#but uh.... the one has fuck all to do with the other

[bradshawed]

"Cuff him!"

summary — the one in which franco steals more than your grapes

warnings — fem!reader, use of y/n, pinterest images, stolen grapes, and flirty franco!

note — i have the biggest crush on this man, he's so pretty and for what?! so naturally, i couldn't resist writing my first f1 smau about him. please lmk what you think and if you'd like a new year's mini series or a part 2. happy holidays xo

drew's masterlist !

...

liked by francolapinto, alexandrasaintmleux and others

yourusername has anyone seen my grapes?

alexandrasaintmleux amour, who has stolen your grapes? ⤷ yourusername a thief i fear but who needs a man at midnight when i have you! ⤷ alexandrasaintmleux my thoughts exactly ⤷ charles_leclerc 🤨

user1 who cares about the grapes, is that a new tattoo??

user2 more importantly, what's franco doing in the likes ⤷ user3 fr he got here before me ⤷ alexandrasaintmleux and me 🤨 ⤷ charles_leclerc what are you up to francolapinto?? liked by francolapinto

user2 sending franco thoughts and prayers ⤷ aussiegrit he'll need it ⤷ user2 ahahah he's fucked

user4 why is everyone talking about franco on the queen's post?? like happy new year everyone but this is mark webber's daughter we're talking about and you're all talking about a man?? liked by aussiegrit, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, lilymhe, lewishamilton, landonorris, desireinglander, fernandoalo_oficial, scuderiaferrari, mclaren, and more

user5 not the whole grid being here-

user6 attention seeking bitch user6 blocked by francolapinto, aussiegrit, fernandoalo_oficial, lewishamilton and more

user7 all i'm asking is for a chance with yourusername liked by francolapinto

...

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and others

francolapinto these yours? yourusername

aussiegrit how can i dislike a post?

user1 oh he bold bold ⤷ aussiegrit no, none of this. i don't like this

user2 an f1 driver that can cook you dinner, bag him yourusername! ⤷ charles_leclerc what's that supposed to mean? ⤷ landonorris yeah, what do you mean by that user2? ⤷ user2 well uh you see.. ⤷ francolapinto stop ganging up on my fans

user3 grape thief, cuff him!! ⤷ yourusername kinky

yourusername so you're the one who's been stealing my grapes? ⤷ francolapinto indeed mi princesa, you want them back? ⤷ yourusername do you come attached? ⤷ francolapinto i can make certain arrangements

user4 i would've folded ⤷ alexandrasainmleux she did

[ariaste]

I've also been getting annoyed about this lately! I agree with all of the above, AND I have another couple of flawed features to point out about this type of language.

FIRST: "Normalize [thing]" and "Destigmatize [thing]" are imperative sentences. Not only that, they are singularly useless imperative sentences. Why? Because no individual is ever capable of personally destigmatizing something all by themself. By the very definition of the words, those are not actions that a single person can ever take: Destigmatization is a collective, communal process that happens slowly over time and throughout society, and it happens with baby steps: educating people, inviting persuadable people into conversations and connections, and the small, everyday, unglamorous actions we take towards positive change ("Volunteer!" "Donate!" "Don't try to pet service dogs when they're working!" "Excuse me, can you spare a dollar? Oh, thank you!" "Pass the salt, please!"). THOSE are useful imperatives because they are directly, individually actionable. Destigmatization itself is not actionable -- it is the END RESULT of a lot of people doing a bunch of other, smaller actions. So if you're going to go around making imperative statements and telling people what to do, at least point them in the direction of something they CAN do.

Except, whoops, fun fact: Humans really hate being told what to do. If your goal is to advocate for [thing] to be more accepted and acknowledged, then using this kind of rhetorically forceful shorthand might not actually be serving the goal you're pursuing. Sure, the people who already agree with you will also be nodding along and saying "Yes, destigmatize [thing]".... But for the people who don't know about [thing], the people you're trying to reach and educate, the people who are PERSUADABLE -- those people, since they are humans, still really hate being told what to do. At best, their reaction is "[shrug] whatever, I don't have a horse in this race." At middle, their reaction is "Uh, don't tell me what to do." At worst, it's "Fuck you, I'm gonna dig in my heels and say no for other reason but the fact you got imperative at me." (We all know somebody like that.)

A more effective persuasive tactic is to use an I-statement (we know about this as a best-practice for resolving relationship arguments, yes? But it works in many other circumstances as well). Examples:

Normalize trans rights. -> I support trans rights.

Destigmatize mental illness. -> I wish it was easier to talk openly about mental illness.

Normalize giving your friends flowers for Valentine's Day. -> I'm going to give my friends flowers on Valentine's Day, I want to make this a thing!

SECOND: Notice how the normalize/destigmatize statements implicitly erase you from the conversation. This is a problem for two reasons -- For one thing, your voice is important, and your opinion is important. For another thing, humans are so much more easily persuaded when there is another human involved, rather than an empty, near-meaningless, passive echo-chamber statement. It's like the difference between active voice and passive voice: "I read the book" versus "The book was read". The human brain is hardwired to find the former more interesting and engaging -- we're a social species!

Now, I'm not saying that merely switching your language is going to ✨magically✨ make your bigoted uncle stop saying bigoted things -- that particular project is always going to take a lot more hard work! But your aunt (you know, the one who has never been socially permitted to consider her own mental health even once?) is going to respond much differently to that "I wish" statement than she does to the "Destigmatize" statement. Why? Because she doesn't know what to say in response to the "Destigmatize" statement. She's not online, my guy, she doesn't know that meme, and even if she did, it doesn't leave an opening for a personal response. On the other hand, if you say something along the lines of "I wish it was more acceptable to talk openly about mental illness", then she might be curious about what you mean; she might express worry about whether you're doing okay; she might, through the course of the ensuing conversation, tentatively open up to you about her own struggles, whether that's with post-partum depression or alcoholism or anxiety or that nebulous "sometimes it's just... it's just really hard :(" feeling she doesn't know how to label.

THIRD: Repeating something ad nauseum is a way of carving it into your brain... except the thing you're implicitly re-emphasizing to yourself might not be the thing you actually want to learn. Using a lot of imperative-focused language reaffirms a worldview that there is a Single Correct Way for people to behave, and that way is the way that You Personally Have Espoused, and that therefore You Can Never Be Wrong. That's... kind of a fucked up worldview to have -- it is the one of the building blocks of fascism and authoritarianism. It also reduces our capacity for nuance, flexibility, openness to new perspectives, critical thinking, and a tolerance for enough of a margin of error that we can extend grace and forgiveness for people who are still learning (and so that we can receive grace and forgiveness from others when WE are still learning). If we believe that we can never be wrong, then what happens when eventually we're wrong about something? Disaster.

The I-statements, on the other hand, implicitly emphasize to your worldview that while your voice and opinion ARE important, they are YOURS -- and therefore other people's voices and opinions also have room to be important as well. Speaking personally, when I use I-statements, I feel more empowered as an individual. I feel like I have stood up for my beliefs and done a small brave thing by expressing what *I* think -- ME! Not a faceless crowd that I can lose myself in (and therefore lose my agency, my sense of responsibility, and perhaps even my ethics), but Me! Myself!

FINALLY: If I say "Destigmatize giving your friends flowers for Valentine's Day" then that doesn't tell my brain that I have to do anything different or be part of the change I want to see in the world. Structuring the sentence that way gives me permission to lay around and continue on exactly as I have before, and make no adjustments to my own behavior, and wait around for giving-friends-flowers to be a Thing before I start participating in it. But if I say, "I really want to give my friends flowers for Valentine's" or "I'm going to give my friends flowers for Valentine's" -- now that's a PLAN. That makes my brain go, "Oh! Right! I can take action! I have agency! I can be the change I want to see in the world! Things become unremarkable when I make them unremarkable! I do not have to wait for the faceless crowd of Society to collectively shift, I do not have to do things on Society's schedule! I CAN JUST DO IT."

Flowers on Valentine's Day is a funny, lighthearted example, but I'm sure that you can see how impactful that linguistic change would be for more serious issues (Example: "Destigmatize mental illness" versus "I'm going to make sure my family knows they can talk to me about their mental health struggles, and I'm going to be warm and supportive and compassionate when they do"). Notice as well that it is much HARDER to say something that's an actual fucking commitment. "It's terrible how the elderly are treated; we need to normalize volunteering at nursing homes" is muuuuuch easier to say than, "You know what, I'm going to call around to nursing homes and see if I can volunteer, I'd love to play some board games with grandmas."

Conclusion: In the words of the ancient sages, "If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself." You're allowed to be part of the change. You're allowed to stand up for your beliefs as YOURSELF. You're allowed to talk about why YOU PERSONALLY care about the things you find important. You do not have to erase your individuality to be progressive -- and in fact, it is your individuality that gives you the power to personally be a force for good in the world.

'can we normalize this'

'we need to normalize that'

can you all shut the fuck up for a minute and reconsider how constantly demanding normalization only retrenches the moral position that weird = bad?

like no you're not actually going to be able to normalize a lot of stuff, because it's statistically unusual or aberrant. you can't normalize shit that is not by any definition normal.

what you need to do is fucking stand up for the weirdos, freaks, and deviants, and remind everyone who is normal that their position just makes them normal. not good, not right, not correct, not better, not perfect, not beyond reproach or improvement.

being weird isn't bad. stop normalizing that, already.

[broodwolf221]

Thoughts on the Solavellan emphasis in Veilguard; somewhat fandom critical

usual caveat that this is not @ anyone - i care about people who have expressed frustration with this, and i am not using this space to criticize any individual 💖 however, this is in response to generalized hatred towards solavellan shippers/the ship itself in fandom spaces

The short version is: I think the narrative emphasis on a solavellan worldstate makes perfect sense.

In DAI, all romances get closure. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on this point, as I haven't gone through and fully done all of them, but all those I have done certainly have closure at the end. I'm including Trespasser as part of the DAI narrative arc, for clarity, but a lot of the relationships had a sense of closure even without the DLC.

Solavellan is the obvious, major exception.

Now, is Veilguard for Solavellan shippers? No! It is its own game, a narrative continuity of a series that has been going on for a long time. But Solas is a key character in both DAI - though we don't realize just how key for most of the game - and DAVG.

Solas being a key character means, by extension, Solavellan is a key romance. Note that I am not saying it is the "canon" romance. But Solavellan has ties to the overall narrative of both DAI and DAVG in a way no other DAI canon ship does. It's not necessary to the narrative of DAVG or the conclusion of the game, but it does play a significant role. As such, of course they paid more attention to it.

And what I said earlier, about closure? The only way for the Solavellan ship to gain closure is through concluding Solas' narrative arc - so it could not be achieved in DAI, only DAVG. For the original Solavellan shippers when the game was new, they've been waiting ten years - I think they're allowed a little excitement and satisfaction.

Now, would it have been nice for them to pay as much attention to the other romances the Inquisitor could have? Of course! I also imagine they wanted to. But game dev in general is a nightmare industry and this particular game went through so many hurdles. So I really can't blame them for focusing on developing the Inquisitor romance that had the most potential bearing on the plot of this game, and kind of losing the others.

None of this is to say that complaints about that are wrong or should not be made; rather, this post is directed at people who are angry at/blaming (somehow???) Solavellan shippers for the state of the game.

Similarly, it makes sense to me how Solavellan dominates the Solas shipping field. I'm a multishipper at heart and I love writing rarepairs with him, but honestly, every ship with him that isn't with a female Lavellan is a rarepair. And this is natural! It's about that lack of closure. People had a canon romance with their canon Inquisitor and they didn't get any closure on that relationship for ten years, of course they're going to be prevalent in fandom.

I just don't understand the deep frustration/outright hate at times for Solavellan as a ship or for Solavellan shippers. It's weird. Their - our - presence, even dominance, in fandom spaces has an obvious reason. You're allowed to not like it! To be disappointed or annoyed or whatever. I have no problem with that. But there are always people taking it too far.

Blaming a specific group of shippers in fandom spaces for the outcome of a videogame made by a big industry sure is a choice.

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

so, ive been rewatching season two of arcane, and noticed a few things

in viktor's commune, this is the kid that leads jayce to viktor. i always thought it was like... an odd amount of focus to be put on this character. tho i wasnt really thinking too much of it, because arcane loves to zero in on background characters in a sort 'mulan and the others find a doll in the wreckage of a village' kind of way, you know? look small for big impacts.

putting the rest under a read more because this gets long

now, in ekko's alternate reality in episode seven. i always like watching the crowds of zaunites, mainly searching for easter eggs and any possible connections that i can draw back to our main universe. and i may have found one

here's the crowd watching heimer's little street performance

uh

UH

...........

this is, obviously, the same fucking kid.

what i think is most interesting about this, though, is that in the 'good ending' universe that ekko ended up in, zaun was a community where physical differences and disabilities, like needing a wheel chair as mobility aid, were not seen as something needing to be fixed. it can be implied that there are probably a lot more ways of making things accessible in that version of zaun, and that disabilities dont prohibit zaunites from being with others and doing what they want.

unlike in our universe, where this was clearly not the case. i think that that crowd shot is, in a way, a direct parallel to viktors backstory opening shots.

the group of children playing together as a group, and viktor, another child with a physical disability, is forced to be off by himself. isolated either because of his peers not wanting to be around him, or because the environment around him is just not accessible (most likely both)

they basically hand it to us. singed asks why viktor isn't playing with the other children, and all viktor has to do is show the fact that he is disabled for singed to understand. the inaccessibility and exclusion and ableism is just a fact of life.

so, it makes sense that when viktor gets the ability to heal others, he makes this child able bodied, just like he did for himself. viktor can't even conceive of a society like the zaun and piltover that ekko ended up in, because his whole life he has been cast aside due to his disability.

its just interesting to me that they made the child who brings jayce to viktor at the commune be another young zaunite with a mobility aid, just like viktor was. especially how later, jayce is the one to tell viktor the monologue about how he was never broken, and his disability wasnt something he needed to completely remove, because it was a part of him, and who he was already was enough.

just some cool food for thought!

[thef1diary]

I don’t know if you’ve done this before BUT in case you haven’t

What if the reader has a thing for Dirtbag! Danny’s thigh tattoos and he lets them color them in but one thing leads to another and it gets a lil spicy

-🎀

— hi nonnie, welcome welcome. Oh to colour Daniel’s tattoos in, the ones high up on his thigh 😵‍💫 18+ content below

Daniel’s sprawled out on his couch, shirtless and cocky, one leg propped up on the coffee table while you sat cross-legged beside him. The markers in your hand trembled slightly as you stared at the intricate tattoos on his thigh, his inked skin just begging for your touch.

“Go on,” he said lazily, spreading his legs a little wider and flashing you that shit-eating grin. “Colour ‘em in, sweetheart. You’ve been eyeing ‘em all day like you’re dying to get your hands on me.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the way your cheeks heated. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you mumbled, uncapping the marker.

His low chuckle sent a ripple of heat through you, but you focused on your task, dragging the marker across his skin. His muscles tensed under your hand, his thigh flexing slightly, and you knew he was watching you, enjoying every second of the attention.

“That’s it,” he drawled, his voice thick and taunting. “Such a good little artist. Maybe I’ll hire you to keep my tats fresh.”

You snorted softly, but the teasing lilt in his voice made your hand falter. His gaze burned into you, heavy and unrelenting, as you worked your way up his thigh, closer to the hem of his shorts.

“Careful now,” he said, his tone darkening, full of mock warning. “You keep touching me like that, and I might start thinking you’re doing this on purpose.”

Your breath hitched when his hand shot out, gripping your wrist and stilling your movements. “What’s wrong, baby?” he murmured, his smirk deepening. “Too shy to admit you’ve been dying to get between my legs all along?”

You swallowed hard, trying to pull your hand away, but he held firm. “Danny—”

“Uh-uh,” he interrupted, yanking you forward until you were kneeling between his thighs. “You’re gonna be honest with me now. Tell me how bad you want it. Tell me how long you’ve been staring at my thighs, getting wet just thinking about riding them.”

Your cheeks burned, but the heat pooling low in your stomach betrayed you. He knew. He always knew.

“Thought so,” he said smugly, his other hand trailing up your bare thigh, his fingers rough against your soft skin. “C’mere, sweetheart. Let me give you what you’ve been too much of a coward to ask for.”

He pulled you onto his lap, his hands firm on your hips as he guided you over one of his thighs. The thick muscle pressed against your covered cunt, and you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders.

“Fuck, you’re already soaking through your panties,” he groaned, rocking you against him. “Dirty little thing, getting off on my ink. You’re pathetic, you know that?”

You whimpered, his degrading words only fueling the fire inside you as he forced you to grind against him, the friction driving you insane.

“Look at you,” he taunted, his voice dripping with mockery. “Humping my thigh like a desperate little slut. Is this what you wanted, huh? To get used like the needy fucking mess you are?”

You nodded weakly, too far gone to care about the humiliation laced in his tone. He tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze, and the smirk on his lips was downright sinful.

“Beg me,” he demanded, his fingers digging into your hips to still your movements. “Beg me to let you cum all over my thigh, or I’ll make you sit here and squirm until you’re crying for it.”

“Please, Danny,” you gasped, your voice shaky and desperate. “Please let me cum. I need it.”

“Good girl,” he murmured, releasing your hips and letting you move again. “Go on, sweetheart. Make a mess on me.”

You ground down harder, the rough denim of his shorts only adding to the intensity as he watched you fall apart, a wicked grin plastered on his face.

“Fuck, you look so good like this,” he muttered, his hands roaming your body. “So fucking helpless, just using me to get off. Bet you’ll be thinking about this every time you see my tattoos from now on, won’t you?”

Your moans grew louder as the pressure built, and his hand tangled in your hair, pulling your head back to expose your neck. He leaned in, his teeth grazing your skin as he groaned, “that’s it, baby. Cum for me. Show me how much you fucking love it.”

You shattered, your body trembling as the orgasm ripped through you, leaving you a panting, boneless mess in his lap. You collapsed against Daniel’s chest, the aftershocks of your orgasm leaving you breathless and boneless. His hands smoothed down your back, holding you steady as you tried to catch your breath. But then his eyes dropped to his thigh, and you didn’t miss the low tsk that escaped his lips.

“Would you look at that,” he drawled, his tone both mocking and amused. His fingers traced the smudged lines of marker where your wetness had smeared your careful colouring. “All that work you put into making my tats look pretty, and your needy little wet cunt went and ruined it.”

want more dirtbag!danny? send me an ask with your filthiest thoughts and it’ll get answered during one of my dirty drabble days

[ellouchi]

One-shot: taking a bath with Jimmy (gn/just hints of suggestiveness)

Disclaimer: none? You know how Jimmy is.

Side notes: super indulgent if you couldn't tell. I wrote this in one day, sorry if this sucks ass. Don't judge me on the order of things! Sorry if it breaks the illusion or something.

"If you needed an excuse to grope me, you could've just asked" Jimmy teased sarcastically, pulling his smelly jersey over his head and dropping it carelessly onto the growing heap of clothes laying on the cold bathroom tiles.

"Uh-huh, you know exactly what I mean." You punched his arm playfully, knowing too well how Jimmy would respond to your proposition in the first place. "We will just take a bath together and that's the end of it."

"And that's it? Really? I find it hard to believe that you don't have any ulterior motives. Besides, I can wash myself just fine without another pair of hands getting in my way, what's the point of us washing together if we won't be fucking?" Jimmy tried again, this time locking his eyes with the buckle of his belt. He could tell you could tell he felt sceptical about this whole idea. From where he looked at it, it didn't make sense, just like countless other things you suggested doing ever since you two became "a couple". However, most of times he enjoyed doing said activities with you, albeit never getting rid of his wariness and cheeky attitude often accompanied by lewd comments.

Once Jimmy was naked, he folded his arms and looked at you expectantly. It was rather an endearing sight, and as much as you would have loved to memorize every detail and curve of your boyfriend's physique, you opted for flinging the last articles of clothes from your own body.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get in!"

It's not like Jimmy has never taken a bath before, it was just the one you had prepared he had a problem with. He scowled back at the hot steam rising in puffy clouds, the kind of temperatures he didn't get to experience before on his skin. The water glimmered with a thin orange sheen from the bath bomb you bought at the store, it gave out a nice smell of grapefruit at least. You observed Jimmy eyeing the tub with mistrust, most likely asking himself if this was even appropriate for humans to wash in. You wondered if Jim would ask you if this would leave him more dirty than before he got in or would this give him third degree burns.

"Looks like Satan's cauldron straight up from hell. Are you sure it won't boil me alive?" So it was the second option.

"I take those bathes all the time and look at me: I'm both clean and unharmed. So quickly get in, unless you want me to manhandle you like a cat."

With a dragged out 'fine' Jimmy dipped his foot into the water, waiting for the burn which never came, and then finally sat in the tub with a wince. The water was way hotter to what he was used to, that much was clear: he could feel the warmth instantly envelope his body like he was wrapped in the blanket set on fire. You followed suit, settling behind him and pulling his body from behind to rest against yours.

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Jimmy asked, scenes from different movies flashing somewhere in the back of his mind.

"Next time for sure, but now just lay like this and try to relax" you reassured, not offering any further explanations.

And so Jimmy went silent, just resting there in your embrace, watching the flicker of candles you previously scattered around the bathroom "to add to the atmosphere". Being acutely aware of your exposed body just below him, soft and inviting, really put his lower part of the body to a test. It would be so easy for Jimmy to flip around and pin your wrists above your head, to glide his free hand from your wet flustered face down to your bare abdomen. And yet, the man has closed his eyes instead, listening in to the soft melody you put on the background, trusting you this one time. He had already decided that if this bathing time didn't prove to be worthwhile, he would take matters into his own hands instead. Later.

Jimmy almost jolted from his nap when he felt your hands suddenly snake from his chest to his shoulders. Your fingers begun to slowly knead his tense muscles, smoothing out knots formed from the tension. It wasn't easy, but the water managed to relax his body quite a bit for you to work your magic. Meanwhile Jimmy tried his best to suppress the tremor of pleasure running through him each time you found a new spot to massage. Fuck he never knew how badly he needed that. He could moan alone just from this, but he didn't want you to think something weird of him or think he was this easy to please. Still, without any words you could tell Jimmy felt fantastic: the way his body slacken against yours, hear how he silently sighed, and sense his big hand lightly gripping your knee. You swore you heard him swear under his breath when you dipped your thumbs between his shoulders blades.

"Jimmy, the water is getting cold" you hinted. The man understood it was time for washing, so he lazily rose into a sitting position, folding his knees to the chest.

"Mmm I'm awake I'm awake..." Jimmy grumbled when you poured as much water as you could over his head.

"I know silly, I will wash your hair now" you explained, reaching behind to grab a brand new shampoo bottle you bought for Jimmy. That men's "three in one" shampoo will haunt you for days to come, you always wondered who were those men who bought this stuff but here was Jimmy, living under your roof. He even had the nerve to complain about you wasting products when you chucked the bottle to trash.

You carefully rubbed the gel into Jimmy's scalp, humming to the changing tune of the music, minding tangled locks which you gently combed through to even out. As you massaged his head further, the delicious fruity scent followed into Jimmy's nostrils, the smell he initially attributed to lady's shampoo now seeming more unisex than he initially thought. When you lightly scratched his scalp, the man almost let out a purr, leaning into your touch, following your motions. Jimmy washed his hair all the time, why with you it felt so different?

"Like this... this feels good yeah Jimmy?" You cooed into Jimmy's ear. He couldn't see your face but he could hear your smile in your voice. Obviously, Jimmy enjoyed every second of it, but you relished in too, huh...? He couldn't understand why.

Your boyfriend responded with an affirmative hum as you rinsed his hair, tilting his jaw up so the soapy water couldn't get into his eyes.

Another creaky sound of the bottle being opened disturbed an otherwise silent room, of the shower gel Jimmy assumed. He felt a sponge press onto his neck, moving in circles. The man took it as a sign to lower his head and sit tighter, exposing more of his back for you to wash.

Jimmy had a brief moment of clearance appear out of nowhere. Stretching his back like that has never felt so easy before, his skin and muscles would tug at his bones, despite the fact that he practiced weightlifting for so many years. The tension sitting in his body, akin to a spring ready to burst, suddenly just not being there. He couldn't deny that your touch...no, not only that, your care and your presence put his body and mind to the state of ease he couldn't remember feeling ever from anyone else in his life. Hell, when was the last time Jimmy exposed his back like that to anyone? When was the last time someone's hands delicately touched his body with nothing but care?

When was the last time he was taken care of in such an intimate, non sexual way...?

You stoped moving the sponge in your hand when you felt Jimmy's frame lightly shaking. Did you find a ticklish spot? You were about to tease your boyfriend, oblivious to the revelations the man came up with, until you ears picked upon a chipped sob. Your mood suddenly darkened.

"Jim? Hey, what's wrong? Hey...."

The man didn't respond instantly, his shoulders buckling inwards before he spoke "...'s nothing, sorry." He replied as flatly as he could muster, responding to his own reflection on the water.

"Did I do something wro--" you couldn't help asking before your question got cut off.

"Stop. No, don't say that. You didn't do... anything wrong... It's me..."

The last word felt like a punch to the gut. You desperately wanted Jimmy to turn around, for you to wipe his tears away and tell the sweetest reassurance, but you knew it was better to let him be. Jimmy wouldn't want you to see him weeping like this.

"Do you want me to hug you?"

"Yeah..." He stopped briefly "... please".

Without a beat, you carefully laid your warm body on Jimmy's cooling back, putting your cheek on the backside of his shoulder. Your arms embraced his waist protectively, occasionally moving to caress his sides. The water was starting to go cold, the candles almost burned to the end.

The music continued to quietly hum in the corner.

[jackles-whore]

Peircing - D.Winchester x f!Reader

Summary: Dean discovers y/n has some peircings

Authors Note: I wrote this a while ago

Warnings: Smut, fingering, nipple sucking, peircings (I think that's it, please let me know if there's more)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x f!Reader

“Dean, I- why does it matter if I keep my shirt on during sex? You only need access to my pussy, and you get that” I mumbled as Dean asked me again why I refused to take off my shirt off during sex.

“Uh, because boobs are the best and I love you” He scoffed, pulling me against his chest so my back pressed against him.

“Well, in the past I’ve had a few…bad reactions” I mumbled, looking to the ground.

He turned me around in one swift motion, his hands gripping my hips as he trapped me between him and the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His eyes darkened.

“Like, guys didn’t exactly like them… they want pure little things” I mumbled, not wanting to say it.

A look of confusion crossed his features. He didn’t know that as soon as I was old enough I got my nipples pierced and every guy I’d been with since had thought I was pure until they saw my little accessories. I’d start leaving my bra or shirt on during sex having grown ashamed of them, but a part of me still liked them and refused to take them out unless they needed to be cleaned or to switch the jewellery.

“Baby, I promise I’ve seen it all. Yours are perfect, I just know it” He said reassuringly, one hand snaking up my side to cup my boob but I stopped him.

“Dean- I’ve been broken up with over this,” I said.

“Well, clearly those guys don’t know what they lost. I promise I won't leave you over your boobs baby. I love boobs, please show me” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss under my jaw.

“Fine but you say one bad thing and I’m gone” I said sternly.

“Show me"

I slowly lifted my shirt over my head, my breasts now exposed. Dean’s eyes widened in shock as he saw the little metal balls on the sides of my nipples.

“That’s the problem in your relationships?” He mumbled, cupping my right breast and running circles with his thumb over my pierced nipple.

“Yes,” I sucked in a breath as I felt my nipples harden under his touch.

He flicked his gaze to my eyes and licked his lips, looking at my boobs again then my eyes with a pleading look. I nodded slowly, knowing what he wanted to do. He lifted me and sat me on the counter in one swift motion and his mouth was immediately attached to my nipple, swirling around the nipple and piercing with his tongue while his hand toyed with my other free nipple. My back arched into his touch as my head slowly fell back, my hands tangling in his short hair.

“Dean” I mumbled as a shaky breath escaped my lips.

“Mmm” He hummed against my chest, pulling away and moving to the other nipple.

“Fuck-” I whispered.

“You’re so sexy baby” He mumbled against my chest, trailing kisses over my chest.

His free hand dipped into my pants, feeling me through my panties, a soft moan escaping my lips. He slowly pushed my panties to the side as he sunk a single finger inside of me. My head fell and rested on his shoulder, his mouth still attached to my nipple, as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of me, his thumb resting on my clit and rubbing slow circles over it sending shivers up my spine.

“Fuck Dean- Just like that” I moaned, biting his shoulder softly as he curled his finger hitting my g-spot.

I could feel the knot building and slowly tightening. Closer and closer but not close enough.

He added a second finger, stretching me out, circling my clit and curling into my G-spot. The coil tightened into a tight not.

“Fuck- God Dean- I’m close- I’m gonna-” I bit down on his shoulder again as I clenched down in his fingers and came all over them.

He slowly pumped his fingers, helping me down from my high and pulling away from my nipples.

“Your shirt is coming off during sex from now on” He mumbled before pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

Thank you @jasvtsc for the free seperaters ❤️

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Little Darling

Epilogue

It's 1997, and Elvis is still alive and well. He quit music in 1972 after a successful world tour, and now he runs Presley Studios - teaching people karate across America. His daughter and grandchildren are regular visitors at Graceland, and when he’s in Memphis he likes to do a little teaching. His life is quieter now, though. Most of the Mafia have gone - going to live their own lives - and after his divorce from his second wife, Elvis is sworn off women for good. Will a Welsh girl with a wicked sense of humour be the one to make him break his promise to himself not to fall in love again?

Need to catch up? Go here.

Pairing: Old Man!Elvis x OC - Tegan, a Welsh girl he meets at karate.

Word count: 1.3K

TWs: Just a little dirty talk really.

A/N: Well, this is the end! Thanks to everyone who has interacted with this fic - it was a labour of love and I have cherished every single comment, reblog and message 💕

When Tegan wakes the next morning she feels the events of the night before in her body before she remembers them. As they start to come back to her, slowly at first and then more and more rapidly she feels a smile spreading across her face. She’d enjoyed last night. A lot. She rolls over to find Elvis already sat up in bed, reading. Groaning and stretching, she tries to wake herself up properly. It’d been really late when Jerry had finally left their bed for his own; they’d spent hours talking together about all sorts of things. 

“Mornin’ sunshine.”

Elvis closes the book and puts it down on the bedside table, looking at his girlfriend as she peers back through half-open eyes. 

“Mmmm. ‘Raur.”

“How ya feelin’?”

She closes one eye and squints at him through the other. “Thoroughly fucked.”

That earns her a belly laugh, one of her absolute favourite Elvis reactions. “Well that’s coz ya were, baby.”

She closes both eyes and puts her face in her hands, giggling. “I loved it,” she admits, still hiding. 

“Hmmm. Well it was a damn good Christmas gift, considerin’ ya didn’t even know Jerry was comin’ until the night before.”

She looks up, cautiously. “You think I’m a slut, for doing that? I only just met the guy…”

Elvis shakes his head, leaning down to kiss the top of hers. “Baby, I used ta fuck a different girl every night on some tours. Met ‘em, liked ‘em, made ‘em cum. Plus I know ya only jus’ met ‘im, but Jerry’s been my best friend fer years.”

Tegan thinks about this as she slowly sits up. “You ever do this with Stella?”

He blinks in surprise. “Uh… no.”

“Oh.”

“I uh… she wanted the picket fence life.”

She shifts to lean against him. “What kind of life do you want?”

“One with you in it, honey.”

She smiles against his pyjama top. “Me too.”

“But, uh, not one with Jerry… y’know…”

“I’m not sure I do know.”

Elvis sighs. “Yer makin’ me say it, again.”

“I mean, last night you told me you and Jerry used to take it in turns to fuck women you met on tour. And now you’re going all shy again?”

“I was a little drunk last night, darlin’.”

Tegan looks up at his face from her position with her head against his shoulder. “What’re you trying to say, ‘raur? Spit it out.”

Another deep sigh. “Last night was fun. But I don’t want Jerry as a permanent fixture in our bedroom.”

Tegan raises an eyebrow. 

“I don’t want him fuckin’ ya all the time!” Elvis snaps, exasperated. “Yer mine. I don’t mind if he borrows ya, under supervision… on special occasions y’know. But not…” he sighs again and waves a finger around in a circle. “This… ain’t a thing.”

Tegan smiles at his possessiveness. She feels like she ought to be offended by him talking about her like she’s a rare library book, but instead it makes her feel all warm inside. 

“I enjoyed last night a lot,” she begins, wrapping her arm around him. “I’m glad we did it. And if you and Jerry want to do it again before he leaves, then I’d be down. But I don’t want anything more than that. One boyfriend is enough.”

It’s Elvis’ turn to raise an eyebrow. “Ya wanna do it again?”

She giggles into his shoulder. “Mmm. Yeah.”

“Well, we’ll see about that, little girl…”

***

Elvis, Tegan and Jerry have fun together again more than once, but after Elvis’ massive New Year’s Eve party Jerry goes back to LA, and although they both miss him they’re glad to be back to just the two of them for a while. They get professional photos taken of the two of them with Coffi, and the best one - where they have forgotten the camera and are just staring into one another’s eyes, giggling over some shared joke or other - hangs with the other family shots on the wall in the living room of Graceland. They share their time between the mansion and the apartment, and despite Elvis’ best attempts to persuade her to give it up, Tegan continues working at the recording studio, though she drops down to three days a week as a compromise. She finally takes her grading seriously, and by the end of the year she’s a purple belt. Elvis is proud of her, but he still thinks she could practise more at home. 

He travels less for work now, feeling content staying in Memphis for months at a time. There are still times when he has to pay one of the studios on the other side of the country a visit, and Tegan can’t always take time off work to go with him. He misses her like crazy, but she’s secretly a little relieved to have time to herself, though of course she doesn’t tell him that. 

One day after a trip to Kansas, he presents her with a big box with a pink bow on the outside. 

“Jus’ somethin’ for ya for next time I’m away.”

Tegan’s mind boggles at the possibilities, but nothing she thinks of is what she eventually finds in the box. 

“It’s…a bear?”

“Squeeze ‘im.”

Tegan puts both hands around the middle of the teddy and squeezes.

“Daddy misses ya, Tegan bach.” The teddy bear says, in Elvis’ unmistakable drawl. 

Tegan squeals, then giggles, then squeezes it again to see if it does the same thing, which it does. 

“He’s from build-a-bear,” Elvis explains. “Got ‘im from the second store in the country. Ya make ‘im yerself, put a little heart in him…” he smiles, bashfully. “...an’ ya can record a little thing for ‘im ta say. Got them ta open the store in the middle of the night fer me so I didn’t get papped doin’ it.”

“Aww ‘raur!” Tegan throws an arm around Elvis’ neck, cuddling him close and holding the bear out to the side slightly to avoid squashing him. “He’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

“Glad ya like ‘im, honey.”

They pull apart and she looks down at the bear again. “He needs a name.”

Elvis’ arm slips around her waist and he presses his lips to her ear. “Why don’tcha call ‘im Elvis?”

Tegan pushes on his chest, laughing. “Don’t be filthy now! This is a nice, cute bear!”

“Me? Filthy? I don’t know whatcha mean, Queenie.”

He’s desperately trying to keep a straight face, but Tegan can see his eyes shining with amusement. 

“You’re giving me a bear to keep me company when you’re away, and you want me to name him Elvis?” Her eyebrow is raised and her hand is on her hip, but she’s struggling to keep from laughing, too. 

“Uh huh. Ya can cuddle up ta him in bed when I’m not there.”

“Right, right, yeah of course. That’s all you meant.”

“Sure.” His lip is quivering at this point, as he tries desperately not to grin. “I mean I wouldn’t want ta get between a girl an’ her bear, and whatever else she might wanna do with him when she’s missin’ me…”

“Elvis Presley.” Tegan uses her best school teacherish tone, but eventually the pressure of trying not to laugh gets to be too much and they both burst into peals of laughter. 

“What?!”

She hits him with the bear, inadvertently making the voice go off and their hysterics even worse. 

“Hey, you’ll hurt ‘im!”

“I’ll hurt you in a minute!”

They keep giggling as Elvis pulls her in close, pressing his forehead against hers. 

“Yer always makin’ me laugh, little darlin’,” he breathes. “‘M glad I came ta teach that karate class.”

“I’m glad too, ‘raur.”

“Don't know what I'd do without ya, Queenie.”

She smirks. “Well I can get you your own bear if you really want…”

***

Taglist:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978 @wildhorseinkansas @pocketfulofpresley @dkayfixates @iloveelvisss @kxnnxy

[luneemeritus]

"The entire point is that Stolas' behaviour towards Via CHANGED. That he was always there for Via her entire life, because they were literally each other's entire world and only support system, to the point they were unhealthily codependent on each other."

THIS. THIS. THIIIISSSSS.

They only had each other! They were each other's world! Stolas sacrificed 17 years of his fucking life, being abused by that fucking monster, all for his daughter's sake. His main mistake is that he hid Via the truth to prevent her from being harmed, which led her to believe "everything was fine until he cheated." Even when he had the chance to explain the situation in LooLoo Land, he decided to keep it to himself, which is also a mistake although it's understanble (like, no one wants to tell their kid "hey, your mother abused me my entire life, we were forced to marry and never loved each other, and uh, you were concieved throught me being raped" like. that's a horrific and delicate thing to talk about). That's the point, it makes sense for Via to blame Stolas because she was kept in the dark! She doesnt know about her parents' arranged marriage! She's also a victim of Stella's abuse (neglecting + being forced to witness her dad being abused), which also explains why she blames Stolas. She was born into this situation and probably "thinks it's normal."*

We as an audience are suppose to understand that, even though Via has her reasons to blame Stolas, Stolas is not wrong or a bad/neglective father. He did what he could to search a small bit of happines that was denied of him since he was a child, and he also saved Blitz's life which was more than the right thing to do. Unfortunately some people chose to be as oblivious as Via, not because they want to defend her, just because they hate Stolas.

*(big parantheses for personal experience, TW for religious trauma: I've grown up in a cult. I mentioned this sometimes before. For more years, I thought that having my father describing how "deviant women"(specially sexworkers), LGBTQIA+ people and "pagans" deserved to be abused and burn in Hell was normal. I thought that having my father describing how burning your skin was painful to guilt me with the fear of Hell was normal. I thought that having my father saying to me that, if I ever left their... faith, thing, whatever the fuck was that, I would be eternally tortured. This was my normal during years until I started to socialize more and started to realize that, hey, maybe this isnt normal and I'm not safe around a man that dehumanizes sex workers, LGBTQIA+ people and other minorities and openly threatens me and my brother of physical and emotional violence if we disobeyed him. Mayyybe I'm not safe with the man that beated the shit out of me because I was consuming silly childish media that he thought was "sinful". Mayyyybee I'm not safe around the man that isolated me the best he could to keep me away from external influences that would make me realize things were not okay. Got it? Btw I already ran away from my home when I was 10 because I couldn't take it anymore. The police found me and I went back home but anyway I tried. Sometimes, when we are "used" to abuse, we tend to think it's normal or safe. But it isnt normal nor safe.)

Why do people keep acting like Stolas neglected Via her entire life?

We keep getting proof after proof how it's literally the opposite that's true (the most recent one being the artist who worked on the pictures in I Will Be Okay uploaded them in HD).

The entire point is that Stolas' behaviour towards Via CHANGED. That he was always there for Via her entire life, because they were literally each other's entire world and only support system, to the point they were unhealthily codependent on each other.

When Stolas "ruined" their family by "cheating" on Via's mother (aka, trying to find happiness away from his abusive wife) is what's the problem to her, because everything was "fine" until he did that and how she now believes even their happy time together growing up wasn't even real.

Like, when you talk about the mistakes Stolas made, the least you can do is stop acting like he was always like that. There's a reason why Via feels betrayed, because it wasn't always like this and we've known that since the literal 2nd episode.

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: A comic starring Rob Walters, from @sharkneto's fic series shifting together. This is the version of Rob who exists in the canon(ish) Hargreeves' native timeline, who does not know Five well but is now his therapist.

Rob holds a slip of paper with the Commission's phone number.

Rob: "Okay. Calling a company of assassins. Cool."

Rob, dialing the phone and smiling: "Hi, I'm looking to be connected with your employee health department. I'm a psychologist trying to track down a patient's previous health records."

The Commission agent who picked up: "Um. One moment." Then, distant: "Do we have that?"

Rob looks concerned.

Commission Agent: "Would the Office of Agent Fitness help you?"

Rob, head in hands: "Is that the employee health department."

Commission Agent: "It's the Office of Agent Fitness."

Rob, regaining composure: "Okay. Sure, you can transfer me. I'll hold."

Commission Agent: "Certainly! Beatrice, can you go get Don? Can I ask who you're calling about?"

Rob: "I don't think I can legally tell you that."

Commission Agent: "Legally?"

Rob: "You know, HIPAA."

Commission Agent: "Hippa?"

Rob, concerned: "You... DO follow HIPAA, right? As a corporation with employees in the U.S. you're required to protect employee personal info."

Commission Agent: "Well that sounds pretty nice! I don't think they've done that yet."

Rob looks deeply disturbed.

Commission Agent: "Oh look, Don's here! Here you go." He hands Don the phone.

Don: "Office of Agent Fitness, how can I help you?"

Rob, half collapsed on his desk: "Hi my name is Dr. Robert Walters. My patient is a former employee of yours. I'm calling to get his medical records transferred to my office."

Don: "Sure, who's the employee?"

Rob: "Last name Hargreeves."

Don, thinking and not consulting any files: "Hargreeves..."

Rob: "Number Five Hargreeves?"

Don: "Oh, Mr Five!"

The other commission agent spins around and shouts "HE'S CALLING ABOUT MR. FIVE?!" in front of several other agents. On the other end of the line, Rob looks deeply annoyed.

Don: "That guy's a legend! Anyway, yeah we can get you his records. Robert Walters, you said?"

Rob: "Uh, yeah. You can send them to-"

Don: "Oh, we already have an address on file. You'll get them shortly." There's a click as he hangs up. Rob looks horrified.

Rob: "They what."

There is a SHNK sound, and back at home, Sarah Walters opens her fridge. She pulls out a canister from a pneumatic tube.

Sarah: "Uh. The fuck?" End ID.]

So, this is the version of Sarah and Rob from the canon-ish timeline that the Hargreeves return to at the end of Holding It Together. Neither of them ever met the Hargreeves until they got Rob to be Five's therapist. Rob asked if Five has any previous mental health records. Five said "uh the commission might have some, here's the number for the front desk". and now Rob gets to go oh god oh no oh fuck what is this place

almost all of the text was written by @sharkneto i just illustrated it. and did some light editing to make the dialogue fit into a comic panel

aka i work in a doctors office and the concept of trying to ask the commission for medical records was extremely funny to me. thankfully, shark agreed with me lmao. other hilarious jokes here include the fact that they physically get a guy to come down to the office instead of just putting rob on hold and transferring him. bureaucracy is soooooo funny right guys??

[dollwhite]

wow..?

uhh I hope y’all like thisss I js need a lil sum sum to post 😫 yesss I know it’s bad 😭 might be grammatically errors. But that’s ok!! I still need dividers guysss I’m tired of ___

made by Dollwhite

__________________

Wally west had? How do u say…?

No dating life.

And his friends know that his family knew that. everyone that known him knows he has no dating life.

The man just couldn’t pull ok?

so when he got himself a girlfriend and she was bad?..

Wally was NOT going to tell his friends shit. He know they would ask him

“how did U pull HER???” it wasn’t like his friends had no faith in him, they just know he couldn’t pull. Once when he and dick went to a coffee shop, a girl was sitting across from them. Wally asked for her number cuz he thought she was cute….

she said “Ew, your friend can get my number tho.”

Dick brings it up like once a month….

one day y’all were on a date night, and his friends pulled up…..and he asked u to get in the back sit… and to put a blanket over your self.

__________________

“What” you giggled, your right hand hovering over your cheat.

”ik Ik it’s stupid but.. I haven’t told my friends about us.” Wally muttered his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “ we.. have been dating for 2 years and you haven’t told you friends about us!” You yelled at him

who doesn’t tell their friends about their girlfriend. That’s just fucking stupid. And on date night. Do u know how many date nights y’all had to cancel because he was saving the word.

TOO FUCKING MANY

And now his asking you to get in the back sit cover yourself with a blanket? What. The. Fuck.

The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Him.

“you joking?…right.” As he sakes his head no, two cars pulled up next to Wally’s.

“pls [reader] next date next I promise, no matter what happens I won’t let hero work get in the way.” He eyes the looked so pleading.

But..No.

you came to have good time with your boyfriend. Hell it was fucking date night. And if he thought that you were going to climb in the back seat? Because he didn’t want his friends finding out?

He could go fuck himself.

“No, Wally I am in a 300 dollar dress with red bottom heels. I Will not be going any were near that fucking back sit, so fuck you.” You declined. Grabbing your coat and purse.

As you opened your door, and stepped out. You could feel 6? Perhaps more.

Eyes traveling across your body, some wandering to other parts.

___________________

“Who was that?” A familiar voice questioned. “Fuck off dick.”

“Dude, step outside the car”

as Wally stood outside of his black car. He looked around him, and all he could see were the questioning gazes of his friends. “Go ahead. Ask your questions”

“who was that girl?”

“pls tell me that was your cousin”

“How old is she?” “does she know about yk?..?” “Who was that fine babe”

“Can ya give me her number?. Or try and hook us up?”

one at a time people!! Wally complained.

“ok ok uh was that you gf?.” Wallys best friend Dick asked. “yes”

a bunch of aw’s were muttered, but not like the aw cute ones. More like the disappointed ones. __________________________

um that’s the end I hope u guys liked this, I just need sum to post cuz I felt kinda bad for y’all…..and like I was supposed to be working in BRAT part two buttttt my man Wally was just calling my name guyssss. This isn’t my usual writing style, cuz I was rushing 😓 should I make part two of this my brain juices are going again

.

[dreamyluigi]

i'd like to take a minute to explain in weird, unnecessary detail each of my favorite different iterations of luigi. for no reason in particular. he's always the same, but he's always just a little bit different in each series that he's given a significant role. okay here we go

S+

→ 2023 movie: might just barely be my favorite version of his character - i feel like the movie gave him a little sprinkle of all the traits from all the other media in the franchise and solidified his Entire character. he's a coward, but he's extremely brave and resilient, he's just a lil cocky and a lil awkward, and absolutely stuck like glue to his bro. also he's just erm like uh ridiculously handsome. A Very Balanced Luigi Meal i couldn't ask for anything more (other than giving him an even bigger role in the second movie! please! even though i was extremely happy to see him as the damsel!!!)

→ paper luigi: (hopefully) one of the most universally loved because of his arrogance and lil bit extra sass. luigi often acts proud i think as a bit of a mask, but paper luigi really gives us a show of it. he's also just very funny. still very clumsy/accident prone, still very awkward and weak to manipulation/praise. sometimes acts like he's superior to mario (yet still very, very dependent on him and even angry and a lil sassy/spiteful when he's left behind) and i just also think that's really funny. i like how intelligent systems plays around with him, and i hope they continue to do so in the next paper mario luigi game :)

S

→ M&L RPGs: when you are soooo stupid that you are a genius, and actually? you have a special power that no one else in the world has and you're going to save us all? because you are the specialest boy in the world? but you are so stupid.. but you're a fucking genius. what a delightful guy. possibly the silliest of the luigis. always lookin head empty but he can imagine anything. so powerful. but also the clingiest - brothership really did a number for his clingy nature. what do you mean you're gonna cry and die if you're more than 20 steps away from your brother. omg. baby. baby boy. the spoiledest luigi as well.

→ luigi's mansion: i just love how wet and trembly and pathetic he can be. we know he's a coward, but they crank the coward meter up to 1000 with him here - and ghosts being the thing that gets him most is very endearing to me. maybe because i'm not afraid of ghosts idk he's very very cute in these games with his silly expressions and constant jumping and screaming. his weird relationship with e gadd is also just so special. remember! bravery is not the absence of fear, but the will to overcome it.

→ super mario adventures comic: his quips and stupid puns have captivated me. he's honestly not a far cry from his super show cartoon counterpart, but i love him just a little more probably due to the art of the comic and his role overall. i don't have much to say but i just really like him in this very special peak fiction comic okay also he wore a dress TWICE. king shit

A

→ the great mission: my god what the fuck is that thing. who is this guy. no but for real i enjoy this version of him so much - it's such a far cry from how we know him as a character now, but there are lots of things about "beta wario" that still reflect luigi today. love of money/treasure is definitely still there just not as greedy as his old counterpart, the bit of sass and cheekiness is there, even a bit of his spoiled nature too. this guy is so selfish and a little bit nasty and i find him delightful. him callin mario アニキ in japanese is also crazy.

→ super show (cartoon): this pessimistic little bitch always thinks he is going to die in every scenario no matter how inconsequential and i fucking love him. he's often absolutely useless. i also just love the voice and his stupid goofy lines. not integral much anymore to the current luigi personality but there's a little bit of mama luigi in everything i do. there's a little bit of 'holy ravioli' in us all.

→ odyssey: now. listen. he doesn't do much. i know. but his various reactions to mario's outfits and the environments are really good. it feels really special despite his very small role. entirely non-judgemental of his brother's choices. will support him no matter what weird fashion he's into. will even feel his presence when he's invisible. it's very important to me. and the bowtie is so moe i can't stand it

→ super show (live action): even more rude than previous rude luigis like what's his fucking problem. i don't see much of this guy's personality in current luigi at all other than the wee bit of sass i guess. but that doesn't mean i don't love him and this stupid show that no one takes as canon anyways but all luigis are canon to me sorry

B - not inherently different iterations of luigi, and not technically any "worse" than the ones listed above, but...

→ super mario maker 2: call luigi. he will just fucking do it for you. what an absolute legend, a god, perhaps. everyone say thank you.

→ dr. luigi: i have some headcanons but nothing much to say canon wise, he just looks cute and he deserved it. but they should've put his ass back in the nurse's dress

→ tennis/golf luigi: i just like to see him have a good time. also i like seeing his hair and the outfits are cute. i could include the olypmic games and others since he's just the same with different cute fits. uh these explanations are starting to deteriorate

→ cat luigi: his noises... the nyas... neowow... okayyyy. he also is very cat-coded to me anyway. it just fits. i think he purrs when his head is pat while getting praised. i love catboys

→ gooigi: it's gooigi dude. does he even count? what the hell, sure. he's cute... that's all :3

this was kinda supposed to be me analyzing the different versions of luigi and how they compare to each other but it's kind of just a luigi lovedump post... (what do you expect from me at this point?) any missing from this list i'm either not familiar enough with or he doesn't have a big enough role to warrant like a Character Analysis i guess.

which is your favorite version of luigi? which aspects of his character do you like most? for me, it's everything. he's everything. okay bye

[numberonetacostan]

homeless taco head cannons break my heart

….

so uh.

have any?

Hello there!!!!^^ Welcome, and thank you for sending in your request!!! :] YOU BET I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR HOMELESS TACO!!! I THINK I'VE SAID SOME IN VARIOUS ANSWERS/POSTS BEFORE BUT I'LL TRY PUTTING ONES I DON'T THINK I'VE POSTED BEFORE!!! YAY HOMELESS HEADCANONS REQUEST!!!!! I love getting hc requests of any sort!!!^^

-Justin confirmed from one of my stream questions that Taco had stolen food from the hotel while she was homeless!!! I definitely think she avoided doing this at all costs, but during winters when she couldn't forage much if any food from the woods, she'd sneak into the hotel at night after like, a week of not eating to grab as much as she can and gtfo!!! Normally she could probably get in and out safely, but again, she hasn't eaten in a week. I think she would get caught by Pepper, who I had mentioned in my one-hc-for-everyone post to be the resident chef in the hotel!!! It's winter so it gets dark early, and Taco has no sense for what time it is other than the sun, so she accidentally goes in too early and Pepper walks in on her raiding the cabinets. Pepper is understandably surprised, but Taco tries to deescalate!! With her current state though, it comes off more like begging Pepper not to rat her out, and I honestly don't think she would. We have a very homeless, starving, freezing, and bedraggled Taco, and Pepper just can't bring herself to do it. She just turns to whatever food she's making and warns Taco that OJ or Paper might be in the check on the meal any moment. Taco leaves and Pepper never says a word. Sorry about the Tacopep friendship propaganda but i want them to be friends.

-I think Taco would spend a lot of time in the Gemory Cave!! It's basically the only "inside" she can access for when it's snowing, raining, etc., yeah? Staying in the forest during a thunderstorm would be more danger than it's worth for her, and with all the tunnels she'd be able to stay hidden pretty well. I'd say she has a few hidey holes in there, small enough that only she and a handful of contestants would even be able to get inside, where she keeps her most important possessions. At least, what she can't hold in her shell, yeah?

-Mephone did not program Taco with the proper knowledge or skills to survive in the wild. She had to figure everything out through trial and error, including what food is and isn't safe to eat. She had a lot of miserable evenings in those early days, throwing up what little she had managed to scrounge together for a meal, hallucinations, headaches, etc., etc.

--Due to these skills though, she's kinda the MVP of the group post-canon. She's the only one who has a lot of these skills and can work successfully with only the resources they can get from the land. She keeps them from going through the same trial and error phase that she had to, especially important now that they can't recover anymore.

-I think she put the sign in front of the Perilous Forest there herself while she was living in the woods, to keep the others from coming in and finding her. What's so perilous about it? Her.

-Rather than sleeping on the ground, I see her sleeping in trees. She's a Taco, she could reasonably nudge herself into a position in which she won't fall, and at least try to fall asleep. It would be a bit risky if case she fell, but it's definitely better than the risk of getting caught unawares. I don't see her sleeping nearly enough when she's homeless, though, and post-canon when she's in the mansion she sleeps for like 27 hours straight and feels better than she has in years.

-I mentioned in another recent post Taco being afraid of snow because of past instances of severe hypothermia!!! And, yeah, if it snows, or even just gets cold enough, she's fucked. The best she has is the cave, and even then, it wouldn't help much. And she's malnourished, which makes her even more prone to it!!! She does not get proper treatment ever!!!!! I'd say she's had some very, very close calls with frostbite, maybe a rough case of pneumonia or two, more hallucinations because they're great for angst, irregular heartbeat (if they have hearts), etc., etc.

Hopefully these seven are enough!!! If you do want more, feel free to let me know!!! Headcanons are so much fun, I'm always happy to answer requests like these!!!^^

[diamondkat]

I have decided to contribute to the theories on what possibly canonically happened between Vox and Alastor that led to their relationship ending. For the sake of this theory creation, I will be taking everything said by the characters at face value. The things that I will be taking into consideration for this theory are the following: what was said in the interactions that we have seen between them so far; the creator describing what happened between them as sad and complicated; Alastor being under a contract and; Alastor being one of the main characters.

The first thing to consider will be that based on the creator saying that it is sad and complicated, they would have both been friends and the reason for their break up would not be a single person's fault. There would likely be issues outside and within the relationship that would lead to it ending. On the other hand, Alastor being a main character also means that the narrative will likely favour him in the reason for their break up. If you take all of that with the knowledge that Alastor doesn't own his soul, there is a chance that his owner was involved in why their relationship ended up falling apart.

We also have to consider Vox and Alastor's statements about each other. On Vox's side, he accuses Alastor of being in the past and of being a coward. Alastor, on the other hand, accuses Vox of being a fake whose power comes from using those around him to appear powerful and a person who can't take a "No". This should also give us a clue regarding how they see what went wrong in their relationship. Vox sees Alastor as someone who brave enough to do certain things/potentially make changes and Alastor sees Vox as someone who takes advantage of those around him and throws a fit when he doesn't get his way.

Regarding what happened during their potential last fight, we only have what is said by Vox and Valentino, which is Valentino asking, "You still pissed he almost beat you that time?," and Vox replying, "Uh, fuck you." This was followed by Vox declaring that things had changed in Alastor's absence and he was going to show who was really in charge of things now. Based on this, it can be said that Vox won their last fight, but not in a way that left him confident in his ability to take on Alastor directly at the time. Therefore, his hope was that the time that had passed had finally put him ahead of Alastor.

Taking all these points together, here is my theory. Alastor and Vox were genuinely friends. I don't know if Vox had a crush on Alastor or not but the friendship between them went both ways. Alastor's support of Vox enabled him to grow quickly in hell and allowed him to be considered a force to be reckoned with. Vox over time got used to Alastor granting him things. However, Alastor's owner wasn't quite as happy with their relationship. She decided to interfere in their relationship, probably trying to poison the relationship. She might have suggested a simple test where Alastor told Vox, "No" when next he asked him for something. After all, Alastor has a tendency to let his friends get away with asking whatever they want from him based on his relationships with Mimzy and Niffty. This coincided with Vox having big plans for them to work together to go to the next level. Alastor said no and Vox took it very poorly. He couldn't understand why Alastor would completely turn him down. Vox's reaction proved some of the things that Alastor's owner had said to him leaving him disappointed and betrayed. Vox likely also did not handle what he considered a rejection well, particularly if Valentino was involved in poisoning things on Vox's side. This would have led to an escalation that would end in a fight, in which Alastor almost seriously hurts Vox but Vox manages to gain the upper hand, likely with the help of Valentino. My headcanon is that it is this fight that damages Vox and Valentino's antennas.

The radiostatic headcanon part of this is that Rosie thought that they were romantically involved but it turned out that Vox was attracted to Alastor while Alastor thought everything they were doing was about friendship. This is part of how Rosie figured out that Alastor was asexual.

[ihfmseatsoch]

ok ok ok so if i may be so bold as to request something, ive been enamored wiht the idea of an older, controlling, borderline abuse boyfriend jimmy, like he and reader live together on earth, and reader goes to college, while jimmy works physical jobs trying to support them both. he's a SHITTY person though, so hes jealous of any man the reader talks to, reads through their phone, makes sinde comments about their weight and appearance, and (im totally not projecting here) eventually pressures them into dropping out, for like his perfect little live in partner/gf fantasy sjdhasd feel free to do whatever with this, but this specific scenario has not left my head for days

WHEEE this was fun to write ^w^ i rushed this a bit but i just didnt want you to have to wait any longer... :p

—

Jimmy Zare x fem!reader

reader uses fem terms (girl, girlfriend)

genre: how do i categorize this.... fic that makes you feel bad or horny depending on how you handle verbal abuse lol

word count: 1.8k

warnings/content: age gap, domestic abuse, manipulation, arguing, fat shaming, several references to the readers body/appearance, jimmy being the biggest asshole oh my god i hate him (i want him so bad it makes me look stupid)

(is it bad that writing about jimmy yelling at me turns me on... WOAHHH who said that .....😰 also dont kill me for the weight shaming part IM A FAT GIRL !!!!!! i like when evil men are mean to me !!!!!! RAAAH)

—

"He's a good guy, he can actually be really sweet!"

That's a sentence you find yourself saying out of complete muscle memory at this point whenever someone questions why your boyfriend–... well, they question an awful lot about your boyfriend.

For example, why he's over twenty years your senior whilst you're still going to class on the weekdays. Why he doesn't allow you to see your friends, wear certain clothes, leave your apartment without him, and why he takes up so much space in your brain, completely distracting you from your own life and goals.

You've missed at least four assignments this semester alone. It's stupid, really. You thought you'd be done with obsessing and crying over boys after you graduated highschool. It's completely immature for a so-called adult like yourself, but then again, you're hardly into adulthood at all.

Jimmy, on the other hand, has a lot more life experience, many of those experiences negative. That might be why you've taken some form of pity on him, going so far as to move into his apartment so you can take care of him when you're not busy. He needs someone to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end.

The thing is, it's become hard to fit him in your schedule, but whenever you're unable to make time for him after he comes home from work, that familiar scowl on his face indicating it was another shitty day, he throws a fit.

He'll accuse you of everything under the sun; Infidelity being the primary thing.

"You don't love me. There's someone else, isn't there? It's that one kid that asked you to help him 'study' last week, isn't it? No? Give me your fucking phone, then."

This is what you come home to everyday, so it's nothing new. In fact, you're pretty used to it by now. Though today, Jimmy seems particularly pissed.

"Where have you been?" He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, eyeing you up and down like he always does when he's about to grill you on something.

"Sorry..." You mutter, way too tired to deal with one of his moods again. "Traffic." You answer simply, not having enough energy to overexplain yourself like you normally do.

"Uh huh. Traffic." He mimics you in a way that already tells you he's not buying it. Great.

"...It's the truth." You shrink into yourself at the way he's looking at you. Contemptuous as always. You're in for another argument, it seems. A million, desperate pleas run through your mind;

'Please don't give me another lecture about how you're my only financial support, and how grateful I should be. Please don't ask to see my phone. Please don't tell me to drop out.'

But, of course, you can't actually change the outcome of this. You're gonna get yelled at. Belittled. Degraded.

"You're two hours late, and you're gonna tell me you were just stuck in traffic?" He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards you.

"You're never home when you're supposed to be, and when you are home, you're all tired and upset.” He pokes a finger into your shoulder, hard. "What do you think that looks like from my point of view?"

"I'm sorry." You rub your face, exasperated. God, you wish he would shut up sometimes. Sure, he can be amicable, but lately... he's been a raging dick. Yet, you can't help but cling to the memory of his good moments. "I'll try to make it back on time tomorrow."

"Yeah? And how many times have I heard that before?" He sneers, "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"

The way he accuses you so confidently, so sure of himself... it's insulting. Does he really think that little of you? "College has been kicking my ass, Jim. You know that. I'm not hiding anything from you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, college this, college that. Always complaining about fuckin' college," He scoffs, his eyes stay narrowed, still glaring. "How about what I'm going through? You think I'm having a great time every day at work, hm?"

"No, I–" You stammer, hating the way he's turning this around to make himself the victim. Oh, woe is him, having to provide for himself and his girlfriend. How tortured he is. "I know, alright? I'm sorry. I just– what else do you expect me to do?"

"Be here. Like you're supposed to be. And I expect you to stop acting like I'm the bad guy for asking you to be a decent girlfriend."

Jimmy's voice raises slightly as he takes a step closer, towering over your sheepish figure. He nudges your shoulder again, even rougher this time.

"I'm busting my ass every day to put food on the table, and you can't even have the decency to show up on time, let alone look happy to see me?"

"I– I am happy to see you! I am, I'm just– you don't get it. I want to be here, but... I'm not even halfway through this semester, and–" You stumble over your words as you attempt, in vain, to defend yourself. It's not like he'll ever feel sympathy for you. It's always about what he wants. What makes him happy.

Jimmy rolls his eyes at your attempt to reason with him. It's as if he doesn't even register a word you say. "But what? What's more important to you, huh? Some stupid classes, or the guy who keeps a fuckin' roof over your head and feeds you? Be grateful, goddamn it." He snaps, grabbing your arms and giving them a forceful shake.

You flinch from being handled like you're not even a human being, much less one with feelings. "Stop, please, I'm– I am grateful, I really am..." You're not lying, either. To be honest, his guilt tripping works wonders on you. Are you really acting unappreciative? He wouldn't be this upset if you were in the right...

He seems unfazed by your frightened demeanor and continues to hold a firm grip on your arms. He looks you up and down, not even having to say anything for you to know he's judging you, as a girlfriend and person in general.

"Oh, you're grateful? Then maybe you should act like it for once." Jimmy gives your arms another firm shake, a harsh reminder of who's in charge here.

"I'm not asking much of you. I just want you to be here, and you can't even do that. Do you think I'm just gonna sit back and accept that bullshit?"

"No..." You shake your head, looking down at the ground in shame. Were you really that awful? You didn't want to be a bad partner, it's the last thing you ever wanted. If you could make eye contact without feeling guilty, you'd see Jimmy's face light up with satisfaction as he finally notices you're not even bothering to put up a fight anymore.

There's a condescending lilt to his tone as he speaks, "No one will ever love you like I do. You know that?"

You nod, knowing there has to be some truth to his claim. He takes care of you, doesn't he? He keeps a roof over your head, gives you money for groceries, and he's not always that unpleasant to be around...

He's a good boyfriend. You're the problem. You always are.

"Exactly."

The grip on your arms eases, moving them to place a hand on each of your shoulders, contrastingly gentle compared to his behavior only moments ago.

"You oughta thank your lucky stars you have a man like me who puts up with all your bullshit. You get that, right? How lucky you are to be with me?"

You know he's right. You were blessed with someone who still loves you, despite your many shortcomings. You're too fat, the acne on your face and body is repulsive, the way you do your makeup is weird... all of this being things Jimmy has told you directly. At least you have an honest boyfriend, isn't that what every girl wants?

He gives your shoulder a pat, like he's treating you like a small, petulant child. "You realize I could have literally any girl I want, right? Pretty, skinny, smart ones, even. But I chose you. Because I care about you."

He pauses, letting that sink in.

"But it would help if you'd actually put the effort in to look decent." He adds as an afterthought.

You've internalized every single snide remark he's thrown your way, reminded of them every single time you look in the mirror. Yet he still loves someone like you. Someone so difficult and embarrassing to be with.

"Jim, I don't... I don't know how I'm even gonna be able to free my schedule at all with school and stuff..." You mumble guiltily. You know he wants you to drop out, he's suggested it more times than you can count.

"That right there, that's why I'm frustrated, goddamn it," He says with an exacerbated sigh. He moves one hand from your shoulder to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Why don't you get it? Dropping out isn't the end of the world. Just quit and stay home. Done. Easy."

"It's not that easy... I want to get a good job and help out too, you know..."

It's true that you want to pull your weight around your shared home. With your combined income, it'd make everything easier. But... with how shitty college makes you feel, leaving you beaten down and tired by the end of the day...

You find yourself listening to Jimmy on this for once.

He can tell you're seriously contemplating it this time, which makes him feel... more in control. He's got you thinking and believing exactly what he wants you to. Soon, he'll be able to get you to obey him without another word from you.

The thought of having you as his subservient, stay at home girlfriend is more than appealing. It's his goal to mold you into what he wants you to be.

"Yeah, yeah, I get that, I know. But you're stressing yourself half to death, and for what? Some stupid degree? Listen to me, I'm not gonna ask you again. You're just creating problems that don't need to exist. Just quit. You'll have plenty of free time that you can spend with me."

You can't deny how tempting the idea is. Hesitantly, after several moments of pondering the hypotheticals and what-ifs, you speak up,

"...I guess... dropping out wouldn't hurt too much."

He perks up at that, barely being able to contain a delighted grin. You're actually putting him and his wants first, and acknowledging that he's right. You're doing as he says, without any of the usual arguing or excuses. He'll finally have his dream complaisant, docile girlfriend to come home to every night.

It only took a month or two to finally get you to cave. You'll be easier to control from now on. Hell, maybe you'll lose some weight with some free time on your hands, stop wearing that shitty makeup...

"Good girl," He says in a patronizing tone, like he's addressing a child, "That's what wanna hear."

God, you really hope this isn't a bad idea. Jimmy looks pleased for once, so...

This decision can't possibly ruin your future too badly, right?

—

[repulsive-manwhore]

PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE 🔗

CLINK. CLINK. CLINK.

you know you're in the sticks when they can't even afford room cards. whose fuckin idea was it to make these dumb plastic diamond keychain things? and why the fuck are they so goddamn big? whatever. at least you're getting out of here soon... ugh, this lobby is disgusting.

"hey, what can i help you with honey?"

"hello there... ummm..."

nice, let's supersize the room keychains but make the employees' nametags so small you need a magnifying glass just to read them. fantastic business strategy.

"Lisa."

"Lisa, hey... so uh, i have to check out of my room early. that won't be a problem will it?"

"$50 early checkout fee. other than that, you're all set to leave once that's paid for."

really lady? it's fuckin 4AM, checkout is at 11!

"i'm sorry but, 50 bucks is pretty steep for leaving just seven hours early."

"company policy baby, sorry."

"yeah but you're the manager."

"yeah, and it's my policy. now, 50 big ones or you can just mosey on back to your room, alright? you already ticked me off earlier with your little racket."

"alright, fine, sorry... do you have an ATM"

"nope..."

of course you don't.

"...but there's one at the Citgo just next door."

"perfect, thanks!"

fuckin' bitch. ugh. can't wait to get the fuck on out of here.

CLINK. CLINK. CLINK.

i hope she's hanging in there... i'd be losing it if i was in her shoes... yours ain't much better though.

"..."

you should just pass by the room real quick, just to be sa-

"what the fuck?!"

the door... the door is wide open HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET OUT?!

"sssssshit!!"

this is bad. this is so, sooooo bad... get in the fucking ca- oh and she smashed your window out?! this stupid bitch tried to hotwire your car! ohhhh she's fucking done. she has no idea. you're gonna find that fucking cunt. you have to find her...

YOU HAVE TO HUNT THAT BITCH DOWN AND MAKE HER PAY.