#like i understand i have an audience here as well but it feels far more informal and therefore less nerve wracking

[mynqzo]

posting art on insta and twitter and then coming to tumblr, kicking my shoes off sinking into my couch and sippin a cool one. its like coming home

[demilypyro]

So I reread Gwenpool Strikes Back and I think I actually like her "616 mutant origin" more now than I did before. Because I didn't fully get what they were doing before.

The inciting incident that starts the miniseries is Gwenpool discovering a new ability. It isn't very well explained in the moment, but it boils down to this: she can imagine things happening before or in-between the panels of the story, and if she then "flashes back" to them in her thoughts, they will retroactively become real events that really happened.

The best way to explain this is using the battle royale she organizes in issue 3: she imagines having set this up off-screen, and it became retroactively true. She initially didn't have a prize in mind, but just has to imagine that Tony Stark donated a bunch of money to be a cash prize, and suddenly it's like that happened. It became true retroactively. She seems to be able to just decide things happened off-screen, and the universe will agree.

As far as abilities go, this is absolutely King Crimson levels of convoluted, and this definitely makes Gwenpool a ridiculously powerful character, but for the purpose of the story, sure, let's say she can do that now.

Now, as we all know, at the end of the miniseries, Gwenpool has a conversation with Ms. Marvel. Kamala doesn't believe Gwen's claims that the Marvel universe is a comic book, and suggests an alternate theory: she may actually just be a mutant with amnesia.

We the audience know this is not true, and so does Gwen. She IS from the real world, and Kamala simply can't comprehend Gwen's perspective on her universe.

But what matters here is that while listening to Kamala's theory, Gwen imagined it. While unintentional, she used her power. She had a "flashback." Which made it real. Retroactively real.

Entirely by accident, there are now two truths:

Gwenpool is from the real world, and is a normal person

Gwenpool is from the Marvel universe, and is a mutant

Though this wasn't Gwen's intention, these statements are now both equally, irreversibly true, and always have been. And so, the Krakoan gate opens. The universe now considers her a mutant.

It's not just that she was accepting Kamala's version of events. She WASN'T a mutant. But now she is. Her powers changed the past. She accidentally retconned herself into being a mutant. Gwen and the audience both know that her 616 mutant origin didn't really happen, but as far as the universe is concerned, it did. Her power made it true.

I feel like they could have done a better job explaining this, but they probably didn't have all the pages in the world to spend on exposition. Either way, I like GSB more now that I properly understand what they were going for.

[piningintrovert]

Payu’s racing suit: A masterclass in foreplay and kink exploration

One helluva title, huh? Well listen, I’ve been cursed with a great attention to detail (the notes app is sick of me atp) and an even greater desire to share so here we are. Wanna come along for the ride?

It's race day and this is the first time we get to see Payu in his gear, hence this very important full-body shot for which audience is quite grateful (I took the liberty of speaking for all of us, but if you disagree, remember that denial is a river in Egypt 😌). Though we will come to see later on, that no one is as grateful as Rain.

One thing about Rain, he's going to brat. And as amused as Payu is, he's going to nip it right in the bud (hair tousle, my beloved 😭). That aside, we know that Payu is almost always in tune with Rain, and he can clearly see that baby boy is more than loving how he looks in his racing gear. And Rain saying that his suit is cool a second time gives Payu the confirmation he needs, and an opening for foreplay and the exploration of Rain's budding cosplay kink.

Now despite rendering Rain parched and speechless at that thought of him stripping out of his gear, leave it to Payu to take it to the next level.

Rain is visibly excited. And although he has not verbally responded, his body language is speaking volumes, even if at this point he doesn't fully get what Payu is implying.

Payu has essentially given Rain the permission to dress him within the boundaries of cosplay, and confirms this by asking Rain to help with putting on his gloves.

Now I'd like to think the purpose of Payu's request two-fold: (1) to show (just the audience atp because Rain doesn't understand what's happening yet) that he’s noticed the beginnings of Rain's kink and (2) to engage another one of Rain's senses as he continues their foreplay. So far there's been sight, sound, smell, and now Payu has added touch.

We all know that Payu probably entertained the idea of having Rain go full-contact right in the middle of the garage, but he still has a race to win so the gloves will have to do for now.

The race is over and Payu has fulfilled his promise to Rain: he has claimed victory unscathed. And now Payu is looking forward to his reward: reaping the benefits all of that glorious foreplay.

By the time they get home, Rain is damn near feral. He’s so turned on that even Payu is pleasantly surprised. And honestly can we blame Rain? We’ve established that Payu looks hot in his racing gear, but he looks even hotter winning in his racing gear. The latter is not lost on Rain and it’s showing in the way he’s kissing and touching Payu.

Ah yes, the touching … let's focus on that.

As they’re kissing, Rain’s hand glides along Payu’s side, pulling him close, and lingering for a bit to feel the fit and structure of the suit against Payu's body — the smooth feel of the elbow pad and the grain of the leather on Payu’s ass.

Side note: I find it fascinating that Payu starts mirroring Rain’s movements for a bit. I don’t know whether they’re just really locked in and hot for each other or it’s meant to be a form of subconscious reassurance for Rain (both. both is good.), but whatever it is seems to be working because Rain’s energy is at 1000%.

Baby boy is so lost in the sauce that even palms and strokes Payu through the suit (he really said "all hands on di—" I'm sorry lol), later pulling him close to feel the full weight of all of that leather on his body.

Now, we could say that this is just the way people touch each other while in the midst of a pre-sex make out session, but that is not the case here. Payu can feel the difference and remarks on it, continuing their earlier conversation at the garage.

Another side note: Imagine being so in tune and obsessed with your partner that you're able to continue conversations hours later as if the passage of time doesn’t exist. Absolute insanity.

Anyway~ naked and deep in throes of passion, it's at this point they switch gears for a bit (pun intended) with it being Rain's turn to do the talking.

From the garage up until now, Payu has a created a safe space for Rain to release his inhibitions (s/o to my girl Natasha Bedingfield 🎶) and explore this new side of himself. And while that's true, the rules established in their D/s relationship are still in place. One of them is no swearing. But Rain is feeling carefree and especially bratty, so he levels up the dirty talk, adding some profanity to spice things up.

They both know that a punishment is inevitable, but there's some nuance involved. Rain is the midst of self-discovery, so Payu opts for a less severe punishment for the swearing. He bites Rain's lips, but he does it with degree of playfulness that encourages Rain to continue. Without the swearing, of course.

Taking the hint and most importantly, staying on theme (i.e. riding Payu like a finely-tuned motorcycle … again, I'm sorry lol), Rain takes over both verbally and physically, and it is absolutely doing it for Payu.

In fact, Payu is so pleased that he offers Rain a lifetime subscription of free riding lessons. All jokes aside, the way that Payu responds (in that he mirrors Rain's word choice) shows that he is enjoying this cosplay scene just as much as Rain.

Thoroughly spent and content after crossing yet another finish line for the day, Payu reassures and encourages Rain once more. And in turn, Rain checks in with Payu confirming that everything was enjoyable for the both of them.

Communication? We love to see it.

Even while basking in the afterglow of their bisexually-lit post-coital bliss, that race suit is still on Rain's mind. Again, can we really blame him? He realizes that the cosplay aspect of it is something that he likes. And although things seemed to come naturally to him, this is still very much uncharted territory for Rain. Payu acknowledges this and provides aftercare in the form of teasing encouragement, promising to purchase a few costumes for later cosplay sessions.

Rain may not be ready to fully accept his newfound kink, but knows that he can explore it further with Payu whenever he's ready. And the open and consistent communication they've had during this time will help them build a solid foundation to do that.

If you made to this point, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed and I'll catch you in the next one :)

Bonus: An update from the special episode

A few months have passed and as you can see our lovely couple has indeed gone on to further explore their cosplay kink.

AND they even added a few others to the mix. Good for them and may the kinks be ever in their favor.

[doberbutts]

So I'm going to ask an honest question here and ask you please explain in layman's terms. Every trans person I know irl has no concept of the transandrophobia discourse but every time I see more of it online I'm...unsettled, and it takes a lot to power through all the terminology.

I initially was really receptive to transandrophobia because the rationale behind being against it sounded stupid and akin to label discourse in the queer community. I saw "being a man is not an axis of oppression therefore you don't get your Own Word" and thought that was pedantic nonsense, that language doesn't need to adhere to that rule, and that it's helpful to have a term designated towards transmasculine experiences so people can find those experiences easier. Not that trans women's experiences aren't also beneficial! But that, well, obviously no matter how similar the experience birds of a feather and that sense of comfort of sharing identity still matters. This is true for other issues of identity too, I find, weather that's a good thing or a bad thing idk, but it is human.

The thing is I follow a lot of transwomen and have been seeing some alarms being raised about the community being formed around this word. You blocked one of the most egregious offenders so I trust you (which is why I'm asking sorry) I've seen a lot of misogyny and essentialism from people using the term "transandrophobia" and more egregiously "transmisandry." Idk your opinion on the latter term (I haven't scrolled down far enough on your blog, sorry if you talked about this before) but to me it's unconscionable. I was taught that transandrophobia existed as a term specifically NOT to use that term, that elevating misandry to a legitimate issue was dangerous for obvious reasons and it was one of the reasons why I was so supportive of transandrophobia. To me, it seemed like an awareness that misogyny was the prevailing issue behind all issues of gender oppression, but when I actually look at the tag I...get uncomfortable.

Blogs I follow have repeatedly been upset at misogyny from this community, and have been using the term "transandrobro" to describe behavior they find akin to cis MRAs. I've truly seen horrible things with hundreds, sometimes thousands of notes to it that do, unfortunately, feel like women are being blamed for the plight of trans men. I've seen cis people say they were originally on MRA reddits and then came to tumblr to "confront the misandry directly" only to wholeheartedly adopt transandrophobia into their worldview. It's hard because I KNOW I shouldn't judge a community based on a few crazies but it truly does feel sometimes like "transandrophobia" gives misogynists a venue to air their woman-hating to an eager audience, kinda like how "Karen" has been co-opted beyond the og meaning of being for racist white woman to any woman being mildly rude.

So like, here it is: can transandrophobia exist without being co-opted by misogynists? Is there a threshold of proliferation for misogynists destroying this word until a new one needs to be made? Or will every word trying to identify the transmasculine experience be inevitably co-opted by misogynists because misogynists are just that powerful, so people should double down harder on the word and work to push misogynists out?

(Also am I going crazy, or did this word a year ago used to have a WAY better community than the one I see nowadays. Back then I could find your blog and really compassionate people easily, and now it's just...bad.)

It is a little hard to understand some of this post but I will do my best to answer what I think is being asked.

To put simply, I think the reason why it was better a year or two ago is because the majority of the people who were actually trying to further the conversation and not just circle jerk in the echo chamber got chased off. Transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, transandromisia, transmascphobia... the guys who coined these are largely either not posting at all anymore or post far far less than they used to. They were harassed and the constant exposure to transphobia made them shut down their blogs for their own mental health. Not all of them, but a lot of the so-called "big names" had this happen.

Even I stopped posting for a while and shuttered the doors for a bit outside of a long queue of dog photos because of how much it was affecting my mental health.

In their place remain people who are not committed to the same conversation. Perhaps they are younger, or less familiar with the building blocks of theory that really should be required reading, or are still stuck in their "everything sucks and it's YOUR fault" phase. Maybe they do come from different places, like 4chan or reddit, which are less prone to this sort of discussion. A lot of the original crowd had been on tumblr long enough to remember when we could still edit posts, and I keep seeing people who would have been in elementary school at that time posting to the tag nowadays.

I was discussing this problem on discord with a small group of friends and one of them- a trans fem- called it second wave transandrophobia discourse as a bitter joke. I think she is more right than wrong, regardless.

I'm not sure who you believe I've blocked- in general I don't air out who I block on this blog because at nearly 12k followers there are too many people who would love to dogpile someone for the sin of disagreeing with me and I do my best to prevent that. I don't want anyone to be harassed, after all. There's a lot of assumptions that have been made about my block and follow behavior that vary from "hilarious but untrue" to "outright offensive slander".

People are people, and some people are shitheads. Trans mascs and people who want to support trans mascs are not exempt from that. I say this all the time- Kayne West is objectively a shitty person but his existence doesn't prove the concept of antiblackness to be a myth. Caitlyn Jenner is objectively a shitty person but her existence doesn't prove the concept of transmisogyny to be a myth. So why do shitty trans mascs prove our own theory to be dangerous or nonexistent? Why hold us to a higher standard than any other marginalized group?

I could ask you the same question- there are posts on here with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes made by trans fems and cis women who blame their problems with transmisogyny on trans mascs. There are people coming from reddit, Twitter, 4chan who are being actively transphobic and misogynistic and claiming they're doing it for the good of transfeminism. There are posts filled with misogyny and bioessentialism and gender essentialism and even interphobia and racism and transphobia being left completely unchecked. Do you think it would be acceptable for me to ask if that means transmisogyny theory should be abandoned or if we should just accept that it will draw people with bad intentions?

Or do you think the better answer is to focus instead on finding those with a good head on their shoulders, and making sure it's them who has their voice heard? Do you think we should maybe not judge entire demographics because there exists some shitty people who claim the same identity?

[gemmahale]

Ficbook.net and Unauthorized Translations - An Update

Update to the update: some of the fics have been removed! 🎉 This happened before I finished this write-up even!

You may have seen this post last night about some CoD X Reader fics having unauthorized translations posted to the Russian site ficbook.net. @karlachismylife was monumental in helping me understand what's going on, and there's some explanation in that link from her POV as well.

Basically - multiple people have copied and translated fanfics into Russian and hosted them on ficbook.net. They're rough translations, some going as far as to use literal translations for turns of phrase. Most likely, they were run through a translation software (Google Translate or similar) and then roughly edited. (Juju mentioned that there is a subset of jobs in Russia where that is your job description. 😖)

Most of them have come from Tumblr posts, some from AO3. Very few had attribution beyond "tagging" the original author. (Aka - no consent was given for these translations.)

@syoddeye took the time to compile a list found here (google sheet). At the time of writing, 65 fics CoD x Reader fics were found - we know there's more but we only have so many knives in a day. (Sy did not look into slash fics either.)

Authors that have been tagged in the comments: I'm sorry you found out this way. I wanted to tell you in person, but given Tumblr's likelihood of thinking I was spamming you, I felt that this was the best option to alert you, provide you with options, and let you determine how you wish to move forward.

So what can be done?

If you already have an account, please report the fics! I'm told that spamming reports gets it taken down. Also consider messaging the author and ask them to remove them - they do not have the author's consent to publish them.

If you want to make an account and report the linked fics, you can. I have chosen not to, because I don't want to give Ficbook any extra support I otherwise might by doing so (clicks, ad views, account numbers).

If the author does not have closed comments (or you have an account), you can leave a comment on the fic.

Russian: Автор оригинала лично подтвердил, что не давал разрешения на перевод и публикацию. English: Author of the work personally confirmed that they did not give permission to translate and publish.

Finally - check in on your author friends that are on that list. It's devastating to find out your work has been plagiarized, translated and hosted somewhere else without your consent. Reblog their work, share comments, hype them up!

A couple of notes: (Juju correct me if I've fucked any of this up 💚)

The posters are likely not making money off the unauthorized translations. The website and their owners definitely are (ads, "premium features", promotion tools, etc.)

Ficbook.net is the biggest Russian language fanfiction platform - somewhat akin to AO3, but it doesn't have a great reputation within Russian circles because of the stealing and underhanded practices the owners use.

AO3 is banned in Russia, and Tumblr is one of the few places Russians can easily (aka without VPNs and Mirrors) read English version of fanfic.

CoD isn't the only fandom affected - there are dozens that have more posted, and we only scratched the surface in our list.

Finally, if you want to translate works, TALK TO THE AUTHOR. A lot of folks don't like having their work shared without their consent. Even if you feel like you are doing a good thing spreading it to a wider audience, YOU NEED THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT. If they've deleted their presence and their stories from hosting sites (tumblr, AO3, etc) - you don't get to pretend you're doing them a favor by reposting them. Respect their decisions.

[hazelfoureyes]

Coven: @fraugwinska @minkdelovely @sugoi-writes @macabr3-barbi3 @synamartia (banners by Syn!)

Masterlist for Kinktober (Thank you Syn!)

Kinktober 2024 - Day 19 - Cuckolding

Alastor fucks Lucifer’s wife and Lucifer isn’t as mad as he thought he’d be about that.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷

「warnings/promises: Alastor x AFAB!Reader, breathplay, breeding kink if you truly look in your heart, cuckolding the king of hell is a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off for him, creampie, cock too big but Alastor is ambitious and indifferent」

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷

MDNI 🦌 🚗

Alastor was already rubbing his cock length between your wet folds when Lucifer walked in the room. The king stopped, in obvious shock, to see his daughter’s hotelier fucking his wife. Well, about to fuck his wife.

He opened his mouth to speak but his attempt to say your name was drowned out by you moaning Alastor.

Alastor looked up, locking eyes with his sovereign as the shorter man seemed torn between coming in and retreating. The sound of your voice was candied; sweet and crisp. For some odd reason, he felt like he was intruding on your pleasure. Not that you could see your husband, the door was to the right and behind the large four post bed and taken out of your view entirely by a small enclave.

He’d expected his majesty to show up, but more towards the end. What was the point of fucking his wife if he didn’t get to feel Lucifer’s rage and humiliation over it?

A wicked grin spread on the radio demon’s face, one hidden from you as your eyes were clenched. He wasn’t terrible at improv, he could give it a whirl for the early audience. Your senses focused on the feeling of his heated member, cockhead catching on your clitoral hood as he ran it up and down slowly. It had all happened so fast that you didn’t stop to consider what you were doing. 

Everyone was drinking and dancing and partying, then Alastor was beside you. There was no sudden shift to blame. He took you for a spin around the room, and he said some funny things about the hotel, some sly things about upgrading wives, and then… a dark chuckle, warm breath on your neck, a proposal and now you were on your back in your marital bed.

Lucifer had always allowed you freedom to be with who you wanted, no restrictions to your pleasure nor to his. But, everyone knew how poorly he got on with Alastor. The image of his face screwed up and a fake smile twitching, sputtering out nervous noises of confusion floated to the surface of your mind. 

“Is this why I was summoned here tonight, my queen? To service you?” Alastor’s voice was low, but not quiet. It dispelled your husband's visage and roused you to open your eyes. Your response was a whimper, his own reply was a distant and nearly cruel laugh echoing off the walls.

You wouldn’t lie—- he’d caught your eye some time ago. Who didn’t like the hard to get? Though this had proven much easier than you’d anticipated.

Lucifer took a step forward into the room, a glare that threatened Alastor’s very soul made the sinner shiver. Alastor understood quite well he was most likely going to die a second, more permanent death. Why not put on a show as he went out?

You gasped, hands gripping into the bedding, as Alastor began to press into you. He’d been teasing you for just a few minutes.

Lucifer froze.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, and you nodded. You were wet and your pussy was willing, but his cock head was thick. The end was blunt, forcing your entrance to bend and stretch. “If only I had more time to prepare you… you’ll have to invite me again to the palace.” His hips moved and you gritted your teeth. “I promise it’ll be worth the pain, sweetheart.”

He hadn’t asked you if you needed him to stop, but you nodded again in understanding.  The thin skin beneath your hole felt sure to tear as he demanded a wider entrance, but the ache for him deep in your cunt was overpowering the instinct to pull from the pain. So far.

Lucifer felt himself lean back before he thought to do it, shoulder slightly knocking into the door and startling him. He could see Alastor’s cock suddenly lose length as his head popped in. The hate in his heart was being suffocated by the spark just south of his belt. Every ounce of outrage outweighed by the heavy sounds of your excited breathing. You whimpered, legs clamoring up and a foot coming to press into Alastor’s lower stomach. 

“None of that, dear.” His large hand wrapped around your ankle and lifted your leg up, resting it on his shoulder. The tension of your muscles made it hard to pull it back to yourself, causing you to be spread even wider for him. 

Regardless of how slick his head was, slit leaking excitedly into you already, he still grated against your insides. Precum meant nothing when his flesh was pushing up and out so harshly against your own walls. Until your body accommodated his girth, the experience felt closer to your first time than a quickie with the famed demon.

Lucifer saw the moment Alastor’s head and glands bullied past your g-spot, your thighs and stomach visibly tensing. The feeling of him pressing in and then releasing your inner spot was one that made your body feel weak from the core out.

Your breath hitched, “Ah- Alastor. Slower.” Your hands stretched to touch his knees and grip, but he just hummed, disembodied radio studio audience cooing at your pathetic request. He did not slow down. The advancing length continued to push you apart.

Upsettingly, Lucifer found your noises stirring his own arousal noises more and more. Alastor’s attention flitted back to Lucifer, eyes meeting his before drifting down to the prominent bulge forming as his cock tried to straighten itself upright inside the confines of his tight, ridiculous circus master pants. He offered a smile to his king before snapping his hips forward. His balls pressed into the soft round flesh of your ass as he dug himself as deeply as he could reach.

When you let out a small yelp and tried to scurry up the bed, Lucifer’s hand came to adjust his erection in his pants. Lingering, his fingers traced the outline of his manhood as he listened to your whine melt into a soft moan. Your vocal responses to sex always spurred him into a frenzy, though usually he was the one making you whimper. His cock didn’t know that though, it just knew you were feeling good. Very good, by the sounds of it. 

You held your breath as he pulled out halfway and slowly returned to your heat. He was churning up your insides, trying to elicit more of your own fluids to lubricate him. Alastor could feel he was snug in you, your walls writhing around him as you twitched at the intrusion.

A few more testing thrusts before Alastor pulled out to the very tip and began to fuck you proper. Your hole didn’t appreciate the repeated burn of his glands popping out and pushing back in, but knowing he was fucking you wider around him just made you fall deeper into the blind fog of lust. Lucifer was always so gentle, even when he was rough. But somehow Alastor’s most tender touches were still harsh.

You were entirely unaware of your husband some meters behind you, palm rubbing his cock through his pants to the pace of Alastor’s thrusts. 

“How are you feeling?” He leaned up and over, body bending unnaturally as his spine curved. Your mouth hung open, body slack with occasional jolts of pleasure. It wasn’t right, he needed you seizing and tense, “Tell me what you need.” If he couldn’t make you a shuddering mess begging for him then he was really just wasting his time. He wanted the king of hell to feel inferior. This happened to be one of the best ways to manage that.

Lucifer knew what you needed, because he often found himself helping you along with firm hands. 

You were too scared to ask, instead putting a hand on your throat and gently squeezing. 

“Ooh, look at you! Who knew the queen of hell enjoyed breathplay? I am happy to oblige you.” A hand several times larger than your husband’s rested on your throat, long fingers curling as he tightened in slow increment. You moaned when the pressure was perfect, and he stopped the increasing vice.

Your hips lifted slightly, chasing the feeling of his pelvis hitting against your clit. 

His body covered yours entirely, your own bent in half as he used your legs for both support and grip. Lucifer’s hand scraped against his belt as he shoved it into his pants to get contact with his now pulsing member. Your eyes were watering, mouth open and pleasured noises spilling from you with every move of your illicit lover’s body. The roll of his hips coaxed more and more of your fluids to leak and gather on his cock. 

“Look how wet you are, does the king not take care of you? My my, even the bedding is soaked.” He said it to you, but his eyes were peering through his sweat-dampened hair to Lucifer, now fully resting against the door as he stroked himself under his clothes. 

Finally properly covered in your arousal, Alastor was gliding through you. Every time his head hit your cervix and bottomed out, a small jolt of pain shot up your womb and stomach. He couldn’t fit himself entirely in without making your cervix bow against him. However he still did, shoving the rest of himself in randomly to get fully sheathed in your pussy every few times he fucked into you. 

There was some form of disinterest in your discomfort that made the situation even more arousing. Alastor only cared for your pleasure, he didn’t seem bothered at all with how much your body struggled to accommodate him while receiving that pleasure. 

Neither did you, though.

“Harder.” You choked out. Lucifer had to bite his bottom lip and still his hand to keep from moaning wantonly and breaking the illusion of privacy you and Alastor were in. 

Alastor chuckled again, the laugh trailing off high and wicked with a flourish of stations flipping through static. He leaned back, taking both legs by the knees and hooking them at the junction of his arms to pull you into his lap every time he thrusted forward. Effortlessly he jerked your body to meet his demanding pace.

“How is that, my queen?” Panted through groans, Alastor finding it hard to keep composure when you were so shockingly needy. He could nearly forget Lucifer was against the far wall, fucking into his own fist. But not quite.  “You’re so tight,  I’m sure our majesty will feel my absence the next time he fucks you.” He said it purely for your husband’s displeasure. 

The tension was ratcheting, the quick pace and occasional knock against your womb pulled long cries from you that stole your senses and any concerns about embarrassment. He was deeper in you than felt right, and you wanted him to fuck you until you were changed to fit him perfectly. 

You flinched, Alastor’s hand coming to stroke the black swirl of lines vaguely forming a heart (or was that an apple?) above your womb. “Is this the famed marking?” Tears streamed down from your eyes and tickled your ears. “The gift of fertility from your betrothed?” A silent scream pulled your body taut, orgasm so close you were scared to breathe and lose it. “I know it’s made just for him, but don’t blame me for trying.”

Releasing your legs, he pinned you under the full weight of his body. His elbows rested just above and to the sides of your head as his long thrusts now became short and deep. No longer was he teasing your body with part of his length but now burying it into you. Alastor was chasing his own release, sensitive and weeping slit of his cock smashing into the obstinate entrance of your womb.

You came with a broken scream, cervix lowering to receive the seed of your lover regardless of vows as your walls worked in tandem to coax his cock to breed you. 

Lucifer could relax and let himself cum to the sounds of Alastor’s pistoning member without fear, his mark only allowing you to truly receive his seed. He shuddered, body falling forward as he let his mind focus on the sounds of the room. Tight balls smacking into you and popping as they stuck to the thick slick coating your inner thighs and dripping down your cheeks. Your screams broke and devolved into wails and pleading, wordless begging for something– more, less, slower, deeper, it was unclear but you didn’t protest when Alastor quickened. 

He leaned his head back in time to watch Alastor’s hips press once, then twice and drive your body into the mattress. He could see the back of Alastor’s thighs twitching and tensing as his cock was surely pulsing shots of his hot semen into your hungry womb. The smallest flicker of worry about the failsafes of his magical mark appeared as he saw Alastor give your cunt another deep push before quickly pulling out with an audible pop of your body separating from his. 

You flinched again at the sudden loss, feeling something warm and thick threatening to leak out from your stretched and sore entrance.

“Quite the hostess, I have to say.” His finger pushed his cum back in. His other hand slipped up and over the marking with a ghost of reverence at the power therein before his presence entirely left the bed. “Lovely party, dear! Do invite me over again soon.” With a snap his pants were back on and shirt neatly buttoned.

As he approached Lucifer, still recovering in the shadows of the room’s entrance, he couldn’t contain his grin. Lucifer didn’t miss the way the sinner’s eyes shot to his hand and disheveled pants before returning to his flushed face.

Alastor’s own, still wet with the mix of you and him, came to touch and then swipe across the king’s chest as he slipped through the still open door, “Absolutely lovely.”

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:･

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

@eris-norwega @reath-solia @catticora , @angelicribbons , @xalygatorx

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98

, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog ,

@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies

@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @fizzled-phoenix , @star-kujo-platinum

, @a-case-of-attachment, @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl @smoky000

@hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain

@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby

@dontfuckbutimfab @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12

[celestie0]

hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.

i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)

but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics

that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc

but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”

not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone

i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention

but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.

anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others

i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)

i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.

hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love

- ellie

[badlywritingmagazine]

Wanna help a by-and-for transfem journal?

Wanna get involved?

Thank you everyone for your interest so far! If you have a sec, I’ve written a quick post about a few ways you can help. 

Lili Elbe, painted by Szív királynő, serving “journal reader” realness Do you have trans female mates?

Let your girl friends know. Share it amongst your networks. 

Can you read? 

Wonderful. Subscribe to this substack to be notified when an issue is released. 

Can you think?

If you’re a trans woman and you have feelings about something, send it to us. If you’re developing an idea, come chat with us over email (or arrange a phone call) and let’s figure it out together. 

Do you sell books and zines? 

Wonderful. Email me. Stock it. Perfect. I can also send you a poster version of our invitation to submit to print out. 

Have you written?

If you’re a trans woman who writes about things relevant to our lives, send it to me. If it is online and you worry that it won’t stay up forever, it’s affecting your job and life prospects, or that it is a reflection of its time and not 100% wise anymore, send it to me and get it archived. Archiving is part of the goal here. We’re not uncurated, but that doesn’t mean you should shrug and let the internet, time, transmisogyny and linkrot eat your hard work. 

If you’re a trans woman with jobs and obligations and you don’t like having your essay ‘Why dickgirls should commit more assassinations’ or ‘transgender materialism: towards a de/coterminous understanding of post tipping point transmisogyny’ or whatever attached to your name then send it to me and get it re/published under a pseudonym.

If we get a large number of submissions like this we will publish it as a separate supplement, but else it will come as a section within WBM.

Do you know grants?

Rates for unfunded zines and pamphlets suck. We want to pay the women well. Let us know if you know of funds or grants you think we fall under. We’ll be sending off applications. 

Can you help us host a launch party in a major city?

We envision low-cost evening events with discussion, trans women, and piles and piles of essays to talk about. (Can we crash on your couch?) We’re based in the UK, but are happy to come anywhere Ryanair goes where there’s a willing audience. 

Got an idea I don’t have? 

Ultimately, I want to keep this dirt simple. Essays come in, paper goes out. No columns, shite graphics. Couple core editors. Schedules loose enough to spend half the year depressed and still get it out. Stolen printer paper. Something that won’t collapse after two years. Posterity. 

That said, if you have an idea (and maybe if you want to do it), email us. Think you know enough people to get this translated and shipped somewhere else? Can you translate and know of a non-English language transfeminist text that’s not got much attention in the anglosphere? Maybe we can submit an application for a grant and distribute your translation? Understand distribution better than me? Do you have the wherewithal to manage a personals board? Something else? Anything except an agony aunt section. I’ve called dibs on that one. 

Do you have agonies? Issues? Want bad advice?

Write to the agony aunt. writingbadlymag snail symbol gmail dot com.

Do you have something to say which won't make a whole essay but is still worth saying?

Write a letter to the editor. Same email.

Addendum: Can you help us set up a website?

Websites we think are beautiful are dirt simple. Low-tech Magazine has a beautiful low-energy website. Filmmaker Margot McEwan has a lovely fitting website. Any thoughts or suggestions should be sent to the same email.

(update: we're all set now! Check out badly.press!)

See a good stack cutter?

If you see a cheap paper stack cutter for cheap, let me know. :)

Thanks all!

Forthcoming posts: information for writers, extracts from the issue.

[dyk3tastic]

friends

victoria neuman (the boys) x reader

genre: angst, light smut, hurt/comfort(ish)?

summary: when victoria shows up unannounced at your apartment in the dead of night you want nothing more than to kick her to the curb, you let her in anyway. reader is a member of the boys, could be read as a follow up to my previous fic “cant have both” or as a stand alone. (now wiv a follow up u can read here)

warnings: weapons, language, slightly nsfw, light smut, mentions of sex

a/n: back with another one. getting back into posting ff, haven’t written for an ‘audience’ in a while, feedback is appreciated. enjoy! :)

“wow, you really gonna treat a friend like that?” victoria drawled, foot blocking your front door, stopping you locking her out. wide grin flashing her perfect white teeth. the last thing you wanted at 4am was to shuffle bleary eyed through your shitty apartment, glock firm in your grip by your side, to answer that incessant hammering against your door. when you open the door to see her standing you want nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow you whole, dreading wallowing in the limbo between you both. the space between hate and longing, betrayal and understanding, where all interactions between you two now seemed to take place. you were tired.

staring up at you under her thick dark lashes, you knew you couldn’t get rid of her even if you wanted to. “we’re not friends” you croak out, voice rough with exhaustion. she just laughs at you, continuing to blink up at you like a fawn, flashing her predatory smile. “what are you doing here vic?” you hiss frustrated by her brazenness and lack of explanation.

“can i come inside? i want to talk to you”, she lets her smile drop. “please”.

you say nothing to each-other as you turn to let her in, she slides past you, eyes dragging down your body, heat prickles your ears as she clocks your batman underwear. she strides in, confident and assured as ever, walking towards the kitchen as if she were coming home from work, like she owns the place. just as you’re starting to become hyperaware of your lack of clothing she speaks again, voice gentle and relaxed over the quiet hum of the tv, “i knew you wouldn’t be asleep yet”.

“is that what you’ve come here to do, pretend to know me so well, tell me about my fucking sleeping patterns?” you mutter, irritated. resting against your kitchen counter you stood opposite her, taller than her now that she had her heels off. the low orange glow of the kitchen light illuminated her bronzed skin. victoria looks up at you, all brown eyed and beautiful, and it makes you forget what she’s done, what you’ve done, just for a second.

“i want zoe out. i want her far away from all this bullshit. i want out. i need you to help me undo this, to just leave it all behind. please.”

hissing, voice scratchy in your throat you half sigh, “you just turn up here and expect me to trust you, expect me to risk my life for you, blinking up at me like bambi and expecting me to feel fucking sorry for you.” “i trusted you, believed in what we were doing, in us. i thought we were working towards something right, some fucking justice for once. to find out those years of my life were useless, sisyphus pushing that rock up that never fucking ending hill for vought. when i told you about-“ you stop abruptly, tired of rehashing the past, take a deep, shaky breath and collect yourself. “coming round here talking about friends” you scoff.

chest rising and falling with uncertainty she stares you down, face unflinching. mocking and faux innocent she asks “we weren’t friends?”. “i’d say when i’d ride your pretty face til it was covered in my cum that we were friends, at least i definitely considered you my friend.” her smile is sharp. “when you’d rut against my leg all desperate and pleading you didn’t think i was your friend?” she added with an exaggerated pout.

you recognised the deflection immediately, could see that all she wanted was to crawl under your skin and pull you back to her. but you’d be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t effect you, the full truth of it all hanging in the air, your skin prickling with memory and mouth dry with the her boldness. “we’re not friends now” you say, proud of yourself for managing to keep your voice steady.

she steps forwards, encroaching in your space. “that’s okay, we don’t need to be friends”. she moves closer again, you don’t dare move, anxious not to scare her off, anxious to close the gap between you two. she breathes an “i’m sorry” into your neck, voice laced with what you so desperately want to believe to be sincerity. moving her head up, her nose bumps your cheek, plump lips pressing a soft kiss against your mouth. your arm moves of its own accord, snaking around her waist, urging her closer. her next kiss is less gentle, her mouth greedy and desperate against yours, chills run down your spine as you let out a quiet whimper. tongue swiping over her lower lip you let yourself get lost in her, in the kiss. transfixed by her touch heat pools deep in ur abdomen, your underwear growing sticky and uncomfortable.

the nights spent touching yourself, seething with anger as you imagined your fingers buried deep inside her, imagined pulling out those little pants and whimpers that made you want to never hear another sound again; those nights seething in your betrayal and wetness couldn’t compare to the electricity that ran through your body as her warm tongue licked lewdly into your mouth. nothing could compare to the feeling of her pressing her warm, petite but deadly body against yours. revelling in the feeling of her tits against your chest it was the bumping of her hip against the hard glock tucked in the thick waistband of your underwear that brought you out of your trance. both of you breathed heavy hot air against the others face, panting as you try to remember why you were here, to clear away you heady thoughts, to regain some semblance of control.

[fire-of-the-sun]

Noctis and The 'Black Moment' That Never Was

Given the recent discovery of an earlier version of a Final Fantasy XV scene featuring Noctis being imprisoned by Bahamut in Angelgard instead of the Crystal and him showing genuine fear about his destiny (here), I'm reminded of how unfortunate it is that the final game didn't explore the reaction to his fate as well as it deserved and how it could have been one of the most significant scenes in the game. In light of this new scene, I want to use it as an opportunity to address this vital plot point, how it affects Noctis' arc and the story as a whole and why what we got just didn't quite hit the mark.

THE 'BLACK MOMENT'

In typical story structure, this plot point would represent the "The Black Moment" or "The Dark Night of the Soul" among other titles. Taking place before the climax of a story, this pivotal moment is intended to feel like all hope is now lost and showcase the protagonist at their lowest and, in many cases, physically alone. To overcome this, these scenes demand that they gain new insight and understanding - essentially to realize the lesson meant to be learned that defines the thematic core of the story - to pull them out of their despair and carry them across the threshold to the final act. In the above image, you can see that this event precedes the "Road Back" which, in the case of this story, is obviously represented by Noctis returning to the world and regrouping with his allies before entering the climax to face Ardyn and fulfill his calling. Of course, everything leading to the end hinges on the 'Black Moment' beat, so let's explore how each version of this scene tried to tackle this and how they could have been improved:

SCENE COMPARISON

In the original version of the scene, Noctis is physically imprisoned in a dark and gloomy cell in Angelgard - a fitting choice that helps to highlight the tragedy of his circumstances and reflect how he feels trapped by his destiny as well as parallel Ardyn's own imprisonment. Noctis verbally lashes out at Bahamut and expresses genuine anger and fear towards the newly discovered truth of his impending demise.

"'Returned to naught'? I just... fade away? Wait - no! Lemme out of here! - Noctis

Though this missing scene does a better job portraying a stronger reaction from Noctis than the final game, it does still fail to give credible evidence to validate his decision to accept his fate beyond the player simply selecting an option to continue. As such, Noctis and the player may feel more coerced into saying 'yes' here without actually going through the time and processing necessary to truly accept it. Though I'm sure this scene doesn't fully represent the developer's initial intentions and there could have been far more to it, as it stands, it's still not enough to create a successful 'Black Moment".

"Only at the throne can the Chosen receive [the power] and only at the cost of a life: his own. The King of Kings shall be granted the power to banish the darkness, but the blood price must be paid. To cast out the Usurper and usher in Dawn's light will cost the life of the Chosen. Many sacrificed all for the King so must the King sacrifice himself for all. Now enter into Reflection, that the Light of Providence shine within." - Bahamut

In the final version of the game, the essential elements needed for this scene to work are... present to a degree but could have been greatly improved as these aspects are implied rather than explored. After being told the news of his impending death, Noctis does make a distressed expression, but he never gets to voice or process his feelings about it and the moment quickly moves away to show him being forced into slumber.

This is supposed to be a huge turning point. A gut punch to the character and audience and it deserved a stronger reaction - one more akin to the panic and anger that is showcased in the original scene. On the heels of this devastating news, discovering Ardyn's true identity and nefarious intentions and finding himself utterly alone without his friends, Noctis is understandably at his lowest and we need to feel that. Light shines brightest in the dark and the darker we allow this scene the be, the brighter hope can shine after and the more satisfying it will be.

By way of processing, we see a brief montage of footage from previous moments in the game to show Noctis reflecting on them and then he awakens 10 years later having completely worked through all of his trauma, grief and guilt and the sudden transformation naturally feels a bit jarring. Progress is assumed through the passage of time and the natural maturation that comes from age, but this simply isn't enough. There is a lot to unpack here and it deserves to be. The game can't simply rely on a time skip to produce a grudging acceptance. It needs to be a choice - one that he makes wholeheartedly and that the audience fully understands.

I will say, I do like physically seeing the power entering Noctis via the Ring of the Lucii in this version rather than implying he's powering up off-screen, but it's something he should earn after accepting his fate rather than it being forced on him without his consent. Gaining the power he needs to save the world needs to act as the reward for choosing to do so.

DIGGING DEEPER

So, what is necessary for him to grow here? What is the thing that truly awakens the inner King in Noctis and brings him out of the depths of his despair? What makes him choose to willingly sacrifice his life? Though it's an amalgam of a number of things, above all, it is love. Love for his father, love for Luna, love for his friends, love for the people he's met and the world he lives in. Love that counteracts his fear. He has to remember what and who he's doing this for. Though the cost is steep, he has to determine it's worth it to fulfill his duty and save the world.

Of course, Noctis' opinion about his calling changes throughout the story. After Luna first introduces him to the reality that he is the Chosen one as a child, he's hesitant at first, but promises he won't let her down. He has no real idea of what his task will truly be but shows enthusiasm anyway most likely because it was Luna herself who showed such belief in him. As an adult, Noctis begins to struggle with his new reality after the death of his father and shows great anxiety about the mounting responsibilities thrust upon him including his kingly duties, upcoming marriage and the growing burden of his calling. After the loss of Luna, his dedication to continue feels largely driven by immense guilt and need for revenge. In Episode Ignis, after Ignis suggests they end their quest due to suffering so much loss (and now knowing about Noctis' fate), he responds:

"Are you kidding me? That's exactly why I have to keep going - because if I give up now, their sacrifices would have been for nothing!" - Noctis

Though not wanting their sacrifices to be in vain is noble, this should not be his main driving force, especially if his desire to press forward comes from a place of pain and contrition more than anything else. He even refuses to put on the Ring - the symbol of his Kingship and destiny - which shows his lack of true commitment to what is expected of him. At this point, he still has a lot to process and understand before he can fully accept the reality of a fate he is still largely unaware of and truly let go of the fears and anxieties surrounding it.

Noctis has had little time to process his emotions on his journey thus far and the respite afforded by the 'Black Moment' now allows him the opportunity to do so. Whether through playable content that permits Noctis and the audience to tangibly explore his past and current emotions or a prolonged cutscene in either the prison or Crystal, we definitely needed to see him confront what's happened thus far - the good and the bad - and grow from it.

In the Dawn of the Future version of the story, we learn more about what Noctis was dreaming about in the Crystal which included witnessing some of the history of the world, seeing insightful pieces of the lives of characters such as Ardyn and Luna and even getting to interact with his father again. Given this was added to the book and therefore indicative of the developer's intention to feature it in Episode Noctis, I wonder if it had always been their desire to explore his time in the Crystal this way but never got the time to realize in the final game. Noctis actually getting to see and interact with the past and other significant figures would have made for a far more effective 'Black Moment' given its prolonged introspective and revelatory nature.

THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

To help guide and comfort him as she always has, I believe that somehow seeing or hearing Luna's spirit again in some way during the 'Black Moment' would have been essential given her narrative purpose and provide a satisfying reference back to her dying promise to him:

"When the world falls down around you and hope is lost. When you find yourself alone amid a lightless place. Look to the distance, know that I am there and that I watch over you always." - Lunafreya

Like the moon shining in his dark prison cell in the old version - the literal light in the night sky - she is the reminder of love and hope to cling to when the darkness threatens to swallow him. This dialogue is so accurate to this scene that I feel it was foreshadowing it specifically to payoff here. Also, if they had gone with the idea of Noctis drawing his power from the moon instead of the Crystal, her presence would be even more significant here and it certainly seems like the original version in Angelgard attempted to spotlight her to a degree as the translated dialogue after he accepts his charge reveals:

"No one tells me anything. I'm always late accepting. Luna, I'm sorry. I will fulfill my duty." - Noctis (Translated by K as in Kei)

This situation creates an even deeper connection between them as, to save the world together like they were destined to do, both Noctis and Luna have to die and surrender their personal desires for a future. As in life, Noctis has to continue to follow her lead and example to become the man she always knew he could be. If she could be dutiful and walk boldly to her fate, so can he and that knowledge would be paramount in helping to encourage him to complete his journey as he remembers his promise not to let her down.

Of course, to truly accept his death, Noctis would naturally have to mourn the life he won't get to live. So many aspects of his life have been derailed already and, after the loss of his father, his home and his fiancé, he now has to face that he has no future beyond being a sacrifice. This is a reality that Luna had to face as well, which would help him better understand what she had to go through and even come to terms with her death as he comes to terms with his own. By letting go of the guilt he feels and truly recognizing that it was an inevitable and accepted part of her calling and not a product of his own mistakes, can he start to forgive himself for everything else, too.

"[...] That may be but it's my choice. If only... if only I could hear his voice once more. If we could laugh together as we did as children. If we could live out our days together as we once dreamed. [...] Forgive me, I vowed to only cry where prying eyes could not see the tears in mine. [...] No, she is no different at all. She wants exactly what they do: to be with the one she loves. But want though she may, it is not to be." - Lunafreya

In a moving flashback, we see Luna grieve the life she wanted and knew she would never have but emphasize that, despite her sorrow, it was still her choice to "throw her life away" and one that she accepted fully with humility and grace. We see her persist to the end due to her strong sense of duty and, most importantly, her love and dedication to Noctis and the people of the world which is what he must use to guide him as well.

To me, this moment feels reminiscent of the campfire scene where Noctis also tearfully voices his acceptance of his fate while allowing himself to uncharacteristically reveal the pain of it, too. Though Noctis has had a decade to process these feelings by this point and fully come to terms with them, he's still a person mourning the sudden finality of his life and the now fleeting moments he'll get to spend with his remaining loved ones. The emotional strength of this scene could act as a reflection of his initial despair as the pain becomes fresh once more but, this time, Noctis is more readily able to tame it. As he stands and looks to each of his friends in turn, reflecting on their friendship and his love for them, he allows that love to outweigh fear and grief. As we watch his tears turn into a smile, it is a perfect display of how he's grown from the 'Black Moment' and a fitting final scene to the game.

"So, I... I've made my peace. Still, knowing this is it and seeing you here, now, it's... more than I can take. Well, what can I say? You guys are the best." - Noctis

All of this emotional progress would also lead him to simply start believing in himself and his worth. He has to remember that he has the support of so many who truly have faith in his ability to fulfill his duty and it's something he needs to accept in himself, too. If they had gone with the Angelgard prison version, a place once defined by punishment would herald Noctis' liberation and, instead of succumbing to darkness like Ardyn, he found light.

METAMORPHOSIS

By reflecting on and embracing his past and remembering what drives him, Noctis would then be ready to finally accept the reality of his calling and begin his metamorphosis, both physically and emotionally, into the King of Light. The man that emerges 10 years later is wise, mature and at peace with his fate. Though the sudden change may not feel as congruent in the final game without taking the time and necessary steps to get there, there are still many moments depicting just how far Noctis has come after the time skip that leave an impact regardless. Beyond the campfire scene, another great example that comes to mind is his conversation with Ignis, showcasing that he can now look back on his life fondly and doesn't hold onto negative emotions:

"You know, looking back, it wasn't all bad. [...] And our fair share of trouble too... but I don't have any regrets. Luna and you guys brought me this far and now I'm on my own." - Noctis

We can also see how much he's grown in his final battle with Ardyn. Not only is he physically stronger, but he's also gained the mental and emotional fortitude to withstand Ardyn's denigrations regarding his efficacy as the Chosen One and his guilt about his father and Luna. Though these barbs would have hit their mark in the past, Noctis is now resistant to them as he's fully processed those emotions and no longer gives them credence. Noctis has tasted the darkness Ardyn once knew but come out of it intact due to the strength of his relationships that ushered him through it. Unlike Ardyn, he is not alone and he fights for love instead of revenge and that is why he succeeds.

"Yet when your father died, you were off playing with your friends! When your beloved died, you lay watching powerless to stop it! You think 10 years is a long time? It is nothing to me! I have lived in darkness for ages!" - Ardyn

Despite what some might think, defeating Ardyn in the physical world is not the Climax. It's in the throne room that Noctis must face the true test of his calling and finally allow himself to be sacrificed. This is where the themes and the lessons he's embraced from the 'Black Moment' rise to the forefront and lead to Ardyn's ultimate demise. It is here that Noctis walks to his death without visible fear, summoning his own executioners with steeled resolve. There are no tears. No second thoughts. Just an unwavering determination to fulfill his calling and save the world once and for all as he assures his father to trust in his ability to do so.

"I'm home. I walked tall and though it took me a while, I'm ready now. I love you all. Luna, guys, dad. The time we had together, I cherish." - Noctis

Through dialogue, the scene reminds us that Noctis' relationships are his driving force and, in what could have been an even more moving parallel to the 'Black Moment', the flashback footage of his loved ones that he remembers at his lowest once more is what helps him endure the agony of his sacrifice and is enough to sustain his strength to continue to the end.

"It's finally over." - Noctis

As Noctis utters these final words at the culmination of years spent in turmoil facing the obstacles of his unjust fate, Noctis dies with a small smile on his face, relieved that his struggles are finally over. He has restored light and hope to the world, fulfilled his calling and can now rest with his lost love knowing he succeeded in safeguarding his remaining loved ones and provided a future for generations to come. It's a bittersweet conclusion to his life - one filled with great strife and heartache but also great love - love that was essential to save the world.

In another parallel between them, Noctis' end reminds me of Ravus' words regarding the death of his sister, Luna, in Episode Ignis and further showcases how much Noctis succeeded in following her footsteps:

"I always knew that [Luna] would face [her] fate without fear, fulfill [her] duty without regret. But part of me always hoped... she would get the chance to live and love as she pleased. [...] And, as in life, I know she will confront that challenge with a smile on her face." - Ravus

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, allowing Noctis to have a stronger reaction to the devastating news of his fate and exploring his passage to acceptance to provide necessary character growth would have been a huge improvement and further embodied and enhanced the heart of this story, one that, though touched upon to a degree, is lacking the immense impact it could have had. Though this game is full of powerful, moving moments, a more successful 'Black Moment' could have been one of the strongest and added more weight to an already emotionally resonant conclusion.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this meta, please like and reblog to help spread it around!

[piracytheorist]

Twilight Eyes Project: "Secure a Wife" (part 2)

First part here

Naturally, "Twilight eyes" stay on during his side mission with Franky. Then he bursts into Camilla's party, wounded and disoriented enough to mess up his introduction.

And thus... slightly different expressions from manga to anime.

In the manga, it's full-on Twilight eyes. Brow going downward to the center, focused and narrowed eyes. The anime has the first two, though as of focused eyes... they make use of animation to show he's so shaken he can't focus his eyes on one place. His slip-up does look funnier when he's trying to present himself as Very Put Together™ as he does in the manga, but I think it's funny either way. Also, I appreciate the small extra whump bone from the anime.

Continuing on the humorous aspect, he switches all the way to reassuring Loid eyes as he tells everyone how absolutely, definitely normal his situation is. No biggie. Just a head flesh wound. He sleeps those right off.

"Loid eyes" stay on as he continues his ploy. Nothing to see here, please continue, are you having fun, my dear wife whom I definitely did not meet just a couple days ago?

Those eyes keep up until Camilla tries to embarrass Yor in front of everyone with details about her "past job"... and here goes.

Loid eyes. He will show everyone how proud he is of his wife.

But then, slowly, his eyes don't look so strained anymore...

... until they're outright sad eyes.

The direct proof (along with the short flashback) that what Twilight says there is the truth for him: he doesn't judge Yor, instead, he honestly supports and praises her for her dedication and her strength.

And when he finishes his praise, he looks towards the others... and the audience doesn't get to see his eyes.

Yor does.

And the truth she sees in his eyes is enough to not only bring tears to her eyes, but to also stay with her and give her strength multiple chapters/episodes later.

This smile isn't the one he actually gave her. But it's the one she remembers.

(Wrong angle in the anime, but we can forgive that)

They leave Camilla's party, get attacked by the smuggling ring, Twilight knocks a few of them out and tells Yor to run for it, Twilight eyes on as he keeps himself alert for any possible attack.

Yor voices her worries about the well-being of his "patients"... and what else can he do but put on the Loid eyes. Which I'm actually sure weren't necessary with her, lol.

Unstoppable force (Yor believing everything she sees and hears) meets immovable object (Twilight suspecting everything and everyone).

Subtle Twilight eyes as he starts to question... well, his own judgment, at this point 😆

They get attacked, and Yor kicks a guy into another dimension before he can hurt Loid. And!

I would just really like to know what his thought process here was. This look is on the verge between "Loid eyes" and "real eyes". But this next panel/shot feels like it's closer to "real eyes".

He was actually amused by how far she kicked that guy, huh 😆

They kick a few more guys' asses, then Yor drops the "why don't we get married" question. Twilight is, understandably, shocked and confused. It's actually something he'd planned for, but it came unexpectedly and just so freely and willingly from Yor.

When his mind picks up from the shock, he puts on the thought process.

And we get investigative eyes.

Twilight accepts, gives her the best marriage proposal to ever grace a screen, starts with Loid voice for "Even in sickness, or in sadness," and switches to Twilight voice for "No matter what hardships await us, let us be there for each other."

Twilight eyes as he finishes his vows,

And... this, as he thinks "Until my mission do us part"

I want to make it clear that I completely doubt he'd already grown any feelings for Yor already. Probably the only thing he'd feel for her at that point was that he sympathized with her mental fortitude and willingness to sacrifice herself in order to protect and support someone she cared about. The pleasant face he has at the end could be merely his expression of relief that the mission was going smoothly.

But then, isn't that what becomes the foundation of the feelings he'll grow later? The relief that she is the kind of person who will protect the peace he fights so hard to maintain himself? A relief that will grow strong enough to lead him into revealing true parts of himself to her?

There's definitely a lot to take away just from the way Twilight's eyes are drawn, in any case.

(anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[ofswordsandpens]

I've enjoyed episode 3 the most so far, but I think the show is still struggling to find a good balance between taking itself seriously and the absurdist humor that RR writes with. My main takeaways:

The Fight Scenes (or Lack Thereof?)

It seems very peculiar to me that the show is just speed running through its battle scenes. Again, it feels very much like the product of Disney trying to sanitize anything that's too extreme?

The trio fleeing from the kindly ones in the book ended with Percy taking control of the bus and then crashing it. It explodes. They lose all of their stuff (money, food). In the show, they simply bail out the back window. No true panic. No tension. Just, okay :) we're leaving now :)

The Medusa Scene. I'll speak more to this later, but in terms of the fight we get to see... well we get to see nothing. Apparently this fight required us to view it through the lens of the invisibility cap (ie. not at all),

I understand this show is intended for a younger audience, but the books are as well. Even the movies, which are pg, came up with better ways to show things without necessarily showing things. As a result, it feels like anything that might induce the slightest bit of tension or fear are sanded down and its honestly doing such a disservice to the books and the audience.

Medusa

I actually really liked this portrayal of Medusa. The 1950s housewife vibe landed well for me. And I loved the actress's voice -- very soft and soothing but always sounding as if she were just about to cry.

Also, I really liked her dialogue. Her digs at Athena and Poseidon were perfectly tragic.

That being said, I really prefer the trio's arrival to the emporium in the book. In the books, they've been wandering the woods and are lost and exhausted and hungry because of the battle/bus crash where they've lost all of their stuff. It almost feels like the emporium popping up "out of nowhere" was more of it finding them.

Meanwhile in the show, Grover finds it through scent on a satyr path and they immediately know its Medusa, which imo takes out so much of the fun of it all??? In the books, they dont know. Grover's just like, freaking the ever living fuck out, and clearly Percy and Annabeth have let him take sole custody of the shared brain cell, cause they're more concerned about getting some food than anything else

Just... RIP dumbass shenanigans

And honestly, I'm not really sure what necessitated the change here in the show (of them not being tricked). It would have been one thing if they were going to change Medusa entirely to not wanting to harm them at all, but imo, I think its arguable/evident that show Medusa was looking for an excuse to petrify Annabeth and Grover (at minimum) regardless of anything.

Honestly, I would have had the show loosely play it out as: book arrival (they dont know its Medusa), keep the dumbass energy and banter, the trio figures out it Medusa while they're eating, Medusa is the more sympathetic version we see in the show, regardless it still ends with the battle.

Also, I do mourn the book battle. The panic and absurdity is just handled better imo. Annabeth shoving them off the bench, Grover flopping all over the place with the shoes but actively getting a good few hits in, Percy having to use to the reflection to behead her... the #TeamWork was emphasized a little more there to me.

Characterization

I think the show is absolutely nailing certain parts of the characters.

They've gotten Percy's anger and his derision towards the gods down. But, I think they're actually underscoring some of his, idk, sincerity? His kindness? It was the line "she met a pinecone's fate" that just rang off to me. While undoubtedly funny, it's just such a stark difference from his reaction to Thalia's story in the books, where he was unsettled by her fate and felt a sincere sympathy for her. The line in the show I assume is meant to criticize the gods, but still, it feels like it comes at the expense of the sensitivity that he has.

They've gotten Annabeth's bluntness, intelligence, pride, and superiority down cold. No question about it. But I feel like they just need to let her be more of a 12yo kid?

Like. In canon she and Percy banter and argue over the silliest of things. She plays hacky sack with Grover and Percy. She blushes and hyperventilates when Luke interacts with her. Episode 3 is like the first time we've gotten to see her do something remotely childish (buying all that candy) and I'm just dying for more of that!! She's not the "mom" of the group and she has her canon dumbass moments. I'm hoping more of this is captured moving forward. They've gotten a good start on the banter, but let Annabeth be more silly! Cause she is!

(Absolutely none of my personal qualms about the characterization are Walker or Leah's fault. They've done amazing. It's the writing/directing I'm side-eyeing).

OH! And I'm sorry but Percy being like "Annabeth we're going to bury medusa with your hat on" would have never ever flown with Annabeth. In no world.

But Grover eating them up at the end? Iconic. Good for him.

[queer-ragnelle]

Understand is is a very weird question to get out the blue so no offence taken if this gets left in the inbox, but I was wondering how (if at all) to integrate transgender knights into arthurian retellings/adaptations ect while trying to keep it vaguely true to the medievalisms of the whole thing? I know its easy and liberating to just go 'fuck it everything queer' and its a totally valid way to go about it, but (as a trans person) I like having a narrative examine queerphobia and other structual issues with the setting - gives the whole thing a bit of meat (in my personal tastes). That being said, it feels like its a nightmare to try and have a transmasc knight stay stealth in this place! Everyone feels like theyre getting stipped and tended to after breaking a rib in a joust or merlin shows up and is a dick about pronouns and outs you to get you married to a Roman king. Stuff like that - things that feel a little easier to dodge when its a civillian character, not an ruling class.

Is this a 'kill the cop in your brain' kinda deal? As a queer storyteller yourself do you have any tips or strategies or tools you use to crowbar this kinda stuff a little easier together? Or do you know any stories/retellings/academic texts ect that cover these kinda things (even if its in a 'for the love of god, don't do that' way). Love the work you do for this fandom a lot, regardless of your answer! Hope you have a good day.

Hello anon! This is a great question.

Now let me preface this by saying I’m not transgender and I’m not a medievalist. There are plenty of trans medievalists on tumblr, but I’m not one of ‘em. So my answer is coming from a queer but cis author and enthusiast perspective. I'm going to provide lots of links to read things as well so everyone can draw their own conclusions from the material.

I think a large part of this does come down to “kill the cop in your head.” But at the same time, I’ve been exactly where you are wondering, “How can I make this story feel authentic to its era without torturing the trans characters?” Because you’re right, there’s a lot of nudity and close proximity interaction between knights in the medieval stories and Merlin is totally the type to be a dick about pronouns. I've also searched and struggled to find a medieval-set story that manages to incorporate queerness in a period-appropriate way (so far as we can guess) while balancing the narrative as to not tip into something deeply unpleasant for the target audience to read. (See: the series by Lavinia Collins, which has great queer rep, yay! But tons of horrors previously unseen and still unnecessary, boo!) So where does that leave us?

Well first I’m going to give you an example of how not to handle transness in an Arthurian story....

The book Once & Future and its sequel Sword in the Stars by Amy Rose Capetta and Cory McCarthy went with the phenomenon you already described as, “fuck it, everything queer.” It doesn't take place in the past, but does use the medieval stories as more than reference, it's not as divergent as something like Port Eternity by C. J. Cherryh, the reincarnated characters do interact with the past directly at times, so I'm using it as an example.

Anyway most characters are either gay (umbrella term) or trans. Except the way trans characters are treated sucks majorly (in my opinion). I completely lost faith in book 1 after the introduction of Lamorak, a gender fluid knight who uses they/them pronouns. Merlin misgenders them and gets corrected by Kay, to which Merlin does this whole self flagellation routine about. Lamorak is also disabled, missing their left hand. (Why isn't it Bedwyr? Anyway not the point...) Lamorak gets no dialogue here whatsoever, all agency is completely stripped from them regarding their disability and their gender identity. Double whammy.

This is worsened when Percival gets introduced, as Merlin then makes a point of asking for pronoun clarification in the most obnoxious way possible. To which Percival takes no offense at the weird slight against his sibling and tells Merlin his pronouns.

But what about the sequel? Surely these two queer authors improved with time.....

Is this a joke? Is this the best way they could indicate the inclusive realm of Avalon? Why not just describe the women as they are, all shapes and sizes, and let the reader figure it out? The authorial intent would be so obvious by this point. Instead they say it… like that. Gag.

It only gets worse when Mordred is born. Then they're weird about a literal infant.

What in the bio essentialism? If the characters have been living in a future that’s broken out of the gender binary, the baby’s genitals should be irrelevant. Gwen’s literally saying Mordred is going to fulfill the evil prophecy because he was born with a penis. Even if this is intended to be a teaching moment, I hate how it’s handled. These quotes are in order of appearance in the books, so after the subtextual implications of all that came before, this last part really doesn’t sit right with me. Sorry I find these books completely abhorrent. They've won awards, they’re beloved by many. Maybe it's me. But no thanks.

Honestly, so long as you're not blatantly offensive with your handling of such things, I think you'll be fine. It's important to remember that even if one is part of a demographic they're depicting, it's always a good idea to hire sensitivity readers and take that feedback seriously. Not everyone will love your work, there will be advice you don't utilize, with time you'll be able to weed out the bad faith feedback, (the "all depiction is glorification" crowd) and ignore it. But it's so important to open oneself up to constructive criticism so you can learn and your work can develop into the best possible version of itself.

Now let's get to some ways you can go about researching a way to do this that fits in your story. It’s important to remember that throughout human history, many people lived stealth their whole lives and we don’t know about them for that reason, not because no transgender folks ever lived authentically and happily in medieval times. So it’s never impossible to incorporate a trans character into a story who experiences no direct violence, even if the world they live in isn’t presented as a queer utopia. The other thing is that public opinion regarding queerness, cross dressing, etc have varied a lot over the centuries and were vastly different depending on location. Not every “woman” found in armor would have been treated as poorly as Joan of Arc. So there’s lots of wiggle room for interpretation when you go about writing these narratives. The majority of my examples deal with the ruling class so they address the concerns you mentioned with added scrutiny a noble would face if they were to experiment with gender presentation compared to a commoner. I’ll be spoiling the plots of everything on the list to make clear why I’m suggesting them.

My initial advice would be to read medieval literature with queer themes followed by essays on the subject. The best examples I know of are:

Yde et Olive

Transmasc knight (good ending). 12th century French romance. Yde’s mother Clarisse died giving birth to her & later when Yde reaches maturity, her father makes advances, so she disguises herself as a man & flees. Yde becomes a successful knight & is married to the king’s only daughter, Olive. When it comes time to consummate the marriage, Yde must confess the truth of his identity to Olive, who vows to keep it secret. This is overheard by the king who then attempts to uncover Yde’s identity but is stopped by an angel who chastises the king for harassing such a good vassal. Then Yde is transformed into a man, the king dies, & Yde is able to have a child with Olive. They name him Croissant as if it couldn’t get any more French than it already was. Anyway the story alternates pronouns for Yde given the situation which is pretty neat & in the end he gets to live his best life! Yay!

Le Roman de Silence

Transmasc knight (bad ending). A 13th century French romance about a baby girl named Silence. Silence is raised as a boy because King Eban won’t allow women to inherit property. Like many medieval romances, the hero's adventure is often punctuated with personified emotions (Dame Fortune, Lady Love, etc) but Silence is tormented by Nature & Nurture as he comes into adulthood. He becomes a knight & eventually takes on an "impossible" quest, to capture Merlin, which supposedly can only be done by a woman. Content warning for the ending, it does not go well for Silence. Merlin reveals his backstory, & he’s forced to take a feminized version of his name, live as a woman, & marry the king to keep his lands.

Wigalois by Wirnt von Grafenberg

A 13th century German romance that follows Gawain’s son, Wigalois [Gingalain], but this ain’t about him. There’s a character Marine who fights as a knight. She’s consistently referred to with she/her pronouns, but she’s renowned for her knightly virtues & fights alongside the men in the war. She’s treated very well narratively & dies in battle after apprehending a high-value hostage. Everyone mourns her & there’s a big funeral held in her honor. So even if Marine never presented herself as a man the way Yde or Silence do, she provides an example of a female thriving in a male role. Food for thought.

Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach

Another German banger from the 13th century. This one’s about a cis male knight but Parzival has transmasc vibes. Trust me. Here’s my favorite article about it called The Clothes Make The Man - Parzival Dressed & Undressed by Michael D. Amey that really illustrates what I mean.

After that, you can check out these retellings:

The Story of Silence by Alex Myers

I bought this but haven't read it yet. It’s a retelling about the aforementioned Le Roman de Silence. This book uses neutral they/them pronouns to refer to Silence, which I can say from experience sometimes causes confusion with readers, so it's good to study how this author did it & determine if that method feels right for you. (If you ever decide to do something like that with a character.)

Spear by Nicola Griffith + Spear's Author's Note

I enjoyed this one, beautiful prose. It didn’t feel like the most comprehensive Grail Quest retelling, but Peretur can be interpreted as a butch lesbian or transmasc, it’s ambiguous. She only uses masculine pronouns when stealth, otherwise using she/her, but it has a happy ending! It’s firmly set in the era & felt authentic on that front while letting the queer characters relax. Peretur isn’t alone. (A/G/L enjoyers keep winning + sapphic lady of the lake ftw + the other hotties Peretur pulled.) Definitely worth checking out.

The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman

This book just came out in 2024. Including it here is already a spoiler given the topic but I’m going to spoil fully from this point on so ignore this if that’s a problem. This is the best example I can give for your reading/writing tastes based on the ask; Dinadan is a trans man. His transness isn’t revealed in the main character Collum’s pov, but in Dinadan’s backstory pov, opening in his childhood. He & his twin brother were sent to different schools but young Dinadan would leave the girl’s school to practice knightly skills with the fay, which retroactively explains why he has a fairy sword that Collum was admiring. In exchange for this training, the fay ask that Dinadan slay Merlin. Which he agrees to while never believing he actually can, but the wrath of the fay in the afterlife is worth his ability to live as a knight. I love how it was all handled firstly because Dinadan has a fighting style that works for his smaller frame & because every knight has a different fighting style (Dagonet’s is “If it sucks hit da bricks.”) Dinadan doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb yet his physicality is accounted for. Secondly Dinadan explains the lengths he goes to in order to stay stealth from obvious ones like binding his breasts to pretending to shave his face every couple days & wearing a packer. Later on, Dinadan’s secrets are revealed when he goes swimming in the ocean with Palomides (who evidentially already knew) & Collum joins them. Collum had no idea, which I think brings up an interesting point about all of this which also reminds me of Gawain not recognizing that Beaumains was Gareth—the power of expectation. Just as Gawain expected to find a kitchen boy & would have no reason to assume his brother (who hit puberty since they last saw each other) would be stealth in the kitchens so therefore didn’t recognize him, Collum expects to find men as knights of the Round Table, so when Sir Dinadan is introduced, & Collum had heard of him before, Dinadan’s stature & high voice don’t register to Collum as anything but traits that this guy Dinadan happens to have. Learning Dinadan’s secret in the presence of another knight who already knows & is chill about it also encourages Collum to be accepting too. So giving Dinadan at least one ally in his corner throughout the story went a long way. In the end Merlin, who can only be killed by a man (which is why Nimue had to settle for sealing him away) is stabbed by Dinadan. So it’s like a reverse Silence/Éowyn situation that Dinadan’s gender is affirmed in his ability to kill Merlin. This book also includes the part from Le Morte d’Arthur where Dinadan’s forced to wear a dress, which in this context is very transphobic, but that’s the point. It’s made better when Dinadan gets to go insano style on Merlin so he gets payback. Just a heads up about that.

Some fantasy/scifi that’s not Arthurian but may help, as Arthuriana is largely fantasy to begin with, this may help you determine where on the spectrum your taste/writing falls regarding the bending of reality/history to fit your narrative.

Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf

1928 novel about a character named Orlando living during the reign of Elizabeth I. Orlando is born male, then at some point in his early adulthood, falls into a deep sleep from which he awakens the exact same person, now metamorphosed to be female. Orlando, for her part, adopts this new role immediately & keeps on moving. She lives for 300 years as such & has many adventures, including an instance where she then presents as a man to elude marriage. Transitioned so she could cross dress in the other direction. She would’ve done numbers on tumblr. Ultimately, Orlando does marry… a gnc sea captain! The success of their marriage is attributed to their similarities in gender non-conformity. Even though this book only remains in the late medieval era for the opening, I think it’s a poignant example of a transgender individual living their life in their time & still getting to enjoy themselves without excessive suffering that may provide lots of inspiration.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

1970 Hugo & Nebula award winning novel. A fascinating examination of gender from the point of view of a cis man named Genly Ai having to reconcile his interpretation of the gender binary when confronted with a society who operates outside that. His travels with ambisexual Estravan challenges what Ai understands about the universe. His ignorance forms the backbone of the narrative as he grows close to a person from this other society. Even if it’s not a medieval setting, it may help you develop a narrative voice regarding this subject you’re able to bring to your work. Also it’s just really good.

The Privilege of the Sword by Ellen Kushner

2007 Locus award winner, Nebula & Gaylactic Spectrum nominee. High fantasy medieval setting. Katherine is a country girl brought to the big city Riverside by her uncle the Duke where she’s offered the opportunity to train as swordsman (ie cross dress) instead of political marriage. She’s unsure of the reasoning behind her uncle’s motivations for doing this, but goes along with it & kicks ass. A preview is available on Google books (linked).

The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb

This is my favorite series ever. It spans 16 books published between 1995-2017. The fandom on tumblr & ao3 is hugely active. (Avoid tags to dodge major spoilers or check it out for amazing art & many quotes!) The series has many gnc characters in a fantasy medieval setting. First & foremost, The Fool, who’s in all the books & whose gender ambiguity is mentioned book 1, to which he says, “None of your business.” The character ever. Without getting too specific, there are several trans characters including gender fluid characters who will alternate between masc/fem presentation & pronouns. This is my favorite example of gender fluid characters in any fantasy I’ve read, especially since there are several & each feels unique. In The Liveship Traders trilogy, Amber coaches another woman how to hide her period while pretending to be a ship’s boy by using a sock, so if anyone finds the blood on it, she can say she cut her foot. Little things like that really deepened the realism in an otherwise fantastical story for me, because addressing those details answers questions my overly analytical mind would ask & wonder about if unacknowledged.

Lastly I'd like to suggest the article Armour of an Alienating Identity by Jeffrey Jerome Cohen. While it doesn't mention Parzival (the text), it does mention Perceval (the character), as well as Gareth Beaumains, Lancelot, Gawain, Yvain, and even Arthur himself. It goes on to reference endless examples to support its thesis including Greek heroes such as Achilles and Odysseus with references to many different medieval stories from Old English Beowulf to the Irish Ulster cycle to the works of Geoffrey Chaucer. Most (if not all) of the texts mentioned in this essay can be found on my blog for cross reference if you desire, although the article already contains many quotes.

Okay I think that’s all I got. I’ve given you a ton to think about and read. Ultimately I don’t think there’s a clean cut answer for this. Nuance, you know? Having hired an editor and many sensitivity readers myself, it really is just a professional a vibe check sometimes. You write what you want to the best of your ability, then other people weigh in, and you keep tweaking it until it’s as good as you can possibly make it. During development, and even in its final form, there will be people who don’t enjoy your story and that’s fine. It isn’t for everyone, it’s for you and your audience. No single experience in this life is the same so each fictional depiction emulating life will also be unique, there’s no “right” answer on how to write this or anything else, only the way you want to.

Hopefully now you have some tools to help you learn how best to express your vision. I know they gave me a lot of insight and ideas I lacked before when writing trans characters in my books. Thank you for trusting me with this question and good luck with your project! Take care! :^)

[autumnhortsnort]

Hello coauthor! A Residuum reader here. One thing I really like about your comic is how the consequences of the characters' actions feel so plausible, but what stands out to me the most is the pacing in how they're presented throughout the story. Do you have any tips for structuring a plot? Every time I try to outline mine, it feels a bit incoherent, and the scenes don’t seem to flow well together. I’d appreciate any advice 🐢

best advice? Write the whole outline down as much and as far as you can, doesn't matter if it makes sense, that's for editing you to figure out. Then edit the ever-loving daylights out of it, add in connecting actions, and take out things that don't work. Residuum has had Five different drafts, with major tweaking as we go. The outline is not set in stone.

Also don’t share it outside of friends, that can make you feel pressured to stick to (the previous plot) even when it doesn’t work for how your story has progressed. There’s a reason we didn’t share any of the potential endings when we were still trying to figure out where the story was going. When the first arc was being posted we had an idea of the plot til about halfway through arc 4, but we didn’t actually have a concrete ending.

how we structure a plot (and do pacing)

Write out your main plot points and then write what the characters need to do to make that event happen. We basically do the plot mountain structure, but for each arc (there are 4 of them) we tend to make the climax of each arc into turning points or decisions that the main characters have to make that they cannot undo. here's a good article to read about structuring plots. (Note! This is for the broad spanning major plot beats, each update actually gets written as needed, they aren't written into the outline.)

When it comes to character decisions it’s more about, “what would make the character do this?” rather than, “would the character do this?” You can make characters do things they normally wouldn’t if you give them the right incentive.

For the pacing with residuum, because it’s serialized, we try to have something progress with each update. Either you learn something new, the plot has progressed (aka the status quo has changed), or there's set up/foreshadowing for later, most updates actually have all three. When writing in a serialized format (each chapter getting its own release) it’s a good idea to treat each update as a complete chunk. Try asking yourself: what is the goal for this part? are you using this update for anything actually important? are you conveying anything new and/or important to the plot? Is this something you want to focus on? Are you writing this to meet audience expectations or because you want to? There are parts where residuum gets almost no interaction but, importantly, those parts still meet our individual update rules. If you're writing for audience engagement you are going to get discouraged from writing long spanning plots very quickly. The audience doesn’t know whats coming, so they won’t interact with anything that doesn’t have their current blorbo™, even if it’s plot important.

for how we make the consequences make sense

Make things make logical sense? honestly i don't what to tell you.

We read. a. lot. I used to read 400 books over a school year, beaze has read about 13.6K fanfics on Ao3 over the course of 4 years. plus a ton of manhwa and manga, and that doesn’t include nonfiction, stuff from sites outside of Ao3, course assigned books, reddit fiction, royal road. Most of how we understand and structure plots is instinctual because we fire hosed our brains with them for years.

I'd recommend watching watching Overly Sarcastic Production’s Trope Talks, and reading stuff that's not rise related, as well as researching nonfiction stuff that's relevant to what you want to write we are at a place where we aren’t writing the outline anymore, just editing it if needed. We use the outline structure to make each update because it gives us a objective for the update, and gives us a road map for when to place the set up for future updates. But if you struggle to use outlines you can just… not use them. Garden writing is a valid writing strategy, I use it for one shot AU’s of residuum.

For long spanning stories written garden style the first draft can be your outline. Just edit and flesh it out once you’ve written it.

[cat-clawz]

As far as walkback/apology videos go, I think that this one was really solid in terms of how it handled everything! Here's why I think that:

1. They were straight to the point, no beating around the bush. It was a 4 minute video, and they started addressing stuff right out of the gate.

2. They actually apologized. Not an "ohhh I'm sorry you all didn't understand our vision" but an actual "we messed up" and "we're sorry for the way we handled this as well as the way we communicated it" (those last two are actual quotes)

3. They addressed many of the specific concerns we've been having (although not all of them; I'm sure some need a little more planning) which shows that they were actively listening to us. They addressed:

-Us feeling like our current support was not appreciated by them/that they were shunning their youtube audience

-The poor delivery of the original video (I think they probably could have said a little more about this one but I digress, they still addressed it)

-their statement about how anyone could afford 5.99 a month

-how they kinda screwed over their Patreon when they did this

-Exactly why they decided to do this, clarifying more than just saying "we wanted higher/more tv-quality content"

4. They gave a plan of DIRECT ACTION as to how to fix the problems:

-they gave their patrons free access to watcher TV

-they changed the model of watcher TV so that videos are placed on YouTube, with ads, 1 month after they're released on watcher TV without ads

-they've offered refunds for anyone who already paid for watcher TV who isn't down with the new model.

Overall, while I'm still a little wary of them given their initial release of this, this is a really big and honestly well-done step in setting it to rights.

[hotwaterandmilk]

2024 English language manga releases I'm enjoying

Here are a couple of titles I've picked up in English so far this year that I've enjoyed. Most of these I read digitally in Japanese for one or two volumes a couple of years back, but opted to wait and purchase the English print versions for my collection.

I feel like all of these books are worth the purchase price, but don't have the energy to do individual posts for each of them. So here's a very smooshed together post covering a few 2024 reads.

GOGOGOGO-GO-GHOST! from Yen Press

Akechi Ushiro is a heavily flawed, hard-working woman whose disregard for her own wellbeing results in her coming face-to-face with her equally flawed guardian spirit, Masako. The pair decide to combine their forces and begin tackling the obstacles in Ushiro's life using curses.

Hiruzuka Miyako's darkly funny tale of a woman taking control of her life alongside her queer sister spirit is such a delight . Featuring a rough-and-ready art style that helps underscore the macabre elements at play, the entire first volume is scathing in its humour and unashamed in its portrayal of Ushiro's flaws. I was surprised when this one got picked up by Yen Press a while back, but so happy to see it enjoying a stateside release. If you're after something that doesn't always play nice, GOGOGOGO-GO-GHOST! might well be for you.

Edit: If you haven't read it before, this Japanese interview with Hiruzuka is worth reading for a bit more on her background and the creation of the series.

Pass the Monster Meat, Milady! (Akujiki Reijou to Kyouketsu Koushaku) from Kodansha USA

A sweet little fantasy romance between two individuals who find solace in one another despite being reviled by the general public for their interest in monsters. One loves defeating monsters in battle while the other loves cooking them!

Melphiera is a smart, capable heroine while Aristide Rogier du Galbraith is a dashing and supportive hero. The manga art is a bit low in detail, but the characters and story are absolutely worth your time. I'd love to see the LNs that the manga adapts in English someday too. I mentioned in tags before this whole series gives me the types of vibes I enjoy in historical fantasy romance novels, so if you like that kind of content this might be a good title to check out (or recommend to friends who appreciate romantasy but haven't tried manga before).

In The Name of The Mermaid Princess (Mio no Na no Moto ni) from VIZ Media

In a country where being "unhuman" or in some way supernaturally inclined is seen as a curse rather than a blessing, Princess Mio takes medications to suppress her mermaid-esque traits and please her father. Her perspective changes when Yuri, a tutor from her fiance's home kingdom, encourages her to be herself and embrace the things that make her different.

I've seen people say this is a bit too obvious in its parallels between fantasy oppression and IRL issues, but this is a Ribon manga for young girls so yeah it's on the nose but I think it works for the audience it has in mind. Tashiro Miya's artwork here is gorgeous and both leads are quite endearing (Mio is SO freakin adorable I can'ttttt). Overall a solid little series with nicely packaged volumes for those after something for a younger audience.

The Moon on a Rainy Night (Amayo no Tsuki) from Kodansha USA

A romantic slice-of-life tale featuring two high school girls, one of whom is a budding pianist (Saki) and the other a loner who is hard of hearing (Kanon).

I don't normally go much on high school romance but the way this series blends classic GL melodrama tropes with genuine issues in an earnest manner works for me. While we see things more from Saki's viewpoint as she eagerly tries to learn more about Kanon and tries to figure out her own sexuality, we do also come to understand Kanon's thwarted ambitions and the difficulties she has with letting people in.

Kuzushiro's art is quite whispy and cute, with all the characters tending to look quite well-realised on the page. While I prefer romances that feature a character with disability to centre their perspective, I do feel this does a decent job of portraying both girls as they try to navigate their deepening relationship. YMMV on this though, particularly if you are d/Deaf or hard of hearing.

Sketchy from Kodansha USA

Ako is living an unfulfilling life with a dull job and even duller boyfriend, but she suddenly finds herself thrust into a whole new world upon encountering a mysterious young skateboarder.

Sketchy, while ostensibly about women taking up skateboarding is more a snapshot of their individual lives and the role having a hobby plays once you're no longer a child. Ako's story particularly resonates with me (I literally worked her job at a similar age) but all the characters prove interesting in their own way.

Makihirochi's art is a bit more experimental than others on this list and may not be to everyone's taste, but I do think Sketchy is still worth checking out even if you're not entirely sold on the art (which I think has improved since I first became familiar with her work through Itsuka Tiffany de Choushoku o in Comic Bunch). Titles like this, which, let's face it, have low levels of mainstream appeal, don't often get English language releases so I highly recommend supporting this one if you have the opportunity to do so.