#max phillips

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Your Vampire: Chapter Five

I Could Have Danced All Night

(Max Phillips x f!reader)

Words: 1, 406

Summary: stuff happens in this chapter, some of it good

Warnings: a whole bunch of cute wholesome fluffiness here, no y/n, reader has nickname Garland, references to musicals

Check out masterlist here

Music was playing throughout the house. Max had his playlist, Songs to Dance to, playing and it started its next song. He specially picked songs that made it impossible not to dance to. It was something he did when he was alone. He detested karaoke but he couldn’t help but sing along.

“Someone’s head restin’ on my knee; warm and tender as he can be. Who takes good care of me; oh wouldn’t it be loverly?”

He stopped when he saw you standing there watching.

“Loverly,” you said.

“Loverly,” he replied.

“Having fun there?” you asked with an amused tone.

He straightened his jacket, “Like you haven’t felt like breaking into a dance number. You ever feel like pulling an Audrey Hepburn and doing a Bohemian dance?”

“Not with my clumsy feet.”

He looked down at your feet, “They don’t look clumsy to me.”

You realised that you were tapping your feet. They had no choice with the music that was playing. Max held out his hand, “Care to be the Rogers to my Astaire?”

Needing a distraction, you took his hand.

As soon as you did, the music changed. It felt like the rest of the world had melted away, leaving you two as the only two left on Earth.  You were only rocking side to side, but it felt like waltzing.

I’m singin’ in the rain, just singin’ in the rain.

What a glorious feeling, I’m happy again.

The harsh tone of your phone suddenly broke you out of your revelry. You quickly stepped away from the dream of dancing and looked in nervous anticipation at your phone.

“You okay Garland?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just waiting to hear back from my doctors. See if I’m in the clear or not.”

“I could have saved you the trouble.”

“You can tell my medical history from tasting my blood?”

He straightened his tie, “Not your entire history, but I should be able to tell if you’re in the clear.”

“That would be useful, but I’d feel bad putting my doctors out of a job.”

“That’s fair. Also, I wouldn’t want them to know I’m a vampire.”

“Afraid they’ll experiment on you?”

“The only experiments I like are sexual ones.”

You shook your head in amusement as you and Max left for work.

As you quickly got your lunch from the staff fridge, you saw Jacob approaching you in the break room.

“Are you still staying with Max Phillips?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Him, of all people?”

“Why do you care? You moved on.” And you moved out of the break room. But Jacob continued to follow.

“He’s a vampire you know?”

“Yes, I’ve known he’s a vampire for a while. And he treats me like an actual person.”

“You know he only made up that false position because he wants to sleep with you?”

“Actually,” said Max emerging from the shadows. “I created this actual position because she’s actually good at her job as I value her as an actual hard-working person.”

Fearing having his throat ripped out, Jacob left as soon as he could. Max turned to you.

“I said actually too many times, didn’t I?”

You nodded as you put your lunch on your desk and took out your sandwich, “Someone’s taken a bite out of my sandwich again,” and you put it aside.

“I could check the tapes, see who’s stealing food.”

“Tapes? You have tapes?”

“Well, it’s a hardrive with multiple copies but yeah, pretty much.”

You made a noise of surprise but not surprise because it’s Max, “In better news, I’m in the clear.”

“That’s great, we should celebrate.”

“You want to celebrate?”

“Of course I do. Being in the clear is cause for celebration.”

The comment hit you like a refreshing splash of water. All you could do was shrug.

“Hey,” said Max. “I could finally take you to the theatre! I can see what’s on.”

 “Oh no,” you interrupted. “I don’t have to do anything fancy. Maybe we could see a movie?”

“Dinner and a movie? It’s a date Garland.”

He didn’t realise the slip-up, but you did.

*****

The car pulled up outside of a small cinema. The Sound of Music blazed across the front.

“I should have brought a change of clothes. I probably smell.”

“No, you smell of roses,” he opened the door. “After you.”

You had a look around and noticed that very few were attending the screening. “I think we’re the only two here.”

“Oh really? Guess no one wants to see this.”

“But it’s The Sound of Music. How can anyone say no to Julie Andrews.”

“Guess they’ll have to wait until the next screening. This one is booked out.”

“What?”

“Popcorn? I’ll go get you some popcorn.”

He avoided looking at you when he handed you the box.

“Max is this a date?” you don’t know why you asked that.

He paused, “Do you want it to be a date?”

You paused, “Maybe. I don’t know.” You quickly put popcorn in your mouth to avoid the subject and thankfully the film started.

The good thing about being the only two people in the theatre was that you could sing along to your hearts content. The only one who threw popcorn for Max’s loud singing was you.

When Maria and Captain Von Trapp danced together, Max got up and held out his hand to like he did earlier in the day. Feeling slightly bold, you agreed to it. Although the two of you had never danced together, your bodies moved together as if you had been dancing for eternity. This must have been what the two characters on screen felt like. This was the second time you had danced with someone. Both those times happened to be with Max Phillips.

It was a picturesque night out at the pictures. It would have been the perfect date if it wasn’t a date.

He opened the front door for you, “Well, I need to get my beauty sleep,” you said.

“I hope I’m not too presumptuous, but you don’t need any beauty sleep.”

“What a nice compliment,” but the sarcasm was obvious in your tone.

“Hey,” you turned around. ‘I just want to take another look at you.”

If only the following day was as practically perfect in every way.

*****

It started off with your clearly labelled lunch box being missing from the staff fridge. This was a step up from the small nibbles happening all week. The culprit revealed themselves when you trudged back to your office.

“Oh, sorry,” Cidnee tried to hide the evidence. “I just get so hungry, and your lunch always smells so good.”

“I bet.”

And I’m eating for two you know. I’m in my second trimester now.”

“What? How can that be when?” The realisation hit you like a wave, and you tried to not get caught in the waves and dragged into the tides which held nothing but anger and rage.

Max gently dragged you away from the waters of anger and led you into his office.

“Was it obvious? Those two?” you asked.

“It was.”

“I’m an idiot,” you collapsed into a chair. “I bet everyone knew and I’m a stupid idiot who was the only one who didn’t notice.”

“No, everyone else is an idiot. If they spent half the energy you did, then we’d have a functioning office. They put more effort into making excuses.”

“And then she steals my food! She steals my asshole ex and then steals my lunch! I will kill them both!”

“Look, Garland, I’m sending you home, you’re having a half day.”

*****

Max came home to silence. He noticed you were sitting on the couch. You had probably been stewing in angry thoughts for several hours. As soon as you saw him come into the room, you stood up to face him.

“Max,” he was dreading this conversation. “You knew this whole time, didn’t you? You have tapes of them?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to be responsible for some stupid reason. Then you got sick, and I hoped he’d man up and do the right thing.”

“You’ve still had all this time to say something.”

“I’m a coward. I’m a coward who hides behind this asshole exterior. I’m just a coward who loves you.”

“As your…” you started.

“No, I love you!” he exclaimed. “I’ve always loved you. And you’re my soulmate.”

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Lovingly tagging @chaithetics @cevans-is-classic @galaxyedging @letsgobarbs @peepawispunk @missladym1981 @kirsteng42 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @ericamarie093 @yorksgirl @popcornforone @allthe-ships @clowncummiess @permanentlydizzy @readingiskeepingmegoing @elegantduckturtle

[lokischocolatefountain]

Pedro Pascal choosing roles

[papitopascal]

[pedrorascal]

It's the most wonderful time of the year 🎃👻🧛

[perotovar]

Uh, I'm the head of HR, so it's highly inappropriate for me to discuss this—

PEDRO PASCAL as MAX PHILLIPS Bloodsucking Bastards (2015) dir. Brian O'Connell

[missladym1981]

The Many faces of Pedro Pascal. 58 characters he has played through stage screen and television. A 6 month project just for fun. Have a lovely day.

[absurdthirst]

Kinktober 2024

All days will be completed with various characters. The Mandalorian, Ezra (Prospect), Frankie Morales, Javier Peña, Agent Whiskey, Pero Tovar, Oberyn Martell, Marcus Pike, Dave York, Max Phillips, Max Lord, Marcus Moreno, Zach Wellison, Dieter Bravo, Javi Gutierrez, Joel Miller, Tim Rockford, Marcus Acacius

** All prompts will be completed as Female Reader

Kinktober List Here

Day 1: Handjob - Marcus Acacius

Day 2: Double Penetration - Oberyn Martell & Marcus Acacius

Day 3: Sixty-nine - Frankie Morales

Day 4: Watersports - Dieter Bravo

Day 5: Rough Sex - Ezra

Day 6: A/B/O Heats or Ruts - Pero Tovar

Day 7: Bruising or Bitemarks - Agent Whiskey

Day 8: Cock Warming - Javier Peña

Day 9: Anal - Marcus Moreno

Day 10: Overstimulation - Dave York

Day 11: Shaving - Joel Miller

Day 12: Breath Play - Max Phillips

Day 13: Pregnancy - Javi Gutierrez

Day 14: Gangbang - Max Lord

Day 15: Glory Hole - Mando

Day 16: Cock Worship - Zach Wellison

Day 17: Period Sex - Max Phillips

Day 18: Foot Fettish - Tim Rockford

Day 19: Fisting - Frankie Morales

Day 20: Infidelity or Cuckolding - Oberyn Martell

Day 21: Monsterfucking - Marcus Acacius

Day 22: Deepthroating - Dieter Bravo

Day 23: Breeding - Javi Gutierrez

Day 24: Somnophilia - Marcus Pike

Day 25: Non Con or Dub Con - Dave York

Day 26: Pegging - Agent Whiskey

Day 27: Hate Fucking or Angry Sex - Ezra

Day 28: Phone Sex - Marcus Moreno

Day 29: Hunter/Prey - Pero Tovar

Day 30: Sex Pollen - Joel Miller

Day 31: Free For All - Mando

[bruhlpng]

Pedro Pascal as Max Phillips Bloodsucking Bastards (2015) // dir. Brian James O'Connell

[softiedingo]

[ericamarie093]

The smirk that drives me crazy, plus his outfit and hair!

[peepawispunk]

Pedro Character sex headcanons Part 2

Part 1 here

My masterlist

Max Phillips has always loved using his mouth, even before he was turned into a vampire. Not just on a cunt, but everywhere. Now? It's intoxicating. He can taste the sunshine on your skin. Can smell the arousal, the release of oxytocin and dopamine in your blood when he touches you. He makes a study of you, cataloguing how to make your blood taste the best. He spends as much time as he can touching you, kissing you, talking you through it. The payoff is worth the build up - like slow cooking a meal on a cold winter's day. Making you come until you're lax, body flooded with satisfaction. Then, and only then, does he bite you. He never takes too much from you, savouring the richness of you on his tongue with slow, deep pulls. These few mouthfuls could sustain him for a week at least. But you'll beg him to do it again tomorrow.

Ezra never shuts up, so it's no surprise that he likes to talk you through it. He makes a game of it; teasing you all day with innuendoes and offhand comments.

He's got clever hands and he uses them well, confident and competent as he tweaks your nipples, manhandles your hips to tilt them just right, and circles your clit.

"Birdie, look at this precious little gem. Look how she sparkles for me." He breathes in awe, pulling the hood of your clit back to expose the pearl within.

He talks you through your first orgasm before he even presses himself inside of you. What surprises you the most though, is what happens when he gets close to his peak. Losing all ability to speak, like he didn't have the most extensive vocabulary you've ever seen. He devolves into whimpers and whines and guttural moans as you clench around him, and it's finally your turn to talk him through it. It's practically the only time you can get a word in edgewise with him, and you've saved up all of your filthiest thoughts for this moment.

Afterwards, when you're laying side by side, catching your breath, he huffs a surprised laugh, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"I had no idea my little birdie could be so loquacious."

Max Lord is so eager to please you, and he knows just how to do it. He's a well practiced lover - so determined to be good at something and so hungry for praise that he's completely unselfish in the bedroom. He likes to tease you, pressing you down into the mattress, grinding his thick, uncut cock against your cunt, forearms bracketing either side of your head as he claims your mouth.

He rocks against you until you're so wet that it's pooling underneath you, then he feeds your cunt the thick, fat tip of him, smirking at the noises you make.

"Awww, pobrecita. She's trying to suck me in. Needs it so bad, huh?" He teases, loving the way your mouth falls open in a silent moan.

He's all smirks and cockiness until you start praising him, telling him how good it feels, how much you love it, how much you love him. His teasing falters when you praise him, but his patience absolutely shatters when you call him a good boy, brushing the sweaty brown curls out of his eyes. You tell him then that he's so fucking gorgeous as he is, that you're so glad he's stopped wearing that godawful wig.

He's thrusting into you with abandon now, begging you to come. When you contract around him, you tell him "I love you, Maxwell Lorenzano", and he makes a sound like you've gut punched him, flooding your cunt with warmth as he comes.

Don't be fooled by Marcus Pike's soft guy image. He's definitely great at soft, slow sensual fucking, don't get me wrong. But what most people don't know about Marcus is that he likes to take charge. He's a pleasure dom in every way, but he's not necessarily a *soft* one.

He's big on the traffic light system - red, yellow and green, because the kind of play you both like needs firm boundaries and clear communication.

Marcus's favourite way to unwind after a long day of work is to come home, shower, and change into his grey sweatpants and white t shirt. Then, he sits on the couch with a book, one hand in you hair, playing with it and smoothing it down as your mouth keeps him warm.

You take him in your mouth when he's still mostly soft - you love to feel him throb and twitch against your tongue as his hardness grows in your mouth. You're supposed to stay completely still, but you forget sometimes (or maybe you just enjoy the sharp, punishing tug at your hair when you break the rules).

When Marcus has finished today's chapter of his book, he'll start guiding your head, slow and gentle as he fucks your throat. When he finally comes, he pulls you off, checks that you've swallowed like a good girl, and then he sits you on his face, hands digging into your hips as he helps you ride his tongue, nose grinding on your clit.

Jack "Whiskey" Daniels is a cocky motherfucker that knows how to lay some pipe.

He's adventurous and up for almost anything - which makes sense considering he fucked you in the bathroom at the bar the first night you met him.

He's all charming grins and winks around other people, keeping his cool even as he's whispering filth in your ear as he fingers you in the booth you're sharing. His other hand nurses his drink, taking a sip every so often as his eyes scan the bar, making sure no one has noticed what you're both up to.

When you're close, he withdraws his hand completely, sucking his fingers clean and then dropping some cash on the table to cover your tab.

You get as far as the car before you're both out of patience, and he presses your chest up against the far side of the car, furthest from the lights of the bar. He doesn't even bother removing your panties, just flips your skirt up and shoves them aside with one hand, guiding himself inside you with the other as he sets a punishing pace. He murmurs filth into your ear, how you're such a good, dirty girl, taking him so well, how you're so fucking wet it feels like he's already filled you up. Your hands are pressed up against the cool metal of the car, and he covers them with his own, body pressed as close to yours as it can be as he fucks you through your orgasm, pounding against your cervix.

"Fuck, sugar." He pants, lips brushing against your cheek. "Fuck...'m gonna come. Where d'you want it?"

You tell him to fill you up, pressing your ass back against him as best you can, and he sucks a bruising kiss into your shoulder as he shoots hot ropes of cum inside you.

Dieter has a bit of a reputation - for being an easy lay, and for having the biggest dick in Hollywood. By the time you're underneath him though, the size of his dick is the last thing you're thinking about. Sex with Dieter is a spiritual experience - and not just because you're both high.

Dieter is into that tantric, drawn out, fuck all day kind of sex. When he takes his time, he really takes his time. He starts out by giving you a massage - both of you naked in his huge bed - and he's fucking good at it too. His hands are big and strong, and work your knots out like he works the clay he sculpts with, until you're melting into the mattress. Then he rolls you over, using both his hands to massage your pussy until you've made a mess of both of you - Dieter loves to make you squirt.

So yeah, by the time he's notching himself at your pussy and pressing inside of you, you've forgotten just how much of him there is to take. Your breathing falters as he pushes in and it just keeps coming, thick and long and stretching you out like no one ever has before or will again, because how could you be with anyone else after seeing what sex *should* be like?

"That's it, baby. Open up for daddy." He praises, thumbing at your nipple as he finally slides home, tip kissing your cervix. "So fucking wet, you like this dick, huh? Yeah, you love it." He's smug and smirking as you writhe underneath him, begging him to *move already*.

Oberyn loves sex in all its forms, group sex included. He's always been great at sharing, firmly of the belief that pleasure shared amongst others is multiplied. The first time he takes you to his bed though, he decides that this is one thing that he will not share. One thing he will keep for himself and himself alone. He lays claim to you in a way he's never done before with a lover; by putting the seal of his house on a pendant you will wear around your neck, always. When he presents it to you, the gold pendant on a delicate gold chain, bearing the symbol of his house, he asks you to be his.

He will never marry, but this is as close as he will ever come to such a commitment. When you accept his claim, he's filled with such euphoria that you don't leave his room for days.

He stands behind you, fastening the clasp and letting the necklace settle on your collarbone. Then, he's planting kisses along your shoulders and up your neck as his hands snake down to grab your hips, pulling you back against him so you can feel his desire for you.

He parts your folds and finds you slick and sensitive, responsive and making the sweetest sounds for him as he coaxes your pearl to full attention, pinching it between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it and making you gasp.

When you beg him to stop teasing, he bends you over the side of the bed, dropping to his knees and licking your sweet cunt from behind, parting your cheeks to see it glisten as it drips down your thighs. He chases it with his tongue, not wanting a drop of the sweet nectar to go to waste.

"Look at you" he growls, slapping your ass before spreading your cheeks again. "Pussy so delectable it brings a Prince to his knees."

When you finish, he leads you to his favourite armchair, sitting down and bringing you into his lap. "Show me how you ride a cock," he guides you onto his hard length. "There's my good girl. Fuck, you have the tightest cunt in Westeros." He praises, rocking you in his lap. "Going to fill you up with my seed every day until it takes. Then I'm going to keep filling you just for the pleasure of it."

[daddy-dins-girl]

Pedro Boys tasked with buying your period products.

Someone sent an ask about Pedro boys dealing with their girl on their period... Not sure if this is what you had in mind but I hope you enjoy it regardless :)

Also, this is just for silly fun, don't @ me too harshly in the comments please if you don't agree with some of these, but DEFINITELY feel free to tell me where and why your opinion might differ on some of these choices, I'd love to hear it.

like this post? check out my Pedro Boys Alignment Chart Masterlist here

Headcanons under the cut.

Din/Tim/Dave/Ortega/Clint/Max L - Din is mostly just too shy/embarrassed to ask for help, the rest of these guys are too stubborn, too busy and/or aren't terribly comfortable standing around in this aisle any longer than they have to be.

Ezra/Jack - They're just genuinely confused as to why there are so many varieties. Maybe you WILL be playing tennis tomorrow like this girl in the picture on the box, how tf are they supposed to know? Jack's also a bit of a himbo but it's okay, he's pretty.

Marcus M/Oberyn/Frankie/Marcus P/Joel/Javi P - Some of these boys are 'girl dads' and just know the drill by now. Some are just great husbands (or husband material) who pay attention and some, well... some of these boys just know your p*ssy better than you do and that's all there is to it.

Javi G/Eddie/Zach W - They're sweet, and they're trying. They just wanna be good boyfriends. God bless these boys.

Dieter/Pero/Max P/Lucien - Dieter thought it was an honest question. The rest of these guys are just complete menaces (and honestly, we love them for it).

[jessthebaker]

I love the banter between these two. Casual, easy, straight to the point. (Get it, point, heh?) 😈 ♥️

Your Vampire: Chapter Two

I Feel Pretty

(Max Phillips x f!reader)

Words: 1, 341

Summary: Max Phillips, your friend and boss, is surprised to find out you know he’s a vampire

Warnings: a whole lot of vampire lore in this chapter, no y/n, reader has nickname Garland, Max in a state of undress

Check out masterlist here

“How do you know so much about vampire lore?”

“It’s called reading.”

Sitting across from you on his luxurious couch while talking about being a vampire was not something Max was expecting today.

When he opened his luxury coffin from the floor in his basement, he was surprised to find you standing there. He was more surprised you didn’t run off screaming or fainting dead away. You stood there very calmly for one confronted with a vampire.

“So, I’m a vampire.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I-wait, you do?”

You shrugged, “It wasn’t that hard to work out.”

He made his way out of the coffin, “Brains and beauty; always knew there was a reason to love you. As my executive assistant.”

“Hey, everyone else is too dumb to notice.”

“Huh,” he closed the door in the floor. “You’re not scared I’ll kill you or something?”

You looked at him in his dark red silk pyjamas, “If you were going to kill me, you would have done it by now.”

“Good point,” he suddenly noticed you were standing in his basement. “Wait, what are you doing down here?”

“I was exploring.”

“You are supposed to be resting,” he gently picked you up like it was nothing. Now you knew that it was due to his being a vampire.

“Now, it’s either the bed or the couch.”

“Actually, I need the bathroom.”

“Fine,” he headed towards the bathroom, you still in his arms.

“Hey, I’m fine to walk the small distance. I don’t need supervision in the bathroom.”

Thanking him as he put you down, it suddenly occurred that you have been festering on the couch for too long. You lifted up an arm and gave yourself a sniff.

“Damn, I need a shower. I must stink!”

“You smell like roses to me.”

Snorting out a laugh, you made your way into the bathroom.

One shower and change of clean clothes later, you poured yourself a bowl of cereal and plopped on the couch. Max came down the spiral staircase now in his suit pants and shirt. He sat opposite you on the couch.

“So, you’re a vampire,” you said after a while.

“Yup.”

“Was that after college?”

“Well, after I was kicked out of our college, I went to this one in Romania. They had a unique approach to learning.”

“They turn all their students into vampires?”

“Not all of them, just their best students like me,” he smiled. “It’s surprisingly hard to turn people into vampires,” you looked at him in confusion. “If you do a normal turn, you’ll end up with a lesser vampire, they’re called ghouls. Well, we’re not allowed to call them ghouls anymore. They formed a union back in…”

“Max, you’re rambling.”

“So a true vampire,” Max continued. “Is one that can pass as a human and they are a lot harder to make.”

“It is? So if I wanted to be a vampire,” you started.

“You want to be a vampire?”

“If I wanted to be a vampire,” you reiterated. “How would I go about it?”

“Well,” he paused and got up. “Do you mind if I get myself something?”

“No, go ahead.”

“Do you want tea? I’ve got Darjeeling or green.”

“Sure,” you watched Max as he wandered about the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge and took out a bag of blood from the now-not secret location. He took out two mugs and filled one with blood and put a tea bag in the other.

“You’d need to get a vampire with at least one hundred years on them. And they would have to be assessed. And you’d have to undergo a medical and psychological assessment. So, there’s a lot of paperwork involved. And I hate paperwork.”

“I know, that’s why I do all your paperwork.”

“That’s why I love you. As my executive assistant,” He put the mug of blood in the microwave and turned on the kettle.

“There is another way to make a true vampire,” The microwave pinged as the kettle whistled

“There is?”

“Yeah, it’s some old vampire legend that says if a vampire finds their blood-mate, they can become a true vampire.” His back was to you, but you could still hear him.

“A blood-mate?”

“It’s like a vampire soul mate.”

“That’s a dumb name.”

“I know.”

“So how do you know you’ve found your vampire soulmate? Are there matching birthmarks?”

“There’s signs I’m sure, but it’s just a legend,” he coughed something that wasn’t stuck in his throat, and handed you a mug. “Wait, wrong one.”

He took back the one in your hand and handed you the right one. After he took a satisfying sip, he continued.  “Anyways, you must be bored with all this vampire stuff.”

“Oh no, I’m very fascinated. I’ve got a million questions for you.”

“Are you going to interview this vampire?”

“Heck yeah.”

“I should have made a PowerPoint,” he mumbled.

“My first question is: do you have a reflection?”

“Of course, I’m not missing out on seeing this gorgeous face in the mirror.”

“Can you turn into a bat?”

“And ruin this suit?”

“Wait, I’ve seen you out in the sun? Would that not hurt you?”

“Oh my dear, you are thinking Nosferatu, not Bram Stoker.” You tilted your head in question. “Sunlight only harms a lesser vampire but merely weakens a true vampire. Midday sun is the worst which is why I avoid it.”

“So no tropical vacations for you?”

“I wouldn’t be sunbathing. You can enjoy the sunshine while I stay in the shade.”

“Taking me on a tropical holiday, are you?”

Max shrugged and put his empty mug on the coffee table. “Why not? You deserve a tropical holiday.”

“I do. And I’ve got some vacation time saved up,” you mused at the thought of. “So, to continue the interview: Can you cross running water?”

“Of course I can.”

“Don’t you need soil or something?”

He paused the knotting of his tie, “How do you know so much about vampire lore?”

“It’s called reading.”

He made a noise that he was impressed. “No, we don’t need our native soil to slumber in. We just need to sleep close to earth during sunlight hours to replenish ourselves. Besides, transportation of soil involves a lot of paperwork.”

You bemoaned his hatred of paperwork and continued, “What about the counting thing?”

“What counting thing?” He started putting on his shoes.

“The one where to stop a vampire, you spread out a bunch of rice or something and the vampire is compelled to count every grain until the sun rises.”

“I have never heard of that one.”

“That’s why The Count on Sesame Street counts everything.”

He popped his head up in surprise, “Are you comparing me to a Muppet?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted.” He got up and started putting on his vest and suit jacket.

“So what about the silver thing?”

“The silver thing?”

“The silver thing in that it repels vampires.”

“Oh, that was just a rumour created by a vampire.”

“It was?”

“Yeah, I think they had stock in silver or something and wanted to make it valuable, so the rumour was created.”

“That’s wild. It’s like those people who created the myth that diamonds are special.”

“They are a girl’s best friend.”

“No, Max, I think you’re my best friend.”

“Really? Me?” He shook his head. “I have to go into the office.”

“Aw,” you whined. “But I have more questions.”

“All in good time, my pretty.”

As he was leaving, he kissed the top of your head. It was such a quick, casual gesture neither of you noticed it until it had passed. There was a delay in the realisation for both of you. Max momentarily forgot where he left his keys, even though they were in its usual place. And then he forgot where he left the front door, but he made it out eventually. You didn’t notice as you just sat on the couch feeling confused but also content.

Lovingly tagging @chaithetics @cevans-is-classic @galaxyedging @letsgobarbs @peepawispunk @missladym1981 @kirsteng42 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @ericamarie093 @yorksgirl @popcornforone @allthe-ships @clowncummiess @ellenmunn

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[brandyllyn]

Frostbite

Max Phillips x f!reader

Summary: By all that was holy in the world, you were going to slap the ever-loving shit out of this man. Words: 1.9k

For the #pedrostoriesgift24 Holiday Gift Exchange. @almostfoxglove asked for:

* max gets reader/character for their office's secret santa (or vice versa) * office christmas party

And y'all know I can't resist Max.

My Masterlist <- So much more Max stuff here y'all. I've missed him.

Rated: Teen Warnings: This is romantic and sweet and I make no apologies for that. Max being Max, however.

If you had to listen to George Michael complain one more time about what happened last Christmas, you were going to cause a scene.

Looking around the room, you took some small solace that no one else seemed to be having a good time either. Derek had taken up a post near the exit, obviously waiting until just enough time had passed that he could make a break for it. Malika was on her third hard cider - if she wasn’t careful she’d be the Monday morning gossip.

And the very next day, you gave it away…

You slip your phone from your pocket as surreptitiously as possible, checking the clock. Not even 6:30, there was still the speech from the CEO, the sales award, and of course the office secret Santa to get through before you could make your escape. They always saved secret Santa for last - everyone marching one by one to open their gift from the table in the center of the room. Showing everyone the mug they had been given.

It was always a mug.

The table looked extra sad this year - filled almost entirely with bags, half of which didn’t even have a festive spray of tissue. It was the laziest possible wrapping job. Nothing more clearly said ‘I put no thought into this’ than a dollar store bag, taped shut.

You had wrapped your gift. An oblong box with a festive red bow. Inside was a designer tie - one you had been lucky to find at a local thrift store. You had no idea if your giftee would like it, he ran so hot and cold you never could tell if he even liked you. Or anybody for that matter.

“Hey there sweet cheeks, looking for me?”

Speak of the devil.

“Never.”

He sidles up next to you, all long limbs and expensive cologne. His suit is perfect; crisp navy blue with a sparkly snowflake tie. As usual he stands too close, forcing you to shift slightly sideways to avoid brushing against him.

“You tease,” he pouts with a puffed out lower lip. “You’re gonna break my heart.”

Max Phillips, rising star of the sales department. Arrogant, conceited asshole and inveterate flirt. He was handsome too, which was honestly just annoying. If someone was going to be that obnoxious, they should at least look like half a roasted ham.

“I have it on good authority you don’t have one,” you point out.

He pats his chest for a moment, giving you a wounded look. “Stacey tell you that? Don’t be jealous, baby.”

“Miranda.”

He has the decency to hesitate, eyes darting across the room before back to you. “Well, someone had to be my shoulder to cry on.” You snort at that and he grins, shifting closer again and almost backing you to the wall. “And don’t worry about them, that’s business.”

You were pretty sure whatever that was you had walked in on in the copy room hadn’t been ‘business’ but you don’t point it out. Miranda hadn’t been the same, something viscerally off about her, ever since.

“You,” he leaned into you and you felt a cubicle wall at your back, “you would be nothing but pleasure wouldn’t you?”

“We are at work.”

“Most couples meet at work.”

“We’re not a couple.”

“We’re not a couple, yet.” He takes a deep breath and frowned. “You don’t take good care of yourself.”

“Excuse you?”

It came out close to a shriek, several heads turning your direction. Max gave them a dazzlingly wide smile and as one they smiled back. Even Richard, the grumpiest at the best of times, blushed. He blushed.

“You’re not eating right.”

By all that was holy in the world, you were going to slap the ever-loving shit out of this man. He wasn’t even looking at you, eyes scanning the room while he talked out of the corner of his mouth. “Dave is doing his speech,” you try to point out but Max gives you his attention long enough to roll his eyes.

“Don’t change the subject, babydoll.”

“What subject?”

Max takes the proverbial shovel you offer. “You’re gaunt. You’re not getting the right vitamins.”

“From the man who has an ‘allergy’ to sunlight.”

The grin he gives you is wolfish. “That’s documented. I have a doctor’s note.” You can’t help the small smile and of course he notices. “There now, was that so hard? I’m being charming all over the place here.”

“Why?”

The word is a hiss of air and he blinks at you, confused. “What do you mean, why?”

“You’ve fucked half the office.” You try very hard to keep your tone too low for anyone else to hear. “Am I keeping you from bingo or something?”

Another one of those deep breaths and he leans in to you, so close you think he might actually nuzzle you. “I like you.”

You snort, turning away.

“I do.” He scans the room again before he turns, blocking your view with his wide shoulders. “Look at me.”

“No.”

“Look at me.”

“I said no.”

There’s silence for several heartbeats before he admits, “You intrigue me.”

“You’re a liar.”

“All the time,” he concedes. “But not right now. There’s something for my people, a knowing of sorts…”

He trails off and you can’t help but ask, “Your people? Wasps?”

“Something like that.”

“Max Phillips!” The call of his name comes from out of the blue.

“Gotta run, sugar tits, duty calls.”

Of course he’s won the sales award. He shakes the CEO’s hand while accepting the plaque, turning and smiling - not pausing for even a moment when he realizes no one is going to take his photo. It doesn’t stop him from playing mayor of the cubicle farm, waving at a few people before stepping to the side. You notice him looking at you and studiously avoid meeting his eyes.

The secret Santa starts and you take a quick tally of how many people participated this year. Even if half the people make a fuss about it, you should be able to leave in fifteen minutes - twenty tops.

Since Max won the award he gets to go first, picking up the box you had carefully wrapped and tearing into it with the gusto of a toddler. He fingers the silk and you swear his eyes dart to where you’re standing. 

There is no way he could know you’d bought it for him. No way.

“Looks like we may have a tie for best present.”

People laugh at his terrible joke and he steps to the side, letting the next person fetch their mug. You try to be surreptitious as you gauge his reaction. Does he like it? Does he think it’s tacky? With one hand he pulls off the one he’s wearing and loops the length of red silk around his collar, deftly tying a full Windsor.

It looks good on him.

Dammit.

Your name is called and you shake yourself out of your stupor, avoiding looking to the side. The present is in a bright orange bag - not even a holiday color - and stapled closed. You reach in and pull out the small bottle.

“Iron supplements.”

There’s a small scattering of applause and you stare at the offending object for so long the new HR lady has to gently move you aside. 

Iron supplements.

Your secret Santa got you fucking iron supplements.

“You don’t look happy.”

The tie you so carefully picked out mocks you. You put thought into his present - and your Santa did what? Clean out their medicine cabinet? You wouldn’t be surprised if the bottle was already open.

No, you were not happy. You were fuming.

“You look pale.”

“Shut up.”

“And you’ve been having headaches lately.”

“How would you know?”

“I told you, you intrigue me.”

Something clicks and you finally look up at him, bottle clenched in your fist. “This was you?”

“You’re anemic.”

He sounds so absurdly reasonable you barely resist the urge to kick him. “You are not my doctor.”

“Do you have a doctor?”

You don’t, not that he needs to know that.

“If you did they might tell you your iron count is dangerously low. You should get checked for an autoimmune disease.”

“I do not have an autoimmune disease.” Derek shoots you a surprised look and you give him a wide smile before jerking Max’s arm and pulling him into a supply closet. “This is not appropriate. On like a hundred levels.”

“Why aren’t you taking care of yourself?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Tell me.”

“Don’t take that tone with me.” You shove a finger into his chest. “You may get other people to leap to your bidding but I’m not one of them.”

“I know,” he grins, “it’s fantastic.”

“Fantastic?” you repeat.

“Fantastic.” He’s faster that you expect, grabbing your wrist and flattening your palm to his chest. “Why aren’t you taking care of yourself?”

He sounds genuinely concerned and you deflate, giving in. “I don’t have the money for fresh food. I’m living off ramen at the moment, okay? I’ll probably develop scurvy soon.”

“We pay you a decent amount - not what you’re worth, of course - but market value.”

You don’t bother asking how he knows that. “My ex took a loan out in my name. I’ve been paying it off.”

“Why isn’t he paying it off?”

“Because he’s an asshole and I can’t make him do anything.”

“Want me to kill him for you?”

It’s said so casually you almost think he means it. “It’s fine. It’s only another year. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re going to get rickets.”

“Isn’t that what Tiny Tim had?”

He nods. “Yes, and you’ll be begging for a Christmas bonus just like he did, too.”

“I think that was his dad.”

“Which one did Kermit play?”

You scoff, trying to pull your hand away from him. “Have you only ever seen the Muppet version of a Christmas Carol?”

He doesn’t let you go. “It’s the only one worth seeing.”

“Max,” you say softly. “I’ll be fine. Thank you, for worrying about me. Even if this-” you hold up the supplements with your other hand “-is by far the worst gift I have ever gotten.”

He gifts you with that wide, easy smile of his. “Let me buy you dinner, to make up for it.”

“Sure you don’t already have a date?”

“I’d cancel any plans for you.” If you didn’t know better you’d say he was serious.

“Big words, don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.”

“I never make a promise I can’t keep.”

He’s standing close, so close your chest brushes his when you take a breath. “Max…”

Tingles shoot to your fingertips as his lips capture yours. A rush of heat floods through you and you can’t help but moan when he sinks his fingers into the back of your neck. The sound he makes is close to a growl, his mouth opening and his tongue is suddenly there, licking at the seam of your lips.

Would it be wrong to climb him like a tree in the supply closet?

He apparently has the same idea, lifting you from underneath your ass with an ease that takes your breath away. Your back is pressed to the wire shelves and his hips settle between your thighs as though he’s always belonged there. Your neck arches into the palm of his hand and he nuzzles beneath your ear.

“Take your damn iron pills.”

“What?”

“Your iron,” his teeth scrape along your jaw, “and maybe a multi-vitamin too.”

You were going to slap him. Just soon as your head stopped spinning from his kiss.

For updates on stories please follow and turn on notifications for @brandyllyn-writes

Tagging in @almostfoxglove once more. Hope you liked your Max.

[aurorawritestoescape]

I’m finally taking part in Tootathon and I’m so excited! Huge thank you to @jolapeno for coming up with such a wholesome and wonderful event! I’ve been seeing and admiring everyone’s posts about their 2024 faves and I’m smooching y’all for the tags😘 @sawymredfox @myownwholewildworld @joelmillerisapunk @milla-frenchy @itwasntimethatdidit40 @mermaidgirl30 @sanarsi @sunshineispunk @evolnoomym @iamasaddie 💖 dividers by @bernardsbendystraws

SERIES

Bad Blood - step uncle Joel Miller x f!reader x stepdad Tommy Miller

Summary: you want your stepdad and your step uncle offers to help.

ONE SHOTS

Always And Forever - Jackson Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel comes home after a hard day on patrol and you comfort him.

Good Girl - Professor Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: you get caught in the rain on your way to Professor Miller’s house and your lesson gets derailed.

Steam - Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: you take a shower with Javi

Table For Three - Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York

Summary: you’re having a great time on your date but a man from your past interrupts it and makes it…better?

His - dark!Joel x f!reader x dark!Tommy x m!OCs

DDDNE NON CON gangbang - Heed the warnings!!

Addicted - Max Phillips x f!reader

Summary: Max gives you everything you need but can you stop when the pleasure gets addictive?

Going Down - Joel Miller x f!reader | Frankie Morales x f!reader

Summary: you have a hot boyfriend and a hot ex who’s still obsessed with you. Why not get the best of both worlds?

ART AND EDITS

Joel Miller - pencil drawing

I saved her - tlou season 2 edit

Joel takes you to dinner - moodboard

FAV FIC MOODBOARDS

I feel like I’ve ‘tooted’ myself pretty hard here😅 Writing and creating have been very therapeutic for me but the highlight of the year was definitely thirsting and yearning with my beautiful moots, connecting with amazing people all over the world, feeling their support, giving them some of my love and just being together on this hellsite. Let me tag you to share your 2024 faves (if you haven’t done it already) and also to tell you how grateful I am to all of you for being kind to me😍 @milla-frenchy @iamasaddie @toxicanonymity @evolnoomym @fruityreads @huskyfox5 @604to647 @thundermartini @sawymredfox @sunshineispunk @magpiepills @sweetlummie @ellasinnombre @joelmillerisapunk @kewwrites @mountainsandmayhem @itwasntimethatdidit40 @bonezone44 @romanarose @ozarkthedog @umnitsa @yxtkiwiyxt @guiltyasdave @morallyinept @axshadows @nervousmumbling @casa-boiardi @corazondebeskar-reads @xdaddysprincessxx @schnarfer @megangovier @tateypots @princessanglophile @nana90azevedo @bubble-pop-eclectic @mermaidgirl30 @tammythr @arcanefox207 if I missed someone pls forgive me💗 I love you all and I’m sending you my warmest hugs and kisses🫂😘 Happy holidays, my loves! I wish you the absolute best in 2025!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[absurdthirst]

When Max Phillips pisses you off, this is the amount of garlic you eat.