#left me once again thinking everything is horrible and nothing will ever be good again

[patchworkofravens]

As much as I wish I understood Lily Chou Chou....I don't think I do.

Like it's probably a great film and allow me to say I love. I love the cinematography but the story felt kinda forgettable? In a while. Idk maybe my brains just rotted too much to Get It.

It DID give me that consuming tired dread that Extracurricular did where it's all oh my god that's fucked up oh that's worse oh that's downright disgusting oh thisis. Cruel and unforgivable. But that's about it 🤷‍♀️

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 11 (The End)

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible. Racism against Illyrians/Lesser Faes?

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

I could write more, but quite frankly, I think I would kinda drag it out and the first major arc is tied up with a neat little bow! There are definitely be threads left dangling for me to pick up whenever I want to write more about Sky and Azriel, but I think around 50k is a good place to stop for now ❤️

Even the Spymaster of the Night Court paid taxes.

That was the only reason why Rhysand even found out where exactly Azriel‘s home even was.

Azriel’s home was in the outskirts of Velaris, near the mountains. A little lake cabin. Rhys hadn’t even known that Azriel owned it but apparently he did.

Rhys shouldn’t go there. He knew that.

Rhys should be giving his brother space. That was probably the least he owed him. But he couldn't stop himself. He needed to know Azriel was alright. That he was happy.

Rhys needed to apologise. He needed to make amends…

And Azriel was ignoring him. Mental shields as shored up as they ever had been, shoving back at Rhys at every opportunity…

He had never seen Azriel's mental shields like this before, and it concerned him. He knew Azriel was angry at him, had ever right to be angry,  but Rhys hadn't expected his brother to shut him out so completely.

Reports were still arriving on his desk punctually as always. But Azriel seemed utterly uninterested in actually talking to Rhys. 

It was a small comfort, knowing that Azriel was still working, but Rhysand couldn’t shake off the feeling of guilt that had settled deep in his gut. He knew that he had hurt Azriel deeply, and he couldn’t blame his brother for shutting him out.

Rhys wished he could turn back time and fix things, but he had messed up terribly. He knew he had to give Azriel space, but the silence between them was deafening . It was a constant reminder of just how much damage he had caused.

As the days went on, Rhysand found himself consumed by thoughts of what he could have done…should have done… He tried reaching out to Azriel mentally, only to be rebuffed each time. 

Cassian showed up alone for debriefings and if Rhys showed up at the House of Wind for Valkyrie Training, Azriel was nowhere to be seen. 

So finally…Rhys had enough. So he showed up at that house. 

It was a nice house too, a secluded cabin at a mountain lake. Rhys knew that he wasn’t welcome, not after everything that had passed between them, but he had to see Azriel. 

Rhys raised a hand, knocking gently on the door. He could hear the faint sound of movement inside. Rhysand sighed. He should leave. He knew he should leave. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

And then suddenly, to his surprise…the door opened. 

“…C…Can I….can I h…help you?“

She was brown haired and short… with deep blue eyes and freckles smattering over her nose.

Rhysand looked at the woman in front of him, taken aback by her appearance. He didn't know what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't a small, curvy, freckled brunette.

"I, uh..." Rhysand stammered, his mind blanking. "I was looking for Azriel." he finally brought out. 

The small female studied him carefully, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Az…Azriel's n…not h…here," she stuttered.

Rhysand's heart sank, but he tried not to let it show. "Do you know where he is?" he asked, desperate for any information.

The female hesitated, biting her lip slightly. She seemed to be contemplating her answer, her brow furrowing in thought. After a moment, she finally looked back up at him, her expression unreadable. "He…He's...o…out f…for t…the d…day," she said finally, not giving him anymore than that.

Rhysand tried to keep the frustration out of his voice, but it was difficult. He was so close to his brother, and yet so far away. "Do you know when he'll be back?" he asked sharply.

She nearly flinched away from him at that tone of voice.

He opened his mouth to apologise, but he didn't even get to that. Because some thing with wickedly sharp claws, launched itself at his head with a hissing sound.

Rhysand yelped as the mysterious creature swiped at his face, growling all the while.

"HECTOR NO!" The female shrieked.

Rhysand stumbled backwards, trying to dodge the sharp claws.

Just at that moment, he felt more than he heard his brother's arrival.

Azriel materialized between them with a loud flapping of wings, his siphons blazing. He stood protectively in front of the small female, his expression murderous.

"Hector to me," he snapped. The thing, a cat ...an incredible ugly , murderous looking cat let off Rhys with another growl and slunk back to Azriel's side, heeling like a dog. The woman quickly scooped him up in her arms.

Cassian's laughter washed over him, at that moment, as Rhys was still laying on the ground, bested by a cat .

"Taking down by a cat now, Rhysie?" Cassian asked him with a snort, offering him his hand to gain his feet.

Rhys already knew that he was never going to live this down.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Azriel hissed, his voice filled with anger. His wings were spread wide, and Rhysand could see the barely contained ferocity beneath his brother's cold facade.

Rhysand winced at Azriel's harsh tone. He knew he had messed up, and he didn't blame his brother for being angry with him. "I just wanted to see you," he said, feeling small under Azriel's penetrating glare.

Azriel's expression didn't soften at his words. "You had no right," he said sharply. "You can't just show up here unannounced, Rhysand. This is my home, and you're not welcome here. You terrified Sky!"

Sky. Sky. That was the name of his brother's mate...of the pretty brunette that was standing behind him, fussing over her murderous cat.

Rhysand glanced over at Sky guiltily. "I...I'm sorry," he said to her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Sky hesitated, before nodding stiffly. Her face remained guarded, her arms still wrapped protectively around the mangy cat. Rhysand couldn't help but notice how small she looked compared to Azriel's imposing form…and the absolute massive cat. 

"I am sorry," he turned to his brother, swallowing. The apology wasn't enough. he knew that. And it wasn't going to fix the fact that Azriel didn't trust him anymore or... *Az. Please.*

"How did you find this house?" Azriel demanded.

"I checked the tax reports," Rhys admitted with a grimace.

Azriel's expression darkened even further, and Rhys braced himself for a reprimand. Instead, his brother let out a harsh, bitter chuckle. "Of course you did," he said flatly. "Just can't stay out of my business, can you?"

Rhysand felt a pang in his chest at the hostility in Azriel's voice. He knew he deserved every ounce of resentment his brother felt, but it still hurt deep to hear it out loud. "I...I was worried about you," he said lamely.”I just needed to see you." he added. "To apologise."

"You don't even realise the lines you keep crossing, do you?" Cassian asked him flatly. "Ever thought about the fact that maybe you should have waited until Azriel was ready to hear you out?

Rhysand winced. Cassian's words struck a nerve, and he knew his friend was right. He had been rash and insensitive in coming here unannounced. "I...I wasn't thinking," he admitted softly.

Cassian shook his head, his expression still stern. "That's the problem, Rhys," he said bluntly. "You never seem to think these days. It's like you're so caught up in your own head that you don't consider how your actions affect those around you."

Rhysand's gaze dropped, shame washing over him. Cassian's words pierced straight through him, and he struggled to find a response. He knew he had been making mistakes, but hearing them laid out so bluntly still stung.

"What do you want?" Azriel asked him flatly. "Why did you come here?"

"I wanted to apologise," Rhys said weakly. "I...fucked up. I know that. I want to...fix things."

Azriel's face remained impassive, his eyes hard. "You can't just fix things with an apology, Rhys," He said curtly. "You crossed more than one line, and you shattered my trust. Do you really think saying sorry is enough?"

"Az," his mate said softly, her voice quiet. "H..He's blee..bleeding all over our front lawn after my cat at..attacked him. At least let him sit down and give him a healing salve…"

Azriel turned to look at his mate, his anger softening ever so slightly at the concern in her voice. He let out a heavy sigh, before nodding stiffly. "Fine," he said gruffly. "But no more than that."

Rhysand nodded gratefully, relieved that Azriel was willing to let him in, even if only slightly. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I...I really am sorry."

Azriel didn't respond, turning away from him and herded Sky and the murder cat into the house. Rhysand watched him go, feeling a pang of sadness. It was clear that his brother's anger was far from abated, and he knew it would take a lot more than just an apology to mend their fractured relationship.

"Come on," Cassian prodded him up.

The first thing that Rhys realised about the house Azriel shared with his mate was that it was absolutely stuffed full with books. The second was, that Azriel clearly doted on the Murder Cat that got a crystal dish with tuna on it put on the floor before Azriel even went in the direction of the healing salve, which he slapped down on the table in front of Rhysand. .

"I…I am so…sorry," Sky apologised to Rhys, bright blue eyes apologetic. "H…Hector has nev…never done anything like that before, I swear."

Yeah, somehow he doubted that. But he also doubted that it was going to help his relationship with Azriel if he was going to annoy his mate about her beastly cat. The thing had a worse personality than Amren . 

"Don't worry about it," he said, with what he hoped he was a gracious smile. "I think your cat and I just got off on the wrong foot." He looked over at the cat, who was now happily devouring the tuna as if it hadn't just tried to claw his face off.

"Good Boy, Hector," Azriel said warmly.

Rhysand could just stare.

Azriel, the feared Spymaster of the Night Court, was cooing at a mangy cat like a proud parent. He never would have believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes.

"Who knew the Spymaster had a soft spot for cats," Rhysand remarked with a faint smile. Azriel shot him a warning glare, but the sternness was lost at the tender way he was petting the cat. "I am really sorry," Rhys apologised again.

"You said so. Numerous times," Azriel shot back.

Rhysand sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He knew Azriel was still angry with him, but it was hard not to feel the guilt weighing down on him. "I know," he said softly. "But I want you to know that I mean it. I am sorry, Azriel. For everything."

Azriel's expression remained impassive, but Rhysand could see the flicker of sadness in his eyes. He knew his brother was struggling to forgive him, but he hoped that with time, Azriel would be able to find it in his heart to do so.

"I just want to make things right," Rhysand said earnestly. "I miss you, Az. I miss my brother."

"You'll need to decide one of those days," Azriel said sharply. "Am I your soldier or am I your brother?"

Rhysand flinched at the words, feeling the weight of the accusation hit him hard. 

He had always tried to balance his role as High Lord with his relationship with his brothers, but he knew that…that he hadn’t been fair to Azriel for a long time. "You're right," he conceded quietly. "I have been treating you like my soldier instead of my brother, and that's not fair to you."

"You have been treating him absolutely deplorably," Cassian cut him off.

Rhysand hung his head, feeling the weight of his mistakes settling heavy on his shoulders. "I know," he said quietly. "I've been so caught up in my own problems and responsibilities as High Lord that I lost sight of what really matters. And I've hurt Azriel because of it."

"And you stuck your nose in things that are none of your business," Cassian continued. "I get it that you are tired of fighting, Rhys, we all are, but you can't keep conflict out of our family by ordering Azriel to behave in the way you would like him to."

Rhysand winced, knowing Cassian was right. He had been trying to control things, to make sure everyone was safe and happy, but in the process, he had driven a wedge between himself and his brothers. "I...I know," he admitted reluctantly. "I was…I was stupid. I am tired of war. Of fighting. And I was just trying to protect him, but I went about it all wrong."

" Protect me?" Azriel asked him, his voice dripping with disdain. " Protect me from what ?"

Rhysand looked away, feeling the shame rise within him. He knew he had overstepped, and he knew that Azriel was angry with him. "The consequences that would have arisen," he said delicately. He didn't know what Azriel had told his mate...didn't know how much she knew, but she was watching him with an expression on his face, he couldn't quite place.

"Well, I am an adult, Rhysand," Azriel snapped. "I am perfectly capable of protecting myself."

Rhys knew that. He knew Azriel was more than capable of taking care of himself. But he still felt the need to protect him, to shield him from harm.

"I...I know that," Rhysand said quietly. "I just didn't want to see you get hurt." He glanced over at Azriel's mate, who was still watching him warily. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being evaluated, judged for his mistakes.

Azriel let out a dry chuckle. "Well, it's a little late for that, don't you think?" he said bitterly. "You've seen to that already." Rhysand winced at the accusation, knowing that he deserved every ounce of Azriel's anger.

"I know," he said again, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I am sorry for that. I see now that it was the wrong way to go about it." He looked into his brother's dark eyes, pleading for understanding.

Azriel met his gaze, his expression softening ever so slightly. "Protecting me by making decisions for me is not protecting me, Rhysand," he said quietly. "It's...it's suffocating. It's demeaning."

Rhysand nodded, knowing that Azriel was right. He had been trying to control everything, trying to make sure that nothing went wrong, and he had lost sight of what was truly important. "I understand," he said quietly. "And I am sorry for making you feel that way. It was wrong of me."

Azriel studied him for a moment, before finally sighing. "Just...stop it," he said simply. "No more interfering in my personal life, no more giving me orders like I am one of your soldiers."

Rhysand let out a shaky breath, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. "I promise," he said earnestly. "I won't do it again, Az. I...I'll respect your boundaries, and I'll never overstep again."

Azriel snorted. “I’ll believe that when I see it,” he said gruffly. "And if you do...if you try to control me like that again, I swear Rhysand...it won't end well."

"You'll ha…have He…Hecctor to contend with," Sky said, her voice even.

Rhysand looked over at Hector, who had finished his tuna and was now licking his chops.  Rhys swallowed. "He does seem to be a force to be reckoned with," he said carefully.

Sky gave him a small, tight-lipped smile. "You could say t…that," she said, her tone neutral. Azriel snorted a laugh, shaking his head as he watched his mate. It was the first genuinely carefree sound Rhysand had heard from his brother…in a long time.

Despite the earlier tension, Rhysand found himself smiling too. There was something about the way Azriel looked at his mate, the way he looked...happy, that made Rhysand feel like maybe everything would be alright.

Hector chose that moment to let out a loud meow, his voice sounding like a rusty hinge in the otherwise quiet room. Azriel looked down at the cat, rolling his eyes. "Alright, alright, I'll get you your second helping, spoiled brat," he said, a hint of fondness in his voice.

Rhysand chuckled, feeling the tension that had been weighing him down lift just a little. Things between him and Azriel weren't repaired yet, they had a long way to go, but for the first time in a long while, he felt hopeful.

“They do say the pen is mi…mightier than a sword,” Sky said suddenly. “You treat Azriel like that again and you’ll see just how mighty my pen is.”

Rhysand's eyebrows shot up in surprise at Sky's unexpected threat. It was clear that she wasn't messing around, and Rhys couldn't help but admire her boldness. He glanced over at Azriel, who was trying to suppress a smile.

"I'll keep that in mind," Rhysand said, trying to hide his amusement. "Though I have to say, I can’t imagine a pen being as terrifying as Hector."

Cassian snorted. “Oh you have no idea,” he muttered

Rhysand's eyes widened in curiosity at Cassian's comment. What on earth did that mean? But before he could inquire further, Azriel's voice broke through.

"Don't worry about it," he said, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Let's just say that you don't want to get on Sky's bad side, especially when she has her writing instruments within reach."

"Duly noted," Rhysand said, nodding seriously. He had a feeling that Azriel's mate was not someone to be trifled with, regardless of how harmless she looked, and he had no intention of finding out first-hand just how mighty her pen truly was.

Hector, having finished his second helping of tuna, let out a satisfied meow before padding over to Sky and rubbing against her leg. She reached down and scratched him behind the ears, smiling as he purred contentedly.

Rhysand watched the scene. He had never seen Azriel so relaxed, so happy, and it made him realize just how badly he had missed his brother. It was a reminder that family was more important than anything, and that he needed to cherish the people he cared about.

“Seems like you aren’t Sky’s favourite,” Cassian drawled.

Azriel snorted. “Nah, I come a distant third behind Hector and the shadows.”

Rhys watched with a swallow as these shadows that he had seen torturing people came over to Sky and twined around her hands. Azriel's words were said in jest, but Rhysand could hear the fondness in his voice. It was clear that Azriel adored his mate, and that the shadows had taken a liking to her as well. Rhysand tried not to let the slight sting of jealousy show on his face.

As he watched, the shadows danced around Sky's fingers, like they were alive and had a mind of their own. Rhys had seen the shadows in action, had seen how Azriel used them to fight and spy, but he had never seen them act this way before. There was a tenderness in the way they twined around Sky that was almost...beautiful.

Rhys turned to Azriel, who was watching his mate with a soft expression on his face. "They seem to like her," he commented, keeping his voice neutral.

"That's an understatement," Azriel said drily. "They're obsessed with her. They won't leave her alone."

Rhysand could see that clearly, but what surprised him more was how comfortable Sky seemed with them. She wasn't scared or even bothered by their presence...

It did make sense he supposed. The shadows were Azriel's weapon, his most trusted companions...that they would like his mate.

Rhysand watched as Sky looked up from where the shadows were wrapping around her fingers, a faint smile on her face. She seemed completely at ease with the strange entities, as if they were just another part of Azriel that she had accepted and embraced.

And it was also a sharp reminder of how much trust Rhys had destroyed through his actions. It was very clear who Azriel preferred, who he trusted more. Who he gravitated towards. Who even his shadows doted on, these strange, creatures that Rhys was quite sure would stop at nothing to keep their master safe.

The realization stung, but Rhys knew he had no one to blame but himself. He had caused this rift between them, he had pushed Azriel away, and now he was paying the price for it. But he was determined to make it right, no matter how long it took.

As he watched Azriel gently brush away a stray strand of hair from Sky's face, Rhys made a silent vow. He would do whatever it took to repair their broken bond, to regain Azriel's trust and respect. No matter how hard it was, no matter how long it took, he would make things right.

***

"You want to talk about it?" Sky asked him quietly, after Cassian ad Rhys had gone. 

She was fine now. Content. No more pulling at the mating bond so harshly and pushing all her fear at him. It had shaved at least a century of his life, to feel that from her when Casisan and him had been sparring and he knew that she was supposed to be safe at home.

He had expected near everything…but he hadn’t expected to arrive to the view of Hector scratching Rhys’s face with all his might. 

Azriel took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the day's events bearing down on him. He wasn't sure if he was ready to put his tangled emotions into words yet, but he also knew that he couldn't keep it all bottled up inside.

"Rhys gave me some orders that I didn't agree with," he said drily. "Stuck his nose in things that he had no business to interfere with. He treated me...treated me like my feelings didn't matter. That I didn't matter....It took a really bad fight on Solstice for this apology to occur," he said with a grimace.

"You don't think he means it?" Sky asked him curiously, turning to look at him.

"No, he does mean it," Azriel said with a sigh. He did believe that. “He wants to fix things. to rebuild trust...And I do want that too. Regardless of how much of an asshole he can be on occasion he is still my brother ."

Sky was quiet for a long moment, watching him intently. Azriel felt the weight of her gaze, knowing that she was analyzing the situation, trying to understand what he was feeling. Finally, she spoke.

"You're worried that he'll disappoint you again," she said softly. "That he'll make promises that he can't keep. That he'll go back on his word and hurt you worse than before."

Azriel's throat felt tight. The words hit him hard, because Sky had put a voice to his deepest fears. "Yes," he admitted. "That'sexactly what I'm afraid of. I want to believe him, I do."

But it was hard to trust Rhys right ow. Especially with Sky. Trusting Rhys with the most important, the most precious part of his life...

"I can loan you Hector whenever he pisses you off again," Sky offered him seriously, and Azriel couldn't help but laugh.

"Thanks," he said with a small smile. "I might just take you up on that." He pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair. The scent of caramel and hazelnuts enveloped him, calming his racing thoughts and easing the tension in his shoulders.

"I love you, he whispered into her skin and she hummed. "Regardless of what happens, you  have me," Sky promised him. "I'll be behind you, every step of the way. regardless of whatever you decide."

Those words were like a balm to Azriel's soul. The fear and doubt that had been plaguing him since Rhysand's unexpected visit receded, replaced by a sense of safety and certainty. He held onto Sky tightly.

"I love you too," she murmured, the words barely audible even in the still apartment.

They stayed like that for a long moment, simply holding onto each other.

*I don't think I ever thanked you.* he told the shadows softly as he held his mate in his arms.

The shadows fluttered around him, wrapping around his arms and shoulders like a comforting embrace. They didn't say anything, but Azriel could feel their response. They had been with him through thick and thin, protecting him, guiding him, and never once asking for a word of thanks. And yet, he knew that they understood his gratitude, that they could feel it…

*Thank you for finding her.*

[tan1shere]

Her Favorite - Pt 2

Teacher Billie Eilish x student female reader

A/n: this has taken forever my apologies babes, but I hope it was worth it ? Again there will be links to the outfits on certain words 😁

Summary: you're the teachers pet. Her. Favorite.

Warnings: smut mdni ! Soft dom billie, sub-but slightly bratty/naughty reader ??, you ride billie, jealous billie ? Lil possessive but not in a horrible way.

Masterlist - pt 1 , pt 3

It took a few days plus the weekend to recover from what had happened. Your brain still processing it all. Until you got a random text on Sunday.

'Hey angel, just want to check on you.'

Your heart flutters, having a smile light up on your face. The things she made you feel were insane. But it was the best feeling ever. Despite how wrong that was.

And that was the start of what seemed to be a secret relationship. Naughty right? But you just couldn't resist one another. And you were just so glad that you were over with it all, that year. So it wouldn't be as secretive. It was a Wednesday yet again, and you were making your way over there with Claudia. You hadn't told a soul, not even her. But she wasn't stupid. She knew something was going on. Today's outfit was yum. If you did say so yourself. She had her hair up in a bun, which you found out to be one of your new favorite things. And ofcourse an old favorite, the glasses. God they sent something animalistic through you.

You take a seat, ready to stare at your girlfriend. Wow, that was so incredibly odd to say. Even if you did say it in your head it sounded very strange. You had never referred to one another as 'girlfriends' everything just kinda happened. You were dating, but never once uttered those words. The class was almost over, which you were glad about so when everyone left you could say a quick hi to her. Lips to lips. As you get up your clumsy self had knocked over your books from inside your bag. "Fuck sake." You mumbled, you really needed a new bag. When someone goes to help you. It was a girl, slightly taller than you.

"Thank you." You give her a sweet smile. "That's happened before I noticed." She then says returning the smile. "Yes, this bag is old and ratty. I should probably get a new one when I get the chance." She nods at your statement. "I always see you around, I'm Silvi." She says offering you her hand. "Y/n! Nice to meet you Silvi." You watch as she goes to leave. "I'll see you around." You nod, giving her that sweet smile. Your eyes turn. "What?" You notice her eyes on you. "Nothing, that made you really smiley." You approach her. "Don't even, she just helped me with my books because of this stupid bag-" You hold it up, careful so things don't spill out again.

"Think you need a new one babe." She says going to kiss your cheek, but you grab her by the collar of her dark blue shirt, smashing your lips against her own. Her hands rest on your waist, kissing back with such passion. "I've been wanting to do that all morning." You admit, pulling away and smiling like an idiot. "Oh yeah?" You nod at that, going to sit on the small desk she sits at in the room. But you soon get off as you hear the door open, looking over to see Claudia. "Left my jacket." She looks at the both of you. Landing on you, giving you a suspicious look. Claudia was smart she knew what you two were upto.

But she wanted you to confirm it before anything. And you would in time. She then leaves again, causing you to look at Ms O'Connell. Even tho she insisted you call her Billie you just felt off about it. "You look so good today." She says to you. You blush slightly. "So do you, I love the glasses." She just smirks. "Oh I know."

Friday. It came around quickly but you didn't mind it at all, you use to. But ever since you got with, Billie. You've been enjoying that class way more. All because of her. You happen to be the first person in there today. You smile at her. "Hi baby." She says softly. You give her a giddy smile. Going to sit down. You tried not to make your glances obvious, if anyone found out that wouldn't go good for her and you did not want that happening. So you both had to be careful. But oh man was it tricky. All you wanted to do was pounce at her.

Weeks has past and your secret relationship is growing each day. You were currently over at hers, laying in her bed. Her apartment was nice, it was spacious, comforting. She was having a quick shower, getting ready for the day. Then your brain clicks and you immediately went to go join her. Getting up and heading in there. You strip off your clothes and step into the misty shower. "Hi." You say with a smile. She smiles back at you. "Hi beautiful, glad you could join me." Everytime she spoke to you, you feel your knees buckle. So soft, so sultry in her tone.

Her hands make contact with your face, going to kiss you passionately. Most kisses with her were like that. And you craved them, especially when they heated up. "How are you going with that work I gave you the other day?" She asks, putting some shampoo into her hands. Getting you to turn around so she can massage it into your hair. Your mind eases. "Good." You sigh out, closing your eyes in the process. "Good, I'm glad. You seem to be doing sooo good, baby." Your eyes open, brain shutting off.

It's as if she knew the exact effect she had on you. Your body goes to turn around, but her hand grips your hair, pulling you back so your head was on her shoulder. "Isn't that right my love?" You bite your lip, she was forever teasing you. She knew damn well of it. "Y-yes." You stutter out, still in shock at the grip she had on your strands. Her eyes roam your face features intently. "And." She begins, getting you to face her again. Coming really close. "You're just so good at listening." She finishes, reaching behind you to grip the flesh of your ass firmly.

Hearing the slight smack echo. You wrap your arms around her neck with a slight squeak. She smirks at your reaction, enjoying how easily you'd fold.

Wednesday. Yes you always wear skirts, long, short. But never this short. And guess who's attention that got first. Her eyes linger over your body, your thighs. You just wanted to look extra good for her today. Although it did catch the attention of a person who sat behind you. Billie, was wearing a white t-shirt and a black tie, she had her hair down and she just looked mouth watering. You stare for a moment as she talks about what you'll be learning today.

When you feel a tap on your shoulder, you silently look back at who did it. Silvi. "Hey, you look really good, you wanna maybe go out later." You freeze. "Oh uhm- I'm a bit busy today." You lied, she was nice. But you were literally with- someone ... Who's way older and is literally your teacher. You thought for a moment. Maybe you should, so it doesn't look weird. "The offer still stands if you free up." She finishes. You turn back around, seeing Billies back is facing you. Hopefully she didn't see.

Oh but she did. She saw enough before she turned back around. Why was she jealous. Was she worried you'd realize that this was all a mistake and that you'd want someone your own age. I mean it's not like shes old or anything. She was most definitely overthinking this but she's grown to have a true liking towards you. Maybe even love which is something a little difficult for her. So you really were special.

As the class ended and everyone leaves you go over to her. "Hii!" You say cheerful. She turns to look at you. "Hi babe." You could sense the hostile behavior. "Everything ok?" She looks you up and down. "Well one, that's very short no?" Your brow raises. "What are you my mo-" But she shuts you up by slapping her and on your mouth. Letting herself continue. "Second I saw Silvi talking to you, what'd she want?" You remove her hand. "What's with you today?" Her hand meets her hip. "Fine, she just asked to hangout. Was kinda thinking about it." Her brows furrow. "And why?"

You go to sit on her desk that was in the room. "I dunno, maybe so it doesn't look strange that I'm not with anyone." She sighs, she gets it and she doesn't. She hates the idea. "Still don't get why." You get off going to look at her properly. "You don't seem like yourself, maybe I should go." She immediately reaches out for your hand. "No, wait." She sighs. "I'm sorry, I- the idea doesn't sound good." She softens her look. Making you fold. "I, don't have. To go. I just- I think it would be best." She sighs, again. "Ok well, atleast don't wear that again." She points to your skirt.

"Ms O- Billie. It's just a skirt-" Then you got the sudden urge to mess with her. Maybe she had pissed you off slightly with the other stuff. So you get a wicked idea. "What? Don't like me being on display for everyone?" You give her an innocent look but she saw way past it. "Don't start with me." "Or what, whatcha gunna do." You say, biting your lip. "It won't end good for you." You grab her tie. Causing lust to arise in the both of you. "You're playing with fire." She growls. "You should play with me instead." She was so feral for you, her movements were speedy as she grabs you and picks you up. Heading into that smaller office on from the huge room. She closes and locks the door.

She gets close to you, making you look at her. Her face goes closer to your neck, moving up. "I want to fuck you on my desk." She says against your ear, keeping you from falling. "P-please-" and this woman wasted no time, clearing it instantly and making you lay back. She takes her hands and touches every limb on your body. You shiver, wanting to watch what she was going to do. You sit up a bit to see, watching her hands come down to your skirt. They slither against your thighs. "Even tho it is incredibly short you looked so good in it. So it stays on." Her fingers then grip your underwear pulling them off.

"Yes ma'am." You reply, biting your lip. She chuckles ever so slightly. That fucking chuckle. It made you go nuts. "You always make me feel so good." You breathe, leaning back on the table. "Yeah? Good baby, this is going to be even better." Her hands fiddle with the belt on her pants going to pull them down to reveal the fake dick attached to her. Your eyes widen as you hadn't expected her to be wearing that. It messes at the entrance of your hole, making your head lay flat on the surface behind you. Back arching to feel it more. "Please B-" But she pounces ontop of you before you could finish. "I want you to call me something else during this. Think you can?" You nod with a hum.

"Starts with an M." She says, running her finger along your jaw and your body. You caught on right away. "Mommy." She smirks. "Good girl." The tip slides in slowly as her lips move to your neck. You suck in a moan, something you tended to do. Sure you made noise but for some reason you tried not to. "Come on baby, don't shy away." She says near your ear. Your eyes shut feeling incredibly small under her. "Bi-" But she swiftly grabs your face. "Uh uh." You gulp. "Mommy, please. More. Please." You were a complete wreck. Feeling every sane thought slip away. Going entirely into sub space. And that's when she heard the prettiest noise coming from you.

"That's it baby, good fucking girl." She purrs into your neck, satisfied with what she had been wanting. Her strokes grew more powerful and fuck was it amazing. You were still worried you'd get caught and she knew of this. "Imagine one of your friends walking in. Your face would be so red huh?" You squirm slightly, feeling her cock going deeper, causing another sinful moan to escape you. "Mommy." You whimper. "Hmm, don't like the thought?" She laughs. "I think you do. Enjoying it invading your brain. You want someone to catch this naughty act don't you sweet girl?"

Your pussy clenches tight around her sucking her in. "You're gunna make me cum!" You moan out. "Good, that's the goal baby girl." Your breathing gets uneven, feeling your brain fog over. Her face coming close to yours. "Relax my girl." And you do exactly as told, you always listened to her. "F-fuck." You breathe, calming down a bit and giving into that intense pleasure. Spasming around her as you came hard. She looks down to where the plastic dick disappeared, watching you leak all over the brown table. "You're so perfect to me." She bites her lip. She was truly. Inlove with you.

"P-please.. need more." You go to sit up shakily, grabbing the tie yet again. "W-wanna ride you." You say hastily kissing her lips. Her hands make way into your hair scrunching a bit, causing more moans. "Mmm, ride me baby." She moves to sit on her chair. You coming to hover over her lap, her hands gripping the silicone to line it up for you. "Go on sweetheart. Let it consume you-" "There you go, good girl. Feels good?" You bite your lip as you sink down. Letting out a slight gasp at how deep it was. "Know it does huh." She then ruts up into you, making you grab her shoulders to stay stabilized.

"Mm, mommy." You say near her ear, moving your hips at a slow pace. Her hands move to speed things up, this new angle hitting her clit deliciously. "Come on baby, know you can do better than that." She grabs your face so you look at her. "Wanna make me feel good too?" You nod fast. "Yeah?" She smirks at you. "Move faster my girl. Because the way you're moving." She pauses coming close to your ear, breathing against it. "It's making mommy's clit twitch. All for you." You whimper, such a dirty one too. She smirks again, going to bite your ear. Your hips pick up pace.

"There you go, that's it." She moans into your ear. Making your eyes and thighs shut. "P-please." Her head tilts, knowing exactly why you said that. So her mouth comes to your ear again, making a louder more prominent moan escape her. Your mouth hangs open as you continue to move. "S-so close." Her teeth sink into your lobe again, making your grip on her shoulders tighten. "Me too baby, keep moving the way you are, youre being so incredibly good." You do just as told, like always. Keeping up with the speed. And within seconds your both cumming.

You're immediately exhausted, falling into her as her arms wrap around you. Tiredness taking over. Billie couldn't be more happy about this situation. Your eyes shut, falling asleep soon after in her arms. She's making sure you're asleep before her next words and once you truly are.

"I love you."

[cameronsprincess]

THE STORM (PT. 2) — J.M

— summary: it’s been six months since that night at the chateau with jj, and he’s back for more.

— CW: mean!jj, maybe forced proximity??, slight breeding kink, slapping, choking, degrading, unprotected piv sex.

— note: i kinda came up with something for this, and have had it in my drafts for a minute.. i queued it up before i went on my break, hope y’all enjoy and i’ll be back soon! you can read part one here if you haven’t already!

It’s been six months since that night. The night that has consumed your every waking thought, and every nightmare you had.

You’d always known JJ hated you, so you don’t know why it really surprised you that things went down the way they did. JJ was a horrible person to put it nicely. Sure, you felt for him at times, his home life not being the best and all, but after that night, you stopped caring, you stopped trying, and you tried your hardest to ignore him.

But it’s hard to ignore someone who continually puts themself in your line of sight. You knew you’d still see him, seeing as the two of you are both in the same friend group, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t ignore his presence. The more you tried to ignore him though, the harder he tried to get your attention.

He’d throw mean jabs your way, shoulder check you as he walked past you, you’d catch him staring at you from across a room or when you and your friends are gathered around a late night fire his bright blue eyes stayed glued on you when no one else was paying attention.

This was one of those moments.

You and your friends decided to have a fire at the chateau, and the only thing you could focus on was the blonde whose blue eyes were burning a hole into the side of your face.

“So like I said, he’s a dick, and I hope our dad kicks him out soon.”

You blink once. Twice. Three times before finally putting your focus back on Sarah who had been talking to you.

“I’m so sorry, Sare. I’m just out of it tonight, what’d you say?”

Sarah places a loving hand on your shoulder before laughing. “It’s cool, just me complaining about Rafe, per usual. Are you okay?”

You slowly nod your head, letting your head hang and your eyes focus on the seltzer you had in your hands. Truth was, you were far from okay. Even after everything JJ has put you through — before and after you had sex with him — you couldn’t get him out of your head. You wanted to feel him again, you wanted to let him ravage you again, and you hated yourself for it.

“Yeah I’m good. Just tired, I think I’m gonna call it a night,” You pause, looking up and calling for John B. “You mind if I sleep in the spare room tonight?”

John B smiles back at you, nodding his head once. “Yeah that’s fine! Looks like you got the couch tonight, J.”

Your eyes flit over to JJ, his intense fiery gaze already on you. The corners of his lips lift into a small smile, but it looked evil. “Yeah, that’s cool.” He said lowly, responding to JB but his eyes never left yours.

Your entire body feels like it’s on fire despite the cold December air, and it wasn’t from the large fire blazing in front of you. No, it’s JJ and his all consuming presence that has your body feeling like it’s burning from the inside out.

You quickly drop your eyes, downing the last of your seltzer and crushing it in your hand. You tell your friends goodnight and head inside the old house, tossing the can into the trash and making your way down the small hallway and into the guest bedroom.

You hated the way JJ made you feel. You hated him. You hated how you still wanted him even after he used you and quite literally tossed you to the side when he was done with you.

His words have torn you apart the last six months. “We don’t talk about this, ever. got it? It was just.. hate sex? Someone had to fuck the attitude out of you. This changes nothing, you mean nothing to me, and i still hate you.”

You’re stripping yourself of your jeans and thick sweater, getting ready to climb into the bed when the unmistakable sound of the bedroom door squeaking open has you turning fast on your heels.

JJ.

“What.. What’re you doing in here?”

You hate the way your voice has a slight shake to it, the way you don’t sound confident and how your entire body is shaking in his presence. But most importantly, you hate the way your pussy is throbbing, growing wet at just the sight of JJ and his fucking stupidly beautiful face.

He smirks at you, reaching a hand behind him and locking the door. You take a cautious step backward, your eyes narrowing and head cocked slightly to the side as you watch him watch you.

“JJ! What the fuck are you-”

The rest of your sentence dies when JJ reaches you with just two long strides, his large, calloused hand wrapping around your throat and shoving you into the wall behind you.

“You’re driving me fucking insane. You know that? I fucking hate you, yet, I can’t get you out of my fucking head.”

Your eyes go wide, tears clouding your vision as you try and gasp for air. Your lips move, trying to choke out a response or anything, but all that comes out is strangled nonsense.

“I’ve tried! I’ve tried fucking other girls, I’ve tried staying away from you. But you’re fucking everywhere. Do you know how goddamn irritating that is? Why can’t you just go back to figure eight and stay there? Why the fuck do you keep comin’ around here?”

You lift your arms, gripping onto his wrist that holds your throat and clawing at it, begging him to release you. It’s not your fault he can’t stop thinking about you. You weren’t the one that came onto him that night, it was him! So why are you being blamed? Why is he making it so hard to breathe? So hard to… To..

Black dots take over your vision, your body going numb as JJ tightens his hand around your throat, squeezing so hard you’re close to blacking out.

JJ senses your body going slack in his hold and releases you, stepping back and watching as you hunch over, hands gripping your knees as you suck in breath after breath of sweet oxygen.

Once your head is not longer spinning and you’re breathing properly again, you slowly lift your body, your pissed off gaze finding JJ still standing there.

“Fuck you, JJ! I didn’t do shit! You came onto me that night! You told me that it changed nothing, so frankly, I don’t fucking feel sorry that you can’t get me out of your head, in fact, it brings me great pleasure to know I’m all you think about,” you pause, squeezing your eyes shut and sucking in a slow, long breath of air. “So if you don’t fucking mind, I’m exhausted and just want to be left the fuck alone!”

You move to climb into the bed, but JJ grips your upper arm tightly pulling you back and flush into his firm body. His head dips down, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear and sending a shudder through your body.

His warm breath fans across your sensitive skin, and your nipples harden in response. Fuck him. You won’t give in easily this time.

“I think you want to fuck me again. I think, I’ve been in this pretty little head just as much as you’ve been in mine,” He pauses, his lips leaving a soft kiss on your temple. “Lay on the bed, Y/L/N. Now.”

You turn your head to look at JJ, your eyes narrowed into thin slits as you contemplate what to say. He’s not entirely wrong, but you’d be stupid to sleep with him again.

“Fuck. You. I refuse to let you fuck me again.”

JJ’s eyes darken, and the hand on your arm tightens more before he yanks you to the side and tosses you onto the bed. You lay there, chest heaving up and down as you watch him intently, waiting to see what he’d do next.

He stands there, staring at you, his own breathing erratic. Slowly, he pulls his tight white t-shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor. Your eyes scan the length of his tanned and toned chest. God, you want to feel him underneath your hands so badly, you want to give in and let him fuck you again. No one, and you mean no one, had ever fucked you the way JJ had.

“You look real pretty like this, in nothing but your bra and panties, actin’ like your pussy isn’t fuckin’ soaked f’me, crying f’me and just begging to be filled with my cock again.”

You open your mouth to speak, but JJ climbs on top of you, grabbing both your wrists in his right hand and pinning them above your head. You gasp loudly when you feel his cock pressing against your lace covered core, even through his jeans you can feel every last inch of him. Your pussy throbs, your arousal soaking your thighs as he lays there, unmoving but still the feel of his hard cock has you wanting to feel more of him.

“Tell me, princess. You wanna feel me inside you again? You wanna be fucked properly again? Because I know them kooks ain’t doing you no good. No, a girl like you needs to be dominated, needs to be choked and slapped and fucked nice and hard, needs to be put in her place, that what you want baby?”

You’re weak. You can’t even tell him no when your slick thighs, hard nipples and the way you’re breathing is giving the truth away. And the truth is, JJ is right. No one has compared to him. You want him to claim you, to break your mind and leave you craving more even when you know you shouldn’t.

“I- Please. Please fuck me.”

That’s all JJ needed to hear. He releases your wrists from his hand and yanks the cups of your bra down, exposing your tits to him. He smirks at the sight of your hard nipples, dipping his head down and licking each one before sucking one into his mouth.

He releases your nipple from his mouth with a pop, moving to the other and repeating his actions. “Fuck, such a filthy fucking slut, yeah? Loves the idea of fucking the one person she shouldn’t.”

You whimper in response, bucking your hips upward, craving any type of friction on your swollen, needy clit.

“Awww, how pathetic. Begging to be fucked already, don’t worry, baby, I’m gonna fuck this cunt, and I’m fucking it raw this time.”

JJ hops off the bed, popping the button of his jeans and sliding the zipper down with haste. You watch as he slides his jeans and boxers down his legs in one fell swoop, wasting no time in crawling back on top of you and claiming your lips with his.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down and further into you. You grind your hips against his, feeling his thick cock slide up and down through your slick folds. JJ groans in response, breaking the kiss and pushing himself up, supporting his weight with both his hands.

“So fuckin’ eager, aren’t ya? Wanna be fucked like the dirty little whore we both know you are.”

You nod your head fast, whimpering and moaning as you continue to grind your hips against the air. JJ laughs at you, his hand landing a harsh smack to your cheek before he grips his cock, stroking at it twice before sliding his swollen tip through your folds.

“P-Please, J! Please, fuck me! Wanna be fucked like a whore, wanna be your whore, the girl you hate but fuck anyways!”

JJ groans, the weight of your words hitting him hard. He looks down at you, eyes locked with yours as he pushes himself all the way inside you, filling and stretching your pussy. The two of you moan in unison.

“Fuck! So fuckin’ tight, feels so much better than I remember.” JJ rasps, his hips still, cock unmoving inside your pussy.

You begin grinding your hips, wanting to feel him move inside you, wanting his cock to bring you an orgasm.

JJ slaps at your face again, giving you a look of warning before he dips his head down and captures your lips with his again. He kisses you fervently and begins moving his hips, slowly at first, but then hard and fast.

You moan into his mouth when his swollen tip repeatedly hits at your g-spot, making your toes curl and fingers dig into the smooth skin of his back. “Fuckfuckfuck, JJ! Feels so fucking good!”

JJ picks up the pace of his thrusts, pounding himself inside you like it’s the last time he’ll ever do it, and you’re secretly praying it isn’t the last time. You need more of him forever, even if it’ll only ever be hate sex. It feels so fucking good, you can’t even think of another girl getting this from him.

“Yeah? Feels good? Want me to cum inside this pretty little pussy? Make you a mama and be stuck with me for the rest of your life?”

A loud moan escapes you at his words, and honestly, the thought isn’t too bad. You wouldn’t mind JJ knocking you up, you would always have a reason to see him, and maybe, just maybe, it would change the dynamic between the two of you.

You bite and suck on his lower lip as he continues his brutal thrusts, your pussy clenching around him with every push and pull of his cock. He slows his pace, slowly pulling out so only the tip remains inside you before harshly shoving himself back in. He continues to slowly pull himself out before shoving himself back in, his swollen head hitting that spot inside you over and over again until you’re so close to exploding you can taste it.

“J-JJ! Need.. Need to cum, please!”

Your teeth are chattering, legs shaking and belly tightening. You can’t hold off your orgasm, and thankfully, JJ doesn’t make you.

“Go on, make a mess on my cock, show me how much your pussy loves my cock being inside her.”

That was all it took, your orgasm gushes from you, soaking JJ’s cock and the sheets below you.

“JJ, oh God! Fuck!” You cry out, your nails digging into JJ’s back so hard you break skin.

JJ picks up the speed of his thrusts again, savagely fucking into your sensitive pussy, chasing his own high.

“Gonna cum inside this little cunt, claim you as mine, because you’re mine now, don’t wanna see you with anyone else, got it?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, moaning out a soft “yes”. JJ’s cock swells, twitching inside you as he comes undone, filling you with his cum like he said he would.

He thrusts inside you one final time, stilling and holding himself deep inside you, letting every last drop of cum fill you. Once he’s come down, he slowly pulls himself from inside you and places a kiss to your sweat slick forehead.

“Don’t know what else to say besides, you’re mine. I ain’t sayin’ I like you, or that I am gonna fall in love with you, but I don’t want no one else, and I don’t wanna see you with anyone else, got it?”

You slowly nod your head, your eyes fluttering shut as sleep tries to claim you. JJ quietly redresses, placing one final kiss to the top of your head before he makes his way out of the room. You drift to sleep, your mind consumed with what just happened, with JJ’s cum leaking from your pussy, and thoughts of what the fuck was to come from this little arrangement you just made with him.

JJ taglist: @princessslutt // @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles // @rafesthroatbaby // @sturnioloshacker // @starkeysprincess // @rafescurtainbangz // @atorturedpoetx // @redhead1180 // @ratatioulle // @maybankskiss // @jjsmarijuana // @romaescapes // @kisses4angel // @maybankslover // @simars3 // @urbimom // @antagonize-me-motherfucker // @ijustwanttoreadlols // @hyperfixationgirl // @chiaraanatra // @chimindity // @juniebugg // @unsaidjaelinrose // @momoewn // @spid6y // @drewsuncrustables // @eviesmoon // @bunbunbl0gs // @enzos-doll // @mishala // @ilovegeorgiaamoore777 // @lovelymiaablogs

JJ Maybank masterlist | Taglist form

[pineconepie]

Yan king???👀

I had a little fun with the worldbuilding because it gave me an excuse to use one of my old ideas.

I'll explain it briefly because I didn't do much explaining in the writing: there are five major kingdoms in the nation of Lepidoptra - Rosy Maple, Atlas, Luna, Death's Head, and the one where reader is from: Comet Kingdom. Everyone has wings that resemble a moth, along with antennae. (yes moths are a huge hyperfixation of mine)

Just thought I'd get that out of the way lol. Anyway, this is probably one of the most yandere characters I've written mwehehe.

TW: Attempted murder (kind of but not really), parental yandere, manipulation, implied gaslighting, infantilization

...

Ever since you could recall, your father had been very protective over you. He homeschooled you, didn't let you leave the house much, only allowed a few select friends, but those friends were also friends with your dad, and just getting paid to talk to you.

Your father would hold you as often as he could, making sure he was the first and last thing you'd see daily.

He had told you, ever since you were just a young mothling, your wings had been cut off by a robber who attempted to kidnap you, and thus, your father had to be extremely cautious in regards to keeping you safe at home.

You never left the house alone, and even if you did, you were monitored.

Sometimes, you'd get strange flashbacks. Almost like deja-vu, but these felt more vivid in your mind.

Once when you saw Castor, your father's, sword, you had a vision of yourself getting stabbed in the chest. Or when he'd look angry at you, you'd recall seeing that exact expression on his face before. But those thoughts went away as soon as they appeared.

Sometimes you'd get horrible nightmares of him. You dreamed he hurt you somehow. And yet, you'd always wake up feeling fine. Nothing hurt physically.

But mentally? Something just wasn't clicking right.

Recently you began sneaking out of the castle, not wanting to alert your father, and you began going to this little tavern at the edge of town to spend time with your village friends, ones you know for a fact your father would never dream of approving.

"Calliope, Osmond, hey," you greet warmly, walking over to their usual table in the corner, sitting down beside them.

"Hey," Calliope says, leaning her head against her hand. "How was escaping the palace? Almost got caught again?" Her bright golden wings flutter slightly as she grins.

"Nah, Dad doesn't suspect anything at all," you proudly state.

"Good, because he would have our heads," Osmond sighs. He shares an uneasy glance with Calliope, then glances back at you. "We wanted to speak to you about something unsettling we found. About your father."

You hesitate. "If this is about him and the Atlas Kingdom again, I told you already—"

"It's not about that," Calliope mutters. She pulls out a huge book from a satchel, one that barely even fits in it. "Okay, I'm about to warn you, this is weird as hell. Even Oz was weirded out."

"Well if he was unsettled by it, then I'm scared to see what it even is," you say with a breathless chuckle.

"We found it in the royal library," Osmond tells you quietly. "And well, this should explain it." He opens up the book and starts flipping through pages and pages until he lands on one in particular, pointing down at it for you to read.

It has your name and picture on it. Your full name, everything.

At first, you find it slightly strange, but think there may be some kind of explanation. Most of the pictures on the book show you when you were younger, being held on Castor's hip while he made speeches at ceremonies. He looks the same as he does now, except maybe with a bit longer hair.

Then you start seeing yourself getting older...

There's one of a memory you don't even recall, of a headline saying the "(Y/n), Child of King Castor of the Comet Kingdom, joins Arkema Mittrei, Academy" in which you're being handed over to the kingdom's most prestigious academy.

You were homeschooled, that never even happened!

Another one shows you using magic abilities, and you look older than you currently even are. And you have... wings?!

"That was our expression when we read it too," Calliope anxiously says. "We weren't supposed to be in the Royal Library since its always locked and guarded, but we managed to get in with Oz's magic. We were looking for more evidence to prove to you that your father is terrible, but instead we just stumbled upon this."

You don't know what to say. "This doesn't make any sense. I never went to any academy, and my wings..."

"And you look older in these photos," Osmond observes. "I don't know what is going on, but this is just further proof you can't trust him. I know he raised you and you love him, but he's controlling your life and clearly keeping things from you. I knew he caused a lot of meaningless wars and was incredibly paranoid about you, but this?"

"I'm at a loss for words, here," you murmur, shaking your head as you feel tears stinging in your eyes. "What the hell am I supposed to do?! Just confront my dad and hope for the best?"

Calliope puts a hand on your shoulder. "Run away with us," she proposes. "Oz's mom is in the Atlas Kingdom, we can find sanctuary there."

"No way am I just abandoning my dad with no warning," you argue. "Besides, he'd try burning down all of Atlas if he knew I was there! I'll just ask him for an explanation. I'm sure there is one."

"And risk letting him know you've been sneaking out of the kingdom?" Osmond scoffs. "Your death wish, not mine."

"Just give us at least a month or two," Calliope says. "Please. That way we can come up with a game plan."

You exhale quietly, your antennae twitching. "Okay. But no longer."

...

"Uhm, hey, Dad? I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Hm?" He peers his eyes away from the newspaper he's reading and smiles at you. "Of course! Come sit." You hesitate as he pats the seat next to him on the couch, and you reluctantly plop beside him. He hugs you closer to his chest. "So," he hums, kissing the side of your head, "what is it?"

"...have I ever went to Arkema Mittrei Academy?" You watch as his smile drops.

He glances off, contemplating a response before returning his gaze to you. "Oh, sweetheart, where did you hear that? Of course not! I think you'd remember something like that." His laugh sounds nervous. "Have you been having those scary dreams again?"

You bite your tongue. "No. I came across a book in the royal library. I know you don't like me going in there unsupervised, but I did. And I saw pictures of myself at the school, and another one where I'm older, and have my wings. Why do I have no recollection of those moments happening?"

His smile drops even more so, and now, his expression is unreadable. "Where did you get the book, baby?"

"I... uh, I got it in the royal library. I told you that," you stutter.

"How did you get in there unsupervised? There's always guards patrolling the library," Castor explains, narrowing his eyes. "Did someone help you sneak in?"

"What? No!" you lie. You start trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he holds you still.

"Baby," he soothes, almost condescendingly, "just tell Dad what he wants to know. I'm not mad."

He's lying. He's angry. You can't see the expression on his face because he's holding you so closely, but you can feel his rage boiling beneath his skin.

"No, I'm not lying. It was just left unlocked! But that's not my question, I wanna know what I saw in those! Why is there evidence of me doing and experiencing things I have zero memory of?!"

"I knew I should've burnt that damn book," he grumbles under his breath. "I thought you were doing so well this time."

"What do you mean 'this time'?!" you nearly cry, flailing so hard out of his grasp you fall to the floor.

"Oops!" Castor chuckles, standing over you with a cold grin. "Gosh, it feels like yesterday when you could hardly walk without tripping over your feet. Always so wobbly and unstable." He stands up and contemplates on something. "Alrighty, kiddo, since I'm so nice, you have two options. Bedtime and we'll forget about this, or you keep pushing me and we'll see where this takes us."

"What does that mean?" you rasp. "What will you do?"

Castor's bright wings spread out widely, as a show to intimidate you and make you feel smaller. "I really would rather we both just go to bed."

He's never hurt you in the past... "I just want to know what's going on."

"Well, for starters, all that information you think you know is irrelevant, it's been rewritten now," Castor replies nonchalantly, looking down at you. "All those things you saw happened, but you didn't experience them because that wasn't you. Not this you. The original you was too disobedient, so I had to reset and start all over again."

"Reset?!" you repeat incredulously. "What are you talking about?!"

Castor runs a hand through his hair. "Fine. Since you think an explanation is worth it. You can't die. You're immortal, just not in the same way I am. This is like..." He pauses. "...your nineteenth life or so, I believe? Once you die, you turn back into a baby. No injuries, no sickness, no memories. A clean slate. I try to avoid it, but whenever you start rebelling or growing too independent, it has to be done all over again."

"Nothing has to be done! You're killing me, just so you can what?! Watch me grow up again, exactly the same way?! What kind of twisted logic is that?!"

"Don't raise your voice at me," Castor scolds. "I'm not killing you, at least not technically. Besides, I love watching you grow, trying to find the perfect way to raise you. But it seems like no matter how I do so—whether I give you your freedom or make sure I'm the only face you see, you always end up leaving."

You shudder at his cryptic words. "Were you the one who cut off my wings?"

Castor waves a hand dismissively. "Only because you kept trying to run away with them. But they always regrow back once you're reborn." He pulls out a dagger, one you now understand why he always carries it with him.

"Dad, please..." you quietly plead, scrambling back in an attempt to stand up. "I'm sorry. We can let this go."

His eyes darken. "Not an option anymore, sweetie. You asked for answers, and you got them. Hey, maybe the twentieth time is the charm." He lunges for you, holding you down so he can lift his blade. "I'm so sorry, kiddo. I promise it'll just feel like a pinch, and then you'll wake up good as new!" His expression is sweet and adoring, but also crazed.

Just as he brings the blade down and you squeeze your eyes shut, all your hear is Castor's groan of pain.

"(Y/n)!" Calliope yells, grabbing onto your hand and yanking you up.

Castor wipes the blood running down his nose, glaring at the two of your friends. "(Y/n), you made some friends, huh? Must've been sneaking out behind my back for a while if they're jumping in their own graves for you." He gets back to his feet and starts approaching. "Step away from my child before you really regret it."

"Let's go!" Osmond demands, opening up a portal in front of Calliope after she pulled you to your feet.

The three of you tumble in, right before Castor tries attacking you as well.

Then suddenly, you're back outside, standing in the forest where your kingdom stood tall. You can hear him scream in frustration from all the way out here, likely calling for guards and barking out orders.

"He knows magic too," you whisper. "He won't be too far behind."

"I can only make portals so far," Osmond murmurs. "We need to run. Now."

[sunflower-author]

Yandere Bonten x Reader

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The reader is Gender neutral in this!!

TW: Sewer slide attempt, attempt drug use,

Bonten Timeline, where Bonten has kept you in the penthouse for a LONG time, and out of spite from every horrible thing they have ever done, you decide not to speak to them out of resentment Bottling up all your emotions. Hoping that they will eventually grow bored of you and either let you go or finally end your suffering.

One day, in particular, everything that you had been bottling up has finally reached its breaking point...

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“Y/N, go get your hairbrush on the bathroom counter please, I can tell you didn’t brush your hair this morning,” Kakucho said, sitting down on the couch right beside you.

Ever since Mikey said that he prefers your hair long, you were forced to grow it out. You can’t say you like it, but at least it hides all of the ugly marks on your neck and body from them…

Everyone else just goes with it; whatever Mikey says goes. It is unsure if the others like your hair as much as he does, but no matter what, they sure do act like it.

Getting up, then making your way to the main bathroom everyone uses, spotting the black brush, then grabbing it, and just as you were about to leave it caught your eye.

A little orange bottle with a white childproof cap. Slowly picking it up, you begin to realize that it is one of Sanzu’s many drugs. He must have left it here on accident, rushing for his mission today.

Bad day for him, but amazing for someone like yourself.

There is a good amount of pills in this container, and knowing Sanzu, only carrying around the ‘best’ (strongest) on him. He could drain this dry and it still wouldn’t be enough for someone like him.

This would be enough to kill any normal person, especially someone who has been clean for over a few years.

Slowly opening the cap, pouring the rest of the bottle in hand. Then quickly raise all of it to your mouth, only to have a hand grip your wrist.

You don't even need to turn to know who it is.

“I can’t even leave you alone for a minute before you end up doing something dangerous, put it down,” Kakucho says as he sighs. Physically, there is no chance against Kakucho.

Putting your arm down slightly to put the pills back in the bottle, while you are doing that, Kakucho’s grip softens little by little.

Once the cap is closed, you turn to look at him dazed.

“I won’t tell anyone… but if I catch you doing that again, I’m telling everyone,” he says, as he takes the pill bottle. Nodding your head yes, you just grab the brush as you both walk back to the couch.

After settling down, he starts to brush your hair. “Honestly what were you thinking? Did you just want to be on drugs or something, or was that a serious attempt?” he asks, sighing again.

“Listen I know that you hate your life here. But is it truly that bad? You can have whatever you want, having Kokonoi and Takeomi buy you anything you could dream, Sanzu would literally do anything for you, Mocchi would always listen to your rants when you talked, Ran and Rindou well they argue a lot but are fun to watch too… I try my best… even if you don’t see it…” his words are slow and cold.

“I admit that I am just as guilty as the rest of them, and everything we do is for your safety… even if you don't think it is… that is the truth…You may despise us for the rest of your life, but as long as we can keep you safe, that is what matters…” At this point, he seems to be pouring his heart out…

Sadden asks, “Do you hate me…? For doing all of this?” Shocked you shook your head no… Kakucho did nothing… all he ever did was follow orders, even if he hurt you and others, he is not to blame, you know that he feels guilty for everything he has done. After all, you have always felt slight empathy towards Kakucho, he is the kindest out of all of Bonten.

“Will you please talk to me again,” He begs more than questions, you just shrug, leaving that as that. “Is life better now, than when it was when you first was brought here?” he asks, you reply with a simple nod. “That’s good at least, although I can imagine that it was like hell, the first few days,” he responds. Try the first few weeks…

After a good handful of questions, he pauses for a few seconds like he is thinking, confused, you tilted your head back and looked at him. Suddenly it is like the lightbulb rang for him.

“Would you be willing to respond to me, with more specific answers, if I have you write it down? That way you wouldn’t have to speak?” he says, nodding your head yes. He rushes out of the room to grab something.

When he is back, he has an iPad in hand, pulling out the stylist pen, he gives the pen to you as he sits on the couch. Looking at the Ipad it is already in drawing mode. “Now… why don’t you talk?” he asks.

‘I wanted to punish you guys for everything you ever did to me. I thought if you guys assumed I was broken, maybe I would find a way, to not live like this, even a peaceful death would be ideal.’

When he was reading this you could tell that he was stunned unsure of how to respond he just asked another question. “How long are you going to keep this up?”

You write, ‘Until I can be free, or at least have some freedom’

“I can talk with Mikey…” You both know that the conversation will be a waste of time for both Kakucho and Mikey, but he can still try if he wants to.

‘You’re a good person Kakucho, compared to everyone else you have the most empathy. Plus you only follow orders, due to your loyalty. I know you mean no harm to me, even if it is for better or worse, truthfully if it was just you and me I would talk to you.’ You wrote down.

“What do you mean? We are alone,” he states. Just two words I write down, ‘security cameras’ After he reads that he says, “Oh I forgot about that…,” as he looks up around the room looking at the cameras.

“I know you think we are being excessive with everything, but you have to know, we are doing everything we can to protect you… we know everything about you… there are no secrets that are kept between us…” He takes a longing pause. He is quiet… too quiet, Shit you have a bad feeling about this…

He sighs thinking, then turns to you. “Y/N… you know that Bonten made a pact to keep no secrets, and to take care of you… and today you just tried to overdose with Sanzu’s drugs… This is not just a small secret I would be hiding from them. This is about your life you could have died today if I wasn’t there to catch you... I’m sorry but I will have to tell them. I care about you and your safety… this is something I can’t hide from them.” he says looking down in shame.

This fucker… If he tells them you would be on a tighter leash than before. Things would be like how they were when they first took me. There is no way in hell you are starting back at the bottom. You have worked your way by playing nice, then the silent treatment, which they all hate. If you are back at the bottom it will take months til you can just freely walk around this building.

You know what… Fuck it you had already told him too much if you go out... You're going out with a bang. This is just a lot to grasp… This is to be expected from Sanzu, Ran, Mochi… But Kakucho?... Kakucho is too loyal for his own fucking good.

Blinded by rage, standing up you yell. “You’re Just As Fucked Up As The Rest Of Them,” After saying it is weird… your voice doesn’t sound like your voice, it is weak, and not as loud as you would have wanted to say it… Fuck... You messed up your vocal cords.

Looking at Kakucho in a brief second, he is taken aback. Your voice shocked him and yourself. Just wanting to leave and go into the bedroom.

However... As you turn you see the rest of the Bonten members, standing by the door, in pure shock. That gives you enough information, to know that they heard you.

Well, fuck….

A few moments of silence fall upon us until you finally dare to try to walk away. Only taking a few steps before a voice was heard. “Hold on Y/N, come over,” Great and that was Mikey…

You are immediately making your way infront of him and the group. “You talk to Kakucho, but not me,” he says voice filled with hurt. Should you dig myself deeper into this mess?

“I’m sorry, Mikey…” you weakly manage out, after yelling at Kakucho, you need to rest my vocal cords, your voice is hoarse, and it hurts so much the others can tell, to the point some flinch once they hear. But it doesn’t matter, you could be feeling the worst pain ever, and as long as you're alive and breathing they would be okay with that.

“So what? That is all you have to say? We heard you talk, give up your little tantrum, and talk to us, I knew you would break… longer than I anticipated but you still broke,” Ran says, wanting to hear you talk, after not hearing your voice for over a few years, judging the room they all want to hear it too.

Did this Bitch not just hear me talk? What else would he want me to say? Is he truly such a fucking sadist that he wants to hear me struggle to talk? you begin to think.

Well, in that case, you plan on saying something to him loud and clear.

“You know what? Fuck you Ran, I have been wanting to say that for so long now, you are such a manipulative shit, you really think I didn’t see through all your bullshit, how you think of yourself as a god… you think you are so great… you are just a sadist, who cheats, and contributes to nothing…. It is only because of your ‘respect’ which was beating up kids younger than you, were you feared, without beating up helpless kids, you ought to be nothing, you would still be at the bottom of Roppongi in jail, with all of the failures,” you say holding my throat, trying not to breathe hard.

“Calm down Y/N, you know it is just Ran being Ran,” You are not sure if Rindou is being sincere in saying this or saying this just to shut you up. At this point you don’t give a fuck, you're already pissed.

“You think you’re any better Rindou? the only reason people see you as a nice person is that everyone compares you to Ran. Since I can remember people have been blinded by Ran, all overlooking just how cruel, and cold-hearted you are. You are just a follower, doing whatever Ran tells you to do, following blindly behind him. To the point where all you will ever be… is your big brother’s shadow…” Your voice is getting softer and softer, Shit, you worry, just how much longer will you still be able to talk?

“Your voice is getting worse, stop talking Y/N,” Kokonoi says concerned.

“You wanna be next?” You ask “Because you-,” Just like that, you couldn’t even finish your sentence before starting a coughing fit. After catching your breath, and notice just how sore your throat is, feeling like the after-effect of overusing it, pained to the point where it hurts to breathe.

Seeing your vision start to blur, starting to tear up. You have no idea why… What is wrong with you? Is it the pain? Or are you just being emotional all of a sudden? Why do they all have to be here? Do they think you're weak now? What is wrong with everything? How did things end up like this?...

Feeling arms wrap around you. Freezing, but then recognizing it is Kakucho. Even when you curse at him, he is here comforting you. You can’t hate him but you can’t love him. All you can do is accept him, and that is exactly what you did, at that moment.

Breathing out a breath, you didn't realize that you were holding. Relaxing your shoulders, and body, turning into his chest, not being able to handle all of their cruel stares. No matter how hard you try, tears won't stop falling…You can just feel their eyes burning your back.

“What are you guys all staring at? You all are acting like children watching a movie, Y/N has never shown any emotion for over a year, and when they finally do, all you guys plan to do is watch. They are breaking down in Kakucho’s arms,” Akashi says, breaking the tension and silence.

Always count on Akashi to be an adult when situations become grim.

“We’ll all talk together on the couch…” Mikey says, hearing his footsteps go, and the others follow behind him, as they fade. You feel Kakucho gently push you, away from him.

“Ready to follow?” he whispers. Nodding your head yes, as you slowly walk to the coach, Everyone is sitting down, and Mikey motions you to sit between him and Akashi the only other two that can keep a calm mind, no matter what goes down.

At this point, you've stopped crying, but your nose and eyes were still red, and once you sat down all hell broke loose.

“I think that Y/N should get punished for talking to me like that,” “They are hurting enough, what they said was nothing, compared to what your victims say to you,” “And I kill them for it,” “Stop being such a big baby Ran, just man up,” “Oh I know you did not just tell me to ‘man up’, being the only one that doesn’t even get their hands dirty,” “Oh? Do you want your little allowance cut?” “I swear to God, Koko if you-”

“Enough,” Mikey says, everyone is still, no one dares disobey the leader after all.

Mikey then looks at Akashi signaling something, then Akashi looks at you. Confused you wait until he says.

“Now Y/N I know you're in pain, but what you said to Ran and Rindou was uncalled for, completely immature, and you knew that were their… weak points, you need to apologize to them,” Akashi says, careful of his words.

“I’m sorry… Rindou… Ran,” you say looking down, in a low tone, your voice still scratchy.

“What was that? It was hardly sincere and he could at least talk loud enough for me to understand,” Ran complains.

Seeing Akashi give you a look, you knowingly sigh. Looking up at Ran in the eyes, hatefully “I'm sorry… Ran” louder, hearing the anger and strain almost raspyness. Then turning to his brother, calming yourself, you softly say “Sorry,” being earnest.

Just as the older brother is about to say something, Akashi cuts him off saying “Ran,” in a warning tone. Ran ends up rolling his eyes, and he leans back more on the couch.

“Now Y/N…” You hear Mikey say, grabbing everyone's attention.

“Do you or Kakucho want to explain what happened today? Especially for you to lose your temper like that?” He asks intrigued about what happened, he has not normally shown this much emotion for quite some time, putting everyone more on edge.

Looking at Kakucho in a warning, begging way, for him not to tell them. Kokonoi, being the observant person he is notices. “Oh? It must be good to have you looking at Kakucho like that…” Right when Koko says that all the other's eyes are on you. Fuck…. Just great…. you think.

Looking down, ignoring their stares, waiting for Kakucho to say something.

“Today, Y/N went to the bathroom to grab their hairbrush… they were taking a bit longer than normal… so I went to see what the problem was… and when I looked in the room…” He pauses, feeling uncomfortable.

“Well hurry up what happened?” “It can’t be ‘that’ bad… can it?” “Just spit it out already,” “Kakucho…” Mikey says softly, not demanding, but reassuring, and manipulative… he can be gentle.. When he wants to…

Kakucho then takes out the pill bottle, tossing it to Sanzu only for it to be caught, by Akashi. “I found him about to take the rest of the pills in the bottle,” he finally says. Sanzu starts to pale, knowing he’s in trouble.

Everyone else, looks at Sanzu, like they're about to kill him… I wouldn’t be against that…

“The rest of these you say Kakucho? Sanzu…Just 5 at once would have killed them… Nevertheless the rest of this bottle… you were careless…" Akashi says looking at Sanzu, but then he continues.

"Almost getting Y/N killed… But then again... Who knew,” he says now turning to you.

”They would be so suicidal,”

(IDK HOW TO END THIS... PLZ LMK IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS;))

[leah-lover]

Meeting again. Alexia x reader part 3.

Reader is confronted by her friends.

Saying that tension was in the air would be an understatement. After the hellos, hugs and kisses the whole team went back to the changing room and took Leila with them. So there I was standing in front of Alexia, mapi, ingrid, parti, claudia, and aitana.

The silence was loud and their glares were unforgiving. All i thought to myself was that i didn't belong in barca anymore, i was cursing myself for ever choosing to leave city before Ingrid said “ We cant talk about this here how about we go to a restaurant and have a proper conversation.”

The rest of the girls seemed to agree with her, then Parti jumped and said “ okay then we will meet at our usual spot in about an hour, you still remembered no ?” she asked me with a sarcastic tone.

Confused, I only nodded and waited for them to all get inside before I breathed again. This encounter was harsh but I had a feeling it wasnt gonna get any easier.

After an hour I found myself at a table in my favorite restaurant with feelings I buried three years ago. All the anger, shame, and sadness came back with it. I waited a little before they all came together except alexia who was running late.

“ So how do you want to start this? Maybe with an apology for what you have done.” started Patri as soon as she sat down, which earned her a jab from Claudia who told her to be nicer.

“ i don't know what had gotten into you these past three years Patri but i don't this i have anything to apologies about.'' I replied with a defensive tone.

“ yes you do carino. You let us, no goodby no nothing we had to learn the news from instagram like everybody but we are not everybody we are your family and we felt hurt. Plus you didn't talk to us for 3 years. You denied every try at contacting you. You abandoned us you……” said mapi softly so as to not sound angry because she wasn't. They all went angry; they were just hurt.

“ Look, we don't have to do this. I came here to do my job and play good fucking football. I did this for my career not to rip my insides out again.'' I replied, trying to hold back my tears.

“ Darling, we are not trying to hurt you, we are trying to understand you. We are just curious why our best friend left us. ” explained ingrid with a concerned look on her face.

“ there is nothing to understand that your bestfriend is dead. She died three years ago. I have been a walking corpse since I left. I don't feel anything i am numb to everything.'' I managed to get out before a few tears left my eyes.

I then got up and went out. I was overwhelmed and all the feeling came back rushing. Which led me to hyperventilate. Suddenly I felt a hand on my back.

“ I am sorry about our reaction. We didn't know this would happen. We acted out of love for you. We missed you. We just are so very sorry just come back inside.” said aitana before pulling me into a hug.

I then started crying, all the tears i have been holding back decided to go out all at once.

“ i love her tan, i still do, i abandoned her, i gave up on her i didn't fight for her.'' I said while crying into tana’s shoulder.

“ I know darling, I know. She loves you too. She has been suffering without you we all have. Now just come back inside please.” she added running her hand through my back.

“ i dont think it's a good idea, I just want to go home now.” I said after we separated.

“ okay. Call me when you are ready to talk, okay.” she added before going back in.

When I got home Leila was already there. So as soon as I saw her on the couch I went straight to her and laid on her chest.

“ How did it go?” she said, running her hand through my hair.

“ fucking horrible.” I answered.

“ Do you want some ice cream?” she asked. “ I will get you some ice cream.” she answered herself after looking at me.

When Leila was gone the doorbell rang so i went to answer it.

And there she was in front of me, beautiful as ever. “ I know you want space but we need to talk.” she said and I ushered her in.

“ I miss you and I want you back.” she started after sitting on the couch. “ I know I was shitty to you, you didn't deserve what I put you through. I changed carino. You motivate me to get my priorities straight. You are my number 1 priority. You matter more than football more than le and more than life itself. Please give me a chance again. Please mi amor.”

Her words left me speechless. I was too tired to start over. I just want to be comforted and loved.

[queenshelby]

Business As Usual (Part Two)

Pairing: Dark!Thomas Shelby x Wife!Reader

Warning: Dubious Consent, Arranged Marriage, Religious Themes, Angst

Words: 2,000 

The following day…

The following day, when Tommy woke up in his bed, alone and without Laura by his side, he sought out one of the maids, enquiring about her whereabouts.

“The lady has left sir. She was in a hurry after running into your wife” Frances told him and Tommy knew what this meant. You must have known about him sleeping with her and, yet, he did not think that you would have cared much about it and, perhaps, you did not. Perhaps him sleeping with a woman like Laura did not bother you at all.

“My wife?” he asked. “Where is she?” Tommy wondered and, when Frances had told him that you had a meeting in town, he believed that he already knew what this meant although he could not have been certain.

In his mind, you, too, were seeing someone else. His name was Frank and Frank was a doctor at the hospital for which Shelby Company Limited had recently commissioned a whole new ward, treating women and their infants.

It was the best hospital in the region and Frank was the leading surgeon in paediatrics. You met him through the charity work which you conducted at the same hospital and, since charity work was the only kind of work your husband allowed you to do after failing his promise to you, he had nothing but himself to blame for this so-called leap of fate.

Unbeknownst to your husband however, the suggestion that you were seeing someone else in an intimate way could not have been further from the truth. Frank was simply a good friend of yours, someone who listened to you. Frank took no interest in you and usually laid with men.

But then again, this too, had to remain a secret as this kind of interaction between men was prohibited in the 1920s. It was punishable by imprisonment and you certainly did not want the only man who cared about you to go to prison because of your inability to keep secrets.

***

Frank was the one person whom you had told everything about your life except for your family’s criminal past. You had told him about your marriage to Tommy and the problems that arose from your bond to the Shelby family. You told him about the fact that, even though you were married to Tommy six weeks ago, your husband never touched you again. You had only ever slept with each other once, on your wedding night, for lack of other options and it felt horrible to say the least.

In your religion, it was a requirement for you to consummate your marriage in order to legalise the marital bond and your parents were rather strict about the fact that, until such night, you were not to engage in any sexual relations whatsoever. You were innocent until that day and then this innocence was taken from you without any care for the consequences.

You recalled that day, the ceremony, and everything else surrounding it. You recalled you offering yourself to this man so that your sister did not have to endure the hurt of living in this nightmare.

It was an arranged marriage of course, a part of a business deal and, when you had found out about it and volunteered yourself to the cause so that your sister would be spared, you spat on the floor right in front of your new husband, despising him for what you were forced to do.

“You disgust me “you told him, seeing that he had agreed to take a woman like you or your sister as a wife for the sake of his business. You were nothing but a token and, return for taking you on, you knew that he would make at least twenty million pounds.

“A man like you has no business with a woman like me. You are gypsy thief, are you not?” was the first thing you said to Tommy while standing in front of the alter and, of course, this kind of language was insulting to him and his family.

“A man like me, eh?” your husband to be then chuckled sarcastically and, he too, despised you now, not realising that you only said what you did in order to cope with the fact that you had to marry a stranger.

“It’s funny seeing women like you thinking that her family’s hands are fucking clean whereas, the truth is that your father is worse than any man I have ever met. But you already know how many men had to die for your wealth, don’t you, eh?” Tommy then asked just before you managed to shed a tear.

“That is enough! My father is dead now and I forbid you to speak of him like this” you cried, but Tommy would not relent.

“Yes, he is dead now. He died two fucking days ago and this is why you need to marry me, isn’t it? Because your uncles are too fucking stupid to run the family business, which is why your mother sold you off to the next best gypsy thief to run the business for her” Tommy then said in frustration, earning him a slap across the cheek right in front of the guests to the wedding ceremony.

“Enough, I said!” you then repeated yourself just before asking the priest to carry on and, with that, you became Thomas Shelby’s wife.

***

Just as you replayed the entire ceremony in your head, however, the night of your consummation also came to your mind and whilst you knew that it had to be done, it was something your mind was torn about.

Tommy, himself, had no intention to follow through with this part of the ceremony but, in the end, he agreed after you gave him your reasoning and your consent.

You both knew it had to be done and, whilst there were certain mechanisms in place to ensure compliance with the traditional laws, your new husband told the intended witness to the act to kindly fuck off after she walked you both to your material bedroom.

“I will just sit over there” she told you while Tommy lid himself another cigarette.

“You what?” he asked. “Why?” then came out of his mouth and even though you were not amused by the situation, you could not help but chuckle.

“She will want to watch us consummate our marriage. It is a requirement of our congregation” you told Tommy in a tipsy state, which was what you knew would get you through the night.

“I am not having a stranger in the room for my fucking wedding night” he chuckled and, just as he did, you downed another glass of whiskey and watched the situation unfold.

“Mr Shelby, it is a requirement to…” the woman began to say, trying to argue with him, but Tommy interrupted her quickly.

“Listen Love, I don’t care about your fucking requirements. I am not having you watch me have sex with my wife, alright? Now fuck off” he spat before pulling out some cash and handing it to the stranger.

“As you wish Mr Shelby, I will give you some privacy for the act, but I will need to check on your wife later. You do not need to present for that” the woman then explained and, of course you knew what that meant whereas your husband, clearly, did not.

***

“Thomas, she will tell if we do not consummate our marriage” you thus tried to explain to him after the woman had left, but Tommy did not seem to understand the seriousness of the situation. He had gone so far already and, what he did not realise was that it may all have been for nothing now.

“I made sure that she won’t. I gave her five hundred quid. Despite, I am not going to fuck you even if you had begged me to” Tommy then said with some anger in his voice. He clearly still hated your guts and did not understand why you were suddenly so concerned about your marriage being annulled.

“Oh god, of course not. You are only interested in fucking whores, so I have heard” you teased him in order to anger him more, but he did not fall for that.

“Too right and there are two waiting for me as we speak, so if you would excuse me…” Tommy began to say and you interrupted him.

“No! You are not actually getting out of this” you spat with anger as well and your husband certainly looked confused right now.

“What do you mean?” he thus asked while you kicked off your heels and looked at him contently.

“Look, this woman is a doctor. She will perform an examination on me after you leave the room. It is what my mother has arranged so that she could ensure that the marriage between us is recognised by the congregation and our family” you then explained somewhat reluctantly, causing Tommy’s chin to drop.

“Your mother is fucking insane Love” he then spat almost immediately and you certainly could not argue with that.

“She is and, yet, you seem to be wanting to be part of our family business, don’t you? Because this is what it takes Thomas Shelby!” you told him, eliciting a loud sigh.

“It’s twenty million dollars, Love. Of course, I want to be part of your fucking family business” he responded and you explained the situation to him again.

“Well then, unfortunately for you, you will need to fuck me. Otherwise, you won’t be having an in on the family business and all of your hard work would have been for nothing” you told him before downing yet another glass of whiskey. It was your fifth and you knew that you needed to be at least somewhat drunk for what was to come next,

“Listen Love, even if I did want to fuck you, which I do not, I am not going to force myself on you” Tommy said, shaking his head and you appreciated the fact that he was not that kind of man who would take what he needs at all costs.

“So, this where you draw the line, huh?” you asked nonetheless, labelling him as weak.

“Yes. I may be a criminal, but I do have morals Y/N” he explained and you laughed.

“Morals, eh? That’s funny” you chuckled.  “Well, you don’t have to force yourself on me. I will consent to it if you promise me to make it quick, because I don’t want you that close to me for any longer than I have to” you then explained before aiming for yet another glass of whiskey which Tommy immediately pulled out of your hand.

“You will make yourself sick if you keep going like this” Tommy then lectured you and you chuckled again.

“And why would you care? Just get it over with and then go back downstairs to talk business. Go on” you sighed, causing Tommy to furrow his eyebrows.

“Fuck, you are just as bad shit crazy as your mother, eh?” Tommy said but you shook your head. You had an idea which came to you after the ceremony and after talking to your new aunt Polly who said that the family needed more women in charge. This was something that made you think and you came to the realisation that, perhaps, this unit would not be so bad after all.

“No, I am not crazy, Thomas. I am much smarter than her. I will play along with your little game and be your wife if you give me the export divisions of the business to look after. I know everyone in the industry and, at least that way, I can spend time in America as well” you explained but Thomas shook his head angrily again.

“No fucking way Love. I have men for that” he told you, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“Okay, suit yourself. It was nice having been married to you for five and a half hours, Mr Shelby” you then said before turning away from him and this was when he realised that he was lacking choices. He needed this business deal to go ahead with the impending threat by the Chinese and he knew that only you could make this happen now.

Your family business gave him a secure way into the American drug and liquor market and this was exactly what Tommy and his family needed after the Wall Street crash had cost them their fortunes.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

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[cambria-writes]

Chapter 1: Blow out all the candles

pairing: astarion x bard!f!reader word count: 6,010 rating: T13 warnings: swearing, mentions of blood and gore, implied past sexual abuse/assault, nothing outright spoken about, if there's anything else to be tagged please let me know

a/n: it's here! and it's proofread! i'm very excited to put this out because i've been working on it for actual months by now. i think about this when i go to bed at night and i look forward to the weekend to keep writing. i don't know that there will ever be smut—there might be, i just haven't properly considered it yet—but there will be a lot of self-indulgent soft moments with the bastard.

please let me know what you think, and comment if you'd like to be tagged for future updates!

You feel like shit.

You feel like shit, there are burns all over you, and the whole of your party smells like soot, death and disappointment. Well, at the very least, you, Lae’zel and Astarion do. Karlach seems to be managing perfectly fine if her boasting is anything to go by. And she tends to smell like smoke most days, to begin with.

Shadowheart, bless her, manages most of the minor wounds on her own. Chastises you gently for running into a burning building again—this time literally. Her lecture has no bite though; she can see on all your faces that this latest encounter has left an extremely bitter taste. In all of your mouths, not just yours or hers, and not just because of the smoke.

Once you no longer look like more of a corpse than your actual undead party member, you drag your feet back to your tent. Grab a change of clothes, pull a bucket from by the fire—with a promise to a whingeing Gale to bring it back, clean and preferably full of equally clean water—and thoughtlessly head towards where you’d last seen running water. It would suck, it would probably be freezing, and the idea of being mostly unarmed in any state of undress makes you want to curl in on yourself and disappear into the Underdark. Maybe let the monsters there take you, while you’re at it. At least then you wouldn’t have to worry about an uninvited guest in your fucking skull.

But there is work to be done. Horrible, dreadful work. You know you’ll sleep… maybe not better tonight, but at least not as miserably, you hope. All that physical exertion has to be good for something.

You try not to think of the people at Waukeen’s Rest as you walk. Conveniently—or supremely inconveniently—there’s already someone in the clearing you’ve wandered into. The shock of white hair lets you know it is, in fact, Astarion who’s sat at the water’s edge. You figure the only reason he hasn’t noticed you yet is because he seems very… aggravated. His back is turned to you, but you can tell he’s violently trying to scrub something out of his hairline.

Probably the same blood, gore and soot that’s dried into yours.

You raise the bucket in your left hand and knock into it with your right. The vampire flinches and spins around so quickly you wonder if secondhand whiplash is a thing. There’s a moment where his face displays what you’re almost certain is fear, before he controls his expression into something more akin to familiar annoyance.

“Oh. You. What do you want?”

You wrinkle your nose at his almost pouty tone. Lately, Astarion’s been especially bitter with you. No idea why; maybe it’s because you turned him down those two times he propositioned you? You hadn’t figured he was serious. He flirts all the time with nearly everything with a pulse—probably things without if given half a chance—how would you ever know if he was being genuine?

…or maybe it’s the whole conversation with Raphael. Hm. Well it’s not like anyone—except Astarion, apparently—could fault you much for not wanting to trust a devil. At all. Ever.

You’re thinking too much about it.

Instead of offering an immediate answer, you approach Astarion with a not insignificant amount of caution.

“I can…” you start, but trail off. If you offer help—which he clearly needs, what with being unable to see his own reflection and therefore see his own face to wash the dried blood, soot and grime off of it—he’s going to refuse you. If you try to impose yourself, you’re probably just… not going to make it to see the next morning, actually.

So you hedge your bets and, after taking a few more careful steps forward, reach your hand out, palm up.

“May I?” You ask, gesturing vaguely at the washcloth Astarion’s holding. He predictably narrows his eyes at you. His gaze flickers between your outstretched hand and your face as though there’s some form of deception there that he should be able to see.

His right leg shifts, just barely. You already know that’s the side that has a small dagger hidden in the boot. You do your best to pretend you don’t see or know.

You’re not sure you do a terribly good job of it. Astarion sighs—a terribly loud, put-upon sound that just reminds you of a child being told to clean their room.

“Fine. Just be quick about it.”

You’d sigh yourself if you didn’t think it would set him off even more. So instead you approach, carefully and slowly as you can manage without looking too terribly awkward. Once you’re a foot or two away, you grab the washcloth and give it a quick rinse in the river. Once you’ve wrung it out, you maneuver the bucket upside down to sit on it and scoot yourself a bit closer to the… very obviously displeased vampire.

You barely catch yourself; when your right hand comes up to his face with the washcloth, your left immediately follows. It hovers by his cheek and you freeze, for a moment, and try to remember to breathe under Astarion’s extremely judgemental stare.

“Can—do you mind?” you ask, barely over a whisper, quickly glancing at your left hand. You’re already curling your fingers to pull it away.

The vampire spawn rolls his eyes like your antics are truly the most boring thing in the world before answering.

“Whatever gets this over with the fastest, if you don’t mind. I would really love to stop wasting time on a face I can’t even see.”

You nod and try not to swallow thickly. But you don’t think any effort matters. The sound of your thundering heart would probably bury any other sound your body would make anyway.

His skin is incredibly soft, but you bite your tongue to prevent yourself from saying so. You focus on what you’re meant to be doing, focusing on a spot above Astarion’s left brow. Then the right brow. You do your best to remember to breathe through your nose the whole time. No talking. No fast or twitching movements. You pray the smell of death and fire are enough to overpower whatever your breath smells like.

You don’t realize when he closes his eyes. Maybe after the second or third time you gently push his head this way and that. You run the washcloth around his ears, along his jaw. Meticulously avoid the two puncture wounds on his neck.

“As good as it’s gonna get,” you whisper, quickly casting your eyes down before Astarion opens his, and busy yourself with folding and refolding the washcloth. Take a deep breath and look back up while you pass the cloth back over. “Still gonna want to dunk your head, though. Hair’s still…” You gesture vaguely at what should be a shock of pure white.

It’s… well it’s not entirely white anymore.

There’s a moment where you catch an unusual expression on Astarion’s face. It doesn’t last long enough for you to be able to figure it out. And where maybe you would’ve asked, any other time, today doesn’t—the timing doesn’t feel quite right.

“Well then,” you start, grabbing the bucket by the handle and quickly moving to the river to scoop up a decent amount of water. You pretend it’s not heavier than you think it was. You’re trying to figure out what you should say as you leave—if anything at all—but your companion makes the choice for you.

“Thank you,” he says, not quietly, but not with the usual bravado you hear from him. It’s enough to make you pause. “I would hate for my slovenly appearance to ruin vampires’ prim and proper reputation,” he continues, and you can’t help but let your mouth twist into the smallest grin. “Even though red is my colour.”

You snort in amusement, but quickly shake it off. There is something you want to be saying, actually, and you open your mouth before you can lose your nerve.

“When you’re done, can you—do you mind passing by my tent?”

Astarion’s eyes narrow as he wrings out the washcloth. He doesn’t move, despite the fact that you’re pretty sure he wants to slighter back to the water’s edge. You cut him off when he opens his mouth; you’re not sure you’re ready for whatever biting one-liner he’s got ready for you.

“Actually nevermind, I’ll just—I can see you tomorrow morning. It’s not that important.”

You beat as hasty a retreat as the weight of the bucket of water lets you.

You help Gale for supper. Wash, peel and cut various vegetables, fetch more water by the riverside—Astarion has blessedly left by the time you crouch back down by the bank—and take the time to throw the ball for Scratch a few times. By the time the sun begins to sink into the horizon, the smell of deliciously spiced duck, stewed in with a mouth-watering variety of vegetables, wafts over to you and lures you by the fire where your companions have assembled.

Your local vampire is, predictably, absent. You find yourself wondering if the smells that are so tantalizing to you now would be repugnant to you if you had survived on the blood of pests for two hundred years.

Supper is generally a calm affair. You catch up with whomever was absent from the adventuring party for the day, offer Gale some praise for the meal, indulge Wyll with a few dances—kept at a very polite and respectable distance—and eventually settle by the fire.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart seem to have made peace, for now. They watch each other from their respective tents. There’s not as much contempt and disdain as there was a few nights ago when they’d tried to kill each other. You’re relieved they no longer feel the compulsion to ask to the rapidly mounting pile of absolute bullshit you have to deal with. As if mindflayer spawn in your brains and the looming threat of annihilation weren’t enough to sate their need for excitement.

Well after the sun has set, Wyll rests a hand on your shoulder before sitting himself next to you by the fire. You nod in acknowledgement and quietly retreat to your tent. You’ve set yourself up far enough from the campfire if only just for some solitude after a day surrounded by other people and death. Close enough to the water that, when you return to camp at the end of the day, you’ve an easy time just shrugging off your armour and clothes and just walk into the water after sliding into a well-loved, black cotton slip.

You’ve sat yourself behind a makeshift low table—really just a few planks of wood, scavenged from a damaged dock, atop a pair of crates you’d emptied—and open your journal to begin writing. You were never an avid diary-keeper before being abducted by the nautiloid. Never saw the relevance of it. Not that you could remember to keep track of your daily activities, either way.

But now that so many things happen in only the span of a handful of hours, and so much planning to do, and so many people to remember... you find it easy to sit down at the end of the day and write down everything you saw. You write about Halsin’s release from the dungeons in the defiled temple. Write about how conflicting he seems as a man, and as an elf—so incredibly large, and his speech is so incredibly gentle and soft until it suddenly is... not so much.

You take a moment before writing about your encounter with Abdirak. You keep it brief; the only person reading this journal should be you, after all, and you trust yourself to remember how you felt, beneath the mace, and how you feel now, trying to untangle those feelings.

You omit Astarion’s interjection, much as you do spend a minute thinking about it.

You’re flipping to your fourth page of daily notes when you hear a gentle knocking on one of the wooden poles holding up the canvas of your tent. You don’t look up from your writing but call them in, anyway. You gesture vaguely in front of you, motioning in what you think is the general direction of the cushion set in front of your makeshift desk.

“Sit,” you command. “I’ve just got to... finish. This sentence,” you add haltingly. You have to cross and rewrite a word, spend a few more seconds completing your sentence, before finally putting the quill down. When you look up from your notes, you hastily shut your journal, still-wet ink be damned.

There are... probably too many things written down that you wouldn’t want Astarion to see, especially if his current smug expression means anything.

“What, too caught up in waxing poetics about my boundless charms?”

You scoff at the play of arrogance before pulling one of your smaller packs into your lap and stuffing the journal back inside.

“If you must know,” you start, tossing your back near the back of your tent. As far out of reach of a rakish rogue as you could manage in such a small space. “I was writing down my expectations for the day tomorrow. Which includes going back to the grove to collect our reward from Rath.”

Astarion raises his chin and you and narrows his eyes. “Suspiciously selfish of you, bard.”

You shrug your shoulders and lean back on your hands, letting your legs stretch out in front of you. “I’m not as tooth-rottingly sweet as you seem to think I am. My altruism is also self-serving.”

Astarion shifts and pulls a knee up to rest his arm against and leans in. There’s a glint in his eye you recognize. Your heartbeat flutters, for a second; you could say that you don’t like it when he looks at you like a roast to carve, but closer to the truth would be to admit that you’re terrified of it for lack of knowing how to respond.

You clear your throat before adding, “I’ve got too many people relying on my decision making, besides. I can’t afford to extend a hand if I can’t be sure we won’t all get bit. I very much intend on having us all get to Baldur’s Gate in one piece, and live to see our brains roommate-free.”

Astarion scoffs and leans back. You breathe a little easier now that he’s back to being more aloof and judgemental rather than overly-observant.

“I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse,” he replies, feigning interest in the cleanliness of his nail beds. “The fact that you’ve assumed that kind of responsibility for... what, exactly?” He turns his gaze to you, and you can feel more than see the derision in his eyes.

You look down and take a moment to think. The obvious answer, the first one that comes to mind, is that you feel you have the moral obligation to help when you’re able to. It’s how you were raised.

Another answer, just as true as the first, is that you hope that if you treat others with kindness, maybe they’ll allow you mercy when you need it. Self-serving altruism, just as you’d said.

“Safety,” you eventually respond, lifting your eyes to Astarion’s and tilting your head. “Same as you, I figure.”

Astarion bristles at this, but only barely. You can see it in the tension appearing in his shoulder and the way his face seems to become a little more taught, a little more rigorously controlled.

“Safety, you figure?”

You hum in agreement. “I’m the one you chose to bite that night.”

Again, he scoffs. “Because you were the one least likely to stake me, darling. Not because I thought you’d keep me safe.”

“You thought I’d keep your secret safe, though” you say, pulling your legs back towards you and lean in to rest your elbows on your desk. “I was the safest risk because somehow, all of you with the brilliant exception of Wyll, think I’m a bleeding heart with no sense of self-preservation.”

“You quite literally wandered into a room full of smokepowder barrels with a torch in your hand. A lit torch.”

“I didn’t know there would be smokepowder there, come on!” you exclaim in defense. You compose yourself almost immediately; you know Astarion’s just trying to rile you up. Looking at him, he’s not quite smirking, but there’s the pull of an expression there that feels like it could be satisfaction.

You sigh and run a hand down your face. It feels like a cold shock to have him speak so casually with you now when he felt so unapproachable by the river, earlier. Maybe it’s the fact that he chose to come see you, come into your space, makes it feel different. You feel more in control, if only a little.

In here, you still have the pretense of being the leader of your eclectic group. By the river, stripped of armour and excuses, you felt untethered.

“Whatever. Is there a reason for your visit or were you just bored with getting under everyone else’s skin?”

Astarion fakes hurt and offense, a hand to his chest. “You wound me! You’re the one who asked me to come to you, or has the tadpole knocked the memory loose?”

You lean back a little. You had forgotten. In the midst of the food and the dancing and the writing, you had completely forgotten that you’d asked for him to seek you out. You had, however, figured he would actually wait until the morning. Or maybe another week, if you survived that long. Or never at all.

You were never quite sure what Astarion thought of you at any given point in time, nevermind how seriously he would take your words.

“Right. I just fi—it’s. Right.” You trip over your words, before leaning off to one side to grab at a small pouch. You pull at the drawstring as you right yourself, and plunge a hand in to pull out its singular content.

You hold it up in front of your eyes for a second. It had started as a peculiar stone, but with some time and effort and possibly too much polishing, had revealed itself to be a particularly beautiful opal. Clear nearly all the way through save for a single starburst of vivid colour in the center, tendrils of refractive colours reaching out for the edges.

It had reminded you of sunlight, when you had first held it up to a candle after the final polish. And then, unbidden, you thought of Astarion, and his complicated and upturned relationship with the sun.

You slide the pendant, carefully wrapped in looping metal wires, strung on a simple braided leather cord, over the desk to Astarion.

“I found this in the village,” you explain, trying to calm the panicked thrumming of your heart. “It reminded me of you so I... well, it’s yours if you want it.”

This felt like a good idea at first. While grinding down the rough edges and sanding the surfaces smooth, it felt like a kind gesture. Currently, it feels like maybe you might have given Astarion even more to relentlessly tease and bully you with. Like perhaps you’ve found something that would add another weight to you both.

You keep your eyes on the table. See Astarion slowly reach for the pendant to hold it up in front of his own eyes. You swallow thickly and motion to the candle at the edge of your desk.

“If you hold it up to the light, it looks better.”

He wordlessly nods and follows your directions. The stays motionless for several seconds, and you’re having to remind yourself to breathe. His expression doesn’t change at all, and that makes you even more nervous.

This feels like the riverside all over again. You never know how Astarion will accept kindness, you realize.

“...I don’t understand why you would give this to me if it reminds you of me,” he eventually says, though his eyes are still riveted to the flame-like starburst of the stone. “Why would I keep it?”

You flounder for a second and do your best to try and remain composed. I just wanted to isn’t going to be an acceptable answer. When Astarion turns his gaze to you, otherwise unmoving, you hold a hand up.

“Give me a second,” you rush to say, biting the inside of your cheek and looking down at the wood of your desk to think. There has to be a string of words you can put together that will make sense, even to someone like Astarion. Surely.

Some bard you are.

“I suppose,” you start slowly, placing your palms flat on the desk. Astarion brings his arm down. You don’t see what he does with the pendant. “I wanted you to have something that meant someone thought kindly of you.”

You expect to see a sneer on his face, or something akin to disgust, maybe revulsion. But, no, he’s returned to examining you again. You feel the tadpole squirm behind your eye and squint against the discomfort. Is he trying to...?

Well, fair enough.

You hardly have any control over the tadpole—not that you want to control it, you only want it out of your skull—but do your best to try and let him see you finding the stone. Try and open the door just wide enough for that single experience.

Astarion, of course, pushes his luck. Though he’s about as skilled with using the tadpole as any of you likely are at this point, and gets pulled into your mind like a receding wave. Your mind shows you sharp, white teeth and crimson eyes. A shock of silver-white hair under moonlight just as his face comes into view. Teeth at your neck and the feeling of uncertainty of what any of this means for you. The flood of relief when you realized your campmate was just a vampire, and that he was never intending to do anything worse than taking a sip.

Astarion withdraws suddenly and violently from your mind. The absence of him feels like the bleeding gap left by the removal of a particularly large splinter. There’s a headache beginning to drum just behind your eyes that has nothing to do with the illithid parasite. You rub at your eyes with the butt of your palms to try and ease the soreness there. When you pull your hands away, the expression you see on Astarion’s face is indescribable. There’s horror there, but understanding and a non-insignificant amount of apprehension.

“Next time,” you croak, clearing your throat and rolling your shoulders. “I would appreciate if you just asked.”

“I did, and you let me in,” Astarion answers, uncharacteristically soft and quiet. He says nothing else before standing up and turning to leave your tent. You feel aloft in the wind before he turns around to add, “Thank you, for your gift.”

The canvas of your tent moves back into place. Your candle keeps burning. The quiet of the camp is only broken by the habitual night time sounds of nature, the occasional sound of Scratch’s collar, and the crackling of firewood when Wyll throws in another log.

You whistle sharply, two tones, and you hear Scratch eagerly making his way over to your tent. He pushes the canvas out of his way with his snout and quickly comes to sit in front of your desk.

“Is something bothering you, friend?” the dog asks, tilting his head to the side. You smile when one of his ears flop over.

“I’m alright, boy,” you answer with a relieved sigh. “Mind spending the night here with me?”

Scratch stands back up excitedly, tail wagging. “Of course!”

You make short work of moving the planks of wood to the side and stacking the crates out of the way. Unfurl your bedroll and pull some salvaged sheets for some extra padding. When you lay down, Scratch curls up at your side. You put an arm around him and distractedly scratch at his back.

When you trance, you try to keep your mind as clear as possible. You need to be sharp, alert and aware for the day tomorrow. You need to clear the rest of the goblin camp, prepare yourself for the brutality of it. And then report back to the grove and Zevlor once you’re done.

This does not prevent ruby eyes shining like stones from appearing in the shadows every now and then.

You walk to the grove with everyone in tow. You, Astarion, Lae’zel and Wyll are covered in blood and probably viscera. Karlach seems mostly untouched, and though Gale and Shadowheart look exhausted, they seem perfectly fine. Nothing a nice, long rest won’t fix. Probably.

In front of the large wooden gate, you call out to Kaldani.

“Let them know it’s done,” you shout up. “The goblin camp has been cleared!”

There’s shouting as the gates open, and immediately the tieflings begin to swarm you. Zevlor appears out of practically nowhere. Alfira even makes an appearance to interrogate you about the goblin camp, the defiled temple. You end up following her deeper into the Grove to sit and regale her with your... well, you suppose they are heroic endeavours, but you take a moment to sincerely let her know it was horrible. Yes, you whole group is competent, yes, all together you make for a terrifyingly effective strategist. But slaughtering people who don’t know any better because it was kill or be killed isn’t something heroic. It is not magical or fantastic. It is brutal and it is bloody, and when you say that, you wrinkle your nose.

You’re still covered in blood. And gods know what else.

Alfira makes sure to convey her understanding, lets you know that she won’t be composing something wonderful and fantastic. She tells you she wants to make it a cautionary tale; being influenced by powers you cannot see and compelled to perform acts of cruelty yet unmatched. The grit and resolve it takes to prevent such a thing, and the knowledge that sometimes you must choose means for ends you cannot promise. It’s a bit much, but you appreciate it.

You don’t bother letting the rest of your crew, swarmed as they are, know of your departure. You slink off to go collect from Rath, as you had mentioned. Leaving the inner chamber and escaping unnoticed, however, was a significantly greater challenge. As you’re attempting to make a quick escape, you get held up by Zevlor. He offers to pay you for your help—the word makes you grit your teeth—and given that you’re alone and no one else can complain about your decision making, you refuse. Looting the defiled temple had provided you all with more than enough tradeable materials to make for a sizable amount of gold.

And you have a feeling the tieflings are going to be needing whatever they can get their hands on far more than your lot will.

You accept Zevlor’s offer to celebrate your party tonight, if only because you don’t have the heart to turn him down. And maybe also because the idea of drowning your sorrows in several bottles of wine and ale sounds like an amazing idea.

Shadowheart is the only one that spots you trying to make a hasty getaway. She smirks at you before looking away, back to whoever she was conversing with. You let out a sigh of relief and trudge your way back to camp.

By the time you make it by the extinguished fire, you’ve already taken off your breastplate. You feel better already, without the weight of it on your shoulders. Make your way over to your tent and make quick work of the rest. Staring at the pile of metal and leather, you find yourself wishing you knew any transmutation spells. Prestidigitation would be very useful right now.

You disrobe, piling your clothes into a wicker basket, before slipping into your cotton shift. Grab the wicker basket and make your way to Astarion’s tent. You pilfer one of the six bars of soap the man has before making your back back to the waterside. You’d at least like to be clean of blood and dirt and have the possibility of wearing clean clothes if you’re going to be up all night drinking to what you suppose is a job well done.

You let your face screw up in disgust while you scrub at your face with a threadbare washcloth. Evil as goblins may be, you’re still unsure about the near-thoughtless slaughter of the children you found in the dungeons. There’s something off-putting about anything resembling genocide. You let yourself get angry, in between scrubbing your hair with soap and dunking your head in the water to rinse it out. Angry about being in the horrible position of leading a group of people with different ideals, angry about the stupid fucking worm in your head, angry about everyone looking to you for the correct path to take.

“Correct path my left fucking nut,” you spit, flattening your wet hair away from your face. “Like a bard’s supposed to be a moral fucking compass.”

“Well, isn’t that unusual,” you hear from the riverside, and take a moment to close your eyes and brace yourself. You take a deep breath before turning to face Astarion.

“I hardly think bathing is unusual,” you retort back, twisting and wringing the water out of a tunic particularly roughly. “Did you also escape ahead of the tieflings, then?”

Astarion leisurely kicks a log—probably one that was by the fire—before taking a seat a few feet away from the water. He looks... alarmingly clean for someone that emerged from the same hellish depths you have. You don’t listen to his reply, but instead try to remember whose face you remember seeing in the grove. His was not one of them.

A twig hits you in the forehead and stuns you out of your thoughts.

“What in the world was that for—”

“I was asking you a question,” Astarion says, leaning an elbow on a knee and cradling his chin in his hand. “But it seems someone was too preoccupied with my shoulder to properly pay attention to me.”

“I realized you didn’t follow us to the grove,” you trail off, turning back around to continue washing your clothes. You freeze, for a moment, realizing he very well could have seen you sneaking the bar of soap from his belongings. You resume your scrubbing, determined not to bring it up if he doesn’t. Not like Astarion hasn’t pilfered some of your own things before.

“I did,” he replies with all the drama of someone being called a liar. “I simply left once the news had been given that we’d been successful.”

You hum to yourself. “So you left before they even opened the gate to let us in, then.”

You hear a scoff, then, “Are you going to answer my question or not?”

“You’re the one who was saying I wasn’t paying attention,” you say with a bit of a huff, twisting and wringing out your trousers before slinging them over your shoulder. “What was the question?”

There’s a long enough pause when you’re scrubbing and rinsing your undergarments that you wonder if Astarion’s just left. You let the clothes fall back into the wicker basket you’d wedged in some tall grass and turn back around.

He isn’t looking at you. You don’t think you ever quite understood the concept of someone looking through you until this moment. Astarion’s gaze is, technically, you suppose, on you. But he seems far away, like recalling a memory he isn’t quite sure how he feels about.

“Well?” you prompt, grabbing the wicker basket and making your way to ground.

“When we spoke, last night,” he starts, and you find he sounds a little unsure of himself. Hesitant, maybe? “When you... let me in.”

You’re not sure if you shiver because of where the conversation is going or because your dripping, waterlogged shift is making you cold. You don’t say anything and wait for Astarion to continue.

“The first night I—when I bit you, what...” he trails off and looks away. His face contorts into something like disappointment, but you’re not quite sure what with. “What is it you were scared of?”

You busy yourself with finding a nice, wide rock, exposed to the sun, to lay your clothes out to try. Do your best to make sure everything is flat and won’t wrinkle.

“I was scared of the same thing any woman would when she wakes to a man looming over her.” You try to keep your voice level and not let the vitriol—the result of equal parts rage and terror that Astarion couldn’t possibly ever have had any hand in—out of your voice. “It wouldn’t have been the first time,” you add quietly.

You turn around to wring the water from the bottom of your shift. You keep your eyes down as you twist the fabric, but catch Astarion standing in your periphery. When you do look up at him, after he’s taken a few steps toward you, something horrible and expanding twists in your stomach.

He looks ashamed, somewhat, but there’s something else in his eyes that takes you a moment to place. It’s understanding, it’s knowing that he had put you in a position that he, himself, is intimately familiar with. It’s the kind of look you seldom ever see on a man. It rends your heart, a little bit.

“Right,” you say suddenly, moving to shake and wring the water out of your hair. “Glad we’ve got that out of the way, so if it’s all the same t—”

“I’m sorry,” Astarion blurts out. Like the impulse to apologize for his transgression was stronger than the need to preserve whatever image he’d constructed himself. “I wouldn’t have—if I’d known—”

“You could have,” you interrupt him in turn. When you look down at your hands, you can see your veins honeycombing in a familiar pattern. You still the shaking in them by picking up the hem of your slip. “I’m not being fair to you, sorry. I can understand why someone in your position wouldn’t have been asking for everyone’s personal circumstance.”

“How—what do you mean by that?” Astarion asks, frowning like he thinks you know something he doesn’t. You shake your head.

“The expectation would have been for you to share your own history,” you explain, making your way to your tent. You pretend you don’t loathe the feeling of dirt and grass stuck to your feet. “Even if you’d lied, that would’ve all been blown away as soon as we got to Bladur’s Gate, wouldn’t it?”

Astarion looks down and away. You shrug your shoulders as he follows you. Busy yourself rolling and tying up the fabric that served as a door to your personal space. You turn your head just in time to see him open his mouth to speak, but whatever he starts saying is lost under Gale’s booming greeting.

“There you are! We were wondering where our fearless, valiant leader had gone!”

You glance over Astarion’s shoulder, where you can see Gale leading your merry band of misfits, before looking back at the man in front of you. He already looks detached and aloof again.

“Suppose I’ll leave you to your social duties then, darling,” Astarion says as way of a parting greeting, and ambles over to his own tent and disappears inside.

You let Gale fill you in on the plan—wherein the tieflings will pack everything up and, on their way out of the grove tonight, will come celebrate their ‘liberation’ with the camp. You sit on the small stool you have set in front of your tent and only half-listen while coming through and braiding your hair.

You don’t see Astarion again until well after the sun has set.

[theresistanceneverquits]

List of small Garmadon details/moments in canon that I feel define his character, in approximate timeline order:

Garmadon attempted to be the voice of reason and didn’t want to disobey their father (“Never Trust a Human”)

When Wu’s sword was lost over the wall, Garmadon acted as the responsible older sibling to retrieve it (“Rise of the Snakes”)

His father and brother both speak of a “darkness” in Garmadon while he’s a teen, but this refers mostly to mood swings and impulsivity, and Garmadon felt as if there was nothing truly wrong with him (The Curse of the Cat-Eye Jewel)

“I know what it is to feel rejected by my father.” (The Curse of the Cat-Eye Jewel)

He is enthusiastic about traveling the world moreso than finding a “cure” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

Wu is uncertain whether Garmadon really is different, or if it is merely a placebo effect: “We can’t seem to agree on anything lately. Then again, Garmadon and I have never agreed on much!” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

“We make a great team!” “Yeah!” Garmadon agreed, but a flash of doubt clouded his brain. Does he really mean it? Wu hadn’t looked at me the same ever since that dumb snake bit me. And as for being a team…he’s always trying to tell me what to do. How is that teamwork?” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

Garmadon looks into a magic mirror and sees his future form, as well as “two figures in silhouette next to the terrifying figure, with their backs turned to him. One looked like a kid[…] Is my father right? Is there really evil inside me?[…] A feeling of utter loneliness and despair swept over him.” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

Had intrusive thoughts to abandon Wu in the maze, but went back for him after realizing those thoughts would lead to that horrible future (The Maze of the Sphinx)

“Somehow, he felt in his bones that he could not escape his destiny.” He gives up a wish to cure himself by saving their new ally, but keeps up the facade that he thinks he’s fine even though he now has doubts. “Besides, I keep telling you, I don’t need saving.” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

“I did the right thing, he told himself. That’s all that matters.” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

“Maybe I do need that tea. I just hope… I hope that when we find it, it’s not too late.” (The Maze of the Sphinx)

“I know he thanked me, but did he say anything about how good it was of me to save him? I mean, he and Father are convinced I’m turning evil. Would an evil guy bravely save his brother from plummeting into a deep abyss? Why doesn’t anybody give me credit for the non-evil stuff that I do?” (The Chroma’s Clutches)

Wu’s thoughts: “On that day in the monastery, years ago, when I lost my katana, I was too afraid to retrieve it. But Garmadon jumped over the wall to get it for me, and got bitten by the snake that may have infected him with evil, as Father expects. I often wonder what would have happened if I had been the one to get bitten that day…” (The Chroma’s Clutches)

Only Garmadon hears the hopeless voice of the Chroma in his head: “There is no hope[…] All is lost. There is no point in continuing your journey, because nothing will change[…] Nothing will change. You are who you are, Garmadon. Deep in his bones, Garmadon knew the Chroma was right. When he wasn’t pretending everything was fine, he could feel the evil inside him, like a poisonous ball in the pit of his stomach. No tea was going to cure him. He knew it. Wu had hope, but why? What was the point of—” (The Chroma’s Clutches)

Garmadon didn’t want to sign the letter Wu had written for Misako, only doing so when his eyes turned red and the Venom took over (“Spellbound”)

He left his training with Chen to help lead the Elemental Masters against the Serpentine War (“Spellbound”)

Garmadon resisted giving into the Venom for centuries before he caved and attempted to steal the Golden Weapons (“Battle Between Brothers”)

“I never wanted [Lloyd] to [be like me]” (“The Royal Blacksmiths”)

Garmadon, once corrupted, is happy to overtake the world, but all those thoughts leave his mind as soon as Lloyd is at risk (“The Royal Blacksmiths,” “The Green Ninja”)

Lloyd: “I’m gonna do everything in my power to stop you.” Garmadon: “I wouldn’t have it any other way[…] You're a good boy. Soon, you'll be a great man. Although we're now on opposite sides, I'm still very proud of you.” (“All of Nothing”)

“Lloyd doesn't want to fight—uh, I mean, so Lloyd doesn't want to fight? [Laughs]” (“The Last Hope”)

Became a pacifist and a teacher (“The Art of the Silent Fist”)

Takes responsibility for his harmful actions (“The Greatest Fear of All,” “The Corridor of Elders”)

“I yearned to make the world in my image. I never realized I already had, in you.” (“The Corridor of Elders”)

Oni Garmadon does not recognize his predecessor’s human form, and has zero memory of those times, but he remembers being married to Misako (“The Fall”/“Big Trouble, Little Ninjago”)

“People ask me: ‘Do you think Lord Garmadon is disappointed in Lloyd, like would he have wanted to see a chip off the old block?’ Well, I think Lloyd could very well have gone that route. We may never really know the exact nature of the disappointment that shaped Garmadon’s path. But I think that no matter what, even—even—in his most deranged state, Lord Garmadon still has abiding affection for his son. And you know that he would trade it all away if he had to safeguard Lloyd. So I think that there’s always going to be the embers of deep affection for his son, no matter what.” (Mark Oliver, “NINJAGO ZANE INTERVIEWS GARMADON part 2/3”)

Garmadon misremembers the incident of when he was bitten. Out of guilt and the weight of his fate being seemingly meaningless, he wishes that Wu had warned him of crossing the wall and he had simply acted defiantly. Regardless, he feels he was “destined for evil” (Garmadon #4)

The Overlord orchestrated the Great Devourer biting Garmadon so he could be the perfect puppet for the Overlord (“Dragon Form”)

[clerc16]

✯ bad idea right? ; charles leclerc

a/n: slowly getting into my olivia rodrigo phase this isn’t funny. also requests are open!

summary: you see your ex, charles leclerc, at your mutual friend’s party. all good, right? well, until he actually talks you ...

warnings: language, alcohol, partying, slightly nsfw?

── ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

He’s one of the last people to walk in. Late, as usual. You ignore his presence, just like you always do since you both broke up; you want nothing to do with him anymore.

You hear his mumbles of ‘I’m sorry’ and some lousy excuse for being late. You roll your eyes ─ those stupid excuses of his.

You make eye contact with him for less than a second as he walks to get himself a drink, and you feel absolutely revolted. You want nothing to do with him anymore.

You take a sip of your drink as your eyes follow him around the room, as you watch him joke around with his friends, sipping on his own drinks.

You hated him so unbelievably much.

“Are you okay?” Your friend asks, snapping you out of your trance.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m alright,” you reply casually, taking another sip of your drink. Your friend nods and smiles, looking around the room, her eyes landing on Charles. She hums and looks at you.

You desperately hope she doesn’t ask you about Charles.

“So... how is it with Charles?” She asks.

Goddammit.

“Um, we don’t talk. I don’t care.” You mutter, glancing at him. Fuck, you made eye contact.

“I mean, he’s been... eyeing you for a while, ever since he came in ─” she begins, stopping to take a sip of her drink.

“─ so I think he wants to talk to you,” she continues. You shrug, not knowing what exactly to say.

“All I’m saying is, give it a go. I mean, what do you have to lose?” She adds. You scoff and shake your head.

“This man...” You begin, sighing.

“This man, this hell of a man, fucked me over then left. I have so much to lose if I talk to him again.”

She sighs and allows her eyes to take another scan of the room, lingering on someone, presumably her boyfriend.

“Well... it’s all up to you. If you do decide to talk to him, though... tell me everything.” She winks as she leaves towards the direction of her boyfriend, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

You swallow the remains of your drink as you take your phone out, scrolling mindlessly through your timeline. You’re focused on your phone so much you don’t notice that someone has came and stood beside you.

He clears his throat as you snap your head up and look at him. Charles.

“Hey, Y/N,” he smiles nonchalantly.

Fuck that smile of his.

“What?” You reply casually, taking another sip of your drink. He shrugs at your response.

“Nothing, just checking on you. How have you been?” He asks. He’s not making this easy for you whatsoever.

“Charles, come on...” You sigh as you roll your eyes.

“What?” It’s his turn to question now.

“You know what. What is the point of this?”

He shrugs again, looking straight at you. Strangely, his eyes on you make you turn red, your face feeling hot.

“Look, I know that you’re my ex, but can’t we reconnect?”

You shake your head, an expression of disbelief etched on your face.

“No, Charles. No, absolutely not,”

He sighs and rubs his forehead, closing his eyes temporarily.

“Look, I know I was horrible to you, and you deserve so much better, but─”

“That is such a bad idea,” you exclaim.

“Just─”

“Charles, you─”

“Y/N─”

“You can’t possibly be─”

“Can you at least─”

“Charles, you─”

He cuts you off again, but this time, his lips are on yours. It’s a surprise for you at first, but you slowly melt into his touch, kissing him back fiercely.

His hands travel to your waist and yours go to his neck, resting on the back of it. It’s quick and passionate; your mind keeps telling you to pull away but you physically cannot.

Eventually, you both pull away, gasping for breath. His lips are red and your face is flushed.

“Fuck you, Charles Leclerc.” You mumble. He laughs and walks into another room, as you follow him mindlessly. Once you enter and close the door, he pushes you gently against the wall and kisses your neck slowly.

“I hate you so much,” you whisper, out of breath. He only smirks and shakes his head.

“No, you don’t. You definitely don’t.” He mutters into your skin. Fucking hell.

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” He teases you, repeating your words from before.

“Shut up, Leclerc.” You sigh.

The next day, you wake up in his bed, only covered by the sheets.

You hate him so unbelievably much. But... maybe reconnecting wasn’t a bad idea.

i am going insane. absolutely insane HOPE YOU ENJOYED! all lyric credits are in bold and are all owned by olivia rodrigo.

[blood-grove]

Werewolf Bites

pervious <- itching barbs -> next stage of infection

tws; sickness , injuries , vomiting , violence, no use of y/n

parings: gaz x male reader (established relationship)

-> c/n - call sign

-> n/n - nickname

"And so you've having these dreams ever since ya' got bit?"

"I mean uh..yeah?"

"Have you considered your maybe a furry?."

You smacked Soap on top of his head as he laughed.

"Soap I'm serious!"

"I know I know!-" Soap snickered as he tried to keep down his fit of giggles.

"So..do you think they mean anything?"

"..Honest no clue."

You huffed as he gently patted your shoulder.

Said shoulder still had the odd discoloration that worried you slightly you didn't want to be benched for longer you waited to get back out there you were getting more antsy than usual.

You couldn't stay still much, Spending your time on training once more when you were given the clear you wouldn't tear anything open.

You had missed training with Ghost but today you were horribly off and he made sure you knew it too as he way to easily knocked you down.

"You distracted Sergeant."

"M'not-"

"Usually its only when Kyles in the room your like this even then you can do better than this."

"..I know."

You got up back up with a huff shaking off a bit.

We were focused.

And then you fell again this time pinned under Ghost.

"What is wrong with you today?"

You huffed as you just growled glancing aside causing Ghost to roll his eyes getting off you.

Wait did you just growl at him?

"If you expect to be back in the action you need to focus."

He paused before grabbing your arm and tugging you up once he got off you.

"What's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong with us..me- I-"

"..Jesus mate If something is wrong with you and Gaz you-"

"It's not that!." You quickly corrected before apologizing for raising your voice the training room was empty it was later on in the day.

You just slightly flinched when he let go of your arm avoiding eye contact.

What was wrong with us?

Me.

"I-It's not that..I..I've just been having dreams and things have been happening since I got into that incident everything has felt off and loud.." You trailed off fiddling with your fingers your gaze falling down the training mat.

You felt a tug as you were pulled to the side and onto the bench Ghost staring down at you the longer he was quiet the longer you felt you'd overstepped.

"Have you gone to the therapist about it?" He finally spoke up which eased your nerves.

"Well..no."

"Go, If it's bothering you this bad, Go." He picked up his towel and water.

"But—"

"Just go I'm not having Price sign your clear unless you back to your usual self." Ghost huffed as he stared you down until you nodded giving in.

"We can pick up later."

And then he left.

Leaving us with our god-awful thoughts.

You were getting agitated.

This isn't what we need.

We need Kyle, our bed, our den.

But then yet you just listened to the therapist talk honestly it was good advise and offering of resources.

But it isn't what we need.

You sat for the whole session till the end it was short but you guessed needed, You wanted to find Kyle but he was in the mess hall too loud too many scents.

Too many scents.

You had recently started to get more agitated towards these things as time passed, It was honestly scaring you.

And oh god the itching.

You've had to start wearing longer sleeves because you unknowingly scratched bad enough to tear your skin.

At least you were doing better with training nothing serious still but at least you were getting back into your old ways.

You just hoped whatever this was would go away.

a/n: this one is erm VERY short bc im getting drained of ideas 😭ill still be trying im just almso doing other thigns in life trying to get over art block etc

[enderwoah]

im so unwell about q!pac no its not even funny anymore i need to put him in a terrarium up on a shelf and keep him safe up there. he doesn't deserve any bad thing, ever. i don't even care about "having a good story" or "giving your character a conflict" anymore, nah, no, if ONE (1) MORE BAD THING HAPPENS TO HIM IM GONNA LOSE IT!! IM GONNA START BREAKING THINGS!!!

he's so. sad. hes such a sad character. his insecurities about being useless to everyone are so real and so painful because he's not, all of us know that he's not, but we also completely understand why he feels that way because he's had everyone he loves ripped away from him and he hasn't been able to lift a finger to stop any of it. he's just left to sit in the ruins without any help. he's collateral to all the tragedy surrounding him and the favela 5 in general and he's. tired. not in the way that cellbit is tired (though that works, too). he's exhausted of feeling sad all the time. of crying all the time. of feeling that loneliness that gnaws holes into his bones and settles in the marrow and never leaves, not when richas' bed is empty, not when mike's bedroom has started to collect dust, not when he can't see a real, tangible presence in forever's dilated eyes. the only person he has is cellbit, and he could never ask cellbit to give up what he still has when pac has nothing to lose (and god, how selfless, how kind is that?), so when he figures the only way to get an antidote to the drug is to have the drug itself, why wouldn't he offer himself up? and if that wasn't the only reason he tried to get his hands on it, who could blame him?

maybe he took it first to just feel the effects and understand the angle it took in affecting his mind. maybe he just took it for research. do you think he had slipped by the second time? do you think he took it once and, for a short thirty minutes, found that he could forget about all the sorrow lining his lungs and breathe? do you think reality crashed back onto him after that first try? do you think he was scrambling to take it again, to go back to that...maybe it wasn't blissful ignorance, per se, but willful disregard? do you think he couldn't wait to be submerged so deep that he couldn't think one more time? do you think he was hesitant? do you think he kept promising himself, one more, one more, one more...

god he is so. so sad. i was watching phil's pov, so everything was like a neat little movie for me, and just. cellbit and forever arguing while pac was just sobbing in the background was AWFUL. just. awful. it hurt. (cc!pac was damn good at acting, too, and that DID NOT HELP.) the moment he stepped on the trap i felt like i was hit with a brick. like no, of COURSE we should NOT be putting PAC in a CONFINED JAIL CELL. ALONE. and i know it was for his own good but i still felt so so so sick. the way he immediately curled up in the corner. the way he was crying to himself. the way he instantly answered richas' birthday the moment bad asked for it. the way he got visibly more upset and terrified when cellbit started shouting at forever. what the hell. no seriously what the HELL.

and, like, oh my god, making him the one to solve the antidote? proving that even though he may have fallen to the drug (the drug which was basically created by GODS, by the way, lets be real, the federation is nawt normal), he's still so useful. he's still such an asset. he's smart and he's kind and he's charismatic and he's trusting and he's so so selfless and so so brave and so strong. tubbo put it perfectly. the fact that he's gone through all the horrible awful stuff he's gone through and he's still standing just proves how capable he is. how tough he is. cellbit calling him "my dear." pointing out the fact that he sacrificed himself without knowing he was going to come back. "i'm only afraid of being sad again." "you will be sad again. but you won't be alone." he's so. he's just. he's. im frothing at the mouth. he gave himself up to save the rest of the island from this plague that took one of his best friends and might've taken the entire island if he didn't do anything. under that stress. experiencing that level of loss.

pac is one of the toughest goddamn people on the island and if anyone on that server even dares try to imply otherwise i will do heinous heinous things, mark my WORDS.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Further proof of Our King's anxiety and trauma: His body language. He has a habit of putting his hands behind his back. It's a self-soothing and self-preservation gesture. But then when he's more relaxed, he doesn't do that.

Case in point: Look when he meets Asha. At first you don't see his hands. They're behind his back. When he does bring a hand out briefly, it goes behind his back again. But when he warms up to her, his hands come out.

The same goes with when he's addressing his people about the magic. His hands are behind his back, and they stay there unless he brings one hand out to do something and then he puts it right back. He's uncomfortable, he's guarded and it shows.

Which is why his people should have known that something was VERY wrong when he came out on stage possessed. His body language was VERY different. He was stumbling around drunk, but his hands were both visible. His body language had drastically changed because he was essentially inebriated on dark magic. That should have been a BIG clue in that something was WRONG, not that the king was suddenly evil.

YES! THIS! 🤌🏼

I've been stressing from the beginning about this! While hands loosly clasped in the back can be a sign of confidence and relaxtion, Magnifico's way of hiding his arms is different most of the time.

Now, I have always been good at reading people but then I studied psychology for a while and trauma conditions, the mental impact it has and how it shows.

Magnifico oozed trauma the very first minute I saw him. And when he mentioned what happened, plus the burned wall-rug, I knew it was deep! All his behavior clicked for me.

That is also a big part why haters villanizing him gets me fuming mad. If I was to follow their logic, then Elsa is a villain for running away and leaving her kingdom to freeze die, or Maui, who stole Tefiti's heart and caused destruction, or abuela Alma, for treating Mirabel like trash, or Imelda for forbitting music in her family, Abuela Elena for smashing Miguels guitar!

The hypocrisy is off the charts!

And the worst thing is exactly what you mentioned last. The people of Rosas not being able to see that something was horribly wrong with their king. He was so clearly not himself and no one gave a toot. It's easy to explain though. The didn't know their own king and nor did they care. All they cared about was their wishes. Their needs. Their desires. Magnifico was just their source for favors and when that well ran dry, they dropped him like a stone. Talking about selfishness!

Magnifico was never evil. Did he make some wrong choices because of his trauma? Yes. But nothing he ever did made him a villain. The only villain there was, was the book! The book, or rather, the evil force/entitiy in in! And yes, we saw that demon-thing drawn on the page. Not to forget the green clawed hands! No, magic itself isn't a conscious living, thinking being, it's a supernatural ability used by a fessel. And as a christian I can tell you the only thing behind "dark magic" are demons.

You will see this whole topic deeper explained in the upcoming cooperation post "the Magnifico case". But here is a little thing from it.

This isn't Magnifico

This is!

This isn't him

This is!

The fact that people cannot differentiate between this and understand what a possession is ...

Anyway. Anothing very interesting thing I wanna draw attention to is what comes out of Magnifico's mouth once he is full on possessed. He says things that are 100% contradictory to everything he stood for and fought for.

See the reflection thing in the fountain? It's where the quote "I win!" Falls! Why is this so deeply unsettling? Because there is nothing he won! All Magnifico ever truly wanted was happiness and savety for others around him. Magnifico's trauma had caused him to be immensly fearful and paranoid when it came to the savety of others because what happened to him left scars in his soul as deep as a canyon and he wanted no one else to ever have to suffer like he did. He didn't want power, he didn't want fame! He only wanted what's best for others and in return get some love and respect for what he did. Which, yes, he deserved anyway!

Back to my two cents of my christian opinion. It's pretty clear that the evil side does nothing but steal, kill and destroy. It's all it ever wants. To hurt and wreck. That thing that has been trapped in that book must have waited eagerly for who knows how long to get a victim it can use to destroy and use to destroy. So when that thing had taken control over Magnifico's clear consciousness, it obviously said "I won!"

Even sadder is that we could see the exact moment, the entity leaves Magnifico and he is left with confusion and panic because all he sees are the wishes floating away into the nightsky.

Also, where did the green enter and leave? Into and from his heart!

This is the same fear only increased!

And NO! God NO! It is not "Ah, no, I don't wanna lose my power and control over the people because I'm a malicious beast and I wallow in their suffering and enjoy them not being able to make one of their wishes come true!"

No. Just. No. This is ignorant, this is stupid nonsense. This is seeing evil where there is none. This is villanizing trauma!

And then some people go "Oh God, what a monster! What a evil man! Poor kid! It deserves to swim! How dare he not let the kid swim!"

Compare this to a father, who previously had lost a brother or even his first child to a drowning accident. Now the next child is old enough to swim and is running towards the water. Everyone knows the kid will jump in, swim and have fun, but all the father can think of is the potential danger of his child drowning as well. Maybe it will get a cramp, or a shark will bite it, or it gets stung by a jellyfish, steps on a venomous sea urchin, gets a heart attack, gets pulled away by a current ...

You see where I'm going?

And then the father runs, sweaps the child in his arms and forbids it to go near the water and swim because it is too dangerous. He tells his child.

"You stay here with me, as long as I deem it saver! I'm your father, it is my responsibility to keep you as safe as I can! I only want the best for you!"

And of course the child is pouty.

"

"Well, if there is a shark, it can be stopped. I might just bite one leg off of the child ...oh well...The father clearly doesn't know what he's doing! And I must know, I don't even have children!"

"Everyone call the police! Let's put this father behind bars! He's so cruel and abusive to his poor child!"

"And good heavens! He snapped at the child for saying it is old enough to decide if it wants to swim or not! And he replied that he decides if the child swims or not! What a narcissistic psychopath! He needs to be stopped!"

Anyway, I'm very excited to soon share that big boy of a post with you, where I dive into each and every aspect as deep as ever with the help of Magnificolover from instagram. 🎶

How does that sound? And now imagine one of these judgemental, entiteled, selfrighteous, ignorant people calling the police. And the police arrests the man and no one at the beach does anything. No one thinks "wait a minute! This is wrong!"

I can already smell the haters cooking new arguments 😂 feeling snubbed at their toes cause we defenders are right! And you know what? We will only get louder! We are already the vast majority! Including children!

They're mad at us and our defense? Good! Maybe then it is time to ask themselves why it is that the majority is on Magnifico's side! Or why children starting by the age 5 (my cousins son for example) can clearly conclude that the only reason Mags went nuts is because of the evil book. Better yet, they see that Asha and the people of Rosas are in the wrong how they treat their king. And children are brutally honest.

Stay loud my fellow defenders! 🔥

[gremlinmodetweeker]

The Axe - Chapter 3 (Part 3)

It's the final piece! Enjoy some fantasy medieval ages/early common era au with local executioner!König. Since this is chapter 3, there's no real point to adding my KoFi but I'll do it anyways because why not.

KoFi Here

Tw: Discussion of torture, discussion of virginity and related topics

Wordcount: 1.9k

Art from This Post

Story Below the Cut

Behind The Dew You Sing To Me

You hurried home as quickly as you could, racing against Brak-Hah’s descending eye and the rise of Luit and Lui as they tumbled through the sky. You managed to scurry inside just before Densis’s watch settled in and hurried to the kitchen to find your auntie measuring out cups of buck flour into bags.

“There you are!” she cried as you walked through the door, “I was worried you’d be late!”

“Worried?” you asked with a smirk.

Your auntie rolled her eyes, “Always with the mouthing off, aren’t you? I really should take a sandal to you one of these days…”

“Auntie, I’m a bit old for that,” you laughed as you rolled up your sleeves.

Your auntie huffed and shook her head, but at the very least she didn’t say anything until you sat down in a stool beside her and set to work.

“So,” she said warily, “how was it?”

You grimaced, “Horrible, Auntie.”

Your auntie raised a thin brow, “Horrible you say?”

“Just horrible,” you said again, “the man spat in Father Kim’s face when he was given his final redemptions. They choked him to death in the end.”

Your auntie shivered, “Oh that’s just disgusting. I mean really, a choking? Those are just the worst ones. Nobody likes those.”

“It’s better than some other deaths,” you offered.

“Just because it’s better than a grinding doesn’t mean it’s a good death,” your auntie grumbled.

You shuddered at the thought.

“No, not at all,” you admitted, “but it was awful. I could hardly stand the smell of it once it was done.”

Your auntie shook her head, “I’m surprised you stayed around long enough.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “I was handing off the rations to The Axe.”

Your auntie snapped her eyes wide in alarm, “Your uncle left you alone with him!?”

“Um… Well…” you shrank down into yourself, “I sorta just stayed behind?”

“What in the realms was he doing!?” your auntie hissed, “I told him to keep you both-You know what, nevermind. I should’ve never let you go in the first place.”

“But Auntie, he’s not as bad as you think,” you tried to say, “he’s not a monster.”

“Any man capable of putting someone through a grinding is a monster, if you ask me,” your auntie sniffed.

You clenched your teeth together.

“I’m telling you Auntie, he’s not that bad,” you tried again, “you just have to give him a chance.”

“Why should I?’ your auntie scoffed, “it’s not like I’ll ever meet him.”

Your eyebrows knit together, “Well, I like him well-”

“Oh so you admit it!” your auntie snapped, “you do like him! Now I know for sure I know what’s going on here!”

You huffed, “And what’s going on?”

“You’re going to try and marry that bastard!” your auntie growled, “that lowlife nothing! You’re going to take everything we’ve given you and you’re going to toss it away to run off with that sick, disgusting, evil-”

“I keep telling you he’s not-”

“Oh there you go again, defending his ‘honor’! What honor does a man like that have?” your auntie whirled on you, “he was born of a cursed line, he’ll die a cursed line. Any son from his loins will have a black cross painted on their head from the moment they leave your womb!”

You paused momentarily. You drummed your fingers on your knee before carefully turning to your auntie.

“So you’re saying I’ll have his child?”

“That’s what you’re focussing on!?”

You shrugged. Your auntie sighed and set the measuring cup down to rub at her dark temples.

“I swear, you’re just like your uncle,” she grumbled, “there’s something in you both that makes you want what you can’t have.”

“Well, Uncle chose to love you, right?” you offered, “I’m sure if he didn’t love what he couldn’t have, he wouldn’t have gone after you.”

Your auntie sighed, “I was a merchant’s daughter, at least. A merchant. Not an executioner.”

“But you see my point?” you asked.

“I see your point and I think it’s ridiculous,” your auntie huffed before she scooped up another cup of flour and begrudgingly added, “but I see your point.”

You smiled hopefully, “Look, I know he’s not your ideal choice-”

“Oh that couldn’t be more of an understatement.”

“He’s not your choice, but he’s my choice,” you finished.

“I think you have terrible taste,” your auntie grumbled, “of all the cursed lovers you could have, you chose an executioner. You could be with a plumber, a street sweeper, even a mercenary might’ve been better!”

You gave your auntie a knowing look.

“Okay, well, maybe not the last one. But Jakob down the road is a perfectly good plumber’s apprentice!” your auntie spluttered.

“Jakob Braun? The boy who used to pull my hair and throw beetle muck at me?” you pulled a face.

“If he just ate a bit better he’d look good enough,” your auntie offered.

“Last I heard he visits the whorehouse every other watch,” you raised an eyebrow.

“Everyone has their vices.”

“He smells of the very shit he cleans,” you tried again.

“Wear perfume,” your auntie shrugged, “it might help cover it up.”

“My children would still be considered undesirables,” you scowled.

“But they wouldn’t have a murderer for a father!” your auntie proclaimed, “oh how would you go about the village if you married that brute? You have such good friends around. How would you handle losing all of them?”

“I think my friends could tolerate my choices,” you huffed.

Your auntie rolled her eyes, “Tomorrow I’m going to start looking for a marriage for you. This is getting out of hand.”

You stilled your movements.

“You… You’re not serious, are you?” your voice shook slightly.

Your auntie scowled at you. Her dark eyes hardened briefly, but soon she sank back with a weary sigh.

“No,” she admitted, “I just don’t want you getting hurt. And if you go off with this man… I can’t help you if you get hurt. You know I can’t.”

“I won’t get hurt Auntie,” you assured her, “I promise.”

“Maybe not by him, but what about everyone else?” she tried to reason with you, “I can’t stop the rumours. You know I can’t.”

“Everyone always has rumours about them,” you answered trepidatiously, “I’m sure I’ll be alright in the end.”

“But will you?” your auntie frowned as she went back to her work, “I don’t know, I can’t be sure. If I can’t be sure you’ll be safe, how can you expect me to support you? You can’t! I just… I can’t.”

You let out a sigh and sank your elbows onto your knees, “You can’t, and neither can I. But I can at least try.”

“You know there’s no going back if anyone catches wind of you two together,” your auntie warned you, “nobody will want to be with you if they know he’s touched you.”

You pursed your lips into a line, “I know.”

“You’ve never had a man before,” your auntie clucked her tongue, “he’d be the first one, and he’d ruin you for anyone else.”

“But I don’t want anyone else,” you said.

“But what if he doesn’t want you?” your auntie pointed out, “he might like you now, but you know how boys are. They’re wild things that want new toys until they’ve used them up, and then they throw them away. They’re horrible beasts, boys are.”

“But what about you and Uncle Mattias?” you asked.

“Your uncle and I found each other after being with others first,” your auntie explained, “we weren’t firsts to each other. We found each other through trial and error. Your uncle was a wild man in his youth, and I was worse than him. We went through a few before we found the person that worked best for us.”

“So you’re not just opposed to him because you think he’s evil?” you asked.

Your auntie rubbed her temples again, “No, you silly girl. It’s because I’m worried for your future!”

“But what if he’s what’s right for me?” you asked.

“Then you’d be winning the lottery,” your auntie snorted, “if you want to play that sort of game, I can’t stop you. Just know that once he’s been with you, nobody else will want you.”

“Because he’s taken my virginity?” you asked.

“No, stupid girl! Because he’s an executioner, and nobody wants a woman who’s laid with an executioner!” your auntie snapped.

You winced at her words, but helped fill the flour sack regardless.

Your auntie worked hard beside you, slowly filling one bag before moving the next and filling it just the same. She took care to line each filled bag along the wall so she could sew them shut later to sell them. She was always a wonderful seamstress, something you could never be. She said you didn’t have the practise, but something told you she was just being nice about it. It’s not like you were incapable of the work, it just wasn’t what you were best at.

You kept shoveling the flour in the bags beside you. It’s a shame you missed the miller; he’s always been the friendliest face to grace your shop. He was a jolly snow tredder that stopped by every now and then to deliver the flour he’d ground that day. You didn’t know how he did it, but his flour was always the best quality in the whole village. None of the other farmers had anything like what he had. At the very least, Dimitri Muller was the best wheat and grain farmer the region had ever seen. At most, possibly the best farmer in the entire kingdom.

You smiled at the thought of Dimitri and his silly northern jokes. You wondered how he got along with Nikto. The two came from a similar region, that you knew for sure.

As you worked on measuring out the flour, you heard your auntie sigh beside you.

“I'm sorry for being so harsh,” she whispered, “I’m just afraid for you.”

“It’s alright,” you tried to say without your voice shaking too much.

“I…” your auntie groaned, “I don’t even know his name! Haven’t you thought of that? Do you even know his name?”

You paused. You’d been calling him ‘The Axe’ the entire time you’d known him. You’d given him your name, but you’d never actually hear his own. The thought had your heart turn cold as stone.

“I actually don’t,” you admitted.

“Well, before you go gallivanting off with this boy, do get to know his name,” your auntie huffed as she poured the final cup of flour into the bag. She dusted her knees off and got to her feet. She looked at all the bags and gave it an affirming nod before she turned to you, “You’ll help me with the sewing, won’t you?”

You smiled, “Of course I will.”

“Good,” your auntie sniffed, “otherwise I wouldn’t be done until Brak-Hah’s watch next watch.”

“No, I won’t abandon you here,” you assured her, “just pass me a needle and I’ll start.”

Your auntie smiled and patted your head with a warm, leathery hand. Her smile faded as a wash of grief flooded her features.

“What’s wrong auntie?” you asked.

“You’re growing up so fast,” she mourned, “and now you’re off doing all this. I’m scared, my dear. I’m so scared. I’m worried about this man, and I don’t know what I can do to help you.”

You stood up and gripped your auntie in a crushing hug.

“I won’t get hurt,” you promised her, “I’ll be okay. I’ll come and visit too, alright?”

Your auntie sniffled into your hair, “You’d best keep that promise. I won’t ever forgive you if you don’t.”

“I will,” you said as you rocked each other warmly, “I promise I will.”

23. Grinding: A form of execution where a criminal is strapped to a round stone. Their body is slowly eviscerated starting from the feet up. The body can either be crushed to a pulp or the flesh torn off of it with pliers, or is in another way ‘eviscerated’ until there is nothing left. Considered a worse death than the other punishment in its bracket which is breaking. Like in grinding, the body is strapped to a round stone, but in breaking each and every bone in the body is methodically broken before the body is hung up on display. Contrary to grinding, in breaking you can either be broken from the feet up or the head down, depending on how merciful the judgement is. Because you can be broken from the head down, many say it’s a more merciful punishment. Victims in both breakings and grindings normally pass out from pain soon after the execution has begun.

24. Snow Tredder: A species of sentient mushroom that typically live in the far north, near the poles. They are known for their intense bonds between their communities and their hardiness. Many are very large, both in height and in weight. Ones that move away typically only do so in cases of colony collapses or if the colony is in dire need of financial support.

Part One

Part Two

KoFi

Konig Dump

Alternate Universes

[coeurcanelle]

☆Baby, the stars shine bright☆pt1

pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4,pt5

inspired by the 'kamikaze girls',♡ always had unconditional love for lolita fashion and nothing else but when she met ellie,an auburn haired girl whos part of a gang with a dad's fashion sense ,her love for clothes begins to compete with her growing feelings for ellie

strangers to friends to lovers,love-hate friendship,ellie is into reader♡ but reader♡ shows no interest (in the beginning),opposite aesthetics,early 2000s

fluff,wlw

Frilly pink dresses,strawberry cakes,sunny days,classical music and tea times made you the happiest being alive but again,your happiness only relied on external things because deep inside you felt rotten. But at least it was better than feeling totally empty right?

Everytime you felt horrible about yourself you'd think of your parents. 

Your dad was rejected by his gang because he could never hold a gun properly (he would cry in vain after shooting someone) and your mother heartlessly cheated on your dad with her gynecologist right after you were born.

Your mom had crossed boundaries and you assumed it was hereditary when you started to gaslight your dad for money so you could build your dream closet.

"My best friend is in the terminal stage of this very rare, deadly disease."

You looked away, pretending to drop tears, not just because of the act but also because guilt was slowly enveloping you. You continued with your fake emotional tone, "She's so young, but she looks so tired and sick. Fortunately, the doctors found a cure."

This statement made your father stop crying and cover his mouth in surprise. He believed every single word coming out of your mouth.

"And they have to perform a surgery that will cost-" It was like a reflex; your dad burst into tears again before handing you 2000 bucks. It wasn't to save your imaginary friend from the disease but to fuel your will to live. You covered your smile with your hand before taking the money and thanking your dad, already imagining the kind of dress you would buy.

The next day, you woke up before your alarm went off, not wasting a second to go to your favorite place.

You walked all the way from home, which was in the middle of nowhere in the countryside, to the train station.

You wished you lived in Tokyo because then you wouldn't have to add the cost of the train ticket to your expenses, allowing you to spend all your money on dresses. But going there once every month prevented you from emptying your wallet every day, so it wasn't all bad.

Relief hit you when you arrived at the train station early. You took a seat, but then you heard people screaming and arguing from afar.

It was your dad doing his 'new' job after leaving his gang. You thought you were good at gaslighting him, but he was certainly better. He was selling fake luxury brand clothes to a group of oblivious people, arguing with him to get a 90% discount. No matter how stubborn you are, you don't think you could ever fool an entire group of people. It made you wonder how your dad believed all of your made-up stories in the first place.

Little did you know, the dress you bought that day would be the last one you bought with your father's money. Karma got both you and your father, almost bankrupting him. The old gang your father was in denounced his actions, leaving him with no job and no money to fund your wardrobe.

When you looked at the fake luxury clothes in your hands, you wondered how people even fell for this. It was just basic white t-shirts with a brand name; not even your alter ego could like this.

But to your biggest surprise, the scam your father had pulled off hadn't reached everyone's ears. Luckily, you soon received a letter that looked like it was written by an 8-year-old:

"Hi, I saw your big tracksuits when I was walking by the city, but there were too many people buying everything. I was wondering if you still have some left for me. Wait for me at your house at 8 am."

And so you did. You stood at your front door, waiting for the child to arrive. You convinced your father to keep his fake clothes for whatever reason, so you could continue what he was doing in secret.

All you had to do was sell fake luxury clothes to afford your dream ones. With no gang to ever snitch on you, you could set your own prices and stop depending on your dad's money.

You spotted a motocycle and squinted your eyes when the person riding drove towards your home

Was it one of the childs parents ?

The person drove closer blowing some dust before parking their motocycle next to your home, they didnt even wear a helmet for security

You realised she was a girl when the dust disappeared but she didnt look like a mother at all

You didnt realise you were staring that long until the auburn girl came up to you and told you to stop

"hey, I told you im looking for the seller where is he ?" her deep commanding voice made you remind the letter, it wasnt an actual child's writing,she was just writing like a child !

"he's not here, but I'm taking his role,"you said the auburn girl looked you up and down inspecting your elegant lolita dress.She was blocking the sun, so you couldn't clearly see her facial features.

"are you messing with me?" You could see her features better when her face got closer to yours, attempting to intimidate you. She didn't believe you, even though she had no idea those clothes were fake. She turned her face away to spit on the ground, and you noticed golden writing on her large jacket's sleeve.

This girl was definitely part of a gang, you thought.

"stop spitting," you retorted in disagreement with her behavior. It was obvious she was doing all this to let people know she's not playing around, but still...

She raised an eyebrow at you, a bit surprised. But before she could do or say anything, you carelessly opened the front door of your home, which was about to turn into a place of business.