#like i dont even know how to put it into words bc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

microwaving-tesilid-argente · 8 months ago

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it's really funny rereading the early chapters of s-class heroine because ailette calls tesilid all sorts of names and it's such a far cry from her round 17 attitude

#tesilette #losing my mind at the way ailette is so so so fond and soft for tesilid now #she used to keep calling him high-maintenance and a pushover and other mildly but not really derogatory terms #and w a tone that suggests she thinks its a hassle #and now she's like #((ROUND 17 SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY))#when other transmigrators call tesilid annoying and cant believe shes trying to romance him #she just stays quiet and despairs on her own #and the. the. mermaid dungeon line #'i wish i could create a cabinet in my memories to store away his expression so i could look at it whenever i feel depressed or sad'#like GIRRRRL GIRLLLLLL WAAAAAHHHHHHH #falls onto the floor #anyway mimin examining ailette's character development era let's go?#like the way she KEEPS getting distracted and captivated by his looks. its so funny!!!!#and i dont rmb which chapter it is (prob mirror dungeon) but theres one whr she reflected that back at the very start #she wanted to be at the late stage loops so she could have an easier life #and now she's glad she's at round 17 bc it means she can spare tesilid all that pain #she will hard carry him if that's what it takes. she's been training ten years for this purpose #if thats not love idk what is....#like gngbfnghgnghgnghgnfhng yes she needs to be that strong anw if she wants to SURVIVE #but her narration is SO tesilid focused its crazy #(me trying to find info on hestio and ephael for my trio fics and finding next to NOTHING. thanks girl 😖👍)#like i dont even know how to put it into words bc #her love for tesilid permeates like every single goddamn word and i cant possibly analyse all that #idk... webnovels being sparse on the prose and description but #nonetheless having SO much packed into them... crazy. i love them webnovels #man. me being forced to write in tags bc its SO rambly like idk what goes on and how to explain it but AILETTEEEEE #like how is it that i get so much from rereading this one single story just by focusing on different characters' povs #this is a webnovel w like zero descriptions going on!!!

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perilegs · 5 months ago

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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.

#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy #not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies #she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen #when it comes to small things #like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals #and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i #feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of #i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked #if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically #but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down #and stuff #like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words #but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot #not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars #or something #idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself #but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards #idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better #leevi talks #im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a #certain position or whatever

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moomeecore · 3 months ago

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im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on

#this is a cartoony exaduration of a very real sentiment #whoch is that im often told that i come off like i 'need to be right about everything'#but i have achived a place in my life where i recognize when i dont have all the info or perspective nessesary need to Listen #and that i dont have to have a strong opinon abt everything #and that admitting that i lack knowledge or opinion rather than masking that with false confidence is better in the long run #bc it dosent put you on defense - makes you more receptive to new information + perspectives + corrections #its just that people will try to tell me their opinions about lawn mowers and im not going to pretend like i dont know more than them #when i do. which happens to be all the time #never met a person whos done as much reaserch on lawns + lawn care industry and related issues such as sore machines #(small off road engines)#i know theyre out there but the chances of me finding them is small and i have yet to do so #and then people try and give me their opinions abt this subject and if THEY dont shut up and listen i go rabid #like i know when its my turn to shut up and listen but sometimes im right and OTHER people need to be shutting up and listening #but also even outside of that i tend to come off as harsh/agressive/judgmental even when relaying info that im not obsessive abt like lawns #its the autism. i just word things blunt and talk with flat affect and dont know how to soften the blow well when correcting people #or even just adding my own perspective + ideas to convo without intent of 'correcting' anyone #such is life i suppose #just so long as nobody tries to tell me lawns are ethical ill be fine #<- remembers when i made a post that accidently got attention abt this subject and melted down #bc the strangers on the internet dont understand that this is my WHOLE THINF #if you knew me in real life youd understand. its my passion #text #im putting this is the lawn tag actually #lawn posting

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dennisboobs · 1 month ago

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every day i have to hold my tongue when m-cd-nnis shippers start sounding like frat guys with the way they talk about dennis' Secret Feelings toward mac. hey man. i don't actually think you get it. i don't think you understand what's going on between them.

#HEY MAN. I DONT THINK DENNIS ~SECRETLY WANTS IT~ AND TJAT ITS GOOD ACTUALLY WHEN HE ASSAULTS HIM. CAN YOU BE NORMAL.#ada speaks #guyssss dennis is just secretly gayyyy its fiiiine mac is making him come to terms with itttt #he actually really wants all this despite his verbal protests you guysssss #fuck taking him at his word obviously dennis doesn't know what he wants !!!#like my brother in christ. when dennis says. It's Never Gonna Happen. Not Willingly.#he means it. the willingly part IS the important part #when dennis HAS a choice and when mac is not actively REMOVING that choice #THEN he is like. fine with it #but you people don't seem to understand what it is that mac is doing that dennis is opposed to #is it rlly that hard to understand that mac putting dennis into these situations like in ddl and gets romantic is intentional on mac's part #dennis' issue is. Always. he doesn't like being TRAPPED. key word.#this is why he resists time and time again not just with mac but with everything else he fights against #he doesnt like being out of control. he doesn't like being controlled. its not even that he wants to be the one in control #it's for protection #so when mac traps him. intentionally. in a way that is premeditated. when he knows he cant trust mac #why in gods name would he WILLINGLY consent to literally anything #like you look at the implication and the obvious parallels there #where he is recreating how he was made to feel #and its specifically about being trapped. PHYSICALLY in this sense #and you look at the fucking scripts and you see how many goddamn times the word TRAPPED is used #[GESTURES BROADLY]#like for the last time. dennis is not resistant to mac bc he has these latent desires he is in denial about.#he's resistant to mac because he doesn't trust him and doesn't want to be assaulted.#its about power. but consistently we see that dennis Doesnt Want Real Power he just wants enough to protect himself #like for fucks sake. yes. if dennis consents then obviously he's going to be fine with it #the problem is that mac doesn't care enough to get consent #and very specifically circumvents it instead. den isn't like. overreacting. he's right djskdjfkkf

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puppppppppy · 9 months ago

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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

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spinecurlingmice · 1 month ago

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can you guys start yearnposting like crazy so i can reblog it or do i have to be the one that goes into the war

#yearning like hashtag bad i havent said anything here i think btu im yearning and have No Where to put it #ive been flooding my mp but i need to be able to Yell it that's me quietly whispering it #it only lessens a little when i yell it #like you know how u gotta crush some snail eggs so the world doesnt overflow with snails like 100000s of snails bc so many eggs at once #but not All eggs so they dont die because you need snails #thats what yelling does for me #atleast i can feign subtley if yall do it then im just reblogging ehe #i dont know how subtle i can be when its my own word against me.......#like i did One post and im like oh my god that was so obvious.#maybe to me it's different. do yall know ....#micetalk #but i can be a yearner. yall dont even know how annoying i can be yet

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gopher-jade · 2 years ago

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just watched the episode where naruto meets minato, and. idk if it's because i completely skipped the battle beforehand & therefore tense battle atmosphere or if i'm just older and more resentful now, but.

if i were an orphan who had no adult guardian most of my life and had to fight for respect, and then train my butt off to survive because my dad sealed a fucking wanted monster inside of me, and then said dead dad said "😀 i did it because i believe in you. you're my son after all. idk how you're going to solve the systemic problems of our world but i blindly believe in you because that's what parents ought to do". i think i would have puked and also aimed at his shoes.

#he's not even angry at naruto's behalf #naruto #rant #like. maybe it's bc what naruto needed at the moment WAS j some calming and encouraging words even if it were baseless #but the way minato's face was so calm the whole time rly got to me tho like. this is your son?#who didnt even know he was your son?#whom you watched go thru some much hardship his whole life?#also the way naruto said 'everyone puts so much expectations in me but i dont know how to live up to them!'#and minato just said 'haha i too believe in you' 😭😭😭😭#idk i guess its what naruto needed to hear. not me tho #rewatching naruto and going oh yeah maybe i really have aged out of this show #i think i need to rewatch kushina's scene too bc she reacts a lot more emotionally iirc #i get that he's a young first-time parent who doesn't have any role models bc he's an orphan but bro.......#that's some poker face i guess...?

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sundial-bee-scribbles · 4 months ago

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"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid

#delete later #shitpost #vocaloid #?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here #i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it #AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO #dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH #this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts #knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things #like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes #my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes #so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work #into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea #no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes

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schizowitchic · 4 months ago

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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions

#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that #i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person #like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back #and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard #so i cant even fuck with gender that way #tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention #genital mention #nsft #shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful #also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine #if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words #unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao #for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces #also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here #i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially #particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards #and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products #ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs #because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair #i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that #also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy #if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it

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straycalamities · 2 years ago

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i wanna be a horror artist i wanna be a weirdcore artist i wanna be a character artist i wanna do instimate scenes between characters i wanna emulate lisa frank or rainbow brite or the last unicorn i wanna emulate 90s anime i wanna evoke '00s numetal i wanna evoke '10s sadboy music i wanna evoke catchy vocaloid music w disturbing lyrics i wanna be like j-horror i wanna make yaoi i wanna do surrealism i wanna do abstract i wanna do cartoony i wanna do anime/manga i wanna do illustrations i wanna do comics i wanna do animation i wanna stick to askblogs i wanna express every part of me y_y