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#like im still not where i would like to be but im like........ making moves idk
paigesfuturewifey · 2 days
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authors note! IM SORRY FOR BEING MIA college was kicking my ass (still is) and i’m trying my hardest not to crash out but here is an angsty fic :D
this is also heavily inspired by she wouldn’t be gone by blake shelton IK IK country music sue me it is unfortunately part of my roots so yes here she is
“i’m sick of this caitlin!”
you two had been going back and forth for a while about this, both too stubborn to admit who was in the right and who was in the wrong.
it’d been two months since caitlin went first pick in the wnba draft. two months of caitlin continuously forgetting about your date nights, two months of caitlin lagging hours on end and then eventually responding to your messages with one word replies, two months of wondering if caitlin would be home from practice at a decent hour or if you’d go to sleep in a cold, empty bed.
two. fucking. months.
of course, you understood the fact that caitlin’s job required almost all of her undivided attention and you were extremely proud of her and all her accomplishments.
but being second priority to her job was taking a toll on your mental health.
you were tired of being alone all the time. the sacrifices you made, picking up everything and moving to indiana with caitlin to be with her, felt pretty fruitless when you had barely seen her in your own apartment.
caitlin’s response came low at first as she rubbed her temples, “what do you want me to do?” and then she repeated it louder, throwing her arms up in frustration, “what do you want me to do?!”
“i want you to be here! you’re never here anymore, caitlin! i’m alone ALL THE TIME now!”
“that’s not fair. i’m doing this for us! for— for you!”
you shook your head, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “no. no. not for me. this is what you wanted! you wanted this! i didn’t—“
“i didn’t ask you to move to indiana with me!”
the statement felt like a slap to the face. caitlin, of all people, knew how hard of a decision it was to move to indiana. to be away from your family. your sister, your parents.
caitlin never pressured you into it, of course. she was insistent that if you had decided to stay in iowa, you’d make long distance work. but when you ultimately decided to stay with, whom you thought was the love of your life, caitlin couldn’t of been more happier.
the two of your popped a bottle of champagne in celebration and spent the night talking, laughing, planning your futures together.
a bittersweet memory that seemed so distant at the moment.
as you narrowed your eyes, you felt a tear roll down your cheek, followed by three or two more. “you know what, caitlin? you’re right. you didn’t ask. but it was a sacrifice i was willing to make for you!”
“you’re not the only one making sacrifices—“
the mere start of the sentence had you letting out a laugh, putting your hands behind your head as you paced back and forth. “you’re not listening.”
“i am listening—“
“no! you’re hearing me but you’re not listening to me!”
silence fell upon the two of you, both contemplating your next words because you both knew you guys were pretty close to crossing lines that couldn’t be uncrossed.
you placed your hands on the counter, leaning on it while hanging your head low, letting the tears drop onto the floor. “i can’t do this anymore,” you finally let out in a small whisper, but it hit caitlin in the gut. “i don’t want a life where i spend more time waiting for you than being with you.”
“you don’t mean that. please baby, stop.” caitlin’s warm hands were suddenly around your waist, leaning her head on your shoulder and kissing softly. “let’s just go to bed, yeah? i promise, i promise things will be different, okay? i’ll make more of an effort. i’ll try and get home on time for dinner. i know things aren’t easy right now, but i can’t lose you. we’ll figure it out, i’ll— i’ll try harder. okay?”
but even when those words eased your mind a little, you both knew the promise wouldn’t be kept.
so it wasn’t really a shock to you when you sat at the dinner table, candles lit and your meal sitting in front of you with the empty chair across from you.
you cooked caitlin’s favorite meal, wore her favorite set underneath your clothes that was her favorite color. you looked at the clock, and when it read 10:30, you scoffed.
you were fed up. you were well over your boiling point.
and, so, when caitlin entered your guys’ apartment at midnight, her heart ached a little at the sight of your untouched meals at the table, and candle she assumed was lit at one point.
she rubbed a hand over her face, quickly walking to your shared room. then she froze in her spot.
your side of the room was empty. from your nightstand being stripped of its decorations, to your side of the closet being completely empty.
the suitcases you used for when you guys planned vacations were gone. along her your toothbrush, makeup, hair products, basically everything that made your shared apartment shared was gone.
caitlin wasted no time picking up her phone and clicking your contact, holding the phone to her ear. she anxiously waited, suddenly feeling as if her whole life was falling apart.
voicemail. she tried seven more times. all went straight to voicemail.
her mind immediately went straight to denial, there was no way you picked up and left, right? you always said you would, but caitlin never believed you. never truly believed you.
or maybe she just didn’t listen to you.
she snatched her keys from the table, leaving the apartment and shutting the door loudly behind her. she bet all her money that her neighbors hated her.
that’s how she ended up in her car, speeding down the highway on a rainy night, frantically calling all of your shared friends.
she started with your mom, driving down the road at 90 miles an hour and switching lanes like an absolute maniac. she’d gotten honked at at least four times already.
“caitlin.” your mom greeted, though judging by her cold and and distant tone, and her use of caitlin’s full name instead of cait, caitlin could tell the news had no doubt got back to her.
“do you know where she is, mrs. l/n?” her question came right off the bat, figuring she had no time to waste in finding you.
your mom’s answer was quiet. and caitlin learned your families habits quickly enough to know that when she went quiet, she was lying. “please—“
“i’m afraid i can’t speak with you now, goodbye caitlin.”
then the line went dead.
with her left hand on the steering wheel, she punched the middle with her right and threw her head back.
her next call was kate because you three all had been very close throughout your iowa college years. kate always understood you in a way that made caitlin jealous.
and for a while, she she was a topic of argument in your relationship because caitlin constantly needed reassurance that she was the one you wanted.
there was clearly a rift in caitlin and kate’s friendship after, but after the move to indiana, they seemed to be mending their friendship. until now.
kate answered on the first ring with a hard question. “what’d you do, clark?”
“kate, i— i fucked up. she’s gone. i don’t know where she went. her stuff’s gone, her clothes are gone, she’s gone.”
“damn it, caitlin. you always do this shit— you drove her away, again.“
“do you know where she is?” caitlin demanded, arriving to her first destination.
“no.”
“you’re lying.”
“no i’m not—“
“i should’ve figured you wouldn’t help me find her. you’ve always been pathetically in love with her, ever since college.” caitlin scoffed out bitterly.
“caitlin—“
“know what? no. you’ve always been on her side, since day one. i can’t even do this right now—“
“you’re frustrated with yourself, about driving y/n away, so your picking a fight with me.” kate spoke calmly, fueling caitlin’s anger.
“don’t fucking psycho analyze me, right now martin.” with that she abruptly ended the call, getting out of the car and walking into the ice cream shop the both of you loved dearly.
after that, she went to your favorite coffee shop, after that, nalyssa’s apartment, then aliyah’s, then the hotel near your apartment.
she held her face in her hands, finally letting the sobs ripple through her. she suddenly realized how under appreciated your voice was. she was forgetting how sweet it was, how beautiful it was when you hummed her to sleep.
she was forgetting your voice already.
and she realized that she should’ve fought harder. should’ve told you how much she loved you, cherished you, needed you.
maybe, just maybe, if she had done that, you wouldn’t be gone.
safe to say caitlin didn’t find you that night, and no one told her where you might’ve went.
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abnomi · 16 hours
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random assorted headcanons for Turbo because I like thinking and having fun !!!! 🎉
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Read More to Find Out...or are you too scared?... i bet ur too scared ahaha youre too scared Lol! Hahaahaaa!!!
The steering wheel of his kart is covered in bite marks, similar to how one would bite their favorite pencil. he bites things to mark his territory because Nobody is gonna touch that unless they want all of his diseases (150+).
i just know he was fighting to restrain himself not to chew on any of the candy civilians
when it comes to music, he doesn't see the point of listening to it. he doesn't have enough patience to really take it in; to him, it's just a thing that exists and not much more than that ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ ∵⁠ )⁠_⁠/⁠¯
adding onto that point, this guy listens to metal clanking sounds and loud engine roaring for entertainment because he likes things that would overstimulate any normal person. turbo is incredibly sensory-seeking and will do anything for The Sensations
someone should take him to a heavy rock concert i think it would change him a little. keep that thang on a leash
related to being sensory-seeking, i think he would absolutely love running his hands over random textures. if anyone has run their hands along a wall while walking alongside it...He does that...If u know u know... he is SO stimmy its unbelievable. Unreal.
very pain-tolerant. he'll whine and complain about it for attention, but physical hurt really doesnt bother him much until it gets in the way of what he wants to do.
funnily enough, he is very picky when it comes to temperature. he can handle getting ran over but if its 1° too hot or cold he'll start nagging and nagging for it to go back to normal. turbo really needs his own enclosure i think it'd do him a lot of good
this is a more popular headcanon and its canon-leaning, but he's an artist :-] he usually sticks to graffiti art because its generally considered more "rebellious and cool" but he also sketches cars, design decals, and other stuff when hes alone!
i would love to see his process of character designing king candy because i dont think he really knew what he was doing
he was just like "ok what does a generic king look like. uhhhhh.... 1, old and jolly like santa claus.... 2.... uhh crown..... 3......... purple.... FUCK YEAH im so good at this!!!!🔥🔥🔥"
i just noticed how his design has like 0 actual candy motifs aside from his bow being a candy wrapper and his shoes having those little gumdrop end pieces. what was he THINKING
while King Candy has a lisp, i think it's a coverup for his actual voice because of how goofy and recognizable it is. Overall its the same as his regular voice, he just gets silly with it. i noticed that he still does retain some of his lisp when hes screaming his lungs out at Vanellope, however, so maybe he genuinely does have a lisp that makes itself known when furious :3
another thing i noticed is how he hisses his S's. very cool very cool the reptilian
@/tasticturbo made a post abt how he has tinnitus from the constant noise in his game and i couldnt agree more
AND THE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES. where did he get those...he needs to See
side note, the aforementioned account has made so many interesting analyses on turbo and theyre all so insightful. i recommend u check them out
i think he gets migraines from stress. constant buzzing or pain flood his head but hes like "IDGAF i need to DO something at ALL TIMES no matter what"
hes like a shark in that way. if hes not moving he'll die instantly. idk a lot about sharks or if thats how it works srry but im going off of what the Worms are saying to me and i dont have much to work with
i think a really big contributer as to why he lacks in the self care department is because he fails to notice that something in his body is wrong. hes far too distracted on something he thinks is more important than remembering to Eat Food or Drink Water or Wash Himself or
he's like "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT ALL OF THE TIME!!! I HATE MY LIFE" and he hasn't slept in 4 days
hes so me. Sorry.
i dont think turbo is necessarily suicidal, but the way he behaves shows a clear disregard for his own safety and wellbeing. he thinks that he knows what he needs but he really doesnt :-[ i think he has some kind of immortality complex, feeling untouchable and like nothing could get to him. as scared as he was when ralph was about to turn him into sloppy mush, he didnt take the threat very seriously. like it was some kind of joke
his kart regenerates every time his game starts up, so what if he smashed it into buildings for fun. He's the number one fan of car accidents. he is all about that shit
i think his living space would literally be a garage btw. its a place to sleep and a space for his car all in one!! he thinks its very convenient and awesome but i think he is coping. he has some old dingy stained sheetless mattress that he has never washed in his life and its covered in dirt and smoke particles. no wonder he has such heavy eye bags Dude Please
the turbo twins have a garage used in a similar way, and while its still pretty shitty, they still at least TRY to maintain it. they just fight a lot over who has to care of it. nobody taught them how to take turns ever
but this aint about them. maybe another day
i think that turbo would find comfort in garbage and keeping it around because its familiar to him. a big clean empty space would make him so mad and if anyone moves even an inch of scrap off to the side he will throw a fit. he generally doesnt pay attention to his surroundings but when its his personal space he is 1093 times more neurotic
i think the big empty castle he stole wouldve been a big transition for him. maybe it helped him clear his mind a little more to practice his tricky schemes...it helped him get more subtle
thats all i have for nowww ty for reading ^_^ if anyone else has any wacky ideas pleeeease tell me i would love to hear them!!
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randomized-sims23 · 3 days
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Aftermath Of The Attack
(small spoilers for yesterday's SAMS episode, also have a follow up fic to the event (could also be considered a followup to this one))
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Sun was at the house playing with Jack, Dazzle and even Molten had joined in with them, when he heard muffled shouting near the door. Looking up he saw Monty and Solar. Monty was carrying something that he quickly realized was Moon.
As he stood he asked Jack, Dazzle and Molten to go up to their room for a bit, the three agreeing and going up as Sun went to open the door.
“Monty? Solar? Moon, what's going-”
“Ask questions later, move.”
Sun stepped back as Solar and Monty rushed inside to the couch, Sun following.
“Guys what's going on?” He stopped and looked down at Moon.
He was curled up tight, the back of his head lightly smoking and his whole body shaking. Sun could feel a faint wave of negative energy coming off of him.
The feeling made him grip the back of the couch as he asked again.
“What happened to him?”
Solar left to get something cold for Moon's head, leaving Monty to answer.
“I don't know entirely but I heard screamin’ from Parts and Service. I went to check it out ‘n found Nexus holdin’ him down. Threatened to shoot ‘im if he didn't step off and he left. I don't know what the bastard did to ‘im but he nearly broke his circuit board in half. I think the bastard tried to kill ‘im.”
That made something tighten in Sun's stomach. This was twice now that Moon had encountered Nexus, but this is the first time he's actually hurt him so badly.
“Is Earth here? Or Lunar?” He heard Monty ask.
He managed to shake his head no, stuck in his thoughts as he stared down at Moon, shaking horribly like he was freezing.
“Luckily we managed to hold ‘im down long enough to saulder the board together again and had to repair a little in the cylinder thing.” Monty said.
“And he kept screaming “I'm sorry, I'm sorry Johnathan. No idea why though.” Solar mentioned as he came back with a cold cloth.
Sun swallowed hard as he sat down next to the couch.
“Johnathan was one of the few kids that wasn't scared of Moon. He took a liking to the kid. He found out things weren't good in his home and one night he snuck out, followed him home to see what the problem was…whatever happened there Johnathan never came back to the daycare. He never left that house alive again…I don't know if Moon killed him, or someone else did. But it's torn him up ever since. Not as bad as it used to but it still bothers him now and then…”
“So that's why…” Solar muttered to himself..
“His system is cooling down a bit…his battery's pretty low too…”
“S…un…?”
He looked over to Moon, his brother trying to weakly reach for him.
Sun moved to kneel in front of the couch and placed a hand on his shoulder, firm and comforting. He saw now that Moon's eyes were completely dark- had the encounter left him blind too?
Trembling fingers lightly grasped his wrist, the shaking easing a bit when they did.
“S…ta…y…”
Then he completely shut down, body relaxing a little as he did.
Sun sighed, staying for a moment before going to get the portable charger.
“Someone…hurt Moon?”
Sun looked to the door of his bedroom, Molten standing at the frame.
“I thought I asked you to stay with Jack and Dazzle.”
“They are…napping. Who hurt him.”
Sun sighed. “Molten, you can't go after him. As much as we'd like to see someone hand his ass to him, if you tried he'd kill you easy. Not to mention the dragon…we aren't entirely sure where he even is anyway so trying to find him right now would be pointless.”
“But Moon will be fine,” Sun said, more to reassure himself than anyone else. “We'll make sure he's OK, Molten. For now just stay with the others. If they ask just…tell them Moon isn't feeling too good right now, ok? Please?”
Molten was quiet. He made a promise to himself to protect his friends, his family.
“Fine…but will you…tell me…if you find…anything?”
“I don't know. Maybe? That might be more for Moon or Solar to decide though. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it though. For now just go on to your room, alright? Moon will be ok, he just needs to rest for a few days is all.”
Sun left the room, coming downstairs again. Solar had already covered Moon with a blanket, while Monty was trying to explain to Earth, in the best way possible, what had happened.
Telling Lunar would be trickier, to try and not let him get too worked up.
Sun hooked Moon up to the charger and sat by the couch again, watching Moon silently as he charged.
“Next time you meet him, I'll be there. Maybe this time I can protect you from him…”
-end-
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starry-bi-sky · 5 months
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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moeblob · 7 days
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As an attempt at a polite "going forward" comment...
I do not plan to draw for Three Houses or Hopes for a long while. I know a lot of my followers are from the past four years and I appreciate that you followed me at all! But if you are only interested in the art of those characters I wanted to be clear and say you can unfollow me at any point if what i draw no longer aligns with what you want to see.
I might draw for other FEs (like Heroes or 13/14/17) but I do not want to get involved with 3H any more. I do have other interests and across tumblr, twitter (now inactive), and sometimes on discord I've heard enough "I thought it was (FE3H character)".
This is not one person doing it and it is not simply one character being mistaken. I simply want to distance myself from 3H and have unfollowed a few people that reblog art of it because it just leaves a lingering bad taste in my mouth.
My ask box will continue to remain closed on this account for a little while longer which I apologize for. If you are okay with continuing to follow me but have something you would like me to tag as a warning please DM me for it! I do not want you to be uncomfortable if you want to stick around but I do not have the ask box open for a couple reasons currently.
Thank you very much for your time and I hope you can find artists who can provide art for topics you like.
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treasureplcnet · 10 months
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someone on the bodies production team you have to release more layout/bts pictures of charles whiteman's flat please. this is a great start but i need to know him better. particularly if it's got about as much mould as a second year uni house and if he owns as many chairs as it seems LOL
#ok the joke is at his expense but im already romanticising this shit#20-something loser karl weissman moves into the worst flat of all time and makes it a home#hangs a picture of his parents' wedding against the worst wallpaper you've ever seen#just buys what he likes and calls it decor#how else can you explain the fucking model boat next to the fucking telephone. AND YOU MAY TELL ME 'oh thats just random set stuff'#NOT TO ME!#and it stays until he's in his mid 30s. develops a habit of not cleaning up along the way#the shot where he seems to have taken off his shirt/tie/jacket and then dropped them off on various pieces of furniture. HE LIVES LIKE THIS#also entertaining the idea that its his parents' old stuff that he can't bring himself to throw out ..#i will created a fully fleshed out character using 8 episodes and fever dream visions if i have to#karl weissman#bodies netflix#edit: the original tags are above but since then i joined the discord and got to add these pictures LOL#saved this post as a draft bc i was like. i cant annoy people on the tag any more than i already have#doesnt matter. forcing this into the tag like a week after i made it anyway#im still so interested in the fact that it seems like there are more rooms that we never see#outside this bedroom and living space (and the bedroom isnt clear in the show either)#like. i rly need a 360 house tour NOW.#ALSO I FEEL LIKE A TOWN CRIER NO I DONT THINK HE HAS MOULD BUT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!!!!#the chair next to the liquor rly is something. hes MY babygirl
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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skunkes · 4 months
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mentioned before I havent felt any tangible significant benefit from meds yet which is fine bc it takes a while to kick in but one small good thing i have noticed so far is even when I get little sleep I feel less tired when I wake up
I don't feel completely incapacitated and in need of being in bed all day, fighting off the urge to nap, to recharge.
I also 1. actually get "Sleepy" now... instead of just feeling very hollowly "Tired" and like i Should be going to bed to try to sleep even though I don't feel like it, because it's about time to be doing that I guess, leading to tossing and turning for 3 hrs before finally succumbing to sleep.
and 2. I actually doze off. Instead of forcing self to try and initiate sleep...this has only ever happened during my rare Naps where im so tired that sleep puts me down by force. Never in actual night time sleep setting... im like dropping my phone and struggling to stay awake sometimes now. At night!!!
None of this is in any of the results I've seen for the medication so i dont even care if its some weird placebo somehow 😭 im jst glad its happening
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daily-linkclick · 1 year
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thank you everyone for following this blog for the daily doodles! i think i'll officially stop the daily doodles (for now) but i'll still be uploading doodles from time to time! i'm so happy to see a lot more link click fans on tumblr, and to see a lot more people appreciate the trio and the stories they touch :]
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shutup-andletme-go · 3 months
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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genekies · 3 months
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tag vent
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#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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#im back from a week with my dad at home and at the lake#it was really nice to b home for a while but now im a mess lol#bc it really makes me wanna move back to Appalachia and not do another semester out here#and also this was our 1st trip to the lake without my mom being there. she loved the lake. she grew up on the water and was named after an#island. she died before she could use our new jetski. which my dad bought for her and she would have loved#and i stood in her sandles bc my dad keeps them out by the fireplace and my toes fit almost exactly into the impressions of her feet#and i came come with another bag full of her clothes. and i feel bad for my dad being all alone in that big house#i mean hes got the dogs but theyre 7 and 8 and theyre big boys so they probably dont have all that long left. itll be so sad when they die.#there was a moment where i was talking to the dogs and he said i sounded exactly like my mom. which was kinda intentional#on my part bc i say a lot of things bc she would say them. stolen phrases and intonations. pieces of things ive taken.#its still weird that she's just gone forever. the time in the hospital feels like it was some horrible nightmare.#and now shes never gonna kno where we end up. she's left rooms full of half tumbled rocks and half sorted photos and half organized#classroom supplies. the outlines of a person that will slowly be stitched out of existance as time moves on until theres nothing left and#the memories are gone. its just sad is all. especially bc she didnt deserve it. no one does but expecally not her.#but unfortunately life isnt about getting what you deserve. its chaos and coincidence all the way down.#unrelated
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vaugarde · 5 months
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pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:
the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon
to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)
the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon
pretty much everything about that gible
blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)
boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen
pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character
#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit#the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league#but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle#i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/#that battling didnt even come up once#ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one#but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me#and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just#had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we#but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc#where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass#she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask#the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy#but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own#have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent#like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward#rewarding#imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show#as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all#was kind of a shitty move#like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th#which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself#by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!!#like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there#so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall#echoed voice
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numberoneanika · 3 months
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Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away
#I don't think I should tag this one#Okay I've typed my emotions out. For a more normal way to put it: While it makes sense to be upset#best move. I'm sure the blogs in question would be happier if you just told them about the roleplay guidelines than if you made a post#where multiple people call them annoying. Like can you imagine if someone said that about a writing blog#'So sick of x reader fics in the tag I don't want to see that and they're all so out of character' What a dick move.#It is a different case with rp blogs I'll give you that. But I think the principle of the matter stands#unless it doesn't and everything I said is stupid#original ramble below I was so mad for some reason. im not mad at anyone really. everyone is cool. love you guys#I get why people are unhappy that theyre clogging up the tags#like despiar dev said not to and people want to see content of despiar thyme not just ask blogs#I saw someone say they just blocked them and like. I get why. however. people do not know everything#but my brother in Christ you're not helping the matter!!!!!!!!1 send them a screenshot of what despiar dev said!!!!help other people!!!!!!!#just politely tell them instead of weirdly vague posting it helps everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe they just don't know#misspelling the tags so no one finds this post. I will actually be so pissed if people find this and r upset#Oh I'm sorry THIS is the post you're noticing? You have followed me for over six months and you haven't said anything about any other negat#negative feelings i've expressed. I see how it is#I wish the drdt confessions account was still open but whatever fucking whatever#sui mention#personal vent#whatever I guess
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reinabeestudio · 5 months
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you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh
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#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona#i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO#i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever#sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live#note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl#and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things)#(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol)#that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes#(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥)#and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO#and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D#i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on#usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol#like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude#i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍‍♂️
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br1ghtestlight · 4 months
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living alone & sick for the first time and have come across a difficult question: who washes the dishes when you're too sick/tired to do them for days at a time
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