#lets go lesbians how do we feel about Gender

[lesbians4armand]

okay have been thinking about this for a while so here’s a non fandomy post about my lesbian experience with gender.

first and foremost i consider myself a cis woman, my pronouns are she/her. but this gender identity also feels very informed by my sexuality.

I think despite how horrific the Covid quarantines were they provided an incredible space for self exploration as the full detach from society meant a lack of performance, this is why wilder styles in makeup and fashion became popular during this time, but it was also a popular time that we were talking about sexuality and gender identity because of the isolation and looking within that happened.

I was a young adult when this happened, just out of my teens, never truly having thought about my gender identity. I identified as bisexual for a long time, which i now come to realise was mostly due to comphet (a discussion within itself), but i was never really aware of the full spectrum of queerness.

I think a lot about the Dolly Parton quote “find out who you are and do it on purpose” as that seems to sum up my thoughts very well. I’m cis, but not because it was a default state that i never thought much about, it was a conclusion i came to through exploration and it’s something i recommend to all people. Find out who you are, explore the masculine, the feminine, everything in between.

Gender identity at the time was like a clothes shop, you could go into a fitting room and see how things felt, how they looked. I came out wearing the same clothes I went in wearing, but so thankful that I knew they were right instead of wearing them because I always had done. And sticking with the metaphor I’m so happy for those who went in and came out wearing something else, that’s wonderful!

But knowing for a definite fact that I was a woman, and felt uncomfortable being referred to as anything else, I came to realize i was a lesbian, and a lot of the exploration I went through was subconsciously coming to terms with that. I didn’t want to be a man, I was just gay and still blinded by heteronormativity and compulsive heterosexuality.

Now I come to gender presentation, different to identity. I don’t post images of myself online (at least not in fandom spaces, i keep my personal things separate) but I am very feminine. Having these explorations before also made me realise I do prefer the feminine. There are specific sorts of presentations and even identities that come with being lesbian in a society that is so male focused, while having no interest in men. These seem to have been a lot harder for me to figure out.

How do you be masculine while having no desire for or to be a man? How do you be feminine when you have no desire to be with men as society expects you to be. Do the makeup and hair dye and dresses I wear mean I present less queer?

I’m a woman, there’s no difference in me gender-wise to any woman who is not a lesbian, yet it feels like a totally different experience. Maybe I’m still coming to terms with it or maybe lesbianism truly is something entirely different in a society that values men over anything else.

Any other opinions from lesbians, transgender people, or nonbinary people would be greatly welcomed, but this is also a musing post rather than a philosophy, argument, or an identity

[vintage-bentley]

It’s so hard for me to not feel devastated about the state of LGB acceptance.

I’m gen Z, so I was lucky to be raised with a positive attitude towards same sex attraction. I distinctly remember seeing those posters about how gay isn’t an insult, before I even knew what gay was. So by the time I was old enough to understand what sexuality was, I kind of just knew I was gay and was fine with it. I was supposed to be the lucky generation—the first to be raised in a world that generally felt positively towards same sex attraction.

And then in comes gender ideology and all of its rampant homophobia. And in a way, it feels like the world I was promised was ripped away from me. I used to think I’d be out and proud as a lesbian, but now I’m scared to even mention it to anybody because I know that I don’t have to just worry about the people who think same sex attraction = sin, but now I also have to worry about the people who hear “lesbian” and translate it to “evil terf bitch”. And the people who hear “I’m only attracted to women” and translate it to “transphobic and closed-minded”. And people who say “I’m gay too!” But actually aren’t.

I used to dream of going to pride events, but now I know it’s not for me. It’s for people who have built up entire identities that would crumble without their homophobic and misogynistic foundation. Every time pride month comes up, I feel almost a sense of grief. Because that was supposed to be my time to be with people like me. Now it’s for the people who’ve always hated us, and found a way to take over all of the minimal things we had just for us.

It’s lonely enough to be gay, especially a lesbian. And it’s just gotten worse. And it keeps getting worse as more people grow to at the best not give a shit about us, and at the worst hate us passionately and do everything they can to let it be known.

It really feels like the LGB positive future I thought I’d been born into was stolen. And the worst part of it all is that I can’t even talk about this without being dismissed as a bad person.

[kiyomitakada]

i know its a classic. possibly cliche already. but i do wonder about Tumblr In The Death Note Universe probably more than i should

2 notes

💅 toxicbff Follow

if i see one more post attributing kira's powers to ~supernatural powers~ instead of the obvious fact that the cia is doing a coup I'm going to start giving You the heart attacks

💅 toxicbff

of course i saw the news how does that not prove my point further

the idea that all the police around the world could be mobilized by one single person is ridiculous (just look at this list of how many civilian militia there are globally)

heart attack victims don't seize the way "lind l tailor" did

i don't know how to tell you that You Can't Kill People Just By Knowing Their Name And Face because this is Real Life and not the newest grimdark marvel villain

people need to stop being scared of the ~bogeyman in the closet~ and wake up to the fact that usamerica is trying to take over the goddamned world

💅 toxicbff

im going to kill you all and nuke this website

#sayonara you weeaboo shits

2,925 notes

👾 lets-go-geeks Follow

DO TRUMP NEXT

🕵🏾‍♀️ penny-penelope Follow

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

16,375 notes

❤️‍🔥 lovesickened Follow

i know its stupid but im so fucking scared for my brother i heard that seven people died this week at the prison he's in and iinjust dont kenow what to do ihate him for ehat he did to mom but i never wanted him to die

#vent tw #delete later

0 notes

🏎 fastandyurious Follow

if i get a single more comment about why i don't tag "genderbend" on my kiratective fics i'm going to blow up the entire building. we don't know EITHER of their genders. why don't YOU tag your mediocre yaoi genderbend instead

🔆 sparkling-world Follow

…OP, you realize the news reports all consistently use "he," right?

🏎 fastandyurious

of course i do???? just because you see something on the news doesn't mean you have to believe it?????? they don't have any information on kira yet but i'm supposed to believe the fbi knows their gender already??????? also kira is literally a fucking girl's name my classmate in elementary school was called kira

🔆 sparkling-world

Kira comes from the Japanese romanization for "killer," it isn't gendered whatsoever.

Also, evidence shows the majority of serial killers are male, so I'd argue that the statistics favor the fujoshis here.

🏎 fastandyurious

well evidence shows that female serial killers are just more fun to write about and I'd argue that you're ignoring my fucking POINT which is that we DON'T KNOW KIRA'S GENDER and if people don't want to read lesbian kiratective they can FUCK OFF MY BLOG

🥚 i-offer-eggman Follow

I offer you an Eggman in these trying times.

🔮 I-stands-for-le-gay Follow

@lashitpostcalligrapher yo can i get "the statistics favor the fujoshis" on my tombstone

#fandom: kira rpf #ship: kiral #never heard it called kiratective before… #also uh. prayer circle for op's classmate lmaoooo

2,107 notes

💃🏻 modelingmadness Follow

BOYCOTT EIGHTEEN MAGAZINE

THEY ALLOW KIRA-SUPPORTING MODELS AND ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS MASSACRE

SOURCES HERE AND HERE (TRIGGER WARNING: KIRA DISCUSSION)

PUSH BACK AGAINST HEART ATTACKS

🧚🏽‍♂️ harubaru Follow

golly gee ^_^ suddenly i feel like taking to the high seas in a way that the eighteen company cant get profit from. oh no ! who left this link here

🐦‍⬛ kuro--misa Follow

thanks for the link but jesus fucking christ man what happened to free speech. misa-misa's parents were killed by a burglar who kira punished. did you all expect her to just sit there, look pretty, and say nothing about it?

you people only like models when they're nice pictures for you to consume. you only like them two-dimensional and smiling and hot. the second a woman actually speaks her mind she's thrown to the wolves

💃🏻 modelingmadness

DID YOU NOT SEE MY BANNER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

#BLOCKED

140 notes

🐦‍⬛ kuro--misa Follow

lol. lmao even

#they blocked me but whatever #official eighteen site just said misamisa wont be in the next issue #(eighteen sucks but i kind of want to use it more out of spite now) #so much for apologism huh? #god. i feel sick. #hasn't she been through enough.

1 note

🥷🏻 kira-imagines Follow

Imagine you're going home after a long day. Suddenly there's a sound. "Huh? Whose there" you ask, dropping your keys on the floor. Then you feel it. A knife pressing in your neck.

"Don't move kitten" Kira purrs behind you. "You're all mine now…"

#kiraxreader #kiraxoc #kira #kira rpf #kira investigation #kira fucker #kira fudger #kira lover #kira haters dont touch #kira haters please touch #kira supporters please touch #l

5,733 notes

asahi-the-student-deactivated201

Hello, everyone! My little sister told me about this microblogging platform (I admit, I'm a Twitter refugee) and that many of you are discussing the Kira investigation on here. I'm really interested in hearing what your thoughts are!

💋 sunny-sayu Follow

let the record show he lasted like. a day

#i think it was the imagines that did him in #bro is so sensitive :p

15 notes

kiyomitakada

the world could be beautiful

[ @deathnotetober day 14: trigger ]

[eastgaysian]

My offhand analysis of why tumblr usamericans are falling so hard for the 4b movement currently is that’s it’s straightforward vicarious revanchism, and you tend to see this sort of thing a lot with people who vaguely call themselves “leftists” but have no framework of material analysis and work solely off of vibes. The fact that it’s in a colonial outpost they can condescend to makes it even easier for them to indulge in the fantasy of it from afar

it makes me feel like a wild chimpanzee truly the total lack of any analytical framework that's being demonstrated. the amount of people in the notes of my post falling over themselves to go well ok so clearly there's rampant transmisogyny but maybe all those terfs found their way into this movement by accident. maybe political lesbianism is not inherently transmisogynistic? maybe bioessentialism is fine actually and sound material analysis? did anyone consider that?

like, i wanted to choose excerpts from lee hyun-jae's article focusing on specific real-life instances of transmisogyny to add in the post, but frankly i'm not even sure people read those. and they certainly didn't digest the display of blatantly trans exclusionary politics that are central to mainstream korean feminism. (which actively prevent the movement from critically understanding much less dismantling the mechanisms of patriarchy.) hooray those poor oppressed women in that terribly backwards country are standing up for themselves! well of course we can't expect them to care about trans women, they can't possibly have Our Expansive Gender Understanding and it's unreasonable to ask them to share their hard-earned resources with fake women uhhh people who can't hope to understand their struggle uhhhh let's circle around to that. how exciting that those people over there are Doing Something despite their horrific ignorance! isn't that inspirational for us enlightened people over here?

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

I asked a few of my favorite hazbin writers this and only one answered and it was ok but I felt like it could have been expanded on so here's my take

Vox, Val, Alastor, and Lucifer react to your love language being baking/cooking

Vox

(Starting with him because he's the one thaf inspired this).

Vox came from the 50s and even though I firmly believe he is past all the ingrained gender roles and homophobia I think he still has some internalized misogyny. He wants to be viewed as the man in the relationship, the breadwinner, the provider. He can cook for himself but it's pretty basic food (except steak. Like every other man since the invention of the grill how to bbq has been hardwired into his brain. If his partner also grills ya'll fight over whose turn to cook out it is)

(Unrelated but as a lesbian who loves to grill, and is the designated grill bro, butch lesbians or cookout lesbians are some of Vox's favorite type of gays to chill with)

I firmly believe that's why even though he's a sub, it's so hard and would take time and trust to get him to let you top and enjoy it. He's so worried people will find out and judge him, that you'll judge him. His ego can be very fragile.

Especially if we go with the Vox used to be a cult leader theory. His power, image, and success are linked to his ability to appear in control. To appear to have all the answers and take responsibility. It's going to take a lot of time and patience to unravel all that and help him seperate his personal and professional image.

That being said, a partner who uses acts of service as a love language is perfect for him. He's a busy man, so he tends to be a gift giver type. The gifts are always well thought out and expensive. He wants it to be something you need, want, can get a lot of enjoyment from, and be worth the money spent, so he puts time and effort into them. Unless he's just showing off by giving you his card and telling you to go nuts.

So you taking time to make his coffee for him the way he likes, ordering lunch from his favorite places and having it sent to his office so he remembers to eat, or just texting him reminders to drink water or eat/take breaks throughout the day makes him giddy.

If you're his assistant or something, (and I believe Vox absolutely would have his partner working for him/with him), then it's even better when you take on extra work to try and help him. Organizing his schedule, sorting emails/mail, and proofreading things. Any small act you do for him, because you want to and care about him, makes his heart rate pick up.

It'll really make him overheat, glitching slightly, literal heart eyes, if he comes home after a shitty day and you're cooking for him.

His internal monologue is absolutely raving about what a good housewife you are for him, a hard working husband.

Bonus points if you cleaned too! Either way, he adores you even more now, letting you fret and coo at him, removing his jacket and tie, pouring him a drink and telling him dinner will be ready soon and you made his favorite. He's so tempted to bend you over the counter right now, but that would ruin dinner. After you guys eat though, he's having you for dessert. Man's gonna make sure you know how much he appreciates this by turning your knees to jello, good luck walking tomorrow, doll.

If you bake treats and bring them to VoxTek he's gonna brag so much. Literally the embodiment of John Mulaney's, "That's my wife!" If you bring them just for him, he's defending his treats like they're the last ones in Hell. He has literally hit Val with a fly swatter for even asking if he could have one.

(Unrelated but like, chubby vox maybe? You're cooking is too good)

Valentino

Val wishes he could cook better. He's some kind of latino, so I feel like the fact he can't cook very well is a sore spot culturally. He can make the salsa and chips and like, help with stuff, he knows how to wrap tortillas and tomales (I picture him as like Mexican or Puerto Rican but that's just cuz the town I grew up had a large Puerto Rican group).

It doesn't help that his eyesight is even more shit in Hell. He can't see what he's doing hald the time. It ruins his art hobby too. He's overall just more easily frustrated with his bad eyesight.

I don't imagine you guys dating per se. Maybe you're his sugar baby, maybe you're someone he hired to help him do stuff like clean and organize and you just sorta start doing other things to help him. (Again I'm not saying it excuses jackshit, but as someone who worked with bipolar people and people with mood disorder I kinda see the fan theory in him, either way I think all the Vees could be sort of trained to be better people, but especially Val. We already saw Vox do it.)

After all, he's usually in a much better mood if you do and that means less outbursts. The first few times you cook him something he teases you about being his housewife, tries to make it sexual. It's not really something he clocks as being an act of love because I don't think you'd realize it yourself at first. I think the more you got to see him when he wasn't stressed, lashing out, being abusive, you'd start catching feelings. ("I can fix him", delulu asses)

He loves to be in the kitchen when you cook once it starts becoming a regular thing. He can't see clearly what you're doing but the way you move around the kitchen and get what you need, even if you're an ADHD mess and do steps out of order or at random, he can tell you know what you're doing. He likes to smell the food too while it's cooking.

He will ask you to try and make some spicier/more traditional foods he grew up with, but he doesn’t remember all of the ingredients, and it just gets him more frustrated he can't tell you. If you look them up and surprise him with it it'll probably be the most genuine, human response you get from him.

He's shocked, silent, standing frozen in the penthouse as familiar smells waft around him. You present him a plate nervously, practically shaking hoping it's good enough. The first bite nearly puts him in tears. No one's done anything this nice for him? Why would you? Lowkey thinks you want something from him. It's gonna make him paranoid for a while so don't expect a verbal compliment but he eats it all.

Eventually though, one day when you're in the kitchen cooking, humming softly and swaying your hips, one set of his arms will wrap around your waist, the other reaching around you help with the salsa, or wrap a tamale, and he'll prop his chin on your head and mumble out thanks. Some praise, maybe. Would definitely tell you stories about eating these foods growing up.

It's the first step towards having an actual relationship with him.

Alastor

This man almost always insists on cooking. He isn't much of a sweet tooth either. You tell him one night you want to try cooking for him. Tell him you understand it's an activity he enjoys and relaxes too, (especially if you know it's something that reminds him of his mother), but you want to do something for him and this is one way you show you care.

It's gonna remind him of his Mama so much that if you didn't know why he loved cooking so much before you do now. He compromises. You pick the meal and gather the ingredients and do most of the cooking and he helps prep and does dishes.

He playfully critiques you the entire time about adding some spice too it or a little southern flair. Just smack him with the wooden spoon, gently. It's gonna make him laugh because his Mama used to do that when he wouldn't keep out of the sweets, or tried to add stuff to her cooking.

Once you start it becomes habit to help each other in the kitchen every night, trading off who cooks and who preps and does dishes.

If you do find baked goods he likes that aren't too sweet and send them to him as snacks, especially to Overlord meetings, he's so fucking obnoxious about his sweet little doe (doesn't matter if you are one or not) and how they spoil him. Especially rubs it in Vox's face (not him whining to his partner so they send him with treats too so he can also brag).

Only shares with Charlie, Rosie, Niffty, and sometimes Zestiel. If he's feeling generous, Husk can have a bite.

Low-key also has a thing for his partner behaving domestically even if he isn't exactly invested in traditional marriage.

Favorite activity though is dancing with you in the kitchen to jazz while dinner cooks, holding you close, in his room usually, so he can hear the sounds of the bayou. If he closes his eyes he can pretend this is how his life went and that his Mama is in the corner or sitting in her chair, watching him, happy to see him find someone.

He will literally kiss Vox willingly before admitting that last part though.

Lucifer

It's not that he can't cook, it's just....it's easier to just snap his fingers and make food appear. He's been in a depressed slump for decades man, he's lived off of the 'want food, no cook, only eat' mindset.

When you come into his life it's a complete overhaul. Despite what issues you have yourself you can recognize someone in worse state than you and immediately categorize and prioritize. First thing first, get this man's duck collection/obsession organized, thinned out, and under control.

Second, help him work through his issues with Lillith and Charlie. Encourage therapy, be a mediator between him and Charlie (and trust me she appreciates it. She knows her dad struggles, didn't know how bad, and still feels awkward). Help him socialize more, rebuild his connection with the other sins.

Get this man a work schedule!

Then it's on to personal habits. You help him get out of bed, you're both probably a little helpless in the sleeping on time category though. Help him get a routine again to keep out of his funk. Then you start cooking for him. It just happens naturally. You enjoy cooking, you enjoy showing people you love how much you care by providing good meals.

At first he's gonna resist and tell you he can handle that, you already do so much for him. He can cook or better yet he can just make it appear and you laugh and tell him it tastes better when it's made with love. He brushes it off as a joke too, you're both just being silly and obviously you said that to get him to quit fussing. Except, unholy hell does it actually taste so much better.

Lucifer hadn’t realized how bland and unsatisfying just materializing the food was. Maybe that's because he was so depressed and uninterested in what he ate, maybe not. Either way, your cooking is so much fucking better. He actually looks forward to eating now. If he gets caught up in work or has a bad day, you make sure to always bring him something, leaving it as an offering of sorts. It almost always works and entices him to eat at least once.

You cook, he does dishes, and he will not budge on that rule. He wants to be a fair man. He occasionally boots you out to do dessert, though. Apple pie is his bitch and you've never tasted one as good as his. He also makes good pancakes and some absolutely orgasmic angel's food cake.

Ironicall, devil's food cake is one of your go to recipes. Sometimes you both make a cake and take it to events just to watch people get confused as fuck when it's revealed the literal Devil did not make the devil's food cake.

Everyime you're in the kitchen together it's a disaster, you're both to silly and chaotic. You were making noodles one time and he threw flour at you so you smacked him with the noodle you were holding, leaving a line of flour and a speck of dough against his cheek. From there it escalates. It happens every time. Making cakes together, you're smashing frosting on each other. Making cookies, you're fighting each other to stop eating cookie dough.

Once, after you get fed up with him stealing her spatula to lick the chocolate off of, hovering above you with his wings, you pout and bat your eyes, asking him sweetly to please give it back. He swoops down in front of you, booping your nose to smear chocolate on it and leaning in to kiss you, letting you have a taste of the chocolate batter you were mixing for brownies. While his tongue is in your mouth, drunk off the taste of you and chocolate you smash an egg over his head and let out a triumphant cheer, snatching back your spatula.

He's so stunned his wings disappear and he drops the last few inches to the ground while you cackle. His heart is pounding, his ears are ringing, and his chest feels like it's gonna explode. His eyes are literal sparkles. He hasn't felt this much joy, wonder, and love since Charlie was born. It feels like witnessing creation all over again, of the breathlessness he felt when he first saw Lillith.

You're laughter stops when you realize he's just staring at you awestruck and you smile, asking if he's ok.

"For once...yeah..Yes. I'm ok." He responds, genuinely. You kiss his cheek and resume baking. He watches you from the counter now, dreamily, thinking about how he's gonna marry you someday.

[shaylogic]

Queer Experience Watching Barbie - AFAB Masculinity

I started to go into this in tags on another post but I wanted to type this up separately and try to develop my thoughts a little more. . .

Ryan!Ken’s arc in Barbie (2023) has been buzzing in my head for days.

I got fixated on it for a couple of major reasons:

1) We rarely have seen a feminist movie take time to address men with compassion in how patriarchy harms them too.

2) As a trans masc person, I think it hits a specific part of my identity that I don’t consciously let myself think about for too long. Something about being raised in a female world with sisterhood and community. Then being isolated in adult manhood without the tools to prepare you for that. Conscientious of respecting women and being unbothered by feminimity around you, but not knowing your place in the world.

How do I put it?

I know it’s not the direct intention of the film itself, but I’ve seen other trans folks (especially transmasc), reacting similarly to the feeling we get from it.

Ken’s arc feels pretty reminicent of the struggle afab lgbt folks go through when considering masculinity in their identity (butch lesbians, afab nbs, trans men, etc.)

How to make peace with masculine aspects of yourself without losing the women in your life? (One can argue Kate McKinnon’s Weird Barbie has aspects of this as well.)

Of course, then Ken goes off on the adopting patriarchy ride, which IS the point of the movie, and may skew a bit from the transmasc read on it--though I have known a trans guy here and there who avoids being misgendered so hard that they can become somewhat sexist. To which I say: “You don’t need to have a dick to be a man, and you don’t need to BE a dick to be a man.” But I digress.

Something about Ken being comfortable in a woman’s world but not understanding why he’s being shut out from socially bonding with them (in any sense! Romantic, Familial, Platonic Friendship. . .)

The overall theme of the movie for both Barbie and Ken--in an allegory of heavy gender roles harming all--leading them each to have to figure out who they are in themselves, regardless of others. . . 

Trans masc folx can relate to both Barbie and Ken’s arcs.

I don’t want to detract from Barbie’s arc being the main point of the movie.

I think the reason why we get hung up on Ryan!Ken’s character is because. . . we’ve related to the Barbie plot in other movies and shows before, thinking back to our “girlhoods” as children.

I have never seen the arc Ken has in this in any other story!!!!

There are some Man Movies that have attempted to discuss the struggle of Being a Man--but they often come off as too dismissive of feminine experiences, and are therefore as offputting to transmasc people as women.

Because of the nature of the two worlds exhibited in this movie, and Ken’s backround in his setting, personality, and purpose in relation to the Barbies, he’s a Man living with Female Socialization, in a Woman’s World; he’s a male character that inherently admires and respects women in his nature (until the real world influence distorts it).

This isn’t a perfect example of a transmasc experience either, but it’s a lot closer than most of us generally get to see! That’s why so many of us are getting caught up in this.

Please, other trans folx (transfems, too!), I really need us to have a discussion about this. What were your experiences and thoughts around this movie?

P.S. Yeah, we kinda get that nonbinary allegory from Allan (not a Ken, not a Barbie, siding with Feminism in the Gender War), but he wasn’t in significant focus of the plot the way Ryan!Ken was. If I try to read into Allan, I don’t have much to work with.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Look, This is gonna be one of those things that sounds bad until you read the whole story. Please don't read the title and go to 'yta' without reading.

AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

Look, My brother ISNT trans. He likes to wear kilts and sew, Which is what kind of started all of this. My brother is NOT trans, He loves being a boy (trust me, I can hear him enjoying being a boy in his room all the time. Theres no way he'd wanna chop it off(I mean this as a joke I don't actually know how the surgery works), He's told me multiple times that being told by others what he likes is 'feminine' and 'girly' upsets him because he's proud of being a boy and doesn't like being called a girl. Its not because he hates girls or thinks less of them, He just does not like being called the wrong gender which I'm sure you want to be called the correct gender too.)

Anyways lets begin. I (16F) am my little brothers (15M) best friend, Basically. We grew up together and do everything together, Including sewing. I liked it when I was younger, And eventually convinced him to try it as well. He loved it, And we love just sitting together and making random crap we usually end up selling at our yearly garage sale. (Our mom makes us sell all our unneeded crap every year, But we aren't complaining when we make like $100 for it, Mom and dad even help us figure out what we actually wanna keep (we sometimes see old things and go 'Oh I could never get rid of this' and then throw it away))

Sorry for the rambling, But you'll see why some of this is important to know.

Basically, We were getting our shit together for the garage sale, And invited over a mutual friend of ours, Who I'll call uhhh Ley (16F). Shes kind of obsessed with the LGBTQ and loves to help people 'realize' they're gay or trans or non-binary. By this I mean she'll literally bully people she 'knows' is gay or trans by always telling them they are and spreading rumors about them saying they are. The way she 'knows' these things are from gut feelings. I thought maybe she needed friends who would be honest with her and tell her gently that it needed to stop. She stopped being so bad with it and we even convinced her to admit to the rumors she started being fake. We've known her for around 3 years now, And she's stopped doing it as aggressively for 2 of those years. She still makes jabs and 'jokes' saying things like "Oh thats so girly, Are you sure you're not trans?" and "Oh thats such a boy thing to do, Are you a lesbian?", Both quotes she's said to me and my brother less than a week ago. I am straight and cis, So is my brother. We have nothing against the lgbt, We just aren't apart of it. We support the lgbtq as much as possible (with my part time job I like to donate some of my paycheck towards point of pride so people who need the surgeries or binders can get them), And are very open about supporting them.

While we were cleaning out my brothers room and finding stuff to throw into the 'sell' box (we like to do precleaning before our parents help us, It makes everything faster and less work on the people trying to help), And Ley found my brothers kilt. She did a long exaggerated gasp, Looking at my brother.

"So, How long have you been trans? Why didn't you tell me?? I knew it the whole time!"

My brother tried to explain that it was a kilt for men, And he wasn't trans, But she kept interrupting him saying crap like 'you don't have to lie I know now' and 'Its nothing to be embarrassed about, I knew ever since you started to sew'. The last straw for me was when she continued not listening to him and started to ask about how he was gonna come out as school. I yelled at her to get out, That neither of us were gay, Neither of us are trans, And neither of us are apart of any of the lgbtq. We are allies and nothing more. She tried to argue that he had a 'skirt' which OBVIOUSLY meant he was trans, I basically screamed at her that she was a stupid know it all who made everyone who wasn't apart of the lgbtq's life hell because she made sure everyone knew them as someone they arent (I know, I shouldn't of brought up 2 years in the past) and that I was tired of her trying to force everyone to be in the LGBTQ when its just not realistic. Not everyone is gay or trans, Some people are cis and straight. She started crying and left, We haven't spoken in a few days but I think I'm justified. I'm tired of living my life being told I'm something I'm not, I'm tired of seeing it happen to my brother too.

My brother later thanked me for standing up for him, Telling me it made him really upset when she said those things. To cheer him up we watched his favorite movies and I made him his favorite dinner (mom and dad both work day jobs so we both make lunch and dinner)

And for those who are gonna say that allies are apart of the LGBTQ I strongly believe the A is for aro/ace. Being an ally isn't a gender or sexuality

(unless people identify using ally/allyself of course or whatever it is, I'm not quite sure how neos work or whatever but I love to see how creative people get with it and am happy it gives people who don't identify with any of the normalized(? Idk the correct term but yknow the man woman and nb) genders a chance to be who they actually are)

Extra info on why I think I could be the asshole: I feel like we might've been able to explain it if we got her to shut up for a minute, But she kept talking over us. I feel like I went too far by insulting her, And I feel like I might be TA because she's also autistic (so is my brother though, And I have ADHD).

Why I think I'm NTA: My brother is really quiet and doesn't really defend himself often. He doesn't really know how to stand up for himself and is 'easy' to talk over (soft spoken, Quiet talking voice and nonconfrontational) which is why I believe I had to step in in his place, And I don't believe I did anything wrong defending my brother and making her stop calling him what hes not.

Anyways. AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

To see later: PINK PANTHER

What are these acronyms?

[ingydar-phan]

I think people are misinterpreting my stance on dangender. So let me say more, I guess.

- I am not indirecting anybody. This is a wide topic with varying ideas in it. My stances aren’t about the participants, they’re about the topic itself.

- I do not think having this stance is inherently harmful, transphobic, or unethical. I think some aspects can be rooted in harmful things but believing in dangender doesn’t make someone a bad person.

- My issue isn’t about boundaries themselves or crossing lines DNP have set. I know some people agreeing with me are making it about that, but that’s not what it’s about for me. I am super icked out by people who think they’re doing some sort of holy work by “protecting” their “innocent blorbos” or whatever from other peoples opinions/speculation. I’m not trying to be like “how dare you! If he saw this his feelings would be hurt!”. In fact, I think if Dan were to see dangender posts, he’d probably giggle, tilt his head, and be like “hmm yea ok I see what you’re saying!”. Im not trying to decipher what lines DNP have laid out themselves about what’s ok and what’s too much. Nobody can do that accurately besides DNP themselves, and this is a fandom space, so that’s not what I’m worried about, even though people seem to think it is.

I think it is absolutely true that having queer people in the phandom pre-BIG discussing DNPs relationship and queerness was a huge part of empowering Dan to come out. He’s said it in BIG, he said it in TIT, he’s said it a lot. Their community being nosy gays is how he found the space to come out. I know this. I affirm and agree with this.

My issue is there’s a difference between laying ground for mind-opening, and acting like there’s a confirmed secret being hidden from us when it comes to Dans gender. So, the difference between thinking “maybe if Dan really dug into what his gender could be, knowing it’s a safe space, he may come out with an idea of something more complex than cis” and thinking “he is for a fact trans/enby and already knows this, he’s just hiding it, and trying to hint it at everyone through these secret codes.”

All the jokes about phyuri and DNP looking like lesbians, the calling Dan “she” or “wife”, wanting DNP to watch I Saw The TV Glow, transmascs seeing themselves in Dan, that IS the community opening our arms and saying to be free to feel however you want to feel and express yourself however you desire. That’s so beautiful.

Collecting evidence that you surely know better than Dan himself that he’s actually secretly trans and hiding it is just, different, and is what makes me uncomfortable.

Lest we not forget that gender and sexuality, that queerness as a whole, are intertwined. A young confused traumatized Dan feeling urges to express femininity is just queerness itself, not specifically transness. Queer men are often inherently viewed as feminine, and going outside of strict gender expectations is a part of gayness for many gay men. Feeling like you’re different from your peers, like you want to express yourself outside of the norm, is tied into all forms of queerness. Dan is gay: he knows he’s gay, he’s worked hard to call himself gay. Gayness is queerness, and queerness is unique expression. His complex feelings about non-masculine expression tie into his gayness because he is a queer man. Him having those complex feeling about expression and self image do not mean he’s trans. They mean he’s queer period. What type of queer is up to him; and clearly the expression and label of queerness that he finds most accurate to himself is gay man. You can be a cis gay person and still have your queerness attach to your gender without it making you trans.

May he one day in the future find that that complex expression of queerness goes into his gender to the extent of transness? Maybe! I don’t know! Would I support him? Of course! Would I look back regretfully? No! I’m not attempting to prevent anyone from building a welcoming space. I just don’t like this assertion of specific labels and the idea that you know better than him. That is it.

[mayonesamitch]

Queerness In Ninjago (Spoiler alert, it's very queer)

Contains spoilers

I honestly don't see the queer side of Ninjago being talked about enough. Probably because half of the fandom are immature homophobic people but that's not gonna stop me writing a whole post about it on Tumblr that probably no one is gonna see. I'm gonna be looking at specific characters and at the canon part of it. I do have my own headcanons and stuff but I'm gonna try to forget about those for the sake of this post.

First, let's start out with a character who is almost 95% canon to be part of the LGBTQ+ community, Sally. She's a side character and doesn't play much of a role in the series after The Benefit of Grief but I feel like she's still worth mentioning. She has the progress pride flag on her guitar and the back of her dad's van which shows that she's definitely a supporter.

You can also see the bisexual flag on her guitar case, which tells us that she's bisexual! They don't do much about with it after this but it's still good to have some representation, even if it's not a big part of the story. This is probably the only instance where a character has had their sexual orientation shown in Ninjago.

The episode where we see her in the most, The Benefit of Grief, can be viewed as an allegory of coming out, which I touch more on here, but in case you're too lazy, I'll just explain how here. The basic premise of the episode is her running away from home because she wants to move to Ninjago City and get big in the music industry. However after a while she starts to feel guilty about it, but I'd afraid to go back in fear that her parents won't forgive her. With the help of Zane she makes the decision to go back home with her parents. Her parents forgive her and woo yay happy ending.

This episode can be taken as a coming out experience. Think about it. You hide your sexual orientation/gender identity from your family, friends, or others in your life. You feel guilty about it but also afraid to come out, out of fear that they won't accept you. It's a pretty good allegory. It most likely wasn't intentional but it will always be in my head because how can you write such a good allegory like that with a canon queer character as the main character and not calm it intentional? That's all that I have to say about Sally though.

Now let's get started with these 2 girlies. They competed in the Terra Technica Dance-Off in season 12, Prime Empire. They were heavily treated like a lesbian couple in the episode. So heavily that the episode got banned in a few places around the world. Tommy Andreasen said that it was up to the fans to decide so though it wasn't really confirmed it's heavily implied. They were only side characters so we don't get to see much of them after this episode but it shows how Lego will be willing to add some gay in the show.

I've been talking about sexual orientation for some time now it's time we talk about gender-queer characters (Gender-Queer is an umbrella label which applies to genders outside the male/female gender binary like non-binary, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, ect.) in Ninjago. One of the Algae Farmers in Dragons Rising have the Non-binary flag attached to them. The person who voices them (Niah Davis) Is also Non-binary. The character didn't have much of a role but it's still super cool to see. (I'm trans so of course I was so happy when I saw it being explicitly showed like this)

The Source Dragon of Life is also non-binary. Which is another character voiced by Niah Davis. The dragon uses they/them pronouns throughout the show and was later confirmed in a tweet. This character actually does play a big role in the series and is the source of Lloyd's power. (Which means Lloyd is non-binary too. /J) They'll also most likely have a big role in season 3 when that comes out. So is every character Niah Davis voices non-binary? Heck yeah!

Now these next 3 instances of queerness in Ninjago are very minor but they include 2 instances of 2 male characters kissing and a rainbow sidewalk. Now, some can argue that the sidewalk can be unrelated to the LGBTQ+ community but it was changed to be a white sidewalk in some places in the world, so it was very intentionally to be LGBTQ+. Some may also argue that the 2 male characters kissing can just be a man and a masculine woman but Ninjago very rarely adds masculine woman, so yes, it's like 99.9% 2 men kissing in both instances. Which isn't much but is still showing that Lego isn't afraid to add some gay in the show.

Now I wanna talk about Jay. Before I hear anyone talk about his relationship with Nya hear me out for a bit. Jay is heavily implied to also have an attraction to male characters which leads me to believe that he's probably a bisexual.

First, I want to talk about this clip. Out of context, it looks very much like a marriage proposal and Jay is saying yes with such a smile on his face. Now, it's just a fake marriage proposal and he realizes after and is kinda confused but anyways. What kind of straight man says "Yes! :D" like that to marriage proposal? (Side note: The Ying-Yang promise in Ninjago is not marriage. I'm just calling it marriage because it will make more sense. It's most likely engagement but that's too long to type) I mean, it seems like he really meant it. Which lead me to believe that he's probably a bisexual.

Also the whole Sweating to the Goldies short is very gay. He's very touchy towards Zane and dances with him and stuff. Though song on the end does include both of them but in the beginning it's mostly Jay doing the gay action. He's extremely flirty with Zane and seems to genuinely mean it. Now that's not me trying to say he likes Zane, since he obviously loves Nya, but I think if Nya wasn't an option, he wouldn't mind being with one of his ninja comrades.

He's also shown to be attracted to Nadakhan's voice. Calling it "beguiling." (Beguiling - Charming or enchanting, often in a deceptive way.) and also calling him a "Silky-voiced seducer." He's also the only ninja in the show to express how attractive his voice is which lead me to believe that he can be attracted to the voice of a male character. Of course, he's not attracted to Nadakhan himself, but acknowledging that he had an attractive voice is no doubt pretty gay. Which is another reason why I believe he's most likely bisexual.

Also another clip related to Kai, he calls him, "Kai baby." Which, c'mon, you don't just call your homies that. That's definitely a sign that he has no problem flirting with other men. Honestly, after season 7, he's been the most gay ninja of the group, despite being one of the only ones having a girlfriend. (Zane was also one of the only ninja to have a girlfriend at the time too but Zane isn't as gay as him) Now if I'm gonna do a little theorizing here, but I think that he's not at peace with his sexual orientation and is now willing to tease and flirt with the other ninja. I know I said I'd keep my headcanons out of this but I'd call it a theory more than a headcanon. (Edit: I, for some reason, can't upload a clip of it so you get a picture of it instead sorry. XD)

Jay is also just 10 times more touchy than the other ninja. A straight male would normally not be comfortable with this amount of touch from their male friend but Jay doesn't mind. He's pretty chill with it and treats it like it's an everyday thing. Which is very very gay. And sure, they're his friends and they've lived together for basically half of their lives but I've lived with my sister for all of my life and she's not even comfortable with me hugging her without permission (or really anyone) so yeah this kind of touch isn't very straight.

And since we're in the topic of Jay, I want to talk about the most villainous and evil character of Ninjago, FugiDove! He's very touchy towards Jay in the series and even sacrificed himself just to save him. He calls Jay is wingman and wants to be with him a lot. Which is very big implications of FugiDove being gay. And the writers of the show aren't stupid they know what they're doing. So all of these little things are definitely implications of him being gay. Which also applies to Jay and Cole.

Speaking of Cole, yes, it's finally time we talk about him. All throughout the show Cole doesn't have a love interest. All of the Ninja had one (Jay with Nya, Zane with Pixal, Kai with Skylor) and yet, he hasn't had one. Some may argue that he liked Nya in season 3 but it's confirmed in this tweet that he was just confused by the attention and never really had a crush on her. Some can also claim that he had a crush on Vania but their interactions don't seem very romantic. More like a friendship kind of interaction.

Now, in Dragons Rising we finally see some sort of actual romance with him. He basically raised a whole family with Geo and has a very strong connection with him. They're very close, and you have to remember that Geo is kinda shy and scared to open up to others, and he's pretty vulnerable to Cole. They're also touchy and don't seem to mind it, which leads me to believe that he might some sort of attraction to Geo, a male character. Also Doc Wyatt seems to support a relationship between the 2. So if it became canon, it wouldn't shock me honestly.

Also the episode where Cole finds his true potential is literally an allegory for coming out. I explain it here but I'll explain it again here for the people who are too lazy. Basically the whole episode is him trying his best to hide his identity of a ninja to his father since his father wanted him to be a dancer. Later in his dad find out and is pretty mad at him but after a whole performance and stuff he's accepting of his son and yay they're a happy family. (Watch the episode here I'm bad at explaining.)

Now, if you think about it, it's very much like coming out. He's hiding his identity out of fear that his father won't accept him as his son. He comes out to his father as a ninja and his father is upset about that. Now flip Ninja with the word gay and bam you get the perfect coming out story coming from Lego. I don't think it was intentional but it could very much be as wel. Again, the writers aren't stupid. They know what they're doing. So yeah, I view this episode as an allegory for coming out.

So, yeah, Ninjago is pretty queer. There's a few more examples I wanted to show but then it would be way too long and it's already 11:15PM. Anyways, if you want to sum up everything I'm saying, Ninjago isn't afraid to add some queer representation in the show, Jay is bisexual, and Cole is gay. Or that I'm an overthinker who loves yapping I dunno. And before anyone gets mad, this is going based of the canon. I'd like to think of it as building a headcanon based on canon. You can still have your own headcanons. I honestly don't care. Anyways, if you're still here thank you for staying until the end and reading the thoughts I've had in my head for a while.

[cowboyjen68]

how do I get my family comfortable around my gf. they aren't keen on people dating the same gender and my gf is a lovely masc butch but my family finds it odd she wants to be a boy but she doesn't

Sometimes you just can't or don't bother. I know their anxiety or awkwardness feels as uncomfortable to you as your relationship does to them. It is only natural we want our families approval or at least attempt to be nice and acceptance of the person who means most to us.

This might not be the answer you want but here is what I have learned. IT is often the long game. You both show up. You answer questions with as much respect as you can while also not allowing them to push your boundaries. Letting them know when they are crossing a line and helping them to reframe concerns or confusion in a way that lets you (or her) answer in a productive manner is a skill you will learn.

Her personality and likeability will help them to start to interact with her as a human and not the representation of someone they perceive as incomprehensible.

If she uses butch try that on for size. This is something I have learned working with old guys in farm country. They know what a butch lesbian is and in a very weird way that descriptor might set them at ease. It it might help them to understand that she is not "trying" to be anything she just is as she is and they don't need to dig any deeper.

There is no reason to start any battles or constantly try to explain. Sometimes you just go, enjoy the family time and if brought up you can try saying things like "isn't there something better to talk about" or humorously changing the subject. "Why would I want a man when I can have a woman who can ALSO open jars and get me flowers?" Laughter and laughing at yourself a bit can bring about a lighter air in the room and perhaps remove some of the awkwardness. If they know that you don't expect them to "get it" you just want them to leave it alone they might feel less on egg shells or just more apathetic. My ex once said to her mom "Well, she is not a man but she'd be happy to give some tips to your husband on how to dress". Got real quiet, then laughter, then it was kinda dropped.

I don't know the dynamic of your family but time, patience and humor is my suggestion.

Remembering it is not your problem but theirs and if things continue to be cruddy you have the right to opt out of further gatherings. It sucks to step away a bit but the blame would be in their hands and not yours.

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[genderqueerdykes]

whats your banner about? /genq btw cuz i personally havent seen anything abt that so if u could fill me in on it id appreciate that

/not forced to answer, im just curious abt it

hey sure i'm happy to elaborate!

it's in response to the amount of folks who deem it okay to refuse to let transmascs and men into non binary and queer spaces because mascs and men "scare women and enbies" or are "unsafe to be around" or even "look too cis and make people uncomfortable". i've seen a massive pushback lately to completely and totally remove transmascs and men from the queer community because men are "dangerous". the same hatred and vitriol that people have for cishet men is being applied to trans men. ESPECIALLY straight trans men. straight trans men are treated like absolute shit and are labeled as dangerous and predatory.

i've also had the unfortunate displeasure of overhearing MANY queer folks that trans men aren't queer or trans, we're just "confused" or "butch lesbians". like i have heard this from other trans people. it's an unfortunate reality that some people literally refuse to see trans men and mascs as queer, because for some reason people view queerness as feminine or gender neutral only. i've literally heard people say that trans men can't call ourselves trannies because we're not trans. like i have seriously been told by numerous people that trans men AREN'T trans, and that "that's not what being trans means." i've met so many people who think the only way to be trans is transfem and it's been painful

i've unfortunately befriended several transfems who would gladly go on tirades and rants about how transmascs and men bring a "bad light" to the community, that trans men and mascs are insufferable and dangerous to be around because testosterone can "turn you into a monster," and i've even been told that i'm ruining my body. i've been told that people don't view me as trans because nobody WANTS to be a man for anything but nefarious reasons. many people say that trans men want to be men so they can engage in the patriarchy and oppress other people. i've been told by some people that they believed i transitioned so i could "have more power"

i got tired of seeing people think it's okay to ostracize trans men because they have trauma they need to work on. people blame the entirety of men and manhood on their problems, and project it on to trans men. it's sad and insidious. i've heard from SO MANY trans mascs and men who literally just do not feel comfortable in any queer spaces they try to attend because of how ostracized they feel, or how people would bully them and tell them they were just a confused butch lesbian, tomboy, or masculine girl.

hope that made sense to you! some people have really charged and heated opinions about trans men and mascs and if we belong in the queer community. i got sick of it. femininity, womanhood and gender neutrality are not the only ways to be queer

[lizzieisright]

At least I got you in my head (smutty bonus)

prologue (8) end

Can you read it on it's own? Yes!

Summary: In the beginning of your relationship you ask Abby to go slow for her own sake, because you don't want to overwhelm her with gayness. Abby, on the other hand, is so sexually frustrated she can't think about anything except sex.

Tags: first time with a woman (Abby), communication (they can't shut the fuck up! i love it for them), top!Abby, oral, fingering, Abby turns into a victorian man once again.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites @rhae-blackqueen @vea-vea-vea @mnim58e @chubeline @strgrlxox @chrry1ovr @littletinyladybugs @shaemonyou @luvrmunson @saffronssapphic @zootedhoe @2012wannabe @elcantsleep (don't know if you guys would want to be tagged in this, sorry if not!)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Abby was in fucking heaven. Being out and dating someone as gorgeous and smart as you? Being able to come back home to you? What could be better than that?

You were so attentive and understanding, caring, Abby even felt a little awkward, not really used to a partner who cares. You two talked a lot about being gay and how it changed both of you and how it was still changing Abby. 

The first thing Abby enjoyed about being a lesbian was: she got to be dominant. With men she didn't really have an outlet for her natural dominance because well, gender roles and even if boys were okay with her being more assertive, they still expected her to be more of a seductress than what she had in mind. With you Abby got to enjoy initiating things the way she wanted to, grabbing you and kissing you, pressing you against all surfaces in the apartment - her favourite was picking you up and putting you on a kitchen counter where she could grope your thighs all she wanted - and you enjoyed it too. You told her so many times how much you loved her strength and Abby felt drunk on it, having someone to see it as something attractive instead of an obstacle.

"I'm scared to hurt you." Abby said, restraining herself from gripping you harder.

"Okay. We can do something with this." You smiled at her, your arms around her neck as you played with her braid. "Squeeze my thigh and I'll tell you if it hurts."

Abby squeezed carefully, not really using her strength, scared.

"Harder." Abby squeezed harder. "More." Now Abby felt like she was getting closer to what she wanted to do, but she was still anxious.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not yet. More."

Abby squeezed like she wanted the whole time, fighting her anxiety - you wouldn't lie to her, right?

"More."

Abby looked at you, surprised, but squeezed even more harder, digging her fingers into your thighs.

"Yeah that hurts a little, but still okay. Remember this feeling, okay? That's how hard you can go without hurting me. Works for you?"

How did you manage to fix all her worries Abby had no idea, but fuck she was thankful to have her first relationship with someone so understanding and open-minded when she was not sure what she was doing. It felt like fucking puberty all over again.

Abby was super fucking horny. Never in her life did she think about sex so much as she was thinking these days. And you were fucking mean. 

(you were level-headed and wanted the best for her)

You told Abby you didn't want to rush things and let her have time to actually settle in her skin and not go head first into things so she wouldn't freak out, and yes, it made perfect fucking sense so Abby agreed to it. 

Did she know you would not rush things for a month? No she fucking didn't.

No she fucking didn't. 

Every time when Abby'd try to get a little further you wouldn’t let her, and if Abby could understand why two weeks ago, now she was thinking the problem was not that she was too excited, but it was something to do with you. 

So the next time when Abby put her hands under your shirt while you were making out in the kitchen and you tried to stop her, Abby decided to confront you about it. 

"You know, you told me we don't have to jump straight to sex, but you don't let me touch you at all." Abby said as she stood in front of you, bracketing you with her arms by your sides. "Why do I feel like it's not about me? If you're not ready to have sex for your own reasons that's fine, but-" Abby stopped, trying to find the right words to get her point across. "You can't make it look like this is about me when in reality it's about you."

"I just-" You averted your eyes from her. "I'm really scared. You're so important to me and I don't want to fuck it up. Fuck." You looked up and Abby saw how your eyes watered and it shocked her. Why was it so serious for you? 

“Hey, look at me.” Abby took your face into her hands and made you look at her. You were on a brink of tears and Abby got worried. “What are you afraid of?”

You took a deep breath to calm down, irrationally nervous - you felt like an idiot. You knew objectively you were one, but annoying thoughts that consumed you in the past days sounded like a pretty plausible theory. Though now, when Abby cornered you and voiced her concerns you wanted to slam yourself in the face - you were an idiot. You knew exactly how to do it right, but instead you got delusional.

“I’m sorry. I was scared that once we have sex you’d be like ‘nope, this is weird, I’m actually straight’, but now when I hear myself say it I understand how stupid I sound.”

Abby looked at you, frowning. 

“Yes, you do.” Abby said seriously. “You should’ve told me instead of deciding for me.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” You said honestly, looking at Abby and not shying away from her anger. She had every right to be angry with you. “I won’t push you away anymore.”

“No, listen, this is not the issue here.” Abby said impatiently and moved away to sit on the chair while you were still sitting on the kitchen counter. “It’s the fact that you don’t tell me what’s going on in your head. If you’re nervous and want to wait just say it, don’t cover it up with my lack of experience. Because not only is it condescending, but also makes it seem like you don’t trust me to decide what I want.” You heard the hurt and annoyance in Abby’s voice and it propelled your guilt into another level.

“You’re right. I got too insecure and it fucked me up. I’m sorry.” You looked at her again, trying to read her emotions. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Abby said under her nose. She was annoyed, but she couldn’t help but understand you. “I can’t believe someone as smart as you are can be so stupid.”

“I become very stupid when it comes to you.” You chuckled. It was true - all your confidence and rationality went out of the window when Abby was concerned. 

“Yeah. Should’ve expected that.” Abby chuckled in return, softened by the fact that you liked her so much it turned you into an idiot. “Come here.”

You went over to Abby and she hugged you around your waist, poking your stomach with her nose.

“Next time be honest. Because I know I wanna fuck you.”

You swallowed as arousal washed over you. Your grip in her hair tightened and Abby looked up, smirking.

 “You liked it, didn’t you?” 

“You really want to?” You asked, ignoring her question, still worried that Abby didn’t know what she was signing up for. 

“Yeah. I really want to.” Abby squeezed your butt and you yelped, surprised. “Do you?”

“We should build up our way here. Start with something.. small and safe.”

“You and your fucking worrying, I swear to god. You think I don’t know what naked girls look like?”

“But what about-”

Abby narrowed her eyes at you and you shut up.

“Be honest.” Abby ordered and your knees grew weak.

“Promise me to stop if you start to freak out.” 

“Promise me to get out of your head. Otherwise I am going to freak out.” 

“Okay.”

“Good.” Abby stood up and tugged you in the direction of her bedroom, surprising you.

“What, you want to have sex now?”

“I’ve been waiting for a month, I’m not waiting any longer.”

You smiled and followed Abby to her bedroom - you noticed how impatient she was by how fast she was walking and how hard she was squeezing your hand, and once you entered the room, she spun around and pressed you into the door, kissing you. Abby wasn’t wasting time, immediately tugging your shirt off, fully knowing you didn’t have a bra on. So the moment your shirt hit the floor, Abby moved away a little just to look at you. 

It was suddenly hard for her to breathe and her mouth literally watered as she stared at your tits, mesmerised. Abby wanted to put her mouth everywhere on your skin, so she pressed you back into the door, kissing you roughly as she caressed your sides before cupping your tits and groaning into your mouth: your tits were so fucking soft. You throbbed at the sound and arched into Abby to get closer while you carefully tugged on her shirt and she moved away again to impatiently pull her shirt off and throw it somewhere. Abby still had her sports bra on and you let her decide if she wanted it off, which she apparently didn’t.

“Bed.” Abby ordered in a low husky voice and you got wet just from this intonation. 

“Tell me what you want.” You told her and walked her to the bed until she fell on it and you straddled her. 

“Holy shit.” Abby looked at you, naked on top of her and she just couldn’t stop fucking staring, her dominance crumbling as she started to feel like a virgin, nervous and so fucking horny she was probably soaked through her sweats. 

“Are you freaking out?” You asked, getting worried as Abby just stared at you with wide eyes. 

“I- give me a second.” Abby took a few breaths to calm her nerves. Maybe you were right with this let’s not rush thing. “You’re so fucking pretty.” Abby ran her hands up and down your sides, squeezing experimentally. She finally settled on holding your hips, her thumb rubbing over your hip bones.  “What-” Abby swallowed, her throat dry from arousal. “How do I make you feel good?”

“That’s what you want?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you thought about it before?” You leaned down and kissed Abby’s neck, making her sigh and tighten the grip on your hips as you licked her skin. 

“A million fucking times, god.” Abby ran her hands up and rubbed your back. She could feel your nipples on her abs and it sent shivers down her spine. 

“Let’s start with this. Do what you want to do in your thoughts.”

Abby gripped your waist and rolled you on your back, pressing you down into the mattress and you closed your eyes in pleasure - you remembered wondering how it would feel, having Abby between your legs, her weight pressing you down, and now you could say it was absolutely delicious. And Abby watched you, seeing how much you were enjoying it. 

“Do you- do you prefer to bottom?” Abby asked carefully, not sure if it was okay to ask. She sure as shit didn’t enjoy being pressed into the bed, always wanting to fight back, but you were different.

“I like both. Or are you talking about control?” 

“What’s the difference?” Abby asked, a little more calmed down now. In her head it was simple: the one on top was in control.

“You can top and I’ll still tell you what to do and control you. Or you can top and control me, I’ll just lie there and take it.” That sounded fun. The second part of it, at least: having you, confident and collected at all times, under Abby's control - that was a power trip she never knew she needed before. 

“Do you have a preference there?”

“Not really. I just go with the flow.” 

Abby hummed and kissed you, pressing you into the bed harder so she could feel you under her, how your thighs stretched to make space for her. You arched into Abby and bucked your hips in a desperate need of friction and Abby froze. 

That was hot. 

"You okay?"

"Do that again." 

You bucked your hips again with more purpose now and Abby pressed her forehead to yours, panting, before grinding down on you just in time. You gasped, desperate - you wanted Abby to touch you so fucking bad.

"Fuck, this is so hot. Holy shit." Abby murmured. She watched your face, contorted in pleasure as you shamelessly grinded on her. 

"You know, we can get off just like this." You panted, trying to keep your noises down because being loud from some humping that wasn't even good enough was embarrassing. You weren't fifteen. "Just move your thigh between mine and-"

"No." Abby stopped you. "I want to fucking bury my face between your legs and I will."

"Fuck." You whimpered, painfully turned on. Abby and her fucking honesty. "You sure?"

"How do I make you feel so good you won't be able to ask your stupid questions?" Abby chuckled and suddenly got brave. She moved her hand between your bodies and cautiously placed it over your pubic, not quite there yet, but enough to taste the waters. 

You bucked your hips into her hand, so fucking desperate it was ridiculous, no one made you feel this way before - Abby hasn't even done anything yet except kissing and here you were, soaked and greedy. 

"You want me to touch you?" 

Was it dirty talk or was Abby serious? 

"If- if you want to. I'd like it very much." You managed to say with a grin and Abby rolled her eyes.

"That was too polite." Abby laughed, slowly moving her hand down over your clothed cunt. "Save it for Caitlyn."

Abby was nervous, not sure what would be her reaction to touching you like this, even through the sweats you had on - she knew how it felt to touch herself, but touching another woman was still different. She knew she'd probably like it - otherwise she'd not have dreamed about it for so long, but it was still kinda scary.

But Abby's wasn't a coward, so she cupped your pussy slowly and barely held on her groan - you were hot and soft and wet, wet through your fucking pants - and it was a lot to take in, but Abby liked it way more than she expected. And the way you tensed under her, your eyes tightly shut - nothing in her life was hotter than this. 

"Good?"

"Fuck, yes. If you make me cum in my pants I swear to god- ah!" Abby pressed slow circles to where she thought your clit might be and it worked. 

"So that's how you finally shut up." Abby laughed and you kicked her shoulder playfully. "What?"

You opened your mouth to say something again, but Abby leaned down and caught your nipple into her mouth and you twitched and sighed. 

"Fuck, yeah. I like it." You put your hand on Abby's hair and let her play with your tits as long as she wanted. 

Okay, tits were fun, Abby decided, licking and sucking on your nipple while she squeezed the other tit with her free hand. You were making these pretty noises under her and Abby was losing her mind, so turned on it was unbelievable. Your pants were getting wetter and wetter as Abby drew circles on your clit and Abby wanted to feel it. She wanted to feel how wet she got you. Abby let your nipple out with a pop and looked at you. 

"Can I take your pants off?" You opened your mouth and she knew what you were going to say, so she sped up, making you whimper instead. "Nuh-uh. No stupid questions. Can I take your pants off?"

"What the fuck?" You asked yourself as you laughed quietly, breathing hard. "Why do I feel like it's my first time with a girl and not yours? Yeah, take them off."

Abby sat back and tugged them off, taking underwear with them too - she wasn't going to waste her time on a tiny piece of clothing to, what did you say? Build up to it? No, she wasn't a pussy. 

"Because you're worrying too much." Abby said as she helped untangle your pants off your ankles. "Fuck, you have such pretty ankles." Abby drew circles on delicate skin there, the thought that she could connect her fingers around them made her fucking black out from arousal. 

"Thanks." You grinned, but you got nervous: Abby's hands felt like restraints and you weren't a fan of it. But Abby moved her hands up your calves, your knees and stopped at your thighs. 

Abby was at her ultimate goal: you were naked under her and all she needed to do is to spread your thighs and put her mouth on you. But there was a problem. 

Abby actually had no idea how to eat a girl out. Ellie's stories didn't cover that part. 

You noticed Abby's hesitance and reached out to her hand, interlocking your fingers. 

"What's up?"

"I uh." Abby swallowed as she looked you over, naked and pretty and looking at her with such tenderness and understanding Abby wanted to burst. "I don't know how to- How do I eat you out?"

"Oh." You sighed, surprised. You were expecting Abby to tap out, but her innocent question, her trust to be vulnerable and admit she didn't know what to do made your heart swell. "Okay. I can give you directions if you want. Or I can show you on you."

Abby tensed - the idea of you going down on her wasn't something she was ready for yet. 

"Instructions would be nice."

"Okay."

You slowly spread your legs and bent them so Abby'd have a better view - you weren't sure she'd want that, but you trusted her - and Abby stared at your cunt with such intensity your face heated up. Abby was looking at everything, at your pussy lips, at your clit, at your wet hole that was glistening, and her mouth watered. Yeah, she didn't know what to do but fuck she wanted to taste you. 

"Holy shit." Abby greedily squeezed your thighs and got closer, not taking her eyes from your cunt. "Am I in fucking heaven?"

You laughed. 

"You really want to do this, huh?"

"So how do I make you shut up again?" Abby said playfully. 

"Do you want me to guide you or do you want some tips and do what you want to do?" 

Guidance was nice, but also Abby wanted to just focus on you and not hear a coherent word from you, so.

"Tips."

"Give me your hand." 

Abby did as you told her and you put your mouth on her forearm, rubbing your flat tongue up and down to give her an example. Abby's eyes went dark as she watched you and she squeezed your thigh harder.

"Keep your tongue flat and soft and you're good. Your jaw will hurt, so take a break when you need one." 

Abby took a breath to calm herself a little, because her impatience was making her rush and she wanted to savour it. 

So Abby leaned down again and kissed you while she slowly moved her hand up your thigh, her fingers shaking a little in anticipation. And the way you spread your legs for her made Abby dizzy - you wanted her to touch you, you were at her mercy an fuck it was getting into her head. 

Abby slowly parted your folds the way she did to herself a million times before and you gasped when her fingers brushed over your clit. Abby grunted, trying not to be so embarrassing but feeling your wetness on her fingers was fucking amazing. 

"Shit, you're so wet." Abby sighed heavily and slowly moved her hand up and down your cunt, needing to feel how hot and soft you were. She moved her fingers over the curve to your hole experimentally, her fingertips touching just the edges and you bucked your hips, your nails digging into her shoulders. "Are you always this sensitive?"

"I didn't know I could be this sensitive." You huffed, embarrassed. "I guess a month without sex will do that to a person." 

"You did it to yourself, idiot." Abby said affectionately and kissed your neck, slowly moving down your body.

"Fair." You sighed loudly as you watched Abby kiss your ribs, then stomach and then she finally moved down.

Abby kissed your hip bone as she rubbed your thighs. She wasn't rushing, giving herself enough time to appreciate what was happening and get used to her senses being attacked with your scent, your warmth, the feel of your skin under her chin - that was new but she liked it so much she stopped restraining herself and literally buried her nose in your pussy, breathing you in, and you yelped as your hands flew to Abby's hair that was so unfortunately braided. 

"Fuck, Abby-" You panted. "Give the girl a warning."

But Abby wasn't listening anymore, she was too busy finally putting her mouth on you, exploring: she was curious to feel every part of your pussy under her lips. She kissed your pubic, the crease of your thigh, just above your clit, her chin was already wet and Abby swallowed because there was too much saliva in her mouth. 

"How-how do you feel?" You asked her as you breathed heavily: for Abby it was an exploration and for you it was fucking teasing, the way you wanted to just buck your hips into her face was unbearable. But you restrained yourself: this was about Abby and not about you now.

"Like I was meant to be here all my life." Abby chuckled and kissed your pussy lips the same way she kissed your mouth: lips were lips, right? 

You clutched the pillow when Abby's bottom lip brushed over your clit and Abby looked up to watch your reaction as she literally made out with your cunt: you were fucking magical. Abby didn't even notice how she used her tongue and licked your clit, your taste exploding in her mouth as you whimpered, just because she was too busy watching you, shifting into horny "do everything to make her feel good" mindset. 

And now Abby was on a mission. She didn't waste any time, angling her head and latching onto your clit just as you told her, making her tongue as flat and as soft as she could, given that she never did this before. 

"Oh shit." You sighed loudly. "Less pressure, Abby." You told her and Abby eased up - she was getting too excited again and was rushing things. 

So Abby took a loud breath through her nose and let herself relax a little, taking a slow, gentle pace as she rubbed your clit on her tongue, her eyes rolling back when she picked up your slick - it wasn't even the taste that drove her crazy, but the viscous texture of it. 

"Fuck." You sighed and interlocked your fingers with Abby's on your stomach. "Fuck, you're really enjoying it." You watched Abby's concentrated face as she was eating you out like it was her pleasure and not yours. 

Abby made an agreeing noise and it went right to your clit and you hissed. 

"You can- you can go faster if you want." And Abby picked up her pace as well your voice picked up volume: it felt so fucking good, Abby was really meant to be between your legs like this. Her pace haltered a lot from inexperience and because her jaw was starting to hurt, but you didn't care - she was still making you feel so good and your orgasm was starting to build up already. 

But Abby needed a breather so she moved away and looked at you, frowning, as if she was calculating something.

"How do I make you cum?"

"You know you don't have to. I'm enjoying this as it is already."

"I want to. Can I use my fingers?"

"Yeah, yeah, you can. Start with one, okay?"

That wasn't what Abby was thinking about, but if she'd get to feel you like this, she was jumping this train right away. 

Abby sat up in all her muscled glory and looked you over again, panting, naked and pretty and all for her.

"You're so fucking hot." 

"Kiss me." 

Abby leaned down to you and kissed you sweetly as she parted your folds, now more confident. She went up and down, smearing your slick and her saliva over the whole length of your cunt and then very slowly dipped her finger inside. She sighed into your mouth, surprised at how hot and soft you were inside, her mind reeling because she felt like was experiencing something holy now.

Thankfully Ellie's stories covered this part and Abby curled her finger, looking for- for- what was she supposed to be looking for? 

"Fuck." You sighed and Abby watched your face, trying to guess what would feel better as she probed around with her finger. "Right- fuck, right there."

Abby immediately locked the position of her finger, trying to remember what she was feeling to find it later too, because she already knew she wouldn't leave you alone after this. The hunger Abby felt was building up for twenty years in her, and now she had you to feed her. 

Abby didn't wait for you to tell her to go faster, picking up the pace enough to make you louder and grip her arm harder. 

"You know, I like listening to these noises way more than to your worrying." Abby murmured into your ear and you gasped. "Can I add another one?"

"Yeah- and fuck you." You chuckled and Abby raised her brows.

"You meant fuck you? Because this is what is happening."

"You're so cocky." 

"Yeah, maybe." 

Abby slowly pulled out her finger and just as slowly pushed two back in - she was gentle, scared to hurt you because you were tight around her. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry." 

Abby started slow, basking in the feeling of your cunt around her fingers, the way you were all wet and hot for her, how soft your walls were when she curled her fingers looking for the same spot as before, but it wasn't that easy. 

"Fuck, I lost it." Abby whispered to herself and you giggled. 

"Don't worry about it, it feels good. I like it." You reached down and corrected Abby's hand position. "Here."

Abby nodded and curled her fingers hard, too eager to please you and you gasped, scaring  Abby - did she hurt you with how hard she moved her hand? 

"Shit, did I-"

"Do that again." 

Oh. Abby smirked and went harder on you, practically holding you by your cunt with how hard she was curling her fingers inside and you felt yourself getting closer and closer with each touch of Abby's fingers. It felt amazing and you knew from experience athlete's hands wouldn't get tired too fast so Abby could easily make you cum like this, so you relaxed and concentrated on each thrust of her fingers as they were getting you closer to your climax, but then Abby stopped. 

"Wha-" You asked, confused, but Abby moved back between your thighs and you laughed happily. "Okay, that works too."

"Were you close?"

Oh. Abby didn't notice it - of course she didn't, how many pussies she's been in before to know how it feels - and your face heated up.

"Yeah." 

The shit-eating grin on Abby's face was so precious you didn't say anything in return and just interlocked your fingers again. It wasn't super comfortable to get in front of your pussy with no hands, but Abby wasn't going to let you go if her life depended on it. Somehow she managed to lie down while still having her fingers in you and now she had to figure out how to fucking multitask. Abby’s mouth watered as she watched her fingers disappear in you while you whimpered, and she put her mouth back on your clit, doing the same thing as she did before, gently rubbing your clit in a pace that was fast and didn't get her jaw tired too early. 

You dug your nails into Abby's knuckles as you felt your orgasm getting closer - at this point if Abby could keep her fingers moving you wouldn't even need her mouth to cum. Your heavy breathing turned into squeaky moans at each time Abby's fingers hit right in time with her tongue and Abby watched you with dark eyes, clearly enjoying the way you were enjoying her. 

Abby gently sucked on your clit to move her jaw a little and you jumped, holding onto her hand painfully. Abby got surprised and her pace broke for a moment, but it made her double her efforts, her fingers getting rougher and her tongue not changing the pace. 

"Fuck I'm so close-" You sobbed. "Don't change anything." You managed to moan and Abby was more than happy to oblige. 

And now Abby felt it, how you got so tight on her fingers it almost hurt and arousal went over her like in a hot wave. Abby closed her eyes, falling into lustful bliss, licking and sucking your clit just for her own satisfaction because it felt amazing, and Abby didn't notice how your thighs started to close around her head, but the new weight on her shoulders made her moan into your pussy and you suddenly got super silent. 

Abby looked up, worried, but the moment she looked at your frown she knew you were cumming so she kept her pace and watched you shudder and moan so low it got loud, and then she felt your walls pulsate around her fingers in big waves and Abby blacked out again because she was experiencing God by this point. You clung to her hand, leaving crescent marks on her knuckles and tugged on her hair, but Abby was so out of it, collecting all your juices with her tongue, she didn't care about mild pain. 

"Abby-Abby fuck-" You moaned because she wasn't stopping and you were getting too sensitive. "Come on, baby, come here."

Abby opened her eyes and you saw how blown out her pupils were - she was getting pussydrunk and you just laid back hopelessly and let her do what she wanted. Abby slowly took her fingers out and sucked them clean before diving back in and lapping at your hole, pushing her tongue inside and you whimpered, shaking, tugging on her hair. 

"Abby, shit-" You sobbed. "Come here."

This time Abby actually listened and crawled on top of you, her chin wet. You held her face in your hands and wiped her chin gently. Abby kissed you, rough enough to press your head into the pillow and you hugged her shoulders, pressing closer to her.. 

“Was it good?" Abby asked, trying to hide her embarrassment, but you still heard it in her voice. 

"What does this look like?" You showed her your trembling arm, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. "It was so fucking good, Abby, it’s ridiculous how good it was.” Abby laughed at your playful offense, relieved she didn’t fuck up. “What do you want me to do for you?"

Abby suddenly tensed - she wasn't sure she was ready for it yet, to be touched like this. She honestly didn't even notice how turned on and pent up she was, too lost in making you feel good, but her clit was pulsing and aching for some relief and Abby wanted to cum, she just didn't know how. 

"We don't have to do anything." You reminded Abby when she hesitated to give you an answer. "But if you want to you can use my thigh or my fingers or my mouth, I'm all for it."

Maybe this is where Abby would like to start small and safe, because she knew for sure she wasn't ready for oral yet, thigh thing sounded awkward so she settled on good old fingers.

"Yeah, you can touch me."

You smiled, happy, and gently moved your hand between your bodies, trailing Abby's abs with your fingertips, making her flex her muscles. 

"You wanna lie on your back?"

No she didn't. You saw Abby tense and didn't push further, clearly reading she wasn't yet comfortable with being vulnerable like this. 

So you slowly pushed your hand into her pants, watching her reaction. Abby closed her eyes and gasped when you brushed over her clit, so you started rubbing it up and down carefully, not knowing how sensitive Abby was. 

"Good?"

"Yeah." Abby said in a husky voice and squeezed your side.

You kissed her cheek and sped up just a little and Abby screwed her shut and started breathing heavily, knowing she wouldn't last long, too pent up after a fucking month of cock-blocking and seeing you cum just now. 

"You're so wet." You sighed in wonder and sped up again, making Abby tense as she got overwhelmed and so close to the edge it was embarrassing. "I like seeing you like this." You told Abby as you watched her intently, her knitted brows and tense jaw as she tried to not be loud, grunting and squeezing your side painfully.

You circled her clit and Abby shuddered violently, cumming with a strained grunt, her head falling on your shoulder as her hot slick covered your fingers. You eased up on her but didn't stop to prolong her orgasm.

"Stop, stop-stop-stop." Abby panted and you obeyed, just cupping her pussy. "Fuck."

You chuckled and kissed Abby gently, feeling very soft and full of love for her and she relaxed on top of you, still breathing heavily. You slowly took your hand out of her pants and broke the kiss to suck on your fingers and Abby honest to god blushed as she watched you. 

“Why would you do that?” Abby laughed, embarrassed, but you were too busy enjoying her taste. 

“Why did you do it?” You laughed too and Abby pinched your side. "Was it good for you too?"

"Yeah." Abby nuzzled into your neck. "Can we do it again in like, ten minutes?"

Oh fuck, you thought as you laughed, Abby was going to be a fucking pussy fiend.

[systemrestart]

From Alison Bechdel's "Dykes to Watch Out For". Strip name "Au Courant", from 1994

I'd never seen this strip get posted, so I want others to see it. Mo, the character expressing 'concern' over the inclusion of trans women (as well as bisexuals) in lesbian culture, is often portrayed as being overly self-righteous, jumping to conclusions about others, and not critically examining her own biases and worldview. She was also the character in the comic commissioned for Transgender Warriors, where she learns she was wrong for being anxious about sharing a bathroom with a trans woman.

Mo is often either the butt of the joke, or receives a stark lesson in these interactions (whether by confrontation or just becoming socially isolated, because she's difficult to be around). And I found this framing important, especially as I've heard discussion of TERFs trying to claim Bechdel as one of them.

This comic was not made to validate Mo's opinions or feelings. The characters in Bechdel's comics are often messy, short-sighted, even bigoted. They're human. This comic does not valorize or 'condone' these flaws, merely shows them for what they are, as well as the consequences that come with them, and the effects they can have on your communities.

[Update Note: Recently learned some new things about Bechdel's feelings/choices regarding trans issues (particularly transmisogyny), link here if you're interested in reading. It seems that beyond DTWOF, Bechdel 'supports' trans people in an esoteric sort of way, but is seemingly unwilling to unpack deeper transphobic feelings/views, or her ties with TERF-aligned people. Deeply disappointing.

I don't think that impacts DTWOF itself much (except the framing of the character Janis, may make a post about that someday), as again all of the characters in DTWOF have wildly varying views, and that's The Point, but, it's something I think people ought to know if we're going to have a discussion about Bechdel in connection to TERFs and transmisogyny]

Transcript of the comic below the cut:

[ID: A "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic strip by Alison Bechdel, featuring the characters Mo and Lois. The conversation is as follows:

MO: Oh, jeez. Here's a submission for "Madwimmin Read" from someone named Jillian who identifies as a transsexual lesbian.

LOIS: Cool.

MO: The cover letter says, "I hope you'll consider changing the name of your reading series for local lesbian writers to be inclusive of transgender and bisexual women writers too." Oh, man!

LOIS: Guess it's time to get with the program, huh?

MO: What am I supposed to do? Have bi women and drag queens come in here and read about schtupping their boyfriends?

LOIS: Why not? I'm sure they'd have a unique perspective on the topic.

MO: Lois, I'm still trying to adjust to lesbians using dildos! What am I supposed to make of a man who became a woman who's attracted to women?!

LOIS: Love is a many gendered thing, pal. Get used to it.

MO: Well fine. Let people do what they want. But I'm not gonna add this unwieldy "bisexual and transgender" business to the name of my reading series. I don't even know what transgender means!

LOIS: It's sort of an evolving concept. I mean, we haven't had any language for people you can't neatly peg as either boy or girl.

LOIS: Like cross-dressers, transsexuals, people who live as the opposite sex but don't have surgery, drag queens and kings, and all kinds of other transgressive folks. "Transgender" is a way to unite everyone into a group, even though all these people might not self-identify as transgender.

LOIS: In fact, the point is that we're all just ourselves, and not categories. Instead of two rigid genders, there's an infinite sexual continuum! Cool, huh?

MO: How do you know all this stuff?

END ID]

[cuntess-carmilla]

Alright, let's try a thought exercise!

This thought exercise requires us to start by agreeing that women are an oppressed class (cis women, trans women, non-binary people who at least partially id as women or woman-adjacent).

If you can't concede that as a basis, then keep scrolling, this post isn't for you. I'm not here to convince MRAs that systemic misogyny – aka the patriarchy – is real. Alright? Alright.

I think we can all agree that, besides the institutional oppression faced by oppressed groups, they all also face acts of individualized concrete violence (which are then vindicated by institutions and/or sociocultural disinterest or even active acceptance).

You know, that thing we call hate crimes? Acts of violence committed against an individual by mere reason of an aspect of who they are which makes them oppressed and/or marginalized.

We discuss women as an oppressed class as well, but, save for specific feminist factions (largely, non-liberal feminists from the global south), no one really talks about misogynistic hate crimes.

Even though misogynistic men murder women and girls for no reason other than their own misogyny every day. There are exceptions, of course, but most of the time, when a man kills a woman it's not to steal from us, not as revenge for something shitty we did to them, not because we were in an altercation and it simply happened. No.

It's because "if I can't have her, then nobody can have her" (women as property), "she rejected me" (woman denied sex or romance to a man who wanted it), "she was trying to leave" (culmination of domestic violence), "she made me feel emasculated" (reaffirming masculinity through violence).

We're raped and otherwise sexually abused ALL the time as well, and our perpetrators are by far mostly cis men. I hope I don't have to go into detail on how that's related to misogyny.

Chile has pretty progressive femicide legislation as of somewhat recently. The legal definition of femicide went from being "male partner or ex-partner who murders his female partner or ex-partner" to "any killing of a woman for reason of her gender", which explicitly includes:

Women killed by men they were never involved with but who acted out of jealousy/possessivenes or as revenge because they were rejected.

Women being killed by men for being gender non-conforming.

Women being killed for being trans, lesbian or bisexual.

Women killed by men because they were sex workers.

(So, no, before the MRAs who kept reading get their panties in a twist, femicides in Chile are not defined as every single time a man kills any random woman. The motive for the murder has to be patriarchal bigotry in some form and that has to stand to scrutiny in court.)

If we accept that, like in the Chilean legislation of femicide, any act of violence committed by a man against a woman due to patriarchal bigotry is a misogynistic hate crime, shouldn't we be more alarmed with how astoundingly common and NORMALIZED hate crimes against women are?

How many women and girls do you know who have been sexually abused by a man or boy? How many which have been beaten? How many women do you know who have controlling and violent boyfriends or husbands or fathers or older brothers? How often do you hear about a woman who made it out alive by the skin of her teeth from the hands of a man who was absolutely going to kill her? And the ones that didn't make it? How about when misogyny intersects with race, disability, transness, gayness, socioeconomic class, religious minorities, and so on?

I firmly believe that the only reason we don't talk about these things as misogynistic hate crimes is because, despite being oppressed, women aren't a numerical minority. But, rather than that giving visibility to the violence we face, it invisibilizes it even more. It became society's normal to have approximately half of its population constantly subjected to hate crimes, to the point that there's whole TikTok trends dedicated to turning it into a joke (the "joke" where men pretend they're trying to suffocate their girlfriends with a pillow for being annoying) and until very recently it was perfectly ok for standup comedians to joke about it too. Precisely, because women are an oppressed class and violence against us is both socially sanctioned and encouraged, when it's hyper-visible, it becomes at best a fact of life that deserves no one's attention, and at worst it becomes a recurrent joke.

I, personally, believe that femicides and the largest portion of rapes suffered by women are misogynistic hate crimes, as are many other instances of violence women are used to now and that we deal with as a natural(ized) aspect of living as a woman. Which I know will get me called all sorts of names and slurs, but I can't see where my logic is failing.

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!