#cat is making bread because of the evolutionary impulse to KNEAD he needs to knead

[clippedionianvowels]

Random Red Dwarf Headcanons:

I’ve had a bit too much wine and free time, and this is the result.

When Rimmer becomes hardlight, Lister sometimes lets him help with painting his clothes (e.g. see his painted leather jacket or the painted shirt he wears).

They take it in turns each week to make up a new game. Most of them are shit and get one play each, but sometimes this leads to classics. A favourite is ‘Hide the Freak’ where Rimmer is tasked with hiding and Holly provides various disguises to help him blend in. Think prop hunt, but with Rimmer. (This particular game was inspired by the polymorph). Rimmer agrees to play this VERY begrudgingly but secretly enjoys it.

Rimmer creates a hall of shoe trees using some display cabinets and a less busy corridor. It is a monument to fastidiousness but is at least tastefully done. It is soon expanded to include vintage wires and photographs of telephone poles, and before long Rimmer is forcing them all on tours through his museum.

The Cat went through a phase of using Kryten’s spare limbs as litter trays. No one speaks of this.

They nearly manage to form a band. No one speaks of this either.

Lister speaks Esperanto with Kryten for the simple reason that it drives Rimmer up the wall. (And maybe also so that he can treat Kryten as an agony aunt to help him deal with his crush on euro tunnel nostrils)

Kryten takes his role as agony aunt seriously, opening up a suggestion box which is thoroughly abused by Rimmer, who suggests that they all boil their heads.

The Cat gets into making bread and has a rather impressive sourdough starter. No one else has ever tried the bread.

Baby vending machines show up and no one notices at first because they are so small. They dispense tiktaks and M&Ms.

Kryten invents a new material and calls it ‘Krytonite’. No one has any idea what it can be used for.

Holly develops an obsession with playing eye-spy and the others are remarkably sporting about it.