#like i actually feel sick i hate my fucking life

[laswells-ashtray]

this is the rant of someone tired and pissed off so it shall probably be gone by some time tomorrow morning.

but anyway, sick of people hating fat people. sick of being surrounded by size fours who constantly ask the biggest people they know if they look fat and then tell those plus size people about the absolute disgust they feel about ever being that person's size.

im also fucking sick of the way people write fat characters or tiptoe around writing them. if you only write "chubby characters" who's entire being revolved around being a healthy weight, but oh dear God, she has thick thighs... how will she survive... or a fat character, actually fuck that, any character with a little meat on their bones and all you can write about is how much they hate that about themselves. they have to be insecure and their weight has to be a point of contention then fuck you. you're a shitty writer, there i said it.

just because a character is anything but a skinny person or someone with a muscular build it doesn't give you the write to reduce them down to someone who hates themselves for it.

write fat characters who're happy. give me a plus-size woman who wears shorts under her dresses so that her thighs don't chafe to the point of bruising. a fat character with stretchmarks and cellulite who doesn't give a shit about it. give me a fat guy who overheats easily and sweats like fuck but who actually cared about such a human quality because bodies aren't something to be embarrassed about.

coming from a fat bitch who's spent a life time listening to people's utter hatred at the thought of even looking like me, yeah I don't fucking like it either but if you can't help but reduce a fictional fucking character down to their weight and how that's a sore spot for them then you're an asshole.

daily reminder that if you like any of my Laswells content then Sarah Laswell is a big woman who's riddled with stretchmarks and cellulite that she doesn't give a fuck about. she sweats like, to quote my grandmother, a hooker in church when she overheats. her thighs have chafed to the point of bleeding, and she whined to Kate about it for days. she isn't skinny and she is very happy in her own fucking skin. and her wife loves her because I feel that important to mention.

[oros-ash3s]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⋆ Febuwhump 2025 ⋆˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊

Day 4 || “On The Run”

TW: Suicide, self-deprecating thoughts 

Felix leaned against the cool tiles of the wall, his heart beating fast in his chest. The room was spinning, the small single-person bathroom more cramped and suffocating than ever, the walls threatening to close in on him, to smush his very being. Broken sobs escaped out of his chest, leaving him shuddering and shaking, his form curled up protectively as he wheezed and coughed for air. 

God, he was so pathetic. 

It really hit him, for the first time, how utterly useless he was. What this all meant. He had no family, no friends; people couldn’t even tolerate his fucking presence anymore. Reagan and Paisley were gone, pushed away by too many of his fuck-ups. They weren’t a family anymore. No, not after he’d broken them. All his friends were gone: dead or traitors, disillusioned by some evil, horrific dream that he’d never be able to follow. The only person that might agree to even sit beside him was Akali, and well…. 

Akali didn’t care. He was sure of it. Sure of all of it. Akali was growing sick of him too, he had to be. If Paisley couldn’t stand him, if even his own sister couldn’t stand him, then who was to say that Akali ever would? 

No, nobody wanted him. 

He had nobody left for him in this life. Nothing. He was doomed to spend the rest of his sad, pitiful life on the run, taking up refuge in a cabin hidden deep inside the woods, his only companions being the remnants of a club that never brought any good, and never would. People who hated him more than anything else in this world. 

There was no reason to live anymore. He shouldn’t even exist. 

Felix was trembling as he lifted his hands, staring down at them with a sense of understanding. He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t run from place to place, never belonging, never home. He couldn’t keep losing the people he cared about the most, the world’s corruption slowly stealing all he held dear. He couldn’t keep failing, keep causing more strife and pain for all that dared get close to him. He’d lost so much, lost all he’d ever had. He couldn’t….

He couldn’t stand himself. 

It would be better this way. He’d be doing them a favour. It was what they all wanted. Without him, things would be better. Without him, they’d all be at peace. 

No one wanted him here. No one cared about him. He was nothing more than an inconvenience: an extra mouth to feed, an extra bed to need. Nothing more than a burden. 

He took a shaky breath, another sob choking out of him. It would be better this way. 

The knife was in his hand before he could think about what he was doing – think to stop himself. His mind was racing, hot tears streaming down his cheeks, slipping onto his shaking fingers. They were wrapped tight around the handle, holding the weapon so tight his knuckles had gone white.

He raised the blade up high. Everything seemed to be suspended in time, the quiet chatter from down the hall now replaced with silence. 

It would be better.

With one sharp arc, he brought it down against his wrist.

masterlist || next

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I feel like today’s oneshot didn’t convey what I had envisioned for the actual prompt very well, but it kind of fits?? In the context of the story at least??? oh well

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

This story can be found on my alt account @dioles-writes. If you’re interested about the context of this scene, I’d recommend checking out this fic ੈ✩‧₊˚

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taglist || @febuwhump @ohagiwrites @vesanal @aalinaaaaaa @fangedcinnamonroll @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @seastarblue @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @iamheretohurt @corinneglass @melodxi @thebookishkiwi @lancedoncrimsonwings @sugaredparchment @cepheusgalaxy @fizzydreamz @robinshandhurts @ieppiq @nosebleedgirlpunch @sunflowerrosy @charlachan

[cadaverre]

IM SO SICK OF MYSELF, RATHER BE RATHER BE ANYONE ANYONE ANYONE ELSE, JEALOUSY JEALOUSY STARTED FOLLOWING ME

[skrunksthatwunk]

this show is melting my fucking organs

[lemongogo]

oo u want 2 draw soo bad..

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Anyway asshole sneezed yesterday while I was driving and I nearly wrecked my car lmao

[illogicalghost]

.

[manybrokenquills]

yall know that tiktok audio where it's an anime overlayed over some slow music, but the VA in the anime is the same as Saiki K? It goes like, 'when did I start thinking stupid sappy things like that, and why?' or something idk anyway

Thats me rn someone help

[little-red-fool]

I really hope they find a cure soon because I can’t be tied to a pharmacy my entire fucking life I want my freedom.

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.

[undistortedworld]

i think if i go to work today i may actually explode or turn into a puddle of mush or some other sort of physical manifestation of a mental breakdown

[squintsintwink]

Cyberpunk 2077 is my favorite anti-capitalist game that I spent 70 dollars to play

[girlivealwaysbean]

sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg

[spacemancharisma]

.

[mosspapi]

Gonna b honest. I kinda preferred being actively and pressingly suicidal to whatever the fuck I've got going on now. At least then I knew what I could do to keep myself reasonably safe. Whether I'd do it is another question entirely but at least it was cut-and-dry and made sense. Idek what my brain is doing atp, much less what it needs from me