#like i told her about having autism and adhd (she has adhd)

[rackartyg]

in therapy today i just talked about the dark urge and astarion and my therapist was elated about it. it was fantastic. “wow you’ve really been using this story and those characters to process things. that’s amazing!”

the era of being ashamed of my interests is over. it’s apparently Cool and Healthy to use fiction to cope. i wish i could tell fifteen year old me about this it would blow her mind

[5-htagonist]

i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise

[newwave-lesbian]

.

[bakafurai]

man I don't know what my mum was expecting when i started nitpicking her joke bc one part didn't make sense to me like,,,, i'm autistic I just kinda Do That(tm) sometimes sorry 😔

[victory-cookies]

add another tally to ‘genetic potential for having adhd’ boys. first tick being the fact that my grandfather has it. Second one being that. well I don’t know what my dad has going on but it’s something. Third one being that my sister’s therapist just told her she may have adhd

[canis--familiaris]

My last therapist told me that she didn't think I had Autism when I brought it up because I can kinda understand social cues sometimes as opposed to never understanding them and because I don't have meltdowns over my hyperfixations (and she told me to tell my friends and partner to stop saying they think I have it too)... but sometimes I still wonder if I have it (or maybe ADHD? Or maybe both??)... maybe I'll never know and I guess that's alright

[aprillikesthings]

So this is somewhat of a continuation of my "you could headcanon Catra as demisexual based on canon" post, but I wanted to write a new post for this.

So there’s a fascinating conversation to be had about why, in fics where Catra and Adora aren't together (yet), so many of us have written Adora as…not a prude per se, but far less likely to hook up with other people—and have written Catra doing that, instead. (I mean, I have an unpublished WIP that includes that; I'm not throwing stones at glass houses here.)

And I do think some of it is that Adora is awkward in that way that’s so often some combo of a sheltered upbringing/ADHD/autism; whereas Catra is in fact more openly flirtatious.

(Disclaimer: In this post I'm using "slutty" in a neutral-to-positive sense.)

But the irony is that One, plenty of people who share those qualities with Adora are in fact hella slutty*; and Two, Catra clearly doesn’t intend to follow through on all that flirting.

ANYWAY time for my actual thesis of this post:

The real reasons, IMHO, that it's easier to see Adora as less slutty than Catra:

Adora is so visibly uncomfortable in her skin, and Catra is not

Adora doesn't even realize when she's attracted to other people

Catra however is aware of when people find her attractive (and changes how she interacts with them based on that)

The tweets aren't connected; they weren't part of the same thread. But ND's made no secret of the fact that he gave Adora a bunch of his own traits**, and it was after s5 that he started coming out as trans--which isn't to say Adora is intended to be read as dysphoric. But the way Adora never thinks of herself or what she wants carried over into not thinking about her physical body as anything other than a tool, and not feeling comfortable in her body, and not feeling like she owned it. (Which....is probably related to ND's religious trauma, considering how many conservative/fundie Christians straight-up tell women and girls their body doesn't belong to them. In those words. Literally.)

And I think that's part of why Adora reads as so awkward. The idea of someone wanting her and finding her attractive is just bizarre to her to the point that she doesn't even see it.

She does clearly find other people attractive! But I don't think she realizes she's doing it--she reminds me a bit of when I was 15 and stared at women in bikinis on the beach and tripped over my own feet because I was looking at them and not where I was going lol, and had literally zero idea I was doing it until my best friend told me about it later.

Adora didn't even know she wanted to kiss Catra until just before it happened--if Glimmer had pulled Adora aside in the Crimson Waste and said "lol you want Huntara so bad," Adora would've been genuinely confused!

And that's all before you get into the whole She-Ra thing, and you could write a long-ass essay about Adora's sense of identity and the degree to which she sees She-Ra as herself or not. But the fact is that She-Ra has a different body than Adora! Taller, stronger, a lot more hair lol. And the people around her clearly value She-Ra differently than they do Adora. So that's a whole. Thing.

Meanwhile: Catra just feels comfier in her body. She does try to tamp down her cat-like qualities to some degree, especially in s4, but a lot of it was just that her ears and tail tended to give away her emotions, and she was trying to hide them. She stops suppressing that at some point after Save the Cat. (And then the Universe gave her a mood ring alien cat, lol.) Catra's got her own pile of Issues, but her body is just not one of them.

There’s a scene at the end of The Coronation (s4ep1) where Catra is in her s4 outfit for the first time, and she basically does the “I’m in charge now” thing at Hordak, and I’m sorry but it’s...not NOT sexually charged, even leaving aside that her new outfit has thigh slits and a boob window. She’s sitting in his throne and purring (loudly!) and then purrs out a "Hey, Hordak."

She basically forces him to his knees, taunts him, and then we see from his POV as she sits back in that throne and crosses her legs. If she’d done that in a scene with literally any non-male character it would be seen as ship-bait!

Is she intentionally flirting with Hordak? Lol no.

But you'll notice: She doesn't do it with Scorpia, when she's mean to Scorpia. With Scorpia she's just...biting and cruel. So she clearly has some idea what she's doing when she taunts people, enough that she knows Scorpia would take it differently. She knows Scorpia finds her attractive and is trying to push Scorpia away.

Catra also doesn't do it with Double Trouble! Double Trouble flirts with Catra, but Catra gives none of it back, and as noted in my previous post, is even visibly uncomfortable with it at times.

Which isn't to say Adora never does the "flirtatious taunting" thing:

But like, where. Where do you think she learned it from.

(this post is once again relevant)

EDIT: another example of Adora learning it from Catra, taken from a "She-Ra Crack" video:

(*Me. In my 20’s. Just remember kids, lots of neurodivergent nerds are hella slutty.) (**iirc that's how he got diagnosed with ADHD. Everyone just like "hey is Adora intentional ADHD rep" and he was like "no, I wrote her like me?? ...oh. shit.")

(Lastly: anyone reblogging this to shame people for writing/hc'ing/shipping whatever they want will get blocked. I'm not even sure I hc Catra as demi and I wrote a whole post about it lol.)

[deepestharmonymentality]

So your girl finally had a autistic meltdown and finally asked her mum about her childhood and got some mixed results but long story short I am finally getting an official autism and adhd diagnosis because in my mums words “Everyone deserves things that make their life easier to live”. Not gonna lie guys I did cried about this but it also came up that they did tried to get me diagnosed before (I don’t remember this at all) but were told I just had very high levels of hyperactivity so to make sure this type of bullshit doesn’t happen again I am making a list of all my weird or quirky traits and having the neurodivergents of Tumblr peer review them so I can finally get a diagnosis after 19 years of struggling.

1) I didn’t ever in my life made or had friends that stick around.

2) I was actually alienated a lot by most people in my life for being the umbrella term they all coined as ‘weird’ what this weird means varies from person to person.

3) I have actually been told by other girls that they gave me a chance to keep them company even after many people told them I was too weird and they should stay away from me. These same people later called me slurs, were self absorbed or just plain abusive towards me.

4) Through out my whole life I have sat alone on a double bench because no one wanted to sit with me in class.

5) I have a problem with properly spelling certain words like I write weird as ‘wierd’ or video as ‘vedio’.

6) People constantly doubt I have any sense of knowledge and act like any good idea I give is a surprise even when I was on the top of the class the phrases like “ That’s the first good idea you ever had” weren’t uncommon.

7) I walk a lot and I mean a lot enough that hyperactivity has still been a part of my diagnostic because I walked so much they had no choice but to put that in. I actually come to the school 30 minutes early then walked the whole time, I would just up and leave classes to walk in corridors because I couldn’t sit still long enough, my walking is such a huge part of me my old teachers still tell their classes about me as the girl that walked too much.

8) People in my college nicknamed me the headphone girl because I walked around our whole campus( I would pace a lot around the parameters) with my only noticeable feature being my headphones.

9) I was the only kid in my school not scared of bugs which lead to some notable incidents

I once picked a small green caterpillar and showed it off to my class of 10 year olds they started crying and teacher made me throw the bug even though I wanted to keep it as a pet

Our teacher once asked us to bring butterflies to class so I captured around 30 butterflies put them in a breathable Tupperware and took those to class me being the only person who did this freaked out all the other children with my butterflies , we later released them all in recess it was very pretty

I not only volunteered but gleefully presented live earthworms on my palm to various groups of parents in our school science fare much to the horrified looks of many parents and children about how a little girl like me wasn’t screaming from handling earthworms.

I scared our class mean girl by capturing a butterfly and then turning my hand holding the butterfly in her direction she and a few other girls screamed when I tried to tell them that the little critter was harmless and even offered to let them hold her (I was very confused why they didn’t like this).

10) I was friends with a lot of my teachers as well as higher class teachers especially the Science, Social studies and English teachers. I would often spend my recess in the biology lab chatting with the biology teacher about the different specimens in the lab and how much I enjoyed biology in general. I am half sure I would have loved to study biology/medicine if not for the fact it was a minimum investment of 7 years though I am still an avid reader of new biological discoveries and follow many niche youtube channels that focus on flora and fauna.

11) I was actually friends with all 3 principles in my school and would go to them after my last class to chat about my school day. This was so bizarre to others but I actually enjoyed how much these adults would listen to my info dump even if my own peers won’t.

12) Every single time my report card came I would usually top the class in most subjects except maths in which I usually underperformed ( don’t worry guys I figured out later I just need to know every basic concept to get the deep understanding of mathematical principles which my teachers were very bad at build but I later learned how to do it myself) but it would always have in big bold letters that “I talked to much and have weird questions and am disruptive in class ” which my bad I thought I could get details about what your are teaching and develop great interest but nah we just need to complete the syllabus as fast as we can. Salt on the wound I would only ask questions and discuss topics in class with the teacher since I don’t have friends I could talk to in class. They deadass never ever punished a single student from disrupting in class except me the girl who asked silly questions about what we were studying maybe they thought my questions were weird so I was asking them to disrupt they flow of the class rather than genuine curiosity who knows

13) I had very bad anger issues stemming from how the system as well as authority figures treated me ( I have since been to therapy and gotten help for it ) but a lot of time I verbally and physically attacked an authority figures usually when they punished me for something I didn’t do or when they tried to empty out their frustration on me or tried to bully me in anyway. I never took bullying face down from anybody be it younger or older than me my flight or fight response was always on fight

14) People did tried to bully me physically or verbally but I always returned it in kind with interest so it never really stuck like the isolation did. My most memorable experience with bullying was when I bitch slapped our school mean girl so hard the whole ground heard it , I don’t think I ever got any punishment for it and she later burned every friendship she had by throwing her whole group under the bus for some vandalism they did.

15) I unfortunately never had friends so when they school told me telling an authority figure I am being teased, harassed or even that someone is breaking the rules is what’s morally right I ran with the rules set for me rather than knowing the social norms that this would mark me as the school snitch without the teachers ever doing anything about the issues. Unfortunately I learned the hard way through trial and error that once you are labelled as a snitch their is nothing you can do to get that tag off and it comes with the added benefit of making people never talk to each other near me or even just leave the places I visit alone so yay more loneliness for me

16) I actively volunteered for every single activity and program my school office this sounds great but I picked and got selected for all 7 different fairs (English, Hindi, Maths, Science, Social science, Music, Art) but rather than pick out one or two I helped out with all 7 of them. They later added a 3 groups per person limit.

17) I am actually trained in both classical instrumental and singing but couldn’t complete my singing degree before the program closed down and it’s been 6 years since I played a Casio that I don’t think that even matters anymore. Anyway I added this because at first I did both of these at the same time along with volunteering for all the other activities before they added a 1 course per year limit which is a shame since it cost me my vocal degree.

18) I love reading that just the fact I found reading in my school library when I was 8 haven’t let it go since by my librarian’s estimate I read almost 3000 books (mostly children books) from my school library. I also have a mini collection of about 300 books that I have passed down to both of siblings. These days I read mostly on ao3 or the occasional paperback I bought at the airport but reading is still something I do almost daily.

19) See one thing about me is I was one of the first student at my school so much so my identification number was 35 so me being such an old student my school has actually legends about my quirky ( neurodivergent ) behaviour which has made me understand where most legends actually come from

I walked out of classes so many times teachers to this day still tell stories of the weird girl that likes to walk

My whole school knew who I was mostly because I would be the first and only person that likes to answer philosophical questions asked by our principal in the assembly, I was also great with improvising assembly conductions, thought of the days, assembly quizzes, full speeches on topics told to me 2 minutes ago, even improvised song recitations (can you guys pick up I have social anxiety now).

As I told you my lovelies I love reading so if I was immersed in a book and the class started I would just hide the book to read in class once I got caught so I got termed the girl who like to read books in class( is it stupid yes did it still happened certainly). I later learned to zone out to the stories in my mind during class which was very helpful.

As I told you guys I was actually on pretty friendly terms with my principal and teachers so guess who became the teachers pet for the next 8 years even though most teachers care jack shit about my interest and was further alienated because of this me ofcourse.

I actually once locked myself in the school bathroom for like 4 hours because I hadn’t completed the homework a teacher had given me and she was quite physically abusive towards me. I got suspended for a week because of this funnily enough nobody in my school actually remember this and most are really surprised to know I was suspended.

I am actually really famous or infamous by the way you look at it for physically assaulting a teacher funnily enough the name of the teacher, why I am attacked them and even how I hit them changes from person to person I have actually heard 10-15 different variations from different people( I am not even sure if I actually ever hit a teacher most I remember is I lunged at one teacher but she stepped back so I didn’t even touch her).

20) I was depressed from age 14 to 17 which caused me to chronic pain which later caused me to meet my current psychologist who helped me a lot but is vehemently against me getting any sort of neurodivergent diagnosis most she say is I have borderline adhd tendencies and that I think to much and should focus on calming down my mind which honestly is quite invalidating.

21) I can’t wear any sort of itchy or frilly materials when I was younger ( the texture was soo bad) but my sister could which made my mother think I was being a drama queen.

22) When I was younger I use toilet paper after using a bidet because the feeling of wet pants would over stem me so bad it’s not a problem for me anymore except from sometimes during winters.

23) I didn’t know Chewelry existed when I was younger so I chewed on my nails/skin,my lips, squishy parts of remotes, plastic toys, legos, scarfs, hoody strings, hot glue gun glue, chalk, cement, sand, mud etc. (Yes I know about the microplastics now no I don’t care).

24) I am highly sensitive to sounds so if my fan have a weird creak sound I won’t be able too sleep I also can’t sleep if I hear a clock ticking or any other repetitive sounds ( my mum still doesn’t understand why I can’t just force myself to sleep).

25) I also can’t sleep in continuous silence I need background noise to fall asleep.

26) It took me a whole year of forcing myself to wear bra and panties for my body to finally get used to me wearing them. It was a stimulation nightmare but I think it was worth it I enjoy wearing bras and panties now.

27) I can’t eat apples like I physically cringe even thinking of the sensation of biting into an apple. I have tried cutting an apple into every single why I could I still can’t swallow or even properly chew an apple the texture is such a sensory nightmare for me. Cabbage used to be the same for me but though constant reintroduction I can usually for myself to eat it with a glass of water

28) I have had many foods be absolutely sensory nightmare for me throughout my childhood. I was a very picky eater think bread, soup, lentils and noodles(packet noodles without vegetables). I couldn’t eat any kinds of fruits(except banana), vegetables, pizza , burgers (still don’t eat this), dumplings, wraps, pasta,etc. Heck I was a vegetarian for majority of my life before I learned chicken is actually a great textured food for me though I still don’t eat any form of red meat or sea foods and my food list is still very limited I have constantly reintroduced many foods for myself over the years which I can now usually bear to eat. I also learned that I can usually consume fruit and vegetables better if they are liquids so fruits juices, smoothies and soups were also great help.

29) I was and still am an absolutely clean freak and organiser. Like my bag use to have books organised in this specific order English, Hindi, Maths, Science and then Social studies and it needs to been in this order or I would get anxious. Fortunately no one else in my house ever wanted to organise anything so I would organise everything with way I would want it to be while also being neat.

30) One of my biggest sources of stress came from how dirty my siblings made our room. I would deep clean everything and then organise our books , toys and clothes and then clean and organise our bed they would just bulldozers through and ruin all my hard work in a day or two. Unfortunately I had this sense of cleanliness and order since I was a child and my siblings who were even younger then me weren’t slobs(ok maybe my brother was but anyway) they just weren’t wired to like cleanliness and order like I did and being children anything I told them about how we can keep our room clean went over their heads because I was always their to do it for them.

31) I actually had many special interests growing up though I didn’t have trains as an interest except for the cool toy train set I got as a gift or the maglev trains who are objectively very cool. My biggest special interest were rocks, space and animals especially all the books Nat geography and scholastic puts out on animals. I actually had a rock collection mostly made up of sedimentary rock and a piece of lime stone which my mother later kept in the shed where it got lost during home construction. I also have a modest collection of books and another collection of small childhood trinkets that I still have (I recently bought a clay bird that mimics actual bird call when filled with a little water to add to my collection).

32) I forget I need to eat and drink it’s always been like this I don’t have that internal clock that says you are thirsty go drink water or you are hungry go eat food . I need to remind myself it’s been 12 hrs I probably need water it’s been 32 hrs you should probably get some food or at least have a protein shake it’s like my body has no sense of hunger or thirst but I am getting better at eating and drinking at least the drinking water part anyway.

33) I am tired it’s not recent but in the last few years since I became an adult I feel so tired I use to be the topper of my class the gifted children that participated in everything now I am in college and just getting an 80% feels draining everyone has so much hope for me that I could and should do better but I am just tired. I walk and trekk sometimes but I don’t participate in any events and I see others I see my roommate who participates in like 5 different events and still gets a 95% if she can do it why can’t I. I use to be able to do so much and now I don’t have the drive to do much of anything anymore it’s so painful to realise that I should do better but what does better looks like for someone who is as tired as I am.

I did took some online test as well just to see if I even had a chance and the results were mostly the same I have many Adhd/Autistic tendencies and should probably get a professional diagnosis. I would be very thankful if my fellow autistic and adhd people would help me add more targeted experiences so I can finally get a diagnosis

@my-autism-adhd-blog you inspired me write all of this down and it would be very helpful if you could guide me to get a better diagnosis because of your experience. Also I greatly enjoy the contents of your blog so thank you for that

[tiramisuwithmascarpone]

Hello! I'm a 15-year-old devotee of both Lord Hermes and Lady Aphrodite who is raised in an extremely Orthodox Christian household, and I would like to share my story with you ⋆˚ʚɞ

Hi! for safety reasons I will not use the name I usually use online for this account, but you can call me Jellyfish. I live in Eastern Europe, more exactly Romania, a country whose population is 98% devoted to Christianity at the time of speaking. My mother is a perfect example. She wholeheartedly believes in God, I grew up with pictures of him and the Holy Mary all over the walls, which I wouldn't escape even at my grandparent's houses. My house always smelled of myrrh, I would carry a picture of God everywhere I went, I would pray to him before bed, go to church on every holiday, but I never felt fulfilled or connected to him in any way. I didn't truly know what I believed in. My mother was telling me all about how should I praise God, but I don't think I ever did it because I wanted to or felt connected to what she was telling me or felt like it was the life I wanted to live. When she would fight with my father, even now, she would threaten that she would run away to a monastery and become a nun. She thinks you cannot change your religion and you can not be Christian if you were born with Christian parents and raised in that environment. I did not have faith in God because I wanted to and felt connected to his message and wanted to worship his divine being, I did it because my mother felt that way. And that destroyed me.

As I grew older, I started believing less and less in God. I was struggling with going through teenagehood, fighting my own inner battles, and dealing with friendship that slowly felt like they were taking away my lifespan, and it wasn't just that I didn't have faith in a divine being (which is completely alright. Please do not believe this monologue is Anti-Christian, I believe everyone is allowed to believe and worship the one who they feel most connected and inclined towards.) I didn't have faith in anything anymore. When my brother reached 15, he hated my parents for their beliefs. I will not get much I detail since his story is not mine to tell, but he had battled with alcohol and substance abuse. And I was his only shoulder for him and my parents to lean and cry on. My mother told me to pray for our family, she would pray to god every day, light up myrrh, take me to churches, and I would feel miserable. I felt like an imposter in that church. I truly wanted to have faith in a god, anyone, but I felt like my only choice was God since that's what my mother taught me. Both my parents trust God so I cannot be different, can I?

How foolish I was. I can only look back to my past self and wish to embrace and hold her till she cries all her sorrow out. She was so confused.

Back in 2022, I had first heard of Aphrodite. My brother was sent to a mental hospital for his substance abuse when they caught him on the verge of overdosing. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder after a suicide attempt, autism and ADHD, but my father (who already couldn't accept the fact that my brother has ADHD) fought with them saying they ,,don't know me well enough" and,,there's nothing wrong with me". And he's right, there's nothing wrong with me. Not even If I am neurodivergent. I was at my lowest, I felt disgusting, I fought with my parents and was their therapist every single day, I stopped going to school, I was a mess. But, I was heavily active on social media because I had tons of online friends. While scrolling on tiktok, I found a video of an Aphrodite devotee. My interest was piqued. I heard about Greek Mythology before but never actually researched it. I liked the video and commented, talking about how gorgeous their faith sounds, and that's when it all started. I started getting more info about Aphrodite, the swans swum by me every time I would go to the lake with my family so we could ,,get some fresh air". I started getting lots of pins on Pinterest with her. I always had a desire for water and the beach was my safe place, where I felt fulfilled and free from all I'm feeling. I had a Dove make itself a nest on a tree next to the window of my classroom which I would always sit by while having lunch (on the rare occasions I would drop by to school). I started researching more about Lady Aphrodite, loving her story, beliefs, ways of worshipping, how it felt like silence was washing over me when I would make a non-physical offering to her. Her tales. The way it felt like she was always there to give me a warm hug and squeeze me while I was crying. I also felt a boost in my confidence! I started loving my features, taking care of myself again, etc. It wasn't always just sun and rainbows, I would still have breakdowns and wish it would all just end and all that, but it was more bearable with her. She made my life more bearable. I love, worship, and adore Lady Aphrodite for that. I worshipped her till this year when I officially felt strong enough to devote myself to her.

This year, actually, I started noticing my strong connection to Hermes. I was always attracted to the kind-hearted, mischievous, kind-hearted, highly intelligent and funny thieves. I always idolized them and wished to be like them. That's how I feel about Lord Hermes. I feel like he was reaching out to me all my life. Everything he is associated with I had an inexplicable obsession with for pretty much all my life. Turtles, golden or silver, travel, learning new languages, astronomy, astrology, everything you could think of. I have been devoted to him since last month, that's when I officially started labeling myself as a Hellenic Pagan, but I am still a beginner, and I need to hide all of this from my mother since I am afraid of what she would do if she were to find out I have another belief since she reacted super badly back when I was an atheist :( I set up the first altar for Lady Aphrodite, and the second one for Lord Hermes. I always had been an artistic soul and loved making my room all pretty randomly so I told my mother this is one of those cases and she believed it. She does not know english and is not at all cultured about any beliefs besides Christians, Muslims, and Jews. They are both hidden in my closet. I feel very bad for not being able to make them a bigger and more obvious altar, I hope I'll have that chance when I move out from my parent's house..

I wanted to ask if Lord Hermes would be mad if my mom kept setting random things on his altar? she even put a picture of the Holy Mary. I moved it to the other side of the closet and made a DIY necklace for him out of orange garnet or beads to apologize to him, and he didn't seem mad, but I'm not sure...I sketched drawings of both of them and rested them on their altars. Everything you see are either offerings I heard they may like or things that reminded me of them! the little notebook on Hermes's altar is specifically made for learning new languages and thought he would enjoy it. Do you guys think any of my offerings are disrespectful? or should be removed? I'm open to any advice! Thank you for listening to my story <3

[libraford]

I am giving the kitchen a good solid clean today and remembering bitterly the time that one of the roommates poked her head into our shared office and said, clearly on behalf of her partner:

"I've got a great idea! What about we all deep clean the house today?"

Roommate had trauma about other people cleaning around her because it made her feel like she was being called dirty, and often cleaned in a way that was sending that message to us. As in- loudly sighing when she saw dirty dishes (mostly hers) or becoming cagey when a pan was left on the stovetop after use, or if there was something not pristine about the kitchen. And she was always ranting that we didn't do enough to keep the house clean and that she was always doing all the work. (Well. You see. I worked a 40 hour week and still had to come home and make dinner enough for 6, so you might see why I might not have it in me to clean after being on my feet all day- and she was unemployed.)

And I also have trauma about being told that I'm not clean enough- my mom used to refer to my room as 'the pigsty.' Which isn't fair to someone who is young and dealing with a lot of mental stress, but none of us were clear on ADHD/autism diagnoses.

Now that they're gone, I'm having to re-learn how to clean without someone over my shoulder during the process.

I decided on Tuesday that since I'm off today that today would be the day that I work on the kitchen a little, and I'm finding it easier to pick a corner and work my way out instead of trying to focus on the whole mess. Yes, that means its not sparkling clean and sometimes the mess creeps up again before the whole place is clean. But it does mean that the grime doesn't build up so much.

Last night I gave the dishwasher components a good soak and washed the thing out. Right now, I'm disinfecting the spot where our kitchen compost bin sits. Later today, I do the stove top. Tomorrow I do my workspace.

Which I think was my problem. Everyone has always looked at the whole mess of me instead of the parts that I work on. People aren't whole pictures. They're parts in cycles.

[rouge-fauna]

Some ironic/idiotic points I’ve seen way too many people say:

Tommy and Dream should have worked things out privately

How? Did you miss the part that Tommy literally blocked Dream on everything and refused to talk to Dream? How is he meant to handle it privately? Besides I’m pretty sure Tubbo in his first stream is the one that brought up things like the messages to Tommy’s mom in the first place, so if anything Tubbo is the one who brought up things to the public and made things bigger than they needed to be. Remember, his hour long stream about the meme and reasons why he dislikes Dream and how this is Dream’s “death by a thousand cuts” came first before Dream’s first stream where he reacted to parts of Tubbo’s stream.

Dream takes no accountability

He apologized for something he’s not even done, he literally took down the meme, admitted it was a bad thing to do, apologized multiple times for it, apologized for not doing a proper apology the first time and explained his reasoning. That’s literally the definition of taking accountability. Like what more do you want? Want him to beg on his knees for the internet (who called him every slur in the book) to forgive him? He made a mistake, we all do, he apologized, let’s move on, because there are parties in this drama who haven’t taken accountability or apologized so maybe we should be focused on that.

Dream and Dream Team are sexist and misogynists

Says the people who formed a nation on a role play server called L’MANberg because it didn’t allow woman (or non-Europeans). Says the guy who I get frustrated to watch because of all his sexists and inappropriate jokes (I still don’t understand how the majority of his fans are woman like heh?). Says the people who when asked why they think this only bring up recent public examples, despite a - they have always been sexists behind the scenes implication, all but one of which are bogus anyways.

Well they didn’t handle the Caiti situation properly.

What do you mean? They all responded, I’m pretty sure apologized and owned up and took Caiti’s side and made sure to tell their fandom to not go after her. Meanwhile, you think Dream should have brought her up, when she has specifically asked to not be talked about anymore. Pretty sure if he never responded he’d be bashed for not taking accountability and if he did mention her in the recent video then he’d be bashed for not respecting her wishes.

Dream’s neurodivergence (Autism and ADHD) is not important here why is it being used as an excuse.

It ain’t. I don’t think I’ve seen a single person excuse his behavior or whatever, in fact the same people pointing out the autism piece are also mostly the same neurodivergent people who are the ones upset by the use of the word. But this all blew up with the r word which Dream was told by people using it against him that it can be used by someone who’s autistic. So from the get go it’s kinda important. Then you look at the pieces, at the comments people make about Dream being weird or doing things that are socially unacceptable, is inappropriate, ridiculous…etc and then you get to a 3 hour stream of talking in circles as they can’t seem to understand eachother or at least Tubbo not understanding Dream, which afterwards Tubbo labels his Audhd way of communicating as manipulative. So yea I’d say autism, adhd and neurodivergence are pretty damn relevant and important.

Just ahhhhhsbhfnnabdnnand… I still see people condemning him for the damn r word and it’s like bruh… move on. We are way past that damn meme he apologized multiple times for at this point. Especially from the moment Tommy posted his video and weaponized his fandom against Dream. And good god, and if you didn’t watch the streams then don’t be acting like you have this hot take and posting essays and shit because damn, maybe the reason no one’s said that is because it isn’t true, something you’d known if you watched all of the streams!………….. sorry just had to get that off my chest…

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for arguing with my mom over toys?

I (15) have ADHD and autism and my mom (65) knows but doesn't really believe it. So right now, my hyper fixation is spiderman and barbie. I'm like obsessed and I love looking out for cool toys or merch of them. I rarely ever ask if I can buy them- I don't have a job yet so I have to ask my parents, but when I do it's usually a no. Wich I'm not usually too upset about, I get it. I'm a bit bitter about it, given that when my brothers (18 and 19) ever ask for something my parents will get them it with no questions asked. Besides the point.

A while back, we where in target and I was looking in the toy isle and there are these spiderman figurines and they have ones of spot, Gwen, Peter and Miles. I was obsessed the moment I saw them and asked my mom if I could get Gwen cause she's my absolute favorite. And she said no because she already has all of them at home. She hadn't told me this before but i was excited cause she showed me photos and she had all four of the dolls along with the new Margo Robbie and Ryan gosling barbie and ken dolls. The entire time she was making it out like she had gotten them for me, and I was super excited.

When we got home I waited for a bit, kinda thinking she'd bring them out and show me, but she never did so I eventually just asked "hey! Can I see the Spider-Man dolls?" And she said "no I've already put them away." Turns out she has all of them but she had no intention of ever giving me them and they're all in a bag in her closet. And so I was upset and went down to my room and ended up having a good cry cus this isn't the first time she's done something like this.

Skip forward to today, we where at Walmart and I see the Spider-Man dolls and ask if I could get one and she said "no you already have them." So I said "no, you have them. You keep them in the closet, those aren't mine." She argued back saying that they would be worthless if we took them out. (She has no intention to sell them.) But it went like that and she ended up saying fine and letting me get Gwen. She also let me get one of those 5 dollar Barbies and a Tin of popcorn that was spiderverse themed cus again, hyper fixation.

When we where leaving the restraunt, she made a snide comment telling me she spends so much on me and how I'm so ungrateful. I always say thank you and I always ask before putting things in the cart and I take good care of the dolls I have.

Later today I heard her complaining to my dad (69 haha) about it and calling me a spoiled brat and now I'm worried that I'm just being a bad person and wondering if I'm actually an asshole.

Sorry if this was all over the place, I go off on tangents alot.

What are these acronyms?

[dr-spectre]

My Splatoon Idol Headcanons!

Im so normal about them, like totally...... (note, some of them may be more serious than lighthearted so keep that in mind. i have warned you.)

Callie

Has ADHD 

Got a permanent version of the octopus tattoo that she keeps hidden with make-up when on stage. She sees it as a reminder that she has grown and to always believe that she is loved and to never listen to the dark thoughts that lie in her head

Hides most of her issues from everyone no matter how big or small because she’s scared to upset her family and friends. She'll only tell what's going on with her if someone REALLY presses her about it 

Always talks to Frye after each Splatfest loss to make sure she’s okay. She cheered extremely loudly when Team Bucket List won

Can be kind of clingy around her friends and family 

Marie

Is on the autism spectrum but has not told anyone due to feeling shame about it 

Considers Agent 3 family and treats them extremely nicely. She knew what happened to them in the Deepsea Metro

Massive Pokémon fan 

Constantly worries about Callie and was told by her that she willingly left with the Octarians. Marie checks up on her every day and needs to make a call with her otherwise she’ll get fidgety and restless 

Best friends with Marina and Big Man and they hang out when their schedules all line up

Pearl

Used to have an eating disorder that affected her health badly before she met Marina, she is currently working on eating better with Marina's help

Feels guilt and shame over being very rich and tries to do all she can to help out less fortunate people via charity and music 

Has sleeping problems and needs Marina to be in the same bed with her to fall asleep 

She still keeps up with the heavy metal scene and loves seeing new artists pop up

Loves outer space and being high in the air

Marina

Is on the autism spectrum and has told Pearl about it which she accepts and still loves her all the same

Wears her headphones as much as she can because she’s very sensitive to certain sounds and other sensations. If she becomes too overstimulated, she needs Pearl’s help to calm her down 

She loves to ramble on social media about her special interests and machinery

Is a workaholic and doesn’t like to relax for long periods of time, she must be doing something 

Wants to adopt Eight as her child but she hasn't gotten around to it or asked Eight about it due to her schedule

Shiver

Has a strained relationship with her father and mother and has low contact with them 

Has an addiction to juice and can chug down several boxes of it every day, she has kept this addiction hidden from Frye and Big Man but they have noticed an odd amount of juice boxes in the garbage 

Seeks companionship and deep connections with people badly but hides it with a cold exterior because she's scared of getting hurt or betrayed. She sometimes cries at night because she thinks she’s all alone and wants to be held 

Was an extreme perfectionist at high school and would get upset if she got decent or poor grades

Wears pajamas all the time at home and isn't the most hygienic 

Frye

Has a plushie collection that she keeps on her bed 

May have ADHD but she has not gotten a diagnosis for it yet 

Has issues with analysis paralysis and can never decide things easily 

Can be a bit too overbearing with her siblings but she means well and loves them to death 

Is deep down insecure about her appearance from seeing comments about her body online and trains her body constantly to feel good about herself 

Big Man

Is constantly overworked and wishes he could just relax

Has a vinyl collection where he has boxes upon boxes of vinyl records 

Is secretly a big fan of Off the Hook and the Squid Sisters 

He’s a pro bowling player and takes it VERY seriously even amongst friends 

Hates getting into arguments and gets very emotional even at the slightest of criticisms 

[aroaceleovaldez]

random question but i came across a post of yours where you talked about how mark oshiro sort of erased an aspect of nico's ADHD by making a joke about how he only liked mythomagic cards because he's gay and there are hot guys on the cards, and then TSATS also seemed to really downplay the themes of neurodivergence in the series. and it made me wonder if you have any thoughts on how the show has portrayed the demigods' ADHD and dyslexia so far? i've seen some people say that the show also downplayed it a lot, and i'm inclined to agree... which feels really weird considering that rick's own son's neurodivergence was specifically a major inspiration for him writing the series. but if i recall correctly a lot of scenes showcasing that in the first book were taken out of the show.

Oh absolutely, a lot of scenes and general discussion about adhd/dyslexia were removed in the show (and some of the disability-coding in general - i appreciate the change they made with making Chiron disabled based on his mythos rather than just using a wheelchair as a disguise, but i wish they had kept Grover's crutches in a similar manner honestly) - I've made a couple of posts discussing it: here, here, and this reblog is relevant to my opinions about the matter. There's probably some other stuff in my pjo tv crit tag.

I think the main sentiment i have regarding it - which i've seen a couple of other people mention as well - is how much the show ignores or outright removes and downplays Percy's personal struggles with his disabilities to instead emphasize Sally's experiences instead, particularly in manners of her taking out her stress on Percy - which alongside being completely antithetical to Sally's role in the books, is pretty ableist and why I continually compare show!Sally to Autism Speaks Parents. Autism Speaks tends to make an emphasis on the struggles of the parents of autistic children rather than treating autistic individuals like a person experiencing their own struggles. One of the major points of Sally's character (and later Paul) in the books is that she's an incredibly accommodating parent and works hard to make sure Percy is supported when he's struggling with his disabilities, because he's not been able to find that accommodation elsewhere. That's part of why Sally is such a great mom in particular, and is intentionally supposed to directly contrast Annabeth's home life struggles with her parents having difficulty navigating how to provide that same level of accommodation to help support her (and how Annabeth finds that accommodation at CHB instead, because that's the metaphor that CHB is supposed to represent - an appropriately accommodating system they can rely on, and then exploring how that's still a flawed system and looking at how disabled kids/demigods fall through the cracks and how to change the system to better support them).

The show also almost completely ignores Percy's ADHD/dyslexia experiences in general after the first episode. I was honestly really happy with, in the first episode, how clearly Percy's poor experiences in the American education system, particularly relating to his neurodivergence, have informed his reaction to situations such as people trying to tell him he's a demigod in coded language. It was essentially the perfect update to something i've discussed in the past here, about how the original "all demigods have adhd/dyslexia because it's secretly SUPERPOWERS" thing was presented as the basis for the series and why that teaching/parenting style fell out of favor. We see Percy in e1 acknowledge how dismissive of his struggles it is to constantly just be told he's "special" - and we even get explicit acknowledgement of how that description is used aggressively and for ostracization (from Nancy), which is extremely true to the experiences of kids who grew up with that teaching/parenting structure. But then we get to episode 2 and... all the acknowledgement of ADHD/dyslexia/etc is gone. We get at most a one-off acknowledgement from Luke that demigods are all neurodivergent and that's it. Pretty much nothing else for the entire rest of the season, save for flashback scenes that only emphasize Sally's experiences, not acknowledge Percy's. No further acknowledgement of Percy's dyslexia, or Annabeth's, or anything about their ADHD, or even Percy's completely removed PTSD (which we know for sure because of both writer commentary [see: that second post i linked about the LA Times article] and Percy's total lack of reaction to Mr. D). Nothing.

It was extremely disheartening to say the least, having such a strong start and it evaporating completely, and I fully agree with you.

[mueritos]

some autism thoughts!

so im feeling more and more comfortable with naming I'm autistic, both in public and online, and being open has come with some nice benefits. People who I felt strangely connected to during my program have re-entered my life (mostly cuz we have an overlapping schedule at some point during the week) and have told me about their journeys into getting assessed. A woman in my program who gave me a tangle fidget toy like 2 weeks into knowing me is thanking me for being so nonchalant about my autism. and i thanked her because she had with no hesitation given me that tangle when she noticed me picking at my skin, and now we are chatting about her writing down her symptoms and connecting on that.

similarly, being open about myself has allowed neurodivergent people around me to not fear being curious. they ask me questions, and I get the chance to ask questions back. a colleague of mine has a psychotic disorder that he's lived with his whole life, and I get to learn about his lived experience and what he's gone through because of sanism, and he gets to learn about my lived experience and how I struggle with social and sensory stuff. Similarly, I get to talk to my supervisor about his adhd, and he can make jokes about not needing a DSM-5 to diagnose me because he has worked extensively with autistic clients and knows that the diagnostic criteria does not speak at all to the lived experience of many autistics. It feels very validating to be seen by others and not be challenged on this part of me that feels very vulnerable, especially considering I'm still figuring it out and growing into it. And, at the same time, it feels so affirming to be able to work with autistic clients and be able to stim in session, allow them to take their time to speak, and approach them nonjudgementally. Some of my favorite sessions have been with people who can take up to 2-3 minutes of silence before responding to my questions! I just feel myself vibrate with excitement at the chance to let someone live their authentic self. I'll sit in as much silence needed if it means someone can have the time to process their thoughts.

at the same time, I carry a lot of anger. Anger that I can never go back to the way I lived just a few years ago. I spent over a year being severely to passively suicidal, barely holding onto life and the very foundation of my relationships to others, and I've come out an entirely new person. No longer do I feel the need to carry the burden of communication--I can only account for what I say and do. No longer do I feel the need to force myself out of the house when I don't want to, or to stay out later than wanted, or to pressure myself to say yes to other's because I should be doing things that other people my age are doing. I find so much joy and pleasure in sitting at home, in my pjs, watching video essays about Sonic the Hedgehog, or dinosaurs, or some youtuber drama. I am so so focused on making sure I never have to feel the way I did again, that I just cannot live the way I used to ever again.

i dunno! autism is weird and hard and fun and also a neutral thing about me. everyday I learn something new and try to strive for new coping techniques and joy :)

[cherrybombfangirl]

I see Autistic/ADHD Lloyd headcanons all the time, but none for his parents which is weird because both ADHD and Autism are genetic. So lets fix that, and during Autism Awareness month no less, yay, #RedInstead bitches!

Autistic Garmadon and ADHD Misako Headcanons (for Autism Month!)

Misako hate is not welcome, we don't do that here, you will be blocked. Autistic Misako headcanons are welcome, I love you if you have that headcanon :). I'm autistic and adhd, so a lot of these will be based on my experience, and I'll try to keep it mostly fluff headcanons, featuring a little bit of Lloyd's autism and adhd <3

Autistic Garmadon

He and Lloyd share a lot of the same autistic traits

Like how if you distrupt the routine or there's a change in established plans both of them will start getting anxious and irritated

You don't distrupt the routine! Stick to the schedule damn it-

Or how both of them CANNOT stand bright lights, never turn on the overhead light, lamps and low lights only. and only predictable/controlled loud noises like music is ok, other loud noises bad

Also they both auditory stim ALL the time. Same song on repeat for days until the new favorite comes along, and they have the same taste in music (rock and punk), so while working on stuff or training one on one they'll blast the same song on repeat

Also both of them are hyperempathetic and get emotional very easily. Hence why they're a lot more emotional and open around each other

Also the Pathological Demand Avoidance is VERY STRONG with both of them. tell them to do something and they'll immediately dread and despite that thing and that thing is the last thing they want to do. (i.e. *is about to go do the dishes* "Hey can you do the dishes?" ... "I was about to. Even wanted to. Now I hate them and that's the last thing I want to do. Thanks for that. Fuck you.")

Both of them also have a very hard time unmasking (for different but similar reasons of how their childhood was), and get exhausted and burnt out fast. Luckily being around each other helps them unmask a bit easier

Garmadon loves Mac-n-Cheese, he'd eat just that for the rest of his life if he could. But only Misako's recipe, all other Mac-n-Cheese tastes WRONG (Lloyd also loves Mac-n-Cheese, but only his mom's recipe)

Sometimes he straight up forgets to talk. Like, he doesn't need to, he doesn't like talking to people, and he just... forgets that he has the ability to talk. So sometimes he might go a while without talking, thinking nothing of it. Then he'll vocal stim or use his voice and shock himself a little because oh shit i forgot i have a voice-

He hid it for a while because he thought it was embarrassing, but he has a huge special interest in sharks, and he is the number one shark defender, he could talk about them for hours (his favorite species is the Lemon Shark and Cookiecutter Shark <3).

^After he starts unmasking a bit he starting being a bit more open about it as well, and that year for his birthday Misako gets him a shark onsie. He just about melts, immediately puts it on, and wears it almost every night. (She thinks its adorable)

For a really long time, he thought the things he was experiencing were a side effect of being part dragon/oni, but then Wu told him "I don't experience any of that, sorry." and then he thought it was a side effect of the venom, but then after the Final Battle it was gone AND HE WAS STILL EXPERIENCING ALL THESE TRAITS, so he couldn't figure out wtf was wrong with him

^Misako was like "Idk sounds normal to me *shrug*" (She has ADHD, of course it sounds normal to her XD)

Lloyd knew he was autistic and adhd for a while because of the other ninja, who were also varying neurodivergencies. When he told his parents about it, they both didn't think anything of it because they didn't know it was genetic yet.

Then Garmadon found out it was genetic and was like "No... me? No way... I'm just an anxious introvert, there's no way."

Then he takes like ten different online assessment tests, and is like "Yeah, i knew it, i knew i wasn't autistic, those questions were worded dumb anyway. No I don't have a problem with socks, you see I have a system-"

And then Lloyd (who connected the dots once he found out autism was genetic) was like, "Dad... Dad... that- that is autistic... having a system for socks to avoid having problems with socks, avoiding places with loud noises and bright lights, and prefering to be by yourself or in silence is very autistic..."

Garmadon: "WHAT"

They figured out how to unmask and fuction as their authentic selves together and it's awesome

ADHD Misako

Similarly, she and Lloyd share a lot of ADHD traits

Like fidgeting, A LOT, always needing extra stimulation and needing to fidget. Usually with nail biting or lip chewing, until they learn less self destructive stims

They also hyperfixate in the same way. Both of them will get lost in the hyperfixation for hours, forgetting to eat, drink or sleep. until they try to stand up or someone reminds them. (Lloyd hyperfixates on comics the same way she hyperfixates on archeology)

Both of them have the worst sense of time and object perception. ("Oh yeah that project will only take fifteen minutes" *takes four hours*) (*losing track of important items and forgetting to eat ro drink water all the time*)

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is very strong for both of them, constantly worrying about annoying other people and being a burden, so they're people pleasers a lot and the slightest whiff of rejection sends them into a self hate spiral that can last for days or weeks (It took a very long time for her to get out of the self hate spiral after her and Lloyd meeting for the first time and him blowing up at her, which she thought she deserved for her huge mistake that she deeply regretted. Eventually they talked and Lloyd came to her and said she shouldn't hate herself forever, he wanted her to be his mom, and she could make up for it now. She still gets into that spiral sometimes.)

Also both of them zone out a lot. Sometimes many thoughts. Sometimes zero thoughts. Staring into space (they love car rides for this reason)

Both of them can be very all or nothing in a lot of things. No social interaction or all the social interaction. Doesn't talk at all or can't shut up. Constantly overshooting it.

Also due to the lack of object perception, both of them are kind of terrible at driving. They can't tell how far away the signs are until they're right in front of it, and are always taking turns that are way too big. Over or underestimating distance a lot. (Garmadon is a pretty terrible driver too, he gets overwhelmed easily). (Also Kai and Nya can confirm that teaching Lloyd to drive was a nightmare, Zane had to do it)

Always hyperfixating on something archeology/history related, she's a huge nerd and cycles through ten different topics (she was a weird kid that liked the morbid stuff in history). Usually dinosaurs, she's secretly obsessed with dinosaurs and hyperfixates on them all over again every other week. A lot of the time Garmadon has to remind her to eat or sleep because she'll be lost in hyperfixation for several hours.

Also has a lot of anxiety and has a hard time sitting still, always has to be moving or fidgeting with something in her hands

Similar to Garmadon, she didn't think anything of it when Lloyd told her he had ADHD, and when she found out it was genetic she thought, "No, it couldn't be me, I just have anxiety..."

She was in denial about it for a while, until Lloyd talked to her with Kai and Jay (Also ADHDers).

Kai asked, "Your teachers sent a lot of notes home about you being 'a pleasure to have in class' weren't you?"

Misako: "How the fuck did you know?"

Kai: "That was me before I had to drop out. I was the perfect little teacher's pet. So was Nya."

Misako sat there for a minute having a crisis because everything made sense now but also like no way, really?

She and Garmadon love talking about prehistoric sharks like the Megladon because that's where their interests intersect

^he also gets her dinosaur encyclopedias every year for her birthday and she loves it (they have diagrams of skeletons and fossils and stuff)