#like how is baby clifford ONE?!

[vc55bughead]

congratulations lua clifford on signing up to become 5sos' pianist in 20 years! now your uncle cal can finally stop rushing between verses in songs (tho it's very entertaining to watch) because for some reason they didn't think to pre-record the key sections for when the preform live! 🤗

[teaboot]

Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat

My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten

Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread

But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing

Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby

When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.

The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"

So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag

And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend

Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad

So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did

And he still wasn't great, but he also improved

And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"

And my mother is a woman of science. So she did

And he GOT BETTER

His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion

And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage

Like. He medically NEEDS junk food

I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.

If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE

Also blind, but that's unrelated

Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat

[berrymoos]

[❤️‍🩹] ,, rg!vi moodboard + headcanons!

this moodboard took me ,, SO stupid long to make & then when i went to save it the FILE CORRUPTED ヽ（≧□≦）ノ luckily all i had to do was go back & save it again but i seriously thought i was gna have to do the entire thing over X-/ regardless i luv how it turned out hehe !!

[💥] ✶ age ranges from super super ityy bitty (infant ages – a year or so) to curious big kid (5 – 8) ; however, she's only ever really little if it's just her & caitlyn as she's the one she feels safest with. if there's another regressor around—like jayce, jinx, or caitlyn if she needs to indulge in her headspace—vi finds herself adopting the big sibby role! she's a big sister at her core & she still adores looking after others, but sometimes she just . . . needs to be looked after, too

[💥] ✶ babysitter jinx who encourages vi's energy to the highest degree & puts mischievous ideas in her mind (nothing dangerous, of course !! silly little pranks n stuff hehe) but is the absolute sweetest when vi is teeny tiny. in the event vi is regressed super super little when jinx is also small, she becomes The Most protective over her baby sister ever

[💥] ✶ playdates w her & jayce always end in two sweaty little ones without fail bc they turn everything into a challenge (“betcha i can climb this tree faster than you!” — “nuh-uh!! i can!!!”) & will run themselves down to the bone by playing elaborate games of pretend

[💥] ✶ weepy lil thing :(( holding in her big feelings for so long when she's big results in lotsa tears when she's small, even if it's over things that aren't a big deal (like snapping a crayon or a stuffie bein put into the wash). usually snuggles from mama cait makes everything alll better tho !!

[💥] ✶ clifford the big red dog & spiderman r some of her favorite favorite things ever !! the very moment she hears the opening theme for clifford, there is nothing more important than gettin in front of the tv (it's one of those tv shows that make her RUSH off the potty the moment the commercial break is over). the only type of bandaids she will accept after pretending to be a silly web-slinging hero are spiderman ones, so cait keeps a ton on deck!

[💥] ✶ also feel like she'd enjoy coyote peterson / brave wilderness too ?? when she's xtra little she watches the general exploration videos, steering clear of the biting / stinging / overall more violent ones cus it upsets her . . . but when she's bigger, oooo she gets soso hype when there's a new bug coyote finds or a snapping turtle he goes head to head with !! lotsa “woaaahh mama did’ja see that??? did’ja, did’ja???? itsa exe– execush’ner wasp ‘nd it– it stinged him!!! lookit, mama, lookit!!!!” & excited bouncing. cait is a big catalyst to this (even tho she does not like bugs) & will egg her on which just gets her more excited !! ＼(≧▽≦)／

[💥] ✶ active but extremely messy kiddo. she jumps in muddy puddles without a care of how soaked her socks will get later ; she makes potions out of grass, sticks, and rocks & shows them to caitlyn with grass stains on her pants ; she climbs trees to sneak up on birds & comes back down with leaf bits all in her hair . . . many, many baths are in her schedule. when she's a bit too little to do all of this, she'll sit near cait with all of her toys scattered around her, constantly bouncing from one to the other to keep her brain stimulated

[💥] ✶ bath time involves either lots of splish-splashin with her sharkie bath toys or dozin in the water till her fingers get all wrinkly. vi has a big appreciation for baths after her time in stillwater as it felt impossible to ever feel fully clean, so after big adventures in the backyard that end with mud splatters on her cheeks and dirt smeared on the palms of her hands, she & cait take extra care in makin sure all the nasties are all gone (*´˘`*)♡

[💥] ✶ loves those temporary tattoo kits ; to her, those are stickers she can stick on anyone that comes near >:-] caitlyn & jinx are her main subjects ; by the end of the day they will all have matching tattoos

[💥] ✶ very very clingy, especially after the war & officially losing most of everyone she has ever loved. while she gets more pouty & huffy when she's older, when she's itty bitty she gets sooo weepy cus her object permanence is just gone. there's a part of vi that's ashamed of how dependant she is on cait—after all, she's very used to taking care of others & taking care of herself, so such a drastic change in lifestyle can be jarring—but with cait, she can work through it ♡

[💥] ✶ being active one minute then having weepy feelings the next, vi takes a lotta naps! she Does Not like being told to take a nap, specially when she's claiming “big girl”–ness (“’m not sleepy!” she'll whine whilst rubbing an eye with a fist . . . yes you are, sweetness. yes you are), but she can forgive cait's insistence if she promises to lay down with her & rawrvioli the dino

[television-overload]

fate is the handspike

(an X-Files ficlet)

[Read on AO3]

Summary:

Starting on February 23, 1964, Teena Mulder begins to worry about her young son. At first, she thinks maybe he's wishing for a little sister, a wish that will be granted very soon. But he insists the little girl he talks to is called Dana, and she's too little to play, but she likes when he reads his books to her.

(fic below the cut)

i.

At first, Teena thinks it's cute.

"She's just a baby, mommy, she can't play yet," he'd say.

"Oh, is that right?" she'd reply, indulging him in his childish fantasies. Perhaps this was his way of asking for a sister. The other moms in the neighborhood often urged her to give Fox a sibling, citing a child's need for company and social engagement, but Fox had always seemed so happy to play alone. She's not on the best of terms with her husband at the moment, either, which complicates things.

But then there's times when she sees Fox on the floor, legs splayed out before him as he recites his favorite picture books to his imaginary friend, and she wonders if she ought to be worried. Just a little.

Dr. Seuss, Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog... The boy has a photographic memory. Though he's too young to properly read, he has a grasp on the basic plots and recounts them in great detail, turning the pages as he goes.

"This one is called 'Where the Wild Things Are,' Dana," he says, because his friend's name—he insists—is Dana. He turns the book in his hand and shows the colorful illustration on the cover to a patch of carpet on the living room floor. "Don't worry, it's not scary," he assures her. Her. It. Whatever it is he's spent his days talking to since late February.

When he tells the story, he uses his own name, instead of 'Max.' That's how she'd always read it to him, and that's the only way he knows.

"And Fox told the monsters to be still!" he narrates with enthusiasm. "He used a magic trick and looked right in their BIG yellow eyes, and they were all scared. They said Fox is the most wild thing of all, and they made him king!"

ii.

There was one night when she'd woken to find Fox standing in the corner of his room, speaking softly to the wall.

"Shh, it's okay, Dana," he soothed in his little voice. "Here, I'll sing you a song. Twinkle twinkle little star...."

She never tells Bill what she's seen. He's always too busy to notice himself. But others know.

"He's quite an imaginative young fellow," Spender notes, taking a draw from his cigarette as Fox rolls around in the grass outside the house in Quonochontaug. Since "Dana" learned to crawl, he's been even more preoccupied than usual. He shows her all his toys, tells her the names of all his action figures. He announces to his mother one day that he's going to teach Dana how to walk. That she can only stand on her own for a little bit right now, but she doesn't cry anymore when she falls down.

Bill, if he ever catches wind of this, must think he's talking about one of the other kids from Teena's ladies' group. But there's no "Dana" in this neighborhood. Not on the Vineyard, either. She's checked.

iii.

The day she finds out she's pregnant, a part of her wonders. Though her knowledge of her husband's work is small, she knows enough to gather that things she might have thought impossible, could in fact be possible. Perhaps her son had been having visions of his baby sister, long before she was even conceived. Maybe it had simply been a sign that he would one day be a big brother. Soon.

She'd long since dispelled thoughts of ghosts and hauntings and exorcisms.

He tells Dana all about the baby in mommy's tummy. He giggles and makes silly faces, pausing in between sentences, which she gathers must mean his friend has developed the ability to speak.

"Mommy, she said my name! That's right! Fox! Fox!"

iv.

When Samantha is born, "Dana" seems to disappear overnight. This, at least, supports her theory that he had simply been preparing himself for a new sibling, and after a few years, she's completely dismissed the issue. Fox shows no other signs of strange or unusual behavior. He is nothing but a doting big brother, who occasionally gets annoyed by his freckle-faced kid sister, as any brother is wont to do. He reads to her, plays games with her, watches the television with her. They're two peas in a pod, and not once does the name "Dana" escape his lips. She is all but forgotten.

Until he's twelve years old. Samantha is gone, and Teena lacks the patience to deal with his questioning.

"Mom? Does the name 'Dana' mean anything to you?" he asks.

"What? Of course not, Fox, why would you ask such a thing?"

He looks down at his feet, shoulders slumping. "No reason. Forget I asked."

v.

When Fox lays awake at night, the bedroom next to his now dull and empty, he thinks he can hear a voice. It isn't Samantha's—though he'd thought so at first.

"By heaven, man," she reads, "we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and Fate is the handspike. And all the time, lo! that smiling sky, and this unsounded sea!"

What does this girl know about fate? What does she know of this upside-down world?

"Read the next chapter, Dana!" he hears another girl's voice speak. The words are faint—muffled—like he's underwater. But her voice is clear.

He falls asleep, like most nights, listening to the tales of Ahab and Starbuck, and a great white whale.

-.-.-

Tag List ♡: @today-in-fic @agent-troi @baronessblixen @captainsolocide @cutemothman @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @hippocampouts @invidiosa @numinousmysteries @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @teenie-xf @thursdayinspace

[iszaranothere]

Dialogue prompts but they're things the GameGrumps have said

Struggling to start your scene? Having trouble writing dialogue? Don't worry, I've got you fam. I even sorted them into two catagories, a clean one and a more vulgar one, for your pleasure. If you end up using one of them, by all means tag me in the post, I'd love to see it.

Clean quotes

"And then I fired, and then I missed."

"The bananas has gone bad!"

"BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT KISSER! …Is what I've been told."

"I don't understand why the Chinese don't just use forks and spoons."

"Shutting down. Rebooting."

"There's so many places that aren't Andorra!"

"Jennifer dumped me."

"Did you point? Did you point? DID YOU POINT?!"

"Today is football."

"I'm gonna lay face-down on the radiator."

"Just what the heck is going on here?"

"UNAVOIDABLE CHIN MOVE!"

"The carbuncle ate itself."

"At age six I was born without a face."

"Great to see you again! You must die."

"I'm grapes!"

"Why did my dad birth me?"

"That's crazy. Especially since… who cares."

"I'm the video game boy! I'm the one who wins!"

"Bienvenue powerbottoms!"

"MY DAD WORKS AT NINTENDO!"

"With great confidence comes great wonfidence."

"Get bigger hands!"

"MORE ONION PLEASE."

"Why do I have to suffer in this meat prison?"

"That baby is not a baby, that is a jelly bean with a face."

"I HAS BRO! DO YOU HAS BRO?"

"JUST SOMETHING HAPPEN PLEASE."

Vulgar quotes

"I mean look at the way he slurps up his soup, what an asshole."

"Don't believe me? Look at my resume! Thirty years experience in jacking off!"

"MY DICK'S FALLEN OFF."

"If you shit in a bowl of rice crispies, do they go snap crackle poop?"

"Who needs a blue coin when you got a fucking mental breakdown coming in the back of your head?"

(sing-songy) "My asshole burns 🎶"

"I'm gonna pre dude."

"It's Clifford the big red stab wound."

"You think Sonic shits?"

"What's more in the spirit of Christmas than eating ass?"

"I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking murder your face, fuck you."

"I feel like I just came back from a mythical creature bukkake."

"Plump, sweet and begging for cream!"

"Isn't it weird how at least once a day your hand is touching your asshole?"

"GOD! IT'S SO HARD TO FUCKING FUCK!"

"I was the greatest load my dad ever shot."

"You think I came out of the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?"

"Oh, bump off you bumpin' grasshoe."

"I would fuck anything on this screen, including the animals and the bicycle."

"The only thing I bust are rhymes and nuts."

"Am I about to see your skyward sword?"

"WE WON'T LET THOSE FUCKERS TAKE THIS LAND!"

"I fucked a cantaloupe once."

[writersdare]

5SOS ♡ Masterlist

Last update: 10.01.2025

Main Masterlist | Requests are temporary closed | Prompt List | Taglist | Recommendations | Angst Endings

♡ – readers' favourite; ♥︎ – the most popular 5SOS work

Luke Hemmings

The Last Time new Summary: It was rather naive of Luke to believe he wouldn’t grow a flaming sympathy for Y/N. Warning: fwb to lovers

Hold Me Tight Summary: Luke has been plagued by nightmares, but Y/N was always there for him. Warning: hurt/comfort, nightmares

Let Me Love You Summary: Luke knew it wasn’t his fault Y/N didn’t let him get any closer, but he just wished to know what he could do to make it better. Warning: angsty, trusting issues, mentioning of a breakup, the reader may have low self-esteem Two Gummy Worms ♡ Summary: Luke was determined to take Y/N on a night drive. Some things, though, didn’t want to go according to his perfect plan. Warning: friends to lovers, fluff, mentioning of food

He Called Her a Fairy Summary: No matter how excited Luke was to go on tour, it was always too heartbreaking to say goodbye to Y/N. However, that parting was worth going through to meet again. Warning: hurt/comfort, angsty

Eyes Can Speak Too Summary: Being blinded by the feelings for each other, Luke and Y/N didn’t see the obvious things. Warning: friends to lovers, angst, trusting issues, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Sweeter Than Honey Summary: Spending a simple evening with Y/N, Luke realised she was always his happy place. Warning: fluff

Baby Girl Summary: Even in Y/N’s darkest times, Luke was always there to guide her to the light. Warning: hurt/comfort, disordered eating

Why Won’t You Love Me Summary: Luke and Y/N broke up after a few months of dating so they could at least remain friends, but seemed like it didn’t ease the pain. Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Never Doubt Me Summary: A date, it would seem, could not get any worse, but then Luke remembered a painful rumour he heard about Y/N. Warning: argument

No Longer Together Summary: Trying to move on from a breakup, Luke and Y/N found each other at the same room, playing “spin the bottle”. Warning: College!AU, angst, mention of alcohol and a breakup

More coming...

Ashton Irwin

Keep It Quiet ♡ Summary: Ashton and Y/N kept their relationship a secret for a while, but one interview made the things a little complicated. Warning: none

Give Me Attention Summary: Ashton and Y/N had been friends for a while. However, everything changed once she found out an unpleasant secret he thought to hide from her. Warning: angst, an intimate moment, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

Michael Clifford

Don’t Be a Stranger Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart. Warning: slight angst

Calum Hood

Ghost of You Summary: It had been four months of silence between Calum and Y/N. Could she finally move on?  Warning: angst All Too Well Summary: It’s the first time ever when Calum and Y/N didn’t need to be apart, as they were going on tour together. However, things could never just be perfect, could they? Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing

Strawberry Jam Summary: The winter holidays were simply the best for both Calum and Y/N, especially when a heating problem in their house occurred. Warning: fluff, friends to lovers

Password Is Your Birthday ♡♥︎ Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum’s loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test. Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol

Paris Broke My Heart Part 1 | Part 2 Summary: Calum knew he’d lose Y/N each time she’d start a new relationship, but that time it was different. She was leaving the country, maybe forever. Warning: 18+ (non-detailed smut), angst, fluff, friends to lovers, cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

– photo is obv not mine and belongs to the rightful owner –

© writersdare | all rights reserved

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.4 because I'm addicted to making these (the link I used)

*Sam is reading a Clifford The Big Red Dog book* Luke, watching: How did he get to be so big? Do they ever explain that? Sam: Well, Emily’s love for him grew, and so did he. Luke: Well, your dog is pretty small. Guess that says something about you, huh? Sam, angrily shutting his book: YOU’RE SMALL! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?!?! AJ: Hey, Tom? Tom: Yeah? AJ: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Tom: Tom: Where’s Luke?

Sam: You know what the problem is? Your really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie-hole. Luke: You think I’m cute? Sam: SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE! AJ: I am an expert at identifying birds. Tom: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? AJ: Yeah, they're all birds. Luke: What are you guys playing? AJ: Go Fish. Luke: That’s a nice, safe game. Luke: But don’t you need cards? AJ: Where do you keep the spear gun? Sam: I regret nothing!!! Tom: I regret everything!!! Luke: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! AJ: You should say something else. Sam: I failed my safety training course today. Tom: Why, what happened? Sam: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" Tom: And? Sam: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer. Luke: But what about AJ? Sam: Don't worry about him. Sam: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened. Luke: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Tom periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Luke: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going. Tom: That sounds like a terrible plan. Sam: Oh, we've had worse. AJ: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Luke: And you came to me? AJ: So, I've been thinking Tom- Tom: That's dangerous. Sam: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! Luke: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? Luke: Somehow that's worse. *AJ is crying after a breakup* Luke: There there, AJ. AJ, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room? Luke: Great question— Tom: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens." Tom: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Tom: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me. Tom: *looks at AJ* Tom: Baby boy. Baby. Tom: *looks at Sam* Tom: Evil. (Luke is somehow both at the same time) Sam: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits. AJ: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one dollar? Sam: Exchange it for a hundred pennies, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it. AJ: One time I went to hand Sam a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.” Tom: I am in charge of this disaster! AJ: I have a name, you know. Tom: Luke, Sam, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Sam, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Luke is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Luke: I love you too :) Tom: Do you know a turtles only weakness? AJ: No...well, their slowness. Tom: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Tom: Now I have a plan. Tom: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable. Sam, talking about Luke: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO. AJ: What are you writing? Sam: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Tom, looking over Sam's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy. AJ: I was voted “friendliest classmate” in high school. Sam: I was voted “most likely to become a clown”... Luke: You think that’s bad? HA! I was voted “most likely to get rabies”! AJ: Sam won’t come out of their room! Tom: Just tell them I said something. AJ: Like what? Tom: Anything factually incorrect. AJ, shrugging: If you say so. Sam, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

[meret118]

This time, the risk to human health is only growing, experts say. Sixty-six of the 68 total human cases in the United States have been just since March, including the first human death in this country earlier this month."

The last six months have accelerated my concern, which was already high," said Dr. Nahid Bhadelia, an infectious diseases physician and the founding director of Boston University's Center on Emerging Infectious Diseases.

Controlling this virus has become more challenging, precisely because it's so entrenched in the global environment, spilling into mammals such as dairy cows, and affecting 147 million birds in commercial and backyard flocks in the US.

Because laying hens are so susceptible to the H5N1 virus, which can wipe out entire flocks within days of the first infection, egg producers have been on the frontline in the fight against various bird flu strains for years now.

But this moment feels different. Egg producers and the American Egg Board are begging for a new approach.

Many infectious disease experts agree that the risks to human health of continuing current protocols is unsustainable, because of the strain of bird flu driving this outbreak."

The one we're battling today is unique," said David Swayne, the former lab director of the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) Agricultural Research Service (ARS) Southeast Poultry Research Laboratory (SEPRL) and a leading national expert in avian influenza."It's not saying for sure there's gonna be a pandemic" of H5N1, Swayne said, "but it's saying the more human infections, the spreading into multiple mammal species is concerning."

. . .

Given the mounting death toll for animals and the increasing risk to humans, there's a growing push to vaccinate certain poultry against avian influenza, which countries like China, Egypt, and France are already doing.

. . .

"If we vaccinate, we not only lose $6 billion potentially in exports a year," Clifford said. "If they shut us off, that product comes back on the US market. Our economists looked at this and said we would lose $18 billion domestically."

. . .

Swayne, the avian influenza expert and poultry veterinarian, works with WOAH and says most of his colleagues in the animal and public health world "see vaccination of poultry as a positive tool in controlling this panzootic in animals," but also a tool that reduces chances for human infection, and chances for additional mutations of the virus to become more human-adapted.

. . .

To take just one obstacle, none of the current HPAI vaccines are a perfect match for the current strain, according to the USDA. But if the virus evolves to be able to transmit from human to human, he said, "that would be a game changer for everybody, which would probably force vaccination."

Me: It's too fucking late then!

Earlier this month, the USDA announced it would "pursue a stockpile that matches current outbreak strains" in poultry. "While deploying a vaccine for poultry would be difficult in practice and may have trade implications, in addition to uncertainty about its effectiveness, USDA has continued to support research and development in avian vaccines," the agency said.

At this point, Metz argued, the industry can't afford not to try vaccination, which has helped eradicate diseases in poultry before.

. . .

But unless the federal government acts, that tool won't be used.

Me: Which won't happen.

It's like 'dead birds flying': How bird flu is spreading in the wild

Trigger warning for images of dead animals at the top of the article!

"The beaches were just loaded with carcasses. We saw basically every [elephant seal] pup dead. We estimate about 18,000 dead baby elephant seals."Dead from bird flu.And it wasn't just elephant seals. There were terns – with their yellow beaks and black heads – stumbling about having seizures on the sand. The scene played out again and again in the weeks that followed, up and down the coastline. "It was like birds falling out of the sky, dead," she says.

. . .

She's been tracking bird flu as it goes from one bird species to another — from seabirds to waterfowl to birds of prey — and then to marine mammals from sea lions to dolphins and then, sometimes, jumping back to birds.

"It's just like wildfire. I mean it just killed everything it encountered," she says, speaking to NPR from Argentina.

In the U.S., bird flu headlines have focused on an unprecedented number of American cases and the impact of the virus on dairy cows and on poultry farms. But wildlife researchers like Uhart say the dramatic scene in Argentina is evidence that something new — and ominous — is going on with the virus that causes bird flu. And that ignoring it puts human health in peril.

. . .

Globally, nobody knows how many wild animals the virus has killed."No one's counting. We have no idea," says Wille. "It is a global catastrophe"

A variant of H5N1 bird flu that has circulated widely in wild birds — and in several instances led to severe illness in humans — has turned up in dairy cattle for the first time.

. . .

"We really haven't heard a word about how the CDC is continuing to respond, or if they're responding at all, which makes it very, very difficult for academics and people outside the government to contribute," says Angela Rasmussen, a virologist at the University of Saskatchewan in Canada.The variant, known as D1.1 genotype, belongs to a different genetic lineage than what's fueled the infections in dairy cattle over the past year.

. . .

So far, bird flu infections in dairy workers have largely led to mild illness. In contrast, two cases of severe illness in North America were associated with this D1.1. genotype — in a Louisiana resident who caught the virus from backyard flocks and died, and a teenager in British Columbia who ended up in critical condition. (The source of her infection was never identified).

So far, bird flu infections in dairy workers have largely led to mild illness. In contrast, two cases of severe illness in North America were associated with this D1.1. genotype — in a Louisiana resident who caught the virus from backyard flocks and died, and a teenager in British Columbia who ended up in critical condition. (The source of her infection was never identified).

Scientists have speculated this variant could be intrinsically more deadly for humans, although it's possible other factors like the route of exposure could be a factor, too.

. . .

Lori Freeman, who leads the National Association of County and City Health Officials, says her members have not been receiving regular briefings and updates on the bird flu situation as had been the case under the previous administration.

-----

Every mutation is another chance for pandemic in humans. This is so extremely serious, and I don't think it's getting nearly enough attention in the US media.

Depending on the strain it can have a 50% mortality rate in people, which would be apcolyptic. Meanwhile trump has dismantled the very organizations we would need to help us.

Wear your mask, wash your hands, and don't touch your face!

[sageispunk]

main masterlist

updated: 12/14/24 | ⭐️ smut | 🐚 fluff | 🥀 angst | 🖤 dark |

✦ the bear (hulu)

'might be' - Richie Jerimovich x f!reader ⭐️

The first time you meet 🍃 dealer Richie.

'he finds out ur a squirter' - Richie Jerimovich x reader ⭐️

Passionate missionary with bf Richie talking you through it.

'looking ahead' - Richie Jerimovich x reader ⭐️

Richie can't help but to watch. Even if you didn't mean to leave your door open. (dubcon)

breeding kink drabble - Richie Jerimovich x reader ⭐️

Richie can't wait until you're finally knocked up with his baby.

✦ they cloned tyrone

'drown in it' - Fontaine x black!reader ⭐️

He makes you squirt on his face. Happily.

NSFW alphabet - Fontaine x black! reader ⭐️

The ABCs of Fontaine's love.

'eyes on me' - Fontaine x black! reader ⭐️ (Ao3)

You're a little too interested in Fontaine's weapons.

✦ rebel ridge (2024)

'anointed' - Terry Richmond x black!reader ⭐️

When he eats you through the panties.

'red lipstick' - maintenance man!Terry Richmond x black!OC ⭐️

Don't let your husband stop you from finding the love of your life...

✦ wwe

'pretty like u' - Jeff Hardy x black!reader ⭐️

A little lipstick never hurt anyone...

'told you so' - Jey Uso x black!OC Ravyn ⭐️

[infidelity, teasing, crazy dirty talk, rough sex]

'belongs to another' - Jimmy Uso x black!reader ⭐️🐚🥀

[friends with benefits, infidelity, weed use]

untitled - Jey Uso x black!reader ⭐️

[alcohol use, groping, teasing]

✦ triple frontier

‘too divine’ - Frankie Morales x f!reader ⭐️

Riding Frankie after a long night out.

✦ marvel

'just one more' - Matt Murdock x f!reader ⭐️

Matthew is out of town but you still need him. (Ktober prompt: phone sex)

'wriggle' - Erik Stevens x black!reader ⭐️🐚

[roommates, teasing, tickling kink]

✦ the last of us (hbo)

'what u need' - Joel Miller x f!reader ⭐️

Teasing Joel underneath a table in a bar sometimes leads to getting ruined on the side of the road.

'melting' - Joel Miller x f!reader ⭐️

Joel wants to try something new. (Ktober prompt: temperature play)

'sticky' - Joel Miller x f!reader ⭐️

Joel wants to learn. So you let him. (Ktober prompt: squirting + masturbation)

'inside'- Joel Miller x mistress ⭐️🥀 (Ao3)

When the cat's away, the mice will play.

✦ how high (2001)

'what's it gonna be?' - Silas x black!reader ⭐️🐚

When two friends finally get a night alone...

'as nature intended' - Silas x black!reader ⭐️🐚

[weed use, hairy coochie praise, breeding kink mention]

✦ formula 1

'foolish' - Lewis Hamilton x black!reader ⭐️🥀

Cause I can't seem to break away from your foolish love...

✦ misc.

'control' - Max Phillips x f!reader ⭐️

Drinking with your boss goes differently than you'd planned. (Ktober prompt: sex pollen, thigh-riding, forced orgasm)

'4/20' - Terrance Coin x black!reader ⭐️🐚

[weed use, neighbors to lovers, age gap]

'sweet dreams' - Gustavo Fring x reader ⭐️🖤 (Ao3)

When Mr. Fring finally gets his hands on you...

✦ series & AUs

'the first taste' - vamp!Lewis Hamilton x black!reader ⭐️🐚🥀🖤

What do you do when one night just isn't enough?

'all the way down' - Clifford Smith x black!reader ⭐️🐚🥀

When a night of spontaneity spirals into a full-blown affair out of your control.

'same ol' mistakes' - Jordan x reader x Sophie ⭐️🐚🥀

When they love you more than they hate each other...

'crush' - blackfem!OCs x black!OCs⭐️🐚🥀

Oneshot series based on each song of Ravyn Lenae's Crush EP.

'rise n shine' - blackfemme!reader x blackfemme!OC⭐️

Cute lil something about waking up with a pretty girl...

i do not give permission for anyone to copy, translate, or repost any of my works. 18+ ONLY -- i am not responsible for the content you consume.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Completed Wattpad Fics Masterlist

Beauty - afibloom ot4 43 Parts

Summary: Everyone knew not to look and definitely not to touch the beautiful man named Michael Clifford. He was the precious baby of the notorious Calum Hood after all. But (un)fortunately for Luke Hemmings and Ashton Irwin, they simply didn’t listen.

behind the bars - wastedheartmuke michael/luke 32 parts

Summary: Michael and Luke share a history but they also share a prison cell.

billionaire - ninjaturtleirwin luke/calum 32 Parts

Summary: “What’s not to like? Luke, I’m a billionaire." 

 —

Where polar opposites fall hard for one another, but not without complications.

deaf - aIltimelucas michael/ashton 34 Parts

Summary: mikey’s been deaf for 17 years and now that he’s not he’s not really sure how to speak. everyone avoids him or teases him. except ashton. ashton had always been the caring type. the rescuer. he started out hanging out with the red haired mute boy to be kind but quickly finds himself falling in love. 

Fall for You - FINEHEMMINGS ot4 102 Parts

Summary: luke can’t sleep at night, so instead he spends his time messaging his favorite band members

For A Good Time Call - 1D_HarryStyles_1D michael/ashton, michael/calum 26 Parts

Summary: Michael was looking for a good time, not a relationship.

girly - genderfluidmikey luke/calum 27 Parts

Summary: calum may be girly, but luke likes him and his pink little skirts.

Hold My Hand - catchlukeonfire luke/ashton 53 Parts

Summary: In which Ashton over-analyses Luke, and Luke is always worrying what Ashton thinks about him.

Let's talk about sex - wastedheartmuke michael/luke 37 Parts

Summary: Michael Clifford: I want you to have sex with me. top!Michael

Lie To Me - afibloom ot4 57 Parts

Summary: Luke being arrested for the possession of drugs made Michael believe that he would never be surprised by his boyfriend’s secrets ever again.

But the reality of it was, was that it was only the beginning of all the secrets and lies. Everything soon gets revealed out into the open for those involved to see.

Add the drug lords Ashton and Calum to the mix, and things start getting even messier.

New Kid - LashtonStylinson28 luke/ashton 33 Parts

Summary: "He's just a classmate who talked to me. I shouldn't feel anything. But I do."

Ripped Tights and Late Nights - youmeathemmo michael/luke 22 Parts

Summary: Michael’s fully aware of the fact that what he’s doing is wrong, but Luke’s beckoning him closer with crooked fingers and an easy smirk and Michael’s never been able to resist his baby boy.

Stripper!Luke, Lawyer!Michael

Rose Petals - afibloom ot4 41 parts

Summary: A hurt tattoo artist, a crazed painter, a confused druggie, and a controlling gangster…It sounds like a chaotic mix of colors that shouldn’t be able to mix, but instead they take that expectation and they make themselves blend together instead.

Shelter - the_mo_ment michael/luke 47 Parts

Summary: In which Michael was homeless and Luke is a Student.

Skirts - genderfluidmikey michael/calum 18 Parts

Summary: “i really like your hair”

“i really like your skirt, beautiful”

start a fight - fivesecondsofsheeran michael/luke 44 Parts

Summary: prisoner!michael likes to pick on parole officer!luke

Tangled Sheets - Princessofmuke luke/ashton 29 Parts

Summary: Ashton isn’t your ordinary 16 year old high school boy,he’s on the edge of breaking down and it won’t be pretty. Caught up between the non stop bullying,anxiety and fighting parents Ashton struggles to breath.

But one night changes his life forever , the one night his only ‘friend’ Michael invited him to a party.

“it was a mistake but why is he captivating my mind?”

The Bet - mentholsmgc michael/luke 13 Parts

Summary: Michael and Calum have a bet going: that Michael, who usually can’t keep a relationship longer than two weeks, can make someone stick around for a whole month. But Michael doesn’t expect the someone to be the shy kid in school, Luke Hemmings.

the sophomore - hemmowrites michael/luke 37 Parts

Summary: In which Michael falls for the boy in the wheelchair.

tutor - lhemmingsdaily michael/ashton 21 Parts

Summary: “And why the hell do I need to know the answer of y² - x³ = 432?”

“Well, because if you solve it, I’ll kiss you.”

[fakeusernamelol]

Stan has to finally give in that yeah if he doesn't help Ford with this then Ford is going to get so arrested because he is Not playing this smart At All and yeah Stan is extremely pissed Ford made him give birth in the back of his car but if he doesn't die of sepsis then Ford isn't allowed to die in prison, they're doing this Stanley's Way Now and that means Stanford Pines is going to be the name of a character they both play (the news played Stan as a scared little girl that got raped and kidnapped by her unnervingly smart brother, so no one expects "her" to look just like him) and Stanford Pines is going to be cartoonishly evil. Except. He's robbing two banks in different towns within the same hour? He was spotted in a mugging and at an underground casino at the same time? An arson and a murder two states apart in the same afternoon? Then news outlets start getting tips on these descrepencies and a headline is issued: "Stanford Pines Isn't Real". It becomes a huge conspiracy, the government took a random double homocide of Constance and Stanford Pines but didn't release it to the public so that they could use the idea of a lower-class Jewish teenager suddenly becoming deranged and doing every crime in the book for no apparent reason to sway voter opinions. It takes a few years but Stanford Pines becomes a myth and Clifford (Ford) Forrester and Stanley Forrester move into gravity falls with a mysteriously large amount of wealth so that Ford can take breaks between degrees studying local wildlife while his "roommate" runs tours of the creepy shack they live in with Ford's two children

Anon, im going to be honest with you i dont know if you are different people or the same person but YOU, YOU ARE NOW MY PARTHER IN CRIME BECAUSE YOURE LITERALLY SOLVING HOW TO CONTINUE THIS SHITTY AU (that i called kidnapper ford for giving it a name..) I LOVE THE IDEAS YOU ARE GIVING ME, I LOVE YOU 😘😘💖💓💖💓

I love so much that (as always..) Stan is the one who has to save Ford's ass, even if he's really mad with him now for basically denied him the opportunity of marrying the girl of his dreams and have a fucking normal family and instead making him give birth in the most hurtful and unsafe way in the back of his car in middle of the woods for nobody to hear his screams and being considered dead for his family and almost everyone he ever knew, Stan couldn't let his brother be screwed up. (They both are very toxic for the other tbh, Ford for wanting more and more of Stan being fully dependent on him and Stan for letting Ford doing anything even if it was a serious shit with no more issue than being annoyed about that but no more.) Luckily he has Inheriting his mother's ability to lie and fool people, so the teen kidnapper «Stanford Pines» soon went from being a criminal on the radar screen to being questioned by the public eye as someone who even existed. Was it really someone or just an aliases given by the police to various unidentified criminals?, even the police was confused now, Sure, There was one Stanford pines over there existing and they knew it but exactly of all the criminal around the country who were called like that who was the real Stanford Pines? They didn't even know where to start searching, he could be on some part and just hours later be on the opposite side of it! Soon the case became way more complex that it was and now «Stanford Pines» was just a pseudonym for what was believed to be a group of organized criminals from different parts of the country.

About the real Stanford and Constance Pines, they were still considering missing because the law couldn't declare them as dead until five years to happen but everybody who once knew them was sure they were dead. instead, A family of two young men no more than 20 years old was moving to a small town in the woods of Oregon called Gravity Falls: Clifford and Stanley Forrester along the two twin babies of the first one.

Who or why they were there was a complete mystery to the inhabitants of the town, The mystery around them gave Stan the idea to turn his shack into a creepy tourist trap while Ford resumed his studies and do his thesis about all the creatures he has seen in the woods. They took turns to take care of their babies so while ford studies Stan is taking care of them and vice versa when Stan's running the shack 😁😁

Now, another aspect I'm kinda curious about is how their relationship would be after stan accepted he won't see their family nor Carla again, honestly dear anon i would really like to know your perspective because you basically created all this beautiful idea and im just giving my views so don't want to talk so much for you again, more that i could see it wouldn't be as strong as it used to be before?

Like, something i couldn't denied is that stan sure gain a little of grudge to Ford for making him abandon a life that he was excited to live but not sure how he would feel now after almost two years living with ford while escaping from the law. Also im curious you said Ford's children, and i mean they are lol, but like do they present them as that? Stan finally accepted ford as a dad of his kids or do they switch? Because i don't think they could say they were of them both since you know 70's and adoption was illegal for same-sex couples at the time lol.

Anon again idk if you're just one or many with me on this but I appreciate you so much...🥹💖💓💖

[differenteagletragedy]

Omg, that fic with Baxter, mc, Penny and James was adorable! I'm curious one,how would Cove and Cliff react to James being named after them and two, how would uncle Cove be with James? Like, would he help teach them surfing or other water sports? Thanks, your fics and hcs are amazing!!

Thank you!!! I could write Daddy Baxter all day long I swear lol, i love him so much!

You'd given birth to James in the evening, so by the time you'd both been checked out and tucked away into a new hospital room, it was late. Baxter let your friends and family know to hold off visits until the next day.

Your moms came first with Penny in tow. all excited to meet the newest member of the family. Derek, early bird that he was, was next. He'd brought a stuffed animal for the baby and flowers for you.

Then came Cove and Cliff, your best friend and your father figure. And finally all three men whose names you'd given to your son were together.

Cliff was quick to snatch James up, snuggling him in his arms and cooing at him. Cove made his way to your bed and gave you a smile.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Ask a different question," you told him, eager to get to the good part.

He looked at you, confused. You were ready to let him keep going, but then Baxter suggested he look at the little name card attached to the bassinet the hospital had provided.

Cove bent over to look at it, but apparently skipped over the pertinent information because he looked back at you, his eyebrows still raised.

"What's the little guy's name?" Cliff asked with a laugh, having figured out Baxter's clue.

Cove looked at the card again, then back at you, eyes wide.

"You named him James?"

He launched himself at you -- well, in a gentle way, considering you'd just given birth not too long ago. He hugged you as hard as he could without hurting you.

"You didn't have to do that," he said quietly in your ear.

"I know. I wanted to."

Cliff was all smiles, still holding the baby, and asked "What about the middle name? Two like big sis?"

"Yes," Baxter answered. "Alexander, my own middle name."

He stopped, then looked at you. You nodded encouraging him to continue -- after all, the middle names were his idea.

"And Clifford."

Cliff had been slowly moving around the room with James, gently swaying him, but when he heard that, he stopped. He looked at Baxter, then to you.

Cove laughed as his father started crying, then moved to take the baby from him. Cliff wiped at his eyes, then went over to hug you.

"When Cove was little, I always thought that no matter what else i did with my life, at least I had one great kid," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "And then I got lucky enough to have another. Thank you, kiddo."

He then straightened himself and turned to Baxter. Your husband held his hand out for a shake, but instead Cliff pulled him into a tight hug.

Over the taller man's shoulder, Baxter winked at you, but you were close enough to see the tears sparkling in his eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Did you remember the lifejackets?"

"Yes."

"The water bottles?"

"Yes."

"The sunscreen?"

"Baxter, yes, I have everything," you said, reaching over to stroke the back of his head as he focused on driving. You then quietly told him, "It's going to be ok."

A little bit of the tension he held left him when you started touching him, but it wasn't all gone. Still, he glanced in the rearview mirror at Penny and James in the backseat, and he managed a smile.

"Who's ready for a beach day?" you asked excitedly.

Everyone but Baxter cheered.

Baxter was still scared of the ocean. He'd gotten better about it, once he'd even gone in up to his waist, but he still wasn't a big fan. Now that you had children, an extra layer of fear was added on. He loved his kids a million times more than he loved himself, even on his best day. So while he was frightened about what the water might do to him, it was nothing compared to what he feared for them.

These issues were an ongoing conversation, especially now that James had gotten older and expressed an interest in learning how to surf. But lucky for everyone, he had an uncle that was more than able to help him out.

That's where the family was headed that day -- you were going to your old neighborhood beach in Sunset Bird so Cove could take James surfing.

"Can you do us a favor and try not to get eaten by a shark?" Penny asked her little brother, not bothering to look up from her book. "It would really put a damper on Family Beach Day."

"Penny," you warned. She cackled, but didn't say anything else.

Beside you, Baxter finally had a real smile, but he bit it back. James may have had interests with which he couldn't necessarily relate, but Penny was his child, through and through.

When you got to the beach, Cove was there waiting. He'd already stripped down to his swim trunks, and he'd brought two surf boards.

You greeted him with a hug, and Baxter shook his hand. Penny gave him a fist bump, and James just smiled at him in anticipation.

"Ready?" Cove asked.

"Yes!" your son told him.

And they were off. Well, after Baxter made sure James had on a solid layer of sunscreen and, of course, his lifejacket.

Family beach days usually all went the same -- you were more comfortable in the water, and James loved being in it, so you kept up with him. Penny was 16 now, eight years older than James, and she went back and forth between lounging in the sun and splashing around in the waves. Baxter waded in sometimes, but for the most part he kept watch on the beach.

This time though, Cove had James. Penny was still reading, laid out on her towel, so you took the opportunity to take a seat next to your husband.

He smiled as you sat next to him and threaded his fingers through yours. You slipped into a comfortable silence as you watched Cove with your son -- they looked like they were having fun together, as they always did, and despite the bulky lifejacket, James seemed to be learning the basics.

"It doesn't bother you, does it?" you asked. "That he's doing this with Cove and not you?"

Baxter laughed, apparently finding the idea that there was even the remote possibility that he could teach James how to surf amusing. But when he looked at you, he saw you were serious.

"No, darling, of course not," he said, giving your hand a squeeze. "I'm glad he has Cove. I'm glad he has everyone in his life that can help teach him whatever he needs to know. I'd never be bothered by our children being surrounded by so much love. I think it's beautiful."

You didn't say anything to that -- you didn't have to. You loved him so much, you always had, but you were so incredibly proud of the man and father he'd grown to be.

While you were in the middle of your moment, you didn't realize that Penny had snuck up behind you. She stuck her head between yours and Baxter's and started dramatically humming the "Jaws" theme song, looking out at Cove and James.

"Penny, please."

[calumsrockstar]

Pretty please? - Michael Clifford

I just had to make this because this gif of mike was making me go feral

Word count: 759

Contents: SMUT (unprotected p in v, blowjobs and such) cursing, and a little fluff and minimal angst. This fic has it all!

Where the reader is doing work and Mike is just really sexually frustrated

switch!michael x switch!reader (fem)

You were extremely stressed, like EXTREMELY. You had an assignment due in three hours. Your boyfriend Michael, being finally done with tour and finally at home with you, was super grateful and happy that he was here, but since he's been here for a week, all you've been doing is studying, you've been having final exams and so much homework, you could barely even get 4 hours of sleep. To say you were dead would be an understatement.

Biting your pencil and staring at your screen, you heard a voice behind you. ''y/n?" it was your boyfriend Michael. He came and sat next to you on the couch, wearing a blank tank top and his flannel sweatpants, you couldn't lie, he looked sexy as always, but you couldn't have any distractions.

"Hey Mike, what's up?" you asked him. "Was just wondering what you were doing?" he questioned. You had a good look at him, his red hair was faded into pink, he looked extremely adorable. "Mike, i've told you i'm doing my assignment, it's due in three hours." you said sternly. He looked upset after you said it. "I'm sorry baby, but i really need to finish this, i'm really stressed out."

He started giving you neck kisses, and you moaned and pushed him away. You couldn't fool anyone, you were enjoying this way more than you should.

Your moan excited Michael even more. His dick was basically bursting out of his sweatpants, and you could see it. You bit your lip, wondering if this assignment was really that important. "Mike, I really need to finish this!" You laughed at him.

"I'm sure the professor can give you an extension, you're pretty charming y'know y/n?" This praise made you even more wet, especially because he was looking you right in the eyes when he said it.

You stood up from the couch and looked at him, under you, was the most beautiful man you've ever seen. "Pretty please?" Michael asked batting his eyelashes. How could you even say no to those gorgeous puppy dog eyes? "Fuck it" you said. "That's my pretty girl." You could hear the rasp in his voice which was only turning you on even more.

You placed yourself on his knee and started grinding, your wetness was staining his sweatpants. "Woah, i thought you wanted to study, and you're all wet for me huh?" "I was supposed to be studying!" you laughed. He smiled, and said "You can do it later."

He took you to the table your studying material was in, he cleared all the books, throwing them on the ground. He placed you gently on the table and started kissing you, taking off your panties, under your skirt. He left kisses all over your body, leading up to your aching cunt.

He started licking, and you grabbed his pink hair, his toungue was doing motions that you didn't even think were humanly possible. You were contorting your body and said "Mike, i'm close!" Michael stopped. You cried out.

"On your knees." You were happy to do what you were told. He was the one close to the table, you took off his flannel sweatpants and his erection practically jumped out at you. You started bobbing your head up and down, you licked his tip because you knew that was his most sensitive part. His mouth dropped to an "O shape." You stopped. "Payback" You said.

With no struggle at all, he placed you on the table, and he placed himself in front of you. You looked up at him and his eyes were filled with lust, and so were yours.

He teased your opening with his tip. "Please just fuck me Mike!" He chuckled. "Ask me nicely y/n". You smiled. "Pretty please?" He also smiled. "Atta girl." His voice raspy.

You cried out as he slammed himself into you, oh how you missed this. "You're so gorgeous" You kissed him. You were surprised on how fast your orgasm came. "Mike, i'm gonna cum!" You cried out. "Cum for me princess, let it all out" Michael looked you in the eyes. You finally let yourself go, your orgasm pulsating. A few seconds passed, and Michael blew his load inside you, you gasped at the feeling of being full with his cum. You both smiled. "Get a towel for me would you?" You asked him. "Of course princess." He cleaned you up.

"I thought you were supposed to be studying" he laughed. "Shut up!" you laughed too, punching him in the arm.

[kenmaiii]

MOOVEEE IM CURIOUS!! please do tell why you think each of the boys would flop in dating I'd love to hear an indepth! like as a huge levi fan I'm extremely patient with him as is because same hat with stuff he goes and struggles through but just know I have to put my foot down because he'll eventually be too much and won't accept we definitely got some unhealthy dynamic going on down the line

YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE ANON. kind of a coin toss here tho cuz I think every character in any property should have flaws to some degree! Even if they are a 'perfect' character bcuz no one can actually be entirely 'perfect', but its like. a double edged sword with OM cuz thats either admitting that the writers kind of did their thing for once OR is it just that they completely fumbled in approaching these flaws properly

and reminder this is not me saying they wouldnt have ANY good dateable qualities at all, just pointing out why you'd look at one of them and think Hm. This Is Kinda. Not As Fun As I Wouldve Thought.

BUT YEA. WHY I THINK CHARACTERS WOULD FLOP AT DATING U

LUCIFER: oh boy where do i start. I dont know about the rest of you but I fear that this old man is way TOO strict and domineering most of the time. (not always.................. of course. he has a silly side for sure but good lord...) 😒 like I am nawt trying to date a prison warden can you ease up off me a bit sir... I know the game has taken more care to editing his dialogue in a respectful way but my gawd does this guy demand things from you so much. Like VERY demanding in not tolerating certain things from you, literally it's his way or the highway and you have GOT to do it right too or else. he's like that with everyone sure but with the MC? dating? yeesh! I think if you are the type that doesn't like being told what to do or being talked over you'd get annoyed with him very quickly.

Like the writers unfortunately nailed having someone be so prideful to such blazing smoldering degrees that it ended up overshadowing a lot of his good parts. Getting him to admit things/wrongdoings is so very hard. He's VERY emotionally constipated as hell on top of that. I know he can actually set aside the time to say things to you while being genuine. occasionally. rarely. but he's way more likely to mainly ONLY be open while DRUNK. and while i think its kind of cute as a trait somewhat, are YOU willing to wait for him to be extremely real mainly when he's too drunk to possibly remember every time.

Speaking of getting drunk though he's also like- ridiculously horny a lot which?F?DSf is a bonus if you like that but it can come across as him being overly pushy in many many cases. but once again i can acknowledge the writers/translators have been better at adding in clear consent to choices. 👍🏿 Another thing is that you'd have to deal with him always being busy and overworking himself. and constantly. And as someone that also has very questionable sleeping/eating/overworking habits you are going to have a very hard time getting through to him about this bcuz he puts way too much responsibility on himself AND he has a tendency to forget that he hasnt slept/eaten. It would be a very nasty combo if youre ALSO like that (even if he would scold you for doing the same and take care of you)

Also he cares about them sure but he's most definitely always gonna be complaining about his brothers and Diavolo to you constantly. Are you ready to sit through that. More than usual that is.

Speaking of the brothers being a package deal they will most definitely interrupt any peace and quiet you and the eldest both rarely get, like the mood will just nawt be right im sorry.

Oh and if youre not a dog person I cannot imagine how you are even going to tackle time with him and a giant three-headed demon dog bcuz that would also have to be your baby by default. Walks must be absolutely something! Like I love dogs but really think about it. An actual life-sized Clifford. But a demon dog. I do not have the strength to deal with regularly sized dogs even

MAMMON: he was one of the slightly higher ones on that 'worst to date' poll (nowhere near Luci or Belphie ofc), but it was only people listing about money problems or going 'Ha. imagine sharing a bank account with that guy. it'd be drained so fast'. And yea sure I hear that. u-u All that guy really needs is someone to properly manage and limit his funds and advise him really (but I mentioned before that Mammon shouldnt just be limited to money or material valuable like the writers always do. His fatal flaw is his greed! and greed can encompass many things not just material (There's power, love, friendships, food etc).

His flop when dating you, I would think is being too overprotective and possessive of your time. As much as I love him he DOES overstep quite a bit with the 'being your first'. Sometimes he simply does not consider YOUR feelings on situations and schemes first. Though that's a flaw of most of the people in the devildom have by law of the Main Character Curse™. You must be put into situations I get that -w- But like I said yea he really does have a really big problem with possessiveness and always wanting your time and attention. Which- could get tiring if you're not in the frame of mind to deal with clinginess or possessiveness! Because I totally get that it's a lot for some people.

Harking back to the money thing though I genuinely dont think it'd actually be a SUPER DUPER MAJOR problem with your relationship? He's shown to be quite considerate on that aspect when it really comes down to it. Like he HAS worked a couple extra shifts at a job in canon just to save up and buy gifts before. And he's literally a highly sought after model! And surprisingly good at math when he has the opportunity (though it def still has to relate to him positively $$$) so he could stack his dough pretty normally. He just needs someone to keep an eye on his funds + other sources to balance out his Greed more! 😅

Somehow he manages to be both capable and completely hopeless also which is very impressive! You would have to help him out with a lot of things since he IS used to being spoiled, in a way. He does get treated very poorly by a lot of the characters BUT he clearly still has very lavish tastes and was both a very high-ranking angel AND demon so combined with greed he's used to the good stuff (thus me thinking he's fairly spoiled still- so he will expect a lot of you lowkey) Also I know I said he's well capable of finding his own source of income but he IS canonically bad at saving... and added with the thing above ^ well... If you've watched Abbott Elementary at all he WILL be the Tariq to your Janine, sorry!

TBH.. I cant really think of any other flaws atm besides over-asserting himself to your time and attention

LEVI: grabbing you by the shoulders- THATS IT THATS EXACTLY WHY ANON!!!! his flopping is mainly coming from the fact that he always puts himself down so very much!!! his head is literally his biggest enemy! its natural for people to have insecurities or doubts about things. and that can be especially heightened in relationships; whether platonic or romantic! but oh mein gottness does that guy put himself down so much.

I also struggle with the same things (believe it or not Levi was my wife for a good while like he used to make me teehee giggle like crazy so i get it i relate heavily). But at some point you ARE going to feel a bit drained or tired constantly hearing negative things about someone you care about and love! Supporting and providing reassurance or denying the negative stuff is a given, and can go on for as long as time would permit! But at some point you have got to start believing in yourself a little more and serve cuntress or something, Levi!

If levi was able to work on believing himself more and being more confident (which he has shown himself to do in quite a few cases) I think it can flop a little less!

His gaming time might cut quite a bit into your romantic time as well, especially if youre not the type thats super into gaming. Also considering that this is definitely his first real relationship (compared to the others) and not an ingame one I feel like there would need to be a serious chat at some point over ideals and expectations that he's picked up in game. Or how things possibly work irl. I must be honest, while it is cute for him to get so excited or irl achievements and progress with you he does unintentionally compare that to his gaming experiences quite a bit (even out loud in front of you). Not babying him or shaming him but it's still nice to talk about the things you expect or want relationship-wise and I know he'd be out of his depth with that.

his only other flaw (to some, not me 🤔) might be his avid infodumping and explaining of shows/anime/games/manga IF you arent interested in hearing about that a lot. What else do you guys have in common that you can relate with I suppose? A very minor thing though as I think many of us like a little infodumping nerd as long as they arent being pretentious about it! ^_^

<- she is not going into detail on Rurichan since there's too much debating on if its weird or simply his special interest/comfort character. them artists (especially in the anime) really keep trying to set him up tho..

SATAN: oooh boy. I recognize that Satan's character (ignoring Nightbringer) is for the most part stuck in a limbo of constantly having ties to Luci and his insecurities around that. Not necessarily a flop since I do believe that he would confide in you about it a fair amount buttttt he definitely loses points for constantly bringing up Lucifer. -100 EXP

People are always making him out to be extremely angry at the drop of a pin, which yea does get angry about things, but also he? don't be getting angry all that often? especially when he gets his little annual pockets of character development? angry and annoyed occasionally sure but its not his ONLY trait. now if he's raging 24/7 and could barely have a convo with anyone that'd be red flag dating flop city! but since he is not we can slide him further down the least to being less of a dating flop with you. (we're ignoring the NB version of him btw)

Now an actual flaw I can actually point out is he's also quite selfish... but he can surprisingly own up to it most of the time. sorta. kinda. well-

and to a degree he definitely seems to be lacking in awareness in certain social aspects. He's just a silly guy on the spectrum like most of his brothers tho: he gets a pass. Plus he's a socialite he's got a lot of fun connections, what does it matter that he can meow on command in the middle of this fancy dinner. Sure the other guests are looking at us weird and he's a little bit of a freak but he can meow-

His biggest flaw is being funny actually. That pisses me off stop making me laugh ✋🏿🙄 and if you hate him making cat puns i suppaws that would get under your skin too

ASMO: Asmo's insecurities are gonna get the better of him every now n again also, so while he's not quite in the same self-deprecating league as Levi, he definitely needs a lot of reassurance and compliments to stay grounded. So if that's not something you can keep up with it could prove to be a lot considering he's so obsessed with himself. Just like Mammon he has a lot of possessive tendencies, but it comes out in interesting ways unlike Mammon's ig. He's covertly silly with it since he'd say it with a cute smile on his face. He's a little insane also. I think it's just cuz the version of Asmo I have in my head is drenched in blood I hope you understand. Something isn't right up there (affectionate) so you would also have to get used to the most insane things being said with a smile. Not a flaw to most people of course but to ppl that are normal... well... it would be a lot

But Imagine youre dating him, you walk into his room and you see him quietly mumbling to himself in a ring of mirrors to cheer himself up. I'd be like hey um. Do we need to talk about this.

And to finish it off he does have a quite a bit of selfish moments considering he loves to put himself first (common theme with the ppl in the devildom hm...) and a lot of times where he gets unreasonably angry! But to be fair I love selfish angry characters IF they fit the right boxes, so I cheer whenever he gets like that bcuz I love studying him 🔍. Dealing with it in real life tho well... hm. who's to say how one would handle that! He's still my little sweetie tho and he would eat up the romancing and wining & dining and know HOW you need to be loved, there's just the other things to deal with when it comes to dating him!

BEEL: he's on the LEAST likely to flop while dating you scale honestly cuz he's literally just a chill sweet guy when he's trying his best. I think his only problem would be in not understanding you sometimes. Im sure he listens but will he really GET everything. Bcuz there are a few moments in game where Beel seems to be a lot more internally insightful even if he's not as vocal about his thoughts. And he's clearly very considerate abt the people he cares about, but ultimately there's a lot he just wouldn't get unless you sit down and clearly explain it to him. Bcuz otherwise it could come off as him not caring or being indifferent since he's pretty nonchalant. Blunt at times but still, easy-going and fairly perceptive.

And he's very much also a guy that just charges into things, though it's kind of a give-or-take thing. He is equally the guy that worries and stresses about something in silence if it's serious enough or he does not dwell on something for too long at all- which! could possibly be something that annoys you as once again, it could come off as him seeming too nonchalant or unintentionally dismissive. Or well. the things he charges into might have to be something you talk him out of. You're gonna hear shit like this on the regular and he's gonna wonder why youre staring at him funny

Another flaw is his sin i supposeeeeee but i'd rather not just dumb him down to guy who eats a lot cant stop eating food food food yknow -w- but well yknow. just how much WOULD his sin get in the way of things, bcuz it seems to consume him in a way thats wayyyy more intense than any of the other brothers sins interestingly enough

You'd have to deal with Belphie by extension too since they LOVE having the twins as a set that simply cannot be separated...... That also means having to always be dealing with Beel babying Belphie even though that man is very well GROWN. -100 EXP

he's crazy for saying this kinda thing all casual like also. do that in private man ☝🏿

Belphie: Sorry I have to bring it up again even tho i know ppl are dead tired of hearing about but i STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL think there shouldve been an actual proper talk and the appropriate amount of time given abt the killing instead of them moving right past it and MC being like 'it was just a lil oopsie we all have our bad days teehee ^-^'. if i got into a relationship with someone that tried and SUCCEEDED in killing me in this little magicverse i'd be like um. can we idk. talk about this in depth. You're not gonna kill me again in the future somehow right. Right?

Also I see and understand people saying that quality time, words of affirmation and acts of service are very clearly things Belphie likes since he's constantly asking to be around you/hear our opinions on things and ask if you need help with things (even tho he can be kinda lousy at helping out honestly -_-) but he also has a problem with demanding things of the player.. not quite in the same way as Lucifer, but it's close. Like if I do not want you to head over to my room to sleep together (literal sleeping) then why are you inviting yourself over? 🗣️📣📣📣📣LISTEN TO MEEEEEEE & STAY IN YA ROOM❗ ❗ ❗❗

He's a spoiled brat also! Like actual brat! Youngest syndrome is so very real with him, so if you're alright with being the main. well. person that has to do nearly everything then good'onya. I cannot imagine getting this dude dressed AND lugging this dude to classes all bcuz he wants to sleep in a little more ☝🏿 GET UP but if youre into being the main caregiver then shrugs

-10 MILLION POINTS DEDUCTED for being funnier than me also. thats a mistake no one should ever make ☝🏿

DIAVOLO: well. you see. so. there's. well. so um.

I do think he has a bittttt of an issue with choosing to completely overlook things. Diavolo is on a very thin line to me as a character bcuz I do think he is silly and fun at times and not 'AS' quick to read the room... and really is just essentially like... experiencing things for the first time and causing unintentional chaos because he's been so tied to his duties all his life but he's also like? Still very grown, smart and capable of quiet observation of others. (gestures to NB currently)

I feel like he would be analyzing you all the time whether you realize it or not (for good or bad). He's just a lot more observant about things than you realize so while he WOULD use this for good to spoil you he would probably be reading into you as a person way too much. But in a lowkey manner. Not manipulatively per se just,,, I think you are still mainly like an intriguing pet to him at times, or something to study and take note of. Like he really just does whatever the hell he wants for his own pleasure. He made an entire fake beach and sun just cuz he wanted a beach day yknow what the hell. I get it but how did he do that. What other powers do you have

Impressing you could come off as belitting you unintentionally (not always but sometimes). OKAY WALK WITH ME HERE- for example. That one scene from Ouran High School when Tamaki is making a big show of trying 'commoners coffee'. I know what youre saying ur sayin 'But Carly that sounds more like something Mephisto would do' nonono I shake my head. Mephisto is not going to make a show of trying it he'll just outright be recommending YOU a specially made blend of his tastes to put YOU onto better things FIRST. Diavolo's DIVING IN first though. Dia would absolutely think it's some great big fun adventure to try 'normal' human world tea or coffee and comment on it. But like, if i was sitting across from this big hulking guy complimenting tea I drink normally in a 'Wow, so this is what humans drink. How inspiring.' I'd want to shake him since it unintentionally sounds like im being belittled -_-. Give me back my damn instant blend! ❗ ❗ He's thinking he's bonding with you and trying something from your culture (which yes he is), but does it warrant such grand showboating and amazement. It's just tea man. Just silently enjoy a cuppa instead of patting yourself on the back for being brave enough to try human tea </3

Or. Or. demanding your time on his schedule at the wrong times. He's The Prince why wouldn't you wanna drop everything and have dinner with him. 'Oh,,, you're busy 👉👈 oh what a shame.👉👈 we (Barbatos) prepared a nice lovely dinner! 👉👈 However, I suppose its quite alright if you do what you need to do. 👉👈 Eating alone tonight, be safe 👉👈' And then he sends a picture of the meal with eye emojis, do you get what im putting down

One big flop for certain tho is him always being oh so busy. Like sit there and really imagine it. Dating a royal is already something but a Prince? Soon to be King? thats a lot of responsibility to juggle I know it'd get crazy balancing attention and schedules.

Also lets be real yall he's so used to being babied quite a bit, mainly by Barbatos. Barbatos is tough on him at times for his own good sure but he more-so spoils him still (hypocrite that he is!). are you ready to unintentionally be compared to that in terms of being able to care for Diavolo. Barbatos won't technically be competing with you either but as his main caregiver he'll still be inserting a lot of himself between the two of you. Also, that man is lowkey needy and has some lingering childhood issues you will have to be very careful with talking abt and comforting him for once he gets to a point to actually open up about it- so be mindful of these things

Also he's insane. But if you're into insanity it's probably whatever.

BARBATOS: I know I am '''''''''barbatos ceo''''''''' so i have been very very very delusional about him but aside from being so very 'malewifecore' i'd place him on a scale of 1 -10 at a 8.5 (1 being worst mostl likely to flop partner ever, 10 being best). Looking at his character he's very much set on keeping a very decent distance between him and the player for quite some time so i think dating wise there's just so many things he'd never properly open up about. Or it'd take so very impossibly long.

I remember reading his wiki one day and seeing this ^ (which btw theres a lot going on there.) so I feel like, even if he did really like you, he would most definitely always prioritize his work to the royal family first so.... he might potentially? be on the fence about further pursuing things with you even at one point??? Not to say that he isn't caring and attentive but I think he would greatly struggle with balancing his openness and affection towards you. And we must keep in mind that just like Mammon he ALSO has the Greed sin. He is a lot less likely to show it around others but he is very secretly possessive and makes it known occasionally so if you have problems with that it'd be interesting finding a balance with him. Secretly he 'will he or wont he' dude internally. But yea I've always thought it's so interesting that he'd say he just gives up. Makes you wonder and think more... but yet he wants to be bound by his lover. Very conflicting right? Which explains his struggles with desires and duty very well!

More on his duties though he's gonna overwork himself like crazy and it would be so tricky making plans or spending time together. Also he lowkey has insecurities about ONLY being tied to the butler role, much like how Leviathan will always bring up being a shut in. Like you are more than that cmon -_- youre gonna make MC feel bad! He must still be reassured a fair amount!

Something is also terribly wrong with him. but if you are insane like me you find that fun. Like oh he's tortured people? God forbid women do anything in this economy 🙄

Actual in person dating though <- she would be perplexed by his mysterious unnerving ways

SIMEON: Simeon definitely high on the scale of being a good partner so he's A LOT less likely to flop on this list. BUT, he definitely seems to hold back on sharing his opinions or opening up about certain things with himself quite a bit. 😮 And I feel like he might be the type to try and keep the mood content and peaceful so it would be a bit hard to talk about the unpleasant things. He CAN talk about unpleasant things, dont get me wrong, but I get the feeling he'd be good at dodging certain things and saying what you feel like should be said. Especially if he isn't particularly ready to talk about something YET. Big emphasis on the YET. I imagine as his partner, if you are aware that he's constantly being a bit dodgy about certain topics constantly you would feel some way about it since it's easy to recognize when he's doing it. This isn't to say he's manipulative or a dishonest character, but I find that it would take a long time to really get to his core even if things are genuinely sweet and easygoing between you two.

Also its a genuine pet-peeve for some people to deal with others that arent all that tech savvy? If you show him a meme on your phone he's gonna grab the whole thing, not get it at all, say 'who is this?' in confusion, try to zoom in and when he taps the screen it's gonna switch to a different picture/app and he'll be like 'What happened to it :(' which I think is hilarious and cute; but once again, could be something that genuinely annoys ppl, and annoyances over little quirks DO build up over time! Still adore him tho mwah

SOLOMON: Something is wrong with him. 🚶🏿‍♀️ That's his flaw. 🚶🏿‍♀️ Like something is just deeply wrong with him and he's way too casual about it. 🚶🏿‍♀️ He's literally that post where it's like 'yea something happened to your boyfriend and he came back all wrong. yea. sorry. we don't know what happened.'

If you're the type that stresses about things or worries a lot or finds that very easy-going people annoy you then well... Solomon will annoy you.

Im not saying he's not going to be attentive to you because he's shown to be very active and forward in a lot of ways, but I'm talking more along the lines of unintentionally dismissing things. Like for me personally I need a bit of guidance and structure and direction and if I don't see that I will be forced to take the lead. Just depends on how you are as a person really!

Let's get the most obvious thing out of the way though he can never cook you a fancy meal. Not everyone can cook we all have our different strengths that is for certain but if you don't tell him straight up, or constantly You're Going To Have To Eat His Food.

He may or may not be the reason you constantly get into situations also, in between Levi's games and Diavolo's chaos, Solomon is pretty much the main reason so many situations happen in events!? fhskfs I think that would increase in dating him even if he does actually do his best to look out for you in his own way.

But he's also like. Just a guy to me. Which is crazy because besides the mental illness + genuinely being playful with the MC, there is surprisingly a lot to him that is just. not touched on writing wise. or not explored. so I can admit there are other things that aren't coming to mind really. He's just there to me.

Apparently he's very forgetful with important dates also so if thats something that bothers you then well </3

MEPHY: of course in comparison to the others we do not know AS much abt Mephisto but looking a mile away you know his elitism is his main flaw. He would be very uppity with you and not realize whats wrong with that per se, even though he's so quick to call out the rudeness or impoliteness of others

his main flop is that he's going to be dramatic as hell at some point whether intentionally or not. he is definitely the guy to tell you he's fine while he's visibly shaking fists clenched trying to act unbothered when he really wants to complain to someone. He may very well go running to Satan or Dia for advice regarding the two of you if he really needs a second opinion without directly consulting you. So yes, those guys will also be privy to your business by extension. I know Belphie's also in the anti-luci league but can we really count on him for advice when Satan is most definitely the more dependable choice? anyways

Mephisto is also literally the image of the boyfriend walking with his girlfriend looking back at another girl. But the other girl is Dia. He's looking back at Dia sorry... that's his childhood buddy. He's so obsessed with that guy.............. You're gonna hear him going woe is me a lot over losing his buddy to his duties and the Prince always having his attention on Luci.... it just is what it is :/ Me personally also I just feel like I would get into mini arguments with him a lot. he is my rival and my bestie in my mind that I want to strangle whenever he opens his mouth

Like he is a BRAGGER by nature. And if you do not like people that brag about the littlest things he is going to get on your nerves. And since he also seems to come from a royal/rich background he is most definitely spoiled and parades through life with the expectation that others will treat him with appropriate amounts of respect. And due to his riches he could indirectly insult you at some point no matter what your financial status is, he may unintentionally make a comment that's in poor taste. Like if you take him to your favorite hole in the wall restaurant for a chill date he's going to say things even if he doesn't actually mean to come off as prudish.

He'd make an effort at least if youre getting him to try new things and he's not necessarily THAT uptight. He gets involved with things and has fun still!.... sometimes! But in reference to what I mentioned about Dia earlier with the whole commoners coffee thing this is another example to compare. Dia trying a burger for the first time would be like: "Ah! So this is what it's like to enjoy something this simple. The taste is rather interesting but I quite like it! Perhaps I will ask Barbatos if he can add this homestyle method to our regular menu :D" Whereas Meph is taking bites with his knife and fork like: "Hm. They really ought to improve the production cost and quality for these things. Oh, No I never said i disliked it, I'm merely making a note of something. Not bad though."

RAPHAEL: once again in comparison to the others we do not know AS much about him compared to the 'main' group. so im going off the little that i have witnessed in game and trying my hardest not to confuse that with fanposts but... He's so terribly blunt and unaware of things. He's a bit similar to Beel in that regard that he dives first into things and seems rather uncaring or dismissive about something due to his bluntness. But he's like BLUNT blunt, like blunt to the max even. Like this is crazy to me. how is it that LUCIFER is saying you're too much for him.

So he would most definitely struggle with being way too blunt towards YOU... it would take awhile for him to ease up on that I believe.

I'll be honest he kinda just. Sits there quietly really. I imagine trying to talk to him can feel a little bit like dealing with a brick wall, because I think it would be hard to understand what's going on in his mind at times, not to mention being tied down with his strictness.

And not to mention his sense of justice and penchant for casually mentioning violence seems to completely overpower him at the flip of a switch. I mean if you're cool with him threatening to use his spear on people that annoy you then so be it.

I don't know really, he's just so neurodivergent to me so i cant really call him a flop for that he just exhibits so many of those traits, it's just something you'd have to work on with him or get accustomed to

-ONE BILLION TRILLION POINTS DEDUCTED FOR LIKING SOLOMONS FOOD THO 100000000000000 EXP

THIRTEEN: once again in comparison to the others we do not know AS much about her compared to the 'main' group.

but she is most def on the LEAST likely to flop at dating you end of the list, cuz she quite LITERALLY is upfront about liking the player a lot more quickly than the others. she's literally so cute and just minds her business until OTHER people bother her peace. She does have tsundere-like qualities sure, but if you're direct with her she does eventually come around to expressing why she does what she does. And I don't think she would ever mess with the length of your lifespan just bcuz the two of you have a little disagreement or something. To someone else though for fun, sure:

that aside tho i can't particularly point out any major flaws in the moment i love her so bad. someone would have to sell me on it, but also why arent you supporting womens wrongs hm? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

[kbandtrash]

Okay lol let’s get some fluffy day6 thoughts going because for the 25th valentine’s day in a row I am single :D quarter of a century strong let’s go

Going in age reverse order because I love park sungjin too much to put him first. Best for last baby

Dowoon turns into Clifford the big red dog when you present him with your valentine’s confession treat of choice. Blushing incoherent mess like there are words coming out of his mouth but he’s so happy they’re unintelligible. He asks “this is really for me?” (there is no one else around) and all you hear after that is his excited giggles and that Busan satoori bobbing up and down, and you’re pretty sure he’s telling you he’s liked you for a long time and he can’t believe this is real life, but then out of nowhere he has your gift in one hand and your hand in the other, barely meeting your eyes, and he’s asking you in the sincerest deepest shiest voice possible if that means this is day one

Wonpil takes a minute to form his response but while he does it he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, hiding his smile behind his hands, finding it hard to even look at you because you just look so dang cute. He finally breaks his silence to tell you exactly that with a grin so wide his cheeks are hurting and he’s afraid his face will freeze like that. He asks if he can hug you and it’s impossible to tell him no and then he holds you so tight you can hardly breathe but he’s just so excited to find out that his crush isn’t one sided that he can’t hold back his affection

Younghyun is floored. He doesn’t even realize he’s coming off as if he doesn’t like you and doesn’t know how to say it—he’s genuinely just surprised because how could he, a master of love songs, not have seen this coming? He meets your eyes, his mouth still hanging open as you awkwardly let your arms drop from offering him your gift, and as he sees you become flustered, he realizes that you think he’s rejecting you. So he stops you by grabbing your hands and asks if you mean it, this isn’t a prank? And the way his smile lights up his entire countenance makes up for his awkward initial reaction

Park Sungjin this silly man. He thinks you’re being friendly. Because he’s just a guy like how could he be the object of your affections? Even when you explain to him that no, you mean it, you like him, you would like to date him, even, he has to sit down for a moment and just say “oh wow!” because he’s not quite used to being Perceived like that. He likes going through life and making connections with people and more than once he’s thought he might like to experience life by your side, and now that the idea of holding your hand could become a reality, well, it’s just a little strange to him. He needs a little more time to think, but it’s not because he’s not sure his answer won’t be yes. He knows it’s yes already, and from the way he looks at you when he tells you this, you know it is too

[cliffs-sniperrifle]

Kojima's perception of big boss and clifford unger: the relationship between mother and son

Where best to start than with big boss. The catalyst for big boss becoming the man he was, was none other than his only figure, his 'mother' the boss being killed by his own hands. From then on in the serious, he takes a serious change in character that leaves him spiraling until his mother’s grave is the only place to feel loved.

Kojima decides that one of the many ways to show big boss's attachment to the boss is having him carve out that same c-section scar that she had. We already know of its importance of the scar from the boss as she had explained America already had taken everything from her, including her son, so there was nothing left for her to do except give her life (hence leaving john to take it) it's an interesting choice that big boss decides to take that scar from her and put it on himself, the exact same pattern of the botched c-section (like a snake). Later we find out that eva had volunteered to have big boss's children through his cells and using her as an incubator.

Now talking about Cliff. While Cliff was married to Lisa who had gotten pregnant around the time of the first death stranding happening, she got into a fatal car crash that essentially left her braindead and in a coma. The child was able to be saved and put into the BB program, incubated while Cliff constantly visited BB and Lisa in the hospital room. From then on Cliff was thrown into a role of both mother and father, sharing stories of his life and talking to Lisa in front of BB. But when it was found out that the BB program was going to take BB from Cliff and never giving it the chance to be born, Cliff, even after death vowed to set his child free.

The moment Cliff and BB were killed, set off a chain of events, but most importantly changes that effect how both Sam and Cliff are perceived. They both ended up being shot right in the abdomen, connecting them not only as father and son, but through death as a string.

But dare I even say connected as mother and unborn child. I say this because of the constant parallels put in the game. Kojima describing Cliffs cords as umbilical cords as well as holding a misconstrued version of his BB whenever he shows up as a BT ghost. Sam swimming in the waters of the beach every time he 'dies', flaoting like a baby in the womb. Connected by other BTs by cords adjacent to umbilical cords. It's hard to just see these things being put in as a coincidence when this can be heavily interpreted as a relationship between a pregnant mother and her baby, even sam shows this behavior passed down with him and Lou. Connecting with her through the cord hooked up (umbilical cord) viewing his memories through her. Being possessive when people try and take her from him or even being separated for too long. That C-section like scar that he shares with Cliff. And what tops it off is how the typical mothers in both of these relationships are never shown. Lisa was already in a coma when we see her and Lucy has been dead before the game even started. They are important figures in Sam and Cliff's relationship but aren't important to focus on them being mothers, rather than mother imagery and symbolism being used on Sam and Cliff instead.

C-section like scars for reference:

I just find it extremely interesting that Kojima has now TWICE used this imagery for important male figures in his games that tie down to deeper symbolism than at first glance, just viewing it as "coincidental" scars in the same places but not really understanding the purpose and place of the scars.

Big boss has the scar to symbolize his deep unhealthy attachment to the boss and his twisted vision of who and what she stood for. He carries her to her own grave, his love for her was never surpassed by anyone else.

Cliff's scar is not only there as a reminder of how he and Sam are connected by amelie and john (by proxy) but that deep connection that exists between a pregnant mother and that unborn child.