#bear would also be nice. am is. a choice i could go with or without. idk if they would kill me after a certain time irl

[dhmis-autism]

”TIME IS A TOOL YOU CAN OUT ON THE WALL-“

AWWGHH DON'T TRY AND PUT ME IN THE SILLY HOUSE IF LULU ISN'T IN THERE I WON'T SURVIVE

[onlyrains]

[11:34pm]

—t/w: angst, mention of death and alcohol

watching someone slowly lose themselves is probably the last thing you would ask for.

it's been an hour since you noticed jay was in the same room as you. knowing his true nature while watching him hitting on random girls at a bar like this makes your heart ache. this wasn't him at all.

having sudden mind reading power, you knew he was still grieving on his ex—who also your sister—unexpected death. because so were you. that's why you ended up at this bar alone on a weekday night.

from not too far away, you saw him gradually closing the gap between him and the poor girl. they were kissing mindlessly. she even held him so tight, without any sign of wanting to let go soon.

his messy slicked back hair was still as beautiful as ever. you always praised him for his looks and fashion choices since you used to see him around your house almost everyday. but tonight, seeing him with his collar sticking out, rolled up sleeve, and smirk plastered on his lips was really something. it was new to you.

you turned around and chugged your drink. you just realized losing someone could cause a huge impact like this.

a moment later, you overhear him, “can i call you her name?”

you turned. your heart almost sank then you see her palm going so fast to slap him with all her guts.

he froze before standing up. he nodded a few times as a sign that he understood the situation—without a significant change in his expression. “okay, okay.” he said, raising both hands.

so he walked in your direction.

you turned to face the bar, pretended to be busy ordering a new drink with the bartender.

“a whisky, please,” he ordered, taking a seat next to you. you held your breath when his perfume hit your nose, bringing back memories you didn't want to remember.

“hi?” he greeted, like nothing just happened to him a few seconds ago.

“hi?” you replied with the same tone.

“eh? you do really look like her.” his hazy eyes stared at you deeply. you watched him place his head on the bar.

he scoffed. “sorry, maybe it's the hallucination again.” he laughed, probably for expecting another slap.

but you laughed with him, for silently wanting to hug him while he didn't recognize you.

“you still refuse to believe we've lost her.” you mumbled, head bowed weakly so he didn't hear you.

“are you okay?” he asked.

you glanced, only to met his eagle eyes.

“i'm not.”

“ah, c'mon. let's have some fun then.” he stood up and offer his hand for you to take.

you looked up at him. “'m sorry?”

“dance with me.”

you bit your inner lip, contemplating the nice offer before finishing your newly-served drink. you thought you just need to be as drunk as him to do this.

“okay.” you held his rough hand to let him led you to the dance floor.

you were melted with the background music for a moment and let your body moved the way they want it. jay, on the other hand, busy to maintained his eyes at yours. his hand wandered around your back before finally took its place on your waist.

“aren't your head spinning?” oh, you used to ask your sister that question too. you held your sweated fist tightly.

he smiled. “a little.” he paused. “where did you know that?”

you frowned, feeling the palpitation in your chest. “uh?”

“the 'head spinning' question. how do you know?”

“is that something i supposed to know? it's just you look so wasted? i don't know, just wondering,”

he lets out a soft chuckle, “thank you. that's make me feel better,”

your knees almost lost its strength.

“do i know you?” he asked again.

“no, you don't.”

“but you do really sound like her.”

“am i?”

“…can i ask you something?”

you nodded hesitantly.

“can i call you her name?”

a single tear dropped from your eye.

“yes.”

you swore you never seen him with this wide smile before.

a/n: sorry if this too angsty. its inspired by a song <iykyk> and i barely awake when i wrote this so please bear with me ><

[alipeeps]

Episode 30

I think I'll have to skip doing gifs for these last few commentaries, or it'll take me days to get through them all... 😭

Oh dang, Zhou Yichen's words are weighing on Li Lun.

Zhu Yan gave Li Lun the Truth Eye?!! 😭

What I don't get about this show is that they act like these two have been enemies for centuries.... but we know from the timeline it's been 8 years! They fell out and Li Lun was sealed 8 years ago just before the blood moon where Zhu Yan lost control.

"How long has it been since we played Go so peacefully?"

"I don't remember anymore"

IT'S BEEN EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!! 😂

It never had to be this way Li Lun, you're the one who made this a zero sum game.

How are his eyes so big?

Yeah but of those two friends, Li Lun, only one is a) a mass murderer, and b) actively choosing to possess and kill the other. When it comes down to a choice of who gets to inhabit one body - the original owner of the body, who is a literal child, has far greater rights to it than the one who stole the body and has killed lots of people.

The thing is... this is lovely and dramatic and all... but it's so unnecessary. All y'all idiots had to do was what I suggested at the end of episode 29 - tie that fucker up until Zhuo Yichen gets back with the sword and then sever his primordial spirit and free Xiao Bai. Why let Li Lun loose to start a fight that risks losing the opportunity to save Bai Jiu?

Also, can we please bear in mind that only recently Zhao Yuanzhou had his inner core damaged and a lot of his demon power consumed... and was warned it would not be a quick recovery.

Ah fuck... and Li Lun knows it. Wait up tho.. he's lost ALL his demon power? And is no different from a human? Is that true? And will he get it back?

Oh nice! Your opponent... is me!

But AGAIN... this is so fucking unnecessary! I mean yeah, badass fight scene and all... but you could have fucking resolved all this safely while Li Lun was unconscious.

Give it up for baby bro!!

Wait did baby bro like.. DIE, die? He's a puppet infused with Pei Siheng's spirit... I didn't think he could die?

Ahhh fuuuck and Wen Xiao is using the baize power (though without the token, it seems?) which could exacerbate her poisoning...

Zhuo Yichen would you please just fucking do whatever it is you need to do to remove Li Lun's primordial spirit, while he is fucking restrained!! Please! You're killing me here!

Great. So Wen Xiao injured herself for nothing because you didn't take advantage of the opportunity offered.

YING LEI!! NOOOOOOOO!!!

Well, this is going fucking great. 4 out of 5 of the team are now incapacitated in some way.

Don't you fucking do it. Don't do it. Not Ying Lei. Please...

Don't die don't die don't die don't die

JFC Bai Jiu will never recover if his body is used to kill Ying Lei...

Oh fuck he's crying... is... is Bai Jiu fighting back?!

DOITDOITDOITDOITDOITPLEASEFUCKINGSAVEHIM

Here you go, stick him in this piece of wood. 😂

Oh fuck not just any piece of wood... the root of Li Lun's pagoda tree... given to Zhu Yan centuries ago... 😭

So that was what Zhao Yuanzhou meant by a draw... a chance for Li Lun still to live. You didn't even give him chance to explain what he was offering Li Lun...

OH FUCK there was more to that "Promise me" that Zhou Yichen agreed to!!

Ying Lei won't let go of him. My heart!!

Oh don't you fucking have Ying Lei die on me now??!!

I don't like this close up of his face with a blurry lens. Don't fucking do this to me...

It was. You're best boy, Ying Lei. You always have been.

I hate this. Please don't let him die.

How can a half-god, half-demon mountain god die from such wounds?

How dare you fucking finally give him the validation he has always been seeking - and always deserved - only as he's dying?

This is killing me. He didn't need to die. And they are dragging it out soooo long. 😭😭😭😭😭

You bastards. You fucking bastards. I am NOT ok.

Xiao Jiu. Come back to us baby boy.

He's going to be devastated about YIng Lei. 😭😭

Oh dang, he wakes up and the first person he sees is his mum!!

I am actually genuinely fucking crying.

So has he lost his demonic power permanently?

So... there's 4.5 eps left to go. Wen Zongyu is dead. Li Lun is defeated. Bai Jiu is rescued.

What's going to be the plot for the next 4 episodes? It can't all be about Wen Xiao's poisoning...

Is shit about to go down with Chongwu camp/the results of Wen Zongyu's demon hybrid experiments?

Why is this show so determined to rip my heart out and stomp on it?

Zhuo Yichen is best big bro

My precious baby mountain god... 😭😭😭

Your girlfriend still needs you, Sijing. The polycule still needs you.

What the fuck was he going to say?!!

After this? After WHAT?!!

Why the fuck is he talking like he might no longer be around to protect Bai Jiu?

This has to have been a hell of a trip for Bai Jiu... he wakes up from being possessed by Li Lun to find:

Mum's back Ying Lei's dead Zhuo daren's a demon

THAT'S A VERY GOOD FUCKING QUESTION, BAI JIU!!!

Why the fuck does it feel like he is saying goodbye?! Is he... is he planning to absorb the poison from Wen Xiao?!!

(Shit. I guess there's no longer an option for Zhao Yuanzhou to do that cos his demon power is gone...)

Fuck me, that is exactly what he's planning, isn't it?

Oh and is Zhao Yuanzhou planning the same? (Sorry, demon daddy, Xiao Zhuo Daren already knows that's the only option).

Are they going to be fighting over who gets to sacrifice themselves to save her?

You're damn right she wouldn't let you.

FUUUUUUCK. This episode destroyed me. I am an emotional wreck.

[thegamingcatmom]

Hello <3 Listen I've started playing re8 and i've had my first encounter with the Dimitrescu family and I am here wondering why the hell didn't I play this sooner so I could obsess over this even sooner, but oh well. So I know you're cooking up a story where they meet the Denalis and I was like walking through the castle and my mind started asking questions. So ofc I imagine you don't wanna give away details of your story because then you wouldn't be able to tease us with lil spoilers and where's the fun in that, right? ;P So instead lemme write down what came to my mind and ask your opinion on that, let's dive into my delulu-land vision XD Tbh is nothing like super elaborated bc you know just rnadom throughts that came to mind so bear with me bc it probably makes 0 sense ok? SO it made me think like in a more kind of "modern" set up, where the Denalis are already vegetarians, they've lived a veeery long life, yk kind of like things are in the Twilight movies/books. In my mind it was like for X reason they were moving from Denali to another place to live, be because the Volturi, bc they had been exposed and therefore they need to gtfo before shit hits the fan (I blame the drones if that's the reason tho) IDK it could be literally any reason, it is unimportant. They somehow end up finding the castle, they meet this vampires who are like super different from them (In my mind I think is cool they can eat human food and sleep and shit eve n though perhaps they don't need it so I'd probs keep that for all vamps in any possible story but that's out of the question XD) and they ofc live very differently from them, the castle ofc doesn't mantain itself, so they have ppl working there for them and they probs dispose of them as soon as they stop being useful, they drink human blood, they make a game out of their hunts and seem to enjoy the pain they inflict before actually drinking the blood. Meanwhile the Denalis started drinking animal blood to stop killing the humans they slept with (With other reasons in the mix too but in the end it was to rpeserve human life) and they've lived away from humans, living in secret and all that shit, like is two complete different worlds they live in. Now all that to make this questions: Say Lady D offered them a place to stay in the castle for reasons unknown bc I hadn't actually thought about it tbh, I don't think she'd mind if they kept their boring vegetarian lifestyle, but they have a choice now to keep it or instead go back to human blood, which honestly seems more tasty and the better option, do you think they'd take it? Would they agree and stay in the castle? Would they leave? Idk f there would be any consequences if they decide to leave though, and in case of staying what about the coven itself? I mean Tanya's the leader, but it matters little I think her title in the castle bc I am not sure if Lady D gives a duck about it honestly, it's her castle after all(?) And final question I promise: How do you think they would adapt to this "new life" in the case they accept Lady D's offer of staying? You think someone might have more of a hard time with it? Will they talk/argue about it among themselves? Consider their options? I have a feeling that Tanya would not take any offer without speaking first to her coven, they are family after all and whatever they do will affect all of them, so yeah. Also this probably makes no sense as I stated before, it was a bunch of random thoughts that I poorly put together so yk don't feel like you gotta answer to all that nonsense XD And I still have not finished the game, just barely started it so idk, perhaps I'm missing some important lore, or something is inadequate, anyway thanks for reading my delulu-bible and for recommending me to go play the game <3 <3 Have a nice day :D

...Oh?

We´re simping for both camps now?

I love how, after having only just reached their section (apparently), this is the result. As in: The Dimis got their sickles hooked in you alright, LMAO.

Can´t say I´m surprised. *cough cough*

Like-

(Simping starts in 3...2...1...)

This was ALL of us when the game was only just coming out and Lady D was revealed in the Maiden Demo. It was madness, lemme tell you. The memes, the art, the fics my god-

The fics were smt else. And they just kept coming. They still do. Lady D destroyed the internet like no other video game character before. People kept dying in game just so they could stick around Castle Dimitrescu for a bit longer (preferably forever).

Like, this was the majority of ppl playing the game:

Lady D: *begins stalking you*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *stalks closer*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *unsheathes her claws*

Ethan (you): *dreamy smile*

Lady D: *takes one giant swipe at you that nearly beheads you*

Ethan (you), barely alive: "...F-Fancy stepping on me too?"

.

It was truly a time to be alive.

(You should check out some reactions to Lady D on Youtube, especially Markiplier. 💀)

I mean, LISTEN-

I dunno what Capcom was trying to accomplish with The Dimitrescus (they knew exactly what they were doing), but being stalked and hunted down by feral goth ladies and their equally as feral Momma because they thirst for your blood (and hopefully mayhaps other things) is pretty much a dream come true for most ppl. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Capcom, were you even trying? Honestly.

.

Okay anyhow-

I love your thoughts on this. Especially because it´s a lot more serious than what I originally came up with, lmao. Like, this thing I got cooking rn is pretty much a total crack fic (for now). Yknow, stuff like portals and time travel and whatnot seems entirely possible there, but I haven´t reached that part yet (the explaining part), so it´s still rather unclear how they got to the castle.

Like, it never occured to me that the Denalis might just find the "real" village in Romania (which is where the game is set). But now that I´m reading your thoughts on it, this seems pretty plausible to me. Defo something I can see happening. With that said:

Lemme start by giving some canon info (which hopefully won´t spoil anything for you):

the Dimis aren´t actual vampires

they are what they are because of a parasite aka The Cadou

they need to sustain themselves on human flesh and blood because of it (for survival & to maintain their powers)

Lady D will grow to the point she mutates out of control if she doesn´t (I´ve read that somewhere)

the Daughters are made entirely of flies

those flies will die if exposed to the cold (yet another thing that´s entirely different from Twilight vampires, who can only be fully destroyed through fire)

Lady D has no such "weakness"

the pain they inflict upon their victims is not necessary for feeding

they just enjoy being cruel

they turn their staff into wine at some point

or use them for experiments ("Moroaicǎ")

With all of that said: I totally agree that it´s a clash of two entirely different worlds. But that´s what makes it so interesting.

I also kinda HC that The Dimis see vampires as some kind of role models? In a way? Like, they clearly enjoy this lifestyle (a bit too much), so I feel like meeting some actual vampires - the real deal - would be like meeting a popstar or smt. At least to the daughters. (Dani would swoon.)

Lady D would be a lot more skeptical about it ofc, but there´s no way she would be able to hide her curiosity. I mean, how many beings pose an actual threat to them? Not that many. Which means Lady D would be quite hostile at first. She got her daughters to think of as well, after all. There would be the usual threats of "slice you to ribbons" and such, until she realizes-

There are no ribbons. And there won´t be. Because her claws are actually kinda useless against them.

As are the flies the daughters are made of. There´s no piercing that skin.

That´s never happened before.

That´s when it dawns on them that whatever they´re up against isn´t entirely human. The fact they (the Denalis) lack a heartbeat or the usual warmth is kinda telling as well.

In fact, the Daughters don´t enjoy being near them at all. They´re so cold!

But, you see-

The Daughters might keep their distance (for now).

But Lady D is more than intrigued at this point.

Listen, that woman is a sucker for power. That´s why she´s got the hots for Mother Miranda (MM), after all.

Well that, and because MM is fine af, obv.

(I don´t blame you, Alci.)

Anyway-

If she saw the Denalis wielding their vampiric powers and, yknow, posing an actual challenge for her in terms of brute strength because it´s not every day she meets someone who´s actually able to lift her- (can you imagine?)

Ofc she´s gonna want to get to the bottom of it all. Because she´s also a bit of a nerd, you see. Just like Momma. (They both fine af.) She´s gonna want to study them, write down every little detail in that notebook of hers.

Kate´s power is gonna fill page upon page as Lady D goes completely mad scribbling it all down like-

With that said:

Yes, I defo think Lady D would demand invite them to stay. She´s nothing if not a gracious hostess to those she deems worthy.

.

As for the Denalis-

Tanya would never make decisions without discussing it with her coven first. Not those that could be life-altering, at least. They'd only stay if everyone agreed to it. And, even then, I'm not sure it would be a permanent stay. I mean-

It's difficult.

I'd say it depends "which" Denalis we're talking. If we take the more deranged ones from my story (The Sisters) then I can defo see them agreeing to a permanent stay in the castle. Human life means next to nothing to them, aside from being their food source ofc. And while they might not agree with everything that's happening in the castle (some of the things going down in the cellar are...tough, even for them), they'd never judge the Dimis for their lifestyle, seeing how they're far from being saints themselves. One as corrupted as the other, I´d say.

If we take the veggie/modern Denalis, on the other hand-

I mean, the sisters killed ppl before. Loads of them probs. Therefore, the Dimis sustaining themselves on human blood and flesh isn't as appalling to them as it would be to your usual human. But it's how they do it (torturing their victims and basically getting the most out of it before they deliver the final blow) that makes them feel...conflicted. Most of their kind (as in: actual vampires) usually don´t draw it out longer than necessary. Mainly because they´ll succumb to their bloodlust almost immediately, sucking their victim dry in a matter of seconds. That (thankfully) doesn´t leave much room for any kind of torture.

With that said-

It´s still difficult, lmao.

I feel like our modern Denalis would defo be intrigued by the Dimitrescus. Then they´d be appalled. Then Lady D comes in with all that charm of hers, laying it on real thick yknow, basically downplaying the things that are happening in that castle full of blood and death. Then the daughters come in with their buzzing personalities. Then the Denalis would be intrigued again. And so on-

And before you know it, years have passed.

That´s the only way I can see our modern Denalis stay in that castle over an extended time period. Cause time works just differently for vampires, yknow. Years are like seconds to them. All one and the same. Doesn´t really matter. Not when you got eternity anyway.

.

Now, that was pretty much me rambling and fangirling without any kind of order, lol. So lemme try and give some more direct answers:

Would the Denalis switch to human blood during that time?

I think that´s entirely possible. That castle is pretty much filled with human blood - it´s everywhere: In the cellar, in the kitchen, in the storage rooms, in the wine glasses, etc. It lurks around every corner, constantly putting our sisters to the test. It´s like waving a piece (more like a bar) of chocolate in front of someone who´s been living on dry toast. Resisting becomes almost impossible under such conditions.

And the Dimis know that.

Am I suggesting that Lady D and her unruly daughters might try and seduce the Denalis back to human blood by deliberately leaving it out in the open, ripe for the taking?

Why yes, yes I am. That´s totally something the Dimis would do in order to gain numbers (and other things).

Would there be any consequences if the Denalis decided to leave?

As I said before, the Denalis pose an actual threat/challenge to Lady D. Neither her nor her daughters could do much to stop them from leaving, if they decided to do so. Doesn´t mean they wouldn´t try though. Lady D is a narcissist and rejection isn´t something she handles well. Her daughters share that sentiment.

"So you don´t love me?!"

Yup. That´s totally smt Dani would say in that situation. The poor baby.

Anyhow-

The Dimis would probs try to stop them because rolling over just isn´t in their nature. But I´d like to think one of the following things would happen then:

A) The Denalis use their vampiric charm to convince the Dimis to let them go without a fight.

B) Lady D puts a stop to things herself once she realizes the only ones to get hurt during this would be her daughters and herself. (She´d never admit that openly ofc.)

To sum it up:

Even if there were consequences, it´s highly unlikely the Denalis would be affected by them.

Would the Denalis adapt well to their new life? Would they struggle at all?

I think my fangirling pretty much answered that, lmao.

Unhinged Denalis: No problem with adapting. (More like they cba as long as they get their fill.)

Normal (modern) Denalis: Depends on the Dimis´ efforts I´d say. There´d defo be times of struggle and self-doubt. But then there´d also be times of "yknow what, why tf not". It´s a constant back and forth and it really depends on how well the Dimitrescus play their cards.

As for who might struggle the most:

Lemme start by saying Kate would struggle the least. I mean, the struggle would still be there, but she´s never been one to back down from a challenge. She´s also not one to shy away from the unknown - on the contrary: Out of the three of them, Kate is probs the one most likely to go "only one way to find out", YKNOW?? No risk, no fun, and all that. That´s why Cass and her get along so well. Whenever the two of them are together, the whole castle holds its breath.

Tanya would probs feel quite torn because, above all else, she has a duty to fulfill: ensuring the best possible outcome for her coven. So there´d be this constant nagging, telling her that all of this is kinda wrong and that, just mayhaps, it´d be better to haul ass. But then there´s time where she´s actually enjoying herself when she´s having "wine" with Bela, giving each other some advice on how to best handle their younger sibllings and such. That nagging fades for a while then. Until it´s back. But so is Bela. And that nagging fades again. And so on.

Irina would spend most of her time with Dani probs, gushing about finding true love and such. She sees a lot of herself in the youngest Dimitrescu daughter, albeit a lot more...unhinged, lol. They get each other, as crazy as it sounds. It also really helps taking her mind off things, makes her forget what´s going on in that castle. For a while, at least. Until the doubts start creeping back in. Dani notices though, she always does. And she´s always there to manipulate cheer her bestest friend up.

.

.

.

I hope I´ve managed to cover everything. Tbh, that was just me rambling most of the time, hoping it all would make sense along the way, lmao.

...Come to think of it, that´s pretty much my writing style. 💀

Thanks a lot for your ask! I really, really enjoyed that mashup. 🥰💋

Have a great day as well! ❤️

[ladyniniane]

"Further, and this goes without saying – A Song of Ice and Fire is not real. Not Westeros. Not the Summer Islands. Not the Great Grass Sea, and definitely not the dragons. Now I like the little nods to medieval stuff in the world probably more than the next person. I find it cute and also nice. But the thing is, in a world where magic is real you are making choices. You don’t have to show sexual assault all the time because you are somehow bearing accurate witness to the medieval past. It is simply not necessary. You can choose not to show it just like you choose not to show accurate medieval things like crop rotation, or the discovery of the three-field system. It is a choice.

If what you want is a way explain why you have a bunch of sexual assault in your dragon show I have a fig leaf for you right here – you could just say that it is an accurate reflection of a patriarchal society because well, yeah. Sexual assault is absolutely endemic in our society right now. This show is a part of that society. While it is taking place in an imaginary world, it, like most good art* is reflecting our own world back to us and asking us questions about what that means. This world has sexual assault just like the real world does. It is unfortunate but true.

All of which brings me to my final point – you could just like have some courage and say you put it in because you, too, are steeped up to your eyeballs in patriarchy and just didn’t really interrogate why you did it. You just did, because it is really hard for us to critique the culture that we are in. We are inured to it. Patriarchy and sexual assault is the air we breathe, and if people aren’t very very careful their art will reflect that without critiquing it. I would argue that this is what happened here, and there is a lot of furious back peddling to explain why.

I don’t think all art needs to be comfortable. I am fine with challenges and I also think there is something to be said here about how we specifically get upset about seeing sexual violence in a show that is absolutely rife with physical violence that largely goes unmentioned. What I do think is an issue is using incredibly bad history to make up for your own shortcomings as an artist. Either stand by what you did or don’t. But don’t blame it on medieval people when we are just as bad.

*I am not saying this is good art"

[fallout4-reacts]

How about the fo4 companions (including DLC companions) reacting to a S.S. who was an Ex-Paladin for the BOS and had killed their team after being ordered to kill a synth child and went AWOL, taking the child under their care as a backstory?

I didn't do Ada or Longfellow because I didn't get to know them very well. We can imagine Ada didn't really give a shit and Longfellow just accepted it. He is old, he has wisdom... and he is probably drunk (for all I know of him)

Cait : "Bad-ass! I couldn't do better myself, kids not kids. But I take it's a warnin'. Dinnae violate yer morality by...not touchin' a child?"

Codsworth : "So this is what you were doing the entire time you were missing?"

"Yes. I was on the Capital side. I was completely disoriented after what happened to Nate/Nora. I had no idea what to do. And I couldn't bear seeing all I knew... altered in that way. I continued walking towards the capital without pausing. I couldn't find anything better on the road, so I decided to join the BoS. Seek out a place to live and some semblance of civilization. But they're all monsters in the end."

"Except for Danse..."

Sole tries to hide their smile, but they shake their heads and return to their solemnity.

"However, the reason I'm talking to you today is that my responsibilities as a General are taking up more and more of my time. I frequently put myself in dangerous situations. Also, the closer I go to the Institute, the more scared I am of never returning. I would not want my other child to be abandoned or without means."

"Do you still have him with you?"

"I hid him close to Sanctuary. I try to see him as much as possible, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. He requires a healthy environment, and Sanctuary has transformed into a haven of peace and tolerance..."

"Don't say anything else! I'd be delighted to look after this little one while you're away! We will always be at home to greet you back."

Sole expected nothing less from their butler, but seeing his joy warms their heart. The child does require a stable environment. Besides, having a location to return to and be welcomed back would be great for them.

Curie : "How dreadful. Betraying your vows by having to kill all of these individuals. Please be sure that I understand. But betraying a vow must be horrifying."

Sole sighs. Curie is only familiar with Hippocrates' oath. They are well aware that the synth cannot consider betraying it. But they appreciate how she handled the story. After all, these murders and betrayals have been weighing on them for a long time, and it feels nice to finally have someone to talk to.

Danse (Post BB) : "This story was told from time to time in the dorms. But I never imagined it was true, and I never suspected for a second that it was you. I now have a better understanding of your situation. But how is it that Maxson has never had a doubt? And why are you back?"

"It was another era, another time. They had not yet performed ADN testing, so how could they have known? And I needed the BoS to get into the Institute. But if you want a completely honest response, they are simply incredibly stupid."

"I recognize it now."

Deacon (romanced) : There were always moments. Sole vanished from his radar for a few days, then reappeared. They were impossible to trace. He now understands. Sole would never have allowed them to be followed in order to expose the location of this synth child's hiding place. And Deacon has more admiration than ever for this person to whom he has now dedicated his life.

Dogmeat : Love the child. Everything else is nonsense. It's a dog. He simply loves the child... and guards him like a mother wolf.

Elder Maxson (romanced) : Cade is formal. The soldier is the same. But how could it have taken him so long to identify them? How could his officer be so careless? He's not sure how to react now. To set an example, he must surely execute Sole immediately. But can he truly? He doesn't have a choice. As soon as Sole returns to the ship, he will arrest them and hand them over to a firing squad.

He doesn't have a choice...

But what if...

He makes an effort to think. He attempts to figure out who on his team could handle such a delicate mission for him. Then he finds out. Heylan, the scribe, came naturally in his mind. He is aware that she covered Danse. He had been aware of it, yet he accepted it since he himself was hesitant. Because a large part of him was hoping for a loophole in this tricky situation. Because he cared so much about Danse. And now, once again, a dossier in which his emotions and his responsibilities collide. Is this bad luck? When the scribe enters his quarters, he requests that she close the door behind her.

"This discussion never happened, and if you mention it, I will deny everything and you will face justice."

Haylen had not anticipated such a welcome. She was already worried about appearing before the Elder, her nerves had now reached new heights. But she nodded, waiting for what the leader of her organisation intended to do.

"You will return to the ground and follow Sole's trail, trying to find their allies and visiting their colonies. You must deliver a message from me: "I know, never come back."

Haylen cocks her head to the side, unsure, but she nods once more.

"Good, sir."

"Be really discreet. If you do not send this message before Sole returns to the airport, I will be forced to execute them. Do you realise the significance of what I'm asking?"

"Sir, yes. I completely understood."

"Danse trusted you, Sole trusted you, and so do I. Don't betray that trust."

"Never, sir."

And now all Maxson has to do is wait and hope. He did everything in his power. May fate now look after Sole.

Hancock : "Killing BoS? Help a child? And you were unwilling to brag about it?"

Sole frowns and shakes their head.

"There's more to it than that. I deserted my companions; I betrayed those who had placed their trust in me. They were under my command, and—

"You put your duties as they must be. This ends the debate. Is he all right, the kid?"

"Yes, yes, yes. He lives not far away. I hid him in... well, I hid him. I try to see him as frequently as possible."

Hancock's keen stare falls on them, becoming somber.

"Are you too afraid to tell me where he is?"

His friend, embarrassed, lowers their head.

"Understand! I… For so long, I've lived as a renegade, and I've kept our path hidden. It's difficult to put faith in anyone on this subject."

With a slight smile on his face, the mayor shakes his head.

"You've just pointed out your betrayal, your massacer, and its existence to me. It's odd that you paused right before asking me to send Fahrenheit to babysit."

"Pardon?" Sole and the bodyguard inquire.

"Yes, keeping him secure. So many sacrifices, why not give him a life worth saving?"

"Not in Goodneighbourhood! Never!"

"So what? Isn't this the town of outcasts and fugitives?"

Sole mulls on what Hancock has just said, but they sighs deeply.

"No. This is not the kind of life I want for him."

"So it's better to hide him?"

"I'm not sure, but your girlfriend doesn't appear to agree with your plans."

"Fah is my daughter, not my girlfriend."

Sole's eyes widen in disbelief. Hancock busts out laughing.

"A secret for a secret. Where do you plan on putting down roots, for the kid? I mean, seriously."

Gage : "What on earth does that have to do with conquering the Commonwealth?"

Sole grimace. That was something they should have expected. Gage is unconcerned about his last sock. The past is the past, the raiders are not children of the heart, and Gage's objectives are more essential than humans leaving by the side of the road. Sole does not and will never insist. But one day, like this, Gage returns to them, perplexed.

"You know, boss, I've been thinking about something. You betrayed your old patrol for a child who isn't even human. There may be children present when we invade the Commonwealth colonies. Are you sure you're not going to do it backwards?"

Sole's eyes widen in amazement. Then they softly shake their head and smile.

"No way, Gage, never."

But after that, their lieutenant was shot in the head the moment he turned his back.

MacCready : "Killing BoS and protecting a child synth. Yeah. You like risks, it’s twisted, but who am I to judge?"

He sighs and shrugs.

"Say, regarding the events in Vault 81... I hope you don't hold my view in the same regard, and that you're not planning to gut me in my sleep."

"Did you request that this child die? You were upset that I saved him, but you didn't ask for his death. That's not the same."

"No, I didn't... I didn't mind that you saved him! I'm disappointed that you didn't save yourself for whatever reason!"

MacCready is suddenly interested in his weapon, which he disassembles to lubricate the mechanism.

"However, I am not surprised. In fact, an imbecile capable of giving up healthcare in favor of a child's life may well debunk BoS without guilt in order to rescue one."

"It was my team..."

"That was the motto. The past is gone. Winlock and Barnes were both killed by me. You heard me; I don't pass judgement."

Nick Valentine (romanced) : He had a good time that evening. Conversations about the past, Sole in his arms, starry sky over their heads. But, for once, Sole didn't bring up the pre-war topic. They described this horrific event from their recent history nervously, almost fearfully.

"And the kid, what's he become?" The detective inquires flatly.

"Always safe and hidden. I try to pay him visits every few days. But I'm always worried that he'll be discovered."

Sole looks up to Nick, and he sees their anxiety. He strokes their cheek gently.

"Your secret is safe with me. I will never betray you. In the meanwhile, we'll consider where we can best place the child. Perhaps one of your settlements. I suppose he could be quiet at Sanctuary, and you could stop constantly glancing over your shoulder."

Sole's eyes are now bright with joy. They had already considered it, but because this secret had always been closely guarded, they frequently pondered if it was a poor idea without anybody else talking about it. The fact that Nick agrees with them gives them comfort. Yes, perhaps it's time for this poor child to resume his normal existence. And now that they're thinking about it, they're certain that Sanctuary would be the ideal location.

Piper : "Wow! What a tale! I'm not supporting genocide, but these Brotherhoods are viciously slaughtering anything that isn't like them."

"It was not a genocide."

"A slaughter? Don't try and tell me it wasn't a slaughter."

"Do you intend to write an article about this?"

"No! Absolutely not! I'm not stupid enough to put you and the boy in danger, and it could eventually lead to an open war with the Brotherhoods to expose to them that the Commonwealth Minutemen General is a former traitor to their organisation."

Sole gently shakes their head, a small smile on their lips. Piper's intelligence should never be underestimated. She comprehends things better than anybody else, and they were right to put their trust in her.

Preston : "But really, you had to kill these men back then?"

Sole sadly shakes their head.

"They refused to listen to reason. They'd track me down and kill me. I was his single chance to living a free and happy life. I had no choice."

The Colonel nodded slowly, his gaze fixed on the Prydwen.

"I see what you're saying. And I completely understand your distress at seeing this ship. Okay, if diplomatic visits are necessary, I will make them. Meanwhile, return this sad child to Sanctuary so he can have a decent home. It's a disgrace to keep him among the ruins, fearful, when we can give him a better future."

Sole can't keep a smile from appearing on their lips. They were completely right in telling Preston of everything.

Strong : “Boring. No need so much words. Protecting child. Good. Strong strong. Strong will protect child of human.”

Sole smiled slightly. It felt good to talk about it. And as usual, Strong’s simplistic philosophy reinforced their convictions. And now they have one more ally to protect their child.

X6-88 : Sole is sad now. They have since developed a trusting relationship with the Courser. They had placed their trust in his friendship. They assumed that X6 had progressed past certain phases of the Institute. That he had changed. So, they confided in him about everything. Their companion's reply did not take long. He demanded that Sole hand over the infant to the Institute. There have been relatively few synth children created, and they are extremely valuable for research advancement. Sole refused, as they had before refused to follow X6 in some "homework," but the Courser did not sweep the subject with the back of his hand this time. He made a threat against Sole. He threatened them, and everything about his demeanour indicated that he was serious. He stated thoroughly that it was the final straw. If Sole continued to refuse to behave in the Institute's best interests, they would be judged to have chosen to be an enemy. When Sole refused to cooperate, X6 opened fire, claiming that he didn't need Sole to find the child but couldn't afford to have them in his way. Sole is sad since they have to kill someone they thought a friend.

[highlordofkrypton]

the lighthouse // an aquafam au - chapter 9 update

Read on AO3.

Summary: Atlanna runs away from Atlantis with baby Orm and raises him on the surface with Tom Curry and Arthur.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: BABY ORM!!! BABY ORM!!! 😭 Please also check the end notes on AO3!

Chapter 9 - baby steps

“The Waynes are good people.”

Atlanna runs her hands beneath the water. Her husband’s voice is faint in the background of the rushing tap. The cool liquid soothes her thoughts and eases her mind—it helps that the strangers are gone and they are alone again. She cups the water, staring at it and pouring it across her forearms, as if trying to bathe in it rather than do the dishes. She coats her skin in hopes of protecting herself from the sting of soap—of the chemicals she is inevitably putting back into the system which will probably end up in her seas. The surface is brutal; it forces her to make painful choices. The water feels too nice to use gloves.

“You did not tell me you were familiar with them, nor did you inform me that they were visiting,” she says mechanically, picking up the first dish.

“I don’t know them personally, but they’re an influential family in America. They use their power for good. That kind of thing.” Tom leans against the counter, towel tossed lazily over a shoulder as he waits for dishes to dry. 

“There is no such thing as powerful people who are good,” Atlanna points out without missing a beat.

“Says the Queen of Atlantis.” Tom scooches closer, bumping his hip against hers. “You have power and you’re good.”

“That is a common misconception. My father had power and now, my husband has power. I am simply,” she pauses, trying to find the right word. “Incidental.” 

She is too smart to pretend otherwise. Kings prefer sons—it means that the throne will remain within the lineage. Through Orm, the House of Atlan has transferred its power to the House of Marius. Arthur could return her House to its former glory, despite bearing the name of Curry, but she would never ask it of her son. ‘Atlantis would sooner crumble than kneel to a surface king’ is what Orm had told her.

She does accept Tom’s peck on her cheek, his attempt to comfort her. Just because she is aware of what she is does not mean that she is particularly sad about it. Atlanna has made her choices and she is happy with them.

“The Waynes are exceptional people, then. Arthur will be going to school soon. Why not send him where he won’t be so different, after all? It might be better. He might even have access to resources he wouldn’t normally have because the Waynes know that he’s not entirely human.”

“I don’t see what they can provide that I cannot for my own children. If they require something, I will procure it.” It is as simple as that. She does not need Atlantis’ resources or her family’s influence to be a good mother. 

“That’s not what I meant. I’m saying we don’t have to do this alone and the kids will have to leave home one day. We can’t keep them hidden forever.” Yes, they’ve succeeded in keeping the world out for now, but that won’t last. It shouldn’t last, is Tom's opinion. He’s never hidden Arthur, and he’s only started keeping him at the lighthouse when Atlanna returned, but there’s a whole community that cares for them. Grandmothers, first, second and third cousins who miss their company dearly. Tom has done his best to ease Atlanna into it, but their safe haven is opening up faster than he can manage.

The truth is, he doesn’t know how to help her through her trauma, but he knows good people who can.

“We must. If we do not, then my husband will find them. He will take Orm and I cannot account for what he will do to Arthur. He will most definitely kill us.” She hands him a plate with the same ease as if she was talking about the weather. 

“We have to let them live, Lana. We can’t keep them captive here. They’ll be curious about the world, too. We have to find ways to make it work.” Tom frowns, speaking to her softly. He remembers an Atlanna that was brave, daring and flirtatious. He remembers every dream she had for Arthur—the ones she asked Tom to help achieve. He doesn’t expect her to be the same woman, but he has never known her to be so… afraid. His heart aches on her behalf. “Just think about it.”

Atlanna says nothing, rooted in her thoughts.

“Dad!” Arthur shouts from the other room.

“Yeah?”

“Come quickly!”

“In a second.”

Tom just wants to finish his conversation with Atlanna. More often than not, when Arthur needs immediate attention, it’s for the randomest reasons. When Arthur actually does need help, the boy magically becomes self-sufficient, like the one time he fell off a monkey bar in the park, scraped his knee and just rubbed grass in the wound. 

***

What do I do?

Arthur blinks at his brother.

Orm holds onto the cushion of the couch, pulling himself to his feet and standing on wobbly legs. He’s an expert at getting up, but he rarely does more than bounce excitedly to the sound of Arthur’s voice. Today feels different. He gets a little determined furrow in his brow as he stares at his big brother.

He’s going to walk. Arthur is sure of it.

He’s also very sure that his parents would want to be here for this. They’ve always shared Orm’s firsts between themselves, a precious gift in their family. He watches as Orm looks at the space between them, then at Arthur’s face.

“Dad!” He yells, urgently.

“Yeah?”

“Come quickly!” 

“In a second.”

Which means that his dad isn’t going to be here fast enough. 

“Don’t do it,” he says to Orm frantically, but Orm only understands half the thing he says. Either the little fry is too stubborn to listen to Arthur, or it's a language barrier because Orm speaks bubbles. “Wait until mom and dad get here please.”

But that little foot is lifting and—and Arthur doesn’t know what to do . He acts without thinking and reaches out to gently shove Orm. The baby bounces on his diapered bum, eyes wide with shock. Orm blinks once, twice, and wails. He wasn’t hurt, but the surprise overwhelms him. His crying is so loud, it makes Arthur feel so guilty.

Their parents are in the room within a second. Atlanna wields her sword, looking for the enemy. Instead, all she finds is a blubbering Arthur who offers a very long explanation in a single breath: “I told you to come but neither of you were coming and dad is so slow, I thought you’d want to be here for this and I asked Ormie not to do it but he didn’t want to listen to me so I panicked and I pushed him, but it was suuuuuuper gentle. He fell on his bum but his bum is cushioned and I didn’t mean to make him cry but it was really important that he waits because I don’t want you to be sad that you missed it.”

Arthur inhales, catching up on the breath he forgot to take.

“Miss what?” Tom asks, a little too used to Arthur’s antics.

“Um, you might want to get the camera.”

He won’t let Atlanna comfort Orm because he totally has this under control. Arthur shuffles closer, hugging his little brother. “I’m sorry, Ormie. I didn’t mean to push you.”

He makes sure to let Orm press his head against his chest so he can better listen to the vibrations of his voice; it always comforts Orm to hear Arthur this way. He holds him until he calms down, which isn’t long at all because Ormie is a fierce Atlantean. Arthur can already tell.

“I’ve got the camera,” Tom announces and Arthur nods.

“Okay, you can do it now,” Arthur tells his brother and scoots back on his bum to where he was sitting before.

There’s a moment where Orm sits there in his purple octopus onesie, looking at everyone. They’re all staring at him, so he stares back, blinking his deep blue eyes at them. Then, he uses the couch to get on his feet. Tom coos encouragement, proud of his son. Orm looks back at him, and Tom quiets so as not to distract him.

Arthur holds his arms out to his brother. “Wanna huggie?”

Orm gives a happy bounce, his way of saying ‘yes’. There is no universe in which he rejects a huggie from his big brother. He extends an arm, making grabby hands, expecting Arthur to come to him again.

“No, you come.”

With one hand on the couch to stabilize himself, Orm hobbles on one leg and takes his very first step . (Atlanna has to cover her mouth, stifling her gasp of excitement.) Orm takes another step towards Arthur. (Tom most definitely has his camera trained on his youngest, capturing every moment.) Closer and closer, he stomps his way over to his brother, stopping briefly to bounce and wiggle his bum in happiness because Arthur is singing the clappy song. It tells him all he needs to know: he’s doing great, so he should continue .

Right before he makes it to Arthur, Orm squats as low as possible, but he doesn’t sit. He wiggles his diapered butt again before jumping into Arthur’s arms with a little screech of excitement. 

Arthur catches him—he always will. 

The two of them burst into laughter, and Tom cheers Orm on with gusto. He gets more invested in Orm’s victory than his favourite rugby game. He joins the kiddos on the rug, tumbling with them as if he’s helping Arthur catch Orm. He helps Arthur toss Orm into the air who bursts into bubbly giggles. 

Tom looks at Atlanna, who still has her mouth covered. Tears glisten on the height of her cheeks. She joins them.

“Oh, my little fry, I am so proud of you.”

“But mama, why are you crying?” Arthur asks.

“I am just so relieved.”

For as long as she can remember, Atlanna thought she had harmed Orm—

Harmed him by staying in Atlantis.

Harmed him by running away from Atlantis.

Her boys are doing just fine, doing things that children are supposed to do. They are laughing and growing together, and perhaps Tom is right about allowing them to live freely.

“You may call the Waynes,” she tells the father of her children, and the love of her life. “We send the boys to their school when they come of age, but if anything happens to my sons, I will hunt them down to the ends of the earth and I will make them regret ever meeting us.”

[period-dramallama]

Review: The Concubine by Christopher Bae Rae

TLDR: The first 3 chapters are great, the last third is great, the middle bit is kinda meh. I want to proofread and tweak this book, but overall I could recommend it to someone really into Anne Boleyn.

Overall this is a good depiction of how events evolve, with the delineation of responsibility between King and Cromwell fuzzy. A lot of factors combine to make this storm of disaster.

For @fideidefenswhore xxx many thanks for buying this and The King's Mind for me, I hope the review entertains.

We begin with Anne waiting impatiently for news of the death of 'Aragon' (Chris, please just call her the Princess Dowager. Aragon is not a surname!)

She has chosen Edward for her unborn son's name. A fitting choice, and chock full of dramatic irony, especially as Anne isn't wrong that a king called Edward will 'cleanse England of popery'. Anne's ambition for her son is sad because we know what will happen, but there is an unpleasant streak to Anne who imagines how "sweet" Princess Mary's death would be.

"All is well and all manner of things will be well." It's nice to see Rae has at least a passing knowledge of the Bible- better than most Tudor novelists.

"Her heart was black!"

Anne:

I'm narrowing my eyes at the characterisation of Janes Seymour and Rochford but it's not TOO bad. Could be worse.

Henry examining the heart was a great touch. The tension, the duality of his response: amazement at the human body but also a Christian revulsion/fear/disappointment at its animalness. The tension felt very Tudor, Christian, and (renaissance) humanist all at once.

Also his suspicion at Katherine's death feeds nicely into his paranoia. Will whoever did it stop at Katherine? It's a good moment for his character arc. Anne's laughing at the heart is also in character in a dark-sense-of-humour kind of way.

"Henry does not care to admit it, even to himself, but he sometimes feels a sensation of being overwhelmed by her energy and confidence, an uncomfortable intimation that she does not always quite remember her place. A feeling that she may in some ways be quicker and cleverer than he is."

It would be nice to have some more dialogue. Anne and Henry spend a happy evening together and the narration tells us about it but it would be nice to hear them banter and bounce off each other, especially given what's going to happen.

Henry doesn't seem that enthusiastic about Katherine in his dream but it IS a dream so I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a case of self-serving memory and his brain has retconned any memories of happiness with Katherine.

"The continuance of your house must be seen to be assured, for without that the continuance of their own is in peril." A good point.

Rae handled the yellow-wearing incident well: Anne doesn't want to, but she didn't persuade Henry in time.

"She waves her hand, as if this might be sufficient to consign Mary to some kind of perpetual limbo."

I am very pleased to see an acknowledgement that Anabaptists exist and are persecuted by Protestants, as they're ignored in 99.9% of Tudor novels especially Protestant-leaning novels: "These are madmen, their views are too extreme for any God-fearing Lutheran and they must be suppressed. But such people are a sign of these times." BUT Protestantism is not about going forward, but BACK- back to an ideal golden age late antiquity Christianity of simple purity. Protestantism in this novel comes across like innovation which is certainly not how Protestants like Anne would have seen it. (yes I know the word Protestant itself is anachronistic because it's a 1550s word but bear with me).

Elizabeth Boleyn is well written: blunt, shrewd, loving but not emotive, but also not judged for having a stiff upper lip. "her mother comes and bustles, exuding a strained air of optimism." I like this portrayal of Elizabeth as being strong for other people, it's a nice bit of characterisation for a minor character. There's a good back and forth between Norfolk, Anne and the Boleyn parents.

Fat Wolsey stereotype...did Anne really hate him? Some historians have questioned that. It would have been interesting to see a fresher interpretation of their interactions.

We're leaning hard into the "Thomas More is a sadist torturing people in his house and he loves burning people" myth BUT I will give it half a pass because it's Anne's perspective and it makes sense she'd unquestioningly absorb Protestant gossip. It also leans hard into Fisher and More being personal enemies of Anne, saying they refused the oath to the succession when it was the supremacy More refused to swear to. More was willing to swear to the succession, and it was Anne's own ally Cranmer who suggested a compromise: More swearing to the succession alone.

Opening a chapter with Henry coming to from the jousting accident was very effective because we are like Henry, we don't have the immediate knowledge of what just happened (in theory anyway lol we know the history.)

'Something very bad must have happened to him.' You don't say.

I think Rae's portrayal of Norfolk is a little OTT. Don't get me wrong, I hate Norfolk, I don't give him a nuanced sympathetic portrayal in my own writing- he's ruthless, condescending, materialistic, greedy, and obsessed with hierarchy to the point of comedy- but I think it's OTT to make him literally stinky. Norfolk was a git but he was an aristocratic git, so there's no reason for him not to cover himself in rosewater or musk or civet or rose oil and chew cloves and mint for fresh breath.

"It's not for the first time that she imagines that the duke's death would not cause her any great or lasting sorrow." Spitting facts.

"These men, with their constant needing, wanting, thrusting- can they not ever leave off?" I can see the real Anne thinking this.

Cromwell is called the chancellor, but that was Audley- as Rae says later in the book. What gives? Is this a different chancellorship? Rae really really really wants to keep reminding us that Cromwell is an efficient fixer who knows 'where everything is and who it belongs to.' He is described as having a 'prodigious capacity for work' and I'm pretty sure I've seen that exact phrase in a history book.

Anne's panic and shock written very well: "She stares at the cloth and the stain, as if it is a trick of the light and gazing at it intently enough might cause it to disappear."

Christopher loves adding in definite articles. "The relief floods through her" "the tears staining her pretty cheeks" "a part of" rather than "part of". "Skill at the jousting" "threatened with the torture".

But he also misses out words and letters. I had to silence my inner editor reading this, I was itching to get my red pen, particularly in the middle third of the book. 'You' where it should be 'your', 'away' when it should be 'way' 'when sings' instead of 'when he sings' 'is wife' instead of 'his wife'. 'He is mind is elsewhere'. Sometimes Rae will say the same thing twice but in different words. I'm itching to tidy up some of these sentences.

"Soon enough they are ensconced together in the study very privately and Cromwell can speak his mind having first taken the precaution of having his guest sign a solemn of secrecy."

"Cromwell asks his guest if he would care to view the current progress of the works he is undertaking on the new accommodation and the splendid garden."

"the style favoured by old Granny Beaufort." I'm wincing.

Hire me as a proofreader, Chris!! Let me tidy your sentences!! My rates are super duper reasonable!! ;) xx

"She must be bright and gay" I was surprised to see such an antiquated use of 'gay' in a book published AFTER 2010.

"she must amuse and entertain him as only she can do, she must have faith in their future and give him confidence in it."

The image of their relationship as a sinking ship works particularly well given that ship-jewel she gave him with the self-insert maiden onboard.

If an old woman is talking shit about you why do you eat her gift of pastries?! She's probably spat in them AT LEAST.

Sir 'Nick''s suggestions to Henry are so heavy-handed that the manipulation is almost darkly comedic.

I am narrowing my eyes at Chapuys contemplating 'the austere beauty' of the chapel at Austin Friars. It's just a little early for Protestant whitewash aesthetics to come in. I'll give it a pass.

"The king's amours are not my affair, my dear Eustace."

"I can see that you are unhappy about these arrangements, and of course I sympathise. I do not much like them myself...Seymour having the king's ear, or to dwell on what nonsense he may be pouring into it. But I do not think we should be unduly alarmed about any of this." Cromwell is very clever here, using 'we' and joining their interests together to convincingly sound like he's Anne's ally.

"The ambassador is more than capable of building towering insubstantial castles of speculation in the air; he is also a master of the direct question." Good! But Chapuys would talk of Christendom, not a brotherhood of Catholic nations.

I do think Chris should have read Macculloch on Cromwell, because this Cromwell is too secular. "Survival is in the end his only goal." As Macculloch showed, Cromwell took risks for the sake of the reformation and he also made political errors because he wanted to found a political dynasty through his son Gregory. So Cromwell has multiple motives: yes he wants money, power, prestige, etc., but he is devout too. "not a wit, a raconteur, a teller of tales." It's unfair on Cromwell to portray him as someone who can't amuse highborn ladies: the real Cromwell was an outgoing, hail fellow well met kind of guy.

The Tudor court does feel rather depopulated, Anne is alone with Nan a lot. Where are her other ladies? they tend to vanish.

The king eating partridge with a cherry sauce, a nice detail as IIRC cherries were a favourite of Henry's. "His smile congeals upon his face into a cold mask of reserve."

The memory of being 6 years old and sheltering in the Tower was a good character moment for Henry, especially him recreating the rebellion with his toys. There's a cold pride to Elizabeth of York as well as the typical motherly tenderness, which I like. She was born a Princess after all.

"Do you follow?" He follows. Cromwell has no trouble following." Double meanings! We love double meanings!

Nan Gainsford trying to help Anne by mentioning Mark Smeaton's crush...oh, Nan. A great moment of tragedy. "Cromwell looks at her, quietly recording every word for a remembrance." Later on "Anne nods, as always Nan's good counsel can be relied upon."

I do think this story is missing some key parts, like the scene where Chapuys around Easter 1536 was forced to publicly acknowledge Anne as queen, suggesting the plot to destroy her was rather last minute. Henry orchestrated that little diplomatic trap, and it doesn't really fit Rae's framing of events. Also the countess of Worcester should have been involved in Anne's downfall, but instead it's Jane Rochford.

The meeting with Lady Rochford is enjoyable as fiction but it seems unclear whether she is on Anne's side or not. The real Jane wouldn't want Anne to fall- her fortunes are tied to Anne as history showed: when the Boleyns fell Jane would never be as rich again.

"[Anne] has thought of Cromwell for so long as an ally." Has she??? At the beginning of the book she didn't trust him in the slightest so why is she so taken aback?

"In these times of division and dissent it is so easy to assume that those who share our opinions on matters of faith and religion are somehow bound to be our friends." But she didn't assume!

I like the description of Cromwell being like a bat, it makes a change from comparing him to a pig, which is lazy and boring and unoriginal and uncreative and unfunny.

"Once a single brick is loose, the wall will be brought down quite easily." "this notion, and the twisting, spiralling curlicues of imagined consequence which may issue from it." "the tower of fantasy spirals upwards, out of control."

Henry goes from 'Smeaton won't confess to something that isn't true' to 'I think I've been deceived' back to awareness alarmingly quickly.

"he has endured this kind of assault before, but it was a long time ago, in a blacksmith's yard in Putney, with another man who had absolute power over him". Someone's read Wolf Hall.

Jane Rochford is more malicious here than the evidence suggests.

"She studies Jane's insolent look, and begins to think she might do well to ask George to keep his wife at home in future. If she is allowed to remain at court she will cause trouble somehow. But what ails her? What does she hope to gain from it?"

"he is still a little puzzled by her motivation, because the naïve and trusting might think that her interest lay with the Boleyns since she is married to George, whereas in fact she seems to be determined to do everything in her power to destroy him."

CHRIS. YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT. It's frustrating because Rae is good enough as a fiction writer to spot the obvious holes, but not knowledgeable enough in this history to fix them. Like yes, Anne and George could have sent Jane away if they didn't like her! That suggests they probably DID LIKE HER!

He tries to fix it by having Jane want Anne "disgraced, brought down a peg two, and abandoned by the King...she has done whatever she could think of to help to bring such a conclusion about" that Jane is "nothing more than Anne's lady in waiting." But it doesn't make sense! If Anne were abandoned by the king, this proud and covetous Jane would see her own position decline. She isn't just Anne's lady in waiting- she's her sister in law! She has a fancy bed with Rochford knots and a fancy counterpane! Under Anne's replacement she would just be...another lady in waiting! Also we have Jane's signature and Jane "scratching out her mark" implies she can't write, which is inaccurate.

Smeaton saying "I have risen by my own talents and found favour" is a nice subtle parallel to Cromwell's own rise, which makes Smeaton's fall all the more tragic, as a foil to Cromwell.

Cromwell using the classic 'sign here without seeing the full document because it's hidden by the document above' from I, Claudius.

At Chateau Vert Jane was Constancy IIRC.

"a galliard she knows very well, so beautiful, sad and stately." I think Rae is thinking of a pavane here, a galliard is an upbeat dance.

"although she must suffer patiently the king's delight in revels and pageants, Katherine of Aragon does not care much for this kind of lewd and brazen display, and thinks privately that dancing is a business best left to whores and drunkards." I think this is an unfair portrayal of Katherine. She was pious, but she wasn't a killjoy.

The juxtaposition between Anne falling down into despair next to Henry's mood 'rising' is very effective, like he's draining her like a vampire. Henry believing his own lies and turning his thoughts to "pleasure and pastime with good company". I saw what you did there, Chris.

There are some excellent moments of extreme black comedy in this. "They must believe that there was a conspiracy against myself, not one that has been crudely fashioned against the Queen.' Cromwell winces. Crudely fashioned?"

"It is simple enough, she is to be burned alive, according to the law. This provokes a murmuring from the Lords, and Norfolk looks puzzled until he remembers to add that the king in his great mercy is expected to commute this to beheading."

[adream-melody]

!! Hello!! I hope you're having a nice day... Or night? Or maybe this is a dream... Um!! If you have time... Could you... Write about different dates? Where they would go with MC the very first time, even if it's a friend date for the first outing! It can be anything. It can be any gender too... I would rather see your preferences... Starish... Quartet Night... Heavens... You should pick your favorites only when you write it... Or do as you like... Either way I will read it the way you choose to write it... ✨

-Pankeki-kun 🥞

Pankeki-kun! Welcome… You are too kind. Actually, I know many people dislike them, but I am a big HEAVENS fan. Thank you for giving me the choice so I could write something for them…! Sorry for the delay… I had the Sickness We Shall Not Mention, but I am all better now!

HEAVENS and first dates

Eiichi, thanks to his father, has a bit of a complex, so wants to look as cool and interesting as possible in front of his date. His hobby is car racing, so he perhaps would take his date to see a race or try it for themselves - if they are not interested in driving, he can always invite them into his own car to see him drive and experience the adrenaline or racing anyway. To decompress, he would take his date to a fancy restaurant with light food so they could later take a walk back through a park before he drives his date home.

During said walk is probably where you two would get to talk the most. The breeze of the early night is nice, the dark is comforting, and the park is empty so it’s an especially nice place to open up and talk about what you experienced together. It’s also the perfect moment for him to try and flirt a little under the disguise of the starry sky~

Eiji would try to play it safe, and take his date to a classic first date location like a café after watching a movie together. He’ll try his best to pick a movie that his date would like as a way to win some extra points (not without easing the topic in conversation before even gathering the courage to ask his crush out on a date), but if not, he would be the kind to simply ask his date what they wanted to watch.

And although a movie is not the best place to talk and get to know each other, it will give him the chance to see if you felt comfortable with him or not, and it also gives him something to talk about afterwards if by any chance talking about yourself feels a bit too much for now. It’s a safe pick that won’t require much preparation, but also something simple and relaxing that can become a habit for you too and give you more opportunities to see each other and grow closer together.

Kira is a bit self conscious of his stoic face and his struggle to voice his emotions, so he would probably also take his date to a place where he doesn’t need to talk much. He enjoys music, naturally, and he also can play the piano so he’s knowledgeable in classical music, so perhaps he would take his date to an orchestra recital. The place and the low lighting would make it easier for him to evaluate your reactions as well, to plan for a later hypothetical date.

He is interested in pottery as a hobby, so maybe if things go well, he’ll plan a later date for the both of you to attend a pottery class together. That also allows him to keep quiet yet still spend time with you, but it also helps him show a part of himself that not everybody knows. He will probably make a specially nice piece based on what you like and give it to you once it’s done, as a way to remember a special time for him and hopefully for you as well.

Nagi would try to take his date to a place that shows the best, and cutest, part of himself. He’d try his best to make sure his date was a fun place where it felt like the time flew by and where his date had a lot of different choices so there was no chance of becoming boring - something like build-a-bear, or an arcade.

He’ll make sure you take a souvenir with you, that being the plushie you make or a prize he won through a claw machine or with tickets at the prize shop of the arcade, so whenever you see this prize you would think of him. He might even try to swap prizes with you - he’s going to make sure the thing you get from him is as close as how cute he is so you don’t get to forget about your first date together!

Yamato loves to move his body and really enjoys sports, so he would probably take his date to do something like indoor rock climbing. It gives him a chance to show off something he’s confident in as well as having an excuse to get close to his date while showing correct hand placement on the rocks and the right and safest way to tie a harness.

If you have a good time he’d be over the moon and say you two can go together again whenever you want to. If you had a hard time and don’t want to go back, he’d apologise and to make it up for you, he’ll let you pick the place for the next date. A win-win.

Shion would probably take his date to a place like a bird café at first, and later something like a greenhouse. If things go well, he might even take them to an observatory or the like. He’s a bit insecure and he gets overwhelmed easily, so he would rather go to a quiet and calm place given that he’s already feeling quite nervous after asking his crush out. He’ll try to invite his date to places that he likes in an effort to show parts of himself in a way that’s not too obvious.

The secret here is asking him about things - birds, stars, whatever is that catches his attention, and be patient with him and be an avid listener. He’d probably be worried about being too pushy about his interests, so he might be a bit tense at the start of the date, but he’ll probably feel more confident after you spend a bit more time with him (but luckily, not yet so relaxed that he falls asleep!).

Van would take his date to somewhere fun and with a great energy, like a stand-up or manzai show or maybe even out dancing. He’s an energetic man, so it’s only natural that those were the places that would attract him the most - and it also gives him a great chance to improvise some corny jokes and pick-up lines to try to make his date laugh, too; something versatile so that he can also have a private moment with his crush and be able to chat.

If you enjoy yourself, he’ll probably keep an eye on interesting events just so he could ask you out again. A bar with live jazz music, an interactive play, a themed restaurant - just leave the entertainment to him, and with his enthusiasm you are definitely going to have a good time.

Master list || Tags

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi not a prompt, but i love your writing soo soo much! I wanted to know what are your headcanons for malec and the SH universe in general. Also have you read the books?

oooh okay so i loved this ask and here we go. it's a bit long jsyk

Oh wow, okay. My headcanons for malec. This might get a bit long and it’s not going to look pretty so please bear with me because I don’t have the time to make it look nice though I’ll do that eventually.

So first things, individually.

I think alec is autistic and demi-sexual and I pretty much write that into my fics. I also am pretty hardcore in the belief that malec are soulmates and that’s often written into my work/implied/referenced oh, and he’s a slytherin

Magnus I headcanon as adhd and a ravenclaw because while he’s ambitious, his interest in knowledge and learning and inventing (he created the portal and worked with a shadowhunter to do it) is one of his biggest traits and also, you can’t tell me that one of the signs of an adhd warlock wouldn’t be them just tossing things into the void because object permanence and realizing three centuries later that was one of their favorite cups and they miss it. Or even ‘oops, that’s where that spell book went. Got distracted’. (saeth   adhd and let me tell you if they had magic. This would be them. Half the things in the house would be tossed into the void BECAUSE THEY DO THAT WITHOUT MAGIC and I am projecting lol) anyway ravenclaw because I feel like magnus just really loves learning and knowing things tbh. Team immortal is there no matter how dark magnus is and they support him through everything unless they’re dead and I don’t normally write that they’re both gone, if even one of them is.

I don’t think I could write a universe where Alec hated Magnus, not after meeting him. There’s something about Magnus that calls to Alec instinctively, in a primal way and Alec is kind of helpless to resist it and more than that, he usually doesn’t want to. It takes more effort for him to ignore and avoid magnus, than it does to give in. The same for magnus, though he tries better to hide it.

Magnus is the more wary of the two tbh, once alec falls he falls. Once he takes that first step and kisses magnus, there is no turning back for alec and that’s pretty overwhelming for him. Also this is just the way alec is wired and how he loves. He’d rather make sacrifices and cut out other things than lose magnus and he often struggles with what he wants and what he feels he needs to do. Because alec is used to sacrificing what he wants and loves so a part of him probably always feels like he shouldn’t be allowed to keep magnus. Which is why its so important that he’s kept, because the choice is out of his hands and he no longer has to battle against himself and the brainwashing that was beat into him.

Letting magnus keep him is probably the most selfish thing Alec ever does and it’s also the best thing for himself.

In my fics where they’re already established relationship, i often skipped the parts where magnus has lowered his guard enough to let alec in and fully let himself love him. Like magnus is already gone before alec ever kisses him in canon but he’s in denial and trying to protect himself. They fall near the same time but they’re both in denial for different reasons.

In soulmate au’s and fics like Elysium’s Tears, there are often outside factors that let Alec slip past Magnus’ boundary guard. In the fics that there aren’t those factors, Magnus normally finds a way to bind alec to him and keep him. Because magnus is too protective of his own heart to let alec in when there is a risk he could leave.

And alec is, as I mentioned. Very happy to be kept.

In most of my fics, alec stays on as hoti and tbh, magnus adores his competent shadowhunter but he’d much rather someone else deal with the drudgery and alec just supervise them. Which is why magnus is very invested in mirai’s health in a lot of my fics.

I write competent shadowhunters and warlocks btw.

Who use common sense because they’re militaristic but they’re not soldiers. They’re hunters and they need to have instincts and be able to think for themselves when their leader is unavailable and they are tracking prey or being tracked.

And I write warlocks as if they, you know, actually live in a world that had a genocide happen 20 years ago. Wary, battle worn and with a lot of defensive magic and jewelry. Because that shit doesn’t fade, especially when you’re already long lived and weary.

I write malec as Dom/Magnus and Sub/Alec because that’s my headcanon and I don’t plan on changing that. That’s just how my thoughts of their dynamic works and even when it’s not explicit, it’s how I tend to write things. I don’t want to get into it because it often gets gross, but I’ll say I don’t think dom = top or sub = bottom. Its just sex and scenes and the enjoyment they derive from it and how I end up writing is often based on what kind of intimacy I’m trying to convey.

Excerpt from ‘an extension of you’s notes on ao3:

also i will not write my characters being transphobic (unless it's a rare occasion i want to write asshole about to get curb stomped and crushed and even then that’s rare because i normally don’t want to write about it). Alec has had a lot of conversations about genitalia and gender with magnus and it took a while but he figured it out because honestly, alec had never given it much thought before. if a guy had been giving birth, alec would have still been just as horrified by the vaginal fluid. the same way he was horrified to be propositioned by a woman, even if she had a cock. it just, his brain does not compute. cat is pleasantly surprised btw, because of how rampant all the prejudice-phobias are in shadowhunter culture.

alec is demi-sexual coded in a lot of my fics because i headcanon that and i am also repulsed by genital and birthing fluids.

alec: my boyfriend is my boyfriend regardless of whats in his pants. and if i end up not liking it we'll just do other things for as long as he wants, because it's his body and he gets what he desires in his pants.

magnus: i desire you in my pants

alec: magnus this is supposed to be serious

magnus: im always serious about wanting you

— end excerpt –

I headcanon that alec loves strawberries and raspberries and has terrible eating habits because of how he was raised and trained. And that magnus wants to pamper alec in every way he can with decadence. Alec likes the fruitier/tart drinks and avoids gin and vermouth and he loves champagne and once he gets used to the burn, whiskey. Beer is a hit or miss and he’s not fond of ipas.

Magnus doesn’t necessarily change alec’s style, but he does change his wardrobe. Switching it out for softer clothing and nicer textures, more protective features. Sometimes alec feels adventurous and he’s always allowed to browse magnus’ closet but magnus doesn’t push him unless they’re going out and alec’s exasperatedly fine with magnus coordinating their outfits. He’s hopelessly endeared by it actually.

Alec likes watching magnus enjoy himself and magnus enjoys alec watching him and they both are winning but they both think it’s for the wrong thing. Alec thinks magnus enjoys the shopping and magnus thinks alec likes watching him try on things. Which I mean is a perk, for alec, but not the draw.

There is just a lot of mutual adoration from the two tbh. Alec is touch starved and Magnus is hungry to touch and be touched and alec is shocked that he’s allowed to touch and delighted by it.

And appreciated. Alec isn’t used to being appreciated and magnus is very appreciative and in the same turn, magnus isn’t used to being worshiped and alec worships him

Magnus loves confident alec btw, he just also likes turning confident alec into a blushing mess because alec is: heart eyes motherfucker

I think the reason I sometimes say I write soft/dark and soft/horror is because there’s never really a universe where alec isn’t mesmerized by magnus and magnus isn’t entranced in return. So there’s always this element of longing/wonder between them, even in the darker of verses. It’s really hard to not have those parts when it’s just so intrinsic to them and it’s why even in something like kiss with a fist, I’ve been told the ending is very soft.

Also I have not read the books, but saeth has and so they tell me information from it when I need it and I do incorporate small details that they share.

and alec will always end up immortal in my verses even if it's not stated.

Putting this on here with a link since I don’t want to overload the page:

okay so yeah, i hope you like this insight?

<3 lumine

[plaindangan]

Little bit of an unorthodox ask. Not sure if this classifies as ToD or something but, may we get the girls of class 78 (plus Chihiro and/or Komaru if you're into those things) do a Fuck, Marry, Kill with the options being the 3 protags. With a small little sentence or 2 as reasoning behind each choice. Think it'll be entertaining, and hopefully fun to write!

Disclaimer: Below is content that's more on the racy side! If not for you, you probably shouldn't read!

(Normally wouldn't quite do this considering it goes past the limit, but since the requirements are on the shorter, not descriptive heavy side, thought it might be fun to do. Also replacing Kill with Kiss, so hope you don't mind!)

Kyoko

"Marry Makoto. Fuck Shuichi and Kiss Hajime. I wouldn't choose any other person besides Makoto at this point to marry. For Shuichi, I work with him and he holds a similar 'asset' to Makoto that I enjoy, so doing it with him would probably be a pleasurable experience. So that leaves Hajime for the kiss, and he's a fairly attractive man in his own right so there's no issues with that."

Mukuro

"...M-m-marry Makoto. He's the first person to really treat me like someone so, you know? As for the others...I-I guess if I had to choose, Fuck Hajime since I hear he's actually pretty strong and I would want to test that out in bed? And Shuichi's at least is cute enough to want to at least give a kiss?"

Sayaka

"I feel like who I'm going to pick to marry is obvious!~ It's pretty much the same like Kyoko for me! There's no guy but Makoto that I want to marry, so for the other two its pretty much down to simple differences that I like more."

Hina

"Um...I guess I choose marry Makoto? I know him the most a-and he's helped me with some...personal stuff. So he works! I'd Fuck Hajime since, yeah, I've actually seen him without his shirt on thanks to Akane, so trying him would really work. It just leaves Shuichi and he's kinda cute so it works out."

Celeste

"I would choose Shuichi, if mostly because he's probably the richest of the three who could spoil me best~ Makoto has the perfect body to whip into submission, which just leaves Hajime to bask in the right to get a kiss from me."

Toko

"A-a-a-as if I'd ch-choose anyone but my Master!!!!!...B-but on t-t-totally m-made up note...Hajime, Makoto, then Shuichi. O-one has M-master's body, th-the other w-would be good practice for him and detectives and I d-don't mix so...he's last."

Sakura

"If I were to choose a lifelong partner, than Hajime and his physique would be an adequate choice. I hear Shuichi is also working out with his peers, so I assume a...night with him would work out. I hope Makoto wouldn't mind just receiving a kiss."

Chihiro

"I-It's me next, huh? Well...I suppose marry Makoto, then 'do it' with Hajime and kiss Shuichi. I know Makoto far better than the other two and he's really supportive, so I think it would work best with him. A-after that, well, I actually met Hajime while working with Chiaki s-so...I-I probably shouldn't say~"

Komaru

"What!? Why am I here!? Ughhhh, all these options aren't the greatest...I guess, marry Shuichi, since he's kind of the hottest between him and Hajime to me, though with Hajime I bet he'd probably be pretty great in bed. A-a-a-and Makoto just gets a peck on the forehead! I'm done!"

Junko

"And saving the best for fucking last!!! Now, of these three peasants who shall bear the privilege of being with moi!? Puhuhuhu~ It's Makoto I'm marrying! That Hope has to have a limit and I wanna be with him for the rest of my life to see it! (Sigh)....I guess Hajime to fuck with....literally. He's not Izuru...but guys like him who get with someone outside of their league, seeing their despair as they try to satisfy me is pretty fucking good. Yay, yay, yay! It just leaves Shuichi to take a nice, wet, french kiss from me that it'll make him crave more! Too bad he'll never experience it again~ Puhuhuhu!"

[tellmegoodbye]

Hello Harley! nice ask week query for you! give me your top 5 Lone Star scenes please and thank you 💜

Top five scenes??? Gosh, This is hard!!

Before we start, Hello. My name is Harley and I love angst. My choices here probably explain a lot...

I am doing this off the top of my head because I have never put a list together until now. It is also very late so if I forget an iconic scene that would be criminal for me to leave out, I'm sorry. I will definitely correct myself in the morning and add onto this if that is the case.

The best scene in the entire show HAS to be the TK waking up/Grace giving birth sequence, right? I think it's safe to say that nobody is doing it like her. Just the two extremely emotional situations that could only really be described as miracles, both coming to fruition after four episodes of angst. The music choice?? The acting??? TK and Carlos finding their way back to each other and barely having to say anything, and Grace and Judd being able to have this experience together in spite of everything that stood in that path. The pain you can feel from Owen as he watches a new life coming into this world, unaware that his son is waking up at the same exact time. Like the choices that were made here were just brilliant. Push, my beloved, there is a reason I just wrote 23k words about you.

This is a combination of two from the same episode, the first one being that period of silence after Tommy finds Charles in 2x13. It's one of the most emotional scenes I've ever watched in any show, and it does so much without relying on sound. The second one is at the end of the same episode where she is finally able to cry, and this is also one of my favorite musical moments from the show, if you recognized the lyrics in my blog title!

The entire plane landing sequence in 3x08. Another favorite musical moment of mine, but also just an amazing scene in general. I'm a sucker for all the 'begins' type episodes, and the way that scene switches between the past and present is really well done and definitely gets me crying every time.

I absolutely have to include the scene in 2x02 where we get a glimps at each character mourning after Tim's death. It's another one of those scenes that does a lot with very little. Incredible acting, and it gave us that beautiful moment where TK comes home to Carlos and collaspes in his arms. Such a memorable scene for me.

I'm going to be on my Owen bs for a hot second here so please bear with me. It had actually been a while since I watched this scene so I almost forgot how much I enjoyed it, but I watched 3x18 again recently and the scene where Owen is hallucinating talking to Gwyn fucking broke me. As well as the rest of the scene that followed where he's rescued. The best way I could describe their love story is a beautiful tragedy. You can tell Owen has carried around a lot of guilt for how it ended, and you can't help but wonder how different things could have been if they had worked out, and if she had lived. I think it was an incredibly important scene to have as well, if you also take into account everything we learned about Owen in 3x15 and 3x16. His journey over the past two seasons is something I have appreciated immensely. We learned that he lost his brother and his father in different, yet equally tragic ways, he lost the love of his life, he lost a brother AGAIN so soon after metting him, and after all that loss he still had to find a way to focus on the people who were still there. I think that 3x18 scene in particular is beautiful, but it also sums up a lot of the emotions I have surrounding his character and why I love him so much.

Honorable mentions include: soulmates scene, proposal scene, intro scene in 4x18 where they postpone the wedding, the entire being alive sequence, the call between Grace and that astronaut in 1x10, Hen and Owen talking when they're trapped in the mine in 2x03, Carlos crying after the fire, Marjan keeping herself alive by hallucinating her younger self in road kill, and literally any scene from saving grace and shift-less.

Plus many others that I have inevitably forgotten. Please yell at me and tell me what I missed because I can be a ding dong sometimes and I am overdo for a full rewatch.

[borathae]

So many poeple are against tae and bashing him, which is understandable but i dont think anyone can get what hes going through. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for now. Becasue he redeemed himself with oc a while back and i belive like he will once again with kook. (maybe?)

I dont think all that talk about "your eyes i see no evil in them" or him being so vulnerable in front of him and crying and letting him bathe him etc is that of a man who was simply looking to be distracted. Yes kook came at a time where tae was at loss but he could've went to any other person for distraction. He has like ten vampire friends that are more than willing to fuck him.

It does hurt me that kook only maybe was with him for the romance of it, it seems like he liked how taehyung made him feel and no ttaehyung himself….

I might be wrong but despite how the events evolved I feel like taehying feels way more for jungkook than jungkook does for him and way more than he care to show. They might not be in love but they sure damn had the potential for that.

It sucked when jungkook said that he doesnt think he's the one for him

Do u think that's defenitive or that just how he feels at the moment? Will they be happy again? Or does jungkook not see that and just misses the romance not the person? I mean even when describing his heartbreak to yoongi it was all about how played taehying made him feel, not that he misses him or being with him…

I don't know i feel like taehyung is suffering waaaaay more than we think… and i just want him to get rid of his demons

Interesting choice to paint Kook as the villain of this situation. Interesting choice, one I personally probably wouldn’t have made but I’m not one to judge jdjsjs

Bear in mind that they "only" dated for a good five weeks, so maybe that is why Kook seems to be less "in love with him" because naturally he didn’t have enough time with him to develop honest feelings. They went from enemies to lovers in the blink of an eye AND Tae hurt Kook once before during the vampire dance, so I think it’s only natural of Kook to not fall head over heels with Tae, but to keep a healthy distance to "see how this will develop. Also Tae is naturally the type to fall in love quickly, so maybe that’s why he seemed more smitten for him jdjsjs

I do think that Kook liked the romance Tae made him experience and he loved the thought that he could have sex without ANY kind of restraints. So you are correct that he liked the way Kookie was allowed to feel and act with Tae. But Kookie doesn’t differentiate between the feelings a person makes him feel and the person itself. If someone makes him feel like shit all the time, he will dislike them. If someone makes him feel nice, he will like them. So obviously when Tae was all sweet to him Kookie liked him because of how he acted and therefore liked him as a person. But I think that’s only natural to do hahaha

And I also think that it’s fair of Kook to be hurt by the aspect that all those sweet words and gestures and intimate moments were under the guise of "being a distraction". Of course he is hurt by the thought that every single second of romance and sweetness he experienced with Tae was nothing but a distraction to him. It’s only natural of him to be hurt by being reduced to "you were nothing but a distraction, even with all the kind things I told you, you were never more to me than a distraction". And it’s only natural that "missing him" becomes miniscule and "wrong" when the huge, painful fact of "I was just a distraction anyways" hangs in the air. Who tf would miss a person if they told them straight in the face "you were a distraction. Now leave I can’t bear to look at you", like please of course nobody would think "hey you know what? I do miss them before anything else. How hurt I am doesn't matter" jdjdjd

So yeah, I won’t stop you from seeing Kook as the villain, as anyone interprets stories differently. I personally wouldn’t do it though hsjsjs

[undeniable-ignorance-blog]

For years I've wanted to be with you. I've shown you as much affection as I can without angering whoever you decide is the best for you at the time. You've been so open with me. I've watched you actively decide to make the wrong choice 100 times and helped you regardless of the way you regurgitate my past words as if they were your own epiphany. I hate who you can be and how asymmetrically your kindness lacks for me.

And somehow I'm still so deeply and hopelessly drawn to you.

I don't want to be with you. I don't want anyone else to be with you. I want to be with the person I think you are but every time you do something heinous, I die as you stray further from the person I dream of.

You tempt me with your drunken kisses and your open, confessing heart dangling in front of me, hypnotising me into believing that not only is the person in my head real but gazing back into my eyes.

Until I see the spark in yours is just mine reflecting and I can't feel any warmth of love other than my own.

I remember the boys you like. They don't look like me. They don't sound like me. They aren't me, for even the simple fact that you smile so wide when you see their name appear in little pixels a foot away from your face. They'll stray on your mind in my company. I understand why. You'll change the conversation to them if only to prove to someone else that you are loved and worthy of it. In my head I say I know you are loved, you don't need to prove it to me. I am the evidence. Love is asymmetrical and cruel sometimes.

I try to cut off this feeling for you as if it were my own arm and I were holding the saw but try as I might, the blades are dull and my strength fails me.

I hopelessly run from you. I hide and surround myself with false walls that crumble if you even mention my name, I couldn't bear making you upset. I'm one of the only boys to never make you cry and maybe that's why I can't make you as happy as I really want to, because I can't also make you rip apart your bed sheets and scream into your pillow until your lungs hurt. I can't make you stain your clothes with your mascara and put a blade to your own skin. I know how to but I could never do it. I don't know why you think that's what love is. I don't know why you think that's how you have to prove you love someone. Maybe all I really want is to be wanted. Wanted by you. But how would that be possible if I only want to care for you.

You're happier without me as long as there's someone else to fill the space that I occupy just to make sure you can't destroy yourself. If I'm not there, you fall. But by being there I am dug deeper into the mud that I stand on.

Your perspective is so very different to my own. I'm another boy who can't take their eyes off of you. Another boy who can't just be friends. I wish I could be put off by you and just stay friends too. I don't struggle with keeping girls as friends as some might, just you.

The boy with the moustache who's 3 inches taller than me and 10 inches taller than you can always win your heart. To the victor goes the spoils, but I don't like seeing you as something to be won. And as a terrifying realisation, more because that would mean I'd lost already and the final judgement called. I'd rather believe that your decisions are your own, then I remember how your intentions and your promises sway in the direction of the strongest winds.

Why would I want to be with someone who so desperately cannot stomach the idea of being with me. Your negative qualities stare me in the face and yell and scream at me to go away and find someone better. I'm stubborn and stupid. I'm not hideous, I've felt love before, but never have I wanted to use the nice wrapping paper and prettiest bow and offer it to you with flowers and watch your face light up when you open it.

The jumper I bought you sits at the bottom of your drawer, messed up in a ball. I've never seen you wear it but I have seen the same grotty pair of jogging bottoms draped on you, from the behemoth that you called your last abuser, 50 times since he left you for the 5th time.

You sound like a selfish mess who only wants to use me to feel better. And I so desperately want to make you feel better.

Hopefully my love will cease entirely, then I won't have to risk it coming out like this again.

[bakafox]

Veilguard critical critical rant, be warned

TLDR:

For personal mental health's sake, and society's sake, and also if we even want some franchises to keep being franchises outside of fanfiction- I think it's a peace we have to all make with any media franchise we love that's going to last longer than a couple of years, that it is going to change, and not all the ideas and ideals whether story or based in the technology or (especially) the amount of work needed to pull them off will stick.

We're not going to like all the chapters the same way. We might even really dislike some chapters. And maybe we'll decide we don't even want to give certain chapters a chance because the vibe or early critiques of it are off- but it's something to maybe do without seeing it all or acting and speaking as if it is some kind of personal attack or personal affront, or by claiming the people who worked on the project were ignorant or didn't love it.

Mild VG general storyline spoilers are late in the rant.

I know that even though I love the game, others do not, and tastes vary so hey, it's cool. A mutual of mine thinks the combat is a slog, that's a totally fair opinion. An artist I started following for DAI stuff feels it's "MEH".

But I feel like a lot of the DAVG critical stuff I wind up seeing is from people looking at past games through rose-tinted glasses in terms of what sorts of choices there were or how things were integrated in from any previous game, which leaves me confused, maybe a bit salty because I am confused, but ok, not what super bothers me.

I'm equally baffled and so a bit salty about an expectation of more southern Thedas stuff being brought into northern Thedas when northern Thedas had so little to do with southern in previous games beyond, well, the cult and elves getting sold out of Denerim. Or how some criticisms seem to forget how much time has passed as well as geography between the different DA games. Still not my worst frustrations, though.

What super bothers me is I feel this sense of entitlement mixed with the worst-faith takes on why maybe Veilguard *is* more simple than previous games, and why they reneged on the idea that 'your choices matter'.

What I see in Youtube comments and so on are people talking about Bioware 'forgetting their lore' or 'deciding we don't matter', often because of that DAI era 'your choices matter' thing, and some just take the more reasonable view that it's frustrating, while others are acting like it's Bioware deliberately shitting on them in some way but like...

Devs have been very open about how hard they found it to keep that stuff up with the Mass Effect franchise at least that I am aware of, and I assume it's just as difficult to do it in Dragon Age. I think the idea was a fun one that they underestimated the difficulty of with the changing technologies and also just budgets and time tables game developers have to work with.

It isn't because the devs hate or don't know the franchise, or are dismissing fans and players, it's very likely because honestly, trying to fit in a lot more choices as cameo content would have just stretched things entirely too thin.

Just the choices leading to who would be the Warden you meet in DAI tripled their workload for that quest in certain areas- and yet also, it had no bearing on what happened in the quest beyond me feeling less guilty if it was Loghain being left in the Fade because I despise that toxic motherfucker. You still left either him or Hawke in it. It was a nice nod to player choice, but not an intrinsic part of game storyline. They could have thrown a dart at a dartboard with different possible wardens, gone with whatever it landed on, and it wouldn't have been as cool for them to announce some choice as canon, but it wouldn't have altered the outcome.

So now- how much work would it be for them to work in some quest where you get to see your Hawke if you spared them there, or one of the three Wardens if you didn't? Getting the voice actors back, and everything, on top of all the code or writing switcheroos?

I think they sadly overhyped the idea with DAI, before realizing they just could NOT keep it up on what is, to EA, a niche series with niche fans. Yeah it's a AAA game, but EA had to be convinced to let it ride as a single player RPG to begin with, because they'd been wanting the 'future' of multiplayer and online services. It isn't a game EA is counting on to keep their lights on, and certainly EA isn't going to hesitate to shut down Bioware and toss the DA IP into a closet forever if this game doesn't give enough profit margin.

Since I still like the game and franchise, that'd make me sad, but this is not me saying people who don't want it should buy it, or people who don't like it need to like it. But the enemy if there even IS one, when it comes to scaling back on ideal planning is the capitalism and the crunch, is not the developers who worked personally on the game and tried to incorporate things they definitely did love about previous DA games into it.

And the changes weren't made out of ignorance, much less malice. They're just... changes, and not signs that someone up there hates or scorns us or didn't do any homework before making the game.

And I think it's the kind of changes that fans of any franchise have to get used to happening, because they do happen in pretty much every franchise I know of, and in most of the ones I know of some people are constantly exploding about the changes in exactly the same ways. Treating whatever's disliked as if it's some manner of deliberate attack being made at worst, or still a bit meh, claiming that the people involved never loved the source material, never cared about the setting. (Which is true sometimes some showrunners outright say it! But not all the time, and there is no actual sign of this being a problem with any Dragon Age game to date.)

For personal mental health's sake, and society's sake, and also if we even want some franchises to keep being franchises outside of fanfiction- I think it's a peace we have to all make with any media franchise we love that's going to last longer than a couple of years, that it is going to change, and not all the ideas and ideals whether story or especially if based in the technology or amount of work needed to pull them off will stick.

We're not going to like all the chapters the same way. We might even really dislike some chapters. And maybe we'll decide we don't even want to give certain chapters a chance because the vibe or early critiques of it are off- but it's something to maybe do without seeing it all as some kind of personal attack or personal affront, or claiming the people who worked on it were ignorant or didn't love it.

[innerpalaces]

The Life of a Cannon Fodder Mother-in-Law - 47

Chapter 47: The Step-Mother-in-Law 14

Master Li was really embarrassed.

Yan Songyu schemed to get gifts from someone else's family, as if he could not support his wife and children. Moreover, she calculated the things from her previous husband's family, which really touched his bottom line and he couldn't accept it.

If Zhang Manyue hadn't been there just now, he would really have beaten someone. Years of education and the Li family's reputation made him resist the urge to take action. But the anger in his heart still lingered, causing his chest to feel clogged. Yan Songyu knew that if the Li family found out about the Ge family's efforts to give her gifts, she would definitely not have a good end. It would probably take a long time to coax her husband back. Being divorced... was also possible. But she didn't expect that this day would come so quickly. Especially that Master Li couldn't even wait to return to the mansion, and said these words in front of Zhang Manyue. Yan Songyu didn't even need to look, she knew that Zhang Manyue must be watching a good show at this time.

In fact, she didn't know whether Zhang Manyue was gloating or not, and she was too full of fear of being divorced. Her life in the Li family was uncomfortable, but she really didn't want to be poor anymore, and she didn't want to go out early and come back late just for a few coins. Immediately not caring about shame, she grabbed the man's sleeve, and said with tears streaming down her face: "Husband, I may have done something wrong, but I have given birth to children for you and managed your household over the years. I have worked hard without any credit. You can't treat me like this. If you kick me out, what will happen to the two children? They are still so young. Children without a mother will be bullied by others. It will also be difficult to get married... Master, please listen to my explanation. There is an inside story, and it is not what Zhang Manyue said at all. She just wants to sow discord between us. She can't bear to see me doing well, so she wants to push me into the mud and ruin me... Woo woo woo... Please listen to me... I am your wife, how can you convict me based on a few words from outsiders?"

The teahouse was not big, but there were still many guests inside. There was such a commotion at the door, and everyone looked over curiously. Sensing the attention of everyone, Mr. Li's face became hot and he wanted to pull back his sleeve, but Yan Songyu's grip was too tight and he couldn't free himself at all. He really didn't want to stay here and be stared at like a dancing monkey, so in desperation, he had no choice but to reach out and take the person into his arms, lift her up and throw her into the carriage. Liu Yuniang watched the carriage leave, the smile on her lips never fading. Even if Yan Songyu shamelessly stayed in the Li family and she was not divorced, her life would not be comfortable. It was getting late, so she closed the shop and went home to cook. When the siblings came back home, Ge Guangxing seemed unhappy and glanced at Liu Yuniang's expression several times. "Is there something wrong?" Ge Guangxing hesitated to say: "Grandmother...she came to see me." Liu Yuniang nodded. "What did she say?" "She said...she didn't say anything." Ge Guangxing smiled and asked: "Mom, how is the business in the shop?" He was about to say it, but changed his mind at the last moment. Liu Yuniang knew at a glance that the old madam probably didn't have anything nice to say. "It's very good. A big customer came today and I made two taels of silver." Liu Yuniang counted on her fingers: "When the leftover materials in the shop are used up, the embroiderers will have learned almost everything. After the shop is renovated, we can do more business." Ge Guangyu also noticed that something was wrong with her brother, but she knew better than to ask. If grandmother said something unpleasant, her mother would probably feel uncomfortable after hearing it. In the morning, she talked about the interesting stories she heard from her senior sisters.

Liu Yuniang was not dismissed so easily. Besides, she was not really Zhang Manyue. What the Ge family mother and son did could not hurt her at all. "What did your grandmother say?" Ge Guangxing lost his smile and said with a grimace, "I shouldn't have mentioned it." Ge Guangyu glared at him: "Stupid!" "Sister, if you scold me more, I'll feel better." Ge Guangxing was sincere. Ge Guangyu choked. Liu Yuniang looked at the two siblings. "There are some very important things that you can't hide from me. Your grandma and dad won't let me go so easily, so it's better to tell me everything about them, whether they come to you or you hear about them." Ge Guangxing was silent for a moment, then: "Grandmother wanted the new shop you rented, and it seems that you refused. She was very unhappy and asked me to come back and persuade you, saying that women should stay at home to care for their husbands and children and do housework. It's not good to show up in public." He didn't think so. If it weren't for the mother's courage to show up in public, the three of them would have to move to the Zhang family after leaving the Ge family, and he would not have the opportunity to learn medicine.

But living in someone else's house is not a long-term solution. The siblings... could probably only work as ordinary clerks and maids. Furthermore, after they settled down, they didn't have much money on hand. If it weren't for their mother's savings, the family would probably have to worry about making ends meet. Therefore, he never felt that his mother's business was wrong. What annoyed him was what his grandmother said; but she was an elder, so he could only listen obediently. The quarter of an hour he spent listening to his grandmother talking today felt extremely long. He wanted to refute her several times, but he was afraid that being too unruly would damage his mother's reputation... What if outsiders say that his mother doesn't know how to teach her children? Regarding these words, Liu Yuniang was not surprised at all. "The shop I rent was very shabby. They visited it before and were reluctant to spend money and energy to repair it, so it fell into my hands. Your grandma couldn't find a suitable shop, so she came back with this idea." She advised: "You have to learn to be smart. If you don't want to listen to her, ask your fellow apprentices to help you." Ge Guangxing is a smart child, and his eyes suddenly brightened. Ge Guangyu glared at him. "Do you know what to do now?" She looked like an elder sister. Ge Guangxing nodded hurriedly, picked up a chicken leg and put it into his mother's bowl. Sensing his sister's gaze, he picked up another chicken leg and passed it over with a strong desire to survive. This made Ge Guangyu glare at him again. "My waist has become two inches thicker, you are harming me." Ge Guangxing's chicken drumsticks were almost all delivered to her bowl. Hearing this, he hurriedly took them back, took a bite and said, "I wanted to harm myself, I just made a mistake." Seeing his appearance, the mother and daughter couldn't help laughing. Ge Gen heard that his wife's business was doing well after leaving the Ge family, but he didn't believe it at first. Several people said this, and he couldn't bear to believe it. So, he hurried to the alley to take a peek. Sure enough, he saw many young women surrounding the door of the shop that was being renovated. When they left, they all carried one or more flowers and embroidery in their hands. Liu Yuniang was particularly sensitive to other people's gazes. She noticed that someone was spying on her, but she couldn't see anyone when she looked up. So she simply got up and went out for a walk, and then she found Ge Gen in the alley. When the two met, Liu Yuniang's face was calm and she looked away as if she hadn't seen him. Ge Gen was caught peeping and was embarrassed. Seeing that she treated him as if he were a stranger, deliberately not looking at him as if she didn't know him, he became a little angry. "Manyue, where did you learn this skill?" "It's none of your business." Seeing his ugly expression, Liu Yuniang smiled and said, "There is something I think you'll be interested in." As soon as Ge Gen saw her expression, he knew that she had no good intentions, but he couldn't help but want to hear it. Liu Yuniang said: "Master Li came to see me." Seeing Ge Gen paying attention, she continued, "He heard from somewhere that our family had a big fight over the birthday gift, and came to me specifically to ask about the inside story."

After hearing this, Ge Gen's expression changed greatly: "What did you say?" "I told the truth." Liu Yuniang saw his expression getting worse and said with a smile, "You know  I won't lie. I either won't say anything or I'll tell the truth. Yan Songyu harmed me so badly, and she still refused to admit her guilt. Why should I hide it for her?"

 Ge Gen was speechless: "What happened next?" "Master Li asked her whether she wanted to leave on her own or get a divorce." Seeing Ge Gen's livid expression, Liu Yuniang waved her hand: "I see you don't want to hear it, so I'd better stop talking."

Ge Gen: "..." She must have done it on purpose. How can you say that you should stop talking at the most critical part? "I want to hear it." Ge Gen took two steps forward: "Then, what did Songyu choose?" Liu Yuniang asked back: "You want to hear it, but do I have to say it?" She smiled at him: "I won't say anymore. You can find out for yourself!" Ge Gen: "..." It's really annoying to be left hanging like that. There was no way he could ask questions if he stayed any longer, so he turned around and left. He planned to go to the vicinity of the Li family to inquire.

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