#like i have homework and life shit I need to do
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DEAR AND FREELANCER I KID YOU NOT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE FREELANCER SHIP
LIKE HELLO??
I always like to imagine that dear loves helping freelancer when it comes down to water elemental stuff
“Yk i could help with your homework if you’d like?”
“Thanks dear that would mean a lot to me right now,”
Dear and freelancer would talk about bridging sometimes and maybe eventually do it very very slowly,
talking through every step,
and dear telling freelancer they can back out and comforting them throughout
Eventually freelancer gets so comfortable like this they start asking to bridge when they fall asleep to feel closer to them
I talked about lovely/darlin already but still!!
Lovely being the reckless driver they are and darlin fearing for their life sense they’ve been in a car accident before
(Another head cannon that I got from a animatic I saw is that darlin was in the car with Gabe on sep 3)
“Lovely I beg of you to actually stop at a stop sign this time!!” - darlin
*turns to look at darlin * “No ones around it’s fine darlin!” - lovely
“EYES ON THE ROAD OMG.”
Darlin never let lovely drive again with them in the car after that :,)
Lovely/treasure seem like they would def be childhood friends with mutual pinning that NEVER was talking about and broke apart due to one of them moving schools or smth
They meet back up at some random place that meant a lot to them as kids,
randomly realize who the other is,
catch up,
fall in love,
and then literally beg and plead with Vincent/Porter to do a poly couple just so they (lovely and treasure) could be together
Then continue to talk shit about their respective “first” partner,
“Vincent will randomly start doing shit in his sleep. I swear one time he was asleep and just tried to do the laundry?” - lovely
“Oh my! Well I guess something i could saw about porter is that he got horny when you punched him?” - treasure
“He got what.” - lovely
High school almosts between darlin/treasure sounds so agonizing??
There’s definitely so much tension between those two??
And I love tension don’t get me wrong.
But it’s like so much tension you could feel it from a mile away when they’re together, and their like flirty about it too?
“Did you do the math hw last night? I need some help with doing #7 if you don’t mind” - treasure (definitely a person who does all their hw and stuff on time and gets 100% almost every time)
“No~ but I could help do you? Come on, there’s a empty classroom down the hall” - darlin (not a school person, would rather be anywhere but school and never does any hw, it a miracle they graduated to be honest!)
*whisper yelling but still filled with giggles from being flustered* “DARLIN! I BEG OF YOU TO QUIET THOSE DIRTY THOUGHTS FOR 2 SECONDS!!”
“Mmn. How could I? You never wanna act on them and until we do I shall continue to ask if you want to, respectfully of course. My treasure this tension we have is bound to get of somewhere will it not?”
DARLIN BEING A HELPLESS FLIRT IN HS WITH CLOSE FRIENDS MY BELOVED OMG
(I wanna make that last one a fic now I’m gonna be honest with you…)
THIS IS SO LONG OMG IM SORRY :(
What are yalls favorite listener x listener ship??
Doesn’t need to make sense
Hit me with em.
For me personally it’s Angel and sweetheart
or freelancer and lovely
There’s no in between for me tbh.
My Personal head cannons about their relationships below!!
Lovely “died” which brought upon more stress for freelancer sending them into a panic over a person who was already in a (what seemed to be) happy relationship.
They didn’t wanna fuck that up.
And never got the chance to even try.
Then with Angel and Sweetheart
(my ver of Angel was in the army!!)
They were Highschool sweethearts (hehe) who broke up due to Angel wanting to go to the military
And Sweetheart didn’t want to get a call or a person at their door saying
“I’m sorry. But Your partner has died on the field,”
Angel only saw them again AFTER sweetheart had got with Milo
(Also two females at birth, lovely and freelancer, and female at birth, Angel, with basically a trans fem intersex person, sweetheart my beloveds)
I don’t wanna hear about how these wouldn’t work.
These are my rare pair ships and you will not take them from me. /LH /POS /HJ
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Bro why is fatigue so !?!?????!!!??!? >:( !?????!
Like I have shit I need to get done!! leave my body please!!
#to keep myself sane I've been needing to do wayyy too much#so I'm just especially flared up and super fatigued (even more than my normal which is still a lot)#like i have homework and life shit I need to do#like i need to find a job so we're not living on the streets but also what can i do as a disabled teen?????? like theres nothing good#also the stress of being homeless doesn't help the flare ups either ☠️☠️#its fine it'll probably work out in the end#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#disability#disabled#actually disabled
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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Is your springdad au and excuse to make most of the fnaf cast into straight up furries
maybe, maybe not
#maybe i also wanted to sprinkle a little dust of ✨brasilidade✨onto my art#i really like fatherly figures as well y'know#also love it when characters live a domestic life and have domestic life struggles#things like#'did you make your homework?'#'dad i threw up'#'SHIT I FORGOT THE KEYS'#'she hit me first!'#'i dont wanna go to school >:['#'dad i need help with my math homework'#'aight kids. bedtime. you have school tomorrow'#'DAAAAAAAADDD can you do my hair pleeeaasee'#'i had a bad dream'#'EEWWW I HATE ONIONS'#'i got the matches. LETS GOOOO'#'dad said its my turn with the gameboy'
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i WAS gonna complain about horror being a skeleton and therefore never able to do the akanbe face but then i remembered. i'm an artist!! i can just DRAW him doing it 😇😇😇 ok but he doesn't have eyelids iKNOW ill figure it out ok
#im going on a short vacation that means prime time to slack off and mtthink#and i have some drawing ideas froM LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO that i never drew because i had no motivation or even time#so now i can do it :3333 lets (me) see if i still even like the ideas#and i have Saturday and sunday and mondayOFFschool and then i leave on wednesday morning ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#and that gives me prime time to draw draw DRAW#and theres like 20 days left of October i really should get to work on that animation meme#i WILL trust i swear#if not i kill myself#jk! (fashion au?)#ive been using kaomojis now. jk killer would too#ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#me taking like a whole week on a shitty hrkl little writing thing when it was leagues easier to just describe my idea#i REALLY had a vision and then i was reminded that writing is boring and that a vision expressed through words cant keep my attention#anyways i finished another little dust doodle of a song that reminded me of him#now it is time to actually get my life together and shower and brush teeth#the only homework ive got is reading a few pages#i have been ON TOP OF MY HOMEWORK since school started bro😭😭😭😭 ive been SUCH a good student 😭😭😭😭#so much free time at home and yet none of it is spent on doing anything but laying down and lazing about#come on! come on! you need to get up! use your brain! PLEASE TRIGLYVERUVLE PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTSINMENT#forcing myself to do something i find fun when i have no motivation to get up is so annoying#iWANT to draw iWANT to think i WANT to write (eh) but i just nonono feel like it (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)#tricule rant#actually today i found another song that could fit horror but i just glanced at the lyrics#if i aint mtt pondering at the very least ill be connecting them to songs#new art project is gonna have HINTS of mtt in it. not really but if im aware of them then they exist#i love art class i love learning about art principles i just wish i could apply that shit to my work#well DIGITAL work. doing stuff traditionally always feels so much easier
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thinking about singing in a choir/group in comparison to singing solo/accompanied by music and just thinking abt how comparatively different that is. an orchestral backup to a solo song is nice- and takes a lot of dedication to perfect, certainly- but you will always be missing the synergy that comes with singing with other people. the synchronous intake of breath, the way vocal harmonies hum through the air in a way humans were biologically designed to pay keen attention to. the control and perfection of sound with your body instead of just your hands and limbs, and the perpetual awareness that you're operating in sync with a handful or tens or even a large group of people.
anyways. thinking abt how wigfrid's 'spellbinding' singing voice absolutely did NOT come out of the blue. thinking about how she probably started singing alongside some sort of group before moving to actressing and spending the rest of her career and the rest of her life before the constant singing and being completely alone.
#yes this post is abt the fav but its also abt ME thats how i know its true bc its happening to ME!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!#i NEED to get back into high school chorus for my fucking mental health. miss that shit so bad.#indescribable feeling the raw POWER in the room the KINSHIP... we were fucking soldiers going to war#the war being our parents in our crappy auditorium. ANYWAYS. its not the same singing alone is not and never will be the same.#i think abt this once every two days at least. the fact that wig's first role was an overnight success means she MUST have spent.#like. YEARS perfecting her voice. singing is something that can be. so personal.#singing with your family singing with your friends. singing for a group. a church. idk. idc.#to dedicate your life to perfecting a talent and finding so much stardom that you accidentally condemn yourself to doing it alone. forever.#yeesh. yikes.#yall gotta get the rest of the survivors some professional singing lessons. make that her present come winters feast.#this bitch needs a choir STAT (i am also the bitch)#does this make ANY sense im procrastinating on my homework so idk
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I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............
#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about#ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week#ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating#bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on#and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class#oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread#also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking#about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out#and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?🤢) me last march#and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day#bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him#and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity.#it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent#again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this#feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies.#while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts#uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose#also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now.#gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia.#sorry if u read all this 😵💫
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one of these days the knowledge that my life & my friends lives are imploding will not gut me to my core. unfortunately that day is not today
#the overdue asteroid strikes again#look man its been a week and a half back at school and ive never been under more Stress ever in my life#it is currently 12 am and i can feel the weight of my life on my shoulders and not only my life but it is#Literally All Of My Friends Lives there is a deep emotional toll thats being placed on me rn and i cant Deal with it#man i dont know what im doing either im here to ask questions and Be There and not do my homework to help people out#im fine with it. genuinely#but then i dont have time for my homework and i go to bed late and my shoes are falling apart after a single use and i dont know what#shit i have to bring to school tomorrow assuming ive done said shit at all and people keep coming into my dms asking for advice and i#love my friends deeply but in the nicest way possible i Cannot do this right now.#this is about the sheer number of irls who have been asking me about shit#fuck! im losing my mind!#cutting it off here guys i need to go to sleep desperately.#i apologize for this. but this is also kinda like all my mental state rn and i Cannot Pretend im holding it together
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ouagh at some point i should try to post some of the multiple thousands of pictures I've taken every time i go to an aquarium huh
#toy txt post#i went thru my phone and sorted almost everything in my camera roll at some point#need to do more sorting again and also sort into narrower categories to make it easier to tag shit and then#ill be able to like. navigate my insane amount of photos on here one day#also the multiple thousands is not. an exaggeration#i seem ti take At Least 1000 everytime. i go to an aquarium#less so at the one i volunteer at sometimes just cos. its smaller and i try not to be on my phone while volunteering#ouaaaagh#i guess i should try to look into more. schooling/edu fucking cation#cos volunteering there. doesnt suck#like its a little physically demanding just cos the water is Very Extremely Cold and its like 2hrs drive away from me#but like. like i Hate interacting w ppl i dont think i could do customer service or retail BUT i love#a captive audience to infodump about sea life to#i just need a college professor that is very extremely patient w me and treats me like the fragile little baby that i am/j#i guess i need to once again seek out Fucking Therapy to wrangle with my Homework Issues#all those posts explaining how to study that were too triggering to look at ages ago. guess i need to find them lol#god. it really does feel like such a silly stupid issue i have here. like if someone else told me they had issue w this id be like#no yeah of course that sounds horrible im so sorry etc#but alas i am not so forgiving w myself like#oh yeah im apparently traumatized ig by uhhhh Being Assigned Homework. like. normal amount. it was fine and all#like i passed shit. it was extremely difficult and i barely made it in some classes but i did Get Thru It and i had like accommodations to#turn in shit late and everything but uhhhhhhh#yea#theres slightly more to it than that ig but! like. basically. that is basically.#im a huge baby who couldnt do their fucking homework and now if i see Study Tips ill start crying#which is super inconvenient cos like hey bitch you know what might help with the homework?#taking my brain out of my skull and shaking it#anyway. im way offtopic here#the point is that i have so fucking many pictures of fish#and also pictures of birds from the beach i have soooo fucking many. i should post more Photos
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mobile tumblr's new format what the fuck!
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#as said by lune now: 'tumblr think it's funny' LMFAO <//3#yk i finally resubbed in ffxiv hehe ^___^ i say finally but i just haven't subbed for like... a week...#and the last time i played was just like 20 days ago..... not even a month..........#uhmmm. focusing on homework yes <3 stressed for tuesday but i'll do my best :((#and uhmmm. i did a few lil exercises/stretches in the morning bcs i shld really do that more often ^___^#and i'll dedicate enough time to gaming/music today! and leave some leeway bcs no doubt i'll get distracted sometime today#and hopefully as i improve my schedule more i can also put in time for reading hehe ^^ and just. dedicating my energy & time well <3#+ i can still do with more studying >___< but also social life shall not be neglected!#anyways sorry if you don't see me often on social media lol i am trying to get myself more together and i am getting there i think hehe#sooo. i'll play xiv for a bit and then do my homework! i suck w just giving myself time limits so i'll make an alarm#i suck w following alarms unless it's required tho. i'll get up immediately for class but if it's just from normal sleep for a normal day#i will extend it until i feel restless and want to get up and actually do shit LMFAO <3#okay anyways have a good day everyone !! please don't forget to take care of yourself alright?#btw the format isn't really that bad but i'll need to get used to it and it's a lil weird to me
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@void-tiger THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I admit it's not really well thought out especially the other reality part
With Veronica and Kuron, it's specifically related to my Post s8 au (here, here is where I talked specifically about their relationship and the tag is here). Right after Lance resurrected Kuron (and fell into coma) Veronica found him while she was looking Lance who wasn't exactly.....doing well for some time, and had kinda went awol on everyone. Veronica had known enough about the entire clone arc thing from Lance and Shiro to not be weirded out but doesn't think that Kuron is evil or even dangerous (the first time they met, Kuron was waking up delirious, slipped and knocked himself out) so after a chaotic hospital trip, some explanations and after some more time and various discoveries, Veronica offers Kuron to room with her.
Veronica and Kuron's relationship at first was rather messy. Vero does sympathize with Kuron's situation but with family issues and her own tendency to be more private/secretive she doesn't have the spoons to deal with him. And in return Kuron does understand and appreciates what Veronica is doing for him but he's also someone who was pretty much abandoned by almost everyone he cared for and was doomed to die in his own mind while someone else used his body, so isn't having a good time either. This would lead to a screaming match, a fight and eventual reconciliation.
i think at first Veronica and Kuron are trying to figure out what even happened to Lance and how to help him but eventually their search expands into a major plot mysteries and loose threads (for eg Lotor's entire deal, some old experimentation by galra with shiro clones (and possibly more Shiro clones who survived) and i am visiting my old hc about gradual exposure to quintessence turning humans into eldritch horrors and nature of quintessence being perceptional and cultural) (Kuron is immune from turning into one due to Haggar's research on humans and clones and Lance using said research as pretty much a blueprint. Veronica however isn't)
Overall i feel their relationship swings between a genuinely healthy friendship who also tend to get codependent and encourage each other's worst habits.
As for the Narti Allura and Lance brotp- Again it's not really well thought out, even less so then Vero and Kuron. In this au Allura is travelling through different realities to get to her own one (I have been debating about giving her amnesia and at first it sounded like a good idea, but right now I am not sure :/. Her powers are still a mess though and she will get crippling fear of death, I am not budging on that). One of these realities she visits is this one where due to a series of butterfly effects voltron team (the humans one) never really formed but did
This reality is lot similar but also quite different, some of these differences being- 1)War being delayed and Allura being sealed in cryopod much later as well as Lotor being older when his parents got corrupted. 2) Delay in war causing Honerva's memory to come back causing a rift in her and Zarkon relationship until they both are against each other (sometimes). 3) Honerva occasionally working with Lotor but it's a strained relationship and Lotor hates both his parents as well as anything to do with quintessence bs 4)Lance found the blue lion much sooner as a kid and then getting taken in by Lotor before he could reach Allura (and also being in vicinity of Honerva which yknow....not good) . 5) Allura was released some other wat sooner and found surviving Alteans and through them and other planets formed the coalition she's currently head of. 6) Narti was sent out to assassinate/take over Allura but didn't (they fought and then talk it out), after which she joined Lotor. She does get controlled by Honerva but wasn't killed. 7) Allura got the white lion before ending up in cryopod
The end ultimately leads to 'shadow zombie' apocalypse (which is kinda because of anti-quintessence thingy? Like it feeds on quintessence and is shadowy) a few years later which kills off Zarkon, Honerva, Lotor and a lot of the empire as well as much of the universe and the blue paladin 'died' (aka Lance just straight up fakes his own death and had nearly gotten away with no one knowing it too if weren't for meddling Narti), and with so many big players dead, Allura's coalition or rather The Council took charge in rehabilitation and fixing what's left (I do think it was lot more complicated than random zombie apocalypse, I feel like it was culmination of everything?? Sorry I am still trying to figure it out)
Lance and Allura meet through Narti, and it was all years ago and now they are Trying. The work is tiring, overwhelming, the present is better but also still bleak, there's a seemingly new incident everyday, all the people who survived and the societies that still exist only Just started to reach a stability and peace and it's fragile as shit and all three of them are Trying™ in spite of the trauma and pain and despair and everything. The apocalypse isn't a problem anymore but it did leave behind a lot of mess. These three pretty much trauma bonded for life
These three are very messy adults and also they are raising Lance's clone they found. She's their little baby, all three of them love her so much, but also they are messy people living in messy world and are kinda fail at parenting. They are not horrible but also- Allura tends to baby her too much, Lance has tendency to project his own trauma and is over-protective, Narti has screwed sense of what is and isn't dangerous for a human child and just let her do whatever and also tends to bother her like a funny owner of a grumpy cat. Also all three of them are embarrassing soccer parents, so there's that.
I do think there's lot more to it, but i feel it's already long enough and i want to flesh out these three's personalities and dynamics a lot more. A lot of this most likely will be changed cause I am very indecisive at the end of the day. Anyway thank you so much for asking!!! Sorry this is late (I was kinda on a trip for a week and also rewrote the other reality stuff three times but ehh)
I think we as a society should bring back brotps. I think we should be weirder about characters being friends the same way people are weird about ships. Make those two characters who interacted once or twice besties. Make it difficult for them to get rid of each other even if they want to. Go nuts
#Lance's clone hasnt been named yet but I feel like she'll have an old white lady name like Lenore or Agatha or Mildred#cause she feels like she has a personality of someone who would choose an old white lady name#reminds the teacher they have homework type of nepo baby#Poor girl wants to be taken seriously and prove herself and wants to be this super serious super competent worker#But it's hard to do that when the head council woman keeps calling you 'little sweet pea' while pinching your cheeks#Anyway this reality is specifically important for one reason-#I want canon!Allura to see a version of herself who has similar trauma as her and is a mess but is also living and trying to move on#(To me Allura was frankly suicidal in canon and i am treating the end as part sacrifice and part suicide attempt from survivors guilt)#So I want Allura to just meet a version who understands and validates her.#Who shares similar past and pain but is also older and capable of living and deserving of living#Who is living proof that 'yeah life sucks balls. But we can keep going forward' to give her more hope#Who isn't killed by her trauma but also isnt fucking evil (fuck you Evil Alteans episode)#(this may also cause an opposite effect and being all 'hey so a version of you has managed to get her shit together#why are you still so lame sad and mopey??' Or something like that. Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯??)#And I just imagine this reality Allura being rather sweet with ps8!Allura. Kinda like how Allura was when she found out Pidge is girl#Anyway thank you for encouraging my rambles. I need to change a lot of it but basic gist is this#Also with Veronica and Kuron their relationship is pretty much-#'wow you are so fucked up and strange. Thank god I am normal' on both ends#post s8 posting#Post s8 au
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I'm really, really sorry that happened to your friend, anon. I hope they were able to recover and get justice for what happened to them, and that you've been able to work through it too.
Thank you :) I'm not close enough with her to necessarily be privy to all her deepest feelings, but as far as I can tell, she really is fine and has been for a long time. She's a teacher and doing really well.
And yeah, I don't feel that way--like I'm looking through that filter--anymore, and a big part of that (not to overshare, but hey, maybe someone will read this and it will help them?) was getting diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Since I was a kid I'd felt like violence and death were always lurking, to a degree that was illogical, and then the attack on my friend made that worse because it seemed like oh, I was right to feel that way. But getting worse eventually led to a diagnosis, which has led to getting a lot better! :)
(x)
I'm really glad both you and your friend are doing better and that the diagnosis helped, anon! It's wonderful when diagnoses give us not just a vocabulary and tools for what we experience, but an understanding of ourselves and I guess, context?
Not the same exactly, but my littlest nephew has a severe speech disability which has gone through about five almost-diagnoses and multiple tests which is crazy given he's only 6-years-old. He finally got an actual diagnosis a few months ago (childhood apraxia of speech, or CAS) and while there's complicated feelings involved in knowing talking isn't going to be something that'll ever be easy for him, even just getting to understand it better as a motor disability as opposed to a cognitive one has been extremely useful in helping us to support him in using his voice.
He doesn't really understand what his diagnosis means yet (although he knows people outside of the family struggle to understand him) but it's helped get him into more specific speech therapy and, if my sister wins relocation in family court next month, there's some social groups here in Melbourne where he can hopefully be around kids who are experiencing the same disability (it's a rare one, and there ae just more kids with it in the city) and understand what he's going through as he grows up. So yeah! It's pretty cool when a diagnosis offers not just pathways forwards, but a deeper understanding of self and points of connection too.
#they thought he had cerebral palsy for about 18 months when he was a toddler which was a lot#because the muscular development in his legs was also abnormal#and they needed him to do all these medical tests but then delayed everything because this was at the start of covid and#the doctors were like if he DOES have cerebral palsy he can't be anywhere near a hospital full of sick people during a pandemic#so there's been so many holding patterns#but they had him start seeing a physio for his legs and that basically improved his development#and then they finally did all the cp tests and it wasn't that so it was like two years of weight y'know?#he was born really prematurely and was in nicu for 12 weeks#and we've just been writing all this into my sister's affidavit so it's very front of mind again#but the first two years of his life were just failed development test after failed development test which is just such a shit way#of articulating like#how an infant is growing?#one of my best friend's is actually a nicu nurse and she's always saying we need to change the language around children born prematurely#because they're never going to have normal development milestones in the first two years#but anyway this is way more information than you require hahaha#like i said just front of mind again#anyway his speech therapist now has him practicing pokemon names constantly#and as i often help out with his homework over facetime i now know more pokemon than any adult should haha
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someone save me helllpppppp
#kiwi shares their thoughts#not in real danger just severely overworked and stressed atm#much work to do almost no time to do ANY of it#i’m stuck playing catch up somehow??? when its only been like 2 and a half weeks since school’s started???#and i haven’t really missed any school???#idk man i’m falling behind in ap calc (was kinda alr behind)#ap bio work keeps piling up#because i was absent for half of my asl class today i had to make up like 3 assignments that we did in there#there’s ap lang assignments due friday that i will have literally no time to work on bc sports (thank god i got an extension)#but now i have to spend ANOTHER weekend doing school work#i literally have not had a weekend to have me time since school started#we’re hosting saturday too so i doubt i’ll get much done then that day#my september schedule is so full it’s about to explode#i have to sign up for like 20000 things (hyperbole) and my extracurriculars are only adding to the workload#(being vp for a club and also trying to help start up a school newspaper w only four people is ROUGH)#i have college recruiter meetings and i need to schedule an orientation at a shelter i want to volunteer at#i have to worry about preparing for my driving test#and the straw that broke the camel’s back is that when i get home from sports i immediately do chores then homework and then eat + shower#and suddenly my friend group is having issues and i don’t have the bandwidth to deal with ANY of that shit rn#so like#I HAVENT HAD TIME TO GO TO TAEKWONDO ALL WEEK#IM MISSING OUR BELT CEREMONY BC I HAVE A MATCH TMMR#I WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE SALSA IN COOKING TODAY BUT I HAD TO GO PLAY SPORTS INSTEAD 😭#oh yes and my brother has covid i just found out like an hour ago#im negative w no symptoms thank goodness#oh AND the picture lady for picture day didn’t tell me my fucking bra strap fell off one shoulder when i took my picture#so now a perfectly good picture looks wack af bc my right shoulder is bare and my left one has a strap and it is NOT cute 😭#that’s my yearbook photo dude gives guy a heads up abt stuff like that 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#n e ways life is kicking my ass but all i want is for it to tuck me in give me a kiss on the forehead and tell me “i love you”
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i haaaate that trend so much. i've seen series where it was blatantly just a long movie with credits/title cards jammed in every hour or so. that's bad writing when it's a 10+ episode season but at least there's the logic of 'most people won't watch this in a single go, let's put in some breakpoints', but it's absolute nonsense when it's four or five episodes. You made a movie. It's a single movie. It's not 'four episodes of' anything. Cut the repeated credits out and stitch it all together and it's 3.5 hours with pacing very similar to other movies and very dissimilar from tv shows. It's on the long end but it is one movie. Just admit it is one movie and put it in the 'movie' category so people specifically looking for movies see it and people specifically looking for episodic shows do not, and take out the repetitive disruptive breaks so viewers can properly enjoy it. I'm sure view metrics are counted such that a movie artifically chopped into four "episodes" counts as four times as many views or something, or at least the extra intro/outro bits add to "minutes watched", but if your metrics encourage "miscategorizing media so severely customers can't actually use your filters/categories/etc to find what they want and disrupting the viewing experience for no reason beyond 'number go up'" then your metrics are bad and in the long run they'll backfire.
at this point if i'm looking for an episodic show to watch i will completely skip any '[streaming service] original' and half the time dig around for something made before streaming got popular. there's some good modern streaming 'shows' but if i save them for when i'd otherwise be watching a movie i'm less likely to be disappointed.
and the extra wild thing is stuff that's seemingly not even meant to be binged or frankly possible to binge is starting to get like this?? MCU probably being the worst example but we're starting to get movies or TV shows which go way beyond 'referencing existing lore and we don't tell you every detail here but you don't need every detail anyway, it's fine' and fully into 'oh, there is necessary backstory, and it's all in some other media. and this one is going to have some setup for something else, too. so if you want to understand this you need to go watch another movie and if you want to see the conclusion to these scenes you need to wait for yet another movie'. nOT EVERYTHING IS LORD OF THE RINGS AND ALSO EVEN LOTR SETTLED ON BEING A TRILOGY. it's such a turn-off even of movies which sound good because lol sure the main storyline sounds good but. is all of the main storyline even in that one fucking movie or am i ultimately going to have to watch three other movies, two tv shows, and a crossover episode with a series which got dropped from all streaming media and is now only available via torrents.
"binge-worthy show" man fuck that
i want my shows one episode followed by a whole ass week of going a little insane over it with the people on my phone, writing fics theorizing and going over every single scene through amazing gifs and meta, before the next ep drops and the cicle begins anew
#i get using cliffhangers to get people to Tune In Next Week but there is a flip side to that!#the more content viewers NEED to watch to appreciate something the bigger an investment it becomes!#so like yes the diehard fans will watch Immediately to see what happens to their blorbos. but. you can't force diehard fandom.#people who aren't already there won't think 'hm new MCU film looks good enough to do twelve hours of homework for'#and you can STILL HAVE DIEHARD FANS without making shit COMPLETELY incomprehensible to newbies#star trek did it for decades#like even if you just watch TNG without seeing TOS first you are missing some Klingon context but you'll be fine#star wars too i think? idk but from what i hear from fans the extended universe adds A Lot BUT you can also just see the movies#there is a middle ground between 'a thousand unrelated TikToks and YouTube Shorts'#and 'a vast sweeping cinematic universe which will take over a large chunk of your life if you want to watch more than ten minutes of it'#and i wish modern studios would spend a lil more time in that middle ground
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Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.
With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.
But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."
I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.
AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:
Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor
Office Hours
Grading Policy
Assignment schedule.
Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:
December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam
If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.
If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.
If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.
I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.
This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.
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hjgjhggjgjgh forgot i can't even go to the psych ward if there was magically room for my non urgent case. my mom's birthday is this weekend, and my aunt and grandma stay at our house for the following week. i need to be there for the birthday, and then i have to seem normal and present at normal hours. AND THEN IT'S THE HOLIDAYS.
#i don't want to be alive holy shit#i wanna say they're probs not gonna hospitalize me no matter how much i'd need it#so i can call and ask for an appointment or smth anything#but what if they actually CAN hospitalize me#i can't say no. but i can't say yes.#i guess i'll try something during the holidays#but in the meantime i'm missing everything im missing classes im missing homework im missing my exams#im supposed to be preparing my graduation exam and instead i rot at home because ''we're not a healthcare facility''#i don't think i'm ever gonna change lmao once this phase is gone i fucking hope it'll go away it's just gonna turn into another problem#and i'll cycle through unlivable shit forever#like i've always done#i don't even know what to do. drop out maybe but i don't have the balls to. wait until they kick me out for good i think.#and then. idk. am i really cut out for the workforce lmao. school is safe and cozy and there's reasons im still there#bc everything else is scary and unpredictable and you have to earn your place there#i know im the problem. i know anything i do always leads to more problems.#yadda yadda yadda everybody deserves a place. but when i get kicked out of somewhere because i'm unbearable to deal with#i don't think im supposed to force my way in again#i don't know what to do. i know the way to get out of there is to force myself to do things.#but what does ''out of there'' even looks like?#no really. i don't think i've ever experienced an ''out of there''#unless i try to go back to being a toddler which doesn't sound like the play here#everything i do always lead to more pain and that's fully because im a killjoy who can't handle two weeks of normal human life#what's the point#broadcasting my misery#vent
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