waiting for him for a long time, and yet he had not come.

For the first time since moths, you got out of bed by yourself.

You poked your head out, to see if the light in his room was on, it still was. You were overwhelmed by a strange feeling, that you could not quite describe. You wondered what the reason was for breaking this little tradition you shared between the two of you.

You came to the conclusion, that he probably needed the space himself and was just using it. Although this seemed to you to be completely unsuitable for a person you came to know. Should you do something about this fact? You nervously bit your nail.

What if he now needs the same treatment that he used to give you? What if he just needs to be alone?

A conflict arose in your mind. You didn't know what to do, how to behave. You felt a little stressed as you slowly sat back down on the bed.

What should you do?

Your decision was made, when your foot visited the kitchens for the first time in months to brew a tea for him.

All you could hear in the quiet corridor was the soft creaking of the floor, as you approached the door of his room. The wooden gates were slightly open, as if Gojo didn't have the strength to close them fully. You carefully pushed it open with your hand, peering inside.

Satoru was lying on the bed, with his arms spread, as if the weight of the world was crushing him to the mattress. His white hair, always so perfectly styled, were a mess. Fortunately, he had managed to change into his pyjamas. There was an expression of extreme fatigue on his face, but when he heard quiet footsteps, he lifted his eyelids.

Your gazes met. You gently closed the door behind you, then stepped deeper into the room, setting your mug of warm drink down on the desk. Just as he had done this to you one time. Your limbs tremble slightly from the cold. Going to the kitchen in just your pyjamas and flip-flops at this time of year was a stupid idea.

You didn't exchange a word with each other. You blandly started playing with the sleeve of your nightshirt. You didn't need words to understand how tired he was, the slight bags under his eyes and messy look told you all you needed to know.

He changed positions on the bed, moving more towards the wall, grabbed a corner of the duvet and lifted it up. He made an inviting gesture with his head and his slightly glowing eyes went out.

You sat on the edge of the bed first. Feeling a little on unfamiliar ground. You had only been in his room a couple of times. The main place for you to hang out as a group was Suguru's room. Immediately you felt the warmth emanating from the sheets.

With a slow movement you lay down next to him, letting the warmth of the duvet and his scent greet you. The mattress bent slightly under you weight, as you turned to face him. You could feel how soft and molded his mattress was, how his pillow was pleasantly arranged. Your body slowly began to warm, heat waves spreading through your body, soothing your mind and dulling your senses. The air around you was warm, enveloping, and his presence added a strange sense of security that you hadn't felt in a long time.

You could feel your body relaxing more and more with each breath. You could hear the calm rhythm of his breathing, which worked on like a lullaby. You were so warm, not only physically, but also internally, as if this place, this moment, was exactly where you were supposed to be.

You slowly closed your eyes, feeling sleep begin to embrace you with it's softness. The thoughts that had been swirling around in your head just moments before, began to quiet down, giving a way to a blissful emptiness. The warmth of his body and regular breathing were like an focus points that, allowed you to pull your head away from your worries and sink into a peaceful sleep.

Finally, you allowed yourself to fully surrender to the moment. You fell asleep, with his hand still gently resting on your waist, in a place that seemed the safest in the world.

★ --

Satoru slowly opened his eyes, feeling the soft rays of the sun on his face. For a while he lay still, savoring the quiet of the morning and the warmth that beat from the body, cuddled into his. You were sleeping peacefully, your breathing was steady and deep, and face expressed the kind of calm he hadn't seen in you in a long time. He smiled slightly, pleased that you could finally truly rest.

He didn't want to wake you, but he knew the day was calling him. He shifted cautiously, reaching for the phone that lay on the bedside table. For a moment, he pondered how to play it, but quickly decided that the only person he could ask to do it - was Shoko.

you: "Take care of everything today? Thanks. >ᴗ<"

7:43 am

Sent a message, not waiting for a respond, he put the phone aside, before turning back to you.

He glanced at your face once more. You looked so peaceful, as if for a moment you had forgotten everything that had overwhelmed you for months.

Gojo gently ran his fingers through your hair, trying not to wake you up. He smiled, seeing how you moved slightly in his arms, as if you instinctively knew he was there.

He was so proud of himself, the sight of your sincere rest soothed his heart somehow. Thanks to him, you were finally able to rest. He felt satisfaction and contentment at the thought. He finally didn't feel so helpless and powerless. He felt that he had just done something, that at least one person, by some screwed up luck, had managed to be saved by him.

With a slight sigh, he closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink into sleep again. He knew that he didn't have to rush anywhere, that this was a day they could spend relaxing, even if he had responsibilities and pressures on him, at this point he totally didn't give a damn. He fell asleep quickly, holding you close to him, enjoying the moment of comfort you brought to him as well.

You two slept all day, cuddled up to each other in warm cozy embrace.

With the peace and quiet you finally rested, as you both deserved.

© noira-l | all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, modify, or redistirbute my work without permission

tl (open): @kalopsia-flaneur

[diversityequityinclusion-caucus]

Ungrading Philosophy of Science (1)

As a student, receiving graded papers back in my coursework was always an extremely anxiety-inducing experience. This was especially bad with teachers who insisted on returning hard copies of student work at the end of class or in student mailboxes. My strategy was always to run away as far as I could from the classroom and my peers before looking at the graded work. I needed to be alone before I could see my evaluation.

For me, a lot of feelings were associated with getting graded work back. None of which were positive. If the grade was not what I hoped for, feelings of shame flooded in the moment my eyes gazed upon the letter grade or score. I’m not proud to admit this, but when I was a younger student grades impacted my sense of self-worth in profound ways. Earning a grade that was lower than I had hoped for could plunge me into a deep depression for weeks – or at least until I was able to perform well on the next assignment.

I would say things were different – not better – in cases where I earned a grade that I had hoped for. In these cases, feelings of relief flowed in. But not just relief. Almost immediately following relief were feelings that discounted my work. “Sure I had earned an A, but I’m certain everyone else had too.” So, while earning a “bad” grade was bad for my self-esteem, earning “good” grades wasn’t great for it either. I think underlying these feelings are an implicit, immediate tendency to compare myself to my peers in the class, in the program, in the profession.

As a teacher, I observe even more things from my students when they receive graded work from me. Even though I return all graded assignments electronically, I continue to see many of the same anxieties in my students. But this isn’t all. To my dismay, I observe students only concerning themselves with the grade they earn on the assignment. I frequently notice that my students hardly pay attention to the ample and meaningful feedback I provide them on their written work. This has at least two unsavory consequences. First, students have no clue why they earned the grade they did. In really bad scenarios, students finish their courses with me thinking that evaluation of philosophical work is capricious and meaningless. Second, students do not learn from one assignment to the next. Because they never look at my feedback, they do not get a sense of what my expectations are. So, they miss out on opportunities to improve.

These are reasons that motivated me to adopt the practice of ungrading in my philosophy of science courses. If you listen to the gurus of ungrading in YouTube videos, you will hear things like “grading is ultimately arbitrary” and “teachers often give grades based on gut intuition and not on objective criteria.” I dislike these reasons for adopting ungrading. I think good teachers design their assignments in ways to avoid these problems. What attracted me to this approach instead was the potential to decouple student self-esteem from evaluation of work and to increase student reflection on the feedback they receive.

To me, ungrading has involved the removal of letter grades and point scores from all assignments in a class. Since I work for an institution that requires I give students letter grades at the end of the semester, letter grades have to be introduced at some point. However, my method has been to eliminate letter grades and point scores from each assignment and to introduce letter grades at a few checkpoints throughout the semester. The additional dimension to this practice is the Reflection Paper I have students do at checkpoints in the semester. The Reflection Paper asks the students to summarize the feedback they’ve received on their major writing assignments and to formulate an argument for why they have earned a specific letter grade. If I agree with their argument, they are given the grade they propose. I have a policy for what to do if I don’t agree with the student’s argument. If I feel the student has proposed a lower grade than what they deserve, I will give them the higher grade. If I feel the student has proposed a higher grade than what they deserve, I ask to meet with the student. During this meeting we go over the standards for the course and the student’s Reflection Paper. We try to arrive at a letter grade that we agree upon. There may be cases where agreement is not reached. However, my policy is that I will not give a student a lower grade without meeting with them first.

Implementing ungrading involved a lot of labor before the semester began. There was a lot of tweaking to do in the syllabus, writing assignments, class policies, and blackboard set-up. Shifting the class from letter grades/point scores is a subtle, but substantial change. It took a lot of my time to decide how I wanted to spell out the ungrading policy and the alternative evaluation system I would use. So far, the most frustrating part of implementing this new approach has been dealing with Blackboard. Blackboard is not designed to support this method of evaluation. It requires grades be associated with each assignment. I had to find creative workarounds to get Blackboard to comply – and even now I’m not fully satisfied.  

I can say that grading has become a more pleasant and efficient task. I don’t have to spend a lot of time agonizing over whether a mistake is worth a 3- or 5-point deduction. Instead, I can focus on the qualitative comments that are relevant to the expectations of the assignment. I should add that while I do not give letter or point scores on assignments anymore, I do give students an overall assessment to let them know if they have met expectations, are progressing, or are in danger.

I haven’t finished the semester yet, so I don’t know how I will feel about this approach ultimately. So far, the feedback I’ve gotten from students is that they appreciate not being constantly measured down to the very last 1/4th of a point. I will receive some feedback soon as my class is about to do their first Reflection Paper. I have a lot more to say on how I am managing different aspects of the class. For now, I’ll leave those topics for another day.

Janella Baxter

Fall 2023