#like he talks about queers but he only gives a shit about white gay men. thats it.

[alilaro]

its so funny hbomberguy uploads a video like once every millenia, but when he does he manages to send every person he scrutinizes into oblivion, never to recover

[thestrangestthlng]

Thoughts and prayers rants...

So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.

But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.

Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.

Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.

That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?

At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.

Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.

For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.

You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.

Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.

Again:

We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Why do you insist on infantilizating the characters who were victims of Tommy, who have clearly forgiven and embraced him? Do you think you know better than them? You act as though every Tommy fan is a damn nazi while ignoring the actual POV of the characters of color affected by his actions.

Btw there are absolutely context clues given in the early eps that Tommy could be queer.

Stop acting like you speak for anyone but yourself. There have been a lot of posts by black, queer men, that are pro-Tevan that you seem happy to ignore. If you think Tommy is a racist, unforgivable character, fine. But you can't stop acting like you somehow staked a claim to some moral high ground here when the reality is you wouldn't care at all if he didn't threaten your ship.

oh look guys i pissed them off again by calling them out on their bullshit :) it’s been a while i was wondering when you’d show your (anonymous bc you know people would call you on your shit if you weren’t) faces here

i have never called you people “nazi’s” and think it’s vile that you view being called out on the constant defense of this blatantly racist character as an equivalent to being called a nazi

it’s disgusting behavior to say “oh you think im a nazi if you disagree with me” when you’re being called out and i cannot believe you had the absolute gall to say something like that on my blog

you are not a victim. this is the victim mentality i was talking about.

you say im only threatening by him bc he “threatens my ship” meanwhile the show has not treated him as a serious LI, and has actually taken more time to ignore him/parallel him to buck’s previous failed LI’s than setting him up as a serious contender for edngame w buck. you’re the ones (rightfully) threatened by eddie because he actually had plot armor and has a character that’s not a bunch of stolen headcanons that you’ve all placed on him

you guys love to call it infantilizing poc characters when we, yknow, fairly call out negative behavior but then you get so upset when people make valid criticisms of his character because you know his personality and character have no actual stability within the plot because he has not been developed beyond being racist and being gay

it’s funny that you ignore hen’s standoffish at best attitude towards him simply because you know that if hen was blatantly against him, you would have no leg to stand on because they’re never going to treat him as more important than hen

idk how what “context clues” you’re talking about in early eps regarding tommy being gay, but even if there were, that doesn’t excuse his actions. there has been no narrative development past his early episodes portrayal aside from them slapping a rainbow on him so they had someone to get buck out of the closet

i can direct you to countless people who agree with me on this, so i am not speaking for myself unlike most tommy cultists bc you all just woul rather take lukewarm queer rep when it’s a white racist man than the potentially groundbreaking queer story that can be told

sorry but that doesn’t give me positive vibes

you people love to bash main poc characters for their flaws and storylines when they actually take the time to tell these stories and provide context, yet when tommy is racist and misogynistic to hen and chimney, you all suddenly find it fine to forgive him the moment he kissed buck

i don’t claim to be on some “moral high ground” but you people have no room to claim that either when your fandom are out here spreading nothing but anonymous hate to people who call you out on your bullshit, while you also harrass the cast and crew for not giving your favorite racist a spotlight.

i fear you don’t have any stake to claim on whether or not someone is or isn’t “morally superior”

do me a favor and block me so i don’t have to lose braincells trying to process the bullshit that comes put of your brain while trying to defend a racist man

[lover-of-mine]

I find it funny how terrified and in denial BT shippers are that we pretty much can guess Eddie's coming out story is coming. But also what word do I want to use that they would rather keep Eddie straight, so less representation so Buck stays with Tommy...

No but that's the flip that fascinates me the most actually. As someone who does believe Eddie was attracted to Shannon, so I don't think the dude is strictly gay, I have been fighting for my life for years. Eddie being gay is the most common hc and for years some people pushed for it only so that he would only ever have loved Buck, which is *gestures vaguely*. And I think it's extremely hurtful to suddenly expect Eddie to be a stereotype so he can be valid when Eddie is very much queercoded. At this point I genuinely don't care what label they give him, I just want him out of the closet, but either way we are talking about a character who had literal panic attacks at the idea of life with a woman and who was given an erectile dysfunction plot just for shits and giggles. That man screams comphet so loud it's reaching ridiculous levels. And now he needs to stay locked in his closet and die alone because everyone knows that the second Eddie comes out, Buck is dropping everything for a chance with him and they don't want Tommy to leave. And the way that Buck's bisexuality is only valid for these people if Buck is dating Tommy specifically too, like ?????? Some of them don't want representation, they want two white guys to fuck, because if they wanted rep they would want the queer story Eddie could be. And the game changer queer love story buddie could be. But somehow I'm just weird about queer relationships and can't understand queer men with my tiny woman brain. Go figure.

[fashion-foxy]

Heyyyyy so you know how in modern Disney channel movies (Im specifically talking about the Zombies and Descendants franchises as those are movies ive seen but I do think some of these traits are in other disney channel movies like Highschool Musical) the bad guys are always loud flamboyant theater kids? And how the good guys are always good morally upstanding people who have either were raised in the American Dream(tm) (nuclear family, upper middle class, perfect grades everything's going great) or live in a poorer situation but are still good people who will eventually get the picture perfect American Dream(tm)?

Yeahhh I hate to say it but that's kinda based off the formula of classic (when i say classic i mean Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. Not Renaissance era) Disney Princess movies where you have the same villain and hero formula.

Now, why am I treating any of this as a bad thing? Well, that was probably based on how villains were deliberately given queer traits to seem more villainous. You see, back in when Snow White and other classics were being worked on there were codes in place to ban queerness from being shown on film because queer people are the devil and they're gonna corrupt you and your kids if you don't watch out! Or some other stupid homophobic shit like that. So, it being the 30s, naturally, people aren't too keen on the concept of gay people. So, what's an easy way to get people to immediately let your audience know just from looking at them that your villains are evil? Give them stereotypical queer traits, of course!

And it's the exact opposite with Disney heroes! Have princesses be traditionally feminine whatever that time periods version of being a 'good woman' is. Could range from being good at cleaning and never going against authority, and even if she eventually does, make it be in the nicest way possible. Or, have her be a strong and independent woman who doesn't need a man. But, you usually focus on the woman because she's the driving force who goes through all the terrible things, and the men shouldn't be all too present because she either doesn't need a knight in shining armour or he's only there to provide the American Dream Happily Ever After.

Another thing we see in classic is the movie must always return the status quo. We can change some things about the poor area but not change it too much. I.e. we can get rid of the border but not actually do anything to combat classism or help the poor people not be poor. If the our main character is rich they stay in on their side of the border in their rich area. If the main character is poor they get to be honorary rich person but they'll have a plot line where they're not like the other girls and are having a really hard time being rich. This will conclude with them saying something about how, "They're not rich they'll poor at heart!" Which means they'll gonna be rich and wear black and be a bit quirky.

So, in classic movies the heros have a very conservative/heteronormative view of the world and way of life. While the villians possess queer traits and our the ones trying to make any changes to the system. But the thing is, NOTHING has actually changed in these modern Disney channel movies! They still use the same formula! The only difference now is that they get to queer bait audiences now!

Here are some great videos about how the formula of Disney characters has changed over the years. If you want to hear more on this subject:

https://youtu.be/OkadXlv_eA0?si=Z_avjkQKIpxGRyvf

https://youtu.be/HYh4e9u5HuE?si=4eFwcBd-iI-PTq03

Sidenote:

This is also why I love eah so much. Literally subverts the very idea of Disney style fairytales in a brilliant way. I'll never get over the fact that it lost to descendants.

[worstqueerbaittournament]

Submission messagefor Merlin and Arthur: merthur (merlin and Arthur from the BBC show merlin

Submission message for Steve and Bucky: Does Stucky count? Steve and Bucky from Captain America

Additional propaganda: I refuse to shut up about this. Merlin is not queerbait!! At no point during the show is there a genuine possibility of Arthur and Merlin to be in a romantic relationship. They are queer coded but they do not create a false impression of their relationship. See Sherlock for good example: they constantly bring it up in the show itself and dangle it in front of the viewers, only to not follow through. The show Merlin does not set them up. There are no offhanded remarks, comments, or jokes that they’re more than friends. There is simply no chance in the show that they will get together. They are queer coded, which is not the same. Coding says: this character displays some traits and characteristics that ___ people may relate to. Baiting says: oh you want these two together? hmm, you wanna see that? wouldn’t that be nifty? what if they talk about it and act like it? aren’t you gonna keep watching to find out if they really do? Then follows up with: SIKE! Wow we got you, of course they’re not together! All of that was meaningless! Let’s please stop confusing these two entirely separate concepts!

Merthur is just gay I don’t have to explain merthur on the merthur site. They’re talking to each other at night and giving each other flowers and shit— things Arthur NEVER does with his canon romantic love interest and if I’m not mistaken I think Arthur like goes to sleep for a hundred years and Merlin is like. Still waiting for him? Let them kiss, damn!

Stucky: "Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale and no adventure is complete without a love story.....the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history" - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (writers of Captain America movies + Avengers Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame)

"from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance." - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely

"Just as Jeph and Tim’’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in, the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each other’s soulmate." - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely

“So you have a character in Captain America who is searching for the only thing that he has left from his past that has any meaning to him, and that’s Bucky; and people have interpreted that relationship all kinds of ways and it’s great...we will never define it, as filmmakers, explicitly." - The Russos (Captain America: Civil War press)

"You mean, aside from Cap and Bucky?" - Anthony Russo (co-director of Cap 2 and 3 and Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame) when asked about romance in Captain Amierca: Civil War

"Moderator: But you already had a romantic B story with Cap and Bucky, right?

Anthony: We sure do

Joe: We still do

Moderator: Did you ever had to dial down the sexual tension on set?

Joe: Why would we?" - Anthony and Joe Russo (directors of Cap 2 and 3 and Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame) at a screening of Captain America: Civil War

Just a few examples directly from Marvel and the writers and directors.

merthur totally should win for so many reasons but mostly. most because the show writer, when advertising the last episode, said it was “a love story between two men” and then arthur just died in merlin’s arms for 42 minutes. on the day before christmas.

I put the first episode of Merlin, because I heard it was such a great show. I knew nothing about the ship at that point. I only put it on because i love shows like that. Before the first episode was over I was like OMG those two are gayer than later seasons Destiel. There is no way it was not intentional. NONE. Big time homoerotic vibes. It was great

I get the coding critique, but I think I disagree with the person who said they never teased a relationship with Merthur. If we’re talking “offhanded jokes that they’re more than friends” (or that other characters thought they were together a la Sherlock), I think the poetry and pants scenes fit that.

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

aroace individual here and it annoys me that they absolutely made dan asexual only cuz that mf is purple . the most boring vanilla nothingburger character gets the ace label so cool

need more characters like todd chavez from bojack horseman that tell an asexual story while still being funny and interesting as hell, instead of just grabbing a random character that you’d think an asexual would act like and saying they’re ace on twt and that’s it

onc only cares about repping their yaoi boys (1 wlw couple to not look like they hate sapphics) (not working) ,, almost all the queer men get to do queer stuff while only 2 sapphics get to be gay (and getting sidelined). one trans guy . everyone else gets to be on a single pride post who give af about them.

its some vivziepop type shit ,, only represent queer men cuz your fanbase fetishizes them and it gets views . throw in wlw crumbs as a treat . everything else only gets to be in a pride post

people need to stop praising shows that only represent white twink queer men as “revolutionary queer media” liek LMAO absolutely not

yesss this!!! i’m aroace too and i’ve talked about this too much i fear i’ve become annoying but oh my god just making tons of mlm couples is NOT as progressive as you think it is. especially because they treat their other queer characters like shit. it amuses me that they made emily queer after she left the show for what we can only assume, at the time being, forever. they barely gave gabellie a storyline in DCAS, they set up a polyamorous relationship (huntessally) and promptly failed to deliver, THEY MADE DAN ASEXUAL BECAUSE HE’S PURPLE COME ON WHO ARE THEY FOOLING.

ONC is so annoying lmfao

[maxzinn]

Damn why is the HSR fandom becoming way worse than genshin? And whenever there is any controversy aventurine is always somehow involved like leave my boy alone 😭

I'm a cis straight woman okay and no matter which fandom i interact with they always look down on me and assume shit about me even though i try to be nothing but understanding I have had so many tell me that I can't like a certain male character romantically because he is only for the boys/gays. Even like when you tell them you like a certain game/franchise/anime/singer or band they're like 'you have to be queer for liking this' and for some reason they try to convince me that I'm queer even though I'm not and they think that me being cis and straight makes me 'basic' and 'boring' I love jjba, Nana, Castlevania, Final Fantasy, Hsr and genshin impact but literally every fandom I've been is filled with a bunch of judgemental pricks which is sad because I was so excited to talk about my interests :( at first i thought they were being like that because I'm asian but then i realised it's because of my 'basic and boring' sexual and gender identity

and for some reason when I tell them that I'm cis straight they immediately assume I'm a white privileged woman (like i said I'm literally Asian) and i haven't struggled a day in my life which isn't true at all it's so ignorant to assume all of this about me just based off my sexual and gender identity and when I try to speak up they tell me that they're just 'giving me the taste of my own medicine' like what??? What does that even mean?? I'm not even homophobic i come from a conservative country and family but I have done proper research and educated myself on this topic and i treat everyone with respect so why can't they also be decent human beings and respect me too? I still try to be understanding but I can't stand the air of superiority among these people and they're usually under the age of 25 too because other queer people I have interacted with who are older than me don't behave pathetically like these people

(sorry this was so long you can ignore it if you want and sorry if my english is bad it's not my first language 😭 anyways I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night)

(This post is also long sorry hehe)

No cuz for real, it’s getting way more annoying in the fandom (no offense) and it’s even worse on twitter and hoyolab.

In my opinion, I think the toxicity mainly starts with people forcing to everybody that every character in hsr is queer coded and all that stuff. I keep seeing all that posts and comments that this certain character is “implied” which is not true??? It makes me wonder if they even know what the word “implied” means, cuz it basically/indirectly means that it’s canon.

I’m so done with those posts that claims “robin is lesbian and girlkisser so gtfo men” like stfu?

If you have seen the replies on tuonto’s twitter post, there’s like a LOT of people saying that. Like, hc her as lesbian if you want but DONT act like it’s canon and stop forcing your hcs on other people pls.

And when others reply to them saying that it isn’t canon and that they shouldn’t force it, they just straight up say that those people are “homophobic and lesphobic”.

I have no problems with gay/lesbian ships cuz I support all ships equally (except the illegal and problematic ones), but these delulu people are ruining it for the fandom tbh.

It’s funny that being straight/cis is seen as basic and boring now. And that part where you’re being forced to be queer is funny af 😭 are they ill?

You can like all the male characters that you like, none of them have canon sexualities and they’re certainly not canonically gay. If some person says that you shouldn’t like a certain male character cuz they’re only for the boys… then they’re ill, don’t listen to those bs.

It’s so weird that people now argue and force a sexuality onto fictional characters and just assume a certain character’s sexuality based on stereotypes (like aventurine for example) then claims that they’re a queer representation when said “representation” is just based on stereotypes.

It’s weird that a character’s sexuality matters so much when it doesn’t even matter that much, just enjoy the game and the plot? Stop projecting yourself onto them, they’re their own person and they have their own personality. They have nothing to do with your sexuality. And most of all… they’re literally PIXELS

And pls, liking a certain franchise doesn’t reflect anything on your sexuality. You can be a straight woman and like drag shows, you can be a straight woman and like BL and GL. Men can be straight and love skincare, men can be straight and like fashion/makeup. ITS NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?? Just stop stereotyping people 💀

[fireladybuckley]

here's the thing, girly pop

all buddie shippers have been silent and supportive of the toxicity in their fandom for years. including you. so you're all fucking complicit in what this fandom has begun

and stop pulling that both sides are the same bullshit. only buddie stans sent graphic child rape fics to my inbox. your evidence of "bucktommies just want to take Chris from Eddie and give him to buck" is a completely made up fucking LIE

this is why I don't ship buddie anymore. you can fucking DIE mad about your little clique finally encountering a group who won't back down to their childish bullying. this isn't sudden. this isn't a ship war. this is the environment YOU and YOURS fostered for fucking YEARS. and now you think some meek and mild little "let's all just get along" finger wagging is good enough? fuck that and fuck you. your fandom has run fans of color out of the fandom, has perpetrated homophobic attacks on actual queer men, has told queer men that lesbians and "bisexual" teenage white girls are more qualified to speak on GAY MEN AND THEIR CULTURE, have organized targeted harassment campaigns on every actress to play a love interest for their faves, erased actual queer characters for their straight fave, have declared the Black lesbians a "ship for heteros", have used those same Black lesbians as props for false racism allegations, on and on ad fucking nauseam

but yeah sure jan buddie stans are the real victims because bucktommies aren't sweet and nice and angelic about putting up with being called n*ggers and f*ggots and fetishizers and pedophiles and groomers and hags. we're not nice about fake accounts and lies and hacking attempts and violent, pustulent bigotry. we're the real problem, clearly

idgaf if y'all are suddenly uncomfortable sleeping in the bed you made. y'all should have been calling out this shit from the jump but y'all wanted to sit at the table with Regina george

well bitch here's the fucking bus

This is a pretty good example of what I’m talking about. I didn’t say or have any part in half the stuff in here that I’m being accused of. I’ve never been part of a clique as I’ve always hung out with anyone in the fandom regardless of who they ship. I didn’t say “Bucktommies just want to take Chris from Eddie”, I said people who don’t like Eddie often say shit like that. You read my post and wrote this entire thing so fast I’m not surprised you missed some of the context.

I am very happy to see Buck in a happy and fulfilling relationship with Tommy, even if he’s not my favourite person to ship Buck with. But all you needed to see was “I ship Buddie” to let loose this avalanche of vitriol. If you even glanced at my blog before upending this on me you’d have seen plenty of supportive bucktommy posts I’ve reblogged recently. As I’ve said, he might not be my favourite but I am plenty happy with their onscreen relationship.

The entire point is I AM NOT ON ONE SIDE OR ANOTHER. There shouldn’t even BE sides like this. I do not paint myself solely as a “Buddie shipper” and that’s it because that’s ridiculous, this show is huge and there’s so many wonderful characters and me liking one ship more than another doesn’t mean shit because I am always respectful when it comes to other people’s ships, and shipping is just ONE part of fandom experience. I have never once spewed hate and toxicity at people for liking some of the ships I disliked, because, shockingly, people are allowed to like what they like. I also really fucking hate that this entire show with all its wonderful characters and storylines boils down to only Buck or only Buddie for SO many people.

And for the record I absolutely have spoken out about people being gross and taking Buddie or Buck worship too far. Also about the fetishization, and the sidelining of the amazing canon lesbian POC relationship that we have. I am queer myself and will always be against people tearing down actual queer storylines and characters in favour of their ships. I have posted and reblogged stuff about people being disgusting about Tommy and/or Lou and how they’re making homophobic accusations that are completely inappropriate.

Please in the future, whoever you are, when you read what someone has to say, try to keep in mind that not everyone is trying to attack you or argue with you. Not everyone is even on a “side”, like that’s literally what my post was about. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[ca-suffit]

same anon… thank you for your response, i take your point and don’t rly disagree with what you’re saying… the nuclear family analogy is definitely there and i think bc of the time period they were somewhat boxed into this heteronormative dynamic but i still see shades of like a mother/daughter dynamic with lestat and claudia (he “made” her for example, baby traps louis in the book which is seen as a more feminine thing, kind of gives strict helicopter mom to louis’ more “chill dad” vibe) and i don’t see why those interpretations can’t coexist and why that reading automatically “masculinises” louis. there is definitely an issue w this fandom hypermasculinising louis/black men and i would definitely never consider louis to be “the man” in the relationship or whatever. it’s the same with top/bottom discourse when in reality i don’t think it’s that binary. but tbh what i mostly don’t like is when people get into the territory of “lestat weaponises femininity” or arguments that his feminine traits are inauthentic/a facade to conceal his real self being a patriarchal abuser. it feels very terfy and icky considering his misogyny/toxic masculinity is learned but his queerness/femininity is genuine

(context)

I'm glad I didn't scare u off! so much of this fandom (and prbly in general) ppl leave if there's any disagreement in opinions. they only want an echo chamber. it's pointless. idgi. anyway tho.

I kind of got lost whether ur talking about the show or book at a point. between them all tho, I do agree there's multiple interpretations in ways, especially if ur going across *all* of the versions. if it wasn't so antiblack here, we could prbly more easily talk about a lot of things more openly. when ppl shut down one discussion then it puts everyone on edge and we can't talk about much of *anything* else bcuz we aren't even addressing the main thing yet. a lot of this show's fandom issues are that white gays takeover every conversation and aren't interested in hearing about any racial aspects at all, even tho the main character of the show is a BLACK gay man. all ppl want to talk about is lestat and how louis should just listen to him and stop being so "mean" and on and on. it's prbly gonna be insufferable for S3 but I'm trying to avoid thinking about that lol.

"what i mostly don’t like is when people get into the territory of “lestat weaponises femininity” or arguments that his feminine traits are inauthentic/a facade to conceal his real self being a patriarchal abuser. it feels very terfy and icky considering his misogyny/toxic masculinity is learned but his queerness/femininity is genuine"

what the fuck?? well, I do know this fandom has sides to it that are v "phobic" to all of the LGBT community. tbh anne rice's writing about gay men isn't as progressive as ppl think either, so it's rly not surprising some of her fans are fucked up about it. I forget a lot that she wasn't a huge conservative bcuz her writing makes her sound like one sometimes.

but anyway. ppl need to learn all the ways that literally everyone can be a shitty person and for what reasons too. there's rampant abuse and racism in the LGBT community too, from any identity. there's no way to spot an abuser and say "these are the traits of an abuser and these are traits of a victim." lestat is never shown using any of this stuff to avoid accountability for his harmful shit...or weaponizing it?? I haven't seen these posts so idk what exactly they're saying, but based on what u wrote. tbh, as u said, it sounds like ppl just wanted a way to be homophobic and/or transphobic in a dog whistle way. this fandom *loves* doing that shit.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

I love Loki so much but his stans are exhausting. They convinced themselves that Marvel hates Loki personally for being popular and taking the spotlight from the heroes (as if they care about what about the franchise gets popular as long as it keeps viewers) and are giving him bad storylines on purpose to punish his fans. I've seen them unironically use the word misandry twice when talking about Marvel's treatment of him, one of which even said that the MCU has a "bias against white males". You can't make that shit up.

They make it so embarrasing to be a Loki stan, which I am. I know exactly which Tumblr user you're referring to. I refer to them as salty, and you can tell from their speech patterns they're the ones always sending anons complaining about the Loki series in anti Sylki blogs.I want to yell at them that misandry isn't real and that white men are not oppressed.

And I say this as someone that holds a grudge towards most or maybe all of the directors in anything MCU!Loki related. As I've said before, I only watch MCU stuff for Loki. I especially loathe Joss Whedon for the Germany scene in A1 cus yea, let's compare the formerly queer-coded and now canonically queer character to N*zis, and second are the Russos for killing Loki off like that and being annoying about it in interviews, and their cringey gay Russo bs. I don't like other directors either, but my dislike is not as bad as those I've mentioned.

Also, Joss Whedon is a racist that fucked over Ray Fisher and a creep. So may he rot in hell.

[thestrangestthlng]

HOLY DOUBLE FUCKING DOWN BATMAN.

"Remember, this is not me backing down or being defensive." "Remember, this is not me apologizing?"

Babes, who are you talking to? Your little fucking friends who are just as problematic as you?

"Just because you were offended doesn't mean you were right."

Be so fucking for real right now. That is not for you to decide. You don't get to determine what is offensive to someone and say they're wrong. You do not get to tell people from communities that what they were offended by wasn't offensive. You do not get to determine whether or not someone else can be offended by your actions.

"I am not the creator of gay stereotypes."

No, you are not, but that doesn't not mean that you have to continue to give them life.

"they created it themselves." Re: stereotypes about queer hookup culture.

You do realize that straight people have a hook up culture, right? We'll get to that. Do you want to know why there are so many negative stereotypes about marginalized communities? I'll tell you. It's because of white supremacy culture and the patriarchy. White people in power made sure the seeds of these negative connotations were spread far and wide. Media creates those biases and creates the stereotype. Would you say the same thing about Black women and the Mammy and Sapphire stereotype? These are stereotypes that are mocked and negatively reinforced in culture for entertainment and oppression.

"Gay men, I'm sorry... [...] my bad, I thought that because gay men can joke about it, I can too."

It's not that you can't joke about it. The fact was it wasn't fucking funny and I will explain to you exactly why. When you are joking abut a marginalized community, or a demographic that you have a position of privilege over (which you do, as a bisexual woman) you have to PUNCH UP for the joke to be funny. You punched down, which made it an attack and not a joke.

"The hook up culture exists in every sexual orientation [...] so what are you even mad for."

It absolutely does exist with every sexual orientation, WHICH IS WHY YOU COULD HAVE LEFT OUT THAT WHOLE FUCKING PARAGRAPH WHERE YOU TALKED ABOUT GAY MEN ONLY BEING ABOUT THAT THING. (And I'm sure that you're not even old enough to get that reference.)

"The word "target" was part of the fun little dialogue I imagined in my head when I was explaining Tommy pov. It wasn't meant to be taken in a fun docu-series kinda way."

Just because it's not how you intended doesn't mean that isn't how it was received. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You mocking this just really goes to show how ignorant you are.

"I'm bisexual."

Okay, and? The same way a gay man or a lesbian can be biphobic or make biphobic statements or actions, bisexual people can have queerphobic statements or actions. I explained this to you. Internalized phobias are a think too.

"Queer people are not untouchable."

No, they aren't. You can dislike queer characters, I know I dislike PLENTY. You can just be honest with yourself and be like "I don't like him because he's in the way of my ship." You don't have to prove anything you can just say you don't like him. You don't need to justify this, you can just be honest about it.

The problem is that the rhetoric that you are spewing is homophobic in nature. And when gay men and other queer people are telling you that it's offensive, it's offensive. You were explained to in detail why what you said was offensive, reductive, and dangerous. You just don't care. Your little friends are just in your ear backing you up.

Tommy is absolutely just a character. He will never see any of this shit, but people like him, will.

If after this, you still don't understand how you, a bisexual, can be homophobic or make homophonic actions, I don't know what to tell you.

[limeade-l3sbian]

i am extremely anxious bc on one hand, i never held any hatred for trans ppl/trans women but i do have a brain and so i do know what a male and a female is, and i also know what a lesbian and a gay man is, so i understand that most cis lesbians only want pussy bc the act of sex and sexual attraction is centered around the body and same-sex attraction is a real thing. however, i feel like im being gaslit every time i interact with the average (usually white) queer person bc i have to pretend like i dont know what i know, like i dont have eyes, like homosexuality doesnt exist, like biology isnt real actually, bc if i dont, i’m labeled a bigot. im tired.

i believe that trans ppl deserve to live in peace. however i don’t believe that homosexual cis men and women have to fuck them to validate their identities. and i feel like the average off-line person believes this. i feel like the average person both believes in trans rights and also maintains that homosexual people are same SEX attracted. hell, i have a nonbinary friend that only likes pussy.

idk why i’m ranting in ur inbox. mainly i’m frustrated. im frustrated bc i don’t see gay men being policed the way lesbians are being policed when it comes to how they speak about their attraction. i’ve never heard someone refer to males as ppl with dicks. and i’m frustrated bc i can’t call it misogyny without being accused of victimizing myself as a cis woman. and im even more tired that black women are always used as talking points during these trans debates.

it’s making me upset bc i feel like most trans folks don’t hold these beliefs. i’ve seen a trans man go on reddit and admit that he doesn’t enjoy being in the community bc of these backward beliefs and policing and sometimes predatory behavior, and i’ve seen other trans folks admit that they agree. yet i have to pretend like i don’t see it? like what we call ‘queer theory’ doesn’t have real ideological, misogynistic, and often racist issues? and i can’t call this without being called a terf when i don’t even hate trans women? i just want women to be able to talk about the oppression they face without giving several disclaimers (and yes, this includes cis women bc they still face oppression like hello), and i want black women to stop being used as talking points when we’re real people, and i want everybody to leave lesbians alone…

anyway sorry for going off. i’m drunk and thinking a lot and i feel like this is where i can get my thoughts out without being shot on sight.

No apology needed. I'm just sorry I got to this so late. Talk your shit, girl.

[runthepockets]

Extremely bullshit personal ramble under the cut

I was reading this article on Chevy Chase yesterday, and it talked a little about his time on the tv show Community, and how he once left creator Dan Harmon an angry voicemail after the latter had embarrassed him very publicly at a party. And Harmon's response was to....play the voicemail at a small gathering, which just felt really unnecessarily cruel and exploitative for a guy in charge of a successful sitcom.

"This is a pattern people have with my father" Chase's daughter says, "whenever they get hurt by him, the run to tell their friends and call up TMZ and gossip about him, make him a laughing stock, put him on blast in front of the whole world". And look, I know the guy is an ass. He's a racist, xenophobic, sexist, and every other outdated ideal rich white guys are prone to under the sun, with a huge ego. But a lot of me is still like....why this? He's just a guy, he's still human at the end of the day. You're both adults, and Harmon was clearly the one in the wrong, why didn't he just call Chase and apologize for embarrassing him in front of his family and coworkers? That doesn't seem unreasonable. I believe in accountability, and all, but kicking a man when he's down and making a huge spectacle of it for a cheap laugh is just low hanging fruit, and wraps back around to being pretty devastating and pathetic, even if he sucks as a person.

I've been bitching a lot about queer spaces lately, and I feel pretty bad about it, even if I feel a lot of the criticism is warranted. In the midst of all my bitching, I should clarify that I'm not one to sell people up the river for cis approval, or to judge people unfairly for being different than me, or any of that stuff. I'm an adult, I grew up in the 2000s and 2010s. I remember all the stupid jokes at trans women's expense and a lot of "shock humor" revolving around making a mockery of gay men's sexualities. I remember how people hated Brokeback Mountain when it first came out. I remember Matthew Shephard. I remember how simply wearing pants that fit could get a guy jumped after dark. I think about all of that stuff all the time. I'm stealth and unwilling to compromise this, but even while navigating the world as a cishet dude, I still operate as an ally to the queer struggle and liberation. I'm not an idiot and I'm not heartless, I know it's rough out here, I can still afford people a lot of grace and empathy, I'm genuinely a pretty smart and patient guy.

But lately I feel my patience is running thin. I wish it wasn't, but it is. Every time I try to open myself up in queer spaces I just end up getting manipulated or abused or backstabbed or assigned some sort of mediator role that I never asked for. And look, I'm no saint, and I know I can be pretty polarizing at times. I often struggle to find the sweet spot between amusement and comedy and just being a douche, and at the end of the day not everyone in the world is going to like me, cis or trans, gay or straight, and goddamn if there aren't people I couldn't give less of a shit about. I honestly couldn't care less about being in everyone's good graces, that's just not how being an adult in this life works.

But I digress. I'm not a damn mass murderer, I've never raped or sexually harassed or killed anyone. I'm just kind of awkward at times. For all my jokes and how much I revel in being a bad boy and giving little to no fucks about any trivial bullshit, I do have morals. I do try very hard to make sure no one feels left out or alienated or uncomfortable by my actions, and if I do it's almost never intentional. It isn't fun. Being the only black & neurotypical dude in a lot of queer spaces isn't too dissimilar from Mr. Chase's experiences on Community; if you fuck up, you're pretty much fucked. Queer spaces are too small to avoid everyone you've ever fucked up with, and you can't throw a rock in a queer space without hitting like 12 people with trauma responses that lead them to blow a lot of things out of proportion. By no fault of their own, of course, but they are still in control of their actions and that more often than not leads to me being treated like some sort of pariah rather than just being told what I did wrong and deescalating conflict in a casual way.

On a more menial and petty level, it also sucks being ignored. Seeing people's eyes glaze over and watching them reach for their phones any time I talk about my interests and passions for improving malenes or how much I like being a straight guy, cus that doesn't blend very well with people's ideas of queer identity / conflicts with their priorities. It sucks. I'm chopped liver. I wish I could pin it to white queer spaces (and they are the most egregious offenders for most of this), but I think it's just the state of nonblack queers in general and the sad reality of queer spaces being molded as a "safe space" from masculinity since like, the 70s (many trans men and masc gay men will agree with and testify to this). That's a good 80% of time I just spend being an after thought, both interpersonally and in broader political conversations. It sucks ass. I get that being stealth isn't for everyone, but I really don't see how anyone can fault me for my decision. When I'm in the cishet world, as a black dude, things aren't perfect either, but people are more likely to understand where I'm coming from and the things I have to say, at the very least, because the majority of their experiences are the same and the lack of stigma and trauma around their identities makes it a lot easier to communicate. Again, this is not a personal failing of queer spaces, but the material reality is....yeah, it's just easier for me personally to deal with cishet people. Black trans people, too, but realistically black people as a whole only make up about 13% of the population and only like, 6% of that is trans, and I'm not gonna spend all day every day weeding out people to hang out with, I'm gonna chill with whoever is cool to be around.

Idk man. Lately I've just been feeling this strong sense of "if I weren't trans, I wouldn't matter to any of these people, pretty much everything between us is conditional." Like, if people react this poorly to me as a black dude who presumably doesn't have a dick or isn't struggling with a lot of the hang ups and traumas cis black dudes have (you know, the kind of shit that lands you in jail or addicted to meth, instead of just being kind of rude and dismissive sometimes), imagine how they'd react if I actually was a cis black dude. I'd probably be torn to shreds by now. And the fact that I'm feeling this way means it's probably time for a huge change. I try really hard-- to accommodate for people, to find new friends, to learn and keep learning and always try to do better, and it all always ends the same. It's gotten to the point where some of my friends think it's all online nonsense. It's not. Being a black man really just sucks that fucking bad, and it really is just this fucking hard all the time. I mean don't get me wrong, I fucking love being black and I love being a man, but there is no reprieve, and it's idiotic to act as if all men have the same privileges that white dudes do.

I don't think I can ever fully leave queer spaces behind; I mean, I love trans women so much, romantically platonically and sexually, and black trans people in particular give me so much joy and hope in a world that feels very stacked against me a lot of the time. But I do think it's time to be more selective with my time and energy and who I interact with, cus it's very apparent to me that a lot of people don't have my best interests at heart, nor do they really know how to deal with problems beyond very surface level and biased understandings of gender and being trans.

At the end of the day, I really really love people, which is maybe why it always hits so hard when they don't always love me back.

[kutputli]

God, I am annoyed at Nathan only being given a contractually obligated split second of screen time this episode.

I am diverting all my irritation into talking about how networking and nepotism intersects with race, using Ms Shandy Fine as my beauteous example. I need to to do a rewatch with subtitles on to make notes for that. Meanwhile quick reaction post for the rest of the stuff -

I have been so immersed in fanon for so long that I had to deliberately shift my gears down to remember that Colin wasn't known to be gay for the average het viewer. Or for us, really - one grindr comment does not a canonical queer make, not with picking up on twenty years of subtext that never makes it into text. So yay, I guess, for the first undeniably queer character on the show. I head 'sex after you get back' instead of 'text' and I thought this was a hookup situation, but it turns out he's a boyfriend? I have been looking through the internet trying to find the actor's name, but omg finally an East Asian character with speaking lines! And he's very very cute. I hate that he has to act like a wingman for Colin, and I just hope he doesn't get too hurt in the inevitable outing that the show is leading up to.

I see that the gentle, kind, Ted Lasso effect does not extend towards casual homophobia in the dressing room. This is where HR rules being strictly implemented brings about better DEI reform than one Nice White Saviour.

I enjoyed Zava a lot. I think he was very well written, and beautifully acted. A completely batshit diva who is genuinely as good as his press, and who isn't an asshole. Two pointed differences - him saying the kitman is the most important person in the room, and him not actively being mean towards any one individual. That's the difference between him and Jamie. Appropriative meditative techniques aside, this is a man who has a stable marriage which is loving enough for him to relocate for - which makes him better at adult relationships than most of the other characters we've seen on the show so far. Carry on chewing that scenery Maximilian, its very entertaining.

What is not entertaining is the white people trainwrecks going on with the women. I get Jane is an abusive shit, why must this point be belaboured? There is no entertainment nor pathos here, and I see no point to it, unless it is for the one Beard centric episode where Men Can Be Abused Also becomes the theme.

Rebecca side-eyeing the flirtation between Sam and his head chef is also wearying. The chef is very cute, and I'm so happy for Sam to have his restaurant, but also - same uneven power dynamics in a workplace! Aaaaa

The psychic storyline is just complete twaddle. Give that screentime to literally anyone else. It is the worst of all rom-com elements to introduce.

Speaking of unethical relationships - holy fucking hell what the fuck show writers having TWO female therapists dismiss as mildly unethical a marriage counsellor having a romantic relationship with his ex-client???!!!!! How, what why.... I am just. Gobsmacked. I was getting irritated with Ted still being hung up over Michelle, but of course the poor guy will have trust issues if the first therapist he opened up to is now shagging the mother of his child! And his current therapist doesn't act like its a massive violation of ethics he should be reported for. And his casual hookup therapist makes an extremely dark joke about paedophilia to brush it off. AAAAAAAAA

OK a rewatch then to post about Nate and Shandy and how I couldn't spot Mr Bhargava anywhere though I tried to keep an eye out!

(Trent Crimm remains as hairsome and louche as every, and he is my mary sue because I too, can never spell diahhreoa.)

[peachybeins]

The Assistant by John Tristan M/M (Trans M/Cis M)

Short Thoughts: A promising romantic suspense with great trans representation but lacking as an actual romance

Longer Thoughts: I really didn't feel a connection or at least not to the level of devotion it inspired. Like so In love as to unend your entire life become a fugitive wanted by the FBI and being on the run for the rest of your life is crazy.

Individually on their own the Nick & Jacob were actually pretty interesting, a bigger muscular asian ex-military man dealing with Issues and a mysterious suspiciously wealthy trans man interesting as hell, but their romance was so underbaked.

This could've been avoided if the book was longer. So much was rushed.

I'm one of those people who isn't particularly enthused to read about MCs have graphic on page sexual/romantic encounters prior to getting with their love interest. I get what the author was going for to show Nick's boundaries & interest in BDSM and to give him a little friend to talk to. I recognise that's a rather realistic occurrence among some queer men; where hook-ups become wholly platonic friends...but idk about their sexual encounter being on page, especially because Nick wasn't into it and I'm not reading smut for a participant to not be into the sex.

Another thing related to the trans rep, was that Jacob wasn't the first time Nick's been with a trans man. Too often the trans characters are the cis person's "first trans experience" or whatever. And the trans person needs to handhold and educate the cis person or worry about not being desirable to the cis LI based on their transness. Not here! Nick had a brief fling with another Trans man in the past, so there was none of that "oh would he like me as an uwu real boy" shit I hate.

The actual sex scenes were fine, the kinks displayed weren't my "thing" or rather weren't depicted how I usually like to read about. The scene where Nick got to physical reciprocate by giving Jacob a handjob was nice big sexy but it was the only time 😢 like damn Homeboy(Jacob) couldn't even get his dick sucked? Come on now!

I do want to give a shout out to the Premier woman character; Special Agent Siobhan Marks, I've been seeing way too many M/M romances where the (cis Straight, never a fellow queer) woman exists to be be lowkey annoying, the one to have tehe gossip seshes about boyzz, treating one of the MCs as her Gay Best Friend, to swap quirky~ quips and be extremely invasive about the queer men's sex/romantic lives. Not her! She's on the hunt for a wanted criminal who just so happens to be one of the MCs. Honestly we didn't see much of her (Honestly we didn't see much of anything really) but from what little I saw she was great.

Representation: Achillean White 40+ Disabled Trans man, Cis Gay Japanese-American man with PTSD, Ownvoices trans man author.

Sexual Content & Roles: Explicit. Unconventional BDSM dynamic, One is the "dom" & the other is a macocist, no penetrative sex, so Sides I guess? Handjobs. Impact play, heavy caning, anal fingering, butt tail plug.

Terms Used: Dick/Cock.

Rating: For the Dysphoria Buster score; 10/10, but as a story it's a 6.5/10 🌟