#like i'm not hydrated enough for this
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#okay i am going to need pices season to over now#i can't cry anymore#like i'm not hydrated enough for this#next thing you know i'm going to be leaking iced coffee out of my eyes
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"You really care about me."
"Yeah. I really, really care about you."
"I- I really care about you too."
"No, but... I like, really, really care about you."
#mr. & mrs. smith#mr. & mrs. smith prime#maya erskine#donald glover#john x jane#alana x michael#john smith#jane smith#i... need these two in a romcom i think#i like them both individually and i was gonna get around to it but it really was the interviews they did together that sold me on the show#they've got great chemistry#i enjoyed it for what it is#mr. & mrs. smith spoilers#i just need them in a romcom so they play people who aren't as fucked up because they were both frustrating at times#their last scene made me cry tbh so i guess i'm a sucker#i want them to get a 2nd season just because i like maya and donald but also... fuck amazon#michael#cw: food?#him making sure she's hydrated even though they're going through a rough patch was ao sweet of him#also i can't with her kissing him on the cheek in the last scene#i say i liked this show enough and that i'm not super attached to it... so why am i still thinking about them???#i really wanted to hear her say his real name but i get it#i find it oddly sweet that the first thing john asked her(not said ASKED) was if she really loved him and she said that she did#alana
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2nd batch of sourdough! Lots better than the first, actually got some crumb structure this time (bc the starter is finally ready for bread)
#it's 70% hydration 20% starter and 16h bulk fermentation & 6h of proofing#I think I like the 70% hydration for now#it's still enough moisture to get that open structure but easy to work with#(hydration is the thing that makes the crumb structure open&tender so kind of the higher hydration dough u have the better the bread but th#problem with high-hydration dough is that it's real hard to work with so gotta build some skills before can move onto those#like some professionals even make 100% hydration doughs)#(the percentage is like how much water you have in comparison to the flour: 100% is like if u have 500g of flour you also have add 500g of#water or like 70%: 500g flour and 350g of water)#this is just a 250g of flour one tho bc I live alone and don't want waste/my freezer full of bread#idk if these interest anyone but idc it's my blog I'm going to be posting abt sourdough#should make up a tag for these#elvis bread#it's that one ^^ for now until (if) I can come up with a better one bc my starter is named Elvis#sourdough#april 2024#2024
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~~~guess who didn't faint in the shower~~~
#look i know that's like. baseline#but I've been sick as a fucking dog all week#i (naturally) thought it was a hangover on Sunday#but actually it was the fucking flu DIGUISED as a hangover#i knew I'd been hydrated enough#anyway I'm getting better look i have clean hair and everything#pay no attention to the pallor or the cough
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chesecak 🤤
#minecraft#minecraft villager#minecraft art#minecraft fanart#water theme inspired by my favorite watercolor artist#mineblr#stay hydrated!#minecraft allay#allat lore in the illager tag is crazy#never could I be as creative#they're like a daily bedtime story#while I'm just here making art of villagers#the makiling botanic garden was really really awesome but some ants bit me but that's part of nature isn't it#@Bantal:me:english or spanis-#Case-oh:*fart#me:oh shi-#Evil jonkler:Heheheha🙄#me:killed by zombified piglin#Zombified piglin:Hippity hoppity your armor is my property#5 like for part 2🤯🤯#@Bantal:part 2#me:OOOMAGAAAA#Case oh:Turn ito giant with super fart power#my cat:skibidi SKIBIDIII#me:run to the giant caseoh#ny friend:roses are red violet are blue i have 5 fingers and the middle one for yo#okay enough tags#I envy you all#I did see some luzon hornbills and even got one of their feathers that was just laying on the ground#hey I said enough tags
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hi feel free not to answer this but you're one of the only chronically ill people i know and i probably need to get my blood drawn because i am having Many Issues but i am. super afraid of needles. so basically the question is are needles that draw blood like,, really big? do they hurt a lot? sorry this is probably a dumb question im just terrified auhfguhgahhf
No worries! And in my experience, no not really! My blood draws never really hurt; it's about the same feeling like if your leg falls asleep pins and needles sensations, but only for a split second when the needle comes in and out. If done correctly, you won't feel anything during the actual process, maybe just a bit dizzy & numb. It may sting for a while after the draw (mine still does) but it's really really minor, you probably won't even notice it much. It may also bruise; it's pretty normal too.
The size of the needle varies, though, so here's a word of advice: search out for a more modern, accomodating hospital/lab, and a nurse who works with pediatrics patients, if you can (regardless of your actual age, they are just chiller about anxious people in general imo). Fear of needles is super common and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about (I actually do well with blood draws but I'm Not Good with IVs and injections, the latter ones moreso than the former), so there is a solid chance they can accommodate you by using a smaller needle or/and local anesthetic (thought I think the last one is... Rarer. My dentist did it, but that man is a force of his own. I don't know how many of his practises are like... Normal).
Getting a good nurse that puts you at ease is so, so important. I cannot overstate it. I don't mean to make this sound bad but I can't lie either, if they mess up, can't find your vein, or just generally suck & rush you & make you feel stupid for asking for accomodations, get up and Leave. Because messed up draws do hurt (not too much, though! I'd say it's comparable to like... Accidentally biting your tongue kinda hurt). I only had one bad experience and I never went to that nurse again.
In general though: the needle probably isn't as big as you think it'd be, it's smaller than the injection ones usually, and you can ask for a smaller one; it doesn't hurt! Actually when I first got my blood drawn from my vein at 10 or so, I was like, wait, that's it? Because of a stupid policy my hospital usually only took blood from the fingertips for kids (don't ask. I don't get it either), and oh god, that hurt Much More than the "adult" one. I was so relieved after being scared out of my mind three minutes earlier. You don't have as much sensation in that area as you for in your fingertips, so if you ever had a papercut and want to compare: papercut hurts more & for longer than the blood draw does.
Good luck to you!! I hope you figure whatever's going on haha. Remember to drink water before the draw to make everyone's lives easier if it comes down to it!
#jay rambles about life.txt#jay gets asks.txt#cw needles#needles tw#I usually don't tag these but this time the description is really graphic so here you go#hopefully that doesn't mess up your search anon lmao#I also didn't want to add it because it's too graphic: I think usually in the USA they use g21 needles. mine uses 23g afaik which is smalle#maybe if you can you can google it or get your hands on smth of a similar size to get used to it! but I've never been scared of needles so#idk how that works#even at its worst the pain I had was like. very There & irritating but not enough to make me tear up or even clench my jaw#I'd say my flare ups hurt Much Worse lol#that was just the accident with the shitty nurse#the other bad experience I had was just me almost fainting. no extra pain! just lightheaded & had to lay down#edit to add because it popped into my head: I actually think most nurses come into the job more prepared for doing these accommodations than#not. especially if you're a teen anon#I started getting those regularly (every 2-3 months) when I was around 14. because pcos#and every time the nurse was like 'don't you wanna... look away or something? do you want us to turn on the music? put a cartoon on?'#and I'm like 'no this is good thank you :]' and proceeded to stare Directly At It. because I'm a freak#she found it unsettling at first and entertaining after that#but also it helps me monitor my hydration level on a more global basis than if or not I feel thirsty but that's a topic for another time
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the Only thing I dislike abt my top surgery scars is how bad they itch all the time like please.......
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officially too hot to exist during daylight hours which means my social meter is making a sad face at me (in want of socialization) because i got home from work and slept
#having roommates i like helps very much with this#but god.#also i need to hydrate more before i sleep because i've been dealing with more migraine pain the past few days#and i'm 90% sure it's bc i've not been drinking enough for the heat#anyway#who wants to hang out#i'll play a video game or go on wikipedia with you
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augh my head and body hurt so bad rn
#maybe i can make some painkiller tea it tastes so nasty but maybe if i add enough honey...#my forehead still feels warm but at least i don't have the chills anymore i was so cold last night#I'm not actually sick btw this is just what my body does literally every time I travel or exert myself too much#i feel a lot better today despite the pain. and pain can be dealt with there are tools for that#i am drinking a lot of water also..i had to get up to pee at like 2:30 but it's worth it i feel more hydrated. gotta get up & get more soon
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Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post
Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight
#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine#and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out”#so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao#am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now#I'm just questioning something about someone#sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot#even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay.#because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before.#but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in#i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong-#-again and if i need to hear another drama again#it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much#maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it?#i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess?#i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now#i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now)#i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something#i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore#okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight#mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red#alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages#(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)
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ordered a really big water bottle that comes with like a special case that has a strap on it so i can go for my walks without having to either carry my water bottle in my hands (heavy and often times annoying because i only have one free hand to do stuff with) or bring my backpack with me (often times overheats me when it's warm out and like if i'm just going for a walk around my grandma's neighbourhood or the area around my house, it's overkill because i don't need an entire backpack when most of my things fit in my fanny pack) and i am very excited about it......
#the water bottle can hold like 2 litres of water.....#it's so funny like 9 years ago when i was in residential treatment the dietitian was always getting on my case#about never drinking enough water like i used to be super dehydrated all the time and often times would get nauseous and have bad headaches#and get really bad muscle cramps#and now i'm like I HAVE TO BRING A BIG WATER BOTTLE WHEREVER I GO!!!! I NEED TO HAVE MY WATER!!!!!#and i will not leave my house without a big water bottle#but also when i was younger i like didn't take my health seriously and now i like care a lot about my health#like i eat a lot of fruit as a snack and i try to exercise every day if the weather is ok like it's not pissing rain or snowing#and i try to stay hydrated cause when i was younger i used to feel sick a lot cause of dehydration and like the other stuff i mention#idk sorry i'm rambling i am just like so excited about my new water bottle like the case is really cute and comes with little charms!!#it's like a spooky sort of pattern like it's feminine but idc i'm secure enough in my masculinity to have a purple water bottle#with like a cute spooky case#i'm thinking of getting my sister one for christmas if i like it!#we'll see....#anyways this is like what being 27 is like for me i'm excited about getting a big water bottle and carrying case and i sit outside and read
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Me: yeah I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed, and it feels like i have way too much on my plate, but at least my mental health has been pretty good lately!
The Brain Horrors™:
#like. i've been taking my meds and vitamin D3 what else do you WANT!?#granted... have i eaten enough today? no.#am I hydrated? also no.#did I get enough sleep last night? probably not.#have I been eating enough fruits/veggies lately? by talos you're never gonna believe this -#its fine. everything is fine i'm FINE#heaven forbid they ever make a technology to physically manifest my OCD because i will beat that rat bastard to death with a shovel
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Ok so it turns out that maybe it's not just that I was sick and kinda fuzzy but I think the burn out finally won gang
#I basically get up to walk and then lie down again. I had to watch the fnaf movie in two parts bc I had to go lie down (I was sitting#comfortably at my desk)#like. I think I really overdid it last month bc of all the dr appointments and it finally caught up to me#I'm hoping it eases up in a few days. at least enough I can chip away at drawings bc I miss it ;;#I'm just too tired to do it. I am soo tired man#I might also try to do a caffeine detox. see if that helps a little (sometimes it does)#sunny with clouds#or maybe it is the sickness and now the antibiotic is also making me exhausted?? I hope so#idk#if you're reading this uh don't forget to hydrate n take care of yourself and rest when you need to 💙
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#man the way i hate the 'louis working out' discourse you have no idea you have so no idea#and i say this as someone who hates to work out and loves to play sports#like yeah he does do physical activity he said he disliked the gym which is#yeah. absolutely fair lmao#he's toned and fairly thin--probably doesn't hydrate enough--he's got 'runner muscles' and not bulky ones#my parkour instructor used to have his physique. more toned than louis but outward appearance when not flexing was the same#and no he didn't have a six pack you do not need a six pack to be toned and strong#but anyways. every time we see louis' body there's people who go#OH LOL HE'S LYING WHEN HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WORK OUT#which. weirdo behaviour.#and there's the opposite group who goes#OH LOL HE LOOKS LIKE A NOODLE SO WEAK#which. also weirdo behaviour#and like. holy shit man#i've done sports all my life and all of you have literally no idea. like literally no idea.#it happens with harry as well. the whole 'is he beefy or is he super smol' discourse#(which he is neither. he trains for cardio and endurance. he is also 1m83 tall and well-proportioned)#but not to the extent it happens with louis and holy shit people like honestly#call me conceited but it feels like i'm one of the only few experiencing reality like holy shit#1d
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Takes my 15 minute break early because I need to buy water, take my iron pills, and eat my uncrustables
#i did not get enough sleep last night and that just snowballs all my other chronic problems#< to clarify not chronic illness just like#sensory issues and anemia and stuff#I'm never hydrated properly either bc i forget to drink water#i really need to get my sleep schedule back on track because if i keep this upmy immune system is going to fail and I'm gonna get hella sick
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Lmfao all this ADHD stuff today and I still somehow forgot to take my meds
#textpost#This is only the second time I've forgotten and in my defense both times it was because my routine got screwed up#At least the only side effect to skipping a day seems to be a headache and I get grumpy so that's fine. Could be worse#I was laying in bed like why the fuck do I have a headache I got enough-ish sleep. I ate breakfast. I'm hydrated#Then I realized. Oh. Yeah. My brain pills
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