#kryten headcanons

[castiels-slinky]

RED DWARF HCS!!!!

Rimmer is biromantic asexual. (Internalized homophobia, though; he believes that he is broken and tries to act as if he isn't in order to "fix it".)

Kryten doesn't identify with any gender, but he does usually use he/him pronouns for simplicity.

The Cat does, in fact, have a tail! He just hides it so no one pulls on it.

Lister enjoys making pillow forts, especially when he wants to watch his favorite shows.

Lister's also intersex because I said so.

Rimmer secretly cares deeply for everyone aboard RD. Yes, even the skutters. He knows all of their names and pronouns and everything.

Lister was heavily influenced by David Bowie, KISS, and the Sex Pistols. They all made him want to learn to play guitar and perform.

Kryten is SUPER into reality TV.

He has gotten everyone else into it.

They watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians together.

KOCHANSKI??? TRANSFEM.

Lister wants to decorate jackets for the other Boys From The Dwarf (tm), complete with all sorts of patches and buttons that he feels like they would identify with.

Rimmer loves to paint. While soft-light, not being able to do that upsets him greatly.

He is also VERY tactile. Being hard-light has made him far happier than he would ever admit simply because he can touch.

The Cat has made it his mission to try to bedazzle Rimmer's 'H'.

Holly is genderfluid who doesn't give a damn.

She's like. "She/Her? Yep." And then randomly goes, "Actually, he/him. No wait-"

They have game nights and such! Movie nights, too. They once all made friendship bracelets for each other.

Friendly reminder that my ask box is ALWAYS open! Feel free to drop headcanon requests. It always makes me happy! :)

[therealsullivan3000]

Red Dwarf Headcanons (w/ a copius amount of Rimster)

Rimmer once stole Lister's guitar, repaired the missing strings, and tuned it and when Lister found out, he was upset until he tried playing it and realized that it didn't actually sound bad

With the guitar tuned, Rimmer still doesn't want to hear Lister play anything, but then Lister agrees to learn Edelweiss from The Sound of Music and Rimmer decides that he's allowed to play that

Rimmer then forces Lister to play Edelweiss for him whenever he can't sleep and although Lister gets sick of the song, he does it anyway because he knows it makes Rimmer happy

The two eventually move out of their bunkroom and into the Captains Quarters on Lister's suggestion because it has a bigger bed; Rimmer agrees to it because he likes the idea of occupying the room of the highest ranking officer on the ship

Lister can actually cook if he tries hard enough and has a recipe, meanwhile Rimmer cannot cook whatsoever; he attempted once and was henceforth banned from the kitchen

Rimmer is actually very physically affectionate but hates having to initiate it and so Lister learns all of Rimmer's unspoken cues for when he wants a hug or a hand to hold

Lister uses all sorts of ridiculous pet names for Rimmer just to get him worked up

The Cat will sometimes just come into Rimmer and Lister's room, sleep on the foot of their bed, and then if they question it he'll just say that it was the most comfortable spot in the moment

When Lister and Rimmer eventually want to get married, Kryten ends up officiating the wedding after taking an online course to get a license but then ends up objecting during the objections because he's upset that now he'll have one less set of sheets to launder

Rimmer is asexual and didn't realize it until he tried to make moves on Lister and Lister confronted him, asking if he actually wanted sex or if he just thought it was just what people are supposed to do in relationships (Rimmer totally thought it was just relationship protocol)

Rimmer will occasionally take Lister's leather jacket and wear it around because it makes him feel safe and loved

[mxtheo3]

Happy Aro and Ace Awareness Days this pride with this Holly moment

"I didn't see anything. I don't think I've got any desire. Either that or my screen is foggy"

I normally read Holly to be in the AroAce spectrum anyway but as I rewatch Camile to celebrate Ace's pride for Kryten and Camile's relationship I just noticed this quote. Like omg Aro Holly's headcanon is just *chef kiss*

Red Dwarf is a give that keeps on giving

[mmufanatic]

If there is anyone out there who likes Murder Most Unladylike and Red Dwarf, then imagine Hazel as Kryten, Daisy as Rimmer, Alexander as Lister and George as Cat. There must be someone else out there who can imagine George removing the emergency parachute of a spacecraft to make a puffer jacket out of it.

[ruindunburnit]

Mfw I just realised that Kryten (Red Dwarf) was probably named in honour of the author of Westworld, Michael Crichton. 🤦‍♂️

[holographicvoyager]

I love how Rimmer was canonically diagnosed with anxiety disorder in a later episode like yes boy get that diagnosis you neurotic little man

[red-dwarfer]

some headcanons cause why not 😎

[smirk-mode]

headcanon - Lister's had several appendectomy's now. Every few years he goes to the medibay to find out what's wrong with his stomach, and the medibot tells him he has appendicitis.

The first time he got his appendix out when he was in his teens, he thought nothing of it except that "chicks dig scars"

The second time he put it down to wibbly wobbly timey wimey since they'd screwed with the timeline so much.

The third time he put it down to the nanobots - since they reconstructed his arm maybe they grew him a new appendix too

The fourth time he thought it was a bad joke

The fifth time he demanded a second opinion from Kryten's psi-scan - it confirmed he had an inflamed appendix

The sixth time he freaked out and flipped his shit, which everyone put down to feverish delirium.

The seventh time was when Rimmer had to chloroform him to calm him down, and started arranging for Kryten to perform operations on Lister without his knowledge, eventually leading to the Lemons incident...

By the eleventh time he learned not to overthink it and instead just decided to go down to the medibay and ask for a new scar for his strange little collection

[cogsandgadgetry]

I do have this odd headcanon since Rimmer is a hologramatic AI and he’s connected not only to Holly, who resurrected him, but the fact is Holly didn’t have to inform Rimmer what happened three million years ago.

Holly recorded it.

He recorded the entire tragedy during the radiation leak. Imagine having your hologramatic representation reviewing the carnage. I can see why he was reading up on how to 'cope with his death.' He was most likely being confronted with visual documentation of what happened during the radiation leak and its aftermath.

His memories, his identity, and the trauma associated with what had happened when Holly was bringing him up to speed.

Most likely one of the many reasons he was so obsessed with death.

That and the fact I also have a headcanon where Holly and Rimmer share a symbiotic relationship with each other. (I’ll explain this one a bit later)

I love Rimmer, but I adore Kryten, Holly, and the skutters.

So you can see why I like these sorts of things.

[red-dwarf-bracket]

Oh boy, our first main character matchup, propaganda, as always, under the cut!

The Cat

He’s Kenough. Seriously though, he’s just as traumatised as the rest of the crew but he never gets enough recognition for this. He was abandoned at a young age for being uncool, and now his entire life revolves around being cool, even when usually there isn’t anyone who’d care to see it. One headcanon I saw that I really like and fits this is that his real name is Duane Dibley, but he told the other he didn’t have one because it’s not a cool name. That’s just another reason why ‘Back to Reality’ must’ve been awful for him (I mean it was awful for everyone, by design, but I digress).

Kryten

Why I think Kryten should win is because he wouldn’t think he would be able to. He’d see himself as too worthless to even be able to be entered in the first place. So basically he should get pity votes… actually no, he shouldn’t. He deserves to win because he gives, and he gives, and he gives, creating himself as a reflection of who they want him to be instead of figuring I out for himself because he’s scared to lose the crewmates, the friends he’s made for seeming too opinionated or rude or otherwise not what they want him to be or who he thinks they want him to be. He’s a sweetheart who tries to go the extra mile but misses barely, either causing disruption or, in Nova 5’s case, complete destruction. He’s pushed either to be a servant or copy of Lister, neither of which are who he truly wants to be, but he feels that by adapting Listers’ selfishness and deceit through learning and observing that it’s get him closer to becoming more human-like. All he wants is a garden, and to take care of only that garden instead of being bound by a code he never asked for. But if he’s not useful, then he’s insulted and belittled, not that he wasn’t insulted or belittled to begin with. And being useless is something he fears more than anything. Even though he is just as deserving of a happy ending as Lister or Rimmer or Cat… the former two receive a lot more attention than him or the Cat… which goes without saying if Kryten loses before Cat I will vote for Cat because he’s also entirely deserving of praise [and not just because of his beautiful ass] In the books, Kryten spends most of them wanting to either kill himself for not being what he was made to be. But in the end, he kills himself to save Lister and the Cat, his last bit of ‘usefulness’. He doesn’t just deserve to win, he deserves to be happy instead of living a life hurtling through deep space ironing someone’s’ socks. He deserves his garden, he deserves to enjoy nature fully instead of rushing through an episode, he deserves to sit without worry and love himself and just allow himself to exist. And to realise that nothing was his fault, that he doesn’t have to bend over backwards to meet anyone else’s’ standards. He deserves to win because he’s not ‘so much more’. He just is. And I will spread every bit of propaganda I can even if it’s a futile attempt, because he’s been a comfort for me since I literally six years old, before rediscovering him at twelve, before letting myself enjoy him years later when I realized just how important he is, how much I relate to him, and how wonderful he is as a character in general. Via @cinnamon-phrog thank you again!!

[iiep-wop]

sifkfk i know youre more into red dwarf rn but ive never watched it so uhh do whoever your favourite character is for the ask game :3

TERMITE ITS YOU OMG HI

Anyway ask time!!

Doing my buddy Dave Lister because he's literally so silly

Sexuality Headcanon: I think he's Bi, he just radiates insane Bi energy

Gender Headcanon: I think hes a trans-guy, there's just something about him

A ship I have with said character: Him and Rimmer forever, they're so old married couple core <3

A BROTP I have with said character: Brotp probably gonna be him and Kryten, they're so silly together and I love that Lister's not giving up on helping Kryten break his programming

A NOTP I have with said character: Lister and Season 7/8 Kochanski - No, although its the relationship the show pushes I just really dont get any of the correct vibes about it, plus she's literally his mum because of timeline smeggery, so really just no

A random headcanon: He is deathly afraid of spiders, idk it just feels like something he'd be scared of. Like he'd get Rimmer to come get it for him and Rimmer would give him some snide remark about it

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE HIM TO BITS HE IS MY SCRUMBLO UP THERE WITH JED AND OC FR

[castiels-slinky]

Rimmer HCs!

Rimmer actually is/was an amazing swimmer! However, he had lost one (1) competition, which caused him to quit as his parents were extremely disappointed in him. He then ended up subconsciously believing that he didn't know how to swim in the end.

He's rather intelligent, but suffers from SEVERE test anxiety; it's to the point where he physically got ill whenever he had to take an exam.

He loves being held, but he also loves to hold others.

Rimmer has everyone's birthdays memorized. He leaves them little gifts, pretending that he only made one because he "had to" or "Lister made me". Lister has never needed to force him.

Rimmer has trained himself to never cry in front of other people.

The others have been working to get him to let his emotions out in ways that aren't just anger, reminding him that he's allowed to cry.

Whenever he shows that he actually cares about his crewmates, Rimmer will just cover it up with an insult. It's not as effective as he thinks it is.

The first person he ever came out to was Lister, who told him that he loved him all the same; there was nothing wrong with him for being who he was.

He's claimed a room near his and Lister's bunk as his "studio". Here, he likes to paint, draw, and make collages.

He actually bought Rachel so he could have a friend.

[beej-machinations]

Kryten literally tried to warn them - rather than prompted i think Rimmer was almost compelled to scarper (i really liked your fic, btw)

further headcanon: in this last scene, nothing's happened to Lister. he's just in the bathroom or something - Perfect timing for Rimmer to get his revenge on Lister for causing all this!

Rimmerworld headcanon

Rimmer only jumped into the escape pod because he remembered the guys future selves telling him about it.

[clippedionianvowels]

Random Red Dwarf Headcanons:

I’ve had a bit too much wine and free time, and this is the result.

When Rimmer becomes hardlight, Lister sometimes lets him help with painting his clothes (e.g. see his painted leather jacket or the painted shirt he wears).

They take it in turns each week to make up a new game. Most of them are shit and get one play each, but sometimes this leads to classics. A favourite is ‘Hide the Freak’ where Rimmer is tasked with hiding and Holly provides various disguises to help him blend in. Think prop hunt, but with Rimmer. (This particular game was inspired by the polymorph). Rimmer agrees to play this VERY begrudgingly but secretly enjoys it.

Rimmer creates a hall of shoe trees using some display cabinets and a less busy corridor. It is a monument to fastidiousness but is at least tastefully done. It is soon expanded to include vintage wires and photographs of telephone poles, and before long Rimmer is forcing them all on tours through his museum.

The Cat went through a phase of using Kryten’s spare limbs as litter trays. No one speaks of this.

They nearly manage to form a band. No one speaks of this either.

Lister speaks Esperanto with Kryten for the simple reason that it drives Rimmer up the wall. (And maybe also so that he can treat Kryten as an agony aunt to help him deal with his crush on euro tunnel nostrils)

Kryten takes his role as agony aunt seriously, opening up a suggestion box which is thoroughly abused by Rimmer, who suggests that they all boil their heads.

The Cat gets into making bread and has a rather impressive sourdough starter. No one else has ever tried the bread.

Baby vending machines show up and no one notices at first because they are so small. They dispense tiktaks and M&Ms.

Kryten invents a new material and calls it ‘Krytonite’. No one has any idea what it can be used for.

Holly develops an obsession with playing eye-spy and the others are remarkably sporting about it.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

The Cat from Red Dwarf would 100% do drag if anyone presented it to him as an option. Like it wouldn't even really be about experimenting with gender presentation for him, it's just the chance to wear even more extravagant outfits and perform with everybody looking at him. I'm positive that he wears at least some makeup already (contours, eyeliner and highlights at least).

Lister would be a bit awkward at first— like trying to show his support but not really knowing how to react— but would end up being genuinely supportive because the Cat's so clearly in his element.

Kryten genuinely doesn't see what all the fuss is about (which offends Cat more than anything else). The guy who didn't notice for centuries that his entire crew had fucking died on him is not going to pick up that the Cat is wearing a different outfit than usual. He's got laundry to do, for heaven's sake!

Rimmer is the least supportive out of the crew and keeps making snide comments about it that Cat just shrugs off. This is because Rimmer has secretly always been curious about drag himself, but never had the confidence to try it (aside from that one time with the holovirus).

[tobelovedandtohavebeenloved]

Headcanon time:

Rimmer’s a hologram which means of course that even now that he has a more physical form, he’s still made of light.

Which leads me to my personal belief that Rimmer glows- but very very faintly. Not enough to notice amidst the background light of the Dwarf, or the bunkroom.

But I like to think that if they were ever somewhere that was truly dark, absolutely pitch black- with no source of light for your eyes to adjust, just… Dark. If they were trapped somewhere like that, I like to think Rimmer would still be visible. You’d be able to see him dimly, not make out every feature or detail, but he’s made of light, it should be impossible for it to be too dark to make out his form. Maybe it would even be just enough light for eyes to gain some night vision.

Anyways just imagining Lister and Rimmer being stuck somewhere in the dark, finding this out, and then Lister having to use an indignant Rimmer as a torch.