#like idk anything about superman but it feels like something Bad is going to happen to this dude soon

[strawbbz]

His charming looks and silly attitude have captivated me

[ntshastark]

DCEU Rewatch Rant Hour

With 100% DCU stuff (like Creature Commandos and Superman promo) finally coming out and my year-end work break starting, I realised this was the time to finally stop postponing watching the rest of the DCEU (especially since some of it is actually still canon and actively being referenced). And, since I'm already here, why not rewatch the whole thing!

This is actually not a liveblog, since I'm making my brother and my friend (user getawaykiss) watch the thing with me, but after each film I'm coming here to rant about how I feel about them now, in this day and age.

So, first offender:

Man of Steel (2013)

Except I lied! First I'm gonna talk about the Man of Steel Prequel comic! That's right, I'm including fucking extra material on this rewatch!!

so, the thing is on rco if you're interested in it, and it is pretty interesting! it stars kara!!!!! it was clearly written with the intention to be not only canon but relevant, which sounds crazy now but was pretty common back in the day. the mcu did it loads. it's actually not that different from what the dcu is trying to do with animations, if you think about it.

but considering kara is blonde in it it clearly didn't hold up.

anyway, there's a whole plot involving murder in the jungle and then something that's basically that one chris pratt/jlaw film but not treated as romantic. but what's relevant is that kara is a pilot leading a mission to terraform and colonise another planet, who ends up actually landing on earth for reasons. and her ship is, in fact, that one in the film that the military finds in the ice and then clark and lois get into (and then becomes the fortress of solitude??? i think???). anyway, kara survives the landing and goes out wandering the arctic, and that's the last we see of her. going by the film, this happened over 18000 years ago, though, so i guess there were no plans to have supergirl on the big screen then. but anyway, kara was actually super relevant for the mos plot! technically! oh and they also mention thanagar!!!! they call it "barbaric", but idk enough about the hawks to have an opinion on this.

so, did i like it? eh, it's ok. it's a bit rushed, but prequel comics usually are. i'm glad i've only read it now, because it makes it seem like kara is going to be relevant for the franchise and i'd be soo disappointed she wasn't. though i guess she ended up being even more relevant than they intended to while writing that, considering she at least shows up on-screen. but i'd like to pretend the comic is still canon and that blonde kara zor-el from thousands of years ago is just a distant relative, that maybe even inspired the name the later zor-el gave to his daughter.

the pilot-on-a-mission background is really interesting, though, i'd love to see it explored in an alternative universe. maybe they could do something similar in absolute? idk much about absolute krypton, but the darker tone fits, at least.

now for the actual film!

==

oh god it's so bad. i know this is exactly why they gave it to him but jesus fucking christ zack snyder SHOULD NOT be trust with a superman film. he did not want to be making a superman film, he wanted to be making fucking independence day or whatever. it has so many unnecessary stuff, like the action scene in krypton (it could've easily just been what jor-el shows clark in the ship later on, but then we wouldn't have the alien dragon and the magical engraved skull!!) and all the army stuff, oh my god, there was so much army stuff - and yet no army brat lois????? which is literally the only thing the army should have to do with superman???? and is so important to lois' personality???? must be why she doesn't have any.

though, to be fair, clark has even less. the flashbacks and the scenes with martha are doing so much heavy lifting, holy fuck, this man does not have a personality, we don't know fucking anything about him!!! half of the film is him wandering around and doing random things with random people, and the only one that actually gives him any depth is the truck thing - which ironically happens off-screen, and which was done SO much better in superman ii. like, i get the odd jobs montage was supposed to show how he can't help but help people, but there were so many ways you could've done this better. not to mention they then turn around and have him actually save people in the suit like fucking three times total???? he saves an army guy, and lois (maybe twice) and then the family zod was going to kill, and that was fucking IT!!!!!!! and he's so absurdly careless while battling zod, destroying buildings full of people like it's nothing instead of just taking the fight somewhere else (like he did in superman ii), and yet you still have zod going "oh if you care so much about these people-" like, i don't think he does, actually!!

in fact, throughout the entire film, everyone - even clark, when he's with lois at the cemetery - keeps telling us how bad the people of earth are, and how badly they're going to treat him if they know he exists, and maybe he should just let a bus full of kids drown and his own dad walk into a tornado, because people just fucking suck and can't be trusted! and then!! it never makes a point of disproving this!!!!! the closest thing there is, i guess, is the scenes with the daily planet staff helping each other scape the rubble, but that's just them taking care of their own. and it even makes a point to end with the army trying to track him, like akldslfn imagine making a fucking superman film where the underlining message is that humans are awful, i-

and the thing is, we are sometimes!! but not all the time!!! and superman should be about how there's times we aren't!!! how humans can be Good, Actually!!!!!!!! but no, the film decides to go out of its way to make superman's relationship with humans the worst possible! pa kent was a weirdo who wanted kids to drown, the general public first ever hears of superman when being collectively threatened by zod because of him (and this is something i ranted extensively about when i first watched mos back in 2015), even the excessive focus on the army (a bunch of original characters, mind you, not even relevant ones like general lane, because god forbid we actually develop superman's supporting cast) serves to constantly reminds us of the specific subsect of people who trust superman the least.

honestly, people made such a fuss over the absolute wrong things with this film. i don't care if he doesn't smile much, i'd be fine with a more serious superman if he at least had some personality and didn't make me wonder whether he actually enjoys the human race! i don't even care if he kills zod!! like, if you suspend your disbelief enough to ignore how that family could absolutely get out of the way on their own, that's one of the only good scenes for clark, character-wise! we see him care for humans, we see him care even for his enemy, we see him sacrifice his own innocence to save the innocent, we see his absolute despair at taking a life! it's good!!!! it's just a pity it comes right after he destroyed entire city blocks without a care in the world just to throw a few punches.

and the funny thing is, this film is pretty clearly a remake of superman i-ii, some scenes are even direct references. and it improves on in it in absolutely no way other than visually. and that's saying something, because as much as i love the original superman films there's so much in them that doesn't make a single bit of sense, but mos doesn't even far that much better (why the fuck did zod want lois on the ship???????????). this film is just. so empty. the characters have no actual substance, it's all made just to look cool!!1! (and nothing sums this up better than all the fucking christ imagery, but that's a whole other conversation)

also their clois has the least chemistry of all live-action, which is a crime in and of itself. didn't even have an identity porn era, probably because they thought the disguise was dumb. preposterous.

but it's not all bad! it has a bunch of cool/pretty scenes for giffing! henry looks so good with his lil curls! and, ok, if there's one genuine compliment i can make this film: i absolutely adore clark's relationship with his mom. both of them, actually, lara's brief appearance was great! but all of his scenes with martha are just amazing, the one where he beats the shit out of zod for threatening her is a personal favourite. it cannot be said they didn't give us momma's boy clark kent, at the very least.

[moonlightandromache]

It's completely fine dw about it. I haven't been a person so I took a while too I completely understand.

I find something I like and I stick to it lmao

I also have a friend going down the nursing path and she encourages me fully and is so excited and I love her and also she constantly tells me how every single nurse that knew she was going into nursing told her not to. So. Hopefully that works for you, the change could certainly be good. And it's good you have a backup if you need it. And you can ramble about your personal life I don't mind dw.

That's fine I get that!! Personally I would never read green lantern comics because ew green lantern but that's obviously a personal opinion. I get that. And that's fair!! I haven't read anything really with Donna Troy either aside from some parts in a Wonderwoman comic I never finished.

Hand sanitizer and I aren't as close as we could be due to the Multiple times I've sanitised my hands so I didn't have to fully wash them (I knew I only needed to wash them for mentally ill reasons) and then I proceed to actually just make dust appear all over my hands

I think something really sad happens (I promise that's not a spoiler I genuinely have no clue if it's even those books or even what it is) and that intrigues me because I love pain. But the used book is a large hurdle. I'm glad you're enjoying it!! I've only ever heard good things. And yes! I have seen, multiple times, unfortunately that's ✨American only✨ but thank you

Admittedly I haven't read anymore but that's the whole not a person thing it's not a comment on the comics. And that's fair!! I'm very excited for Kate!!

No that's fair I agree I power through so many comics just for Dinah

It should be grape juice honestly I think that would be more fun

Understandable. They need to love each other all the time constantly no matter what.

I wouldn't spoil it anyway but I can't remember. It's cool that you're having new bonus ideas it's always interesting to see what people think!!

Recently at my work we got a full renovation so we had construction workers in and there was this one guy I called Music Man Jake and he had Tons of batman tattoos (it might've just been 2 I don't remember) but I said "so you like batman?" And he said "yeah, y'know why? Because he can beat superman which means he's the best" and I was like no I don't think that's what that means I think they can both be beaten and said "yeah by who?" And I told him that I'm pretty sure there's like canon instances where Wonderwoman beat both of them and he told me that that was fake and I was lying.

It IS a strange one yeah that's for sure

well i have unfortunately since received incredibly different and more drastic work change news but i have new plans i place to some extent, but ultimately my goal to make it through the holidays (very busy time for my job) has remained. and 2024 will be. very different for me but i’ll get there when i get there. honestly it’s not entirely a bad thing for me personally but it does objectively suck. but putting off thinking about the full extent of all that bc like i said. gotta get thru december. but yeah that’s a little life update for ya.

you’re valid! honestly i probably wouldn’t read green lantern comics if i didn’t have friends who love them just bc they never really. called to me before? but one thing i love is trying media beloved to my friends. and with comics especially it’s been a lot of reading things that are recommended to me because there’s way too much for me to choose on my own.

like i said i met donna in the titans tv series (another questionable comic adaptation that i unfortunately am so attached to 😔) however figuring out what to read for her does feel incredibly confusing bc she’s not like. a big dc player ig? idk we’ll see what i end up doing i have one donna troy special run open on a tab on my phone to try.

SO valid re:hand sanitizer. it’s def more of a temp fix for me when i don’t have access to properly wash my hands until i can actually wash them. which yeah maybe not the best but like. it’s manageable for me which is all that really matters.

i have finished the first raven cycle book and kinda started the second and something really sad happening definitely would fit the vibe so far, i wouldn’t say anything incredibly sad has really happened yet but there’s def the looming constant of something that’s supposed to happen at some point bc of psychic visions and all that. i started on the second book but haven’t really had a chance to read much of it however i’m heading back to my parents tomorrow so i’m gonna listen to more on the drive. i think my only complaint of the series is there’s so much concentrated Teenage Boy (and Teenage Rich Boy too) and it can be a little annoying at times bc like. the two rich boys. they have money. go to therapy. consider alternatives. think things through a little more. but even they are growing on me (one more slow than the other but it’s happening) but really it’s been fun to read so far!

:/// aw it being american only sucks i’m sorry.

again you are so valid (i say that a lot i know ahsjjdsj) re: not being a person & also not having read any more bombshells. life can be a whole lot and boy can it be hard living in it sometimes so i completely understand. and the good thing is bombshells isn’t going anywhere so there’s no rush!

okay ive now finished injustice year 5 & ground zero! i didnt make any notes this time bc i kinda was just powering thru year 5 and then i binged all of ground zero in one sitting. ground zero i just read the other night and was more enjoyable being told through harley's pov however god putting up with joker was very hard im glad harley finally was able to tell him no and also beat the shit out of him. her harley horde was so cute and i loved that for her. also seeing the alternate universe justice league (or as i called them, the REAL justice league) seeing MY diana again <333 and CLARK !! god i missed that ah shucks goofball. and i really loved the ending of harley and ivy going off to the alternate earth to help that version of harley overcome her attachment to the joker <3333 ALSO HARLEY IVY ARE ROMANTIC!!! LOVED THAT!!

in my head i’m picturing that music man jake’s birth name is like. robert or something but music man jake had a better ring so that’s what he is referred to by.

i can’t remember what it’s from (i think it might be the justice league animated show??) but there’s definitely somewhere a bit where bruce is talking about his contingency plans if any of the core JL went rogue and he had these boxes full of said contingencies but he literally like made a point of showing that diana’s box is empty because she has no weakness. and that’s remained permanently burned into my brain ever since. i absolutely believe she is stronger than superman. in some/most(?) continuities she’s literally a demigoddess. clark’s just lucky bc earth’s sun is built different 😭. but yeah she did in fact very much kick clark’s ass in injustice and was only beaten in the fight bc sinestro attacked her from behind once she already had superman on his knees. so yeah. she can definitely beat superman. that’s my no 1 takeaway from injustice year four. (and then REAL diana being able to kick injustice diana’s ass tells me that real diana CAN ALSO kick superman’s ass should the need come) but yeah. i do really love wonder woman akshakbddjs

i have to say i’m a little hesitant to start injustice 2 just bc i *liked* how year five ended and i don’t want it to be undone BUT i wanna see HER (dinah) so i will read it. i’m just debating trying year zero first, any thoughts on if i should wait to do year zero until after injustice 2 or am i fine to read it now?

hope you’re doing at least somewhat well all things considered!!

[ssamorganhotchner]

Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway? For the character list.

Hi friend! I am so sorry this took so long!! 🥲💕 answers under the cut!

favorite thing about them

Aaron Hotchner - honestly? how freaking smart he is. everyone talks about spencer but no one talks about how smart aaron is.. he is incredibly intelligent & tbh, only adds to his attractiveness. he doesn’t get enough credit.

Emily Prentiss - she does whatever she sits her mind to and refuses to let people talk down to her.

Elle Greenaway - there is no other way to describe it other than she’s just a badass. i love everything about Elle 💕

least favorite thing about them

Aaron Hotchner - man’s works himself too hard. 🥺 he would do anything for his team (or his family) at a drop of a hat but doesn’t take care of himself

Emily Prentiss - she protects her feelings too much; I love her so much but baby girl needs to talk to someone 🥺 especially after season 6.

Elle Greenaway - i love her, but it really does seem like she’s low-key judgy🤣🤣

favorite line

Aaron Hotchner - “sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you failed.”

Emily Prentiss - “im giving him what he wants, mommy.”

Elle Greenaway - “the only time you’re going to see a leg from me is when im about to kick your ass!”

brOTP

y’all someone plz explain what this is

ОТР

and this???

random headcanon

Aaron Hotchner - he has 0 idea how hot he is, absolutely none. people flirt with him & he’s oblivious.

Emily Prentiss - she wears Dior perfume, sometimes men’s cologne

Elle Greenaway - she loves boxing

unpopular opinion

Aaron Hotchner - nsfw / he is a switch

Emily Prentiss - i personally believe emily is bi, not a lesbian, but prefers women over men

Elle Greenaway - idk if it’s an unpopular opinion or not, but she should have stayed

song i associate with them

Aaron Hotchner - so many!!! currently daddy issues by the neighborhood & superman by taylor swift

Emily Prentiss - anti-hero, taylor swift

Elle Greenaway -no body no crime, i did something bad, taylor swift

favorite picture of them

Aaron Hotchner - how the fuck am i supposed to pick just one??? 🥲 here’s one of many ❤️

Emily Prentiss - lord this woman is so 🤤😩

Elle Greenaway

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 21/?

Word Count: 1.5k

Author's Note: Y/N - Your name

Hello! I'm back! Time for drama!

Idk if this is coming out at the right time, I deadass forgot what day it is and ughughughyh

Warnings: Swearing, Discussion of Mental Illness (undiagnosed), Injury Description, Taunting, Attempted Gaslighting, Attempted Manipulation, Kidnapping, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd (I've missed saying that<3)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21)

Jason was stumbling over his words after telling Y/N that days were blurring together. When a decently loud crash was heard from the lower level of the Wayne Manor. Jason perked up, getting up and trying to stop Y/N from following him down the stairs.

Which was too late. When they turned to go down the hallway, they were both whacked off the back of their heads. Knocking the two of them out almost instantly. Y/N took a few seconds to catch up to Jason in being out, catching a glimpse of the fight going on down the hall. She thought it was Stephanie trying her best to fight off her attacker. But soon enough her vision blurred and blacked.

She fumbled herself awake in the room. She couldn't even take away anything from the room, it was just sawing and turning colours in front of her. She didn't notice anything in the room, the lights were blinding, she didn't even know if it was lighting.

"You're awake," she said.

And then it clicked. That was Aria's voice.

----------------------------------------

Days before the kidnapping of the Waynes.

Aria sat in her office. Clutching the book her twin gave her for Christmas. It was a journal, with details talking about the schedules of the Waynes. If only Y/N had known that the journal she lovingly gave her sister would end up the way it would.

She had doodles, floor plans, schedules. Everything. She wrote it all down from extensive stalking of the Waynes. She was not going to fail at kidnapping the Waynes. She was going to do it, get the ransom from Bruce, and possibly meet heroes. She was going to fight everyone to death who tried to rescue them.

She knew the morning after a Wayne Gala that the entire family would be off-guard. She knew they owned weapons from the fact of the attacks from September. So she had to catch them fully off-guard to pull off their plan.

She looked at her mask. She knew her sister had seen the mask, the cloak. She was still considering off-handedly that she should revamp it all, make it so her sister couldn't call her out. Maybe add a voice changer? She really didn't know.

If it came down to it, if she had the time, she would do it. If not, she would just hope that her sister didn't recognise anything. Crazy? Yes, she was. The brightest lightbulb in the box? Not a chance.

She went over her plans again, adding them to the massive board she already had of the Waynes. The red lines linking all of them, the paparazzi photos. She didn't realise she was that crazy. She didn't realise that she was that much of a cliche.

She thought this was normal. She thought this obsession was okay. She looked at the photos on the wall and the red lines thinking that this was perfect.

She didn't think her sister would even be bad at her for this. She thought her sister would understand, she would get it. She would forgive her and move on. She would understand her need to get close and with the vigilantes and the heroes. She would understand the need to befriend the villains and crooks.

She would. Aria swore she would.

She heard of the Wayne Gala occurring in a few days. She would prepare her weapons when she found out. Shine her scythe. Polish her guns. Polish her daggers. Clean her cloak. Only touch her mask with gloves on. Hour barely appeared in the sight of the vigilantes. They knew she was planning something.

She hoped that fact would make them come for her further.

"Ma'am?" one of her goblins asked.

"Yes. What do you want."

"Lexcorp is hiring," they shook.

"And? Relevance."

"Alter ego, ma'am."

"Noted."

"Ma'am?"

"Get... out!" she screeched.

"Yes ma'am," they said as they hurriedly closed her door.

Yelling was normal for the army she led. She would yell at them at any moment. For no reason.

She thought this was normal, too. She didn't realise people didn't yell at each other for no reason. She was raised to be yelled at. Y/N and Aria were always yelled at.

Y/N used the yelling to turn herself for the better. She thought of it as good parenting that she wouldn't replicate, ever, but she understood it.

Aria had a god complex. She only felt like she was worth it for 30 minutes of the day. And those 30 minutes were thrown into her work as Hour. She refused to work unless she was feeling her best, but if she was planning on kidnapping the Waynes, she'd have to learn to fake it.

Fake it all, fake nothing, fake everything. She was going to do what she wanted, maybe she'd extend those few and fatal 30 minutes of power into hours, into days. She didn't want to feel like this anymore.

She thought about how she was going to kidnap her own sister, her own flesh and blood, and possibly hurt her.

She pushed those thoughts away.

She refused to acknowledge the pain she was going to cause. She hoped there was none.

Y/N would understand, right?

---------------------------------------------

Aria groaned, getting up in her childhood room, the one she shared with Y/N. She blinked and tried to cling to her sleep, but to no avail. She was visiting their parents.

She looked over to Y/N's side. Her favourite colour painted the walls she had, all the woods matched. It looked far less messy than Aria's side. She figured it was because she was mentally ill, but not Y/N. But then she thought she wasn't mentally ill, and that Y/N was. Aria couldn't be mentally ill, she was doing the right thing.

The thought still pained her. In a few days, she'd be putting out a ransom for her sister in the news. She'd be threatening her life. She'd be putting her under stress and their parents under stress. If she was caught-

No, she thought. No chance.

----------------------------------------

Present-day.

"Aria?" Y/N questioned, basically in disbelief.

"Shut up!" Aria boomed back at her, "You," she said, lifting up Y/N's head with her long claws. "You are my prized possession."

"Prized," she echoed back.

"Don't worry, love," she said. Y/N winced, she knew her sister called her that. She didn't want to think this was her sister. "You will be just fine. If your parents pay up, that is."

"My parents don't-"

"Did I say you could speak?!"

She shut up. Fuck, she thought. Fuck this. Fuck you. I know that's you, Aria. If you can hear me, I hope you rot.

She didn't even know if that was how she felt. Her brain was spinning, like someone put her on a merry-go-round and left her there, to pick up the pieces. She didn't know how to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. She didn't want this to be her sister, her flesh and blood, the person she shared a womb, a room, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles- she didn't want it to be true!

"Maybe you want to know why I'm doing this," Aria asked the air while pulling Y/N's head up again. "Well, love.

"This is what happens when you date a rich man.

"This is what happens when you flip off the press.

"This is what happens when you find yourself wrapped up in the mess known as the Justice League Association, do you know who they are?

"Of course you don't. They're Batman, The Flash, Green Arrow, Superman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Black Canary, Aquaman and more.

"And their proteges, oh my God! Their proteges! You have Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, Batgirl, Spoiler, Orphan.

"And then Kid Flash and Impulse.

"Arrowette and Speedy.

"Superboy, Supergirl.

"Miss Martian.

"Wondergirl and Artemis.

"Aqualad.

"These people, my dear. These people are my nemeses. And I want them gone!" she maniacally laughed, "Dead! All of them!"

"You're... You're Insane!"

"So be it!" she yelled back, striking Y/N's face with her claws. The blood running down her cheek along with her tears. "If I'm insane, then at least I get paid!"

She laughed and left the room.

And there Y/N was, alone in a room where she couldn't even make out details, with blood running down her face. While she was aware that her attacker may even be her little sister. She was terrified. Petrified. Scared.

She wondered where the Waynes were, maybe they were all together? So that she could use them for ransom, maybe she couldn't use Y/N for ransom, so she was left alone in the room.

She wanted to know if they were all safe. Jason and she had only been dating for 6 months, but she did care- love- every member of the Wayne family so much. And she knew that most of the kids struggled with mental illnesses.

She knew them being alone would be detrimental to their mental health.

She also knew that she had no way, no way, of getting to any of them.

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

what have I created?

idk if yall like this, but they just exist not i guess :/

ok the the first one is Royalty AU

first things first, when I say Royalty AU, I don't mean the classic shit we've all become accustomed to. Im talking about the good old Chinese royalty! And I want to emphasize that these guys will/should be dressed in century appropriate attire. As someone thats read a handful of 'marinette, princess of china' fics from the ML Fandom, I've noticed a common trend. Marinette wouldn't be in the culturally appropriate clothes, always ballgowns. Not that there's something wrong with it, its just most of if not all these fic are set in China, so I'd expect Chinese royalty to dress as THERE dress code calls for. And since this AU takes place far in the past like, it won't make sense for any of the characters to be in royal clothing that wasn't from there region. I'm not trying to white knight/gatekeeping. Im Guyanese not Chinese. But since JTTW and Monkie Kid take place in China, it's only right. In my opinion that it. You don't have to outright agree with me.

With out of the way, it's time for that good old AU crack

- Wukong is the king of the Flower Fruit kingdom(or a different one if you'd like, again I'm only familiar with what western culture has taught me, but I'll try my hardest) 

- he’s single but rumor has it he used to/still is dating the Vigilante/thief The Six Eared Macaque

- *chants ShadowPeach violently* 

- no one know whether it true or not

- On of his wanders around the kingdom he finds an abandoned baby in a basket. 

- and no shit sherlock it's fucking baby Xiaotian 

- I think we all know where this is going because i'm a simp for Monkey Dad & Monkie Son shenanigans

- Xiaotian becomes prince

Shit, ill be referring to Xiaotian as Mk from now on, I mentioned this before in a fic I wrote for lmk that Mk's a nickname for Xiaotian for some reason- wait i don't have to explain my self to you people!

- Sun loves his son

- MK is treated differently by staff and others because he's not blood related to the king

- no one mistreats MK per say, because there King loved his adopted son, but words are said behind his back

- Sometimes MK hears what’s said, and he feels as if he won't live up to his dad’s legacy.

- He meets Mei during a festival

- Mei is from a noble family, that wouldn't mind if they got a connection into the royal family.

- but it becomes hella clear to Mei’s family very fast that the two are just friends, and will always will be. but hey there daughter is bffs with the prince so that's a plus.       

_

- the Demon Bull Family is rules a kingdom as well, I dont/am not creative enough to think of a name I leave that to you.

- It's a common misconception that DBK is a tyrant, when he’s not. 

- most of the time...

- they have been at war with the Monkey King for some time now and settled for a peace agreement.

- that agreement being there sons to marry

- oooo original i know

- MK and Red Son are roughly the same age, Mk being 20 and RS 22

- RS is revolted/disgusted at the idea of being wed to the Monkey Kings child, even more so when he realizes MK is adopted,

- but, that all changes the second he meets MK while he meets him by accident when he gets kinda lost in the palace when he and his parents go to discuss the arrangements.

- the second he looks at MK, he's instantly in love. MK less so, he's nervous and honestly kinda bummed he's not marrying someone he loves but it's for the good of his ppl, and he'll do anything for them.

- RS isn't even aware that MK is Suns adopted son until MK walks him back to the meeting room.

"Oh There you are MK! I was about to have a servant go fetch you!" Sun Wukong says, gesturing for his boy to come sit with him.

"S-sorry for keeping you waiting I got caught up in my lessons with Mr. Tang" MK responds, sitting next to his father. Red Son looked gobsmacked. The beautiful young man he had bumped into, was the prince of this land? Damn, life truly blessed him. Or cursed him depending on how you looked at it.

- the two are left alone in a separate room for a while.

- And MK straight up tells RS why he's agreeing to this union.

"Look Red Son. I've dreamed about meeting my one true love for a while. And I would give almost anything for that dram to be real. But I wouldn't ever dare give up my people, for as there price they mean more to me. I'm doing this for them, no other reason" MK says, his back straight and hands folded neatly in his lap. The look in his eyes was a mix of sadness, but that was drowned out by loyalty and determination. It just made Red Son fall for him even harder. Clearing his throat Red spoke.

"I understand, for im doing this for the betterment of my people to. But I propose a wager"

"A wager?"

"Yes, if i can make you fall in love with me by years end, before our marriage, we can live together like in the fairy tales from far away. But if I fail, in a years time afterwards you will be permitted to find your own path in life" Red Son stated. MK took a moment to process what was happening.

"So, if you succeed in making me fall in love with you, before our marriage we can live happily ever after?" Red Son nodded in response, letting the younger continue.

"And if I shouldn't fall for you, in a years time after our union, im free to leave?" Red Son nodded once more.

"So, what do you say?"

...

"Deal"

In the end, your free to choose their fate, should Red Son win the hart of Mk? Will he fail? Or will he let him go, and let him travel the country, after all Mk's a free spirit and keeping him trapped in a big house is like keeping a cannery trapped in a cage only for its song, only for it to dul. Or will the unthinkable happen and will both boys find their freedom? together or appart? I don't know, because that's all up to you 😉

personally, I’m partial to where MK and Red Son both find freedom together. Like they straight up run away together to somewhere far away and just live out there lives together. 

this could also be genderbent thing as well. MK or Red as their respective counterparts. Again it doesn't have to be, but it’s whatever bro. im just spitting out the idea. 

Also, there is a main side plot that they fight the WBS throughout the year as well, along with other shenanigans you wanna throw in.

____

The second is a My Hero Academia/BNH/MHA AU

truth be told i'm not a big fan of MHA i think it to over hyped(this is also coming from the same person that’s a Fairy Tail fan lol), and the fandom i don't even know how to describe that mess, but I will admit not the whole of its toxic since every fandom has some toxic members, some even more so. 

I just sometimes find myself enjoying MHA AUs like the Fullmetal Alchemist, Danny Phantom, Evil!Deuk AU and several others. 

to make it clear I don't see this AU taking place the same time as the main plot of the actual Anime/Manga. This could be either like 6-10 years before or after the plot idk bro. But i’ll do this after the main story plot of MHA, so keep that in mind ya? another thing, the gang is still in China, the top hero school in the world just so happens to be in Japan, and it’s only ever mentioned by Sun wukong and other pro heros. So MK never attended AU. in short it’s only ever mention/ reference.  

_

- Mk was considered Quirkless as a kid. 

- he was just a late blumer, i swear  

- Mai’s Quirk is called Dragon. 

- it pretty much works the same way as it does in the show(duh)

- Tang’s got a knowledge Quirk, 

- my man can retain information and he’s basically an archive of information drawback being his personality lol 

- Piggsy is a Animal that gained a Quirk

- in cannon to my current knowledge, there are two other characters that can confirm animals can become sentient. the characters being Fumikage Tokoyami, & Nezu the principal at the school UA.  

- Sandy is just Conner Kent, aka he like superman but can't fly, or shoot lasers from his eyes. And blue.  

I have two scenarios for Macaque and Wukong  

*- The first one is that, Sun Wukong & Macaque are brothers. twins to be exact. 

- they where legit people, but have mutation quirks that made them too like monkeys. 

- the added powers were just a boues. 

- Sun and Mac are close growing up, like there brothers but also best friends.

- the draw back to there quirks could honestly be whatever you want bro idk, same with the others tbh. Personally I like to think Sun just has lack of motivation, and Macaque needs to draw on other people's energy.

- Sun is a hero, Monkey KIng and Mac is a villain Six Eared.

- Sun was always treated has the golden child in the family, Mac always resented that, but there shitty up bring didn’t stop the two from being good brothers to one another.

- soon tho the resentment became hatred when Sun was able to attend UA in Japan, while Mac didn't.

- Mac be angy 

- so he became a villain, and joined the Chinese branch of the LOV(league of villains)

- Sun doesn't know this till he finds out during the all out war during the main story. and by that time he’s a full on hero with is own agency(The Flower Fruit agency)    

- when the hero's ultimately win and Mac is arrested 

- This ultimately hurts Sun a lot, his brother was in jail now, arrested for his involvement and wrong doings, he knew nothing about this! this brother, his blood. A bad guy? why? he hadn't seen his brother since he left for UA, he hadn’t seen him when he came home, and started his agency. 

- this just puts Sun into a funk so he’s not as active as he used to be, and he starts thinking he might need a successor 

*- The second one is that they were two separate people that had similar quirks and both attended UA but Sun ended up in the hero corse. so 1A.

- Both Macaque and Sun have similar quirks, Sun’s is obviously more light based while Macaque’s is more shadow based(this applies to the first one as well)    

- Macaque was placed in class 1B, U.A.’s High's Heroics Department, I believe, you can correct me. 

- In cannon Class 1A and 1B both went to the training camp. I can see the teachers pinning Sun and Macaque against each other to hone their skills. 

- And because of that they become great friends    

- In fact when they graduate they both co-found there hero agency together in China and are a duo.

- But due to Monkey King’s popularity and Six Eared's association with shadows(people sometimes saying he has more of a villains quirk than a heros) the public see’s Macaque as Sun’s sidekick when thats far from the truth. 

- now it’s up to you whether you think that Wukong and Macaque would be in a relationship together, but knowing how cooked we all are, ShadowPeach is a thing here more than likely. 

- If you do or don’t support/ like the ShadowPeach aspect, the two would be living together regardless since its more cost efficient. 

- They my be heroes but living costs are expensive!   

- I would imagine there would have been a huge fight/argument between the two in privet of course, at there home.(or in there shared office if you want the extra angst of the other people they work with hearing them fight)   

- If the two are dating, then this would either lead to an out right breakup, or Macaque just up and leaving with Wukong thinking he’ll come back once he’s cooled off. But after a week, with no sign of his partner, or him answering texts or calls, not even coming into work. Wukong gets worried that something might have happened to him. so there wouldn't be a confirmation if they were still a thing or not. 

- But Wukong remains hopeful, despite the nagging at the back of his head, and gut telling him to go find Macaque, or atleast make a public statement, or even just tell another pro hero about it.   

- on the not so shippy side, Macaque and Wukong still have there argument, and much like the ShadowPeach esc side, Macaque up and leaves, and isn't seen for weeks. the only difference here is that when Wukong comes home one night to there flat, most if not all of Macaques stuff is gone. 

- where as if this was the ShadowPeach side, Macaque leaves all of his possession in the flat he and wukong share. for the simple reason being, he still loves him and wants to go back, but Macaque being Macaque can’t bring himself to do it, especially after seeing just how hurt Wukong looked when he yelled at him just before he left.  

- in other words, ANGST DIALED UP TO A 10 BABY�� 

- in either case, its a news report that confirms Wukong's suspicions that he desperately didn’t want to believe, and that is Macaque turning into a villain.

- much like if the two were brothers, Wukong just can’t take it and is no longer as active as he once was, and is thinking about, either A) Retirement  B) Saying, “Fuck Society, Be Gay Do Crime” and join Macaque as a villain himself, or C) find a successor, and a way to bring Macaque back to there side, but most importantly, back to him.    

- also extra points if you're after people's hearts and want to make them suffer;  - If there dating, Wukong curle’s up in the bed he and Macaque shared, holding/wearing something of great value to Macaque and just crying himself to sleep, where as Macaque is getting wasted on alcohol, as he stumbles out of the bar he’s in, he either see’s something that reminds him of Wukong or while he’s trying to put his wallet back into his pocket, a photo of them on their first date fall’s out. and Macaque just cries in a nearby alley way. And it’s there where he gets indoctrinated into the League.

       - If there just friends, macaque heads to the nearest forest and just levels it, where as Wukong just gets engrossed into his work, trying not to think about it. you could add you own spin on this, again i'm just spitballing.             

- NOW BACK TO MK! :D     

- Obviously MK is a huge Monkey King fan     

- at Twenty MK has come to terms he's quirkless (HE’S NOT)

-for ANGST reasons MKs fokes kicked him out at this realization at 13.

- he works at Piggsy's Noodle shop, and has been since he was 14.

- don't need a quirk to drive or cook!

- the boy lives a content life with his new family, till DBK happens :D

- DBK runs a Mafia(in conjunction with TLOV) and has been in jail for like 5 years thanks to Monkey King, PIF and RS brake him out one night when MK's out making a late night delivery since Piggsy had the bright idea to go 24/7 service!

- one thing leads to another and Mk somehow manifest what looks like the Monkey King's staff, but its not, it’s MKs powers, it just so happens to be the same power the Monkey King has. And it practically goes down the same way in the pilot. 

- but unlike the pilot Mk and Mei go straight to the FF Agency, after making a panicked call to Pigsy and Tang.

- one way or another Mk are lead into Wukongs office. Mei being forced to stay in the lobby.

- they have there convo, butterfly monkey squishing included.

- "And so, I want you do be my success-" BOOM 💥

- from there they rush downstairs and see that the lobby has been infiltrated by the DB fam, and you know fight.

- once the DB family seems like there down, PIF wisks them away. Much to Monkey King’s displeasure.

From there stuff kind plays out like cannon, the calabash ep is just a conjoint quirk the Demon bros have. As for EP9, ill have to script that one out myself lol. I'll get onto it as soon as my will to commit stabs me in the face. Till then have a dancing Kermit the frog.

Now if you'll excuse me, am about to Kermit a felony :D

(For legal reasons thats a joke)

Psst @writingamongther0ses its done

[nightwingmyboi]

Pt 1) I'm ngl, if this Ric Grayson arc ends with Dick finally going off on the rest of the batfam for only showing him affection when they need something, it will almost be worth it. You mentioned in the meta about his relationship with the batfam that to recover from the gunshot he cut every one off (ngl, I stopped reading as soon as his memories were wiped), and I think that means now is the perfect time (or when his memories finally return fully next issue) for him to blow up

Pt 2) I want him to go off on Bruce for never seeming satisfied with what he does. I want him to go off on Tim for running away when everything was going to shit while Bruce was stuck in time (there's evidence that he remembers pre reboot stuff with that one panel that has torque and tarantula and him proposing to Babs so I'm going to say that's all still canon). I want him to lose his shit with Babs for constantly being mad at him when he's trying so hard (I love Babs, but this is annoying)

Pt 3) when he gets his memories back I want him to finally blow up. Like??? His life has been in a constant state of falling apart since he became Nightwing (hell, even before that), but he still always put others first. And now Roy is dead, Donna is evil, Wally is who knows where after killing Roy, Jason and Bruce are back on the outs, etc, etc and people were saying they need him back to fix things when he's recovering from being shot in the head. If they let him point this out, the Ric arc

Pt 4) will have been validated in my eyes. Still fucking terrible writing wise, execution (I was excited for Talon! Dick but christ what I read of it was bad), one of the worst decisions they've made recently, and they've made a bunch of bad ones, but it will be validated in its existence to me.

Yeah, Dick takes a lot of crap from the members of his family; a lot of the things you listed are things that I am very much not a fan of, lmao. And I’d even add that, with the Ric stuff you mention, it wasn’t even that Dick “cut everyone off” so that he could recover; I should have made this clearer--Bruce and the rest of the family should take a lot of the blame for pushing Dick away. See, initially, Dick was open to the idea of getting to know his family. He visited the manor and then Bruce, impatient with the lack of progress Dick was making on regaining his memories, decided to take Dick down to the Batcave, show him the Nightwing suit (that still had the freaking blood from the gunshot wound on it Jesus Christ), and traumatize Dick with the video of him getting shot in the head in order to stir up some memories. Alfred and Damian help Bruce do this:

Nightwing: Rebirth Annual #2

And Dick is obviously horrified. After this, why in the world would Dick want to be Nightwing? Why would he want to associate with his “family”? Staying away from the manor wasn’t Dick cutting out people in his life who cared for him and were trying to help him; it was about, in Dick’s mind, staying away from people who were willing to hurt him, people who cared more about his utility and how they needed him to be Nightwing then they cared about his safety and wellbeing. It was a desperate move to protect himself from people he could no longer trust. It is clear that implanted false memories and other brainwashing was done from the very beginning (by the doctor Bruce specifically hired no less) in order to ensure that “Ric” would not be comfortable with Bruce and would be inclined to leave, but it was Bruce’s actions that had Dick running literally right into his brainwasher’s arms: 

It’s also not even like afterwards Dick hid himself in some unknown location, completely out of contact. Barbara easily tracked Dick down to talk. And yet, when Barbara talks to him, she doesn’t ask Dick if he’s alright. She just tells him that they want him to regain his memories (umm...yeah you’ve made that clear), comments that he’s not acting like himself, and tells him to come back to the manor. So...it’s all about what the family wants. Dick says no, and there are zero attempts at a compromise. Maybe the family could have used the millions of dollars at its disposal to set Dick up elsewhere outside the manor so he doesn’t have to, uh, live in a cab? Maybe they could agree to occasional check-ins instead of the overbearing babysitting they were suggesting, that Dick is uncomfortable with? Maybe they could ask Dick what he wants? But, no. As soon as Dick doesn’t do exactly what they want him to, he’s on his own. People talk about how this arc is making Dick look bad, but beyond that, really it's making all of the family look like uncaring, selfish assholes. 

That aside, about how I want this arc to conclude...it would be nice, as readers, to see Dick finally put his foot down and stand up for himself a little. But honestly? Him going off on everyone like you describe? I feel like that would be out of character. I could maybe see Dick telling off Batman, but I can’t even imagine Dick truly blowing up at Damian or Tim, or really even Barbara. People really over exaggerate Dick’s temper a lot; in reality, it usually takes very extreme circumstances, and often an insane amount of stress and/or brainwashing to make Dick lash out. Bruce is one of the few people that can make Dick lose his temper, so maybe. But I also think that when Dick is truly upset and emotionally compromised, his first move is to go somewhere to be alone. He doesn’t tend to lash out; he tends to retreat and isolate himself if he’s able. You’ll often see him hole himself in his apartment when everything becomes too much. Two good examples of this are in Joker’s Last Laugh and in the Outsiders. After Dick kills the Joker, he immediately retreats to his apartment to be alone, and likewise after Donna dies, he spends months isolated from his friends in Bludhaven: 

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files

And not only all that, but I really don’t think Dick yelling at everyone would be cathartic for him. If he did something like that, he’d feel terrible and guilty about it. He’d apologize. And I really don’t want him to have to apologize for anything in the aftermath of all this horrible stuff he’s been through. I don’t want any of the responsibility for making things right to be put on his shoulders. Though he’ll probably feel the need to try to fix things anyway, I’d actually prefer him to just...stay away from the family. Not avoid them, but let them be the ones to reach out to him for a change. Especially recently, Dick has had to do all the emotional work in his relationships; it would be so gratifying to have his friends and family put the work in on their own and be the ones to initiate so Dick doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting. 

And hey, I’d love even more for one of the numerous friends he used to have to step in and stand up for him instead, so he doesn’t have to. If the rest of the Titans were not currently being put through depressing arcs themselves (or being dead, RIP Roy), I think they definitely would’ve knocked some heads together. I think the only possible solution...is Uncle Clark coming to the rescue! Surely if Superman knew what was going on, he’d come down to the cave and give a good old fashioned tongue lashing to Batman for his pseudo-nephew’s sake! I’m not caught up with the Superman comics so idk what he’s up to rn, but please tell me this can happen and if not let me dream.

Thanks for the ask! I feel your pain, was pretty disappointed with Talon Dick. I really want to just reach into the comics and wrap Dick up in a blanket or something, give him rest!

[princess-of-riviaa]

Needy

Pairing: Mikey (Hellraiser: Hellworld) x Reader

Summary: Mikey is in a mood tonight, so you give him exactly what he wants.

Author’s Note: So... idk what happened. I’ve never seen Hellraiser: Hellworld. Never written for Mike. But suddenly I had six pages of Mikey smut??

Warning(s): sub! Mikey, dom! reader, teasing in public, punishment, temp play, bondage, overstimulation, fluff at the end:)

Word Count: 2,464

Mike is playing with fire.

You’ve been sitting on his lap for the better part of an hour, enjoying the childish game of truth or dare amongst all your friends. It’s an interesting game when you’re the only one not wasted or stoned. You’re the only one who can appreciate everyone’s daring candor and the only one with control over your own tongue.

You once hated parties like this. But then you and Mike started going out and he practically begged you to hang out at the frat houses every Friday and Saturday night. You only agreed to go because… well, because he’s completely mastered that puppy-dog look and how can you say no to that? And because he’s always promised to make it up to you after--whether that be with his fingers, tongue, or cock--and he keeps true to his promises.

Mike’s only had two beers--you don’t like it when he drinks more than that--so you and him are the only two of sound minds out of the group in the living room. Which means no one probably notices the way Mike’s been flexing his thighs underneath you every now and then, knowing exactly the effect it’s having on you. But even then, even if no one were around right now, he’s not allowed to tease unless you’ve given him permission. You’ve already had to whisper that reminder in his ear a few times. He always goes back to behaving after, but never for more than a few minutes. You can tell he’s antsy, wanting to get you alone and be done with this party.

Mike is a sub, something you learned the second your relationship got physical. Being a switch, you don’t mind. In your other relationships you’ve taken the role of sub, but you have to admit that there’s something intoxicating about having such control over someone’s body and mind. You let him act cool and tough in public. If anyone were to guess, they’d say that Mike was your dom. He talks and touches you with an air of dominance in public, but you both know it’s just for show. Behind closed doors, he’s the one kneeling for you, obeying your every command.

But tonight he’s gone a little overboard. Maybe it’s the two beers that have let him loosen up and do things he knows he’ll get punished for later, or maybe he’s just very needy tonight. Whatever it is, whatever his reasoning, his thigh is still pushing up into your clothed pussy, sending waves of heat through your body.

You finally lean back and look at him. You run your fingers through his hair gently before tugging on the roots--something you know turns him on like nothing else. “You’re on thin ice, baby boy,” you coo in his ear.

He swallows. Your words go straight to his cock. Not only do you feel his growing erection begin to press into your ass, but you can feel the heat rolling off his body. Your puppy’s already so wound up for you.

“Be good and I’ll give you what you want,” you promise.

He pouts as he gives those irresistible puppy-dog eyes, but you just ignore him and turn your attention back to your friends. One of the guys was just dared to strip down to his underwear, but he’s too intoxicated to control his body and the guys next to him have to help him undress amidst drunken laughter and howls.

Mike parts your hair to expose your neck and he begins to plant soft kisses there. Part of you wants to fall back into the touch and let him kiss every inch of you, but you also know that that’s not what he wants. He’s been acting up since you got to this party. It’s clearly a punishment he wants.

You ignore him for another round, watching as one of the girls is dared to chug an entire can of Budlight despite already being wasted.

“Please,” Mike whines in your ear. If he’s desperate enough to start begging already, you know his want has already turned into need.

You check your phone. It’s already eleven o’clock. The two of you have killed time at this party for a good three hours now, so it wouldn’t be rude if you left. And you doubt anyone is in their right mind to notice yours and Mike’s absence. So you rise to your feet and begin to say your goodbyes. Mike keeps his arms around your waist, your back pressed into his chest, refusing to stop touching you until you get to the car, but you suspect that it’s to hide his partial erection.

Your apartment is twenty minutes away. Luckily, the streets aren’t too busy at this time of night and you manage to make all but one green light. All the while, Mike can’t keep his hands off of you. His fingers trace patterns into your thigh. The skirt you’re wearing is short enough that it covers little more than your underwear. Mike uses this to his advantage. You don’t address or acknowledge his touch; you both know he’s breaking the rules. But you also know that ignoring him will fire him up more than scolding him will.

As soon as your front door is unlocked you tell Mikey, “I want you naked and ready for me when I get to the bedroom.”

He practically sprints to your bedroom. You take your time setting down your keys and taking off your jacket. You grab a cup and fill it with ice, knowing this is one of Mikey’s least favorite punishments. You also grab a scarf from the couch in the living room. Mikey sits on the edge of your bed, completely naked. His cock is already hard. The thick, long length of him curves and rests against his stomach. You take in the sight of his chest and stomach and the dark hairs that swirl around the skin. He’s so fucking hot, and he’s all yours.

Mikey’s eyes jump to the scarf and ice cubes in your hands. “I did what you asked, Mistress. Are you still going to punish me?” If you hadn’t done this as many times as you had, you’d mistake that rise in his voice as fear. But you know him well enough by now to know that it’s lustful hopefulness.

“You and I both know you didn’t do what I asked,” you argue. “You broke some ground rules at the party. I have to punish you for it, Mikey. Now lie back.”

He complies, too nervous now to disobey any further. He rests his head on your pillows and watches as you move to your closet and pull out your box of toys. You eye the whip, examining it. From the corner of your eye you can see Mikey lick his lips with arousal. He loves this whip about as much as he loves you.

“Do you want me to use this on you?” you ask, already knowing the answer. You look over at him. His hands open and close on his thighs. He’s trying so hard to behave. It’s cute. “Do you want me to mark up your legs and back until your skin is red and aching?”

He nods eagerly. “Yes, Mistress. Please--I want it so bad. I’ll be so good for you, I promise.”

“Baby boy, you’re being so good for me, you know that? Doing what I say and using your words.” You tisk. “If only you could have behaved this well at the party. Maybe then I would have rewarded you with the whip. But that’s only for good boys.”

He makes a sound that resembles a whimper as you put the whip back in the box and instead grab some rope. You love this rope, love to use it on him as much as you like to be the one tied up in it. The material is soft and doesn’t irritate the skin as much as others do. It’s also extremely thick and durable. You doubt even Superman could break out of these restraints.

You move over to the bed and Mikey reaches out for you. You shoot him a glare. He knows he’s not supposed to touch you without permission.

“Don’t tie me up,” he pleads. “I wanna touch you, wanna hold you when I’m inside you.”

You give him a devilish smile. “That’s bold of you, assuming I’ll let you fuck me tonight.”

His eyes go wide at the thought of not being inside of you despite how wound up he is right now and all the things you plan on doing to him.

Of course you’re going to let him fuck you tonight. You’re aroused yourself, and you know you won’t sleep well if you don’t cum around his cock tonight. But he doesn’t need to know that just yet.

You tie his left hand up to the knob of your headboard, then do the same with his right. You have a queen-sized bed and his arms are long enough that the stretch isn’t too uncomfortable for him.

“What are you gonna do to me, Mistress?” he wonders.

You lean over him and wrap your scarf around his eyes, blinding him. “I could tell you, but what would be the fun in that?”

He huffs in complaint but doesn’t say anything further--until he hears you step out of your clothes. “Why’d you wait until I can’t see you to undress?”

You both know the answer to this: he loves your body too much. And though you love how fond he is of your physical appearance, you’re not giving him what he wants tonight.

Once you’re completely naked, you crawl over him and grab an ice cube from the bedside table. You hold it between your lips and ignore the stinging cold of it as you begin to slide it up the inside of Mikey’s thighs. He squirms so beautifully under the frigid temperature. You reach his hip before moving onto his other leg and repeating the same actions. By the time you get to his right hip, the ice has melted. You reach for another one and place it between your mouth before rubbing it around his nipples, watching in dark satisfaction as they harden. Mikey tugs against the ropes despite knowing it will get him nowhere. He lets out the only hiss and whimper, but you know his masochistic side is loving this. By the time the second ice cube has melted in your mouth, Mikey’s hard and aching, the tip of his cock red and leaking pre-cum. You grab a third ice cube and slowly run it up the underside of his cock. His whimpers increase in volume as his body begins to spasm with simultaneous pain and increasing pleasure.

“P-please.” He doesn’t seem to know what he’s begging for, only that he needs more than what you’re giving him.

“Be patient, baby,” you tell him before running the ice back down the side of his cock and sending his body through another shock of pleasurable pain. You do this until the ice has fully melted in your mouth, and then you take as much of his cock as you can fit in your mouth. His cock twitches at the sudden change in temperature. Mike lets out a grunt. You can tell he’s close, so you twirl your tongue around him just once before pulling away.

“Mistress!” he cries out, desperate to feel your mouth around him again.

But you don’t give him your mouth. Instead, you move to straddle his hips. You’re already wet from your tortuous assault on your boyfriend’s body, so your pussy slides down his cock with ease. Both of you let out sighs of pleasure.

“You feel so good,” Mikey whimpers. He knows his dirty words make you want to reward him. Even now, in the midst of his punishment, he’s trying to trick you into going easy on him.

“I know I do,” you taunt as you begin to move your hips in slow circles. His cock fills you up so well and you moan as he brushes against your g-spot. “You’re so big, baby boy, you make me feel so small.”

He grinds his hips up, trying to control the pace.

You freeze against him. “Do that again and I’ll stop. I swear I’ll leave you just like this for the rest of the night.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress,” he rushes out, hating the sound of that.

You begin to move your hips again. You’re mindful about increasing your pleasure while leaving him just on the brink of release. The way his body shakes and writhes beneath you makes heat spread throughout your body. Your mind is numb with power and arousal.

“You don’t get to cum until I say you can,” you order before increasing the speed of your hips.

Mikey tugs against the rope, growing wilder as you continue to ride him. You can feel his cock twitch inside of you. He’s close, not able to push his orgasm off for much longer. Your walls begin to clench around him and he cries out. Tears fall down his cheeks at the overstimulation.

“I want you to cum in me,” you gasp out as you bounce even faster on his cock. “Cum when I do, Mikey. Oh--oh, fuck!”

Your body begins to shake uncontrollably, your hips moving at an inhuman pace as you chase down your high. Mikey’s cock spasms seconds before he cums inside of you. The feeling of his warm seed coating your walls brings you into a frenzy. You can’t think or see straight as you cum on top of him and milk his cock for several seconds.

Even after you both can open your eyes and think straight again, you stay on top of him with his cock buried inside of you. You untie the blindfold and smile when you see his blue eyes again. He blinks up at you with a sleepy but satisfied smile on his face. You lean down to press soft pecks across his chest.

“God, I fucking love you,” he breathes out.

You freeze and look up at him. “You--what?”

His eyes go wide when he realizes what he said. “I, um…”

“Did you just say you love me?” You’re in disbelief; you had no idea how badly you’d wanted to hear him say that to you until the words were ringing in your ears.

He gives you a sheepish look. “Is that okay?”

You bring your mouth to his and kiss him deeply, passionately, until you can’t breathe because your chest is so warm with everything you’re feeling. “That’s more than okay, Mikey. I love you too.”

He grins before pulling you in for another kiss.

***

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[bigskydreaming]

remember when devin grayson wrote about green arrow flirting with teenager dick grayson and then bruce and dick have an incestuous relationship............................

Listen, I have no idea what this ask says, I just see a string of random letters followed by dot dot dot. 

In completely unrelated matters, the only dynamic between Dick and Ollie I abide by is one where the nicest thing Dick’s ever said to Ollie is something like “hey why does your face look like you killed a squirrel and glued it to your chin, is that what you were going for or do people just not like you and so nobody ever told you til now that that’s what it looks like.”

And even there, that’s still just the best Dick could manage (or was willing to even aim for) after Bruce gave Dick a totally and one hundred percent genuine and sincere Talking To about how he needed to be more polite to Ollie. Cuz the way I envision it, all that’s after Dick initially opened with something like, idk, “hey wanna hear a funny joke, it goes “what do you call a known Errol Flynn fanboy who thinks putting on a domino mask when he fights crime with a bow and arrow like, magically makes his goatee invisible? A dumbass who doesn’t get how secret identities work, that’s what. Get it, its you, you’re the joke.”

LOL for the record, I don’t actually hate Ollie and have no really strong opinions on him one way or another, it usually just depends on how he’s being written in whatever story or issue I’m reading with him. Its just canon that Ollie is like, one of the few people that Dick just openly can not stand, pretty much, with this stretching back far enough that personally, I like to headcanon it goes all the way back to even before Ollie took Roy in and has absolutely nothing to do with Roy whatsoever.

Idk, its just really fucking funny to me to picture that like, for whatever reason, ten year old Dick Grayson decided upon meeting the Justice League that they were all awesome except for Oliver Queen. Dick doesn’t know why, he doesn’t care why, he just knows that like, “I do not care for that Oliver Queen guy, not one bit, and no, I am not open to constructive criticism on this matter, UGH BRUCE STOP TELLING ME I SHOULD AT LEAST TRY AND BE NICER TO HIM, I SAID HE WAS A BUTTFACE AND I MEANT IT, WHERE’S THE CONFUSION.”

Because see, while Ollie is not Actually The Worst, he IS one of the League heroes who is prideful and petty enough to like, absolutely take offense to someone hating his guts for no discernible reason, while considering this more than reason enough to hate their guts right back. Even if that particular someone happens to have both miles and years left to go before they hit either puberty or the top side of five feet tall, and thus in the meanwhile, Ollie must literally lower himself in every sense of the word in order to return fire at his pint-sized and prepubescent critic.

Like, if Dick for whatever reason decided he just doesn’t like Superman or the Flash and he’s not gonna and you can’t make him, then I mean, Clark or Barry or someone else along those lines would just be like, oh, okay, that’s fair I guess. No, its totally fine Bruce, the adorable little human incarnation of glitter, cotton candy and all things Cute and Precious and Wee that you just took in is allowed to hate me if he wants to, its absolutely *wheezing sob* not a big deal. I’m a big boy, I don’t need you to intercede on my behalf with him. Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be wallowing in my room for the next 84 years, trying to figure out if I was some kind of monstrous puppy-kicker in a previous lifetime and that’s why my fate here in this one is to be despised by a ten year old with the superpower of Absolute Preciousness. Its my punishment, clearly, for being just the worst kind of monster to ever exist, the only kind that could actually be hated by someone like your adorable little Fun-Sized sidekick of joy and sunshine and l-l-laughter......no, don’t look at me, I’m hideous! *bursts into tears and scurries away to hide from the light*

But see now, Ollie, on the other hand, like.....he’s not a monster but he’s not about to let even some paragon of preciousness go around painting him as one. Why the fuck does he spend so much money on publicists if he’s just gonna roll over belly-side up the first time one of the people bad-mouthing him just happens to be like, a toddler instead of the usual TMZ?

So Ollie’s not about to admit that he’s actually miffed and even a little bit wounded that this cherub who seems to like even most supervillains more than he likes Ollie, just like, can not seem to be in his presence longer than sixty seconds before drawing his weapons and stabbing Ollie with words that hurt, dammit, because he has feelings too, y’know, he spent a lot of money on pricey therapists figuring out that yes, those are feelings he’s feeling and he can even name some of them.....

Like, he’s not quite on board with actually ACKNOWLEDGING that hey this stings, and that he really just wants to know what the hell this kid’s deal is and why don’t you like me, tiny human, what did I ever even do to you??? But all of that is like......Advanced Level Therapy stuff that he hasn’t quite gotten around to finishing yet at this point in time. Like yeah he’s already dropped a mint on the A-list of the head-shrinking world by now, but apparently he was supposed to keep coming back or something like that, they all keep making a really big deal about that for some reason, and look, he’s been busy. So he really just hasn’t had the time to finish up the course on How To Make Peace With the Fact That Sometimes Tiny Humans Don’t Like Me Even Though I’m A Fucking Delight, Dammit.

But even if the why of this kid getting under his skin so much eludes him for the nonce, Ollie is perfectly clear on one thing: he doesn’t typically go around making enemies of the twelve and under set, but if you prick him, he doth in fact bleed, you little prick. So if this knee-high nightmare is gonna keep coming at me and trying to start shit, then I am more than willing to throw down, is basically Ollie’s take here. 

“He wants to dance? Then c’mon, let’s do this thing. We can dance if he wants to. I’ve got the time,” Ollie says to himself and any other nearby Justice Leaguer who might be looking at him with that swiftly-becoming-familiar expression of mingled judgment, pity, exasperation and something a bit more ambiguous but which probably lands somewhere in the ballpark of “We honestly don’t know what to make of all of this but we’re all a little concerned This Is Not A Good Look, Bro. And also, we would like to formally request by way of this petition with all 200+ signatures of Leaguers and auxiliary members and support staff: please don’t escalate this into something where Batman might actually kill you, because that’s definitely not gonna make any of this less awkward for the rest of us, and uh....not to be indelicate here, but all those times we’ve all said things like no Ollie, we don’t think Bruce is a better fighter than you and we absolutely agree with you, you could totally maybe take him in a fair fight if you had your bow and arrows on you and he had the flu probably.....like. Umm. How to put this....Okay, soooooo....here’s the thing. There may, perhaps, ever so slightly be a possibility slash definite hardcore certainty that there were fib-like qualities to those conversations. A little bit. Oh hey, look at the time, we gotta run, there’s a fire somewhere, hopefully. Lol wait whoops did we say hopefully, that’s so weird like where did that even come from. We definitely meant to say probably. There’s a fire somewhere, probably."

But look, at the end of the day, the thing is, Headcanon Ollie is not like, proud of any of this, but he’s not unproud of it either. He is hashtag justified and he wouold appreciate some validation of that Ugly Truth, even if it might go against the grain and not ever exactly be a POPULAR opinion with the “please don’t tell the ten year old that nuh uh, his face looks like a hairy butthole, nobody wins there, that is not the victory you are looking for” crowd.

Honestly though, at this point Ollie’s list of Big Asks is quite small. Miniscule, even. All he wants, all he really really wants, is for someone, anyone, to join him in grasping the one essential corn kernel at the heart of this whole clusterfuck. The thing that nobody but Ollie seems to get and that Ollie’s pretty sure would be enough to allow him to die happily, if he could just manage to find one other person to sign on to the one single extremely obvious observation he keeps trying to point out to everyone, with a whole lot of nada to show for it:

Because see, the one thing about all of this that drives Ollie just absolutely up a wall, is that for some reason he can’t seem to get anyone to understand that like.....this whoooooole ridiculous mess, just like, even in terms of its very existence in the first place?

None of it is Ollie’s fault.

Dick started it!

Mere moments after frustratedly trying to convey this to Dinah for the umpteenth million bajillionth time:

“Okay, could you at least say something?” Ollie asked exasperatedly. “Anything? Seriously, I would take you counting to ten in Cantonese as an acceptable response at this point.”

“I’m just trying to decide which concerns me more,” Dinah said at last. Several epochs and the equivalent of the entire Jurassic Period later. But whatever, its not like Ollie was holding his breath at this point or anything. “The fact that you are genuinely trying to find and occupy the moral high ground in your feud with....a ten year old. Or that you actually think you’ve found it. That this is it, this is what that looks like. ‘The ten year old started it.’”

That was apparently all Dinah had to say. She fell silent again, and said silence lingered through a recreation of now the entire Cretaceous Period, before continuing into a revival of the whole Paleozoic Era from start to torturous finish.

“Well?” Ollie said with a patience that belied the urgency of the many pressing matters he had to attend to. Like the vanquishing of a ten year old archnemesis most foul.

Dinah just continued to frown pensively.

“Hang on, I’m still deciding.”

[sarcastically-defensive17]

New Man - T. Holland

@starshonerose and I love Tom Holland a bunch and this kinda just exploded into my brain when I was listening to King Ed Sheeran.

Hope y’all like this! I was happy about it when I finished it but idk how y’all will feel!

Original story by Sarcastically-defensive17

Send in a request if you want! (And if you don’t mind waiting while I drown in uni work)

Anthony was... something. He was a careless boyfriend, a liar, a cheater, and just an all round twat.

Tom couldn’t help the anger he felt every time he saw his overworked, muscular arm wrapped around Y/N’s waist.

I heard he spent five hundred pounds on jeans, goes to the gym at least six times a week.

Sure, Tom worked out. A lot. He was Spider-Man, he had a physique to uphold, but Anthony was something else.

Letting Y/N go was one of the worst decisions he had made. They didn’t part on bad terms, they simply didn’t have time for each other and decided it was best to break up.

Now, he can’t help but wish he was Anthony, and wish he didn’t have to hear about her new man.

Wears both shoes with no socks on his feet and I hear he's on a new diet at watches what he eats. He's got his eyebrows plucked and his asshole bleached; owns every single Ministry CD.

The man was the definition of a douche bag, and Tom knew his only chance was to remind Y/N of the woman she was before Anthony worked his way into her life.

The type of woman that she would pride herself on being.

Tribal tattoos and he don't know what it means but I heard he makes you happy, so that's fine by me.

Being Harrison’s little sister, she was around a lot. And so was Anthony. He couldn’t deny how obviously happy he made her, and that in turn made him happy.

Sure, he was determined to get through to the woman, but if she told him to back off then he would listen to her.

Still lookin' at your Instagram and I'll be creepin' a lil'. I'll be tryin' not to double tap, from way back ‘cause I know that's where the trouble's at.

“If you are looking through my sisters Instagram again, mate, I may have to smack you,” He heard Harrison’s voice ring through their shared house.

Somehow his best friend always knew that he was creeping on the old memories they shared.

“Can’t help it,” tom mumbled. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but notice how much happier she looked when she was his. Before she found Anthony.

He can’t help but think she is faking her happiness.

Let me remind you of the days when you used to hold my hand, and when we sipped champagne out of cider cans. I guess if you were Louis Lane, I wasn't Superman just a young boy tryin' to be loved so let me give it to ya.

His heart basically stopped one night when a notification chimes on his phone. A DM from Y/N’s Instagram account. His heart raced, trying to figure out if he accidentally liked a picture from long ago.

The message was simple: You busy? I can’t stop thinking about you.

She tried to convince him to spend the night with her, and he was considering it, until he remembered that she was with Anthony. He hated the man, but he knew it wasn’t right.

This isn’t the type of person Y/N is. How unhappy is she?

I don't wanna know about your new man 'cause if it was meant to be you wouldn't be callin' me up tryin' to... 'Cause I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me.

A few days after, Harrison spent the day with his sister, consoling her after an intense argument with her significant other.

Tom didn’t know what it was about, but he was ready to pull his brown hair out in frustration when the following day the two were all over Instagram professing their love for one another.

Yet, Tom still receives messages from her, reminiscing on their relationship and subtly flirting. He couldn’t help but let his feelings flow through his fingertips and engage in the flirtatious comments.

I don't wanna know about your new man; We'll get there eventually. I know you're missin' all this kind of love but I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me.

She was so different. He noticed how unhappy she was deep down. She hid it well. How she would spend hours forcing herself to slim down. She changed her diet, he noticed that she was selling the near hundreds of books that she had read countless of times.

It was like she became a new woman for Anthony.

He had just hoped she made the changes for herself.

You were the type of girl who sat beside the water readin', eatin' a packet of crisps, but you will never find you cheatin'. Now you're eatin' kale, hittin' the gym keepin' up with Kylie and Kim.

He took the plunge and knocked on her door one afternoon. He was met with her, wearing athletic wear and a frown deeply set on her lips that he had always admired.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He practically barged his way in. “Anthony here?”

She shook her head, following him as he took a seat on the lounge.

“He’s out with some work mates.”

He gazed around the house. It was as if Y/N didn’t live there. The comfortable quirkiness that used to inhabit every room she occupied was fading, and he hated it.

“What’s going on?” He repeated his question, eyeing her carefully as she dropped her gaze to her feet.

“Nothing? What do you mean?” Her voice was soft, and her posture radiated discomfort.

He wanted nothing more than to pull her to him and hold her like he would before.

He should never have let her go.

“What happened to my Y/N?” He was sad. He was angry. He was frustrated. He was worried.

“I’m not your Y/N, Tom. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Why’re you selling your books?”

“Don’t need ‘em.”

“Why?”

She huffed through her nose, “what is your point, Tom? I have stuff to do.”

“My point, darling, is that you are a completely different person,” he stood, placing his hands on her shoulders softly. “What is going on?”

She refused to meet his eyes, instead stalking off to the kitchen where he noticed a distinct lack of real food.

Y/N was the type of girl who loved to indulge in a greasy burger or chips from the local fish and chip shop. Now, all Tom could find was protein shakes, weight loss supplements, kale. His face contorted in confusion.

She noticed Tom eyeing the open pantry, and the grocery bags full of vegetables.

“Anthony convinced me to try this new diet. Said it wouldn’t hurt to lose a few kilos,” her voice was quiet, fearing the reaction from the brown eyed man.

“He told you to lose weight?”

She nodded softly, eyes downcast.

“You’re joking.”

“Nope.”

“If Harrison knew about this-“

“Harrison won’t know about anything tom!” She snapped, her eyes meeting his. He practically melts at the view, despite the fierce look on her face. “There is nothing for him to know because nothing is wrong.”

He pulled his brows together, frowning at the woman who he knew deserved so much better.

“Y/N, he is trying to change you! You are already so different to the person I know you are and it’s scaring me. You aren’t the type of girl to waste her time trying diets and dressing up just to post a photo to Instagram. You are the type of woman that is who she is. You’re the woman that prefers to be comfortable and happy rather than lose a few kilos and put your health at risk.” He had moved a lot closer to her now. His hands were on her face, wiping a tear away that she didn’t realize had fallen. “You’re the woman I am in love with.”

That struck a nerve inside of Y/N. She wasn’t angry, nor was she upset. She was simply confused.

She had tried for so long to move on from Tom, as they both decided they needed to focus on their own lives, especially with Tom traveling here and there to film.

She found Anthony when she was at her lowest and she can’t bear to lose another man that she had in her life. She couldn’t tell herself that she loved Anthony. She knew her heart still belonged to Tom, but she was determined to try to move on.

But Tom’s words through a metaphorical spanner in the works.

Okay, you need to be alone

And if you wanna talk about it, you can call my phone

“I-,” her voice was shaky, her mind racing to think of what to say. All she knew was that his hands on her face was conflicting her thoughts. She shrugged him off, “I need you to go. I need to be alone, Tom. Please.”

He nodded silently, moving towards the door before pausing.

“If you need me, give me a ring, Y/N. I mean it. You deserve better than him.”

I just thought I would tell you, 'cause you oughta know. You're still a young girl tryin' to be loved, so let me give it to ya.

The late nights messages stopped for a few days, until one night a simple message read: “Am I really that different now?”

His heart broke as he apologised to her. He didn’t mean to upset her that badly, he simply wanted her to acknowledge that Anthony was changing her so much. The man grew more controlling as the days went on; even limiting her from visiting her brother because of Tom and his brothers being around.

Everybody was quickly getting fed up.

Baby, I'm not tryin' to ruin your week, but you act so differently, when you're with him, I know you're lonely.

The messages ended in a phone call, Y/N’s sob filled voice flowing through the receiver and Tom whispering sweet nothings and reassurances through the device.

“Darling, you don’t need to stay with him,” he told her. He kept his voice low as to not alert Harrison to their call.

If he found out his sister was in such a tough spot with her controlling boyfriend, he sure as hell wouldn’t let it go on without his fist connecting with Anthony’s face.

“I don’t know, Tom. He loves me,” she replied, her voice as turning up in a question at her last word.

He simply sighed, “If you decide you want to leave him, you know where to go.”

He told her the same thing every time he ended a phone call.

Please remember you're still free to make the choice and leave. Don't call me up, you need to show me.

Almost a week later, a soft knock reverberated through the wooden door, and Tom opened it to revel Y/N in one of her oversized shirts and skinny jean combos that he adored so much.

She smiled wider than he had seen in the entire time she had been with Anthony.

“I broke up with him. He didn’t want me to see you anymore because he saw our messages. I couldn’t lose you again,” her voice was soft, the way it normally is. “You up for a burger?”

Tom’s beaming smile matched hers and pulled her into a bear hug.

His Y/N was back.

I don't wanna know about your new man

[jupitermelichios]

So I decided to rewatch Suicide Squad and I have some thoughts...

This isn’t really a review so much as it’s just a series of thoughts and impressions. I will say that while it’s still one of the worst made films I’ve ever seen, it’s never boring, which is by far the biggest sin a film can commit. It’s bullshit but it’s consistently interesting bullshit which makes it better than something like Fant4stic, which is as bad and incoherant but also just incredibly dull. I don’t think this could ever have been a good film, there was too much massively wrong with it before shooting even started to have been salvagable, but I do think it could have been a lot more coherant if it hadn’t been for the reshoots, re-edits, re-edits of re-edits and all the the other stuff that happened to it post production. Unlike something like BvS, I get why some people liked this one.

On that note, while I am going to end on a few possitives this basically a roast so if you don’t want to read about a film getting picked apart, this probably won’t be your jam. But if like me you find critiques of bad movies cathartic, read on. I’m not the first person to do this, but I’ve spotted some stuff I haven’t seen anyone else talk about so hopefully there’ll be something new for you.

All the dialogue is just slightly off in a way that’s hard to pin down, in the way that a lot of comprehensible stuff written by computers and neural networks is just slightly off. It’s got that phishing email or pornbot quality to it. Literally the fourth or fifth line in the film is Griggs saying about the prison rations, “...Everything a growing young man needs like you”, which isn’t nonsense, but is clearly wrong, and a lot of the lines have that quality to them.

In a similar vein, Deadshot’s daughter is written like she’s five or six, but the actress looks about twelve. I actually went and checked how old she was when this released, because I know white people are often wildly bad at judging the ages of black kids and I’m bad at judging ages in general, but no, she was 12 or 13 when this was shot, so why’s she written like a toddler? She doesn’t give a good performance (which is not the actresses fault, Will Smith barely gives a good performance in this and he can do this shit in his sleep, there’s no way a kid could have risen above the terrible script and direction) which makes it even worse, because you’ve got this pre-teen delivering dialogue written for a kindergardener in a way that feel like it’s maybe the first time she’s ever seen the script, and it makes what is otherwise one of the most competant scenes in the movie feel just as off as everything else.

The Joker. A lot of people have written a lot about Leto’s Joker but I want to add two things to the discussion I haven’t seen talked about much before. Firstly, before the electro-shock torture and acid bath, he and Harley have no romance. Like, explicitly, there is no romance, or even cammeraderie there. He’s her patient. She’s his jailer. He didn’t seduce her, he just tortured her until she gave in. That’s literally shown in the film. Even after the torture when she’s now on side he still really doesn’t like her, and not in a Paul Dini BTAS he doesn’t like her but he also wants her around kind of way. He doesn’t want her in his life. He orders her to leave him alone and she fucking stalks him. That’s not even subtext, she is specifically his stalker, because apparently the solution to the relationship being abusive was to retconn Harley into also being a creep as though that somehow solves something.

Secondly, Joker isn’t smart. Not only is he no longer emotionally intelligent (and comics Joker is many terrible things but he’s probably the most emotionally intelligent character in DC, that’s a lot of what makes him so dangerous because it’s how he manipulates people) he’s not intelligent full stop. His great plan for breaking out of Arkham? Some of his goons from the outside literally just shoot their way in to get to him. Even leaving aside the fact that Arkham apparently isn’t set up to deal with that kind of violence in this world despite Batman having been opperating for a decade, that’s not a clever plan, and it’s not Joker’s plan. 'Hope some of my dudes are loyal enough to come get me’ isn’t any kind of escape plan, and nothing we see after that point suggests that this was a moment of weakness. Joker just straight up isn’t very bright in this, which is weird because that’s one of the few genuinely consistent character traits he has. He’s no Riddler, sure, but he’s really smart and that makes him hard to contain.

Ayer made Harley functionally a sex worker in this, and it doesn’t actually matter that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex work or that sex work is real work, because David Ayer definitely thinks there is, and also really really hates women. David Ayer hates women so goddamn much. The only thing Slipknot does in the entire film apart from die is hit a woman just for being a woman.

When Waller arrives at Belle Reve, Croc is doing push ups. And that’s fine, it’s a classic movie shorthand for ‘bored prisoner is also fit and strong’, but the actor isn’t actually doing pushups. He’s got one knee tucked under his body to support his weight, and is clearly actually just sort of bobbing his head. What I suspect happened is that the prosthetics on his arms and chest were too heavy to allow that kind of movement, which would tie up with the stiff way he holds his arms throughout the film, but he’s not even bothering to pretend very hard and it adds to this pervading sense of off-kilter wrongness the film has.

Rick Flagg is supposed to be ‘the best special forces opperative this country has’, but he’s... really bad? He’s no use in any of the fights, he’s incapable of working with a team and has zero interpersonal skills, and when he’s assigned to be a bodyguard, he immediately starts fucking his client which is like, bodyguarding rule 1. He’s really bad at his job. (Which would be fine if the explanation was that he’s a fucking psychopath who’s 100% willing to just murder a civilian in the line of duty, but he’s meant to be Hannibal Smith more than Dirty Harry, and also if he is here because he’s a psychopath, why did Amanda Waller assume June Moon would be into that?!) He even has to be blackmailed into joining the opperation, so he’s incompetent, unprofessional, causes unecessary conflict, and isn’t even loyal to the project, so why him and not, I don’t know, literally any other character?

On the subject of June Moon, she goes (alone) on an archeological dig in a rainforest somewhere, finds a cave full of human remains and ancient artefacts, and literally her first action is to deliberately smash one of the artefacts, presumably just to see what would happen? IDK! We never get any explanation for that, but it’s definitely meant to be deliberate and not accidental when she smashes it! Why are archeologists in movies all so terrible?!

People have joked a lot about the fact that the movie changes the purpose of the squad from ‘plausibly deniable black ops, especially on American soil’, to ‘punching Superman’ but kept Captain Boomerang on the team, but there is actually an explanation given. A really really stupid explanation. Amanda Waller says that he’s there because ‘he faced down a metahuman and survived’, referring to him surviving being arrested. By the Flash. Who is famously non violent, and in fact in the next film in the series specifically says he’s never fought someone. So Boomer is on the team because he didn’t die when Flash picked him up and carried him to a police station, and Amanda Waller thinks that’s some kind of achievement. Like that isn’t the case for literally everyone the Flash has ever caught. And Flash is a street level hero, so that’s a whole lot of muggers and purse snatchers who are apparently capable of fist fighting Superman by Waller’s logic.

(On the same note as the Joker, Waller is also now incredibly stupid, but she’s mostly stupid for plot related reasons, so it sort of gets a pass? It gets more of a pass than the Joker at least, because making him comics-smart wouldn’t have necessatitated changing anything else about the film)

Re: Waller’s stupidity, her whole plan for recruiting El Diablo to the squad is... show him a video of him setting fire to some dudes. That’s it. She doesn’t even speak to him, she literally just holds up the video to the little window in his tank and seems surprised when that by itself isn’t enough.

And then when Flagg is like ‘hey let me try persuading him with actual arguments instead of just a weird video’, Diablo’s response is “You think you’re the first person to ask? I won’t do it. I’m a man not a weapon”, which gives us the amazing insight that in Ayer’s version of the DCU, there are apparently just... other Taskforce Xs running around. Other government agencies recruiting metahuman soldiers. So what exactly was the point of the half an hour or so of footage of her persuading the brass to go along with it? Because apparently they’re fine with this if every agency is doing it!

Tone? What even is tone. Griggs both has an antagonist but banter-y relationship with and brings cookies to the prisoners, but also he tortures them and is implied to be sexually abusing Harley, and like... you can’t have it both ways, Ayer. This is a one or the other situation. They can’t have a fun and jokey relationship with a man who is explicitly torturing and abusing them. Tone. You need to pick a fucking tone!

The decision to add a subplot about Deadshot being involved in a custody battle with his ex-wife was a fascinatingly terrible choice, and honestly tells you a lot about Ayer’s relationship to MRA talking points. Like, we know nothing about Deadshot’s wife except that she raised a cute well adjusted kid, so probably a pretty good parent, and that she doesn’t want her daughter to be spending time with a MASS MURDERER! So definitely a good parent! The comics just kind of handwave away Zoe’s mom most of the time, which was the right choice, because Ayer wants us to be on Deadshot’s side here, but it’s literally a choice between "a serial killer but you take credit cards” and a normal loving parent and somehow he thinks serial killer is the right answer? WTF happened in Ayer’s life that he thinks this is a choice where we side with Deadshot?! And it’s not even visitation rights or anything, Deadshot wants full custody. And the film thinks he’s in the right!

Not once, at any job I have ever had, one of which was a tourist attraction that required all visitors to wear a pass, have I ever seen someone wear a visitors pass on their sleeve. Not once. And it’s honestly such a good summary of the pervading wrongness of this film. This doesn’t feel like it was made by people. It feels like it was made by middlingly intelligent algorithms trying to pass as human.

Someone please tell me what the fuck any of this set is supposed to mean. The pose feels deliberate, but it’s not invoking anything I can see except the hanged man from the Ryder-Waite tarot deck, the halo of knives almost looks like it’s pseudo-religious imagery except that it’s not a full halo, the circle is incomplete on one side because of a broken piano, does the piano mean something? What about the babygrows, do they mean something? Does the Joker... want kids? Kill kids? Think Harley’s pregant? What the hell is any of this supposed to mean, and if, as I suspect, it was never supposed to mean anything why the fuck did they go to the trouble of making it?! What exactly does the hours this took to put together add to the movie?

David Ayer has a really weird relationship with both gang culture and latino gang culture specifically. He always feels the need to shoehorn them in somehow, and it’s this weird love-hate relationship where he apparently thinks latino gangs are so cool they have to be in everything, but is also so fucking racist he’s incapable of having a latino character who isn’t in a gang. Also in order to shoehorn them in here, he basically removed all of Joker’s henchmen (except for one scene which serves no narrative purpose) and replaced when with generic racist-stereotype LA gangs.

The fact that Griggs just hands Harley the phone in front of all the other guards and soliders was A Choice. Made even more so by the fact that Griggs never actually pay off. He gives Harley the phone, she tells him he’s “so screwed now”, and then... nothing. He’s just gone for the rest of the movie. He’s not even in the epilogue back in prison scenes.

I fucking love that the first thing Waller does is tell the world’s best assassin her real name. That is just... *chefs kiss* Everyone in this film is so fucking stupid.

I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming and I remembered the line perfectly, and I still had to stop the film because I was laughing too hard for “Ah would advise naht gettin’ killed by her, her sword traps the souls of its victims”. It’s the ‘that wizard came from the moon’ of film dialogue, and no one could have made it work, but the southern accent is really what makes that line delivery. I don’t know why, there’s just something about it in that drawl that it just endlessly hilarious.

It really is impressive how every character in this manages to be an offensive stereotype, sometimes multiple offensive stereotypes at once.

I love how Flagg’s right-hand woman is a samurai with a magical possessed sword that traps the souls of the damned who also isn’t military and refuses to speak English most of the time, but the squad are too weird for him. “You won’t believe it, this guy Boomerage, he’s got these bent stick things, and when he throws them they come back! I am freaking out, I can’t deal with this. Oh hi Katana, trap any damned souls lately?”

Harley is explicitly malicious in this in a way no other version of Harley has ever been, which is a Freudian nightmare when you combine it with her also being more sexualised than ever, and more infantalised than any version outside the Arkham games. Someone get Ayer a goddamn therapist. (Also in the vein of everyone being dumb in this, Harley is now an absolutely terrible psychiatrist and all her diagnoses are explicitly wrong, so that’s fun.)

The fucking pink unicorn-bundle of money switcheroo. There’s nothing to say on it that hasn’t already been said but holy shit. How do you fuck something up that bad? How? It’s like looking into Chekov’s nightmares and finding a pink stuffed unicorn staring back.

I love the way the soliders just come and go in this. Are they dead, are they alive, have they abandonned the cause? Why the fuck knows? Certainly not the editors!

I love how we’re supposed to be really sad about El Diablo being dead, but not care that Croc is seemingly directly underneath the explosion and definitely about to die, that’s fun.

I need to know if it was Ayer or Cara Delavigne’s choice to make Enchantress be just.. doing a little dance. Duing all the ‘tense’ moments. Because there are probably things which undercut tension more than the bad guy having a bit of boogy, but not many.

Enchantress gets so many costume changes, and I want to believe that they’re all from different versions of the film but I honestly think it was deliberate and I need someone on in the design department for this movie to tell me why because it add nothing.

I think the best thing about the stupidly on the nose liscenced soundtrack is that it just disappears once they arrive in Midway city. After spirit in the sky it’s original music all the way until the final scene. The great soundtrack DC stans insist this film has is literally only in the first 50 minutes and the last 2 of a 2hr+ movie.

The glorification of abuse in this is... seriously fucking something else. Twilight doesn’t have a patch on this. 50 Shades of Grey doesn’t have a patch on this. This shit is disgusting, and the fact that they pushed so hard to get it a child friendly rating is just morally bankrupt.

Possitive note to end on:

The dialogue is way too on the nose and exposition dump-y but the scene in the bar works pretty well. It fulfils its role in the story, and gives us a decent dose of team bonding.

Deadshot and Harley have great chemistry, and Boomer is perfectly cast, in a way that makes me really hopeful for James Gunn’s take on the team. A writer who knows how to write friendships could do a lot with the three of them, and they’ve been the core squad since 2011 so they’re the ones who matter. It probably helps that whatever Will Smith’s faults as an actor, you could cast him opposite a housebrick and they’d somehow have great chemistry.

[myriahkamm]

I live-blogged watching BvS and Justice League on FB earlier; here are my unedited thoughts. :P

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

I'm watching Batman V. Superman (because bad movie night I guess idk), and during the opening scene rehashing the Waynes' deaths (for what feels like the millionth time in cinematic history--seriously, y'all, we can be done with that for a while and definitely don't need a 5 minute slow-motion scene about it), when Thomas says Martha's name as they're dying, I burst out laughing because (i) I didn't remember that he said her name during this scene and (ii) is this supposed to be some kind of foreshadowing for the really dumb crux of the movie where Batman and Superman stop fighting because omg their moms have the same name? I literally can't stop laughing. This movie is such a joke. 🤣

Having the Robin costume in this film with absolutely no context is just stupidly pointless fanboy pandering. Anyone who actually gives a crap about Batman lore should realistically hate that.

Lex Luthor, one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, bitching about not having power is definitely on brand, but I am just super *not* a fan of the quirky, kind-of-nerdy-and-awkward Lex Luthor this film decided to go with. The hardcore businessman Lex Luthor from the 90s and 00s will always be the Lithor I like best. Y'know, the one based at least in part on Donald Trump. That one.

This Jesse Eisenberg version is way too much of a Mary Sue. Businessman *and* scientist *and* awkward nerd? Yeah, Jesse Eisenberg played Mark Zuckerberg, but I'm not sure Lex Luthor should be Mark Zuckerberg.

Ugh, I totally forgot about the Darkseid-foreshadowing dream that's never going to go anywhere because, let's be real, DC is never going to do a live-action film with Darkseid (and it would be awful even if they did). Also, Batman using guns in that dream is a thing I'll never be cool with. I don't care what kind of world he thinks he's living in in that dream; Batman has established principles and pretty much only goes against them in alternate universes.

Jesus, I forgot about the whole Flash-from-the-future scene, too. DC wrote a lot of checks we're never going to be able to cash in this film. Promising an Injustice-esque Superman-is-evil kind of storyline that they're never going to do anything with...why would they do that?

So in the dream, Darkseid-related stuff is going on (which, in Justice League, does sort of happen with Steppenwolf) and Superman says "she was everything to me, and you took her away from me." Then future-Flash says that "Lois is the key". Are they implying Batman has premonitions? Are they giving him a superpower? 🤣

Oh, that's right, they blew up the U.S. Capitol in this movie. 🤣 These scenes that are supposed to be really serious and filled with tension just keep making me laugh.

Why did they decide Batman needed to make a kryptonite spear? I mean, other than plot reasons so they could use it later against Doomsday. Batman uses projectiles and his fists; he rarely uses swords or spears or whatever.

Why did they decide Doomsday had to be created using a mixture of Kryptonian and Luthor's DNA? In the comics, Doomsday is an experimental clone based on ancient Kryptonian DNA. Why (in my opinion) make Doomsday so much more pathetic by adding human DNA into the mix? Freaking weird decision.

"Mm." What a weird quirk to add to Luthor's character. "Mm" every other sentence. What's that all about?

Luthor manipulating Batman into fighting Superman is...so unbelievable. Luthor manipulating Superman to hate Batman, waaaaay more believable. But no, that's not what they went with. They went with Luthor manipulating Batman for two years into wanting to fight Superman. Superman just randomly came to hate Batman on his own and only got manipulated into fighting him at the end. They could have just gone with hey, Batman's suspicious of everyone and would naturally be suspicious of a superpowered alien, especially with the whole setup they did at the beginning that coincided with stuff from Man of Steel. But nope. Nope, they went with the dumber plot.

Doesn't Luthor have way too much info about all these heroes' secret identities? Are we just pretending secret identities don't matter anymore? That's too 90s or something?

Why does the kryptonite spear make an "omg I'm a glowy thing" sound? 🤣

And now we're at the stupid Martha part that makes no sense because if you were about to die, you wouldn't say "save [mom's name]"; you would just say "save my mom!" 🤣

Batman would totally save Superman's mom even if their moms didn't have the same name. It's just such a stupid, stupid plot point and lends itself to endless mockery. 🤣

I *do* like this fight scene where Batman is making his way through the goons to get to Martha. The choreography is really good. Reminds me a lot of the Arkham video games.

Man, this Doomsday just...doesn't really work on a fundamental level. What makes comic Doomsday so powerful and terrifying is (i) it's not just a mindless monster, but is actually intelligent and can plan and strategize; (ii) iwas created through such extreme experimentation that it was repeatedly destroyed and then remade again over and over and over to give it endurance and formidably; (iii) and it's pretty much unstoppable from all that experimentation and uncontrollable because of its intelligence.

Also, what's with this explody thing Doomsday does in this film? A monster can be terrifying without being able to blow up a bunch of stuff. I'm not sure what the point of explody Doomsday is other than lazy writing.

The military hit it once and came to the conclusion that not only does it get more powerful "every time we hit it," but also that it's unkillable? Okay. More lazy writing.

And we're back to one of my biggest issues with Man of Steel: Superman just not giving a shit about collateral damage. Even if the island they're on is uninhabited, that doesn't exactly mean he should just be fine with blowing a bunch of shit up in the course of this fight. Sheesh.

How did Lois know they needed the spear again? She had no reason to go underwater to try to get it. This whole "let's make Lois useless time and again so Superman can save her" thing is really annoying.

Superman's "death" scene carries so little weight if you know (like pretty much everyone should have known, let's be real) that he's not really dead. Like, sure, for the characters it means something because they don't know he'll be back, but for the audience? At least for me, it doesn't make me feel a whole lot.

So all the soldiers at Superman's funeral--do they know they're carrying an empty casket? Just curious.

The dirt rising off the casket at the end for a split second is soooooo dumb. For anyone naive enough to think he *is* really dead, just let them think it. Just let that be a thing. Come on. (Also considering that he doesn’t just come back on his own; it takes a charge from a Mother Box in Justice League for him to come back. That makes this end scene a lie, too.)

Ok, BvS is done. Need another drink and a snack, then I'll move on to Justice League. 😅

Justice League:

Haha, obvious Superman facial CGI right off the bat, omg, I forgot how horribly obvious it is. 🤣

Also forgot that we're starting off with parademons right away. Sheesh.

Do all of Snyder's films have to have gratuitous slow-motion scenes at the beginning? Ugh, dude.

Everyone just throwing Bruce Wayne's name around in relation to Batman all the time. Secret identities are dead, y'all. No superhero can have a real life, I guess.

Ugh, I forgot this film pushes Batman/Wonder Woman pretty hard. 🙄

"It's cool if I show a bunch of Amazons with their midriffs showing as long as they have visible ab muscles, right?" Idk, Snyder, is that how armor realistically works? 🙄 Also, is it necessary for them to have lipstick on? That doesn't even exist on Themyscira, ffs.

The multiple (as I remember; only one so far) innuendo-based jokes really bring this film down, imo. "Clark said you were the thirstier woman he'd ever met." Really? Ugh. 🙄

The plot of this film is so LOTR. Amazons, Atlanteans, and Men all get Mother Boxes, sort of like the various rings of power. There's plenty you can pull from comics, y'all. You don't need to pull from other stuff.

Flash as comic relief I'm okay with. I'm not sure how I feel about *this* Flash's comic relief. I'm not a huge fan of the writing.

Break time because Je'von wants to go out on the balcony lol. 😅

And we're back. So can Steppenwolf breathe underwater? Is that a thing? 

I guess it's supposed to be super funny that everyone disappears except the fastest one of them? Sigh. The writing in this film is just so awful.

Cyborg's CGI also isn't great. I really wanted more for Cyborg because he's awesome. Sigh.

Snyder must have loved being able to do stuff with Flash. All the slo-mo he could want.

I'm not a fan of neurotic Flash, afraid of pretty much everything. He can be funny in so many better ways, but instead let's just have him be afraid of everything and make sexual jokes every now and then. 🙄

"Let's keep having Cyborg wear sweatpants and a hoodie so we don't have to spend so much on CGI. It totally won't look ridiculous." 🤣

Batman making the argument to use technology he doesn't understand to try to bring Superman back from the dead is just so out of character it's not even funny. First of all, Superman didn't need technology to come back in the comics (whether or not his "resurrection" was silly is irrelevant). Secondly, Batman literally has an enemy (Ra's al Ghul) who resurrects himself on the regular, and Batman (i) knows it's a bad idea because it messes with Ra's's sanity and (b) would never consider using the Lazarus Pit even though he has a relative understanding of how it works. This film just literally disregards established character traits in favor of it's stupid-as-hell plot. Ugh.

Superman is vulnerable to magic, idiot writers. He shouldn't be able to fight Wonder Woman's lasso. Uuughhh. Have any of the writers of this movie ever actually read any Justice League comics? 🤦‍♀️

Well, those cops definitely know Superman's name now. Since you all keep saying it in front of them.

Superman hasn't even been gone for that long (seemingly; I mean, it's hard to tell, but S.T.A.R. Labs is still doing research on the Kryptonian ship in the same genersl area as in BvS, so idk), so all this talk about what he does or doesn't remember seems...weird.

Why not wait until you defeat Steppenwolf to let your mom know you're back, Superman? For all you know, you could die again. Wouldn't that just be harder on her after seeing you back?

Why was the lasso just sitting on the Batmobile instead of with Wonder Woman? Plot so that Aquaman could say some *super funny things*. 🙄 That's not even how the lasso works, you dumb writers. Someone has to direct another bound by it to speak the truth. Seriously, do some research. Ugh. It's not that hard.

"So your plan is dying? You really are out of your mind." "I'm not the one who brought a pitchfork." See, the writers prove that they can be actually funny if they try. *If* they try.

The "everyone trying their best to hold off the big bad until Goku gets there" vibe is super strong in this movie. 😑

Part of the reason the Justice League is a thing is because no one hero can do it alone. That means it all shouldn't be riding on Superman's shoulders. If you actually know how to write the Justice League, that is.

Don't know how I feel about everyone getting perks due to nepotism now that they know Bruce Wayne...must be nice to be buddies with the richest man in the world. 😒

The Flash vs Superman race at the end is more pandering. Ugh. It would be better if Flash was less pathetic as a character in this film. Super awkward is just not very funny, y'all. Write actual jokes instead.

Okay, that's over. What a trip. Both those movies are still pretty much garbage. 🤣 The question is, will I ever watch Man of Steel again? Probably not; I hated Man of Steel more than both those movies, actually. Wrote a 3-page rant about how awful it was after seeing it in theaters originally. $3 was still way too much money to spend on that crap. 😅

Oh, side note for the after credits scene: will they ever actually go anywhere with that? They might do an okay job with a Justice League vs. Legion of Doom (or Injustice Society or whatever villain team incarnation they would decide to go with) film. That might not suck.

[american-teen-against-crime]

Rant about ur fav superhero ready go

Okay so like I have a lot of favorite superheroes loool but thank you so so much for this Alyssa I adore you I CRI

Before we start I believe it is my civic duty to inform you that when Animated BatmanTM (aka. superior batman) walks in the batsuit the cape falls around him and he just kinda shuffles across the floor and it’s the cutest thing my eyes ever done did seen

okay so Imma pick batman cuz i was recently reading a batman comic. I feel like sometimes batman gets flack and like yeah no one is perfect but a lot of times it’s because batman is written incorrectly. But thankfully whatever version of him I don’t like I get to write off lol because superhero canon is so weird. 

I wanna do a full analysis of batman some time but I think what originally drew me to the character is that he’s like the emo dude dressed like a bat, something that I feel is normally reserved for villains? Like the darkness-coded character was the good guy. That was so cool to me. He’s an amazing detective, he is incredibly smart and resilient, and he helps people not just as Batman but also Bruce Wayne. 

What sticks out to me about Bruce is that not only does he have his strict no-kill rule (COUGH COUGH BATMAN V SUPERMAN U GOT THAT WRONG) but he also is the type of guy that genuinely cares and will try to save even villains. And like not just save them from falling, like he will try to help them get back on their feet and stop following a life of crime. 

He has like a huge heckin family because he adopted so many kids but not only is that adorable because he’s the orphan who lost his family who finds them a family but he also makes a new family for himself. He trains the robins and tries to be there for them so that they never feel the same way he did, which is kinda his whole mission.

Everyone makes jokes about his parents dying, but the thing is as an eight y.o. kid that would be extremely traumatizing, no wonder he’s so messed up. You see your parents gunned down for no reason, and then you’re all alone in the ally. Not knowing if the dude is gonna come after you next, and you cant do anything, the two people you’ve always believed would protect you from anything are dead, and you saw it happen. 

Bruce runs away from home, from his past, from Gotham. He doesn’t want to be found. But he chooses to come back. Because he doesn’t want anyone to go through what he did- he fights for those scared lonely kids left on the street alone. Side note, I also love how sweet Bruce is to kids, like here’s this big hulking shadow of a man dressed like a BAT and he’ll kneel down and try to calm some poor kid down and distract them from what they’re going through, or write that he likes some kid’s drawings of him. 

Also, Bruce is heckin dramatic . Like SO DRAMATIC I love it. He makes everything bat themed because he understands branding. He fights silently but then he will make these really dumb snarky jokes and I love him for it. Also he some how always gets the upper hand on other people, like he’s so freaking smart. Like he can genuinely freak people out and outsmarts em. And I love how he’ll appear out of nowhere and scare the crap out of people lol. Also, the dude just has PRESENCE. And if you hurt someone he’s comin for your butt.

He’s also really really bad at communicating and getting across his emotions, like he’d rather jump out a window than confess he cares about someone. Like. Which is bad cuz sometimes his kids need to hear that, but I also think that they kinda know. Bruce will literally go to the ends of the UNIVERSE for the people he cares about, and I honestly think he’s a really emotional guy he just has no clue how to express his emotions. Like he comes off super grumpy but idk. I think it’s kinda funny.  

And like always, he’s always a hoe for self sacrifice. Like Bruce. Stop. I know you have a death wish. But maybe don’t be so gun-ho about it. 

 I just love the concept of Batman. Just this dude. Runnin’ round the city. Chasing baddies. Ordered coffee where you work last week at 2am. Gave you a crazy big tip. He has like 50 children, and a really sick car. Oh also there’s this Bruce Wayne dude that is a rich orphan who also has coincidentally 50 kids, and he’s like such a himbo but you love him and sometimes he really pulls out some sick burns???

 I feel I’m missing so much but thank you for the ask, this was so much fun. Love you Alyssa <3

(included are. some short clips of why I love Bats. You will notice none of them are from the Dark Knight trilogy, and while I am grateful to those movies for getting me into batman, they do not do him justice. At all.)

Batman and Ace

(if you want them. just batman best moments on youtube itll pop up) (there’s literally so many)

ALSO THERES THIS ONE TIME THAT WONDER WOMAN TRIES TO SAVE THIS TOWN FROM LIKE A FALLING PILLAR OR SMTHN I DONT REMEMBER AND SHE LIKE GETS CRUSHED UNDER IT STOPPING IT AND BATS IS THE FIRST TO RUN OUT AND HES LIKE TRYING TO DIG AND PULL HER OUT like this dude is the weakest one of the justice league yet he’s always trying to help and somehow he always manages to keep up AND HES LIKE FRANTIC and Supes tells him they can’t get her out and he looks so freaking upset but then she lifts up the pillar thing and reveals herself to be okay and everyones so happy and she’s like :))))) “YOURE VILLAGE IS SAVED” and goes and stands by the other heroes. and . when she does. she looks down and sees Bats’ muddy gloves and smiles and he like quick hides them under his cape I just-

The Justice League animated show made me a WonderBat shipper okay and it’s never gonna go away 

okay I’m finally done thank you for the ask ILY

[the-cookie-of-doom]

1-2 Serious question. Why is everyone so convinced that Dylan O’Brien and Tyler Hoechlin want nothing to do with Tyler Posey/Jeff Davis and would never come back for a Teen Wolf reunion? Tyler Posey was the leader and star of his own show, and he even said that he was the leader on set (just like Scott McCall was everyone’s leader and alpha in the show) during his panel at Dutch Comic Con 2019.

2-2 Which means that if Posey wants a Teen Wolf reboot, everyone from the original main cast should support him and give their former colleague what he wants instead of ignoring him 

I’m pretty sure this isn’t a serious question, it honestly sounds like bait from my wank anon (if it is you: hi, your text style is very recognizable, and I don’t normally mind but posing a “serious” question like this is a liiitle disingenuous and bad form) but if it is: 

First of all, yikes, this made me realize how long I’ve properly been in the TW fandom. For a second I thought it was only for like a year, but then I realize no. I watched TW in August, 2017. Eesh. Anyway. 

I don’t think I’m the best person to ask about this because I don’t keep receipts like some other blogs do (I don't personally care what actors do in their personal lives/on social media, and never search it out myself). But the reason people are pretty certain that Dylan and Tyler H, wouldn’t come back, is... why would they? 

Both have gone on to have fruitful careers. Tyler H. has been making some fun stuff, he’s the star of his own show now (he’s freaking superman, ffs). Meanwhile Dylan grew up, carried his own franchise for what, like 4, 5 years? (I don't remember when TMR came out, I think I was in middle school tho?) He’s done some great movies with really big name actors, and seems to be settled in his career to continue on that trajectory, which, good for him! I can’t wait to see what comes next. 

Tyler P. on the other hand, has done.... nothing. I remember he did that shitty B horror movie, and I think he was on Jane the Virgin for a bit as a side character? I don’t know, but he’s not done anything noteworthy since TW ended. 

Idk much about Tyler H, but it was really the starting point of Dylan’s career, and he used the exposure to go on and do bigger and better things. He was only in season 6b for... 2 episodes, I think? The final 2, right? Because he was off filming (I believe) TMR: Death Cure, and possibly American Assassin but I’m not sure. Neither of them need Teen Wolf anymore, the way Tyler P. does. he’s essentially the equivalent of a one hit wonder trying to return to the good old days with a reunion concert, except nobody cares anymore, and watching them try to drum up support for something that wasn’t all that good in the first place is just sad. 

Second, (and this is where you lose me, nonny, the tone of this section comes across very false. Again if that wasn’t intentional and you are genuine, I’m sorry, but keep your phrasing in mind in the future) Tyler Posey was the leader and star of his own show, and he even said that he was the leader on set (just like Scott McCall was everyone’s leader and alpha in the show). 

He wasn’t. At all. Just full stop. He was 19 years old, he was a kid. There were plenty of more experienced and older actors on the set; none of them would have been looking to a punk kid for leadership, I’m sorry. He may have thought he was the leader, but that was his ego speaking. The same ego that now wants to have a reboot of the show less than three years after it ended. He claims he wants it because the actors are the right age. That would make sense.... if the show hadn’t lasted as long as it did. That’s the problem with TV shows about high schoolers that try to make one year in canon last across two in real life.

If they’d done it like Harry Potter, where each movie was one school year, it would have been better. (And the last half of the show would have taken place in college, which would have made so many of the real-world problems go away. This is the hill I will die on.) But as it is, a true reunion reboot shouldn’t happen for another decade at the least. 

But that’s not what Tyler P. wants. His career didn’t take off after TW the way it did with Dylan, and he likely just wants the steady paycheck of an ongoing TV show, and to feel relevant again. I’m sure it’s a hollow feeling, as he still wasn’t relevant even when the show was relatively popular; don’t forget, the most-watched parts of the show were the ones with Dylan and Tyler H, and season 3 B which was all about Dylan/Stiles has the highest ratings of the entire show. 

And finally: If Posey wants a Teen Wolf reboot, everyone from the original main cast should support him and give their former colleague what he wants instead of ignoring him. 

Why? It’s no one’s job to give Tyler P what he wants, especially when what he wants will significantly affect their careers. I’m sorry, but if I’d gotten to a point where I was working with people like Michael Keaton and Mark Wahlberg, or was the face of an iconic superhero, I wouldn’t then go dedicate my time to working on a mediocre TV show from when I was a kid. Honestly in their position, I would probably look back on TW as a fond but embarrassing memory ultimately glad for the experience and the ones it lead to, but with no desire to repeat it. 

Tyler Ps recent tweets about a reboot are, in my opinion, are a cry for attention. TW is his one claim to fame and he can’t let it go. The other’s have moved on, and they have plenty more reason to avoid TW than return to it, especially when that time can be applied to better projects. 

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

FFT: once upon a dream; drew gulak

Notes:

This was sent to the ask on my main by @vonschweetz​ and it gave me the chance to write something I love dearly... Soulmate aus. So, here this one is. Perhaps one day, I’ll write a few actual series like this. Idk yet..

Summary:

For a while now, Drew and Yvette have been starring in each other’s dreams. And then, her usual video call with Carmella, her sister, brings the two... so much closer than either could’ve hoped.

Pairing:

Drew Gulak x OFC, Yvette

Warnings:

uhh.. a cute but awkward set up meeting with your soulmate.

It was the same dream every night. And Yvette found herself sitting up in bed and glaring daggers at her cell phone because she quite frankly hadn’t wanted to wake up.

She finally became coherent enough to reach for her ringing cell phone and she stifled a giggle at the pictures that the girls had been sending her all night in an attempt to get her to come out and meet them at the club they’d gone to.

When she got to the third photo and she saw him standing there, she nearly dropped the phone and then she picked it back up, rubbing her eyes.

Then, when the image didn’t change, she fired off a quick text to Carmella.

→ Hey, sis?

→ The guy in the third photo… Wearing the Superman tee shirt and the baseball cap.. Who is he?

→ Don’t go getting any bright ideas.. I’m just curious.

By the time she’d stumbled into her bathroom and splashed her face with water to wake herself up completely, her sister Carmella had texted her back.

← That’s just Gulak.

← He’s single, by the way.. And definitely a better guy than that last douchebag you were with. Knows how to treat a girl real good. ;P

← I’m gonna get ideas, Tiny. I’m ya sister.

Yvette almost didn’t text back. But the dream came back to her all over again and she could feel every single touch those hands of his made.. Hear that voice, low and deep, the husky laugh. Hell, she could even smell his cologne. The end result was her texting back her sister.

→ Okay, look.. Remember those dreams? The very vivid, very fucking explicit ones? He’s the guy.

→ That sounds insane. Ignore me. This has to be lack of sleep.

She flopped down on her couch with a pint of ice cream and the remote to the television and she was just about to turn on Netflix when her phone lit up.

It was her sister, on a FaceTime call.

“Mella?”

“Girl, what the hell? Were you sleepin?” Carmella stepped away from the noise to talk to her sister. Of course, she happened to linger close to Drew when she did so, and she made sure to talk really loud.

She could feel his eyes on the phone in her hand.

The second Yvette saw him standing there, she bit her lip and went quiet. She could feel herself blushing. “Seriously, Mella?”

“What?”

“What part of don’t get any bright ideas did you not understand?”

“What? I’m not doin anything.”

“She’s not, Yvette. How you doin, girl? Why didn’t you come out with us?” R Truth was blocking the view Yvette had of her literal dream man and Yvette was at least partially grateful for it because she probably looked like death warmed over.

Double shifts tend to do that to a person.

Yvette giggled and bit her lip, taking a bite of her ice cream and Carmella groaned. “Girl… You’re seriously just still sitting there? With netflix and the cat and ice cream?”

“Umm, yeah? Remember? Double shifts all week?”

“Come out with us!”

“I don’t know…”

“Please?”

Carmella was cut off by the tap to her shoulder. She turned and found herself looking up at Drew Gulak and before she could stop herself, the amused grin came. “What’s up, big guy?”

“Is that your sister?”

“Mhmm.”

“I.. Nevermind. It’s insane.”

Drew started to walk off, mentally kicking himself for even butting in and intruding on a phone call, because he understood how scarce family time was when you traveled like the roster tended to, but before he could, Carmella was grabbing hold of his wrist and handing off the phone to Truth.

“What’s up?”

“I’m telling you, it’s crazy.”

“Try me. C’mon, give it a go, Gulak.”

“I’ve… Look, I’ve been having the same dream every night for a week solid now and… Your sister, she’s… Kind of the girl in said dream. I told you it was insane.” Drew was trying to ease out of the potentially awkward situation, but Carmella wasn’t having it.

Yvette saw her sister talking to Drew and she swore under her breath, making R Truth laugh. “What’s up? Why you lookin all down tonight?”

“I’m not down, I just.. I swear to fuck, if she’s telling that poor man that I’ve been having dreams about him or trying to set us up..”

“Ah, she just worried about ya, tiny.”

“I know, but she needs to stop! I’m fine, I… Okay, look.. Maybe I just saw him on tv or something and like… my brain took that and ran. But here she goes…”

Truth raised a brow and Yvette braced herself, stomach fluttering nervously. And not in a good way this time.

Carmella listened as Drew described, in vivid detail, the exact same scenario her sister described. When Drew finished, Carmella was staring at him and he took it to mean that Carmella actually thought he was crazy. He started to stand and walk away, but Carmella’s words stopped him.

“She’s been havin the same dream.. About you.”

Drew’s brow raised. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me, big guy, don’t even play. Do you wanna talk to her?”

“I don’t wanna intrude…”

“I’m gonna spend the next three days with her, big guy. It ain’t intruding if I asked ya. Now.. do you wanna talk to her or not?”

Drew took a deep breath and chuckled, shrugging. “Sure.”

Carmella motioned Truth over with the phone and she took it.

“Hey, Vette?”

“Yeah, Mella?”

“When I said no shenanigans, I lied. Somebody wants to talk to ya. You two have a nice long chat, okay? I’ma make Truth take me out to the dance floor.” Carmella grabbed R Truth and practically dragged him away, leaving Drew with a hot pink and heavily bejeweled phone. He chuckled quietly and Yvette tried to will her brain and her mouth to work together and stop betraying her.

But what do you even say when you’re face to face, well maybe not exactly, but… What do you say when suddenly confronted with the fact that the man you’ve been having very specific sexual dreams about actually exists?

Or that naturally, your sister works with the guy?

Drew chuckled again and cleared his throat, plunking himself down onto a stool. “So..”

“So..” Yvette echoed. “What’s your name?”

“It’s Drew.. What’s yours?”

“Yvette. It’s nice to meet you?” Yvette tangled her fingers in her hair and then gave a soft laugh. The sound made him smile and he chuckled, nodding.

“Your sister…”

“Oh god… No, she didn’t tell you. I swear to God, she’s never been able to keep a secret.”

“No, no.. It’s fine..” Drew reassured her as he stood, pacing back and forth, ultimately deciding to step out of the bar they were all in so he could actually hear. He hadn’t wanted to come tonight, but Ali and a few of the other guys dragged him out.

“What exactly did she tell you?” Yvette asked, while crossing her fingers but knowing deep down that her sister was a grade A blabbermouth and that knowing Mella, she probably told him every single little detail.

“Nothing.. At least not until I asked who you we re.”

Yvette opened and closed her mouth and laughed a little, laying back on her couch so that her legs reclined over the back of it.

“Are you laying upside down?” Drew chuckled and Yvette nodded.

… come on, seriously… say something, damn…

“Yeah.” she finally managed to form a word. “You were saying?”

“I asked about you first. Just so you know. I.. had to when I saw you while she was face timing you.”

… if he says he’s having the same dreams.. No, no.. that won’t be it… hell, if he is even interested in me at all, I might just like… faint…

…. Do not blow this, Gulak… do not make it awkward….

“Why did you? I mean.. Not that it’s bad, I’m just curious..” Yvette wanted to kick herself as soon as she asked the question. Drew chuckled and rubbed his free hand over his head, taking a deep breath.

“This is gonna sound crazy..” Drew warned but Yvette shrugged and slipped her spoon into the pint of ice cream after finally sitting up again and taking a bite, she told him, “Just try. I work the ER. In New York. Trust me, I’ve seen some shit.”

“Okay.. Well, a week ago, I started having these insanely intense dreams..”

Yvette nearly choked on her ice cream, but she managed to keep herself mostly composed, even as the dream she’d been having replayed in her mind. “Continue?”

“And you’re kind of in them..”

That time, Yvette couldn’t compose herself. She actually did choke on her ice cream a little and after a second or two, Drew asked, “Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“I’m fine, it’s good.. You said you were having dreams and I’m in them?”

Drew mulled it over. This had to be creeping her out. He’d blown it. He took a deep breath and worked on a plan to pull the conversation out of the danger zone and back to a more neutral topic, but to his surprise, she took a deep breath and then she said something that had him gaping.

“I’ve been having dreams about you too.. Very… Interesting ones.”

Yvette figured that maybe he was just hitting on her, she knew how some of the guys operated. But she got this feeling that Drew wasn’t that kind of guy, either, so she wasn’t really sure what to make of it. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat. “That wasn’t a line, right? When you said that? You were being serious because.. I’m not lying. And then I saw you in one of the pictures my sister texted me and… I kinda asked about you too.”

“I don’t do the whole pick up line thing. I prefer to just say what I want.”

… except when you’re being a chicken shit… his mind corrected, but he took a deep breath.

Yvette stood and went into her kitchen, putting the pint of ice cream away and her spoon into the sink and she admitted with a laugh, “Mella was trying to get me to come out tonight but like… Nightclubs and bars are not my thing.”

They both blurted it out at the same time, “I prefer quiet and less crowds.” and both of them laughed.

Yvette took a deep breath and then asked, “Hey… do you wanna ditch the bar? I have netflix.”

“And ice cream.” Drew joked gently as he thought it over. “Yeah. I’d like that. Text me directions and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“And sent. I’ll see you soon?”

“Definitely.”