#like if theres no change in 5 years | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jazzhaaaands · 2 days ago

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But like... if we print it - it is forever

your careers are temporary. archive of our own is forever

#when an author marks a fic complete and it stays unchanged for 5 years #ao3 #we need to get them funding to print at least 1 copy so we never lose the story!!#or even the not completed ones #like if theres no change in 5 years #print that shiiiiiz #and then check 5 more years and update what you got #like i would give them all of my paychecks to make this happen #no editing #beyond what the author does #like please still put your fic up the way you do #dont change your writing style #we need a physical copy of the shared stories we love #archive of our own #lemme know how big of a building were going to need and ill get started looking for a lot #im dead fucking serious #who is in?

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shrublee · 4 months ago

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erm- im just gonna leave this here-

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jamiethebeeart · 5 months ago

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I don't know where all these Spinaraki shippers came from in the last few months but hello hi welcome thanks for being here I love that y'all are here

#spinaraki #spinneraki #shuichi iguchi #shigaraki tomura #mha spinner #mha fanart #bnha spinner #🙈 i accidentally gave then sunset eyes but i dont have the heart to change it #(no seriously - the more of you that pop up the happier i get)#also!!!! theres been like 4 or 5 new spinaraki playlist on spotify since i last looked im BARKING im so excited to listen to them all #also apologies for my apparently just shy of 8 hours playlist on there but ive no regrets #if you ask i can defend each and every song that I've included there with references #honestly kind of wishing someone asks me to defend them #mha jbee #anyways 😭 this drawing makes me go “they were just kids” like agdhdkfkglglg 21 is so young #anyway i cant believe the manga this year (i assume thats why so many ppl started shipping them) its just so!!!!#people said we (shippers) were delusional and that shigaraki never felt anything special for spinner but wow! manga said we were right 😭#i mean!!!!!! they were friends 😭 they played together 😭 Shigaraki dedicated his last message to specifically spinner 😭

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ratatatastic · 3 months ago

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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

#ask #i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school #my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me #to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too #and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio #and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant #i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that #this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man #anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse #making our whorehouse a whorehome #ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall #actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with #the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another #i feel for maffhew i really do #theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people #matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek #on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores #him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this #*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it #but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him #all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time #and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little #and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

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telesodalite · 16 days ago

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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way #sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table #theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential #its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war #(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time #both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys #both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years #things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group #and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste #it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can #also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk #but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other #(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)

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puhpandas · 3 months ago

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getting into ben 10 is so sad bc I binge the entire OS and am like wow cant wait for more and then every other series doesnt have the things I liked about OS and even casual fans online say that 10yo Ben's character in OS is more compelling than all the others but theres barely any of him after OS

#how did that episode in ultimate alien when it brought back 10yo ben make him 10 times more compelling #but only his 10yo self and not his current self in the show #but fr it was so sad learning that they immediately jumped straight to a 5 year timeskip after OS #plus artstule change plus recast plus major personality shift plus redesign #like looking at alien force ben next to OS ben idk who the hell that is bc thats not ben #its fine like im chill with just being neutral/uninterested in the later series and just sticking with OS #thats the power of fandom #i dislike his omniverse characterization but that doesnt mean i dont love rook #and i wont stick him into OS as a self indulgent au #theres also multiple things i like about the later series for sure tho like #1 rook like i just said but also #ben and gwens relationship. i love that they didnt play around with them in AF #and doom dimension likeee #i dont like how theyre written in AF and UA but that stuff is bomb #i think it all boils down to me wishing the show didnt feel split up in eras with different versions of the characters #and it was more linear #like instead of instant 5 year timeskip it was like. now ben and gwen are 11 or 12. maybe even 13 #it shows more development that isnt just a huge jump from 0 to 100 #ben getting more mature is the natural progression of his character but also #its the fact that they gave him major development in OS then changed everybody so jarringly they didnt even feel like the same characters #like theres a reason OS ben is the most compelling #it should have been more linear close together and less broken up in my opinion #pandas.txt #they just made ben look so normal and boring in most of the clips ive seen in the later series #plus not even feeling like the same guy #maybe ill try and watch the reboot #it rlly is chill tho bc im fine with just liking OS its a great show #anything i wanted to see i can just think of in my head myself and now i have a bunch of stuff to play around with #once i get more into it #bc this show is so fun and great and i love it i rlly do wanna stick with it

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okitanoniisan · 7 months ago

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i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m

#ada speaks #there NEEDS to be more zhaoryu shit. but kazusaeji still holds my ass hostage so #if i am to write a comprehensive timeline of kiryu's sexuality and him coming to realizations about himself that lead to the way he's #changed in gaiden to be more. uh.#then i have got to start at 5 because its literally when he first begins to realize he's fr into men. and then gaiden & 8 he's like Out #i need his first time to be with saejima when he's at his lowest it just makes sense #theres so fucking much in 5 that feels like its really coming to a head #mayumi. why did they fucking do that. like also nakajima and his coworkers being like U Are Gay but.#mayumi. and hinata. why are you having him refuse sex with women TWICE in one game #i hc him as acespec but i also think he should get to fool around w saejima for narrative reasons #and by that i mean i think it would be absolutely devastating and tragic and also they would both legitimately be so normal about it #saejima knows he's going back to jail anyway so there's that #but god help kiryu he's absolutely trying to fill the loneliness void with People all the damn time #lowkey doing what he did with kaoru to saejima 😭#you're grieving the loss of your family? time to latch onto the woman going through the same thing just a year later #lost your emotional support daughter? allow a woman to live with you while you continuously rebuff her advances #lonely and directionless and feeling guilty for having dragged your loved ones into conflict again and again?#have sex with probably the Only guy who can understand exactly what you're going through but is consistently in a Way healthier mindset #it also makes the conversation they have on the rooftop of new serena so much more deranged if it happened before that #im normal btw thanks for asking

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fadewalking · 1 month ago

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I did it. I finally beat this game.

#and theres a long road ahead.#i may have 100% every terrirory but i missed a lot of dialogue #so i need to replay obv #but at least my desparation to complete the game is no longer #i can probably return to multitasking my time again instead of this being my singular focus #this means turning my attention to this blog #i have a lot of plans #im still on the fence about reviving felassan and putting him on this blog.#i sorta thought he would play a bigger part than he ended up doing #which is one of several disappointments in this game #but. ill say this: it was a good game.#it had its problems #some of them stupid af like idk how or why they did some of this shit #just making it bad on purpose ig??#idk but there were also some moments i really liked #i wish they could have just... done a bit more in certain aspects. they had a billion years to work on it.#if they needed more time to not feel so incomplete in certain ways #i wouldnt be complaining #anyway. yeah bittersweet like i thoughts #but not as bitter as i was fully expecting #thank god this didnt totally suck.#i woulda been crushed.#i give it... a 4.5/10 #if that seems low it's because i am a harsh grader and also bc i think small changes would have made a drastic impact #okay wait ill be generous and say 5/10.#what are y'all's ratings? am i too harsh? not harsh enough? did yall hate this shit or do i need to relax?#ooc

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6mayhem · 2 months ago

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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL #i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort #but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome #and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP #he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him #were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond #its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other #there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes #while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time #theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car #and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk #in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time #to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship #him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil #he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits #all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did #they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him #also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now #but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other #he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that #makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary #if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself #sorry oversharing oh wow

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saint-hymn · 3 months ago

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HYMN!!!!!! SHARE MORE WIPS AND MY LIFE IS YOURSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! /j no but fr i love it so much when artists share the steps of their creations it's so interesting and cool. i really really enjoy seeing the process!!! :D (so yes if you want to post more wips i'd say go for it!!!!) (i'll be in the tags screaming. very loudly.) (like always.)

alright uh. uh. what did zeus actually do in the original god of war. uh. dies idk thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i see your comments in the tags all of the time (i'm the most jobless full time office worker of all times and i scroll through my notes) thank you so much for being so hyped and chatty! i really appreciate it

#it genuinely gives me Life for every comment i get like +1 HP #quick hymn backstory: i have drawn since i was a wee child and i have only started showing it to somewhere *public* like a few weeks ago #and i did stop drawing for a year or two due to personal issues #so for a good bit over a decade or so theres only a max of 5 people looking at my art at any given times. and its always OC stuff #and *my* own stuff because i'm scared of not doing justice to other folks' characters. also i never tag my shit ever because why #much less making FANART and MAINTAGGING IT holy shit. that crossover was the first ever fanart i have ever made in my life genuinely #let me tell you just getting a few nice comments on that crossover art makes me so overwhelmingly happy that shit was life changing #my current Churned Out Art is a direct consequence of all the support given. you guys really do show me that the passion is still there #i just need the blorbos to channel my madness into #used to be embarrassed that it had to be an infamous (/aff) fandom but you know what i feel the love you guys have for the media #i'm giving back!#hymns questioned

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florida3exclamationpoints · 4 months ago

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.

#SORRY im mad about my stupid college again #WHY do they require so many internhip hours??????#no wait i KNOW why. bc the chef who runs the program is EVIL AND STUPID #he literally thinks he as a chef is gods gift to this earth. he thinks CHEFS are gods gift to this earth but only if they agree with him.#however. gods gift to this earth do NOT deserve breaks. ('chefs dont get breaks' is a direct quote)#he thinks all chefs should work like dogs and SUFFER. and the industry should never change #and he loves the power of being the program head. (and most students' advisor)#and he can say im preparing you to be the best!!!!! and get away with it #and he doesnt respect pastry chefs. and guess what i am hahahah #like i know the culinary industry is toxic and most chefs are jerks. but bakeries are very different from restaurants #so i thought i could handle some jerky chefs during school and get my degree and go work in a bakery #(i can handle some jerky chefs)#the problem was that a jerky chef ran the program as if you were already working in the worst restaurant environment imaginable #and he only taught like everyone wanted to be world renown chefs of 5 star parisian restaurants that take 4 years to get a reservation #(which is crazy that he thinks hes qualified to get other people to that level but ok.)#and thats great for people who want that! but some people (me) just want a cute little bakery!#also ! its advertised as a 2 year associates program #which. is true that you'll only get an associates degree out of it #but 2 years is including summer semesters. sorry i don't think thats how that works. i think thats 3 years #2 years for people who decide to do extra and take summer semesters.#and i think the only realistic way to complete the internship hours is to take an off semester and only do the internship #so you're not doing it at the same time as classes #but that adds a minimum of 1 semester and maximum 2 #or if you cram the spring and fall semesters to have summer off and do the internship during summer #summer semesters are shorter. so youd have less weeks to complete the same amount of hours #it is simply not a 2 year program for the average person!!!!!!#i was IN COLLEGE FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!! AND I ONLY TOOK 1 (ONE) PASTRY CLASS!!!!!! I SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!#and what do you MEAN you expect me to be in college for 3 years and only get an associates degree out of it. no thank you #its almost like...... an associates degree requires 2 years of schooling........ and theres too much happening in this program.......#bc the man in charge of it is power hungry and wants to control people and thinks chefs need to be beat into shape.......

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obnoxiousarcade · 7 months ago

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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been #staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo #im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely #ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn #i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love #talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for #another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um #.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON #the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont #think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have #to #NO MORE BEING A DOWNER #fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time #okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh #I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them #hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin #you what you think of him.#um third person..... um #okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit #im gonna delete this soon #Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that #i dont think anyones going to see this as is always #i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah

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globodamorte · 9 months ago

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having a very "oh I should've just killed myself in 2020" moment.

#everything. so far has been for nothing... lmao....my therapist will sing praises when i tell him i made phonecalls like it was nothng.but .#that doesnt even matter that literally does not matter bc even after all this time i still cant get my family to listen to me. im still #the same.old dramatic neurotic “what is wrong with you” “theres nothing wrong with you youre just lazy”#delete #like. im tired yall...#ive lived against my will for like 5 years now and for what. nothings changed i only lost more and more

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butchviking · 2 years ago

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to b honest i hope i never meet anyone in my chemical romance for more than 5 seconds i think it would kill me

#like theyre just guys. they are just some guys what would i even say 2 them.#u cant say some shit like 'oh i think about you all day every day u changed my life' thats insane. they dont know me.#u dont wanna just demand information from them about songs or whatever either.#theres nothing to say theres no way to b normal. no thank u.#i would like to meet gerard and ray each for 5 seconds and say 'hey great show' and they say 'thanks' and sign my silly little cd or w/e #and then i leave and we all retain our dignity #and i get to talk about it for years to come but do not carry the shame of having said something so stupid

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espytalks · 11 months ago

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i kinda wish there was a way to gift away digitally purchased games when i'm done with them. i have a handful of games on steam that are one and done experiences, or are games i just didn't like much, and i'm not gonna play them anymore.

like, i'd gladly give away my license to use the game to someone else, like a friend of mine, if i could. You can let people borrow physical copies of games, so why not digitals?

#espy talks #i just played an EXCELLENT game but i don't see myself going out of my way to play it again #even for completionists sake #i payed full price for it on a whim (20 bucks) because the demo was amazing #and spent the last week fixated on it #but it's.. a linear story based puzzle rpg game #and it's time loop mechanic made me go through a looooot of the same dialogue over and over #and it was worth it the one time but #unless theres a secret bad end or somethign that changes it substantially it's not worth keeping?#i might replay it once in like 5 years #i dunno #it's a good game! but i just wish. i could share it?#hand it over to someone who'll give it the love it deserves #i just feel sad seeing all these games in my inventory #like. they're lonely. discarded. forgotten #and a waste of money #i'm also just. sad lately #so that's messing with my perception rn

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