#bataranswers

[batarangsoundsdumb]

Have you been infected with the DPxDC yet?

i'm slightly embarassed to say that i never really watched danny phantom. i've seen some pretty awesome comics about it tho! y'all enjoy yourself

[batarangsoundsdumb]

how many more chances can i give? what's next? you forget the winx club intro song?

listen peter i can deal with a lot of shit but forgetting winx club lore is just- it's unforgivable. consider this friendship over

Wait give me one more chance I have something important for you

[batarangsoundsdumb]

House (blue) of Leaves is about a house (blue) that's very much not feng shu

at least the feng shui guy that haunts my youtube shorts would have a good time fixing it up?

[batarangsoundsdumb]

I genuinely thought that last post was about House of Leaves for a minute

i live under a rock and don't know what that is! love and peace!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hi, can you do headcanons where batfamily and maybe some other heroes are scared by Dick's intelligence?

like "my god, I totally forgot that he was a genius"

wally and dick go on a mission in france and while wally is whipping out google translate dick is already like 'bonjour, je cherche un homme qui s'appelle-'

he runs them out to slovenia on a lead and while wally is back to google translate dick is already helping the perp's grandma file her taxes

"how many languages do you speak?"

"mentally? two on a good day."

"and technically?"

"like thirteen? maybe fourteen if i squint?"

wally's like 'not that i expected anything less from you but what the fuck man'

damian assumes dick is ridiculously stupid at first because he's seen dick's file and it's like 'didn't finish college, hasn't had a stable job ever, still doesn't use his trustfund money' so clearly dick is beneath him

but when damian gets completely stumped over a chemical compound he can't identify, dick manages to identify it after 10 seconds of looking and damian's just like "i'm going to idolise the absolute shit out of you from here on out"

steph gives dick her med school homework to prove to bruce that college is really difficult and he just fills it all in in 15 minutes and hands it over while she's still ranting about the work load.

"how can you know this much about neurobiology?"

"i dabble"

12 year old dick grayson accidentally solved superman's case because he thought it was clark's crime novel and he's like "clearly this franklin guy killed his brother, his entire alibi is shit, it's too obvious. honestly uncle clark, i know you can write a better story than this."

jason tried to cheat dick out of a win at a pubquiz by switching all the questions with really specific ones and dick still won.

"which country was group 4's winner in the european football cup of 1996?"

"croatia"

"how the fuck"

tim knows that technically, dick is a genius, but he's also seen him flying into walls at 60 miles per hour so he's a little skeptical until dick's like "wanna see me hack the pentagon?" and genuinely hacks the pentagon

[batarangsoundsdumb]

I keep seeing here on Tumblr this 'woke' takes about how batman is a rich freak beating up poor and mentally ill people and to me that represents the general Tumblr Thinking™ as a whole. Not saying that batman isn't a weirdo (affectionate) but that's so reductive. They kill people, the villans. That's the whole point, it's not like he punches random struggling people, he fights criminals. Like, the Joker is genuinely a terrorist since the 80s, not some sad little mew mew. Thank you for the space to say this.

i feel like you're right, yes, it's a cheap take to say he's just a rich guy beating up criminals. instead he's a man who loves a city despite how much it has taken from him. i'd like for people to realise that without batman, bruce feels helpless. he can throw as much money around as he wants but most of it will disappear into deep pockets while the people who need it are left to starve. that helplessness is like watching a car crash happen from the other side of the road.

bruce, traumatised and angry, chooses to intervene. he steps out onto the battlefield and he actually starts to help people. yes he punches the living daylights out of people, and yes some of those people belong in an asylum, but would you rather sit around and watch a car crash happen? wait to hand money over to the people left behind and then what? wait for it to happen again?

[batarangsoundsdumb]

dc vs vampires except jasons internal monologue the entire time is "omg..... like twilight...."

[batarangsoundsdumb]

personally i'm obsessed with @cryptocism 's amazing art right now. and dc should really just be hiring @doc-squash bc their art is *chefs kiss* and @dickiesgrayson 's social media au gives me life

Hey, I just found your blog (it's very funnsy and insightful). Do you have any good recommendations for Jason Todd-centric blogs? Basically ones that talk about his character and analyze his comics or just make funny skits about him

@mumblesplash technically isn’t a Jason Todd centric art blog, but recently they have posted a lot of Jason art, (ones that have taken me out repeatedly)

@batarangsoundsdumb is the light of my life, especially with their memes.

@dead-robin-club has hilarious skits!

@dailyjasontodd lives up to his name!

@sleeping-lilies isn’t a Jason Todd blog, but I love them, so on the list they go!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

the idea of clark editing superman/lois lane fics for people is very funny to me so i made these during history

:)

bro! you are the fucking shit! that's you, you are the shit, holy fuck.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

Tom hardy saying 'ofcourse I've had gay sex' but its bruce wayne

[batarangsoundsdumb]

Bruce would probably post a random minion meme in his twitter account and then disappear from social media for a month until he posts another minion meme because the PR division from Wayne Enterprises are once again bothering him to engage more on social media

bruce posting this on a sunday morning after 3 months of twitter silence:

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

It's right, i also do headcanons about Dick's training, in the years between robin's transition to nightwing

Bruce: did you learn to do this while training with those eldritch spirits in that magical dimension full of demons?

Dick: Did you learn those moves while training with those goblins who shrunk you up and made you fight a grasshopper?

they speak so seriously none of the batboys know if they are serious or just messing with them

the biggest problem is when more and more batpeople start to find it relatable and then they find out all of them trained with the same french pastry chef who was a master of karate.

tim: you guys trained with him too?

jason: are you kidding? i spent months with him after i came back to life.

cass: i trained with him for weeks when i was a toddler.

damian: what? you mean you all knew chef Kick-Ass?

[batarangsoundsdumb]

I headcanon that during Bruce Wayne's angsty teenager phase he was a preppy goth. At the same time he would tuck his sweater vest in his pants, he would apply eyeliner and listen to some obscure orchestral covers of punk songs in Wayne Manor's gramophone and yell at Alfred that this was not a phase.

bruce wayne knows how to play welcome to the black parade on violin.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

But you do have alot in common with bruce wayne. Like having children.

how many times do i have to come out as a liar before anybody listens to me

[batarangsoundsdumb]

thoughts on:

bruce is a paladin bc he fights for an oath, and protects his children with both healing and sword.

dick is a ranger? idk it seemed cool and i think dick would wanna be robin hood ha

jason is a bard bc he wants to kill people with words, and viscous mockery can be a cantrip and it is hella funny to say "perish" and have someone die bc of it.

babs is a wizard? bc like, learns magic thru books and studying and she kinda does that as oracle and batgirl? im not 100% sure of this tho

tim is 100% a rogue but only bc he desperatley wants to be cool.

steph is a monk, i read the description about monks giving up their previous structured calm lives to become adventurors and idk i think it kinda fits steph really well after everything she went thru? also the dnd website picture for a monk has flowing hair like i imagine stephs lol

damian is a druid bc he wants to beastshift and also throw people with vines. either that or he lost or a rock paper scissors with tim over being the rogue.

cass could be a cleric? bc she wants to take care of everyone she loves and its cool to do that with radiant power and blast every bad thing with guiding bolt.

duke as a sorcerer bc he got his powers thru a bloodline lol.

idk thoughts? kinda want to draw the gang as dnd characters now

!!!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

Idk if comics already did this but imagine, Dick always do batman when Bruce can't for some reason, but no one does Nightwing, then someone try to put 2 and 2 together and got 5 and decides that Bruce Wayne is Nightwing bc Nightwing never ever is there when Bruce is in another country, being kidnapped, in a party, etc, but Batman, Gotham's Cryptid furry is there

nightwing shoves bruce wayne off the stage at an auction and goes "this man is not me- we are not the same- i would-" he pulls at bruce's suit jacket "never wear last season prada"

the next theory is that nightwing is oliver queen