#learning life lessons

[fuegios-diary]

Falling in Love

Around 2020, I fell in love with the thought of being a detective or an investigator.

It all started when I randomly wanted to watch the Sherlock series on Netflix.

It was amazing. The Science of Deduction! The way how one can observe, analyze, and conclude!

"Goodness," I thought. "I want to be like Sherlock Holmes"

After a while, many months later or so (or I think even more than a year!) I saw an anime called "Moriarty the Patriot" showing on Netflix.

Moriarty The Patriot

So, I decided to watch it.

Not only was I amazed by William's genius, but the more I fell in love with the science of deduction. I also want to share that my eyes were further opened in the political and societal aspects of the unjust and unfair existing hierarchy between the nobles and the commoners.

Anyway, somewhere along the line, I felt like i couldn't make myself consume any more media related to this theme. The reason was that I felt like I couldn't achieve what William or Sherlock had.

Beliefs and Foundations

I have a negative perfectionist belief in me. "If I'm not as amazing as them at the get-go, then it's impossible to reach that goal."

Gosh, it took a while for me to verbalize that belief or foundation of mine.

But, when I verbalized it and acknowledged it, that was the moment I could challenge it.

I realized deep in me, I couldn't just let that love of mine go just for some limiting belief!

BS Forensic Science or Criminology

But, another obstacle appeared. When I finally decided to pursue this love of mine as a profession, my brother told me the reality of existing politics in the workplace, especially in the government.

Here's a little background:

I wanted to take up forensic science or Criminology and have work experience, which I could mainly get in the government workplace. The reason for wanting to get experience from the government workplace was because I wanted to put up my own detective agency. But in order to do that, I needed some credentials and credibility. Therefore, working in the government had to be an option.

But, when my brother explained to me in detail the politics in the workplace of such a profession in the government, I felt like I didn't have the foundations to be in such a place. It would have been too difficult for me. The place is toxic, that's the gist of my brother's stories and explanations. He also mentioned how the workplace affected my dad. My dad, by the way, was a police man with the position of a General and he was exposed to such a toxic environment which was difficult for him.

So, anyway, I gave up pursuing that dream altogether.

Until the present.

Sherlock Holmes Book Collection

A few months ago, I was able to buy the Sherlock Holmes book collection at the Big Bad Wolf Book Event.

But it wasn't until now, December 2024 that I decided to read it.

It's been on display on one of my tables here in my room. And everytime I glance at it, I feel like I wanted to read it.

Reason for not reading it until now, I didn't feel interested enough anymore.

But anyway, I decided to read it for fun. Meh, why not right?

The Sparking of Love Once Again

I read the first chapter.

I had a few giggles here and there.

But I felt it again. Deep down, this theme amazed me.

I felt it in my chest. It was the same excitement I had the first time I watched the Sherlock series, and the Moriarty the Patriot anime series.

I wanted to pursue it somehow.

But I knew that working in the government was out of the picture.

Also, I actually want to tell you that I was pursuing Animezin PH (one of my projects where I blog and make videos about anime meets mental health themes). This was my main project, and I wanted to focus on it and make it my main source of income.

Doing all of them

I was thinking deeply a night ago, December 8, 2024.

I was thinking "Why should we only commit to one passion? Can't we commit to all of our passions? Can't we deepen our love and knowledge on all of them?"

It's true, we dont have all the time, money, and effort in the world.

But it doesnt mean you shouldn't sacrifice other passions.

I believe we can pusue all of them, with whatever capacity and time we have. We reach what we can reach as long as we're alive.

Prioritizing and Intertwining My Passions

However, since time, money, and effort are limited, I thought that the best option is to prioritize my passions without sacrificing other passions.

Do you know the hierarchy of needs by Maslow?

We need to provide our basic needs first before we can reach the other higher levels.

Currently, I am finding ways on how I can intertwine my passion of being a detective with Animezin PH and my other projects that would be my main sources of income.

At the same time, I will hone my problem-solving abilities, observation, deduction, and analysis abilities, through social interactions and my current projects (like programming a game website) and journalling what I learn through blogging and content creation for Animezin PH.

Concluding this sharing

Me and my dad are close. And when I shared him everything I shared on this post, he told me that I'm on the right track.

He shared to me as well that one of my weaknesses is: I plan but I don't execute the plans. Theory without Application.

He also mentioned that, with regards to being a detective, I could put up a private investigative agency, or work in other private investigator agencies without working in the government.

But of course, I need the necessary knowledge before starting that. So, I'm going to study things on UDEMY (not sponsored), and continue reading the Sherlock Holmes books, and most importantly, apply what I learn in any endeavors and projects I have.

As for gaining experience, I dont know yet how to do that, nor do I plan to take up any college course.

But I want to focus on my Circle of Influence: the things within my control. Which is working on my current projects and not worry about what ifs, what nots, the far future, and the negatives that hadn't even happened.

Anyway, there's no point in life if I don't pursue the things I love.

That's all for now. :)

[lunian]

made a couple of posts about Astarion being hilarious gremlin but never made a collection of Gale's silly talks?? I should've fixed it

[spoldhamauthor]

The Weight of Knowing.

A piece of art here on Tumblr reminded me of this poem I wrote years ago. I thought I might as well share it here. Slightly edited from the original. What the hell, I don't exist anyway...

The Weight of Knowing.  Some sadnesses weigh heavy on the heart,  Shadow you all your tired days  Leaving you broken, jaded and bereft  Shaking, as if the shock was new  The deceitful heart too ready to accept  What the eyes and mind have become blind to  Viewed from a distance, they give weight  To current thoughts perhaps, the day’s dilemmas  I believe it has a name; Experience.  That fragile, dangerous ground you stand upon  Where you have been and now someone else has gone  Or else they shape your worn defences  Preach ways to build your walls and keep them high  Practise caution, even when you’re sleeping  Showing themselves in roiling dreams, sleepless nights  Yet still, an ancient sadness can mould you  Knead you like some sallow, pale dough  Roll you in the pain of broken heartbeats  Sear you in the heat of burning moments  Then leave you cooling in your revelations  But you would not be now, who you are  If your sadness had not brought you so far.  S.P Oldham

[haleyincarnate]

Even when you can't open your curtains to welcome the sunlight. Even when your heart feels twice as small as it usually is. Even in the deepest dark you know. Especially then.

Inspired by @wetheurban

[molinaesque]

You know why these boys brought you in? 'Cause I f*cked up a poor, defenseless gang-affiliated organ dealership? Yep. Mm.

[star-struck09]

I would never treat you how you treated me, and I think that is where we are different.

[thoughtkick]

If they miss you, they’ll call. If they want you, they’ll say it. If they care, they’ll show it. And if not, they aren’t worth your time.

Lessons Learned in Life

[selfhealingmoments]

[perfectfeelings]

You can’t change how people feel about you - so don’t try. Just live your life, and be happy.

Lessons Learned in Life

[perfectquote]

If they miss you, they’ll call. If they want you, they’ll say it. If they care, they’ll show it. And if not, they aren’t worth your time.

Lessons Learned in Life

[frankenshane]

"young men have no skills and no partners and that's why they're now right wing" takes are insane because it just says to me that they are 1. unwilling to work to develop marketable skills, 2. unwilling to work to develop good relationships, 3. unwilling to learn how to speak to young women

[haleyincarnate]

And such is the cycle.

[resqectable]

If they miss you, they’ll call. If they want you, they’ll say it. If they care, they’ll show it. And if not, they aren’t worth your time.

Lessons Learned in Life

[firelise]