#like i wouldnt go out of my way to listen to it
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TELL US ALL OF YOUR ORV THOUGHTS MY HSY BRAINROT IS SO BAD I LOVE HER SO MUCH
TY FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RANT ABOUT ORV OMG
if any pjsk followers of mine reading this dont know orv its a series called omniscient reader's viewpoint!
i highly recommend reading the webtoon first for visualization but definitely read the novel starting from the chapter 180s (theres . like 551 chapters it took me months to finish but it took my older sibling like 3 weeks so it depends how insane u are /lh)
def recommend it if youre a huge fan of found family dynamics mweheheh and also mythology . its like a heart wrenching story disguised as a BL
gonna get into spoilers from the novel so heres ur warning !
anyway u said all my thoughts. so here we go
hsy oughhhh i love her sm shes more than just 'girlboss' i think shes more girlfailure cuz how do u manage to plagiarize ur own work smh /j
YOOHANKIM DYNAMIC MAKE ME ILL like the author cant exist without a reader . but the story also cant exist without an author . but you cant read anything if theres no author to create that story yk like THEYRE ALL TIED TOGETHER ITS AGHHH
during the previous ask i mentioned how orv handles platonic love and im still super happy how its portrayed esp kdj and ysa ... ik alot of ppl ship them romantically and/or often make them exes or such
but ive read rly good kdj x ysa platonic soulmate fics and OUGHH MY GOSHHH it made me go crazy cuz they care about e/o sooooso much
like how that one scene where kdj randomly traumadumps on her and as a defense mechanism he goes haha . just kidding XD ! but then ysa just . quietly holds his hand and shuts him up
bc ysa will never understand what hes gone thru but she can and will listen/support him when he needs it yk theres no words that need to be said shes holding his hand as kind of an anchor like 'hey ik u said u were joking but ik ur not and thats ok'
jung heewon too oughhhh when she goes "this is no salvation" I WENT BONKERSSS kdj stop hurting your companions!! u want them happy but u deserve it too!!!!!! shaking his shoulders YOURE KINDER THAN YOU THINK THE STORY YOUVE LOVED FOR YEARS AND KEPT YOU ALIVE LOVES U BACK KDJ AUGHH
i love the fact that 98% of the novel is in first pov of kdj and the fact that hes an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator . like i usually dont like first pov but orv does it well
esp when all of a sudden during the epilogue it started being third pov when kdj split into the 49% and 51% IT GAVE A RLY GOOD SENSE OF "wtf is happening . something is wrong" it rlly gives us readers the same feeling the characters have like uhmmm kdj ur ok now rigjt. right! i remember feeling so confused and uncomfortable at the sudden third pov ITS SO CLEVER
can i just also say i absolutely hate the live action . orv is meant to be consumed as a novel LIKE OF *ALL* POPULAR WEBTOONS TO ADAPT ITS THE ONE THAT WOULDNT WORK AS LIVE cashgrab ass scheme smh
i also hate and admire the fact that anyone who has finished orv is a kdj fragment . i hate how anyone who finished the entire novel kins kdj in some sort of way . like when i kin pjsk characters for example im just like haha i relate #relatable but when it comes to kdj . hes just so uncomfortably relatable for me like i need to put him under a hydraulic press
"you who reads this will survive" ITS SOOO CLEVERR its addressing kdj and YOU! the whole theme of the novel is just so . personal lowkey so when the live action got announced and some annoying ass mfs were making fun of orv fans for being upset i wanted to rip my hair out THE STORY IS FOR US kdj himself would be rolling in his grave at the disrespect for a webnovel fr
#asks#sry for the use of colors all of a sudden#wanted to make it easier to read#im normal about orv!!
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ppl talking abt how disliking rap is inherently antiblk due to rap culture being one of the biggest blk popculture influences and such is rlly interesting as a black person who doesnt like rap.
#mari real life posts#like i wouldnt go out of my way to listen to it#but unless im in a bad moof and alr overstimulated i wouldnt go out of my way to turn it off#there are songs ive heard where im like 'damn this slaps okayy' but i wouldnt like. seek them out. i have to be in the mood#i wonder what this says abt me oh noo....#(BTW I AM NOT SAYING THAT PPL SHOULD STOP SAYING THIS!! im just self reflecting rn)
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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ill allow myself one (maybe) hot take today. fiddleford would NOT want to help stan save ford i think. not from a resentment towards ford absolutely not i think hed feel devastated to hear he disappeared but i sincerely cannot imagine him helping open the portal when hes seen inside and knows exactly how dangerous it is. i cant even imagine him wanting to when he knows the potential consequences.
#this is my huge huge gripe w alot of aus that go along this fiddleford helping stan premise#its just not in line with both his mindset at the time and how he feels ab the portal#i think even the part of him that doesnt want to thinm about how sad ford falling in makes him would think like#he kind of dug himself into that by making it and not listening when he was told you need to stop#but i wont call myself a pro on fidds characterization. there's probably some fiddleford fan out there that could correct me LOL#but thats my thoughts. i think hw wouldnt do that#hes more morally complex then that#he strikes me as a 'for the greater good' type of person the same way ford is#at least generally cause there are exceptions for both of them in that mindset but overall#theyd both agree that stan shouldn't open the portal haha#sorry for the ramble. but this is my blog so im not sorry at all#txt post
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#polls#tumblr polls#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#believe it or not this isn't actually for like. me needing to know about hiatuses#this is just a sneaky way of finding out. something else#Danny Phantom#;)#on an unrelated note how do you feel about waiting somewhere between 2-9 months for a fic to continue on its original course?#it's probably closer to 2 if i actually do it#i mean the fic would still be updating but it would be. uh. spoiler alert cant say it'd just be 2~ months til the main storyline continues#i've been given the go ahead from someone who knows about it all but i need to know how people feel about rereading#it wouldnt be rereading but there would be an element of things repeating. it would seem to be repeating at first but isnt#oh my.... wait no.... i think i just realized where i got this idea from & it's killing me how i failed to see this sooner#literally listening to the soundtrack & watching all versions of it bro. i'm an ADHD stereotype#anyway the reason i want to know this is that. this part of the fic can be skipped. you dont NEED to read it#but you would need to wait for the rest of the fic to continue if you choose not to read it#it IS kinda important. it's just. A Lot#okay saying it's skippable but also important seems weird but trust me it's all in the name of beating this kid to the ground#''character development'' no. character deterioration#how can i make him better if he isn't super fucked up#he can't have a mental breakdown if he's happy. & i need him to have a mental breakdown#yeah im going the psychological torture route#also this isnt about timeloops btw. it might sound like it but it's not
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...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
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looking at some takes on characters or relationships or scenes in which things happen between them and just thinking,
How in the hell are people interpreting it this way??? But then i step back and realize that the story or character in question is fundamentally and extraordinarily different from the average person's life experience and I go,
ah,
you guys just... don't have a deep enough understanding of trauma responses...
#mine#vagueblogging again i guess but this applies to many things#its honestly okay that the general public doesn't grasp the deeper layers at play because tbh theyre not often explored in media#to that degree at least#ive known someone with deep. Deep. DEEP traumas#shit that no human should ever go through and sounds almost cartoonishly evil#and the truth is#healing from that is UGLY. the impact it has on how a person interacts with their life is unimaginable#and it often makes NO SENSE AT ALL to someone who hasn't experienced the same shit#it's not as simple as 'i'm sad or scared and i cry easily but if youre nice to me and love me it'll go away'#in my own experience of loving someone like that#you sometimes have to work at helping them rewrite their entire philosophies.#things you wouldnt even think of#sometimes expressing sadness or pain is the hardest part about it because they're so used to turning the other cheek to survive#sometimes theyre so used to being manipulated that they reject any kindness you offer in the most viscerally violent way#and it hurts!#communication is HARD!#receiving love is HARD!#i was listening to Raon Lee's cover of Kokoronashi#and thinking about how raw the emotions are in the lyrics#and how so many average joes out there wouldn't be able to make any sense of it but those who do get it really get it#(essentially like... 'i wish you would just get it overwith and tear me apart#bc it would hurt less than the confusion i feel at how you're kind to me and holding me and promising to never let go...#at least i know how to handle the pain of dying#this is so confusing and frightening what youre doing to me. i hate it i hate it but please... don't leave me alone')#(its such a gorgeous song)#sHIT AND THEN 2 SECONDS LATER I FIND KOHANA LAM'S COVER OF IT AND IT'S SO MUCH MOR E#for the love of god look up that song and turn on lyrics captions
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gotta say it's a little wild to me that the reading community has decided that audiobooks aren't "real reading" considering humanity has spent thousands of years with a oral storytelling tradition and only a couple hundred with a widespread literate tradition. before books became so cheap and affordable everyone could get their own copy, reading out loud to a group (your family, your friends) was extremely commonplace. humanity has shared stories orally since the dawn of storytelling. like stop being snobby about how people consume books but also if anyone should get to be snobs about what counts as "real reading" it's probably audiobook people.
#liveblogging life#im not personally like. a HUGE audiobook person.#mostly bc i struggle with any audio unless i have something To Do when listening to it#and also like i like being able to read at my own pace vs the pace of a narrator#but for some books? god this year i wouldnt have been able to get throu them without audiobooks#count of monte cristo has decimated me several times before but i go sooo into it as an audiobook#the attitude about them is SO snobby it drives me crazy lmao#me personally: every book counts as 'real reading' and yes im including the ones you dont think do btw#also thinking about the fact that so many classic books were likely read out loud in groups changes my thinking about them tbh#like yeah this book is WAY easier to deal with when shared and read out loud you're right
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( alt translation: lawl.ess! everything you've taught me turned to be spot on. just like advice from a big bro should be! if you care about your eves, you should protect 'em. let's get a li'l rough! )
i know i've posted these panels before but honestly rereading this entire arc has me absolutely rebawling over and over again. out of all the siblings in sv, il.dio and lawl.ess's dynamic will always be my fave. simply because lawl.ess took il.dio in from his rebirth into being a vampire and tried to teach him the right, stood up for him when the count was going to send him back to being someones pawn ( especially bc he was going to be goaded into a serv.amp / eve contract with him without ild.ios full understanding ), if only to lead them both in an understood shared grief they were unable to face or name. lawl.ess saw his words drive il.dio insane, but it's this moment that il.dio confirms that was never the case - it was his own inability to understand or put word to his grief that ended up in his own warped sense of freedom; a fact they both understand better than anyone around.
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#il.dio im so normal about you rn (i really am NOT)#i love his character so so so MUCH his inability and lack of understanding of his emotions#the way hes kept them to himself all these years. living just like a character in a game#eat - sleep - repeat#at the end of the day ... im glad his first eve wasnt that bloke and good on lawle.ss for sticking up and out for him#il.dios dynamic between him and lawl.ess vs him and a.sh are soooo interesting - it's the ideal vision of a brother as opposed to an actual#brother - which i wont go into detail rn bc theres a meta about this in the back of my head rn ( which goes into the ideals of the sv's and#just who sleepy ash was to them and i think it's going to be neat )#but at the end of the day. lawl.ess WILL always be his number one. thats his fave brother.#he wouldnt want to go crazy with anyone else. they will continue to inspire each other#reading this translation is honestly so funny everyone like. they go deep into the sv's being british so ive sat here listening to so many#british idioms uttered by lawl.ess rn. dude said jej.e had an ugly mug .... that he cant wait to beat the living crap out of him for#shooting his eve which. honestly. me too buddy but is a bit of an unexpected shock ...#ildi.os now here though. as brothers you can do it tg lawle.ss ... hes jej.es enemy ( was confirmed before this arc )#he has been waiting to be proved right!
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pondering the kirsch siblings orb yet again and you really cannot convince me that quinn would not have been moving like depression era bella in new moon from the moment she even FOUND OUT richie was moving to modesto...
#like bc LISTEN.#anyone with eyes can tell richie was clearly her everything 😭#and idt she was super young bc i hc he moved out about 1-2 yrs b4 the events of 5cream#and richie wouldve still been 23-24#but just given how close they were + how spoiled he was at home LMAO idt she wouldve Expected him to leave 'so soon'#read: EVER or at least before the twins graduated hs#so i think that news hit her like the final destination 2 log truck. like that HURT. DEVASTATED her even. esp given the distance bc-#i hc the kirsches as Wisconsin People (source: kinda sorta radio silence but also my besties knowledge of Wisconsin People)#so from wherever the hell wisconsin to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?! ik quinn was crying screaming throwing up like that was the worst day of her LIFE#up until then at least. like maybe she was onto smth bc nothing GOOD came of him moving there.#but yeah no i think she was absolutely moping about emo as hell feeling like a piece of her was literally missing.#bc and i think this goes wrt both of her brothers but since im kirschcest pilled yk theres an extra element there#quinn is very like family oriented in general and i think she doesnt know how to think of herself/what to do w herself if shes not like.#being their sister. best way i can put it thats not so convoluted but ykwim. like so it just does Not feel natural for her#for them to be apart & SO far away from each other. i think it wouldnt be nearly as big a deal if he moved out but stayed even just in stat#the only bright spot for her wouldve been 1) getting to visit and 2) getting the idea that she could just go out there for college#then yippee!! the whole gang is reunited!#bc obvi ethan is coming with. im ngl i do not even think she would ask or be like 'so i wanna move to cali to be close to richie hbu?'#i think she'd assume like well theyve been together their whole lives? why WOULDNT ethan go along?? 😭#and she's right except he is 100% agreeing bc he'd be with HER#but thats another post and or tag essay#ceci speaks#scream franchise#scream vi#kirsch siblings#richie kirsch#quinn bailey
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i know I must be pretty normal cause my last two and most significant long running relationships ended with one of us in the mental hospital + one of us in jail. respectively
#if the tables had been turned i would blame karma but i was the one who got screwed over first. also in my defense i had talked myself out#of killing myself but my ex didnt care and they forced me into the psych ward so they wouldnt have to deal with me#and not to seem so victimized but i didnt even call the cops on the second instance. i didnt even press charges. i didnt want anything to do#with any of it#i couldnt love my ex after they did what they did cause the psych ward and the hospitla were traumatizing for me it was a horrifying#dehumanizing experience and they didnt really care. and i wish things had gone the other way around because i love x so much and both times#i landed him in jail i didnt press charges and id never want to it wouldnt do anyone any good and it wouldnt teach him any lesson and like..#where is the line with me?#i left him but i do still love him. i dont think i could survive being with him and i do feel optimistic about my future sometimes without#him cause wow that was...heavy. but i dont understand....he really made me feel like shit once and i deliberately overdosed and he took me#to uc and he actually stood next to me and talked them out of taking me back to the psych ward because i freaked out so bad and he always#listened when i would tell him about how horrible it was.#and when he did that i thought it was a sign of how things were going to be different this time around. because he wouldnt do that to me.#well i guess i did it to him
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Anyway I gave Chappell roan a shot and I def don't hate it at all but I don't think it's for me personally, she does a lot of those yodel-y vocal flips that are really common in country music and those flips are like...one of the main things I don't like about country music lol
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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao#like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo#and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw#i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with#and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule#and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean#like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week#like#i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve#but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much#and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week#i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do#but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt#but im still IN the job hi t#*hunt#AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed#like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious#and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves#let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE#anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes#WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me#like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails
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why was my first 10k post political. help
#i sincerely doubt anyone who rbd it is gonna see this post but#if ur in the tags criticizing me for the sources i used or for spreading the news in a meme format I genuinely didnt think more than like#my general circle would see it. if smth was gonna blow up i thought itd be actual news posts yknow not my stupid thing#but also in my defense the sources i linked are like actual video of the icj im not and wouldnt use some random tweet as a source#like yes i agree there's better sources out there but again. did not expect anyone to see and as such care#also i got a LOT of asks overnight asking about gofundmes and id like to help but im not sure how to approach it#in terms of like. making sure ppl are legit. if i post it how best to format it. how do i get thru them all without spamming everyone's dash#so if my followers have any tips on that lemme know#also also also if you're being a hardcore doomer under that post youre annoying#not in a skeptical way ie 'but is israel actually going to listen' but in a 'who cares none of this matters everyone's going to die' way#i get its rough out here but acting like Not A Single Thing Could Ever Help is frankly practically zionist propaganda atp#i think thats all. i shoulda muted that post last night#juno.txt
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legitimately nothing will make you realise your therapist isnt helping you very much quite like having 2 terrible terrible days in a row (in a very predictable way) and being completely fucking stumped as to how to deal with yourself
#i HAVE a therapist. i should not be having to get my coping mechanisms from my friends who got them from their therapists#like this is half the reason i started going to therapy - so i wouldnt have to rely on my friends for help#because like... i KNOW it's not healthy#in my early/mid teens I was the therapist friend who everyone came to with their mental health problems and it affected me terribly#and the last straw that made me actually go no fuck I need to go to therapy I can't do this without professional help -#- was the realisation that *I* had become that friend. the one laying all their mental health problems on their friends#and it's not getting better. I am. still doing that. I still feel like it's my only option if I actually want to be heard and listened to#anyway there are very much REASONS I'm doing this bad right now it's not out of the blue. I'm working on them today#but still I need like. COPING MECHANISMS. ms. therapist Please.#I would not be doing the Things rn if i didn't Have a way to Deal With Myself and guess where that came from ? that's right NOT MY THERAPIS#not horse game#delete later#maybe
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”TIME IS A TOOL YOU CAN OUT ON THE WALL-“
AWWGHH DON'T TRY AND PUT ME IN THE SILLY HOUSE IF LULU ISN'T IN THERE I WON'T SURVIVE
#listen. i stand by that you can put me in tha silly house with anyone and I WILL get along with them and they WILL love me#my charisma and autistic charm is unmatched and unable to be contained my brainwaves are so powerful#hanging out with me over extended periods of time WILL change the way you think its why my baby sis is so fucked up#i'm like social radioactive material#HOWEVER#I WOULD PREFER TO BE STUCK IN THE SILLY HOUSE WITH LULU#bear would also be nice. am is. a choice i could go with or without. idk if they would kill me after a certain time irl#we would be 30 loops in and am will bash my head in with a rock ect ect ect we talked about higurashi again or smth ect ect#SODIE would also be nice. but if he messes with me i wouldnt be able to tell... so hmm..#BIF WOULD BE FUNNY TO BE IN THE HOUSE WITH I COULD SUPLEX HER#BUT LULU IS A MUST YOU CAN'T PUT ME IN THERE WITHOUT MY LIL GUY LULU#my postings#puppetsona
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